DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 09/28/2026 Duedate: 10/10/2026
DULLENS ARENA
DM 13 TURN 806
This Week's Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
STROPTOP
HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
(13-6173) [2-0-1,56]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
POSITION IS EMPTY STROPTOP
HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
(13-6173) [2-0-1,56]
Popularity Leader This Week's Favorite
MEANY DEAF LEOPARD
DECISIONS 2 (708) ARENA FELINES! (713)
(13-6215) [2-0-0,17] (13-6239) [1-1-0,4]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
BIG TROUBLE (692)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. HOWLIN SHARPENS (700) 53
2. AXE GRINDERS (707) 49 THE DARK FOREST (498)
3. YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673) 47 Unchartered Team
4. CROWNING BLUES (685) 42
5. THE STOOGES (712) 38 BIG TROUBLE (692)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 2*BIG TROUBLE (692) 8 2 1 80.0 1/ 2*BIG TROUBLE (692) 8 2 1
2- 4*TWILIGHT (690) 4 1 0 80.0 2/35*AXE GRINDERS (707) 7 3 1
3- 5*SOUP DU JOUR (694) 4 1 0 80.0 3/18*ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696) 7 3 1
4/35*AXE GRINDERS (707) 7 3 1 70.0 4/20*YUPPIE HOARD (701) 7 3 0
5/19*ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696) 7 3 1 70.0 5/ 8*ERRATA (672) 6 4 2
6/20*YUPPIE HOARD (701) 7 3 0 70.0 6/ 1*SATAN'S KINGDOM (699) 6 4 2
7/ 9*ERRATA (672) 6 4 2 60.0 7/23*YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673) 6 4 1
8/ 1*SATAN'S KINGDOM (699) 6 4 2 60.0 8/13*KEEBLER TWELVES (688) 6 4 1
9/21*PLANESWALKERS (703) 6 4 1 60.0 9/ 9*BIG LAKE CROWN (695) 6 4 1
10/23*YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673) 6 4 1 60.0 10/26*HOWLIN SHARPENS (700) 6 4 1
11/10*KEEBLER TWELVES (688) 6 4 1 60.0 11/21*PLANESWALKERS (703) 6 4 1
12/ 6*BIG LAKE CROWN (695) 6 4 1 60.0 12/15*ARENA FELINES! (713) 6 4 0
13/26*HOWLIN SHARPENS (700) 6 4 1 60.0 13/11*THE NINTH SEAT (666) 6 4 0
14/18*ARENA FELINES! (713) 6 4 0 60.0 14/17*TURBO TEAM (677) 6 4 0
15/13*THE NINTH SEAT (666) 6 4 0 60.0 15/33*CROWNING BLUES (685) 6 4 0
16/14*TURBO TEAM (677) 6 4 0 60.0 16/16*LEGENDS OF MALAZAN (693) 6 4 0
17/29*CROWNING BLUES (685) 6 4 0 60.0 17/ 7*THE DULL EDGE (671) 5 5 1
18/17*LEGENDS OF MALAZAN (693) 6 4 0 60.0 18/30*THE BILESTOAD (675) 5 5 1
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19/ 8*THE DULL EDGE (671) 5 5 1 50.0 19/12*SAGE SOLDIERS 101 (710) 5 5 0
20/31*THE BILESTOAD (675) 5 5 1 50.0 20/19*SUPERIOR FORCES RFT (678) 5 5 0
21/12*OF WOLF & SAVAGE (665) 5 5 0 50.0 21/ 3*COUNTRY ROADS (680) 5 5 0
22/30*DARQUE HOMONCULI (691) 5 5 0 50.0 22/43*THE STOOGES (712) 5 5 0
23/15*SUPERIOR FORCES RFT (678) 5 5 0 50.0 23/14*OF WOLF & SAVAGE (665) 5 5 0
24/11*SAGE SOLDIERS 101 (710) 5 5 0 50.0 24/27*DARQUE HOMONCULI (691) 5 5 0
25/ 3*COUNTRY ROADS (680) 5 5 0 50.0 25- 5*SOUP DU JOUR (694) 4 1 0
26/40*THE STOOGES (712) 5 5 0 50.0 26- 4*TWILIGHT (690) 4 1 0
27/16*KHORS FREEBOOTERS (683) 3 4 0 42.9 27/41*SQUARED CIRCLE (676) 4 6 1
28/32*NEON DULLARDS (669) 4 6 1 40.0 28/31*NEON DULLARDS (669) 4 6 1
29/24*ABATT0IR DULLENS (684) 4 6 1 40.0 29/25*ABATT0IR DULLENS (684) 4 6 1
30/ 7*AURIGA (670) 4 6 1 40.0 30/ 6*AURIGA (670) 4 6 1
31/39*SQUARED CIRCLE (676) 4 6 1 40.0 31/34*WASTELAND 13 (704) 4 6 1
32/27*WASTELAND 13 (704) 4 6 1 40.0 32/32*APOSTLES (698) 4 6 0
33/28*HOCUS POCUS (667) 4 6 0 40.0 33/28*HOCUS POCUS (667) 4 6 0
34/33*APOSTLES (698) 4 6 0 40.0 34/36*DECISIONS 2 (708) 4 6 0
35/36*DECISIONS 2 (708) 4 6 0 40.0 35/10*KHORS FREEBOOTERS (683) 3 4 0
36-25*FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711) 2 3 1 40.0 36/29*DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681) 3 7 0
37/38*SHAMAN SISTERS (686) 3 7 0 30.0 37/40*SHAMAN SISTERS (686) 3 7 0
38/34*DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681) 3 7 0 30.0 38/38*DRAGONS (697) 3 7 0
39/41*DRAGONS (697) 3 7 0 30.0 39-24*FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711) 2 3 1
40/22*MALICIOUS INTENT (674) 2 8 2 20.0 40/22*MALICIOUS INTENT (674) 2 8 2
41/42*GLUTEN FREE (679) 2 8 1 20.0 41/42*GLUTEN FREE (679) 2 8 1
42/43*LEGENDS OF PAIN (706) 2 8 0 20.0 42/39*LEGENDS OF PAIN (706) 2 8 0
43/37*BANDS I LIKE (705) 1 9 1 10.0 43/37*BANDS I LIKE (705) 1 9 1
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
Race for the Crown Turn 1 Report!
Forty-Three, yes, that's right, Forty-Three managers each sent five warriors to the
sands this last turn, for a total of 215 warriors!
Let's get it right out of the way up top before I get into the fun bits of doing this
report. I mean, not that declaring someone else's warrior earning a prize isn't fun,
but it wasn't mine you see.
Without further ado, Stroptop of Howlin Sharpens won his Dark Arena match to gain 33
RP, vault into Challenger Initiates and took the Duelmaster throne on turn 1. This
means that Howlin Wolf earned a single bonus pot and a single team sheet from the
prize pool of 108. The Duelmaster prize will have to wait until turn 15, so plenty of
time to unseat Stroptop.
This is a nice segue into a series of guesses I made about the contest over on the RSI
Discord server:
Guess Result
---------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
At least one manager will win a DA fight
and win the First to Challenger Initiate Yes, as you see above.
award on Turn 1.
At least 20 Dark Arena Fights Not True, there were only 8.
True. There were 13 random matchup deaths
At least 7 non-DA kills and at least 2 and The Dark One and Chad each scored two
managers will have 2 of them. kills with Satan's Kingdom and Malicious
Intent, respectively.
Well the 41 from me was not a guess, so I
At least 65 personal ads (41 from me) can't say I got that right, as a guess.
Otherwise, not true, as there were only 47.
Come on, more trash talk!
At least 6 team spotlights, not True, there were 9 team spotlights!
including my "intro to the competition" By Tripwire, Tallow, Dokar, Master Darque,
spotlight. Hammer, Gentleben, Jack Burton, OAB, and
Khorvinus.
True, but I feel dirty taking this
as a win because we had 70... 70!!!
There will be over 45 Strikers Strikers. Which means more than
2/3rds of the teams have 2 strikers.
There will be less than 30 Lungers. Not True, there were 56. Which means
several teams had two or more.
There will be at least 10 Aimed Blows. Not True, but so, so close! Only 9.
There will be at least 5 Parry Ripostes. True. There were six. I almost nailed this
one!
There will be less than 15 Bashers. Not True. There were 23.
There will be at least 7 Total Parries. True, there were 11.
There will be at least 4 Walls of Steel. True, there were 6.
My bet is zero Parry-Strikers or Not True, there were 10 and 3 respectively.
Parry-Lungers.
There will be less than 20 Slashers. Not True, but so close! There were 21.
At least 2 managers will not pay enough
attention to the rules and lose out on Too Soon To Tell
the Endurance prize by DA'ing too quickly.
Now, for some other fun stuff. There were no challenges or bloodfeuds, although I
expect quite a few of both on Turn 2. However, some quirk of fate said that Superior
Forces RftC was most avoided. Someone was playing the game! This gives Manager 1 point
on the Most Avoided ledger for the end of the competition. Several of us have some
catching up to do!
Some fun things I realized, Dullens has some fun Dark Arena creatures to fight! Among
them that we saw this turn were Salt Golem, Potato Golem, The Phone Booth, Nomadic
Horse Lord, Undead Potato Lord, and Funky Disco Dude. Another item on the Dark Arena
docket, is those managers who sent one or more warriors to the Dark Arena. I explained
the rules in my turn 1 Race for the Crown intro spotlight. Alfredo, Howlin Wolf,
Mithril, Neon Necromancer, and Riff-Raff each sent one warrior to the dark arena,
while Shocking Toad sent two. Each of their replacements must fight, in the arena, for
5 turns, before they can send those replacements to the Dark Arena, if they want to
qualify for the Endurance Award or be eligible for Best Team Record prize. That means,
the next turn they can send the replacement to the Dark Arena will be Contest Turn 7
or Arena Turn 811.
On this note, for those who lost a guy in a regular random matchup and sent a guy to
the Dark Arena, don't worry about which replacement is which warrior slot. That will
all work itself out when you run both, Dark Arena One and run the other, or Dark Arena
both of them. If you do run both of them, however, please let me know which warrior is
your Dark Arena slot, so I can track it correctly. If I haven't heard from you, and
you Dark Arena one of these two later and it has not been run for 5 turns (meaning you
Dark Arena that warrior prior to turn 811), I will assume you did it correctly, but
that means I'm assigning which warrior goes in which slot.
With 215 warriors, an odd number, at least one warrior was always going to face an
NPC. That happened to be Tolar's, Tapioca Flour of Gluten Free, who defeated Scumorama
and gained 18 recognition points.
Now for the truly weird. We had exactly two warriors that shared a name. That's right,
out of 215 warriors, only two had the exact same name. Moe. So kismet, karma, luck,
spooky wooky stuff? Does it matter what you call it? It's just plain weird that they
fought each other on turn one, in a random matchup. Or was it? For the record, Moe
beat Moe.
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
Chapter Two: The First Portal -- Of Wolf & Savage
Twenty years before Tripwire had come to the village of the Savage Direwolves, he was
a powerful psionic and a member of a group called the Doomcorps. The Doomcorps had a
large guild hall underneath Jhans in the south, and inside the guild hall were many
rooms that were used for meetings, training, studying and sometimes just drinking.
One of the nicest rooms belonged to the senior members of the group. It had expensive
furniture, a large fireplace and several shelves filled with books and strange objects
that had been collected over the years. It was in this room that Tripwire spent a lot
of his time studying and meditating because he believed that if he could control his
powers enough, he could eventually learn how to open portals to other cities and
possibly other worlds in the future that would further the guild and its members.
Tripwire was sitting in the middle of the room with his legs crossed and his eyes
closed. He was floating about three feet above the floor, and a faint blue glow
surrounded his body. He had been doing this for many hours and the others in the room
had mostly gotten used to it. Ultraist was sitting in a large chair near the
fireplace. He was a huge human with more muscle than seemed necessary and long golden
hair that went almost to his waist. He was cleaning his sword while watching
Tripwire. Jekyll was standing in one of the darker corners of the room. Nobody knew
exactly what race Jekyll was, and he never talked about it. He wore a cloak and a
mask that covered his face and his entire body seemed to blend into shadows whenever
he stood in one. The fourth member was Otis, who was sitting at the bar with a drink
in his hand as usual. Otis was a friendly man and liked to joke around, but there was
something about him that made people who knew him well realize he was much more
dangerous than he looked.
"How long has he been doing that?" Otis asked.
"Since this morning," Ultraist answered.
Otis glanced at the hourglass set up in the corner, "It's almost night."
Ultraist nodded, "He's very dedicated."
Otis took a drink, "Or very stupid."
Jekyll spoke from the corner without moving, "Both are possible." His arm flashed and
a thin knife thunked a hair's breadth away from Tripwire's nose, joining the other
multiple knives surrounding him.
Ultraist laughed.
Tripwire didn't react to any of them. He continued meditating and the blue glow
around him became a little brighter. A small book sitting on the table began to
shake. Then it slowly lifted into the air. A cup followed it, and then one of the
chairs started moving across the floor by itself. Ultraist watched with interest
while Otis moved his drink out of the way.
"I think he's getting close," Ultraist said.
Tripwire suddenly opened his eyes, and the entire room went silent. The blue light
around him became so bright that everyone had to cover their eyes. The floating
objects dropped to the floor and the candles around the room went out. Then there was
a loud crack, almost like a piece of wood breaking, except the sound seemed to come
from the air itself. A blue line appeared in front of Tripwire. It was only a few
inches long at first, but it quickly became larger. The line stretched from the floor
to the ceiling and then widened until it became a large glowing opening. The inside of
it looked like a tunnel filled with swirling black liquid and far in the distance
stood another place, sun blazing on a horizon. Tripwire stared at it.
Nobody moved.
Ultraist stood up. "Did you do that?"
Tripwire slowly smiled, "I think so."
Ultraist walked closer, "You actually opened one."
"I think he did!", Otis stood up and looked at the portal, "Where does it go?"
Tripwire's smile faded a little, "I don't know."
Otis looked at him, "You don't know?"
"I was concentrating on opening one to.. anywhere, I haven't figured out how to
control the destination yet."
Otis looked at Ultraist, "That's comforting."
Ultraist ignored him and walked closer to the portal. He reached his hand toward it
but stopped before touching the strange light, "This is incredible."
Jekyll finally moved from his corner. He stepped closer to the portal, but he didn't
look excited like Ultraist. Instead, he was watching the edges of it, "There is
something wrong."
Tripwire turned toward him, "What?"
Jekyll pointed toward the floor. At first none of them saw anything. Then Otis
noticed a small black drop of what seemed like liquid falling from the bottom of the
portal and hit the floor. Another drop followed, then another, the black liquid
slowly spreading across the floor.
Jekyll took a step backward, "Close it."
Tripwire looked at the portal, "Uhhh, I can't, I haven't gotten that far yet!"
The black liquid began coming through faster. It was not water and it was not oil; it
was thick and black and seemed to move on its own. It started spreading across the
floor and climbing the walls. Soon there was enough of it that the four members of
the Doomcorps could see it moving like something alive.
Ultraist drew his huge broadsword, "What is that?"
"I don't know," Tripwire said.
The black liquid suddenly moved toward the center of the room and began to rise. It
formed arms and legs, heads, then it began to split apart. Several dark creatures
stood up from the liquid. They were shaped somewhat like people but were much taller
and thinner. Their bodies were covered in black slime, and their faces didn't have
normal features. They looked like something that had been made from shadows and mud.
One of them screamed in a gurgling high-pitched noise. Jekyll disappeared. The
creature swung its arm through the spot where he had been standing. Jekyll appeared
behind it and drove one of his daggers into its back, the creature turned around
sluggishly but getting faster by the moment, Jekyll disappeared again. He came out of
another shadow on the opposite side of the room and attacked with his second dagger,
this one glowing slightly. He moved quickly from shadow to shadow, appearing for only
a second before disappearing again. The creature tried to follow him but couldn't
figure out where he would appear next. "Magical weapons." The assassin said aloud.
Ultraist charged another one. The huge man changed while he ran--his body grew larger
and his muscles became even bigger. Golden hair covered his skin and his face changed
into that of a huge lion. His hands became claws and his teeth grew sharp. The were-
lion slammed into one of the creatures and knocked it across the room. Ultraist
grabbed it before it could get back up and attacked with both his sword and claws. The
creature fought back and scratched his arm, but Ultraist didn't stop, quickly
thrusting his glowing sword into its midsection with a splurch.
Otis looked around the room, drink in hand, "Well, this is a problem." One of the
creatures came toward him. A bottle of liquid appeared out of seemingly nowhere and
Otis popped the cork and looked around. One of the creatures attacked repeatedly,
seeming to barely miss Otis as he moved out of the way over and over. Otis smashed
the bottle over the hardening creature's head then quickly moved out of the way and
slashed it across the arm with the broken portion gripped firmly. A hiss and burning
stench came from the creature as it seemed to melt where the liquid from Otis' bottle
had struck it. "Acid works" he said and moved again when it attacked a second time
and then stabbed it with the broken bottle. His movements were much faster than
anyone would expect from a man who spent most of his time drinking. "Not bad," he
said. His other hand came up, and he took a swig of the jug still in his other hand.
Then another creature attacked him from behind. Otis turned just in time somehow and
blocked it with his arm. "That was close."
Tripwire raised both hands. The creature attacking Otis suddenly flew backward and
crashed into the wall. Tripwire was using his psionic powers to push the creatures
away, but there were too many of them. Every time one was knocked down another came
through the portal.
"We have to close it!" Ultraist yelled.
"I'm trying!" Tripwire faced the portal and stared at it as a creature lunged at him.
A flashing sword intercepted the creature just before it struck, Jekyll there folding
out of the dark then flickering away again. Ultraist continued to roar and tear the
creatures apart. The portal began to shrink. The creatures screamed and now dove
towards the portal to try to hold it open. Their long arms reached through the
opening while more of them tried to come through.
Jekyll appeared beside Tripwire, "You're making it smaller."
"I know."
"But they are still coming through," Jekyll teased.
"I know that too!"
"Then make it smaller faster."
Tripwire looked annoyed, "I'm doing my best."
A creature rushed toward them. Jekyll stepped in front of Tripwire and attacked with
both daggers. He disappeared into the creature's shadow and came out behind it.
Before the creature could turn around, Jekyll cut across its legs and knocked it down.
Ultraist came charging through the room and finished it with a powerful swing of his
sword.
Otis threw another broken bottle at a creature as he drank, "How many of these things
are there?"
"Too many!" Ultraist yelled.
Tripwire pushed with everything he had, and the portal started closing faster. Then
something appeared behind the creatures. It was much larger than the others and a
pair of dark red eyes investigated the room. None of them could see the entire thing
because most of it was still inside the portal, but they could see a huge dark shape
and heard a low growl. Everyone stopped for a second. Even Ultraist. Tripwire stared
at it. "What is that?" The dark eyes looked directly at him, Tripwire felt something
inside his mind. It wasn't a voice exactly; it was more like a thought that didn't
belong to him. "OPEN!!! Tripwire pushed harder. "No!" The portal began to collapse.
The creatures screamed as the opening became smaller. Jekyll attacked the last
creature that had made it into the room. Ultraist grabbed another and threw it back
toward the portal. Otis smashed his last bottle against a table and charged the final
creature with the broken glass. Tripwire screamed and released all his psionic power
at once. The portal slammed shut and everything disappeared, the room becoming
completely silent. For several seconds nobody moved, Ultraist slowly changed back
into his normal form.
Otis took a drink and looked around the destroyed meeting room. "There goes the
deposit."
Jekyll looked at him, "What?"
"The furniture." Otis shrugged. "It was expensive."
Tripwire didn't laugh; he was still staring at the place where the portal had been.
"What happened?" Ultraist asked.
Tripwire took a long breath, "I think I know. The creatures came from the other side.
Not the other side of the portal but the in-between part.. the empty part. "When I
opened the portal, I thought I was connecting two places together. I thought there was
nothing between them." He looked at the floor where the black liquid had been, "I was
wrong."
Otis sat down on his favorite stool, "So what was that place?"
Tripwire was quiet for a moment, "It's the Umbral.. I don't know how I know that but
that is what they call themselves. The Umbral.."
Ultraist frowned, "What does that mean?"
"It means there is a space between where you are and where you want to go. A place
that isn't part of either world." Tripwire mused.
Jekyll looked toward the spot where the portal had been, "And those things live
there?"
Tripwire nodded, "Yes, amongst other things."
Ultraist looked at the damage around the room, "Then don't open another one."
Tripwire looked at him, "I have to."
"Why?"
"Because now I know how it works." Tripwire looked toward the empty space in front of
him, "I know how to create the portal. I just need to figure out how to close the gap
between the two places to where the Umbral doesn't slip through. I should be able to
open the portal on both sides of where we are and where we want to go precisely with
no gap and all should be well."
Otis took another drink, "And if you can't?"
Tripwire didn't answer.
Jekyll watched him carefully, "Then the next time you open one..." He looked at the
destroyed room, "...they may come through again."
Tripwire nodded, then resolve on his face, he said, "Then I'll make sure they don't."
Twenty-five years later, Tripwire would stand inside another hall.
He would open another portal, and this time, five orcs would be waiting on the other
side, but something else was seeping through as well, it had been for many years.
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
~ Squared Circle: It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time ~
Fight day had ended, the first to grace Dullens in years. Two hundred warriors had
faced off in the until recently forgotten arena. The crowd had been less than
enthusiastic, those disappointing and disappointed souls who showed up more interested
in the promised goat-meat skewers than the actual procession of combat. This was
probably for the best as large sections of the seating and even the booths reserved
for nobles and Deciders were on the verge of visible collapse, the promised proceeds
for refurbishment from the spectacle still cycles away from having a result. As the
lethargic crowd filed out past warrior teams trying to drum up future interest they
seemed to regard the newcomers, winners or losers, with equal contempt.
A small knot of the curious had, however, gathered around the more "exotic" warriors
presented by Squared Circle. Only four members of the exhibition team from the far
west survived the field, and only one of them had defeated his opponent, but the
peoples of Lirith Kai were at least a curiosity in their nature if not their exploits.
Their manager, a cloaked wizard with the symbol of the god Mantor, stood off to the
side allowing the boisterous dwarven team-speaker he had been forced to acknowledge do
most of the talking. She had slightly greenish hair and green armor she had just worn
during her own unfortunate loss but yelled and postured as if a champion. Her focus,
and that of most of the small gathering, was on the creature behind her which looked
to all the world like a giant robed praying mantis clutching a bladed staff.
"No, that is not a costume. She is indeed a giant insect. Yes, she is intelligent. She
can understand everything you are saying, though we are teaching her common sign
language for those who have trouble understanding her people's sounds. No, that is not
a vulgar gesture she is making. ... Hrk, stop doing that ... She is from a tribe of
her kind in the twisted lands, one of the few that weren't destroyed by raiders. Yes,
those twisted lands. Hrk'Prn'Hrk is here to help spread awareness that it isn't all
just mutants and Rirorni down south of both our lands. And no, she won't eat you or
her opponents."
Delgia basked in the attention, the exchange of questions. It was more her element and
felt a tiny bit like the debating guilds back in the Halls of Khra, though here she
was trying to bring attention to her team and the Circle Armory that sponsored it. She
wasn't, however, prepared for a question from one of the bystanders, nor was anybody
else gathered as all went quiet, "What about that one, he's a Tzaltakan right? Won't
he eat his opponents? Or their heart or something?"
The short, dark-skinned man in ceremonial obsidian armor grimaced and squeezed his
weapon so hard the muscles on his arm visibly rippled. "I won today. Did you witness
me demand to sacrifice my foe to Zokharat? Did I attempt to cut out their organs? Or
did we not simply part, fellow warriors acknowledging each other after sacred battle?"
The questioner squirmed away, while the cloaked wizard nodded and the insectoid mantid
twisted its head curiously. Delgia smiled at Zoloc and boomed "I couldn't have said it
better myself. So, while you are all here, would you be interested in knowing more
about the weaponry my team demonstrated today?"
* * *
Uninterested in post battle theatrics, the chef Jono yen Otga, known in the arena as
Yenso Kesho, had briefly paid respect to his fallen comrade and then headed back to
the shop that Squared Circle currently called home, which they were tasked with
converting to an eastern branch of the armory chain that sponsored them. The death had
been tragic, he supposed, but he hardly knew her and as he recited several times as a
mantra to keep it in perspective, you can't make a dough without breaking some eggs.
Now back 'home,' he nodded acknowledgement to a red-haired laborer that had
accompanied the team from their homeland and then made his way to the kitchen.
Jono noticed that the latest bowls of noodles he had left out for the strange
creatures infesting the basement had been cleaned out and he grinned amiably, patting
his own ample belly and exclaiming, "Satisfied customers!" He checked the small
enclosure near the recently repaired stove and saw one of the smaller specimens still
there chittering and chewing on the copper wiring he had been stringing from the
gridded pen to the back of the cooking appliance. "Cooking without fire or magic,
beyond what you produce naturally, my little gremlin friend. If this works, it will be
the stuff of legend!" He tossed the tiny creature a piece of uncooked dough as a snack
and went back to wiring his creation. Several tiny eyes, a mix of blues and reds,
watched from the dark corners of the room.
* * *
As the day turned to evening, a bulky Zarlan, rough and pale-skinned and with the
stereotypical red hair of his ilk, stood patiently waiting for the narrow-featured
Palani manager to notice him and the forms that needed signing. Jed had returned to
the ramshackle wooden building where he had previously shared a drink with the now
fallen dancer he had been looking forward to guiding... among other activities. The
drinks were still just as muddy, and he had since learned the place had the
disconcertingly selected name 'WHAT ALES YOU'. He couldn't feel the humor, intentional
or unintentional, in it but finally looked up at the patient man observing him, "That
is the shipping order for her remains?"
"Yes sir, miss Lark is boxed and ready to be sent home to her family once the
Commission signs off on these papers. It *is* sort of disturbing sir, that there is so
much salt in the air they say she won't need any other preservation on her return trip
to the empire."
The seated wizard scoffed, "Disturbing is certainly a word for it. A waste is another.
And an inconvenience a closely approaching third: We aren't exactly overflowing with
replacements from the far west."
"No, we aren't sir. We are far, far from home and if I do say so myself, the drinking
spirits here are vile. But I'm sure Lord Dokar will have somebody in mind to send
soon."
The cloaked man bared his teeth at the mention of his business partner's name. "I'm
sure he will... Fritz was it? Though I suppose he won't *need* to if I address the
situation first. How good are you with a sword?"
* * *
Evening had fallen. The streets had grown mostly quiet, save for a few drunken
gladiators and the slamming of shutters to spite them. A small pack of tiny, scrawny,
red-orange creatures were hunting a feral cat, having already consumed the nearby
rats. Just as it escaped them, they noticed a blue-green creature of similar form but
far better fed watching from a flickering lamppost. It beckoned, sparks arcing between
its sharp claws and head-wide leering teeth, and it pointed towards a row of buildings
in the shop district nearby. They looked at their own bellies, then that of the
newcomer, and followed into the night chittering curiously.
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
Fresh, Not Uncomplicated
Episode 2
Seeing the reveal was lost on most of his gladiators, Darque tried to explain, "Tobir
has an earl, Lorivan Torres Dellon. Young, wealthy in land, and unmarried. The two
larger Aruaki clans, Olharin and Desshian, have been trying to entice him toward the
altar. This young lady was one of the enticements."
Small, taloned hands turned the young noblewoman's face first one way and then the
other. Darque opened her mouth, examined her teeth and tongue, then lifted each
eyelid. He stopped. For the briefest moment, his lips pursed. "Turn her on her side."
Sidon and Tyre obeyed. A pale green glow gathered around Darque's hand. He passed it
slowly over the corpse from head to foot. The light remained steady until it crossed
her hip. There it shimmered. Darque paused.
He uttered a short arcane phrase. The others watched in silence, much as spectators
might observe a master tradesman at work. They could see what he was doing. They
understood none of it. The green light flared. A puff of smoke burst from Darque's
nostrils. "Hells."
Sodom, the Aruaki, winced. "Well, that is never a good sign." The others nodded in
agreement. "What's the problem, boss?" she asked.
Darque floated upward and settled onto the edge of the noblewoman's slab. He rubbed
his temples before speaking, each word delivered with deliberate restraint. "The woman
before you is Hypatia Desshian, niece of Yort Desshian, Earl of Zorpunt."
Tyre frowned. "So Fang grabbed someone people might recognize on the sands? That can't
be the problem. You've changed faces before. You've made people unrecognizable." The
others nodded. They had all witnessed Darque alter someone's appearance more than
once.
Sidon watched his master's growing agitation. "That's not the problem," he said. "But
there is a problem. What is it?"
Darque began pacing along the slab. "No. Recognition is merely the first problem. I
obviously cannot send her into the arena looking like this." He made another circuit
around the corpse. "Our second problem is that someone stole a noblewoman barely cold
in her grave from a family crypt."
The gladiators groaned collectively. Whenever Darque began a sentence with "our
problem," it invariably meant work for them. Darque either failed to notice or did not
care.
"They are going to discover she is missing, probably within hours. A woman of her
station won't remain in some provincial tomb near Tobir. The Desshians will demand a
formal burial in Zorpunt, and they will make a spectacle of it. Mourning banners.
Processions. Speeches. A great public exhibition of grief."
Sidon grunted. "Political theater."
"Precisely. And they'll use every moment of it to pressure Earl Dellon toward another
Desshian bride."
Tyre looked down at the corpse. "So Lady Hypatia was a rather important piece in a
dreadfully political game."
"Yes." Darque stopped pacing.
"But we have a larger problem."
Sodom folded her arms. "Bigger than a murdered noblewoman missing from her family
crypt? I can't wait."
Darque snorted. "Save your enthusiasm. This gets considerably worse." He pointed
toward Hypatia's hip. The pale green light returned around his fingertips. Beneath
them, something surfaced on the dead woman's skin: a tiny glyph, dark and intricate,
no larger than a coin. Without Darque's magic, it might easily have passed for a faded
birthmark or an old scar.
"This is a cursemark," he said. "A Wasting Curse, to be precise. You can see it only
because I have forced it into visibility."
Fang stared at the mark. "So?"
"So," Darque said, "Lady Hypatia did not become ill." His talon tapped the glyph. "She
was made ill." Silence settled over the laboratory. "This curse consumed her slowly
enough to resemble disease, and it continued until her body failed."
Sidon looked from the mark to Darque. "So she was murdered?"
"Obviously."
"Why?"
Darque rounded on him. "Have you not been listening? Andorian politics. An unmarried
earl. Competing clans. A conveniently dead prospective bride. Must I draw you a
diagram?"
Sidon scowled. "Who cares about Andorian politics or their games? Change her face and
do that strange magic you do." Several of the others nodded.
Darque stepped off the slab and drifted downward until he hovered face-to-face with
the dwarf. "If I could do that, I would not be here explaining the obvious to a room
full of idiots."
Sidon raised an eyebrow. Darque pointed toward the cursemark. "The curse is still
anchored to her." That silenced the gladiators' mumbles.
"Death ended its purpose, but not the enchantment. If I raise her while the curse
remains attached, I have no idea what it will do to the animation. Perhaps nothing.
Perhaps it consumes the magic sustaining her. Perhaps it spreads through every corpse
linked to the same curse."
He glanced around the laboratory at the other bodies. "I am not contaminating an
entire batch of warriors to find out."
Fang shifted uneasily. "So... what do we do?"
Darque's eyes settled upon him. "You and Sodom are going to Tobir."
Fang blinked. "We are?"
"We need to know who placed the curse on her, who supplied it, and how it was bound. I
already have a reasonable suspicion concerning the motive, but you will investigate
everything."
Sidon's mouth curled into a smirk. "Are we solving mysteries now? Expose the murderer,
earn the gratitude of Earl Yort, make powerful friends, perhaps ruin a rival clan?"
Darque rolled his eyes. "It is nothing so tedious as politics." He looked back at the
dead woman on his table. "I ordered a fresh corpse." His gaze moved to Fang, "You
brought me a cursed one."
Fang spread his hands. "You said fresh. You didn't say uncomplicated." For several
seconds, nobody spoke. Smoke began curling from Darque's nostrils again. Fang lowered
his hands.
Darque pointed toward the door. "Tobir. Now."
As the orc and Aruaki hurried away, Sidon chuckled. "So we're solving a murder."
Darque floated back toward Hypatia's corpse.
"No."
The green glow returned around his hands.
"We are removing an obstruction."
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
The Horse's Salt: A Detective Noir
Part 1: The Red-Clad Recalcitrant
Chapter 1: And So It Goes
The salt vapors infused the very thick and briney air like a dark and foreboding
weather-full nebula surrounding the peak of an angry volcano. The other Vehan Sol, my
squeamish ludus-mates, fled the common room like a crunch of cockroaches scampering
from gasps of poisonous clouds from an exterminator's bellows. They did not partake of
the salt as I did. It was a day, like any other: winds from the south causing a
bittern reek inside the ostentatious domicile. I lounged on the crimson divan against
the west wall to better capture the fragmented rays of the deep orange sun as it
crested the drab, dusty gray hills that were akin to the bosoms of my long dead
abuela, laid to rest and petrified in the pert state of a much younger woman.
I puffed meaningfully on my gurgling nargila. I had chosen the blue salts this time,
to forget the violence -- the buzzing stream of murderous hornets surging inside my
head and driving my unwonted hate. I'm usually kind and shy, but the static drove my
habitual inhibitions to flights of fury known only to the angry gods of the plains and
their forked, luminescent bolts of sickly puce lightning.
I stroked the tiny furred head of Crabby, my tiny monocular salt monkey -- a creature
so aberrantly unique to an uninitiated viewer they might think the dirty off-white fur
were on the misshapen and miniscule ape limbs of a tie-dye fever dream. Her fur
sported whorls not dissimilar to my pareidolia demons dancing across the intricate
Anaglypta gryphonage on the walls as she lolled into my ministrations -- tracing the
tiny patterns I ogled with my pollex and toucher, two digits I fancied as mine like
the pink flamingo his standing leg. And that's when I assume she entered, as I soaked
in the setting.
The gal, if that's what one would call a woman just beyond what one might call young
-- the beginnings of laugh lines and crows feet crackled subtly across her face like
the fraying of an oft-folded parchment map -- walked in and perched skittishly at the
edge of my settee. Her bum barely touching the crusty, dark-red corduroy, she softly
parted her lips and issued a sound, a sound that still haunts my carnal dreams.
"Vyrtok, will you help me?"
Now you might wonder -- I did -- was she real? I will tell you, that at that time
(time is a funny thing when on the salt, especially the azure and cerulean blend), my
determination was as turgid as the old oak out back that she was no figment or
illusion. The patterns I inscribed into Crabby's flaccid hair became my portrait of
her--not insignificant, dangerous--set of curves.
"Sir, they said you would help me?"
Her lip quivered like the strum of a cat-gut bowstring strung too tight, pulled, and
let loose with no missile to take its kinetic power. A sapphire of salty liquid
emerged from the corner of the crinkled paper near the corner of her eye and I fumbled
as it eluded my ministrations to swipe it from the soft silk of her lightly tanned
cheek. She was not a courtesan, nor a whore, she was a lady of means. I could tell by
the pocketbook bulging beneath her engageantes; the voluminous sleeve lace brushed
lightly against my thigh and the small hairs on the back of my neck extended.
"What do you want?!" Great Karn, I'm such a clod when on the deep blue stuff.
"Your help... sir?" The quiver appeared to become a sneer, an irritation of a tick-
bite in that uncomfortable space between the nethers.
"Sorry," I really was no good at ladies. Some, yes, those that took to the saddle like
me, the coarse, calloused skin a mirror to the soul of a hard metance out on the
fields of the Rirorni. But not the soft, succulent, city kind of lady--where the only
difficulty was avoiding the chamber-pot detritus on sewage Mondays.
She just stared, and I could tell her patience was waning, akin to my abuela once
she'd met her final resting place, tits pointed to the sky.
"I might if I know what."
"I fear it is a danger that affects us all, but only I, and maybe you, can see it."
And there it was. Just because I liked to chase the dragon didn't give me special
powers, it just let me cope. Cope with the dichotomy of my masquerade--a facade of
bestial rage and the hard corners of a rough-hewn limestone coffee table--and a deep
tenderness--the soft soul that took in Crabby and raised her on fermented goat's milk
until she could climb up my chiseled physique and rest against my wind-hardened neck
with her downy-soft forehead. It was the monkey's trill that brought my attention back
to the matter at hand.
"Name."
"Evadne."
"Miss..."
"No, just Evadne." I hated when people interrupted me, especially when I was about to
gift them a favor. I wondered if there were marks involved.
"Fine. Evadne then. What and where?" She was really starting to exasperate me, with a
request void of all detail, a vagueness much like the cosmic river, the sister to
Ashet Khirr (the Joining River that feeds Vesh Khel and Oren Khel and runs between the
twin salt lakes), during a clear night sky.
"I need you to follow... I can show you." I could tell she sensed my reluctance, and
that bow-string she called a pair of reddened lips quivered again. It was obviously a
ploy to work my calcified heart strings, and it was working.
I stood, joints creaking, back and neck cracking, like the morning puffed oats when I
poured mare's milk over them to break the fast. I grabbed my castor (the beaver fur
hat that was all the rage in Dullens at the time) and my crimson overcloak and left
The Ninth Seat's stable-house with the damsel strutting out front, hand clasped around
my cuff like a child might lead their pa to see their newly constructed vaudeville.
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
DULLENS DUELISTS
Issue the Second
Turn 806
by Hammer the WordSmith
In a duel of blades, wit is as sharp as steel --- Unknown
The wind swirled outside a particular Guild House, carrying a hand bill in its wake
that only stopped when it landed at the feet of the Veteran Manager who had stepped
outside for a breath of fresh air, at least as fresh as it could be within the
confines of the Dullens Arena Guild Houses.
The Veteran Manager reached down to pick up and read what the hand bill was
adverizing:
Whether for Gold or Glory
It May Be Your Story
To Claim the Bounty
For the Death(s) of a Yuppie
[TIME JUMP]
Hammer was impressed with some of the interesting developments from the DM 13 Dullens
Opening Round: There were 13 Deaths from Random Matches among 43 Teams; There were
Zero 5-0 or 0-5 Opening Round Team Records and Obregon scored the First Yuppie Kill
that was Not a result of Riff Raff sending a Yuppie to the Dark Arena!
[TIME JUMP]
Tallow had succeeded in drawing quite an assortment of Managers from all across
Alastari to compete in his Race for the Crown Contest in Dullens!
It was an impressive mixture of Wily Veteran Managers, plus returning Managers, who
were as eager as any Newcomers to make their presence known in Dullens!
Hammer scanned the list of declared Managers and nodded to himself as he recognized
some familiar names from long ago when the Veteran Manager was active in several
Alastari Arenas:
Manager, Master Darque, Tripwire, Mannequin, Gentle Ben, Khorvinus, Alfredo, Shocking
Toad, Deeders, The Dark One, Howlin Wolf, Philthy Phil, Khisanth, TMM, Pain aka Pain
Master, Den, Crambus, Dameon Darkheart, Riff Raff, One Armed Bandit and Neon
Necromancer among the 43 Competitors!
This was like Old Home Week at Dullens Arena!
[TIME JUMP]
Hammer pondered upon the Contest Categories to include for Resurrecting the DM 49
Vithicar Arena!
The Veteran Manager remembered some of the comments from such esteemed Managers as One
Armed Bandit and the Neon Necromancer regarding the number of Place Awards in recent
Contests!
He thoughtfully considered the comments of these and a few other Managers, before
deciding to expand the number of Place Awards for his upcoming Hammer-Hosted Contest
in the Vithicar Arena!
[DM 49 CONTEST EASTER EGG] Who will be the Victor of the Vithicar Vendetta? After 20
Rounds (beginning with the August 18, 2027 First Round on Turn 342) the Team with the
Most Accumulated Points is declared the Victor!
Scoring includes: 10 Points for an Intro Spot on Turn 342; 1 Point each Round for a
Personal Ad by the Team Manager (for a possible 20 Points); 1 Point per Win (includes
Dark Arena Wins!); Subtract 1 Point per each Loss (includes Dark Arena Losses!) and 1
Point per Kill (includes Dark Arena Kills!) Registration Fee is Two(2) Gift Certs!
Gift Certs Pool Prizes (from the Registration Fees, plus any added by Hammer) include
First Place: 50 per cent of the Gift Certs; Second Place: 20 per cent of the Gift
Certs; Third Place: 15 per cent of the Gift Certs; Fourth Place: 10 per cent of the
Gift Certs and Fifth Place: 5 per cent of the Gift Certs!
[TIME JUMP]
Tyger Shark and her Veteran Manager Hammer conferred together as the 5 Gladiators from
his Abattoir Dullens Stable resumed another day of intense practice, before the Second
Round of the Race for the Crown promised to begin separating the Contenders from the
Pretenders!
Hammer: Make Sure that Cheerful Dullens is Well Prepared to Survive the Blood Feud
that Khorvinus and his Khors Freebooters may be directing his way!
Tyger Shark: Hopefully he Survives and Learns Some Skills! I am trying to temper his
Confidence from his early win! He may need to Suffer some Lumps to take Survival
Seriously!
Hammer: What About Dullens Agonizer?
Tyger Shark: His Only Hope is to Continue Learning Skills!
Hammer: I have Some Concerns regarding Dreaming Dullens!
Tyger Shark: He Shows Promise! But Needs More Skills to Survive!
Hammer: What About Tranquil Dullens?
Tyger Shark: A Win is a Win! She Also Needs More Skills to Survive!
Hammer: What is Your Assessment regarding Dullens Screamer?
Tyger Shark: She is Fortunate to Be Alive! She May have the Knack to Survive! Also
Needs More Skills!
It was much too early to determine if these 5 Gladiators would be worth the time and
effort to invest in their process of Graduating, but Hammer was content to allow Tyger
Shark the opportunity to gain some much-needed experience in Training his Warriors in
Preparation for his Contest in Vithicar Arena!
May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper! --- Hammer, Minister of War
SPY REPORT
Greetings, warriors of DULLENS! Once again I've been called out of retirement
for my abilities and insights into Spyreporting. Bein' on top is great while it
lasts, SATAN'S KINGDOM. But how many friends do you have now? Who can explain it?
Not you, not me, not AXE GRINDERS' opponents, after watching them shoot up the ranks
from 35th to 2nd. You know what they say about the herd of lions who studied a
judge... ALFREDOVISION(TM) moved up 15 places, to 3rd. Who can explain it? Not
you, not me, not YUPPIE HOARD's opponents, after watching them shoot up the ranks
from 20th to 4th. You know what they say about the herd of lions who studied a
judge... YOU MUST BE BONKERS moved up 16 places, to 7th. Who can explain it? Not
you, not me, not HOWLIN SHARPENS' opponents, after watching them shoot up the ranks
from 26th to 10th. You know what they say about the herd of lions who studied a
judge... CROWNING BLUES moved up 18 places, to 15th. Who can explain it? Not you,
not me, not THE BILESTOAD's opponents, after watching them shoot up the ranks from
30th to 18th. Looking for a good fight, confident, skilled, tough opponents. Well
don't look at COUNTRY ROADS, cause they dropped by 18. You know what they say about
the herd of lions who studied a judge... THE STOOGES moved up 21 places, to 22nd.
Who can explain it? Not you, not me, not SQUARED CIRCLE's opponents, after watching
them shoot up the ranks from 41st to 27th. Ever take one of those association tests?
You know, he says black, you say white. Water-Lake, Sky-Blue. Try this: Flop.
AURIGA! KHORS FREEBOOTERS bit the big one as they could not win. They dropped from
10th down to 35th! Are you guy giving lessons or what? Ever take one of those
association tests? You know, he says black, you say white. Water-Lake, Sky-Blue.
Try this: Flop. MALICIOUS INTENT! Some people say I ramble too much, I don't say
anything relevant. I repeat myself. I ramble. Well BIG TROUBLE moved up 1, to 1st.
What's with FUR ELISE? He actually beat COUNTRY ROADS' HARMS WAY, and walked away
with 18 more points from the fight. Major screwup at AURIGA. MAHASIM lost 7 points
to EDGAR FROGG. Some new strategies, perhaps? Maybe MAHASIM will provide more easy
wins... TOODLES ENSLAVED! was reminded on the sands why STROPTOP is Duelmaster. I
suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?
Tough!
Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges... DULLENS thinks SUPERIOR
FORCES RFTC and their 5-5-0 is too much! If at first you don't succeed, give up...
In my day, no team with a 3-2-0 would scare me off! What's the problem, SUPERIOR
FORCES RFTC? How well I know the feeling of being the most challenged warrior,
TAPIOCA FLOUR! Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to haunt you. I hate
going to the effort of writing about the kind of fights that ELECTRIC SLIPPERS gets
in. He fights people like RASH, 10 points below. I thought ELECTRIC SLIPPERS showed
great skill and promise when he beat RASH. All right, so I slept through it! Big
deal!
There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit. Do you want the fighters
to walk away, or not? Someone told T'CHAKA that YOU MUST BE BONKERS never
Bloodfeuded, that he'd have an easy kill. Well, I'm sure whoever misled you is right
sorry. ART THE CLOWN was plum wore out after BUTCH BODYSNAPPER pounded 'im silly in
a Bloodfeud. MALICIOUS INTENT'll have to get a little better before going after
BUTCH BODYSNAPPER again! Is it my imagination, or are fighters getting younger every
day? To die so young, so gloriously!
Well, I'm pretty much through. You guys need to get back practicing. DULLENS
is a nice place to live, but I don't like to live in nice places. Remember--a good
fighter needs both good skills and good luck. Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
STROPTOP 6173 2 0 1 56 HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
TAPIOCA FLOUR 6067 2 0 1 28 GLUTEN FREE (679)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
LUNKHEAD 6018 2 0 1 23 NEON DULLARDS (669)
JACK BURTON 6132 2 0 0 23 BIG TROUBLE (692)
ASYLUM KNIGHT 6039 2 0 1 22 YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673)
GROUND ZERO 6172 2 0 0 22 HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
TWELPH 6113 2 0 0 22 KEEBLER TWELVES (688)
VYRTOK 6001 2 0 0 21 THE NINTH SEAT (666)
HER MAJESTY 6030 2 0 1 20 THE DULL EDGE (671)
CHEERFUL DULLENS 6091 2 0 1 20 ABATT0IR DULLENS (684)
HAGGARD 6032 2 0 0 20 ERRATA (672)
DAVID LO PAN 6133 2 0 0 20 BIG TROUBLE (692)
MUD PIE 6059 2 0 0 20 TURBO TEAM (677)
THE MISSING LYNX 6242 2 0 0 19 ARENA FELINES! (713)
AUTUMN WINDS 6038 2 0 0 19 YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673)
LILIANAOFTHEVEIL 6187 2 0 1 18 PLANESWALKERS (703)
DEMONIC DINGO 6168 2 0 1 18 SATAN'S KINGDOM (699)
BUTCH BODYSNAPPER 6209 2 0 0 18 AXE GRINDERS (707)
ARIC WOLFMARK 6000 2 0 0 18 OF WOLF & SAVAGE (665)
ELECTRIC SLIPPERS 6152 2 0 0 18 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696)
BEIL 6047 2 0 0 18 THE BILESTOAD (675)
RAKE 6138 2 0 0 18 LEGENDS OF MALAZAN (693)
MR YUCK 6207 2 0 0 18 AXE GRINDERS (707)
FUR ELISE 6260 1 0 1 18 THE BILESTOAD (675)
TWELF 6111 1 1 1 18 KEEBLER TWELVES (688)
PRINCE ALBERT HUNT 6099 1 1 0 18 CROWNING BLUES (685)
MEANY 6215 2 0 0 17 DECISIONS 2 (708)
ZOLOC XIPEC-SON 6052 2 0 0 17 SQUARED CIRCLE (676)
LARRY 6235 2 0 0 17 THE STOOGES (712)
EGG SHEN 6136 2 0 0 17 BIG TROUBLE (692)
MARK 6163 2 0 0 17 APOSTLES (698)
COLD FORGE 6028 2 0 0 17 THE DULL EDGE (671)
SOVRYK 6002 1 1 0 17 THE NINTH SEAT (666)
DADCULA 6006 1 1 0 17 HOCUS POCUS (667)
KALLOR 6255 1 0 0 17 LEGENDS OF MALAZAN (693)
KARNACA 6075 1 1 0 17 DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681)
SPACE JUNKIE 6156 2 0 1 16 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696)
KING COTTON 6097 2 0 0 16 CROWNING BLUES (685)
HRK'PRN'HRK 6051 1 1 1 16 SQUARED CIRCLE (676)
CLONE EASTWOOD 6129 2 0 0 15 DARQUE HOMONCULI (691)
TWELVIS 6112 2 0 0 15 KEEBLER TWELVES (688)
LOUIX XIII 6178 2 0 0 15 YUPPIE HOARD (701)
EENY 6213 1 1 0 15 DECISIONS 2 (708)
TRANQUIL DULLENS 6094 2 0 0 14 ABATT0IR DULLENS (684)
BIG SWINGING DOC 6154 2 0 0 14 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696)
YAMAKAZI 6177 2 0 0 14 YUPPIE HOARD (701)
FALKOR 6158 2 0 0 14 DRAGONS (697)
STAPHYLOCOCCUS 6064 2 0 0 14 SUPERIOR FORCES RFTC (678)
MYSTERY JUDGE 6057 2 0 0 14 TURBO TEAM (677)
DEATHWING 6244 1 0 0 14 DRAGONS (697)
SANYER 6101 1 1 0 13 SHAMAN SISTERS (686)
MUFASA 6035 1 1 0 13 ERRATA (672)
BRAZEN BACON 6193 1 1 0 13 WASTELAND 13 (704)
GRAYSKULL 6033 1 1 1 12 ERRATA (672)
GENE SIMMONS 6248 1 0 1 12 AXE GRINDERS (707)
SAMIR'S FOLLY 6036 1 1 0 12 YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673)
ELWOOD SISK 6149 1 1 0 12 BIG LAKE CROWN (695)
PAUL 6164 1 1 0 12 APOSTLES (698)
TOD 6049 1 1 0 12 THE BILESTOAD (675)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
DUKE TUMATOE 6100 1 1 0 12 CROWNING BLUES (685)
SARAZ 6105 1 1 0 12 SHAMAN SISTERS (686)
MS. ASSEMBLED 6131 1 1 0 12 DARQUE HOMONCULI (691)
CURLY 6237 1 1 0 12 THE STOOGES (712)
EDGAR FROGG 6208 1 1 0 12 AXE GRINDERS (707)
MISFILED 6176 1 1 0 12 HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
GRAIN KING 6055 1 1 0 12 YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673)
EVIL ELEPHANT 6171 2 0 1 11 SATAN'S KINGDOM (699)
PRESTON JINX 6147 2 0 1 11 BIG LAKE CROWN (695)
PSEUDOMONAS 6063 2 0 0 11 SUPERIOR FORCES RFTC (678)
OKO CROWN THIEF 6191 2 0 0 11 PLANESWALKERS (703)
PRETTY LIL WITCH 6010 2 0 0 11 HOCUS POCUS (667)
PUNISHING PERSIAN 6240 2 0 0 11 ARENA FELINES! (713)
TOOTHACHE RIDGE 6072 2 0 0 11 COUNTRY ROADS (680)
UGLY DEAN 6195 1 1 1 11 WASTELAND 13 (704)
-AXIDENT PENDING 6228 1 0 1 11 FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711)
MOE 6234 1 1 0 11 THE STOOGES (712)
AMBESSA 6203 1 1 0 11 LEGENDS OF PAIN (706)
TC TUGGER 6060 1 1 0 11 TURBO TEAM (677)
KING BISCUIT BOY 6098 1 1 0 11 CROWNING BLUES (685)
BUMBBELL 6252 1 0 0 11 NEON DULLARDS (669)
DOLLY PARTIN' 6130 1 1 0 11 DARQUE HOMONCULI (691)
YENSO KESHO 6050 1 1 0 11 SQUARED CIRCLE (676)
MIDNIGHT MANIAC 6210 1 1 0 11 AXE GRINDERS (707)
TEVEL 6022 1 1 0 10 AURIGA (670)
-HOT AND SOUR 6146 1 0 0 10 SOUP DU JOUR (694)
-GLASS CANON 6232 1 0 0 10 FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711)
-BELT-LOOP BART 6087 1 0 0 10 KHORS FREEBOOTERS (683)
-GLOOMSHAYDE GAIL 6089 1 0 0 10 KHORS FREEBOOTERS (683)
-EGG DROP 6143 1 0 0 10 SOUP DU JOUR (694)
-YIN 6123 1 0 0 10 TWILIGHT (690)
PATEK PHILIPPE 6250 1 0 0 9 YUPPIE HOARD (701)
ARKENSTONE 6251 1 0 0 9 YUPPIE HOARD (701)
-CREUSS 6121 1 0 0 8 TWILIGHT (690)
TESTAMENT 6200 1 1 1 7 BANDS I LIKE (705)
ELSPETHSTORMSLAYER 6190 1 1 0 7 PLANESWALKERS (703)
ATTILA 6225 1 1 0 7 SAGE SOLDIERS 101 (710)
HARDEN EDGE 6148 1 1 0 7 BIG LAKE CROWN (695)
NAPOLEON 6224 1 1 0 7 SAGE SOLDIERS 101 (710)
YEDEN 6140 1 1 0 7 LEGENDS OF MALAZAN (693)
GRACIE LAW 6134 1 1 0 7 BIG TROUBLE (692)
SAND CRAPPER 6238 1 1 0 7 ARENA FELINES! (713)
WHET WHISTLE 6174 1 1 0 7 HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
ART THE CLOWN 6043 1 1 1 6 MALICIOUS INTENT (674)
-FRENCH ONION 6145 1 0 0 6 SOUP DU JOUR (694)
-SPICY TONKOTSU 6142 1 0 0 6 SOUP DU JOUR (694)
DORRIN GRIMMAW 5998 1 1 0 6 OF WOLF & SAVAGE (665)
JOE 6236 1 1 0 6 THE STOOGES (712)
POSSUM TROT 6074 1 1 0 6 COUNTRY ROADS (680)
ZULSEET 6262 1 0 0 6 OF WOLF & SAVAGE (665)
SKORYX 6003 1 1 0 6 THE NINTH SEAT (666)
BIG SOFTWARM HUG 6249 1 0 0 6 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696)
WANG CHI 6135 1 1 1 5 BIG TROUBLE (692)
T'CHAKA 6034 1 1 1 5 ERRATA (672)
JACK TORRANCE 6044 1 1 1 5 MALICIOUS INTENT (674)
EBURONIA 6025 1 1 1 5 AURIGA (670)
-NAALU 6124 1 0 0 5 TWILIGHT (690)
-NEKTO 6125 1 0 0 5 TWILIGHT (690)
DEAF LEOPARD 6239 1 1 0 4 ARENA FELINES! (713)
PRODIGAL BLADE 6029 1 1 0 4 THE DULL EDGE (671)
LORDAMERCY 6071 1 1 0 4 COUNTRY ROADS (680)
LUKE 6165 1 1 0 4 APOSTLES (698)
VASCO 6084 1 1 0 4 DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
VI 6202 1 1 0 4 LEGENDS OF PAIN (706)
MAHASIM 6021 1 1 0 4 AURIGA (670)
MOE 6214 1 1 0 4 DECISIONS 2 (708)
DALE PUCK 6150 1 1 0 4 BIG LAKE CROWN (695)
HANNIBAL 6223 1 1 0 4 SAGE SOLDIERS 101 (710)
KARL HAVOC 6056 1 1 0 4 TURBO TEAM (677)
DUKE LUCA 6076 1 1 0 4 DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681)
TALVREK 6004 1 1 0 4 THE NINTH SEAT (666)
BEACON ULRIK 6151 1 1 0 4 BIG LAKE CROWN (695)
ACINETOBACTER 6062 1 1 0 4 SUPERIOR FORCES RFTC (678)
CASSIUS 6226 1 1 0 4 SAGE SOLDIERS 101 (710)
CANTANKEROUS CAMEL 6169 1 1 0 4 SATAN'S KINGDOM (699)
DATAMOST 6045 1 1 0 4 THE BILESTOAD (675)
NICE ZOMBIE 6007 1 1 0 4 HOCUS POCUS (667)
HIGH-HAT HIPPO 6194 1 1 0 4 WASTELAND 13 (704)
BLOODTHIRSTY BULL 6170 1 1 0 4 SATAN'S KINGDOM (699)
DUNCECAP 6020 1 1 0 4 NEON DULLARDS (669)
OCHO 6104 1 1 0 4 SHAMAN SISTERS (686)
PRINCESS WHITE 6096 1 1 0 4 CROWNING BLUES (685)
FLINT LOCK PHILLIP 6090 1 1 0 4 KHORS FREEBOOTERS (683)
12 6114 1 1 0 4 KEEBLER TWELVES (688)
DNANGEL 6128 1 1 0 4 DARQUE HOMONCULI (691)
TRULL 6141 1 1 0 4 LEGENDS OF MALAZAN (693)
JOFFER 6031 1 1 0 4 ERRATA (672)
PRETTY ICING 6196 1 1 0 4 WASTELAND 13 (704)
DELGIA O'KHRA 6054 0 2 0 2 SQUARED CIRCLE (676)
UGIN THE INEFFABLE 6189 0 2 0 2 PLANESWALKERS (703)
MANIC MUSKOX 6167 0 2 0 2 SATAN'S KINGDOM (699)
MEL 6205 0 2 0 2 LEGENDS OF PAIN (706)
NOT BREAD 6068 0 2 0 2 GLUTEN FREE (679)
HONEST ABE 6175 0 2 0 2 HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
BROCKBURN 6085 0 2 0 2 DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681)
DULLENS AGONIZER 6092 0 2 0 2 ABATT0IR DULLENS (684)
DR. FRANKENFINE 6127 0 2 0 2 DARQUE HOMONCULI (691)
SHADOWFUR 5997 0 2 0 2 OF WOLF & SAVAGE (665)
ATTANO 6077 0 2 0 2 DUREX CROWN KILLERS (681)
FAMILY THIRST 6192 0 2 0 2 WASTELAND 13 (704)
LILLIA 6206 0 2 0 2 LEGENDS OF PAIN (706)
DREAMING DULLENS 6095 0 2 0 2 ABATT0IR DULLENS (684)
KLEBSIELLA 6061 0 2 0 2 SUPERIOR FORCES RFTC (678)
JOHN 6166 0 2 0 2 APOSTLES (698)
TURKEY SCRATCH 6073 0 2 0 2 COUNTRY ROADS (680)
SHIRT BROTHER 6058 0 2 0 2 TURBO TEAM (677)
FIORA 6204 0 2 0 2 LEGENDS OF PAIN (706)
HANS GRUBER 6041 0 2 0 2 MALICIOUS INTENT (674)
MANGROVE 6046 0 2 0 2 THE BILESTOAD (675)
ALARA 6103 0 2 0 2 SHAMAN SISTERS (686)
ALEF 6023 0 2 0 2 AURIGA (670)
SGT. BARNES 6042 0 2 0 2 MALICIOUS INTENT (674)
METALLICA 6198 0 2 0 2 BANDS I LIKE (705)
PANTERA 6197 0 2 0 2 BANDS I LIKE (705)
DWELLVIN THE 12TH 6115 0 2 0 2 KEEBLER TWELVES (688)
FUZZY BUTT 6241 0 2 0 2 ARENA FELINES! (713)
MORRI 6102 0 2 0 2 SHAMAN SISTERS (686)
DULLENS SCREAMER 6093 0 2 0 2 ABATT0IR DULLENS (684)
LITTLE LEAGUER 6009 0 2 0 2 HOCUS POCUS (667)
MINEY 6216 0 2 0 2 DECISIONS 2 (708)
CIVIL EDGE 6026 0 2 0 2 THE DULL EDGE (671)
CHICKNWAFFLES 6083 0 2 0 2 GLUTEN FREE (679)
RASH 6069 0 2 0 2 GLUTEN FREE (679)
COL. MORTIMER 6040 0 2 0 2 MALICIOUS INTENT (674)
MASTER 6008 0 2 0 2 HOCUS POCUS (667)
RICE AND BEANS 6066 0 2 0 2 GLUTEN FREE (679)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BLOCKHEAD 6016 0 2 0 2 NEON DULLARDS (669)
SHEMP 6233 0 2 0 2 THE STOOGES (712)
CATCHA 6212 0 2 0 2 DECISIONS 2 (708)
HASAN CHOP! 6243 0 1 0 1 ALFREDOVISION(TM) (696)
GARY 6246 0 1 0 1 DRAGONS (697)
SMAUG 6245 0 1 0 1 DRAGONS (697)
-WRECKON U DIE 6231 0 1 0 1 FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711)
-MUAAT 6126 0 1 0 1 TWILIGHT (690)
MADCAP 6261 0 1 0 1 YOU MUST BE BONKERS (673)
-LOOKMA,NOLIFE 6227 0 1 0 1 FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711)
-LOBSTER BISQUE 6144 0 1 0 1 SOUP DU JOUR (694)
-FAST N' FATAL 6230 0 1 0 1 FINAL WRECKONING 2 (711)
BRITNY FOX 6258 0 1 0 1 BANDS I LIKE (705)
DROGON 6247 0 1 0 1 DRAGONS (697)
FRITZ 6256 0 1 0 1 SQUARED CIRCLE (676)
-BLACK-SPOT CLANCY 6086 0 1 0 1 KHORS FREEBOOTERS (683)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
POINT OF THE MAT 6153 0 1 0 ALFREDOVISION(TM 696 EVIL ELEPHANT 6171 805
MATTHEW 6162 0 2 0 APOSTLES 698 SPACE JUNKIE 6156 806
PEITRUSS 6024 1 1 0 AURIGA 670 TAPIOCA FLOUR 6067 806
BETTY BLOWTORCH 6211 0 1 0 AXE GRINDERS 707 ART THE CLOWN 6043 805 JUST REVENGED
DIAMONDHEAD 6199 0 1 0 BANDS I LIKE 705 DEMONIC DINGO 6168 805
SLAYER 6201 0 1 0 BANDS I LIKE 705 WANG CHI 6135 805
TIMBERLAKE 6257 0 1 0 BANDS I LIKE 705 SALT GOLEM 806 NONE
HARMS WAY 6070 1 1 0 COUNTRY ROADS 680 FUR ELISE 6260 806
SMOG 6159 0 1 0 DRAGONS 697 JACK TORRANCE 6044 805
SIMYAN SHADOWSAI 6088 0 1 0 KHORS FREEBOOTER 683 CHEERFUL DULLENS 6091 805
TESS BLACK-HEART 6254 0 1 0 KHORS FREEBOOTER 683 GRAYSKULL 6033 806
KARSA 6137 1 1 0 LEGENDS OF MALAZ 693 LUNKHEAD 6018 806
AIRHEAD 6017 0 1 0 NEON DULLARDS 669 PRESTON JINX 6147 805
DARK DULLARD 1 6253 0 1 0 NEON DULLARDS 669 NOMADIC HORSE LO 806 NONE
FENRA DARHOWL 5999 1 1 0 OF WOLF & SAVAGE 665 LILIANAOFTHEVEIL 6187 806
ULRIC SAVAGE 5996 0 1 0 OF WOLF & SAVAGE 665 TESTAMENT 6200 805
WRENN AND SIX 6188 1 1 0 PLANESWALKERS 703 TWELF 6111 806
WILLIAM 6222 1 1 0 SAGE SOLDIERS 10 710 HRK'PRN'HRK 6051 806
LARK TAL FANG 6053 0 1 0 SQUARED CIRCLE 676 EBURONIA 6025 805
DA12 6259 0 1 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 678 UNDEAD POTATO LO 806 NONE
MYCOBACTERIUM 6065 0 1 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 678 AXIDENT PENDING 6228 805
EARTHSHOE 6048 0 1 0 THE BILESTOAD 675 ASYLUM KNIGHT 6039 805
HEW 6027 0 2 0 THE DULL EDGE 671 ARENAMASTER TYKO 806 NONE
DRAKHAR 6005 1 1 0 THE NINTH SEAT 666 GENE SIMMONS 6248 806
NIANIA 6037 0 1 0 YOU MUST BE BONK 673 T'CHAKA 6034 805 JUST REVENGED
DICTADOR 6179 1 1 0 YUPPIE HOARD 701 UGLY DEAN 6195 806
PAPPY VAN WINKLE 6180 0 1 0 YUPPIE HOARD 701 HER MAJESTY 6030 805
PERSONAL ADS
Gladiator Commission -- Please Post an Official Listing of All Stables and Managers in
case a Manager has slipped through the cracks! Thank You! -- Hammer, mgr of Abbatoir
Dullens
Den -- All I heard from you was more blah blah blah same as it ever was. Challenge
away brother, the black flame candle's power is not yet spent so don't be surprised if
you get burned -- Gentleben
Hammer -- Wits will be matched and blades will be crossed! Beware sir, The Ninth Seat
is ready! (P.S. I am looking forward to your 49 contest next year!) -- Tallow
Neon -- Looks like you got your wish, 21 freshly dead just for you. -- Tallow
Den -- Are you insulting your own alliance? I mean I know you aren't referring to me,
being from south of the big ole 8! Anyways, I guarantee everyone I did not pay Den or
the Allied Axis a dime. I knew they'd come sniveling around trying to gain some
reputation off the backs of their betters. -- Tallow
Twilight -- The Ninth Seat welcomes you and your manager to Race for the Crown. (P.S.
Please let me know who you are, so that I know who to contact should you win any
prizes.) -- Tallow
Arena Felines -- Many folks on Chatzy are telling me that your manager is Garfield.
Please verify so that I can contact the orange menace should you all manage to win any
prizes. -- Tallow
Civil Edge -- Nice try, but you are no Horse's Salt. -- Drakhar
Mangrove -- The speed at which you move is almost eponymous for the slowness by which
you exhibit tree-like quickness. Next turn, I'm willing to share. -- Vyrtok
Hans Gruber -- Not how I would have typically figured that matchup would have gone,
but I'm glad to test my mettle against one such as yourself, as you slowly
defenestrate. -- Talvrek
Luke -- My dear, the salt of a thousand horses sits within your veins. Or perhaps that
was the Force that helped you. Next time, you'll need it! -- Skoryx
Autumn Winds -- I felt depleted; my salt was running low. Next time, I'll be better
prepared. -- Sovryk
Testament -- Vengeance of the clan will be terrible to behold. You killed our Shaman
and the spirits need payment in blood -- Fenra Darhowl
Sand Crapper -- Fear not human, you have fallen this day by a superior warrior. Look
elsewhere for your opponents. -- Aric Wolfmark
Testament -- I come for you -- Aric Wolfmark
Space Junkie -- ... -- Shadowfur
Space Junkie -- My sister speaks not, she has no tongue. She says she will see you
again soon -- Dorrin Grimmaw
Dwellvin the 12th -- Naked and with a club. You fight like an orc! Be Proud! --
Dorrin Grimmaw.
Shirt Brother -- The armor of you humans is thick! Not thick enough - Fenra Darhowl
DRAKHAR -- Counsel's argument was crude, repetitive, and regrettably persuasive. I
reserve the right to appeal. -- CIVIL EDGE
DAVID LO PAN -- are you man or spirit? I know not, for I go to my grave anon …
fare thee well! -- HEW, on his way to a night fight
DULLENS SCREAMER -- Your weapon showed promise, Screamer. The material holding it,
less so. -- COLD FORGE
SARAZ -- I hope you enjoyed your moment, before you were bettered by your better.
Learn what you can. -- PRODIGAL BLADE
PAPPY VAN WINKLE -- You dared strike at the Crown and were in turn struck in the head.
There is a pleasing symmetry to these things. Ponder this in Elysium. -- HER MAJESTY
The Dullens branch of the Circle Armory will be opening shortly. Come marvel at the
precision workmanship and exotic materials brought by your neighbors from across the
Trier Sea! Please contact Delgia for demonstrations or me if you actually want to do
some business. -- Jed
We also sell NOODLES! -- Yenso Kesho
No, we do not. Ignore him. -- Delgia o'Khra
Napoleon -- A worthy first battle! Next time, move your leg. -- Zoloc Xipec-son
Obregon -- DUDE! You must chill! -- Ghost of Pappy Van Winkle
Little Leaguer -- Not your fault: I was a star in Pony league. -- Yamakazi
Ambessa -- Didn't realize "Legends of Pain" meant you could take such a beating
without complaint. Makes sense now. -- Dictador
Duke Tumatoe -- "Pompous and overrated" seems about right. -- Louis XIII
Dullens, take note: Dragons went 1-4, with four corpses. Three were mine to condemn;
Smog required assistance. Better they die now than waste my time later. Their
replacements are exceptional. The Race for the Crown has begun. Enjoy your early lead.
You're going to need it. -- Shocking Toad
This is Jack Burton and I'm talking to whoever's listening out there! Like I told my
last wife, I said, "Honey, I never fight faster than I can see. Besides that... it's
all in the reflexes."
John -- Now you just listen to ol' Jack Burton. If you find yourself on a cool,
overcast morning, standing in the arena with a blade in your hand and a fellow across
the sand grinning like he's already won... don't let it trouble you none.
Slayer -- Now when they talk about paying your dues, the bill came and you paid it
with honor. Too bad you didn't pay the apothecary.
Staphyloco -- It's none of ol' Jack's business how you fight but maybe open up with
that desperation strategy.
Smog -- Just as in the novel, Smog dies. You get nothing! Heeere's Johnny!! -- Chad
One turn, the AA has more kills than some of you have wins. The Tea Bags are lacking
water to brew. -- Chad
Crambus -- Time to schedule an eye appointment, no kills? Get onit, Deeders has
tombstones waiting to engrave. -- Chad
Dullens Duelers -- Time to begin separating the Contenders from the Pretenders! --
Hammer, mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister of War
Simyan Shadowsail -- Rest in Peace! You Died in the Infirmary! Salute! -- Cheerful
Dullens
P.S. I await the Blood Feud from the Khors Freebooters!
Ground Zero -- Your Victory! Thanks for the Skills! Salute! -- Dullens Agonizer
Cold Forge -- I Survived Your Victory! Thanks for the Skills! Salute! -- Dullens
Screamer
Misfiled -- Thanks for My Victory Dance! Salute! -- Tranquil Dullens
Peitruss -- Your Win! I Did Not Die! Salute! -- Dreaming Dullens
Tallow -- Congrats on Gathering 43 Competitors for the Race for the Crown! -- Hammer,
mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister of War
P.S. You Survived the Writer Cramps from Typing the Spots and Personals!
Neon Necromancer -- You had the Same Number of Dead Gladiators as Riff Raff and his
Yuppies! -- Hammer, mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister of War
PS: Plenty of Corpses for Your Future Endeavors!
Den the Dunce -- I See You Still Dabble with Your Childish Gibberish that is Laced
with Misinformation! -- Hammer, mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister
of War
Obregon -- Congrats on the First Yuppie Kill This Side of the Dark Arena! -- Hammer,
mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister of War
Stroptop -- Congrats on Attaining the Dullens Throne via Your Dark Arena Victory! --
Hammer, mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister of War
Shocking Toad -- 3 of Your Dragons Died in the Dark Arena! Another Died on the Dullens
Arena Sands! Time Will Tell If the Replacements are Worth Your Big Troubles in
Dullens! -- Hammer, mgr of Abattoir Dullens, Scarlet Abattoir and Minister of War
Dullens Spot Writers -- Thanks for the Entertaining Reads! -- Hammer the WordSmith
P.S. Looking Forward to More Entertaining Reads!
All -- Will someone stop Stroptop? I don't know about the rest of you, but I gave it a
shot. I regret nothing. -- Pauly
All -- I will write a spotlight at some point. I just keep missing the point. -- Pauly
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
HEW was butchered by ARENAMASTER TYKOR in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
TIMBERLAKE was barely slain by SALT GOLEM in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
DA12 was murdered by UNDEAD POTATO LORD in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DARK DULLARD 1 was dispatched by NOMADIC HORSE LORD in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
FLINT LOCK PHILLIP was overpowered by CHEERFUL DULLENS in a 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
ASYLUM KNIGHT devastated T'CHAKA in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud brawl.
BLOCKHEAD was savagely defeated by PRESTON JINX in a 1 minute Bloodfeud struggle.
TESTAMENT was viciously subdued by DEMONIC DINGO in a 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
BUTCH BODYSNAPPER won victory over ART THE CLOWN in a 1 minute Bloodfeud duel.
YEDEN won victory over MEL in a 2 minute novice's Challenge duel.
DELGIA O'KHRA was defeated by NAPOLEON in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge match.
HRK'PRN'HRK assassinated WILLIAM in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge match.
HARDEN EDGE viciously subdued MASTER in a 1 minute brutal novice's Challenge contest.
ELECTRIC SLIPPERS devastated RASH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
BIG SWINGING DOC viciously subdued MINEY in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
SPACE JUNKIE butchered MATTHEW in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
GROUND ZERO overpowered JACK TORRANCE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
SHIRT BROTHER was devastated by HER MAJESTY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
GRACIE LAW savagely defeated ATTANO in a 1 minute novice's Challenge match.
CIVIL EDGE was devastated by SARAZ in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
RICE AND BEANS lost to PRETTY LIL WITCH in a 1 minute novice's Challenge match.
PEITRUSS was easily killed by TAPIOCA FLOUR in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
YAMAKAZI bested KLEBSIELLA in a 1 minute novice's Challenge bout.
LOUIX XIII overpowered FIORA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
MAHASIM was beaten by EDGAR FROGG in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
HANS GRUBER was overpowered by TOOTHACHE RIDGE in a 5 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
COL. MORTIMER was vanquished by MYSTERY JUDGE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
MOE was handily defeated by SOVRYK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
EENY overpowered CASSIUS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge competition.
MIDNIGHT MANIAC overpowered DULLENS SCREAMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
NOT BREAD lost to OKO CROWN THIEF in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fray.
VYRTOK overpowered NICE ZOMBIE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
CHICKNWAFFLES was overpowered by AMBESSA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SKORYX beat FUZZY BUTT in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fray.
HIGH-HAT HIPPO was devastated by JACK BURTON in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BRAZEN BACON subdued TRULL in a exciting 1 minute amateur's Challenge match.
FAMILY THIRST was overcome by TRANQUIL DULLENS in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fight.
ELSPETHSTORMSLAYER narrowly defeated DULLENS AGONIZER in a 2 minute conflict.
UGIN THE INEFFABLE was overpowered by DOLLY PARTIN' in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
WRENN AND SIX was executed by TWELF in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
LILIANAOFTHEVEIL easily killed FENRA DARHOWL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
LARRY overpowered DNANGEL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
DICTADOR was viciously butchered by UGLY DEAN in a 2 minute Challenge struggle.
DUNCECAP was vanquished by AUTUMN WINDS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
STROPTOP devastated TOODLES ENSLAVED! in a 1 minute mismatched Title match.
MANGROVE was handily defeated by KING COTTON in a 1 minute brutal one-sided conflict.
BEIL overpowered METALLICA in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
TOD vanquished ALEF in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
YENSO KESHO overpowered SMAUG in a 3 minute uneven competition.
DATAMOST was demolished by KALLOR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ZOLOC XIPEC-SON beat POSSUM TROT in a 1 minute gory novice's battle.
GRAIN KING luckily beat ACINETOBACTER in a 1 minute amateur's conflict.
KARL HAVOC was overcome by MS. ASSEMBLED in a 1 minute amateur's match.
MUD PIE demolished HANNIBAL in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
TC TUGGER overpowered BRITNY FOX in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
PSEUDOMONAS savagely defeated SHEMP in a 7 minute gory amateur's contest.
STAPHYLOCOCCUS overpowered MADCAP in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
SGT. BARNES was overpowered by TWELVIS in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
HARMS WAY was easily killed by FUR ELISE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
LORDAMERCY was overpowered by DAVID LO PAN in a 1 minute uneven fight.
TURKEY SCRATCH was demolished by PAUL in a 1 minute bloody one-sided conflict.
KARNACA overpowered CANTANKEROUS CAMEL in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
DUKE LUCA was savagely defeated by MUFASA in a action packed 2 minute novice's brawl.
SAMIR'S FOLLY savagely defeated BEACON ULRIK in a popular 3 minute novice's fight.
VASCO was unbelievably bested by PUNISHING PERSIAN in a 3 minute novice's match.
BROCKBURN was defeated by ZULSEET in a exciting 1 minute amateur's fight.
DREAMING DULLENS lost to WHET WHISTLE in a exciting 1 minute novice's contest.
PRINCESS WHITE was demolished by DADCULA in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
KING BISCUIT BOY overpowered DWELLVIN THE 12TH in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
PRINCE ALBERT HUNT vanquished WANG CHI in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
DUKE TUMATOE demolished LILLIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven match.
SANYER savagely defeated 12 in a action packed 1 minute gruesome novice's fight.
MORRI was demolished by ARIC WOLFMARK in a 1 minute uneven conflict.
ALARA was subdued by FALKOR in a popular 1 minute novice's duel.
OCHO was handily defeated by THE MISSING LYNX in a 1 minute uneven match.
TWELPH handily defeated EBURONIA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DR. FRANKENFINE was overpowered by MEANY in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
CLONE EASTWOOD bested PRODIGAL BLADE in a popular 4 minute gruesome novice's match.
EGG SHEN overpowered TALVREK in a 1 minute uneven match.
KARSA was murdered by LUNKHEAD in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided contest.
RAKE vanquished JOHN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
GRAYSKULL slaughtered TESS BLACK-HEART in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
HAGGARD vanquished BLOODTHIRSTY BULL in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
ELWOOD SISK savagely defeated PRETTY ICING in a popular 3 minute gory novice's brawl.
DALE PUCK was savagely defeated by MISFILED in a 5 minute gory beginner's competition.
JOFFER was overpowered by DEATHWING in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MARK demolished DROGON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
LUKE was bested by ARKENSTONE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute beginner's bout.
MANIC MUSKOX was unbelievably bested by BIG SOFTWARM HUG in a 5 minute fight.
EVIL ELEPHANT beat CATCHA in a 2 minute bloody amateur's fight.
COLD FORGE subdued DORRIN GRIMMAW in a 2 minute novice's duel.
HONEST ABE was viciously subdued by PATEK PHILIPPE in a 3 minute beginner's duel.
TEVEL narrowly defeated VI in a 2 minute beginner's match.
LITTLE LEAGUER was overpowered by BUMBBELL in a 1 minute uneven duel.
DRAKHAR was put to death by GENE SIMMONS in a 2 minute amateur's fight.
PANTERA was handily defeated by MR YUCK in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
SHADOWFUR was viciously subdued by ATTILA in a 2 minute gruesome amateur's bout.
MOE handily defeated FRITZ in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
JOE defeated HASAN CHOP! in a 2 minute bloody novice's bout.
CURLY luckily beat DEAF LEOPARD in a action packed 4 minute gruesome amateur's fray.
SAND CRAPPER unbelievably bested GARY in a 2 minute beginner's match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK 65 AIMED BLOW 22 - 11 - 2 67 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 50 STRIKING ATTACK 74 - 64 - 7 54 |
|BASHING ATTACK 21 LUNGING ATTACK 56 - 51 - 4 52 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 19 TOTAL PARRY 12 - 11 - 0 52 |
|TOTAL PARRY 11 BASHING ATTACK 25 - 27 - 7 48 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 9 WALL OF STEEL 6 - 8 - 0 43 |
|WALL OF STEEL 8 SLASHING ATTACK 20 - 27 - 3 43 |
|AIMED BLOW 7 PARRY-STRIKE 8 - 11 - 1 42 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 10 - 0 9 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 5 - 0 0 |
Turn 806 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 5 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 9 - 12 5 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 7 - 4 SLASHING ATTACK 8 - 11 2 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 5 - 3 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 6 1 AIMED BLOW
LUNGING ATTACK 27 - 23 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 33 - 32 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 5 1 BASHING ATTACK
1 PARRY-STRIKE
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
AIMED BLOW STROPTOP 6173 2 0 1 56 HOWLIN SHARPENS (700)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is MEANY 6215. The most popular warrior this turn was
DEAF LEOPARD 6239. The ten other most popular fighters were SAMIR'S FOLLY 6036,
PRODIGAL BLADE 6029, PATEK PHILIPPE 6250, MUFASA 6035, VASCO 6084, CLONE EASTWOOD
6129, ELWOOD SISK 6149, MANIC MUSKOX 6167, LUKE 6165, and MEL 6205.
The least popular fighter this week was TOOTHACHE RIDGE 6072. The other ten least
popular fighters were SHEMP 6233, FRITZ 6256, PANTERA 6197, GENE SIMMONS 6248,
DRAKHAR 6005, LITTLE LEAGUER 6009, CATCHA 6212, BIG SOFTWARM HUG 6249, DROGON 6247,
and JOFFER 6031.
NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)
For those of you who keep track of such things, a few additional warriors graduated
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.
HEADBUTTS BASEBALLS (73-1807) THINGS GEORGE DOES (183)
RED BIRD (85-45165) SPREAD THE RED (8222)
WRESTED NUDIST (85-45330) W.S. ANAGRAMS 2 (8255)
LADY O' THE LAKE (86-30287) THRONEHOLDERS (5559)
Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes