Joined: Aug 26, 2003
Location: Rocanis, Alastari
Sat Sep 24, 2016 11:40 am
“Grimwood still won’t let us enter Mylar’s Tavern until we’ve won five, now four more fights and repaid Mylar for the damage,” the Mytori Priest said.
“I know, I know. That’s why we aren’t going there. Follow me,” Harbinger replied.
The two Rirorni made their way through the merchants selling goods. Mouthwatering aromas wafted from a nearby building. They headed toward the area where the tavern was located.
A painted sign reading The Wanton Troll was hanging in front of a fairly nondescript building. The sign decorated with an illustration of a burnt orange female troll's head swung slightly in the evening breeze. They watched two Rocani men heading toward the entrance.
A large, orange-skinned female troll rushed out to greet them. The creature was at least six and a half feet tall with long black coarse hair and a bosom that any man would yearn for, except that it was on a particularly hideous troll. The troll grabbed the nearest man in a bear hug, pinning his head between her breasts.
"Beulah, let him go before you smother him," stammered the other Rocani.
"What's the passwoid?" Beulah asked in a gruff accent, while continuing to embrace the first man, swinging his almost limp body back and forth like a doll hugged by a child.
"Uh, I want to pat your uh, fanny," stammered the second Rocani. "Yeah, that's it."
Beulah released her grip. The trapped Rocani wobbled, gasping for breath, when Beulah placed him back on his feet. Beulah turned around and bent over, sticking out her derriere as far as she could. Each Rocani patted Beulah's behind, then entered the bar. A snippet of laughter, music, and the aroma of food escaped as the door opened, then closed.
After witnessing the unusual spectacle, the Mytori Priest and Harbinger turned to each other with a shrug.
"What do you think?" asked Harbinger.
The Mytori Priest folded his arms, studying the scene. "Sure, let's go in. We know the password, the food smells good and, besides, I could use a drink after my exhausting bout with that total parry scum, DA1."
When the two walked up two wooden stairs to the front porch of the Wanton Troll, Beulah rushed Harbinger.
Ready for the encounter, Harbinger began, "I want to--" She dodged the grasp of the charging troll.
"Darling, come to Beulah."
The Mytori Priest distracted the attention of the overzealous troll, who scooped up the gladiator without difficulty.
The harder the Mytori Priest flailed, the tighter Beulah's grasp became, so he opened his mouth and bit hard into the side of the troll's breast.
Harbinger charged at the troll's back. She punched, but due to the troll's height, she struck her square in the rump. The force barely caused her flab to ripple, but it did succeed in grabbing Beulah's attention.
Turning back toward Harbinger, Beulah said, "My cute little darling. What's the passwoid?"
Harbinger replied confidently, "I want to pat your hiney."
A confused expression spread over the troll's face. "Not the passwoid," she said.
"Yes it is."
"Noooo, not the passwoid." Beulah shook her head, her woolly hair whipping across her face as the Mytori Priest continued to flail helplessly.
Damn it, thought Harbinger, what had they said? She knew the first part was right. Maybe "hiney" was wrong. Tooter? Bum? Rump? Fanny? Yes.
"I want to pat your fanny," said Harbinger bellowing desperately. "I want to pat your fanny."
Beulah abruptly released the Mytori Priest from her grip. Harbinger rushed to steady her friend.
"Are you okay?" Harbinger asked.
The Mytori Priest's eyes rolled for a moment. He lurched away from her grasp, perhaps thinking Beulah still had him trapped, and crashed into the tavern's wall.
"Hey, hey, hey." Harbinger scrambled after the dazed Rirorni.
The Mytori Priest took a couple gasping breaths. "I just need a minute for the dizziness to wear off." He continued to draw deep breaths.
Harbinger gave him a couple of reassuring pats. Finally, the Mytori Priest braced his hand on one knee and rose to his feet, accepting help from Harbinger.
The two gladiators turned to Beulah, who had already assumed the position, waiting patiently for them to pat her rump. Harbinger gave Beulah a quick pat, eyeing her cautiously. The Mytori Priest slapped the troll's rear end with all the force he could muster.
Beulah let out an almost girlish giggle at what she apparently perceived as a love pat, and her face blushed a deeper orange color. She gave the Mytori Priest a huge, toothy grin, flipping her hair playfully with her hand. Then she noticed the bright red bite mark on her breast.
"Hey, Beulah not that kind of woman. It take week for hickey to go away," the troll said hotly.
"Hickey? Hickey! Woman, let me tell you something that is the last thing I was trying to do," the Mytori Priest retorted.
Beulah hauled back and slapped him. Due to the size of her hand, the blow connected hard with most of his face and the Mytori Priest tumbled backwards again, striking the wall for the second time.
Harbinger rushed to stand between his downed friend and the fuming Beulah.
"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. He was just overcome by your beauty."
"You think so?" Beulah contemplatively stroked her stubbly chin hairs.
"Why else? You've been around enough men to know how they act toward a well-endowed woman such as yourself." Harbinger winked at Beulah, trying to alleviate any doubt.
Beulah turned a brighter orange, fluttered her eyelashes, and waved a bashful hand at the Mytori Priest.
The Mytori Priest gave Beulah a painful grin of acknowledgement as he again rose to his feet. When Beulah stepped toward him, he clenched a fist, in case the troll tried anything unpleasant.
Beulah told him, "You not quite Beulah's type, but you strong enough. You want good time, come after closing and Beulah show you good time troll style."
Likely not wanting to chance angering Beulah any further, the Mytori Priest replied, "I'm going to be busy with, uh, stuff for a while, but I'll keep your offer in mind."
Beulah seemed to accept the answer, telling them as they entered the tavern, "Welcome to the Wanton Troll!”