2019 Spring Mail In Spoilers and Potential Spoilers

Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2019 10:35 am

Overall, very, very pleased with my tourney:
No worse than 213-171-6-4 with a TC, 3 TV's, and 2 BADD TV's. (still missing final fights for one warrior)

Challengers
The TC was a surprise. 2 YEAR CONTRACT had TV'd twice before, but always had trouble when he reached the runoffs. I was not actually expecting him to be in Challengers this time, having crossed 90FE. Lee doesn't pull those every tourney, though, so 2YC got to fight. I sent him again with the exact same strategy he has been using. And fight he did. He received an almost dream set of matchups (AB, LU, LU, ST, LU, LU, LU, WS, PL(loss), TP, LU, LU, LU, LU, TP). My blood really started pumping around R11-12. The lungers just kept lining up to fight him.

He started the tourney:
2 YEAR CONTRACT (72-6552) of BB SMART PHONE (732) [8-1-1,58,94FE], will fight Challengers.
He is a total parry with ST=15(4) CN=21(5) SZ=5 WT=17(2) WL=21 SP=5 DF=13(2).
He is left handed, is very intelligent, is relatively slow and inactive, is slightly
uncoordinated, has tremendous endurance, can take tremendous amounts of damage, can carry a
good amount of weight, is incredibly quick and elusive, has an Expert in initiative, has a
Master in riposte, has a Master in attack, has an Advanced Master in parry, has a Master in
defense, and has an Advanced Expert in decisiveness.
He ended the tourney with 8 more FE (no trains) and a TC prize to his name.

Freshmen
No surprises, no TV's.

Challengers
Moses started 0-2 and finished 2-3-1. Some positive results from other warriors in the class (outside of 2YC). A couple nice trains, a BADD TV, and another long time bagger had his best result in the class to date.

Adepts
My Virus clone started 0-2 and then remembered he was good and didn't lose again, getting the BADD TV. My other good warriors did the same thing they've been doing up to this point, looking better on paper then the sands (though they don't look horrible on the sands, just nothing to remember)

Apprentices
This was a surprise class, with 2 TV's and more positive results than expected. My crew here looked awful, but didn't perform awful.

Rookies
I wanted more from this class. I sent 20 (actually 19, I sent a warrior I thought was a rookie who actually was 5FE from his real rookies run) and got a single TV. The warrior I thought was my 'best' going in went a respectable 6-3.

I did end up sending 12 total to the BADD tourneys, but given the overall results, I'll just shrug that off.

Advanced Expert Poster Joined: Jul 15, 2014 Posts: 142

Welcome to Monday Morning Tourney Quarterback (MMTQB)! I would be lying six ways to Sunday if I didn’t say I was very pleased by the results. Let’s go to the tape!

Awards of the week

I sent a total of 85 warriors and 63 of them came back with itemized Publication 526 forms for disallowed Noncash Charitable Contributions for Alastari tax purposes. Eight of them, some doozies included, didn’t come back at all. Six, however, came back with 1040EZ-TV forms indicating a REFUND as well as Tournament Victor status.

One warrior returned with the coveted Tournament Champion trophy, an autographed set of Pepp In Your Step™ sabatons but the moment was bittersweet as it was accompanied by an Alastari Revenue Service 525 Letter, indicating our tourney results had been selected “at random” for audit. Sadly, this is understandable – and, apparently, systemic – when a non-mega manages a TC.

Unfortunately, even when leveraging the obscure provision of the Alastari tax code that says a TC counts as a minimum of 1.5 TVs, I missed the Cool Manager 10% award challenge. Already, I’ve noticed longer hold times and people crossing the street to avoid awkward interactions. I hope to do better in July.

The six TV’s consisted of 2 lungers, two aimed blows, a striker and – Goal Spoiler Alert! – a WS, spanning the rooks, adepts and champs classes. The TC was a lunger. Four warriors came back with seven wins, three losses and tears in their eyes. The tears, however, were unfounded as my cup had runneth over with joy at the results overall. Besides two of them were nice aimed blows and another an offensive TP, coming in at 7-3-1 (sorry Floyd), who has a sardonic wit which I admire when it isn’t pointed at me.

Quotes of the week

"Rookies isn’t kind to n/n lungers" – Floyd

I took Floyd’s advice to heart and didn’t run any N/N LUs in rooks. Wolfgang is a lunger with ST=10 CN=12 SZ=5 WT=17 WL=21 SP=8 DF=11. He had normal damage, which was almost fatal and bonused with great endurance, which was a godsend. No other bonuses were apparent.

Wolf, not in any way related to Howlin Wolf TC Enterprises, Inc. ™ (all rights reserved), started out of the gate with a couple wastes. He missed his ST train on round one – this is my shocked face – but his endurance enabled him to see the job through. The second waste came out hot but, by minute three, was foregoing the offensive. Wolf missed neither the hint or the invitation and secured the win though there were a few seconds there where he lost his wits.

The next nine fights were all against offensives, five ABs, two LUs, one ST and SL. Many were close – for example, Floyd’s Pegasus being a nail-biter – but our favorite poser got through them, picking up his EX in ATT and DEF.

Turn 12 was a ridiculous affair against (I think) the Dark One’s midget tank WS named Koolaid Kid. Wolf led, Koolaid led… But in minute six, the Kid mentioned something about Jim Jones or bones or something and that brought about both a swift end and an Expert in Initiative.

Lucky round 13 introduced Wolf to the Minotaur, a legendary half man, half bull who was 10-2. This minotaur, however, was all bull. An effeminate fellow, the Minotaur took his little pointy stick and shoved it up Wolf’s… tail for the win. At 12-1, this marked the Wolf’s first loss. The consolation prize was 3 skills.

A couple more tough wins against an AB and a Dameon Darkheart WS, who packed a punch but lacked his Wheaties, found our hero at 14-1. His next opponent was, of course, the Minotaur. A lengthy one-minute fight saw the Minotaur desperate before he decided to do unto Wolf as had been done to him and ended the fight with some wicked epee play. Wolf took away some attack prowess from that fight, earning his ADEX in ATT.

Turning the page on round 17, I saw the Minotaur once more and knew both that this was the finals and that the Wolf was gonna be howling (not in any way related to Howlin Wolf TC Enterprises, Inc. ™ (all rights reserved)). However, perhaps because of the Adex in ATT he had picked up, or because of Cosmic Justice paying a call after that dead adepts debacle last October, or because that’s howl I roll (sorry) – see last year’s April tourney recap re: Isaac – our Wolf got the jump and didn’t give up until the Minotaur was pinned the ground with his spear.

Props to Floyd’s Minotaur for coming into round 13 with two losses and making it to the finals in round 17!

“1. I think that when the same manager gets TC AND runner up, he ran too many of his good warriors in the same class.

2. I think that when the same manager gets TC AND runner up, and your warrior comes in third, your warrior should get runner up under TMM’s well established Diversity of Accolades ™ principle.” – Yours truly

This quote, from last year’s spring mailer, seemed apropos. We had four managers that found themselves TC-ing and being runner up in the same class and I say, candidly, for shame. What a waste of $7.00. What a morale breaker for your warriors who could have been champions but for your arrogance! I assure those warriors in question, including John Ashcroft, Double True, Blend and Run River Run, that I would gladly take you on and give you a shot at true victory. Unlike the megas, I heeded conventional wisdom and had a warrior finish 3rd in rooks and thus he, under principle 2, above, is truly entitled to the rookies runner up slot albeit under somewhat twisted logic. As it happens, this was my first WS TV and a tourney goal achieved!

For the rest of you, whose rookie warriors didn’t finish second, I’m so very sorry to share Marry Too Young, who finished third at 12-3-1:

MARRY TOO YOUNG (22-7485) of POOR LIFE CHOICES (808) [0-0-0,0,0FE], may fight Rookies. He is a wall of steel with ST=17 CN=17 SZ=8 WT=11 WL=15 SP=5 DF=11. He is right handed, is clumsy, has great endurance, can take a lot of damage, can carry a tremendous weight, and does great damage.

“Everything has melted, and spring, with her warm breeze slipping through the boards over the window, has created her own metaphor; that of tears from the melting heart. Two days ago I could not have written that with a straight face, and now I cannot bring myself to laugh, and that is your fault. Did you know what you were doing when you put this here for me to read?” – Steven Brust, Agyar

This tourney was brutal for me to read from a death standpoint.

All the while, as I progressed from my sole ADM entry down through rooks, I was carefully tracking kills vs deaths per my stated goal to have the former exceed the latter because it is better to give than receive. A round 1 init kill drew first blood to be followed by the death of the single warrior I mentioned pre-tourney: an init LU with Adex INI, ATT and DEC and an EX in DEF thrown in for good measure. Criminy.

By the end of Apps, it was tied up at 3-3 with two more kills and deaths. This included a comical one: Dead Achmed was indeed dead on round 1 of Apprentices. By Sherman in the library with a wiffle no less! Perfect!

Rooks was a morgue of deaths round by round. A kill in round one, a kill and death in round two. Two kills in round three. A kill and two deaths in round 4. And so on and so forth. Come round twelve, I was up by one kill and within inches of achieving one of my stated tourney goals. Oddly, all my kills in rooks were Aimed Blows. That ought to warrant a prize of some sorts.

Enter Trump, who killed my 9-6-11-17-21-3-17 N/R Adex ATT aimed blow in Round 12 to tie it up in the bottom of the proverbial 9th at 7 kills and 7 deaths. I had made a note in round 3, when my other AB tacked a “L” on Guccifer, that I thought the name was hilarious. Well, in round 12, the name wasn’t nearly as funny! So, crap. The rest of rooks finished ceteris paribus.

I still had the BADD games, right? So you’re saying there’s a chance?! I had a handful of pages left to read when an unassuming 16(1) – 9 – 8 – 17 – 21 – 3 – 11 WS from my hometown of Lapur – which actually isn’t technically, but that’s another story – wiped the floor with his first BADD opponent, ironically named Path to TC, and, to the surprise of everyone, well, at least me, pushed me into the goal winner’s circle at 8-7. I laughed long and loud at this last-second meaningless kill to achieve my stated goal.

Until that same WS died the next turn.

I am missing one warrior’s final fights from Adepts so there is a small chance this may change, but I’m calling it at this juncture. Goal Failure!

“The Big Dipper wheeled over my head and Orion smiled down on me.

Or so I thought at the time. Now, I wonder if he was not laughing at me; but that is as much nonsense as the other; the stars are merely stars, and I put no more weight on their attitudes than I do on dreams.

Numerology, on the other hand, is a proven fact.”

– Steven Brust, Agyar (so sue me for the second quote, I already had the book open)

The quote first came to mind because of all the OAB constellation warriors I fought. I literally fought Pie Sculptor – what the hell is that anyway – 5 times in rooks, which would explain his TV. That said, something else on topic came to light that I felt warranted sharing.

I had a lunger go 12-3 in champs and finish tied for fourth. Two of his three losses came from the eventual TC and the Runner Up. Interestingly, he also went 11-3-1 in Inits in DC. His setup, you ask? 11(1)-12-5-17-21-8-11.

I also had a lunger TC rooks this tourney. His setup? Funny you should ask! 10-12-5-17-21-8-11.

I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

Stats of the week

Overall, we managed 296-248-8-8, or 54.41%. I provide the decimal because I only improved by 27 basis points from October’s 54.14%. Contrary to my sentiment at the outset, I was not only able to beat 50%, achieving the relevant goal, but also register my best win / loss percentage ever. Life. Is. Good.

Best class(es): Champs at 69%.
Worst class(es): Initiates at 44%.
Best style: LU’s at 61%.
Worst style(s): Parry Riposte at 48%.

Factoids that may only interest me

I. I had 10 warriors slated for a 1st round stat train intended to bump a physical attribute, generally ST and generally DAM. Average WL of 18.5, all stats trains being the first train. Hit 4 of the 10 and only one effectuated the desired bump. Fail.

II. The average win count of my award warriors was 10.4, up pretty significantly from previous efforts. With nearly half the awards finishing in the top 5 of their class, it was a lot different from January where the best was a 9-3.

III. Nine warriors went winless. While not too shabby, particularly after you excuse poor Dead Achmed who died on his first fight, there were some puzzlers. Setting aside the 4 ABs who were mostly along for the skills ride, and the single rooks PR because PR, I had three rooks STs, 15-3-9-21-17-6-13, 11-5-12-21-15-9-11 and 10-11-12-21-11-8-11, fail to even get a participation award.

IV. DEC remains a mystery and will probably always be, but I am at least getting some data points. I sent three STs with 24, 26 and 31 DEC in for Adepts. The 24 lost his only DEC battle and went 1-3. The 26 lost his only decise battle ad went 1-3. The 31 DEC warrior generally fought defensives but won 2 of four DEC battles, props to Dr. F’s Stampede and TUM’s Blend for being quicker on the draw. She went 10-3, tagging a loss on RU Blend and ultimately being put out by the TC. In another class, I had a 15 Dec SL get the jump on a 19 DEC SL with same weapons, armor and, presumably, strategy.

V. There were 13 instances where my basic warriors learned 3 skills this tourney. The tourney announcement says learning is halved, so this is the equivalent of learning six in an arena fight. Considering my overall fights this tourney, this is a hit rate of 2.3%. So it follows that for every 100 arena fights you would expect roughly 2 of them to generate six skills learned. I’m not sure I’ve seen 13 arena fights where six skills were learned in all the basic arena fights since I returned, let alone hundreds. It should be noted that the 3 skill learn warriors were all either 17 or 21 WT. I wonder if anyone has an example of a 15 or lower WT warrior in a basic tourney class learning 3 skills?

Mr. United Global Services Member Travel Note

I’ve been refraining from too much travel this calendar year thus far, so no fun anecdotes. As I type this, though, my parents should be touching back down around now from their trip to Paris. And I am carting the entire Vlad brood down to Tampa for Legoland and Busch Gardens. Miles are a wonderful thing.

Brief truths

A. The harbinger of my favorite Pandora station playing Louis Armstrong’s Wonderful World and Bobby McFerrin’s Don’t Worry, Be Happy as I went to pick up my tourney went unrecognized at the time, as harbingers are wont to do.

B. Having Fedex hold the tourney for pickup rather than waiting on the truck was brilliant. Thanks, Howlin Wolf! Earliest tourney ever.

C. Duelmaster managers are just hilariously clever with their warrior names. Volley Llama, Hair Fuhrer and Thumpernickel were among many memorable names that tickled my fancy.

Ten things I think I think

1. I think it is amazing how much entertainment RSI can pack into a small fedex box.

2. I think the SC is overpowered. I think I am channeling Captain Obvious.

3. I think I could feel Floyd patting my shoulder and saying “unlucky roll” when one of my STs got the jump on one of his, threw a lame regular swing which got dodged and easily riposted for the win. I think my warrior was missing the obligatory post-decise-battle crit. I think Floyd’s APM armored Inits LU getting the jump on my au naturel ST was embarrassing. I think that while it’s bad enough to lose consistently to Floyd as a manager, getting beat by KIRK of DUDES OF THE D on top of that is just diarrhea icing on the poop cake.

4. I think my tourney notes had an inordinate amount of F bombs.

5. I think I finally made the very basic connection between endurance and, not so much minutes but, number of swings.

6. I think I enjoyed the leisurely reading and recording of my tourney, with brisket going on the smoker Friday after Chumps, going to bed Friday night after Round 1 Rooks. Getting through round 5 of rookies before hitting the sack Saturday and finally turning the last page early Sunday evening. I think I regretted pushing to round five late Saturday night, having come off a 25-15 round four to then end on a 16-19 round five.

7. I think the crowd jeering “Who’s your daddy?” made it all worthwhile. I think I was hoping and praying for a SPANK ME DADDY! vs WHO’S YOUR DADDY? matchup.

8. I think the AA’s Lion Tamer scum was aptly named as he took out three separate LUs of mine.

9. I think everyone in Inits and Apps wore APM/APA except my warriors.

10. I think these are the other things I think this week:

a. I think I did a better job slowing some of my warriors down against the tanks than in previous tourneys, with one LU hanging on for 15 minutes though, sadly, that still wasn’t enough.

b. Coffeenerdness: I’m so over Starbucks and their app. I generally drink iced coffees so, when BoV brought home a “cold brew” kit in which we could leverage our preferred coffee – Koffee Kult Dark Roast, if you’re keeping track --, we, after a bit of experimentation with ratios of coffee, dairy and sweetener, the latter of which we’ve abandoned entirely, now happily have an unlimited supply of excellent iced coffee. By my math, I’m saving enough for 3 – 5 team sheets per week!

c. Winenerdness: Jerman and I had occasion to get together and treat our respective better halves to a fantastic dinner and, while they gossiped, prognosticate on our particular paper performances. Jerman brought along some Del Dotto David and I some 2010 B.R. Cohn Olive Hill Estate, both vineyards we’d had the good fortune to visit over the years. If wine is your thing, I would recommend both to you without reservation.

d. I think putting on the Slim Shady LP after a rough inits run made me feel better.

e. I think defeating a TMM warrior always feels good, even if it is an “experiment” or “junk”. Ending one’s tourney run at 7-3 can flat out make someone’s day.

f. I think the Responsiveness tactic worked for Howlin Wolf but not me. I think I need to fix that.

g. I think my graduate of the OAB Sunk Cost™ school of tourney admittance did ok, managing a 3-3.

h. I think protecting the arms is still the way to go. I think attacking the arms may or may not be. I think protecting them against AB’s in general and Mr. Wiggles in specific was meaningless. I think it was refreshing to see someone go for somewhere else and get rewarded for it.

i. I think it was nice at 7-0 for one of my warriors to see Embezzling Scribe across the sands and know you’ve secured your first TV. I think it was terrifying when it took said warrior two minutes to take the embezzler out.

j. I think Assur’s midget Not Enough Telllers one-shotting my 13 cn / 7 sz warrior was aimed blow bullshit.

k. I think Trump’s WS desperation strategy saved me several times.

l. I think my OTP’s warning to surrender or die, followed up by a warning that one more blow would send her opponent to Ahringol, made it particularly sweet to have her deliver on both those promises.

m. I think I will continue to critically examine which P/G offensives I enter. The two rookie STs went 2-6. On the flip side the only other one I entered, in champs, went 12-3.

n. I think it is interesting how Excel treats the scan of a fight when extracting text, with both warrior names appearing side-by-side together in the cell at the top of the file. I think it was hilarious when one of those files read “Silent Shart”

o. I think I need to remember to not look at the next round opponents. The couple times I forgot, one of either two things happened. Either the name struck dread, e.g. Trillium, or I glanced at the opponent’s record, saw that same opponent on a fight later that same round and knew I didn’t need to bother reading that fight because I lost!

p. Obit of the Week: My best hope going into the tourney, an 11-9-5-21-15-10-13 init LU with Adex’s in INI/ATT/DEC and Ex DEF, Obit-it at 5-3 on his way out of the tourney.

Who I like(d) in April

I called out a handful of warriors in my primary classes, so here’s how I prognosticated:

ADM: Jenicor went 4-3 and will hopefully continue to do better as she packs on weight.

Challengers: My immort LU smashed Floyd’s predicted 1-3 and came in at 3-3. To Floyd’s credit, the losses were eye opening in terms of how overmatched he was.

Champions: Technically, I don’t know how the tourney ended for the ST I called out since I am still awaiting later round reprints. That said, my LU entry went 10-3 for an award. I hadn’t predicted much for him since he was coming off an 0-2 adepts showing.

Adepts: The home town favorite OTP managed a 4-3 and continues to learn well. The highest DEC ST I mentioned went 10-3 for an award.

Inits: This was, um, a bad class for me with the great hope I mentioned being slaughtered and the best showing being 5-3.

Apps: I didn’t mention any, for good reason, but this class gave a little better than they got. I had one 7-3 finish.

Rooks: The 17-21-x-17 AB was killed by Trump, the 5-21-12-21 AB, with whom Assur had TCd, managed a respectable if uninspired 6-3. Neither of the mentioned WS’s did very well. The basher continued to keep my TV hopes for the style alive with a 5-3-1. And, well, that lunger…

Adieu Haiku

Total composer
Mozart suits me to a T
C you in Tampa!

Obligatory post-script Quote of the Week:

“If he TCs, his post-tourney writeup will end with "Suck it!!" – OAB

SUCK IT!

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2019 3:20 am

Such a read, Vlad Exclamation

Kudos.

Posted: Sat May 04, 2019 3:56 am

Wow ..can't believe I just got around to reading your tourney recap Vlad. Great stuff. As always its a must read.

Posted: Sat May 04, 2019 3:58 am

Also ...loved that rookies WS ..a set up after my own heart.