Jan 2021 Mail-In

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2021 3:27 pm

Newsletter is available in my Tourney Newsletter Archive:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5fDM-W1nBEzVURYRGZhbUVSWlk?usp=sharing

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2021 5:44 pm

It's in Discord

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2021 7:39 pm

Hombre wrote:

Yeah, it would be much appreciated if someone had a newsletter to post in a spoiler thread. I’m out of state and bored Very Happy

A NL can be found in the Spoilers Thread on Discord.

https://discord.com/channels/517023262513823744/517023262513823746

ArchMaster Poster Joined: Apr 15, 2004 Posts: 2959

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TC/RU list (by way of Chatzy, compiled by Assur)

Primus: Frankenberry AB TMM // Little Girl Crush AB TMM
Contenders: Miffed Sandy AB TMM // Alice Blue AB TUM
Eligibles: Mush AB TUM // Jack Daniels AB Floyd
ADM: Warrior Wight LU Dameon Darkheart // The White Whale LU HW
Freshmen: Human Pretzel AB OAB // Warchant STK TMM
Challengers: Whale Meat LU HW // Viki AB Mgr
Champions: Mamba LU Khisanth // Yoga Underachiever LU TUM
Adepts: Pepp in your Stepp LU TUM // Misfire ST Mannequin
Initiates: Bill 3 LU Mgr // Felaern ST Kharadmon
Apprentices: Dagadan ST Kharadmon // Garrik LU Kharadmon
Rookies: My Fault AB Vlad // Katydids AB Floyd

ArchMaster Poster Joined: Apr 15, 2004 Posts: 2959

I sent 50 warriors, spread out among 10 classes (I skipped Adepts this tourney). I'll go from worst to first.

Initiates, Apprentices, and Rookies

I had 21 entries in these three classes, and they went 49-55-2-5 and won 0 awards. It was a pretty bad showing for my lower basic crew.

Eligibles and ADM

I busted out a number of warriors in these classes, including a promising PL in ADM and a nice AB or two in Eligibles. I earned 0 TVs.

STORMCROWE PIE got the closest in ADM, with a 7-3. Not bad for a 21 WL-21 SP novelty bust-out, but not good enough to make me want to do it again.

My best AB in Eligibles, STICKY FINGERS, spent the entire tourney training his DF=25(4) instead of his WT=20(5). So he missed out on the opportunity to luck into some big trains along the way. He finished at 5-3.

Primus

My TV hopeful, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN, went a disappointing 3-3.

My PS, Axe Murderer, did well at 2-3, picking up one of those wins from a maxed SC LU. He lost out on tiebreakers to DOMINION, however, for the stylemaster award.

I did pick up a BA stylemaster with HORSE D'OEUVRE, who went 1-4 while still learning the last of his gateway skills.

It seems clear to me that HORSE D'OEUVRE and ANDORIAN SMOOTHIE have both surpassed their predecessors (DECK SWAB and SUSHI SLINGER), so I'll be dropping back down to 1 BA and 1 SL entry for next Primus.

I also think I'll be dropping to 0 LUs. GOLDENBEARD looked good, at times, even hitting 5 three times in a single fight, but he just can't seem to put it together to beat the top ABs. With so many good Doc Steele LUs competing each tourney, my chance of winning a LU stylemaster is somewhere between slim and none. So I'm going to spend that $7 on something else.

Challengers

I entered five warriors in this class, but only two of those were above 50 FE, so I wasn't expecting much.

My ABs did poorly, but my other warriors exceeded my expectations. I had a ST go 6-3, a LU go 7-3, and my best performance was by a SL, DELTA CANCRI, who went 10-3 and earned a TV.

DELTA CANCRI is a former Initiates runner-up and Adepts TV, and is a Defense favorite learn who I seem to have honed in on his favorite weapon and rhythm to some extent. He did some good training, and finished up at 14(3)-14(5)-9-21-20(3)-10-7 after his TV. These PPs should get him to 17, so he might get an invite when his arena runs again. But if so, it was a nice performance to finish off his basic career.

Champions

I did well in this class, but not with the warriors that I expected. RHO TELESCOPII, my Adepts TC ST, finished up at 3-3. OUBLIETTE, my Dead Adepts RU AB, finished up at 4-3.

Meanwhile FIFTH-RATE, my 27 FE DYO AB, looked great and finished up at 11-3. She ended up in 3rd place, eliminated by the runner-up, YOGA UNDERACHIEVER (who FIFTH-RATE had beaten earlier in round 11). FIFTH-RATE never had a chance to fight the eventual TC, MAMBA, but having gone 1-1 with YOGA UNDERACHIEVER, she came within reach of a finals fight. Not too shabby, and it bodes well for her future Challengers career.

To top it off, FIFTH-RATE picked up the AB stylemaster prize in the class, which she can use to improve to +5/+4.

Contenders

This class blew me away. Having read only Primus and Contenders at this point, I was super pumped about my tourney. Even if I didn't win a single thing after this, I was going to be excited.

I entered three warriors in the class, two ABs and a TP. One AB, DUSKBLOOD PUDDING, is a weapon favorite and had TV'd the class twice before. THIRD COURSE is a FI AB who had only just recently reached the top of the class. My final entry, SPARE ANCHOR, had just reached the top of the class a few arena turns ago.

SPARE ANCHOR is one of my favorite warriors of all time, a scum TP from my team in 18, who started life as a 13-17-13-3-21-6-11 TP. He did nothing in basic, but he had a long stint sandbagging Freshmen, earning 4 Freshmen TVs and 3 Freshmen RUs before eventually winning a Freshmen TC. I thought that was going to be the end of his career, but I set him up to sandbag ADM anyway, where he got an ADM runner-up and then an ADM TC. I thought again, this must be the end of the road, but I set him up as an Eligibles sandbagger, where he went on to TV and then TC. Obviously I couldn't give up now, so I pushed him up to the Contenders line. And I mean this loosely. I trained SPARE ANCHOR up to 25(12)-25(8)-13-25(22)-25(4)-7(1)-25(14), with all his Att, Par, and Def learned, and he has only 279 skills. That is about where my ABs are parked. By my calculations, SPARE ANCHOR could add another 10-15 skills, but there is just no way for me to get any more good skills without modifying him with prizes.

With three entries, I earned three TVs in Contenders. DUSKBLOOD PUDDING and THIRD COURSE went 9-3, and SPARE ANCHOR went 10-3! I didn't think a TP could be that competitive in the class, but I am overjoyed that SPARE ANCHOR is.

Of the 9 losses I received in the class, at least 6 of them came at the hands of other TVs. PAUL WIEDORFER eliminated two of my warriors, and THE RABBIT eliminated the third. Earlier, I suffered two losses to the eventual TC, MIFFED SANDY, and another to OPAL RAVIOLI. Not bad company at all.

Freshmen

I had called out one warrior in this class as my single best chance to TC.

HUMAN PRETZEL went into the freeze as a 14(7)-15(4)-7-8-21-10-20 AB with skills in the 130s. In the three arena turns leading up to the tourney, he trained WL twice to 23 and DF to 21. I had him train WL-DF-DF three times through round 9, then WT in 10+.

He got off to a great start training wise, hitting WL to 24 and DF to 22 and 23 in the first three turns. Performance wise, he suffered a setback in round 2, losing to HW's ST CHATMON. He must've had big Ini, because I couldn't attack for two minutes. All I could do was dodge and parry to try and stay alive, which doesn't end well usually.

Following that loss, the wins starting rolling in, but the trains stopped. It wasn't until round 9 that HUMAN PRETZEL picked up another train, DF to 24. He faced an NPC in round 10 and picked up WT to 9. WT to 10 came in round 11, and WT to 11 came in round 15 for the huge pickup of Ini, Att, and Def skills. Along the way, he beat RARE BREED (a TP), SEYMORE GUTTS (WS) twice, BURDEN TOFU (a BA), and PIZNAUL JIZNOKE (a ST).

By round 16, there were only two warriors left, HUMAN PRETZEL and WARCHANT, a ST run by TMM (although you wouldn't know it from the team name, so probably an adopted warrior). We both had one loss.

WARCHANT got the better of HUMAN PRETZEL in the first fight, scoring a knockdown on the second SC hit, but HUMAN PRETZEL picked up a train to 12 WT.

The next round was the complete opposite, with WARCHANT unable to hit HUMAN PRETZEL, and my AB getting a knockdown on HIS second EP hit. He also got the super lucky WT train to 13 this round, for a few much needed skills.

The final fight was the closest of the three, with neither fighter falling down. WARCHANT got the jump and was able to land one SC crit before HUMAN PRETZEL took control of the fight and landed a series of EP attacks.

In the end, HUMAN PRETZEL won me the Freshmen TC. He finished up as a 14(7)-15(4)-7-13(5)-24(3)-10-24(4) AB with 183 total skills. Which looks like a perfect spot to train ST to 25 in Eligibles and take a stab at that class.

Aftermath

My 50 entries ended up going 177-148-2-5, for a 54% win percentage. They won 1 TC, 5 TVs, and 3 stylemasters. I honestly didn't expect to TC this tourney, so was very pleased to have done so.

I will probably be sending a similar sized roster to the April MI, where I expect Clone/Twin to be the prize. I will do my best to win one, and do my best not to be disappointed if I don't.

The prize for this tourney was 10 ZAPs, and Lee recently revealed that she would allow out-of-bounds uses for Primus warriors. I expect I won't be the only one adding Dodge tactic to a Primus AB, which will serve to both improve parity in Primus, and reduce the number of prizes that end up in the other 10 classes. That sounds like a win-win to me.

One final reminder: The two-week turnaround Bloodgames (DM 96) is due Feb 2. So get those strategies in if you plan on participating.

I hope everyone enjoys their tournies, and I look forward to matching up with you again in April.

Advanced Expert Poster Joined: Jul 15, 2014 Posts: 193

Interesting. I started to post that I could send Hombre an NL given there has been no movement on the forum post (at least for me). But as I write this, there are messages on the Topic Review below that are not visible on the forums yet, again, at least to me. Including OAB's typically nice tourney write up and, ultimately making this moot, the fact that Hombre has the NL now.

Weird doings.

Advanced Expert Poster Joined: Jul 15, 2014 Posts: 193

Welcome to the Better Late Than Never version of the Monday Morning Tourney Quarterback (MMTQB)! My publisher has reminded me, via certified mail, that there are, contrary to my original understanding, SLAs associated with my contract.

Let’s go dust off the tapes!

Quotes of the week

“All the King’s Horses and All the King’s Men, couldn’t put Humpty together again.” – English Nursery Rhyme

I’ll admit it. I still bear scars from that Choose Your Own Adventure ™ Halloween tourney. Even though it’s been a few years, I continue to open each Fedex box with some small amount of trepidation. Sort of like the opposite of opening a box of Cap’n Crunch™ cereal as a kid where you know that, whatever the surprise inside is, it will be a net positive.

ADM, with its single warrior, was over in a blink at 0-3 so I hadn’t even really gotten comfortable in my Barcalounger, or taken a sip of the cordial at my elbow. I had higher hopes for Freshmen, anyway.

Billy Blanks was up first in Freshmen and won his fight in fine style, killing Heraja from my ancient Lapurian nemesis, Black Samurai. I didn’t even realize they were still playing; I hadn’t seen them for years.

Good horror, ironically like good comedy, is the result of an artistic process where your mind is carefully led down a path and is just a-skippin happily along, whistlin’ a little ditty, when Something Happens that it can’t process. And the kneejerk, visceral reaction is usually either laughter or fear. Wait, I know I read that somewhere…

Ok, it took me maybe a half hour to find the correct Far Side book and then another 15 minutes to find the passage, but Gary Larson does a great job of explaining it:

“First of all, the key element in any attempt at humor is conflict. Our brain is suddenly jolted into trying to accept something that is unacceptable… And the emotional response to this kind of conflict can range from laughter to a broken nose. In any humorous vehicle (comedy, cartoons, Pintos, etc.), this conflict, whether subtle or blunt, is mandatory.” Gary Larson, The Prehistory of the Far Side

Anyway, so back to my Round 1 Freshmen read. The Round 1 murder turned out to be Billy Blanks in the Arena with a Fist. Satisfied, I turned over the page to enjoy my next Freshman. Rather than my next Freshman Round 1 fight, I was looking at a Freshmen Round 6 fight of TUM’s, Lil Legs vs A Man. I felt a knot in my stomach. I quickly flipped to the next fight. Round 1 of Challengers, though my warrior at least and another win. What happened to Freshmen? Next page, the last page of some warrior named Bert Wellen’s Round 1 Freshman fight. Who’s he? I began to groan and turned the page again. Lo and behold, my next Round 1 Freshman fight, with Daavya beating a Boss Rat minion. I breathed a sigh of relief until Round 5, when I was once again looking at Round Two of Challengers but this time for a different Challengers warrior. What happened to the rest of Round 1 Challengers? A little voice inside me screamed “Nooooo!!!” The cordial sat, forgotten. Then, after that fight, back to Freshmen and I was in despair. This was a disaster.

But, right about then, things settled down and the rest of tourney went without issue, catching up on the missing round 1 Challengers and proceeding normally from there. I learned later from Lee that, in all likelihood, there had been a paper bloom at the printer – if you’ve attended a Face-To-Face, you’re probably familiar – and they had to rebuild the fights. Apparently, mailer paper is particularly susceptible. In all fairness, it wound up being ok and they did an admirable job.

“It’s not My Fault that Katydids Not” – Yours Truly

Hmmm…. 2nd rookies Aimed Blow Tourney Champion in a year of mailers. Was it because of my masterful, singular strategy that both used? Or was it because I flooded the class, with 62 of the approximately 550 warriors or just over 10%? Was it because of my secret design that is, apparently, the rooks aimed blow TC sweet spot? Or was it because, out of eighteen ( 18 ) opponents, my warrior ran into just two strikers and a basher with the rest being 6 total parries and 8 aimed blows? Or was it just luck / tourney seed?

Who knows? But I’ll get back to you after My Fault’s brother from another mother runs in April’s rooks. He is accompanied by a couple cousins to Tree Fu Tom. 😊

A quick win over a non-scum TP, at least if the short sword was an indication, led to a tDO TP in Maniacal Maid who, after filing down her broom to a point, had a long pointy stick. Having not really given the first warrior a chance to participate in the discussion, My Fault waited for the Maid to get a few, uh, points in before deciding he’d had enough. Round 3 brought round one of the very few offensives, the striker XEOO of Faceless, who was indeed faceless after My Fault punched it off for the kill. Following an uneventful round 4, Howlin’ Wolf, of Howlin’ Wolf TC Enterprises, LTD., threw a shortsword to an on-the-bubble TP Snake, who used it for all he was worth, sending My Fault desperate at least once; however, being the shortsword, it wasn’t sufficient despite being Howlin’ Wolf’s managerial favorite weapon.

A win over an aimed blow in round six led to warm greeting from Darque’s typo-ed piece of furniture called Cadenza who brought a fist to a weapons fight and accidentally died when he rushed forward to embrace My Fault and spitted himself on my warrior’s weapon. Round 7 found My Fault at 7-0-2 and looking a miniature basher Goddess Hera squarely in the eye. Hera had a quarterstaff that was bigger than she was. She used it well, sending My Fault desperate, but ran out of gas. Another TP in round 8 using the apparently standard-issue SH didn’t get very far with it. That led to…. another TP with a shortsword in Round 10, this one one being Bubba’s Phosheo who actually never got his out of the scabbard.

You all know I enjoy my wine, so it was fun to see My Fault square off against Manager’s Wino. This was a fantastic fight, with both warriors desperate, but ultimately the wine made the difference and Manager’s AB won the day while sending my warrior to the ICU, better known as the Infirmary Care Unit or The Quack Hacks™.

Our hero entered Round 12 with a loss and an eye for revenge, which he took out on DMobster’s Aleph, who obviously didn’t get the shortsword memo. Electric Wit also brought a fist to a knife fight and nearly pulled it off with some Kung Fu / Chuck Norris junk that made My Fault very afraid and, at one point, desperate.

Round 14 brought along Floyd’s AB Katydids who did just that, easily handling My Fault and handing him his second loss. Plus, well, Floyd. Not to mention her making mincemeat of my crew on 3 other occasions up to that point.

Turning the page brought a striker from Howlin’ Wolf of Howlin’ Wolf TC Enterprises, LTD. At two losses, I figured that was the end of that run. But My Fault had other ideas, quickly taking control of the fight and allowing only a single glancing blow before taking Sable out.

Round 16 brought Khisanth’s Spitter, who had been an absolute nightmare for my crew, ruining the hopes and potential sponsorship deals for four of my other rookies. In the past, he had been quite hard to hit, though relatively frail, usually dodging my warriors and then kicking their tuckus after a few swings. True to form, in what was just a few lines of fighting, My Fault led with a lame regular swing, and I saw the dreaded “SPITTER steps back, and then rushes forward in a counterstrike!” But My Fault, perhaps seeing his own sponsorship portfolio value, would have none of that and followed up with an attack that ended the fight. Woo HOO!

I have one page left. Could it be? Katydids again, and this is probably the finals. She was having nothing of the last fight, where my woman, My Fault, took the initiative. She charged at My Fault like my warrior had borrowed her favorite dress without asking and gotten a wine stain on it. But Katy was having nothing of the fisticuffs and laid into my lady with a mean scimitar, with three quick, angry strikes. My Fault was desperate, bleeding badly, but Katydids wouldn’t let up. “She twists into a tremendous cutting attack with her scimitar!”, the fight ended and I silently screamed, Floyd!

MY FAULT has overcome her opponent! Wait, what? In one of those deliciously stealth initiative changes, many of which I have been a victim of, My Fault abruptly pulled a swing out of nowhere and ended the fight. Sincere grats and condolences to Floyd for an excellent run.

TC Bonus Justified Quote:

“I’m actually completely ignorant of what I do.” Jacob Pitts, Tim Gutterson, Justified.

That pretty much clocks it.

Awards of the week

Our legal department advises us that, while Pepp still reigns as the go-to fan favorite for prizes, the Pepp In Your Stepp™ slogan is currently embroiled in trademark litigation despite it clearly being trademarked by yours truly. So, the Commission, in light of the TRO (temporary restraining order, for those not in the biz), pivoted to Pepp In Your Schlep™ prizes. In my instance, nine, count ‘em, 9 warriors merited a Tourney Victor award and the accompanying Pepp In Your Schlep™ autographed Maul Walkers, which will come in handy the next time the Face To Face is held at the Maul Of Alistari. Much like the nine rings of the Nazgul and the One Ring to Rule Them All, one warrior, My Fault, mentioned both humbly and briefly above, was lucky enough to bring home the Tournament Champion prize to compliment the 9 TV prizes, that being the Pepp In Your Schlepp™ autographed sabatons with Odor-X insoles. He’s sporting them now and, let me tell ya, the teammates are so jealous!

The TV’s included a plethora – @Dense, that means “a lot of different” – of styles, including Aimed Blow, Bashing, Striking, Lunging, Wall of Steel, and Total Parry. I look back fondly on the days where I was hoping for my first TV for each of those, particularly the Bashing style. Aptly, another 7 warriors came in at 7 wins.

No matter how you slice or dice it, we hit the mythical, perpetual 10% awards target.

Stats of the week

Stunning the bookies, the team turned in a 354-283-11-12 record for a 55.6% win / loss ratio. Talking heads ask, “Is this the new normal?” Story at 11! Critics ask, “Is this even vetted. Consider the source!” Thankfully, I had no goal about kills vs deaths.

Best style: Parry Strike at 63%, which makes no sense.

Worst Style: Strikers at 49%, which makes no sense.

Best Class: Champions at 69%

Worst Class: ADM at 0%. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Goals of the week

None, so…

Overall: Pass!

Factoids that may only interest me

I. Every single one of my twelve deaths were rookies. That means fully 19% of rookies squad. I refer to that as pipeline natural selection. It may eventually begin to cause a recruiting problem. Nothing like looking at a pool of recruits and saying, “Well, look around. Many of you won’t be here next week.”

II. The average Wit of my award winners was 15, the average Will was 18.6

III. My first NPC matchup for the tourney was round 9 of rooks.

IV. Three of my warriors were put out by the ultimate TC of their class.

Mr. United Global Services Member Travel Note

While United has kindly extended my Global Services status through January of 2022 due to Covid, this sadly marks the end of an era for me as my organization embraces remote work and the work which took me to Europe has wound down. While there is always a chance something else comes up, it is likely that Tempe will be my last hurrah. Look for a “Vlad hates coach!” section, coming soon to a tourney writeup near you!

Brief truths

A. Trust the process.*

B. Going for the kill loses fights. If you don’t believe me, ask Tim Lollar.

C. Be careful what you wish for.**

* Unless your process sucks, in which case you probably shouldn’t.

** Particularly if your wish was for a chance to put Fifth Rate in his chump place, only to have him demolish and exit your two best champs in rounds 10 and 12 of Champs, respectively.

Ten things I think I think:

1. I think if your warrior is going to get put out of Challengers, the fight with Socrates Was Thirsty was the right way to do it.

2. I think that, like me, Watson has trouble accepting a loss.

3. I think the competition in Champs felt stiffer except for that fight vs Big Lake Bandits, well, and the one vs. Big Lake Insults… I think you get the gist.

4. I think, when my maxed DEF Champs LU took a hit from a lame regular opening swing from a chump striker, I felt like Spirit in Newark.

5. I think I first tried out the title “TC” on one of my warriors in Round 3 of Champs. I think it ultimately didn’t stick.

6. I think I never want to see the warrior Wilted near my Big Coccyx again.

7. I think it is bittersweet to put your ally’s warrior out.

8. I think it was awkward to discover on his first Adepts fight that I had inadvertently run A Tad Inebriated over the Inits line to 11FE just before the tourney. I think it was really awkward for the four people he beat.

9. I think it was nice, albeit lucky, to put a loss on tDO’s monster midget basher, Armageddon. I think it was syrup on the pancakes to get the BA stylemaster because of that.

10. These are the other things I think this week:

a. I think it was fascinating that both Doc Steele and I had the temerity, gall or stupidity (take your pick) to enter a sub-20 DEC slasher in Adepts.

b. I think Kharadmon consistently put the spank on my stable this tourney.

c. Coffeenerdness: I think the new Mom and Pop coffee / cocktail place down the street has a ways to go on their iced coffee.

d. I think My Monster squaring off against Monster Roll Call was fun. I think Anita Bath vs My Cold Shower was as well. Finally, I think Cow Tools being put out by Unholy Cow was awesome

e. I think I saw what ChiefI did with his Lungers…

f. I think Burner King was funny.

g. I think when you run roughly 60 warriors, rooks is a tourney unto itself.

h. I think I like the continuous improvement of Watson. Awareness is currently slated for 2023.

i. I think I have not the least clue how to run Parry Strikes’s. I think that is painfully obvious.

j. I think I’m not sure which is more suspenseful and gratifying… a really close fight or your favorite warrior winning his fight

k. I think a midget TP one-shotting my 14 con / 5 sz APM-clad parry riposte was complete BS.

l. Winenerdness: I think the ability to get fresh olive oil directly from the same Napa, Sonoma or Tuscany vineyards from which we get our wine is underrated.

m. I think I grinned involuntarily when I got to my first Howlin’ Wolf matchup who was, of course, undefeated at that stage.

n. Optical Character Recognition (OCR) of the Week: One for the smokers: “ lights as well with either hand ”

o. I think it was a little intimidating for one of my warriors to square off against Death.

p. I think it was inevitable, and appropriate, that The Weapon died from inept management and, the coroner tells me, a high level of embarrassment in his system.

q. Obit of the Week: 13-5-6-21-13-5-21 AB, of course on Round 1 and, of course, by an ally.

Who I like(d) in April

“And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason…”

Well, the Piper has left as April is currently in the books and we’re all just waiting to hear the tune in a few days. My Fault is in limbo until I get around to a team move. Ditto for my App who finished 3rd. Adepts is a cluster of ridiculous talent so not much there. Manager called for me for TC Inits, which is kind and makes me laugh. Thanks Manager!

Adieu Haiku

Writeup just in time
It’s better late than never
I hope you got jabbed!