January FtF 2023

Expert Poster Joined: Dec 31, 2021 Posts: 57

Sure but I clinched style master by r10. Smile

Should get an extra potion for Runner Up! That would also guarantee the RU gets something in case the top 2 warriors are the same style.

Unchartered Poster Joined: Jun 05, 2003 Posts: 17

TC doesn't get a SM potion.

Advanced Expert Poster Joined: Jul 15, 2014 Posts: 192

Welcome to the Tempe January 2K23 Monday Morning Tourney Quarterback (MMTQB), brought to you by Denny’s®! Let’s roll the tape!

Quotes of the week

"Build Your Own Grand Slam®" – Denny’s

Originally named after The Hammer, Hank Aaron, Denny’s Grand Slam built on the concept from baseball, where a batter with runners on all three bases hits a home run, resulting in 4 runs scored. When you sit down at a Denny’s – did I mention this article is sponsored by Denny’s? – ordering a Grand Slam enables the diner to create their own breakfast by selecting 4 items from their breakfast menu. It should be noted that the term “Grand Slam” has extended from baseball into other sports, including Tennis and Golf, to indicate a player winning all four of the sport’s major events in a year.

What does this have to do with Duelmasters? Enter Resounding Tumult.

When the dust settled at the end of a long weekend, the 5’6” slasher with Small Man Syndrome but a large shoe size stood victorious atop the wreckage of 217 other Adepts to provide Team Vlad not only our first victory at a January FTF – which, based on past performances, I honestly thought would NEVER happen – but also its fourth consecutive TC of a yearlong Grand Slam, which began back with the 2022 April mailer. Want to get into a debate about career vs slam vs grand slam and what counts? Don’t @ me.

Resounding Tumult was not my favorite by any stretch. After all, I’ve been an outspoken opponent of 17-17 warriors (run by me) because they have demonstrably cratered my tourney performance over the years. That said, he applied for entry in the Adepts tourney with his MAS ratings in INI/ATT/DEC so, at the end of the day, who was I to say “No”? He got the nod and strolled out onto the sands.

Round 1 presented Mr. T of Famous Golfers (really?) and Resounding provided that basher with a quick sip of flight juice administered over two large doses. Problem solved. Nervy Collar, a PL rumored to be of TUM stock, was run over in round two, picking himself, as well as his (*snort*) EX in PAR, up from the sands. Expert PAR in Adepts?! For a PARRY-lunge? What’s THAT learning curve? Round 3 saw The Consortium’s 4’11” slasher sharpening a hatchet, so it was a nice mano a mano opportunity but it turned out Lotta Bull was just that. It is, perhaps, fitting that the first real fight was against a TEABAG ally in Round 4 with Riff Raff, whose ST was also undefeated. A true battle for the initiative ensued but RT got the jump and the win. Thanks for the two PAR skills there, buddy! Round 5 brought a Doc Steele 4’11” scum TP but, thanks to Watson®, this TEABAG warrior was prepared and dismantled Epic Dumb in 4 painful minutes. The 6th opponent, a LU, presented that age-old question… slow down a bit in case he’s plated up and dodgy or whackity-whack and hope he don’t come back? I chose poorly and Lunacy was all over RT. But, a little bit of luck and a solid desperation strategy won the day. The next fight was called and RT, cruising at 6-0, got to square off with his 2nd SL opponent, Legbiter. Maybe RT got a little too comfortable or was just outclassed but, either way, Madwand’s Legbiter gave RT what-fer and sent him limping back to the showers with his first loss. To top that off, the next opponent was another TEABAG ally, Kharadmon’s Kardasan. Now, I haven’t done the math (I’m working on it), but it FEELS like I run about 25% vs Kharadmon and like 5% against his stupid STs. Anywho, I was not expecting much when RT suddenly got the jump after a decent decise battle and charged at Kardasan like it was the Battle of Seven Pines. Of course, Kardasan parried that attack and I waited to see him riposte my Slasher for the win. But RT never gave up the initiative and won the duel, appropriately picking up his Adex in Riposte. Score one for the home team! Round 9 was TV Territory for RT who was at 7-1, but his opponent was a Floyd ST named Sugar Wraith who, at 7-1, was also in the TV hunt. Knowing that with Floyd there is no matter of joking, RT and I conferred and, taking inspiration from Funky Introduction, RT went in with a Shortsword. Now, I hate the SH but figured that would be my only chance to get the jump on a Floyd ST. A strong clash at the outset, followed by a lucky roll, and RT got the jump. About 23 hits later, Sugar Wraith went down. Ok, it was just one more but there were like 20 dodges and parries by Floyd’s warrior in between. Ok, it was just three but it felt like an eternity. How do people get ST’s to do that?

I guess we could call it the runoffs at this point. Round 10 brought yet another ST – It IS Adepts after all – in JME’s Monolizard. Either by design or happenstance, RT stuck with the SH and put his opponent down after getting the jump. Mono was kind enough to provide Tumult his AMAS in INI. Round 11 was Clark, an undefeated lunger but we helped him solve that. The next match was a DMobster striker, Scribbs, but the fight was a quick one. Chalk round 12 up to a stand-in, and round 13 was also Dmobster, this time one of his obnoxious total parries.

I think it was about this time that I had a good laugh at the TEABAG tourney table. Because I realized that, over this run so far, Resounding Tumult had practically NEVER hit where he was aiming. So, even though DMob (and all of RT’s future opponents) had already seen RT, there was just no chance they could guess his attack location.

Anyway, two extra damage crits on Lambret ended his tourney. Lambret was a good sport, though, teaching RT an ATT and a DEC skill which would undoubtedly come in handy. Then that previous AMAS in INI came in handy against Doc Steele’s Ghostfire, a LU who dodged well but not well or long enough. Always nice sending a warrior home managed by the good Doctor.

We have a potential final!

Because I practice at home, sitting in a chair and having fights read to me feels natural. So I sat down next to Madwand with no small measure of confidence, despite him giving me the “loser” finals chair. After all, Resounding Tumult had a loss to spare and, in my eyes anyway, his lunger Mr. Carter had a style disadvantage against my SL. I was pretty sure my guy had the speed to get the jump against a LU without too much effort, so I dropped the decise tactic to avoid any Lunger Responsiveness crap (here’s looking at you, Chief!). Well, imagine my horror as I listened to Riff Raff read not one, not two and not three… but eleven, count them, ELEVEN decise battle lines. I mean, seriously, have you heard Riff Raff read? Almost as bad as TUM’s Code Monkey debacle.

Resounding Tumult got the jump and put Madwand’s guy down, FINALLY hitting where he was aiming. Had I known that Madwand managed Legbiter, the only warrior to have put a loss on RT, I would have been a lot more worried sitting in that chair. Congratulations and condolences to Mad for his hard-fought runner up!

“Everything makes you mad.” – Howlin Wolf to JME

After a nice dinner Thursday night with Jerman & BoJerman, Kharadmon & BoKharadmon, Riff Raff, Paradox and a lot of wine, I took my sweet time getting rolling on Friday. I missed the delectable Embassy Suites brefas buffet that everyone else hit, so I headed over to see my favorite waitress Sai at the Denny’s across the street. Did I mention this spotlight is sponsored by Denny’s? Remember, “Great Food…Great Service…Great People…Every Time! ®”

Anyway, I wandered in and no one is at the diner counter. No one. Not a soul. Sure, a few people around at the tables and booths, but the counter is deserted. There’s like 30 stools sitting open at the counter. Ok, maybe nine. It’s not really THAT big. So, I wander down to the far end, but not quite the end, and sit down with one open stool to my right and like 50 open stools to my left. Order me a Grand Slam (who knew it was a harbinger?) and proceed to enjoy my brefas.

I’m maybe halfway through when, like in an Eastwood spaghetti western, the door creaks open and everyone stops to look up at the new guy. There…. there, standing in the doorway carefully looking around was, well, a geezer.

No, not THAT manager. Just a man. An old man.

And damn it all if that dillhole (thanks for that epithet, OAB) doesn’t shuffle down the 75 open counter seats on my left, then past me, and proceeds to scooch in to sit at the single effing seat directly to my right. Really? Really?! How does this guy not understand Man Etiquette? It’s like hitting the urinals. Leave a space. Leave as many spaces as humanly possible. I don’t need or want a pee buddy or a brefas buddy. If I did, I would have called him up and said, “Hey Geezer, hows bout we grab some grub at Denny’s and then maybe go piss later?” And before one of you do-gooders tries to tell me “maybe he was lonely and just wanted company”, he Never. Said. A. Word. Just sat down and started hacking like he was at the end of a Juiker’s Lung journey. No class.

To be clear, I am NOT comparing Denny’s to a urinal. This write up is sponsored by Denny’s®.

“We’re cooking now. ®” – Denny’s

I don’t do well in Tempe. Never have. Not at all. I’ve always had that feeling, so I went back and checked. Turns out, I don’t do well. In my opinion, it is far and away the hardest tourney of the year. So many good managers, often saving their best. I was surprised to find one year where I TC’d and I couldn’t figure out how that happened. Oh, yeah, the year Tempe was a mailer. Doesn’t count. So, in a good year, I typically board a flight out of Sky Harbor with maybe a couple 8-3’s in my pocket, on a rare year a 9-3.

So it was a bit of a surprise to have not one, two or even three warriors, but four actually reach the 15th round or higher. It was even more satisfying that they represented four different classes. If you count the additional 9-3 – and ought we not? – I went reasonably deep in 5 out of the 6 classes I entered. Unheard of!

“That’s an old school pervert right there.” – Kharadmon

Ahhhh, Deeders. A year ago in Tempe, I kept discovering raunchy doodles on my fights as I pulled them from the wire bin. I was mystified but eventually deduced them to likely (and allegedly) be the work of one Spudcraft. I guess I should have figured the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Anyway, I think it was early Sunday morning this past January when I got, effectively, my first diplo at a FTF. The concept hadn’t even occurred to me. But there it was: A hand-scrawled bit of poetry to me adorning the cover sheet of my fights. Common decency (and corporate sponsorship) does not allow me to reprint it here in full, or even in part (!), but, if you can imagine a limerick along the lines of “There once was a girl from Nantucket”, you’ll have the gist.

So, props to Deeders for a hand well-played. It was brilliant. It was like the gag where someone sticks their pointer finger in your chest and, when you look down to see what they’re pointing at, they run their finger up your chest and bonk your nose.

It was almost as good as the Dirty Deeder’s Blood Mary® which I continue to fervently hope didn’t have anything untoward in it.

For the record, Kharadmon’s quote had nothing to do with Deeders. But it fit.

Awards of the week

The Vladdites managed 8 awards for an award percentage just shy of 9%. Though we had no Runner Ups, a couple warriors got close enough to “Oooo” and “Ahhh” over a set of Wiggler Bass Lures™ that had Floyd’s celebrity endorsement. Ironically, one of those warriors was put out by none other than Deeders. The highly coveted TC prize, a Wiggler Personal Massager™, was well worth the trouble, according to Resounding Tumult who took one home.

The TVs represented a bevy of styles, including Lunging, Parry-Lunging, Parry-Riposting, Slashing, Wall of Steel and, under Floyd’s Theory of Tourney Optimization™, two Strikers.

Stats of the week

Overall, the team managed a 303-260-5-7 record or just shy of 54%. I also picked up 4 Stylemasters.

Best style: Slashers at 61%. A TC certainly helps.
Worst Style: Bashers at 36%. Thanks, Assur! Even PS’s beat them!
Best Class: Challengers at 64%.
Worst Class: With a single 1-3 entry in Freshmen – who was busting, no less – Freshmen is the only class I didn’t achieve > 50%.

Factoids that may only interest me

I. During his entire 16 round run, Resounding Tumult, who is 5’6”, met only four taller warriors, all of whom were prior to round 7. Not sayin’, just sayin’.

II. In the “What constitutes arena haute couture?” category, some interesting notes about the choices of our opponents. 68% of SL/STs sported nothing but a loincloth. 36% of LUs were in ALE/L. 28% of ABs were in APL/L. Total Parries opted for the fully dressed look, with 78% running either APA/F or APM/H. 55% of Wastes dripped APA/F. Each of these represents the highest observed values and commitment to fashion.

III. In the “most underrated weapon” category, the epee – despite being the best knockdown weapon in the game and a fine riposte enhancer to boot – was used by only 1% of our opponents.

IV. Perhaps because of the 1.2 million rookies, Team Vlad only matched with 4 warriors more than twice. In two instances, those matches facilitated an award. So, you’re welcome Kardasan and Horror Fiend! How about a little something for the effort?

Mr. United Global Services Member Travel Epilogue (R.I.P.)

This trip marked the end of an era as, following years of Covid-based neglect, my Global Services status ended on January 31st. Gone are the days of being invited by name to board the plane ahead of everyone up to, and including, the pilots. Gone are the Mercedes tarmac transfers when connections are tight. Gone are the days of getting handwritten thank-yous from said pilots on their business cards or in-person drop bys to shake hands. Gone are the halcyon days of the kids getting photographed in the cockpit with pilot hats on. I miss the days when I used to be nostalgic.

Brief Truths

A. Any tourney is a successful tourney when you can look at the wall and say, as Kharadmon did, “Well, there’s at least 30 warriors who knew we were here!”

B. There’s no shame in being put out by the eventual TC. There IS shame in being put out by “DA1” or “CM” warriors.

C. A really nice warrior learning all the right skills is a beautiful thing.

Ten things I think I think

1. I think my Bashers were just thoroughly terrible this time out. I think a 9 DEC BA, even a tank, has no business in rooks. I think it was embarrassing to have a basher receive all of his losses from the On Tap teams.

2. I think it’s time to ask when Axis Allied leadership will be handed over to Clan Deeders.

3. I think Aimed Blows using responsiveness is the final straw. I think it seems all styles are using responsiveness. I think it’s like an Oprah show where “You get some responsiveness! You get some responsiveness! You get some responsiveness!”

4. I think I need a process to note a strat change and revert to the original strat the next fight.

5. I think Book of Thomas’ Rush wasn’t kidding. I think Papaiz’s Lickety Split was too damn lickety. I think Papaiz’s LUs in rooks were ridiculously fast.

6. I think losing to Ignis was injury and then to Ignatius was insult.

7. I think in Rooks, I’ll take a weapon AB all day long against a FI AB.

8. I think facing a Slasher wielding a longspear makes for interesting reading.

9. I think protecting the legs against a lunger is a sound approach. I think protect locations against aimed blows are a formality without substance.

10. These are the other things I think I think:

a. I think everyone else’s aimed blows seemed to pull their backup weapons just fine.

b. Coffeenerdness: There is something to be said about a quaint, bohemian coffee shop within walking distance that plays Slaid Cleaves.

c. I think it’s a shame that Joe Momma and Momma, of Top Fives Joes, did not match.

d. I think Horror Fiend’s journey from 6-2 to Inits TC was inspiring.

e. I think my on-the-bubble Piker going in to his final match with a halberd was pretty funny.

f. I think people don’t care one iota whether they lack strength for the longsword… they’re using it.

g. I think I enjoyed Shop & Shove of Black Friday. I think I also enjoyed Crom! of Essential Arnie.

h. I think it was fun to smack around Doc Steele’s 4’11” TP in adepts… twice. I think it was apropos being put out by Howlin Wolf’s 4’11” TP who, of course, was running SH/SH.

i. Winenerdness: I think sharing a bottle of Caymus or Silver Oak (or both, on this trip) with friends is magical.

j. I think Boss Rat saying “You don’t want me in a customer service role” was hilarious but couldn’t fit it into Quotes of the Week.

k. I think a ridiculous number of my warriors’ exit fights were against allies.

l. I think it’s awkward how consistently Big Lake warriors get beaten. That said, I think their TPs are terrifying.

m. I think I wondered, “Who the heck trains wit on round 1 of rooks with an AB?” I think it was JME.

n. I think I need to understand how Doc Steele’s warriors manage to riposte and steal the initiative after my warriors’ first swing every damn time.

o. I think I’d appreciate understanding why Cheddar Goblin is so dang good.

p. I think it’s refreshing to see Howlin’ Wolf running AB’s in Adepts.

q. Obit of the Week: When you only run winners, you only can lose winners. This tourney’s winner loser was an 11-7(1)-9-21-21-5-11 LU with a TV and TC under his prodigious belt. Hellloooooo October!

Who I like in April

Uh…. Given I am writing this in May… I really, really like Resounding Tumult in April 😉.

Last Word Limerick (From 2022)

There once was a Duel Stud named Deeders
Whose alliance had a tragically Dense leader
Though his alliance was fake
That King of Big Lake
Earned a place at the Rookie’s Two-Seater!

Posted: Wed May 10, 2023 9:17 am

Vladgina, I hate that I actually look forward to reading your damn recaps.