DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 02/21/2018    Duedate: 03/06/2018

MALCORN ARENA

DM-15    TURN-840

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MOUSE
MARKS PARTY (489)
(15-5221) [14-5-0,124]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MOUSE                          SHIRAZ
MARKS PARTY (489)              WRATH OF GRAPES (540)
(15-5221) [14-5-0,124]         (15-5440) [7-1-1,65]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WINTERGREEN                    RIGID RICKIE
GREENWARDENS (244)             WEIRD STUDENTS (544)
(15-5272) [21-23-1,87]         (15-5485) [12-2-1,96]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

WEIRD STUDENTS (544)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. MARKS PARTY (489)           24
2. GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)         22      WEIRD STUDENTS (544)
3. AL BUMS 11 (556)            21      Unchartered Team
4. GREENWARDENS (244)          16
5. WRATH OF GRAPES (540)       12      WRATH OF GRAPES (540)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 BLADES OF DOOM (507)      20   9  2 69.0   1/ 1 WEIRD STUDENTS (544)      9  4 0
 2/ 2*WRATH OF GRAPES (540)     14   7  4 66.7   2/ 2 GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)       8  3 0
 3/ 3 WEIRD STUDENTS (544)      39  24  2 61.9   3/ 3 AL BUMS 11 (556)          7  5 1
 4/ 5 GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)       37  28  0 56.9   4/ 4*WRATH OF GRAPES (540)     5  2 1
 5/ 4 AL BUMS 11 (556)          29  22  3 56.9   5/ 0 MARKS PARTY (489)         3  1 0
 6/ 0 MARKS PARTY (489)         52  45  2 53.6   6- 6 BLADES OF DOOM (507)      2  0 0
 7/ 6 GREENWARDENS (244)       991 %1168 25 45.9   7/ 5 GREENWARDENS (244)        1 14 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     I try to be what I am -- Helpful. My manager, Gentleman, tells me I am very 
helpful to the team. He quotes my 8-6 Tournament record and my nine DM Titles (My 1st 
was as a 6-3 warrior against a 9-5-2 killer basher!) as results that have been helpful 
to Team Good Behavior.
     Now if YOU really want to be helpful, then I would suggest you not challenge or 
even fight me. Yes, I said that. My two reasons: first -- in all likelihood, you will 
lose; second -- in some likelihood, I could die.  Being a very helpful person, I want 
neither of those to occur, But I do have to say -- especially the 2nd!
     So good luck to everyone. May the force be with you.

                                          -- Helpful, DMIX

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  GOOD BEHAVIOR is no joke as it posted a 3-1-0 week advancing from 2nd 
place to 2nd place.  Hey everybody, watch out for OBEYS TEACH, who flew up 17 points 
in the rankings after mashing MADEIRA like a melon.  Keep your eye on this beast.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  TIDY TIM was defeated by 
LISON and drops 10 points.  It's a proud day for the MARKS PARTY stable, as their 
warrior, MOUSE, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed 
protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid WEIRD STUDENTS, please raise you 
hand.  Wow.  Does MALCORN really have that many liars?  Okay, so I may not be funny, 
but catch GOOD BEHAVIOR's act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at 
running from WEIRD STUDENTS.  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, 
WINTERGREEN would be president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win. 
In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, CARING went after WINTERGREEN, who was 
higher by 25 points.  Well, when the dust settled, CARING defeated WINTERGREEN.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Here's some advice:  warriors 
with little wit and will may encounter problems on the trail to the Isle.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  Good luck in 
next week's fights.  See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOUSE 5221                   14   5  0   124       MARKS PARTY (489)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VILENESS 5473                 8   2  2   101       BLADES OF DOOM (507)
 HELPFUL 5699                 14   5  0    97       GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)
 RIGID RICKIE 5485            12   2  1    96       WEIRD STUDENTS (544)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ALKALINE 5241                 8   6  0    89       MARKS PARTY (489)
 WINTERGREEN 5272             21  23  1    87       GREENWARDENS (244)
 LISON 5494                    7   0  0    86       MARKS PARTY (489)
 CARING 5731                   5   1  0    84       GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)
 THE SOLUTION 5729             6   0  2    70       AL BUMS 11 (556)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KOOL KERI 5515                7   4  0    66       WEIRD STUDENTS (544)
 BLUE RAM 5327                16  16  1    65       GREENWARDENS (244)
 SHIRAZ 5440                   7   1  1    65       WRATH OF GRAPES (540)
 TIDY TIM 5487                10   5  1    64       WEIRD STUDENTS (544)
 SUMMERTEETH 5674              6   5  0    62       AL BUMS 11 (556)
 40 OZ 5659                   10   3  0    58       AL BUMS 11 (556)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHEERFUL 5730                 5   2  0    54       GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)
-OBEDIANT 5695                 5   6  0    46       GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)
 SOH LAH TOA 5480              6   1  0    43       MARKS PARTY (489)
 NIMBLE NICKEL 5488            6   5  0    42       WEIRD STUDENTS (544)
 PINOT NOIR 5437               4   3  2    38       WRATH OF GRAPES (540)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACK FOX 5410                5  19  0    34       GREENWARDENS (244)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UMMAGUMMA 5692                6   2  1    33       AL BUMS 11 (556)
 UNDERWOOD 5435                5  12  0    27       GREENWARDENS (244)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OBEYS TEACH 5739              2   1  0    22       GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)
-MOSCATO 5438                  2   1  0    16       WRATH OF GRAPES (540)
 TREE ROOT 5743                1   1  0    13       GREENWARDENS (244)
 MADEIRA 5669                  1   1  1    11       WRATH OF GRAPES (540)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
READY ROCKER 5486       4  5 0 WEIRD STUDENTS 544   THE SOLUTION 5729     838   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Wintergreen, we had our matches and I was ever so lucky to win both. I am not so sure 
how, as you seem like a very fine warrior. -- Helpful

Helpful, I am proud of you. Your Duelmaster Title brings great honor to our whole Good 
Behavior team. -- Gentleman, Manager of Good Behavior

Pino Noir, luckily I swung rather than drank. -- Caring

Shiraz, I give you credit for being the better warrior and for the win. But I cannot 
become your humble and obedient servant. I shall try again. -- Obedient

I wanted to fight, but I guess the opportunities were too gloomy. Maybe next time? -- 
Cheerful

Helpful -- You may have won the fight, but people like me more. -- Wintergreen

Rigid Rickie -- Bend, dammit. -- Blue Ram

Kool Keri -- One-shotted!  The shame! -- Black Fox

Nimble Nickle -- Money always gets away from me. -- Underwood

Moscato -- Hey!  Were you trying to kill me or something? -- Tree Root

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CARING devastated WINTERGREEN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
PINOT NOIR won victory over BLACK FOX in a action packed 1 minute Challenge battle.
OBEYS TEACH demolished MADEIRA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
HELPFUL was bested by MOUSE in a popular 1 minute veteran's Title contest.
RIGID RICKIE savagely defeated CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 2 minute competition.
TIDY TIM was overpowered by LISON in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
ALKALINE bested SUMMERTEETH in a 1 minute gory competition.
BLUE RAM was handily defeated by KOOL KERI in a 1 minute uneven melee.
SHIRAZ vanquished UMMAGUMMA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
THE SOLUTION vanquished NIMBLE NICKEL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
CHEERFUL overpowered UNDERWOOD in a 1 minute uneven match.
40 OZ savagely defeated SOH LAH TOA in a exciting 2 minute brutal fight.
TREE ROOT devastated CONVICTED THIEF in a 3 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         LUNGING ATTACK    29 -  16 -  1      64  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         AIMED BLOW        17 -  10 -  0      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  13 -  3      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         TOTAL PARRY        1 -   3 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         WALL OF STEEL      3 -   9 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         SLASHING ATTACK    0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 840 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         6  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MOUSE 5221                 14   5  0  124 MARKS PARTY (489)
AIMED BLOW       HELPFUL 5699               14   5  0   97 GOOD BEHAVIOR (559)
BASHING ATTACK   THE SOLUTION 5729           6   0  2   70 AL BUMS 11 (556)
TOTAL PARRY      SOH LAH TOA 5480            6   1  0   43 MARKS PARTY (489)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WINTERGREEN 5272.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was RIGID RICKIE 5485.  The ten other most popular fighters were 40 OZ 5659, 
PINOT NOIR 5437, OBEYS TEACH 5739, MOUSE 5221, LISON 5494, ALKALINE 5241, CARING 
5731, HELPFUL 5699, KOOL KERI 5515, and SHIRAZ 5440.

The least popular fighter this week was TREE ROOT 5743.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were UNDERWOOD 5435, NIMBLE NICKEL 5488, UMMAGUMMA 5692, BLUE RAM 5327, 
SUMMERTEETH 5674, TIDY TIM 5487, MADEIRA 5669, BLACK FOX 5410, WINTERGREEN 5272, and 
SOH LAH TOA 5480.

                                CHALLENGES AND AVOIDS

To clarify:  You issue Challenges to warriors, but Avoid teams.  
To Challenge, write that warrior's name and ID# in the space provided. 
To Avoid, write the team's name and Team ID in that space. 
Make sure you include the ID!

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission. 

                      SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA

We have planned our summer FTF for July 13-15, 2018, in Arlington, Virginia, only 7 
miles on a quick Metro ride from Washington, D.C.!.  It will be held at the Holiday 
Inn Arlington at Ballston.  Room rates are $79 per night on 7/12 and 7/15 and $129 on 
7/13 and 7/14, 1-2 occupancy.  There's free wireless throughout the property as well 
as a fitness center, outdoor pool, and business center, as well as a resturant and bar 
inside the hotel.  There is no airport shuttle and parking is $7/day.  The rooms are 
blocked -- ask for the Reality Simulations block.  Reservations must be made by 6/12.  
(As always if you have issues making reservations, please let us know!)  

                       Hotel site:  http://www.hiarlington.com 

Look for the tournament info sheet and minioverviews some time in June.  We hope 
you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!

                                          -- RSI

                        TEAM AND CHARACTER MAINTENANCE SERVICE

     As a service to all managers, we offer team and character maintenance.  This 
option allows you to make sure your team or selected warriors will never miss a turn!

     Team Maintenance:  This will cause all warriors on that team to fight every 
     turn; if it's an AD arena, any new warriors who arrive on that team will 
     fight the turn they arrive.  In A.D. or in transfer arenas where you have 
     multiple teams, each team will need to separately be on Team Maintenance.  
     (The only exception is new warriors; they will not fight until they have had 
     their initial strategy input.)  

     Character Maintenance:  This will cause only that warrior to fight every 
     turn.  If the character graduates or changes arenas, he/she/it will stay on 
     Character Maintenance.

     In either case, you may submit strategy sheets for your warriors each turn, if 
you wish.  The Team/Character Maintenance will make sure your warriors fight each 
turn, and they will always use their most recently entered strategy.
     Remember that challenges, avoids, and challenge/if challenged strategies will not 
carry through from turn to turn.  These sections are only used on the turn they are 
entered.  In order to continually challenge or avoid you will need to submit a 
strategy sheet each time. 
     One other thing to remember about maintenance:  Maintenance is not something 
that you write on your turnsheet (like in demo tourneys).  In order to add or remove 
maintenance for a team or warrior, you must send a note to Customer Service.  If you 
just write things like this on your strategy sheet, they may or may not get done.  
Likewise, don't write it on your personal ads.  Please, please, please put it on a 
separate piece of paper with "Customer Service" written on the top.  If you don't, 
well, you can imagine.
     Thanks for your time.  Good luck in Duelmasters! -- Green Eyes

                             Mission to the Twisted Lands

                                     Episode One

     Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with 
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride.  He was a huge horse, a half-giant's 
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his 
shoulders and hips.  Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant, 
Keel Woodhaven.  Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up 
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
     It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.  
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently 
toward the tree-crowded coast.  The distant trees, not just pines, were green.  They 
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot 
springs in it.
     Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur.  It had a relaxed feel about it, the 
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun.  And 
the booze was excellent, of course.  He passed the arena at the edge of town, and 
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern.  So, 
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster?  Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful 
profession?  Then he noticed the team name:  Shewish Picnic.  He snorted.  That 
explained it, all right.  As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme, 
which was present in Home Guard as well.  It was sort of funny though.  He saw that 
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle.  Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet, 
though.
     They passed a small chicken ranch.  A rooster uttered an untimely crow.  At about 
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted.  Cussing, Keel hauled on 
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently 
frightened.  He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind 
him, looking frustrated.  At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside 
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
     Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted 
the horse's sweaty neck.  "You're okay now, friend.  I'll go take care of those 
bozos."
     As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some 
with swords and some with halberds.
     "Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
     "Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old 
Brown's butt.
     "Well damn!"  Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
     "So have you," the guard continued.
     "Yeah, thought so.  Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though."  Keel 
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.  
"Who are you guys?"
     "We are the Queen's Guard."
     "What?  Queen Gemra?  Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find 
the ***holes that shot him."
     "Sir, you are mistaken.  You will be taken to a doctor.  We will arrest the 
assailants."
     "Hey!  I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand.  Anyway, they shot my horse.  My 
HORSE!  I'm gonna get 'em."  Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
     Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of 
geese.  They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs 
and walked the fastest.  The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat 
Langerman.  And you are?"
     "Keel Woodhaven."
     "I've heard of you!  The Queen will want to meet you."
     "That's fine.  Let's stick to the sides of these buildings.  If they're still 
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
     They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail 
which jingled.  However, Bonsur had a lively night life.  Music and laughter came from 
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and 
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a 
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages.  So the sounds the guards made 
weren't too noticeable.
     Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch.  He was thinking that the bad guys 
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted.  They might have left clues, though.  
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and 
signed by a notorious crimelord.  Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies... 
personalized masks.  Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers.  Anything.  Witnesses, 
even.
     There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch.  It was full night 
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
     Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
     "Yup."
     "Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
     Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.  
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
     The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer 
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there.  Keel crouched a 
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint 
greenish glow.  He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
     A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little.  Keel 
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it.  He was good at tavern darts, 
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky.  The little 
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof.  There was a startled twitch 
from the half-seen form.  At that instant, Keel lunged across the street.  His long 
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds.  More bolts came out 
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
     Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to 
reload a crossbow.  The four men charged, yelling wildly.  Tucking his sword under his 
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged 
it.  After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely.  The roof sagged, 
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it.  Keel 
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
     There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an 
alley.  Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit.  Keel's prisoner started to try to get 
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against 
the wall.
     "Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
     "Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his 
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
     "I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said.  "There's a dead one here.  I think 
there were two more."  He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured 
arm.  "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch.  If you could get them for me?"
     They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
     "What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
     Keel shrugged.  "No clue.  Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."  
He listened.  "Your guys are coming back."
     "Yeah."
     The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at 
least there were no further injuries.  The group of them returned warily to the 
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old 
Brown's wound.  After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel 
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee.  The medic set 
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely 
handsome man.  Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be 
good looking.  That didn't mean they weren't competent, though.  Brat had done pretty 
well.
     The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts.  They all sat in the main 
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair, 
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head.  "All right," said Brat.  
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
     "Not on your life, pretty boy!"  The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard 
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close 
together.  He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly 
handsome Guardsmen.
     Keel leaned forward.  "You guys shot my horse."
     "Oh.  Sorry, didn't mean to do that.  We were just shooting at you."
     "Why?"
     "Glowing sword."
     "What?"
     "Duh, it's a magic sword!  We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured 
we could sell it so we followed you."
     The half-Shew snorted.  "The Dentless isn't magic.  It was in a Chaos Gate for 
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all.  All it does, is glow.  
And cut things."
     The bandit looked chagrined.  "But... it's got to be magic."
     "Ain't.  Sorry kid."
     After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace.  Queen 
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and 
luscious curves.  She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted 
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate.  He entertained her with the story of his 
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her 
appreciation.  She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart 
belonged to another, always and forever.
     
                                      * * * * * 

                           This is a continuing adventure.  
         Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!