Date   : 02/21/2015    Duedate: 03/06/2015


DM-16    TURN-767

This Weeks Top Honors


(16-6259) [15-5-1,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

GOLDEN TONGUE                  VEYRON
(16-6259) [15-5-1,111]         (16-6122) [3-2-0,52]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

PUNNY AMINALS (305)            CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)
(16-6126) [15-43-0,88]         (16-6248) [6-4-1,65]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. MENTORS RESTORE (634)       40
2. BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (609)   33      ANGELIC KNIGHTS (635)
3. IDIOT'S INC (646)           24      Unchartered Team
4. SPEED DEMONS (624)          24
5. CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)        13      GLORIOUS TEAM #16 (647)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 ANGELIC KNIGHTS (635)      9   2  0 81.8   1/ 2 CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)     11  4 1
 2/ 2 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  935 446 24 67.7   2/ 1 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)  10  3 1
 3/ 5*GLORIOUS TEAM #16 (647)    2   1  0 66.7   3/ 3 BLOOD ON THE TRACK (609)  5  6 0
 4/ 4*SPEED DEMONS (624)         3   2  0 60.0   4/ 4 PUNNY AMINALS (305)       3 11 0
 5/ 3 BLOOD ON THE TRACK (609) 100  78  7 56.2   5/ 7*GLORIOUS TEAM #16 (647)   2  1 0
 6/ 0*BLACK COLOSSUS (637)       1   1  0 50.0   6- 5*WORLD BLADES (614)        1  0 0
 7/ 6 CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)      24  29  3 45.3   7/ 9*SPEED DEMONS (624)        1  1 0
 8/ 7 PUNNY AMINALS (305)      944 %1280 29 42.4   8/ 6 ANGELIC KNIGHTS (635)     1  1 0
 9- 8*WORLD BLADES (614)         4   6  2 40.0   9/ 0*MENTORS RESTORE (634)     1  3 0
10/ 9*IDIOT'S INC (646)          1   5  0 16.7  10/ 8*IDIOT'S INC (646)         1  5 0
11/ 0*MENTORS RESTORE (634)      1   7  0 12.5  11/ 0*BLACK COLOSSUS (637)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     "Insurgents?  New Regime?  What are you talking about?  Are you sure you heard
correctly?" asked the king as he sat properly on his throne counting his golden egg
production for the week.  "No way can those Punny Aminals know anything about stuff
like that.  Never!  Why, they are just a bunch of....  Well, we need not get into
that.  But we do need to find out what they are really talking about.  I have sent a
missive to my good friend, Mannequin The Hobbit, the sneakiest fellow alive, asking
his help in spying on those Aminals.  Something is up, I suspect, and I cannot allow
anything to disrupt my golden earnings, can I?  How else would I be able to pay you
gladiators the fine salary that I do?  Gold Piece, thanks for checking on those
Punnys and bringing this to my attention.  The hobbit will take it from here."
     Gold Piece left the Golden Gladiator throne room with a heavy heart and lots on
his mind.  He didn't think King Midas believed him or, was something up involving
Midas that he just didn't want known?  Why would Midas keep it from his loyal
warriors?  Nah, probably not that, but something was up; he could feel it in his gut.
"I gotta talk this over with the guys."  He thought as he hustled next door to The
Golden Gladiator guild house and training rooms.
     When he entered the dining room he saw all his fellow gladiators--Golden Flash,
Golden Tongue, Goldfinch, and Golden Gloves--and an odd-looking visitor.  Really odd.
He was kind of old and roly-poly looking with white hair and a long healthy beard.
His clothing was all red and white with big black boots.  He looked like a far
Northerner.  But most amazingly, he had a broomstick propped next to his chair.  A
broomstick?!  The Northerner, while chewing on his roasted chicken drumstick, looked
up at Gold Piece's arrival and saw the golden warrior was glaring at him in rather
confused amazement.
     The roly-poly fellow popped up and said, "Oh, sorry; have I got your seat?
Great food here.  Oh, the broomstick?  Great quarterstaff and excellent travelling
device.  You ought to try it sometime.  Hello.  I am Wenceslas.  Actually Good King
Wenceslas to some.  Grab that other seat and lets all finish chowing down.  Then we
can talk.  Really talk."
     Later, they settled in the lounging area, and Wenceslas started explaining.  "I
was minding my own business at Christmas time, making sure all the good little boys
and girls received a lovely present when my I-phone buzzer went off."
     "Your I what?" interrupted Golden Tongue.  "It buzzed?"
     "Oh, yeah," responded Wenceslas, "my I-phone.  It is kind of a special gizmo
from another time that I don't think I can explain to you guys.  Kinda like my
broomstick is special, too.  Anyway, the phone buzzes me when there is some kind of
expected bad hoop-ti-do about to go on somewhere in time in the worlds.  It buzzed.
I connected it to my broomstick console and after a near twelve hour ride, here I am.
All I know is that something bad, meaning life-threatening to multiple people, is
about to happen here in or near Willaf.  My duty is to help.  But I never know what
help means.  It could be to help stop it from happening.  It could be to help make
sure it happens.  It could be to help take good care of any unfortunates involved.  I
just don't know.  I only know something big could possibly be about to happen, and I
am here to help stop it, start it, or take care of unfortunates involved in it."
     "Holy cow!" exclaimed Gold Piece.  "After talking to Midas, I think I know that
something big is going down right here in Willaf and Midas and Those Punny Aminals
and someone named Mannequin The Hobbit and now Good King Wenceslas and we Golden
Gladiators are involved!"
     They all stared at each other in complete surprise.  Finally, Golden Gloves
said, "Well, what are we going to do now?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     She was tall for a woman, and she moved like a gladiator.  The glance she cast
around the common room of the Punny Aminals' guildhouse was disapproving.  "Doesn't
anyone CLEAN this place?"
     "Ah.  Um.  We keep getting women on the team, and they keep dying."
     "So?  Men made this mess, men should clean it up.  Now, if you want my help."
     "We'll clean it in the morning, Moonjumper."  Whip hesitated.  No one had warned
him that the Lord--or should it be Lady--Protector was difficult.  He looked around,
trying to see the room as she did.  It WAS... cluttered.  Old newsletters on the
floor--for insulation, of course, and when they got a carpet, it could go right on
top.  Carpets had padding underneath, didn't they?  Dirty dishes on the table, he
avoided looking at those.  Some of them were OLD dirty dishes.  There was, perhaps, a
bit of a smell.  Dust, you couldn't do anything about dust, it would ALWAYS get in.
Sofa's dirty socks, yeah, those should go.  "First thing in the morning."
     She fixed him with a stare cold enough to have come direct from the Northern
Glacier.  "Do it NOW.  I'm not bringing a guest into this pig pen."
     Notton D'Ball twitched.  "I don't think we have an extra room.  Just the one
that you--"
     "Fool's Gold will share my room.  If he is willing to come to this... place.
Clean it up, Whip."
     "I'm not sure we should invite, well, someone from the Golden Gladiators--"
     "You want experienced hands?  Fool and I have shared daring and danger.  I trust
him.  More than you.  Who could trust someone who lives in this... mess?"

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Well, well, well.  This is my eleventh (Yes a massive 11!) Duelmaster crown, and
my last.  The Commission has finally recognized my greatness and knighted me Lord
Protector Of The Lands.  That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?  King And Lord
Protector Golden Flash
     Yes, it surely does.  And I deserve every bit of it. I am such s fine champion.
     I hesitate to reveal my lofty makeup as the likelihood is that there will be
many, many clones.  But none could be the King that I am.  None.  So I shall reveal.
Born 16-19-12-3-15-9-10 TP good endu/great damage
Trained to 19-21-12-5-17-10-11 great/great
35-15-0 arena, 11 DM Crowns, no tournaments
skill learn rate a lofty 0.69
No ratings (unless I learned a parry in this last, yet to be revealed, fight)
Clean and pure.
Weapons?  What for?
0-26-0 with shields
0-4-2 BS
Swinging is not my thing.
     So there you have it.  My last column.  I know you are sad.  After all, you are
losing your King.
          King And Lord Protector Golden Flash, DMXI

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly WILLAF games.  Former top team GOLDEN GLADIATORS was 
unseated this week as CHUCKS' PINUPS moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top spot 
with a 2-3-0 record for the round.  PAPA'S BANKBOOK caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested GOLDEN GLOVES and was awarded 26 
points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, PAPA'S BANKBOOK put 
down GOLDEN GLOVES, causing him to lose 74 points of recognition in the process.  Due 
to his absence and inability to defend the throne, GOLDEN FLASH has lost the title of 
Duelmaster.  This time victory fell to the grasp of the usurper.  All hail GOLDEN 
TONGUE, Duelmaster of WILLAF!  Informants "close" to the city champion have told me 
that he never fights without pantyhose on beneath his armor.  Watch out!   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  I saw one fighter that warriors 
avoided when this week's challenge seeking began.  BLOOD ON THE TRACKS is feared.  
This much I can say.  Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was that 
spent the better part of last week avoiding BLOOD ON THE TRACKS.  Indeed it was 
GOLDEN GLADIATORS.  Mighty fighters cannot but expect competition from those below.  
WHIP SAWYER take warning!  You have more than a few enemies in WILLAF.  A match that 
raised a few eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA posted 
a challenge against the more highly recognized SOFA'YAM.  The results, you ask?  
Well, the firebrand GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA was bested by SOFA'YAM.  Remember warriors, 
this is the discipline of steel.   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  My hearty congratulations PAPA'S BANKBOOK, for thy revenge upon 
GOLDEN GLOVES, slayer of thy fallen comrade.  Next time he will know better, eh?  
Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears arms.  One thing is sure, better a 
dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till next we 
meet remember:  a fool flies into a rage quickly and often.  The wise are angered by 
the same thing only once.  Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOLDEN TONGUE 6259           15   5  1   111       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EARLY ONE MORNING 6010       22   9  0   104       BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (609)
 TEMPEST STORM 6200            6   3  0   102       CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)
 PAPA'S BANKBOOK 6250         11   7  1   101       BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (609)
 RIGHTEOUS 6238                8   2  0    94       ANGELIC KNIGHTS (635)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHIP SAWYER 6126             15  43  0    88       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 SOFA'YAM 6128                15  42  0    87       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 GOLDEN GLOVES 6173           17  13  2    78       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA 6248        6   4  1    65       CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DFEM 0013 6342                3   1  2    53       CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)
 VEYRON 6122                   3   2  0    52       SPEED DEMONS (624)
 TRAMP BACKSTOP 6362           2   1  0    41       GLORIOUS TEAM #16 (647)
 AUDREY HEPBURN 6202           6   3  0    35       CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOLD PIECE 6344               4   2  0    30       GOLDEN GLADIATORS (362)
 CARMEN MIRANDA 6343           2   1  0    27       CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)
-HALIFAX 6016                  2   3  1    25       WORLD BLADES (614)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NOTTON D'BALL 6332            6   5  0    23       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 OLD CANAL 6337                5   2  0    23       BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (609)
 BUM BULL 6334                 4   6  1    19       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 MANA 6352                     1   0  0    19       MENTORS RESTORE (634)
-SUMMERSIDE 6220               1   0  0    15       WORLD BLADES (614)
 DINA TITUS 6358               1   1  0    12       IDIOT'S INC (646)
-GLORY 6236                    1   0  0    10       ANGELIC KNIGHTS (635)
 N. O. PUNDY 6367              1   1  0     4       PUNNY AMINALS (305)
 TWO 6267                      1   1  0     4       BLACK COLOSSUS (637)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
VOTER 3 6370            0  1 0 IDIOT'S INC 646      HIGH ELF              767  NONE
VOTER 4 6371            0  1 0 IDIOT'S INC 646      STONE GOLEM           767  NONE
BLOOD 6353              0  1 0 MENTORS RESTORE 634  BANDIT PRINCE         767  NONE
RUM 6351                0  1 0 MENTORS RESTORE 634  STONE GOLEM           767  NONE
WHO CARES? 6354         0  1 0 MENTORS RESTORE 634  ARENAMASTER KHAR      767  NONE

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
RUSTY NEALES 6289       4 11 0 PUNNY AMINALS 305    PAPA'S BANKBOOK 6250  764   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Whip Sawyer -- Whatever would I have done without you to spar with me and be my
target dummy.  Thank you. -- King And Lord Protector Golden Flash

Veteran Merc -- Thanks for being there and being the one to propel me to graduation.
-- Goldfinch (flitting around excitedly)

For those interested:  Goldfinch = 15-5-5-11-17-10-21 Aimed Blow, with an amazing
skill learn rate of 2.55. (for an 11 wit) -- The Golden Gladiator Publicist

Papa's Bankbook -- Time for you to make a deposit, don't you think?  I have drained
you thoroughly in our three battles.  (3-0 Golden Gloves.) -- Golden Gloves

Convicted Assassin -- Thanks for chatting with me.  And for the easy win, too. --
Golden Tongue

Tramp Backstop -- You jiggling jerk!  You embarrassed me in front of my teammates,
making me the only Golden Gladiator loser.  I hope you choke on rotten moonshine. --
Gold Piece

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  Gold. -- Midas

Our congratulations to Golden Flash (glad to see YOU go) and Goldfinch (an uppity
little bird). -- Whip Sawyer, for the Punny Aminals, before Jorja can come along and
say something "polite"

One-four, and all because the new guy got lucky.  Bummer. -- Whip Sawyer

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WHO CARES? was butchered by ARENAMASTER KHARAK in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
VOTER 3 was slaughtered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
VOTER 4 was put to death by STONE GOLEM in a popular 3 minute Dark Arena match.
BLOOD was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
RUM was assassinated by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
TRAMP BACKSTOP devastated NOTTON D'BALL in a 2 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
TEMPEST STORM overpowered WHIP SAWYER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA was unbelievably bested by SOFA'YAM in a 5 minute competition.
GOLD PIECE won victory over OLD CANAL in a action packed 6 minute Challenge duel.
CARMEN MIRANDA vanquished BUM BULL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
DINA TITUS viciously subdued N. O. PUNDY in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fight.
GOLDEN GLOVES was overpowered by PAPA'S BANKBOOK in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
RIGHTEOUS was luckily beaten by EARLY ONE MORNING in a 2 minute master's competition.
GOLDEN TONGUE demolished M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided Title brawl.
DFEM 0013 was handily defeated by CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 1 minute uneven fight.
AUDREY HEPBURN was overpowered by VEYRON in a action packed 1 minute uneven struggle.
TWO was devastated by MANA in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         AIMED BLOW        23 -  14 -  1      62  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -   9 -  1      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -  10 -  1      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         TOTAL PARRY       20 -  20 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK    13 -  13 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         WALL OF STEEL     10 -  14 -  1      42  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         BASHING ATTACK     4 -   6 -  2      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   1 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 767 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      EARLY ONE MORNING 6010     22   9  0  104 BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (609)
LUNGING ATTACK   TEMPEST STORM 6200          6   3  0  102 CHUCKS' PINUPS (631)
WALL OF STEEL    PAPA'S BANKBOOK 6250       11   7  1  101 BLOOD ON THE TRACKS (609)
BASHING ATTACK   RIGHTEOUS 6238              8   2  0   94 ANGELIC KNIGHTS (635)
AIMED BLOW       VEYRON 6122                 3   2  0   52 SPEED DEMONS (624)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WHIP SAWYER 6126.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA 6248.  The ten other most popular fighters were RIGHTEOUS 
6238, VOTER 4 6371, OLD CANAL 6337, DINA TITUS 6358, GOLDEN TONGUE 6259, TRAMP 

The least popular fighter this week was GOLD PIECE 6344.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were TWO 6267, DFEM 0013 6342, GOLDEN GLOVES 6173, N. O. PUNDY 6367, BUM 
BULL 6334, WHIP SAWYER 6126, NOTTON D'BALL 6332, RUM 6351, VOTER 3 6370, and WHO 
CARES? 6354.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: