DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/26/2017    Duedate: 05/09/2017

LAPUR ARENA

DM-29    TURN-810

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

POKEY, MON!
ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
(29-6158) [15-6-0,112]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FILLETED MINION                POSITION IS EMPTY
SATAN'S BBQ (506)              
(29-6107) [15-1-1,130]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

XUR                            INSULT TO INQUIRY
LIVING DEAD (45)               ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
(29-261) [14-10-1,93]          (29-6159) [13-7-0,69]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

LIVING DEAD (45)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CARDOW HUNTERS (359)        49
2. ALMOST EXACTLY (20)         30      SATAN'S BBQ (506)
3. SATAN'S BBQ (506)           22      Unchartered Team
4. COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)       0
5. DELPHINUS (502)              0       (153)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 SATAN'S BBQ (506)         26   4  1 86.7   1/ 1 LIVING DEAD (45)         10  5 0
 2- 2 DELPHINUS (502)           10   3  0 76.9   2/ 4 ALMOST EXACTLY (20)       8  5 0
 3/ 3 ALMOST EXACTLY (20)      431 345 25 55.5   3- 2 COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)    6  1 2
 4- 5 ARGONAUTS (188)          241 205 10 54.0   4/ 6 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)      4 10 1
 5/ 4 LIVING DEAD (45)          64  55  2 53.8   5/ 7 SATAN'S BBQ (506)         2  0 0
 6- 6 COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)    24  24  3 50.0   6- 3 ARGONAUTS (188)           2  3 0
 7/ 7 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)     876 %1119 19 43.9   7- 5 DELPHINUS (502)           1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in LAPUR!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Cut this out and put it in your 
scrapbooks, CARDOW HUNTERS!  'Cause they got 4-1-1 and moved up to 4th!  MVP award 
for LOG-STICKER?  CARDOW HUNTERS' proud of him after beating CAPTURED ORC and getting 
17 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  SHOCK AND AWWW got smashed by WIGHT, and 
lost 8 points!  This Duelmaster is like something else!  POKEY, MON! stopped XUR dead 
in his tracks!  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep.  
They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  ARGONAUTS was the most avoided 
team.  Is a 241-205-10 record really that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are 
ALMOST EXACTLY?  ARGONAUTS, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them to 
accept an invitation!  Like, is NIGHT STALKER popular, or what?  He was challenged 
the most in all of LAPUR!  He's got a 11-13-1, is that good?   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  Hey you guys, don't you think your 
families would like to hear from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really 
should stop.  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 POKEY, MON! 6158             15   6  0   112       ALMOST EXACTLY (20)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FILLETED MINION 6107         15   1  1   130       SATAN'S BBQ (506)
-GAMMA DELPHINI 6059          10   3  0   126       DELPHINUS (502)
-CYBERNAUT 3568               21   6  0    99       ARGONAUTS (188)
 WIGHT 6072                   11   7  0    94       LIVING DEAD (45)
 XUR 261                      14  10  1    93       LIVING DEAD (45)
-SHE DAISY 4774                9   5  0    92       COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HELLAPENO POPPER 6108        11   3  0    90       SATAN'S BBQ (506)
 KNIGHTMARE 264               14  10  0    89       LIVING DEAD (45)
-DIABOLICUS 3442              21  13  0    82       ARGONAUTS (188)
 SHOCK AND AWWW 6144          11  11  0    72       ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
-CRUSH LARSSON 3710            9   7  0    70       ARGONAUTS (188)
 INSULT TO INQUIRY 6159       13   7  0    69       ALMOST EXACTLY (20)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 G.I. DON'T KNOW 6162         11   7  0    63       ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
-GRACE ROGERS 4768             7   4  0    62       COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)
-ARCH RIVAL 3685              10   8  1    61       ARGONAUTS (188)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EVIL EYE 265                 13  11  0    55       LIVING DEAD (45)
 WOLFBITER 6157               10  12  1    51       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 SURESHOT 6141                 8  21  1    51       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 RAINSTORM 6142                7  22  0    51       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
-COUP DE GRACE 3764            8   4  0    48       ARGONAUTS (188)
 NIGHT STALKER 262            11  13  1    47       LIVING DEAD (45)
 LOG-STICKER 6172              7   9  0    46       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BOBBIE ANN MASON 6182         2   0  2    23       COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)
-JOEY FEEK 6176                1   0  0    15       COUNTRY GIRLS X3 (414)
 BEAST IN SHOW 6174            1   0  0     7       ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
 MUDD 6195                     0   1  0     1       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CAPTURED ORC            0  0 0                      WOLFBITER 6157        810  NONE
MIRANDA LAMBERT 4771    5  5 1 COUNTRY GIRLS X3 414 ARCH RIVAL 3685       806  REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Den -- That was some personal ad!  Eat a Snickers! -- Vlad
Vlad -- Why? -- Den
Den -- Because you're not you when you're hungry! -- Vlad
*  Den eats a Snickers *
Better? -- Vlad
Yes. -- Medea

Median -- Very proud of you for being able to mimic what it took Den 30 years to come 
up with.  You know, the whole Darkfart thing.  I let him continue to use it because I 
want him to feel better about his accomplishments in this game and that is one of his 
few.  Yes it's sophomoric.  Yes it's bathroom humor.  It's the little things, right?  
You, on the other hand, just sound like a pathetic knock off.  Try to be original like 
I just was.  Median, because you are standing still while others move fast all around 
you.  Median, because I am a nice guy and didn't want to call you a below average 
manager.  You get the point. -- DD
P.S. Good to see that you now have a working computer in your mother's basement!  
Since your post script (that is what P.S. stands for and average people like you don't 
seem to know that) was a piss poor attempt to levy insults at me based on the world 
outside of Alastari I'll do likewise.  I don't know where you are from and I don't 
care.  You aren't important enough for me to look into that.  Guess I can't insult you 
with generalizations about the state in which you live.  Aside from the rat's nest 
that is your mother's basement that is.  I am making that assumption since a simple 
down challenge brought you so much angst.  You aren't in Andor anymore!  (See, here I 
played on your commentary last turn by poking fun at your silliness in invoking 
generalities about Kansas.  I went a step further by paraphrasing a common saying, 
replacing Kansas with Andor, while invoking commentary on your state in the make 
believe world of Alastari.  Felt I better explain that one to you.  Witty comments are 
often difficult for people like you to interpret!)

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SHOCK AND AWWW was devastated by WIGHT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
G.I. DON'T KNOW demolished NIGHT STALKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
EVIL EYE was viciously subdued by INSULT TO INQUIRY in a 3 minute Challenge contest.
POKEY, MON! savagely defeated XUR in a 1 minute master's Title competition.
KNIGHTMARE was devastated by FILLETED MINION in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HELLAPENO POPPER handily defeated VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
RAINSTORM vanquished CAPTURED ORC in a 2 minute gruesome uneven duel.
WOLFBITER assassinated CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute gory uneven duel.
SURESHOT overpowered BOND SERVANT in a 1 minute uneven match.
LOG-STICKER overpowered CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BEAST IN SHOW subdued MUDD in a 3 minute amateur's competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL      1 -   0 -  1     100  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         AIMED BLOW         5 -   1 -  0      83  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   3 -  0      75  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         TOTAL PARRY        8 -   4 -  0      67  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  10 -  1      60  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK    49 -  37 -  3      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         BASHING ATTACK    11 -  20 -  0      35  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   8 -  0      27  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  12 -  0      25  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 810 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   POKEY, MON! 6158           15   6  0  112 ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
SLASHING ATTACK  FILLETED MINION 6107       15   1  1  130 SATAN'S BBQ (506)
BASHING ATTACK   XUR 261                    14  10  1   93 LIVING DEAD (45)
PARRY-LUNGE      INSULT TO INQUIRY 6159     13   7  0   69 ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is XUR 261.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
INSULT TO INQUIRY 6159.  The ten other most popular fighters were EVIL EYE 265, 
POKEY, MON! 6158, RAINSTORM 6142, BEAST IN SHOW 6174, WIGHT 6072, G.I. DON'T KNOW 
6162, FILLETED MINION 6107, LOG-STICKER 6172, HELLAPENO POPPER 6108, and WOLFBITER 
6157.

The least popular fighter this week was KNIGHTMARE 264.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were XUR 261, NIGHT STALKER 262, SHOCK AND AWWW 6144, MUDD 6195, SURESHOT 
6141, WOLFBITER 6157, HELLAPENO POPPER 6108, LOG-STICKER 6172, FILLETED MINION 6107, 
and G.I. DON'T KNOW 6162.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

POKEY, MON! (29-6158) ALMOST EXACTLY (20)
FILLETED MINION (29-6107) SATAN'S BBQ (506)
KNIGHTMARE (29-264) LIVING DEAD (45)

                                CHALLENGES AND AVOIDS

To clarify:  You issue Challenges to warriors, but Avoid teams.  
To Challenge, write that warrior's name and ID# in the space provided. 
To Avoid, write the team's name and Team ID in that space. 
Make sure you include the ID!

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission.