DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 10/05/2017    Duedate: 10/18/2017

NIYTYOLE ISLAND ARENA

DM-33    TURN-815

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BONESNAPPER
FIEND FOLIO (684)
(33-8794) [9-4-0,110]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

IN THE CLOSET                  AUGUST LUPTON
THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)         UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)
(33-8652) [19-9-1,146]         (33-9042) [2-0-0,18]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ZAEBOS                         AANA STORMHAIR
THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)      OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
(33-8548) [21-24-3,95]         (33-8965) [5-1-0,60]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

SLORBUST (681)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OBSIDIAN HALL (192)         51
2. BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)       40      VICIOUS DELITE (695)
3. THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)      40      Unchartered Team
4. D'ORKS (694)                36
5. NYE MAULERS (269)           33      UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)      7   3  0 70.0   1/ 1 SLORBUST (681)            9  5 1
 2/ 2 VICIOUS DELITE (695)      45  30  1 60.0   2/ 8 THE BLOODGUARDS (689)     9  6 0
 3/ 4 SLORBUST (681)           101  71  3 58.7   3/12 FIEND FOLIO (684)         8  5 1
 4/ 3 FORCE OF FIVE (690)       68  49  4 58.1   4/ 5 THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)    8  6 0
 5/ 6 THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)   103  75  4 57.9   5/10 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)     8  7 1
 6/ 7 THE BLOODGUARDS (689)     54  41  6 56.8   6/ 2 FORCE OF FIVE (690)       8  7 1
 7/ 5 FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)     35  27  1 56.5   7/ 3 HE BE GBS (693)           8  7 1
 8/ 8 FIEND FOLIO (684)         58  48  1 54.7   8/11 WAR COUNCIL (669)         8  7 0
 9-10 DYSTOPIAN OVERLORD (667) 149 134 10 52.7   9/ 9 D'ORKS (694)              8  7 0
10/ 9 HE BE GBS (693)           51  46  5 52.6  10/ 4 VICIOUS DELITE (695)      7  3 0
11/11 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)      596 544 41 52.3  11/14*UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)     7  3 0
12/12 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)    822 804 74 50.6  12- 6 DYSTOPIAN OVERLORD (667)  6  4 0
13/16 THE MEANIES (680)         15  15  0 50.0  13/13 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       6  9 0
14-13 BAD COMPANY (145)        382 386 42 49.7  14/ 7 THE DEMONIC PICKLE (674)  6  9 0
15/15 BRASH BROS XMAS (662)    169 174 18 49.3  15/19 NYE MAULERS (269)         4  6 0
16/14 BAD BREAD (95)           327 337 21 49.2  16/16 BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     4  8 0
17/17 THE ILLEARTH (265)       326 388 25 45.7  17/18 THE ILLEARTH (265)        4 11 1
18-18 XXX BANDITS (614)        146 179  9 44.9  18/15 FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)     3  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-20 DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)    62  86  1 41.9  19-17 BAD COMPANY (145)         2  3 0
20/21 NYE MAULERS (269)        226 328 38 40.8  20/22 BAD BREAD (95)            2  4 0
21/24 D'ORKS (694)              37  61  3 37.8  21-23 XXX BANDITS (614)         1  2 0
22/23 WAR COUNCIL (669)         46  77  3 37.4  22/21 THE MEANIES (680)         1  3 0
23/22 THE DEMONIC PICKLE (674)  92 155  6 37.2  23-20 DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)    1  4 0
24-25*M IS FOR MEGA (683)        2  10  1 16.7  24-25*M IS FOR MEGA (683)       0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     The alley was dimly lit and still damp from the day's rain.  A short pudgy man 
made is way to an unmarked steel door, his footsteps echoing off the walls.  He 
knocked twice on the door and waited, nervouly creasing the paper in his hands.  Faint 
calliope music could be heard coming from the directions of the street.
     The door opened into a smoky room crowded with colorful racks of costumes and 
various pieces of oddly mismatched furniture.  The man made his way through the 
clutter to a long table lit by a single bare light bulb where a small group of people 
were gathered.
     "Well, it's not my fault," said a lanky man in a black tank top and jeans who was 
leaning back in his chair with his boot on the table.  "I just need a proper leading 
lady.  Plus, the writing stinks."
     The woman next to him rolled her eyes and took a drag from her cigarette.  She 
was pretty, or at least used to be.  She rested the cigarette between her lips and 
bent down to adjust her hose.
     "Maybe you should put on a dress and do both leading parts yourself," she 
murmured.
     "That's not a bad idea!"  The man in black exclaimed sarcastically.
     "Stop bickering and come up with some ideas to make money," came a raspy voice, 
"or we'll all be acting as panhandlers."
     The pudgy man stepped into the circle of light.
     "Oi, Uyphy!" greeted the man in black.  "I hope you have some good news."
     "I may have a moneymaking idea," said Uyphy, and smoothed out the paper he had 
been holding in the center of the table.
     Everyone crowded in to read the flyer.  The man in black kicked his feet off the 
table and straightened up in his chair.  One of the men let out a long low whistle.
     "No."  The raspy voice stated flatly.  "It's too dangerous.  People get killed 
doing that."
     "Only if you don't know what you're doing," said the man in black.  "Besides, if 
they're recruiting random people, then they must not be very good."
     "That settles it, then," Uyphy said.  "We'll fight in the arena to re-open our 
theater!"
     Unease spread throughout the group.  Uyphy smile dto himself as his thoughts 
drifted off.
     "Imagine it," he thought.  "Come one!  Come all!  To Uyphy's Follies!  You'll 
laugh, you'll love... you'll die!"

               ********************************************************

                                 Niytyole Open Rules

The Niytyole Open contest will begin on turn 816 and run for 7 consecutive turns 
(concluding on turn 822, I know Dorkio has trouble counting).  You need do nothing to 
be part of this contest, all teams are competing whether they like it or not.  That is 
the beauty of an open contest.  You will score points by the following:

                 Current Top Team     3
                 Stylemaster          1 (ST, LU, AB, TP, WS)
                 Stylemaster          2 (PR, BA, SL, PS, PL)
                 2 Stylemasters       1 bonus points
                 3 Stylemasters       3 bonus points
                 4 Stylemasters       5 bonus points
                 5 Stylemasters       7 bonus points
                 Kill                 2
                 DA Kill              3
                 AA Kill              3
                 Bloodfeud Kill       1 bonus points
                 Bloodfeud Win        1 bonus points
                 Wins                 1 per
                 5-0                  5 bonus points
                 This Week's Fav      1
                 Teams on the Move    3-2-1-1-1

                 Penalties
                 -3 for each warrior not fought
                 -1 for each turn with an unrevenged bloodfeud
                 -5 for being noted as the team with the most avoids

The team with the most points after 7 turns is declared the Niytyole Open Champion.  
Not only does this lucky manager get bragging rights for an eternity, but they also 
get a choice of two awesome prizes.  The first choice is 5 RU certificates.  The 
second option is to have Den be their "delivery boy" at the January Face-to-Face in 
Tempe on Saturday from 9am to 2pm.  Once every ten minutes Den will make a run between 
your table and the RSI table to handle things like delivering your fight results, 
bringing up your strat changes, or maybe you just have a note you want delivered to 
Sandy, Den will run that up for you.  Maybe you just need your pencil sharpened, Den 
will skip to the front of the room and get that done for you.  The Allied Axis is so 
confident that they can win this contest with little effort they are willing to 
sacrifice the dignity of their High Priest as assurance they will win.  To be sure 
everyone understands who the Allied Axis is, this is the team/manager listing:

       Big Lake Bandits       Den                High Priest
       Bad Company            Bill               Chief Justice
       The Illearth           Philthy Phil       9th in Command
       Nye Maulers            Crambus            Head Court Jester
       Ravaging Lords         General Ikillu     General of the Northern Armies

Points will be updated each week via Team Spotlight.  If you note an error, please let 
Den know.  It will be taken into consideration but not necessarily corrected; as 
everyone knows, the AA makes very few mistakes that are unintentional. 

Good luck, this contest may be the most difficult thing you have ever attempted.  
Well, I'm guessing that Womanta has difficulty in most everything she does, so maybe 
this is just another tough deal.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  It was a tough 
week for THE DEMONIC PICKLES, to drop 7 places in the rankings.  Coming up with a 
solid 3-2-0 outing, FIEND FOLIO has advanced 9 places in the rankings.  D'ORKS is no 
joke as it posted a 4-1-0 week advancing from 9th place to 9th place.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for GENTILE KILLER, who flew up 32 points in the rankings after mashing 
KATARINA like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the 
top ten was GREASY BETTY, who dropped 20 points after a disappointing (to say the 
least) bout with SHOWERS.  What does the Duelmaster and Piltdown Man have in common?  
They are both the most challenged apes in human history!  Heyheyhey!  BONESNAPPER got 
through to the Duelmaster this turn.  No doubt she was more than anxious to kick 
TUVOR's tail out of the throne!  It's a proud day for the FIEND FOLIO stable, as 
their warrior, BONESNAPPER, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  Can you believe they 
are paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the NIYTYOLE ISLAND arena.  
Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad BIG LAKE  BANDITS?  Big bad BIG 
LAKE BANDITS.  Big bad BIG LAKE BANDITS.  NIYTYOLE ISLAND's afraid of the big bad BIG 
LAKE BANDITS.  Tra la la la la!  For those of you who like math, try this one:  BIG 
LAKE BANDITS + Weapons That go Boom = HE BE GBS + Avoid City.  In a touching display 
by a 'touched' warrior, AMON AMARTH went after RECYCLE OVERFLOW, who was higher by 18 
points.  Well, when the dust settled, AMON AMARTH defeated RECYCLE OVERFLOW.  ZAEBOS 
of THE DEMONIC PICKLES had better have a good reason for challenging down 15 points 
in a challenge which he lost.  I thought ZAEBOS showed great skill and promise when 
he was bested by TRUNDLE.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  I have no doubt that BIG LAKE BANDITS will 
be celebrating long and loud their warrior GENTILE KILLER's slaying of KATARINA on 
the sands.  The audience likes blood and there was plenty of it covering ONDE BLAD as 
he was driven to an early grave by GENTILE BIBLETHUMPER of the HE BE GBS.  In the 
'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, SHOOTER MCGAVIN was mashed by BREAKNECK, who let 
SHOOTER MCGAVIN know that killing members of VICIOUS DELITE is a no-no.  Knowing when 
to use the right tactics at the proper time is a very important step on the road to 
Duelmaster.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks.  Its been 
fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide 
Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BONESNAPPER 8794              9   4  0   110       FIEND FOLIO (684)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IN THE CLOSET 8652           19   9  1   146       THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
 XVART 8696                   14   8  1   129       FIEND FOLIO (684)
 GENTILE KILLER 8837          13   7  1   125       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 KLED 8766                    13  10  1   112       FORCE OF FIVE (690)
 YOUR(E)DUM 8564              20  17  1   111       THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
 GRIZZLY BARE 8825            15   4  1   107       HE BE GBS (693)
 KAIRN 8791                   10   7  1   105       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 TRUNDLE 8763                 14  10  1   103       FORCE OF FIVE (690)
-BEDAZZLER 8381               19  15  0    98       XXX BANDITS (614)
 FRUIT CAKE 8537              23  25  1    95       BRASH BROS XMAS (662)
 ZAEBOS 8548                  21  24  3    95       THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)
 MALEVOLENCE 8806             11  12  1    95       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 BANNOR 8751                  14   5  3    94       THE BLOODGUARDS (689)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CARY GOOPER 8716             17  11  0    90       DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)
 SPIRIT'S DREAM 8669          23  13  0    89       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 TMEI 8813                    13   8  0    88       SLORBUST (681)
 TUVOR 8750                   11   8  1    88       THE BLOODGUARDS (689)
 MULE 8785                    15   9  0    87       SLORBUST (681)
 ERMAC 8361                   12  16  2    84       WAR COUNCIL (669)
 GENTILE BIBLETHUMPER 8861     9   8  1    84       HE BE GBS (693)
-BILLALO BUFF 8717             9  22  0    84       DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)
 CHALLAH AKBAR 8726           13  10  0    82       BAD BREAD (95)
 FATSO 8567                   21  16  0    81       THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
-THE AWRY ASCENT 8666         16  16  0    80       DYSTOPIAN OVERLORDS (667)
 HIJACKED RADIO 8665          14  12  4    78       BRASH BROS XMAS (662)
 BAGUL 8733                   17  13  0    75       THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BORKDUP 8902                  8   4  1    73       D'ORKS (694)
-BAT CALLOU 8719              13  15  1    72       DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)
 HELBENDT 8841                11   4  0    71       VICIOUS DELITE (695)
-CRAVY DOCKETT 8731           14  16  0    68       DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)
 GLOOM 8789                   15  10  0    67       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCURVY 8704                  16  18  0    66       THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)
 TULL 8749                    11   8  0    66       THE BLOODGUARDS (689)
 SHOWERS 8754                  7   5  0    66       THE MEANIES (680)
 GIBRALTAR 8844               11   4  0    65       VICIOUS DELITE (695)
 THE IC TULIP 8538            15   7  0    63       NYE MAULERS (269)
-SOYLENT GREEN 8779           11  13  0    63       DYSTOPIAN OVERLORDS (667)
 BREAKNECK 8843                9   6  0    63       VICIOUS DELITE (695)
 BORDER PATROL 8740           14  11  1    61       THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
-DREAM SMASHER 8543            7   9  0    61       BAD COMPANY (145)
 KYMZO KAKASHI 8365           11  17  0    60       WAR COUNCIL (669)
 AANA STORMHAIR 8965           5   1  0    60       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
-LAUGHING PRINCE 8533          9   7  1    59       BAD COMPANY (145)
-BUM 3770                      8   3  1    58       FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)
 AH TOE 8863                  15   3  0    57       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VENGE 8840                    9   6  1    54       VICIOUS DELITE (695)
 THE UNCHOSEN ONE 8879         7   9  0    50       THE ILLEARTH (265)
 DEATH SLAAD 8859             10   5  0    48       FIEND FOLIO (684)
 ADOLF HITLER 3813            10   5  0    47       FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)
 TOO MUCH PAPER 8713          10  14  2    46       BRASH BROS XMAS (662)
 GREASY BETTY 8822             9  11  1    46       HE BE GBS (693)
 PENANGGALAN 8968              6   2  0    45       FIEND FOLIO (684)
 UDDERMUDDER 8833              5  16  1    45       D'ORKS (694)
 RAMMUS 8876                   9   3  0    44       FORCE OF FIVE (690)
 ARTEMIS ENTRERI 8362          6  16  0    44       WAR COUNCIL (669)
 CILL 9023                     3   2  0    43       THE BLOODGUARDS (689)
-MOE 3772                      8   6  0    42       FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)
-CRISCO BOUNTY JR 8816         6  14  0    42       DYSLEXIC COWBOYS (687)
 LARLU 8907                    7   6  0    41       SLORBUST (681)
-WHITE 8616                    4   3  0    41       THE MEANIES (680)
-OB (SERVANT) 8805            10  10  0    40       DYSTOPIAN OVERLORDS (667)
 GENETIC BEAST 8877            5   8  2    37       HE BE GBS (693)
-SNOWED IN 8846                3  13  1    37       BRASH BROS XMAS (662)
-JOHN DILLINGER 3814           4   0  0    35       FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)
 HOWARD STERN 3769             5   9  0    34       FLIRT WITH DIRT (293)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROY D MERCER 8637             4   9  0    33       NYE MAULERS (269)
 DEEDERS THE IMP 8878          7   9  0    31       THE ILLEARTH (265)
 KARSUS 8682                   6   8  1    31       WAR COUNCIL (669)
 MEEATU 8969                   6   4  0    29       D'ORKS (694)
 NIYTYOLE CHAMPION 8714        6   8  0    28       WAR COUNCIL (669)
-NOT MUCH TIME 9017            3   1  0    27       DYSTOPIAN OVERLORDS (667)
 PIZZAGATE 8983                5   2  0    26       THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
 KING CRUMPET 8909             5   6  0    25       BAD BREAD (95)
 THE SAVAGE 9037               2   0  0    24       VICIOUS DELITE (695)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHEHITS 8990                  2   5  1    23       SLORBUST (681)
 STABBY 9021                   3   2  0    22       D'ORKS (694)
 RECYCLE OVERFLOW 8911         3  11  0    20       BRASH BROS XMAS (662)
-THE WINKER 9036               1   0  0    20       BAD COMPANY (145)
 DORKDUP 8925                  3  10  0    19       D'ORKS (694)
 SHOOTER MCGAVIN 9020          3   2  1    18       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 AUGUST LUPTON 9042            2   0  0    18       UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LINDSEY LOU 8930              3   1  0    16       XXX BANDITS (614)
-CRAZY DAISEY 8898             3   2  0    16       XXX BANDITS (614)
-MASS HYPNOSIS 8986            2   3  0    15       DYSTOPIAN OVERLORDS (667)
 SATAN'S FOOT 8963             2   9  0    15       THE ILLEARTH (265)
 KYLIE ST. CLAIR 9040          2   0  0    15       UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)
 AMON AMARTH 9045              1   1  0    15       THE ILLEARTH (265)
-HOWELL III 8581               1   1  0    14       THE MEANIES (680)
 LILITH 8978                   2   7  0    13       THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)
 DOAR 9033                     1   2  0    10       THE BLOODGUARDS (689)
 CASPIAN MARFONT 9041          1   1  0     9       UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)
 MR FRIDAYNIGHT 9051           1   0  0     9       NYE MAULERS (269)
-THE MUFFIN MAN 8675           1   1  0     8       M IS FOR MEGA (683)
 ANZU 9014                     1   4  0     7       THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)
-STITT 8582                    0   1  0     7       THE MEANIES (680)
 THE DENIM THIEF 9050          1   0  0     6       NYE MAULERS (269)
-SWINNEY 8583                  0   2  0     6       THE MEANIES (680)
-GENTLE BEN 8677               0   2  0     6       M IS FOR MEGA (683)
 VIVIAN SMYTHE 9039            1   1  0     4       UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)
 RUFUS WICKES 9038             1   1  0     4       UYPHY'S FOLLIES (703)
 GINGER BARBARIAN 9032         0   3  0     3       HE BE GBS (693)
 GIANT TROLL 9048              0   2  0     2       FIEND FOLIO (684)
 DEVILDRIVER 9052              0   1  0     1       THE ILLEARTH (265)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BIALY THE KID 8958      0  5 0 BAD BREAD 95         BLACK ORC             815  NONE
BAXTER THUGGS 9025      0  1 0 BAD COMPANY 145      SHEHITS 8990          812  REVENGED
NOT A BANDIT 9049       0  1 0 BIG LAKE BANDITS 71  MOUNTAIN TROLL        815  NONE
KUO-TOA 8693           13 12 0 FIEND FOLIO 684      CREEPING DEATH 8681   813  REVENGED
DARIUS 8985             1  4 0 FORCE OF FIVE 690    STONE GOLEM           815  NONE
KATARINA 8764          15  9 0 FORCE OF FIVE 690    GENTILE KILLER 8837   815   
GRANNY BEA 8823        10  7 0 HE BE GBS 693        BORDER PATROL 8740    812  REVENGED
DIZZY DEAN 9047         0  2 0 NYE MAULERS 269      WURM KIN              815  NONE
WICKED LESTAR 8407     11 21 3 NYE MAULERS 269      KLED 8766             814   
ONDE BLAD 8865          8  9 0 OBSIDIAN HALL 192    GENTILE BIBLETHU 8861 815   
MERCY 8994              2  1 0 OVERWATCH 697        SNOWED IN 8846        812   
CREEPING DEATH 8681    20 14 2 THE ILLEARTH 265     XVART 8696            814   
STINGER 9022            1  1 0 VICIOUS DELITE 695   SHOOTER MCGAVIN 9020  812  JUST REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Uyphy's Follies -- Welcome to Niytyole Island!  The lowest, least respected, and most 
underrated arena in all of Alastari.  May your stay here be full of despair and 
pointless slaughter. -- Weirdo,  mgr Flirt with Dirt

Well, shucks, Den; it is nice to see you again.  Are you having a fine time?  I surely 
hope so.  We know it hurts you not to be very much liked, but that's o.k.  The world 
needs people like you both to hate and to clean up after.  Don't forget to turn your 
strategies in; the arena Managers really, really need those easy wins. -- The 
Consortium Folk

5-0?  I thought this arena was touch. -- Uyphy

Amon -- Your maul is no match for my 1/1/1 P. -- Rufus Wickes

Dizzy Dean -- Might want to get your vertigo checked out. -- Vivien Smythe

Soft Ben -- You and Den should get a room.  Nobody else wants to know or have anything 
to do with what you two share! -- G. Bashur

Chad -- The sad truth is that now is a good time to pick on my team.  I've got some 
real losers. -- Bashur

Presstone -- So glad you've come to grips with your name! -- Bashur

Mannequeen -- So you've finally come out!  It was only right! -- General Bashur

Den -- You really, really need to drop the one turn win/loss statistics.  Spend the 
time on real ads!  Those mean nothing and make YOU look dumb -- Bashur

I was in a generous mood this turn and kept my insults to a minimum, but then I saw 
that The Consortium wrote in last turn's newsletter.  It's bad enough that he and 
Mannequeen are in bed together.  But to expose himself to the rest of us is simply 
unacceptable!  Though perhaps he is justified calling Den, "Dirty Den."

It takes one to know one, right? -- Bashur

Scorpio -- I'd tell you to go crawl back under the rock you came from, but I heard you 
were kicked out because the dirt said you were bringing down the property values. -- 
G. Bashur

Little Stick -- Well dummy, you missed five fights of your allotted 15 last turn.  The 
first time you screwed up was understandable, but only an idiot of the fourth order 
would be too dense to not put his team on maintenance after the first lesson.  You 
must really be something around town, brain that big has to be the talk of the 
neighborhood.  Hope life goes well, dullard. -- Den

Consodomite -- Really?!?!  That zoo comment was almost as weak as your deodorant. -- 
Den

Dorkio -- Only you can somehow make what everyone thought was the dumbest set of PA's 
somehow look intelligent.  It seems pointless for me to pick on you anymore as you are 
able to make yourself look more stupid than anything I could possibly say.  How many 
personalities are you contending with on a daily basis anyway?  You know, I could eat 
a bowl of alphabet soap and crap out a better comeback than what you dribbled.  I am 
sure you heard it a dozen times today, but you may be the dumbest human(?) in 
Niytyole. -- Den

Presstone -- I use duct-tape, so lights on or off, it is all the same.  Where are they 
going to go? -- Den

Manaqueen -- Niytyole is already great again, well except for losers like you that 
kneel during the arena anthem.  What are you protesting anyway?  That Consodomite is 
being given the Polanski treatment because of the incident? -- Den

Envious Dogs -- Our ranks swell here in beautiful Niytyole Island, much like the knot 
on Gentile Ben's forehead after he sass-talked me.  Our first team to really suck is 
the Dinner Circle's Lamien Darkfart who managed his Obsidian Hall team to an 0-5.  
That turn is about as tough as that last tooth hanging in your mommy's mouth.  Private 
Bashur once again gets an honorable mention as he went 1-3, which is coincidently the 
same odds he will ever feel the gentle caress of a woman again.  Hey, that was crazy-
close to Gentile caressing Womanta, hmmm, what a curious predilection.  The Meanies 
went 0-1, I believe that is two turns in a row that this unknown pathetic smelly crap-
eater has gone winless.  Next time I see you, I will be mean to your face, not behind 
you like Dorkio.  Spudcraft and his XXX Bandits came back and went 1-2, can't wait 
until he leaves again, at least we won't have to worry about bending over anymore.  
Dorking went 0-5, which was a great follow-up to his 4-1 the previous turn.  I guess 
you are inconsistent, not be confused with incontinent, which also means you would not 
be going very well.  Enjoy your fights, especially against Womanta. -- Den

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BIALY THE KID was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DIZZY DEAN was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DARIUS was killed by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena melee.
NOT A BANDIT was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
BREAKNECK devastated SHOOTER MCGAVIN in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud contest.
THE UNCHOSEN ONE was overpowered by XVART in a 2 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
ROY D MERCER lost to KLED in a 2 minute Bloodfeud fight.
RAMMUS was viciously subdued by AANA STORMHAIR in a 3 minute Challenge match.
KATARINA was assassinated by GENTILE KILLER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
MULE was vanquished by YOUR(E)DUM in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
ZAEBOS was unbelievably bested by TRUNDLE in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
BONESNAPPER handily defeated TUVOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title bout.
FATSO was narrowly defeated by BANNOR in a 4 minute master's Challenge match.
TMEI subdued BAGUL in a 2 minute master's Challenge match.
HELBENDT was overpowered by MALEVOLENCE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
ONDE BLAD was narrowly killed by GENTILE BIBLETHUMPER in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
VENGE was devastated by ERMAC in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
DEATH SLAAD was overpowered by BORKDUP in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
AH TOE outwaited ADOLF HITLER in a tiresome 22 minute Challenge fight.
DEEDERS THE IMP was demolished by KYMZO KAKASHI in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
THE IC TULIP narrowly defeated SCURVY in a 27 minute master's Challenge fight.
CILL devastated KING CRUMPET in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
LARLU viciously subdued HOWARD STERN in a popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge match.
SHEHITS won victory over SATAN'S FOOT in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fray.
PIZZAGATE defeated DORKDUP in a 2 minute Challenge match.
LILITH was overpowered by MEEATU in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
DOAR beat RUFUS WICKES in a 4 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
AMON AMARTH savagely defeated RECYCLE OVERFLOW in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
THE SAVAGE vanquished ANZU in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
GRIZZLY BARE handily defeated CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 2 minute mismatched bout.
FRUIT CAKE was savagely defeated by IN THE CLOSET in a 4 minute veteran's fight.
CHALLAH AKBAR was overpowered by KAIRN in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
SPIRIT'S DREAM luckily beat TULL in a exciting 4 minute gory bout.
HIJACKED RADIO unbelievably bested BORDER PATROL in a 3 minute master's match.
GLOOM was outwaited by GIBRALTAR in a tiresome 25 minute battle.
GREASY BETTY was devastated by SHOWERS in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ARTEMIS ENTRERI was defeated by UDDERMUDDER in a 5 minute veteran's match.
TOO MUCH PAPER viciously subdued KARSUS in a 4 minute gruesome match.
GENETIC BEAST was beaten by PENANGGALAN in a action packed 3 minute bout.
NIYTYOLE CHAMPION overpowered GIANT TROLL in a 2 minute one-sided competition.
STABBY overcame CASPIAN MARFONT in a 3 minute novice's duel.
GINGER BARBARIAN was defeated by THE DENIM THIEF in a 1 minute beginner's battle.
VIVIAN SMYTHE was unbelievably bested by MR FRIDAYNIGHT in a 3 minute struggle.
KYLIE ST. CLAIR overcame DEVILDRIVER in a exciting 3 minute amateur's fight.
AUGUST LUPTON handily defeated FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute mismatched melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 16         PARRY-RIPOSTE     24 -  17 -  0      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         WALL OF STEEL     47 -  39 -  2      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     12         TOTAL PARRY       70 -  61 -  0      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         SLASHING ATTACK   49 -  50 -  2      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  9         STRIKING ATTACK   80 -  88 -  5      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         AIMED BLOW        47 -  53 -  2      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    6         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  15 -  1      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         LUNGING ATTACK    77 -  95 -  5      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         BASHING ATTACK    21 -  27 -  2      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       20 -  31 -  1      39  |

Turn 815 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      5 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        5 -  7         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         6 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  8         2  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  4         1  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  8     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  6         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  BONESNAPPER 8794            9   4  0  110 FIEND FOLIO (684)
AIMED BLOW       IN THE CLOSET 8652         19   9  1  146 THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
LUNGING ATTACK   XVART 8696                 14   8  1  129 FIEND FOLIO (684)
PARRY-STRIKE     KLED 8766                  13  10  1  112 FORCE OF FIVE (690)
WALL OF STEEL    YOUR(E)DUM 8564            20  17  1  111 THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
BASHING ATTACK   TRUNDLE 8763               14  10  1  103 FORCE OF FIVE (690)
TOTAL PARRY      SPIRIT'S DREAM 8669        23  13  0   89 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
SLASHING ATTACK  TMEI 8813                  13   8  0   88 SLORBUST (681)
PARRY-LUNGE      FATSO 8567                 21  16  0   81 THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    DEATH SLAAD 8859           10   5  0   48 FIEND FOLIO (684)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ZAEBOS 8548.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
AANA STORMHAIR 8965.  The ten other most popular fighters were TULL 8749, FATSO 8567, 
SHEHITS 8990, IN THE CLOSET 8652, BANNOR 8751, BORDER PATROL 8740, LARLU 8907, 
GENETIC BEAST 8877, VIVIAN SMYTHE 9039, and KYLIE ST. CLAIR 9040.

The least popular fighter this week was SCURVY 8704.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GLOOM 8789, ADOLF HITLER 3813, AH TOE 8863, THE IC TULIP 8538, 
GIBRALTAR 8844, RUFUS WICKES 9038, DEVILDRIVER 9052, GINGER BARBARIAN 9032, KARSUS 
8682, and ANZU 9014.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

IN THE CLOSET (33-8652) THE SNAPPERHEADS (678)