DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/08/2014    Duedate: 05/05/2014

MAMBOLAND ARENA

DM-47    TURN-340

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

WITCHCRAZE
DARQUE FORCES (396)
(47-5201) [11-5-2,125]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

WITCHCRAZE                     THE DOCTOR
DARQUE FORCES (396)            D.A. REJECTS (787)
(47-5201) [11-5-2,125]         (47-8142) [6-0-0,61]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

BUGS                           BEARDED FREAK
TEAM TOONS (764)               BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
(47-7737) [7-16-0,63]          (47-7995) [5-3-0,36]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NUKE TEST (769)             46
2. HORNY GOAT X (750)          40      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. STAFF OF LIFE (32)          37      Unchartered Team
4. D.A. REJECTS (787)          36
5. SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)     35      D.A. REJECTS (787)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2*D.A. REJECTS (787)        15   9  0 62.5   1/ 4*GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)  12  3 0
 2/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217)         735 458 25 61.6   2/ 8 SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)  11  4 0
 3/ 8*GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)   16  10  0 61.5   3/ 2 SECOND BANANAS (573)     10  5 1
 4/ 4 LES TURFISTES (727)       83  55  3 60.1   4/ 5 LES TURFISTES (727)      10  5 0
 5/ 5 SECOND BANANAS (573)     272 182 26 59.9   5/ 3*D.A. REJECTS (787)       10  5 0
 6/ 6 SHEWISH BUFFET (748)      47  33  2 58.8   6/ 1 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  6 0
 7/ 7 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   380 283 27 57.3   7/11 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      9  6 0
 8/ 9 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         845 652 43 56.4   8/ 6 SHEWISH BUFFET (748)      9  6 0
 9/10 OTTODROME TW (728)        88  77  6 53.3   9/14 OBG! (765)                8  6 1
10/11 DARQUE FORCES (396)      272 241 20 53.0  10/17 DARQUE FORCES (396)       8  7 0
11/12 BASH BROS PARK (766)      61  57  5 51.7  11/ 7 NUKE TEST (769)           7  6 1
12/13 PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)   181 173 11 51.1  12/10 TEAM TOONS (764)          7  8 0
13/15 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      73  74  2 49.7  13/12 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          7  8 0
14/16 CHEERS (659)              98 102  9 49.0  14/18 BASH BROS PARK (766)      7  8 0
15/17 FAST FOOD (724)           91  95  2 48.9  15/13*SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      7  8 0
16/21 HORNY GOAT X (750)        31  37  3 45.6  16/28 HORNY GOAT X (750)        6  9 1
17/19 OBG! (765)                50  60  5 45.5  17/27 PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)    6  9 0
18/18 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)       25  30  3 45.5  18/ 9 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)       6  9 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-20 DEAD GAWDS (543)          32  40  1 44.4  19/22 MSNBC (755)               6  9 0
20/23 NUKE TEST (769)           47  59  4 44.3  20/15 JOMSVIKINGS (756)         6  9 0
21/25 SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)   42  55  1 43.3  21/16*GAS MONKEY (783)          6  9 0
22/22*SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      12  16  0 42.9  22/25*A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)     5  9 2
23/26 MSNBC (755)               46  68  1 40.4  23/19 CHEERS (659)              5 10 1
24/24*BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)  15  23  0 39.5  24/29 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    5 10 0
25/27 STAFF OF LIFE (32)       220 369 21 37.4  25/20 FAST FOOD (724)           5 10 0
26/28 TEAM TOONS (764)          39  67  1 36.8  26/21*CLAN KITFOX (781)         4 10 0
27/32*A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)      5   9  2 35.7  27/30 OTTODROME TW (728)        4 11 0
28/30 JOMSVIKINGS (756)         50  94  4 34.7  28/26*BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)  4 11 0
29/31*CLAN KITFOX (781)         13  26  2 33.3  29-23 DEAD GAWDS (543)          3  7 0
30/29*GAS MONKEY (783)           8  17  0 32.0  30/32*WHITE SHADOW (779)        3 12 0
31/33*WHITE SHADOW (779)        12  26  1 31.6  31/33 STAFF OF LIFE (32)        2 13 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                         ***** TWIX Round 2 Results *****

     Old Oz and Master Darque were not able to negotiate an appropriate salary
increase for coordinating TWIX, hence, you readers suffer with only the facts.  Ta
ta.

name   round      wins  champ  presence ally  extra    total

KGGP    1          31     9      20       9     9        78
133     2          20     6      20       9     0        55

LBA+    1          26     6      20       9     0        61
128     2          27     6      20       9     5        67

SMOC    1          25    12      20       9     0        66
117     2          19     3      20       9     0        51

IC      1          26     9      20       9     0        64
113     2          16     9      18       6     0        49

MMBO    1          10     3      20       9     0        42
 90     2           9    12      20       9     0        50

DOS     1           6     0      20       9     0        35
 84     2          17     3      20       9     0        49

OBG!    1           7     0      13       6     0        26
 67     2          19     3      13       6     0        41

NW      1           3     3      10       9     0        25
 49     2           2     3      10       9     0        24

Read 'em and weep, or read 'e and enjoy. Until we get our raises, who cares?

                                       Oz and Darque

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 372): IMERTA LOEL of MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 370): EYE BAGS of BASH BROS BODY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 368): MALICE of ASSASSINATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 323): MALICE of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 345): LAPUR BISQUE of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit, mgr)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 339): WITCHCRAZE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 326): NEFARA of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 320): URSILA RILVAR of MIDDLE WAY 8 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 305): QUI GONG of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 298): RATTLER of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 274): MUSHROOM of PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 274): KID FUNKY FRIED of DEADLY RAGE (Var, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 275): WONTON NOT NOW of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 90): CUSTODIAN of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 272): BALLIOL BLACKMOON of DRAGONBANE GUILD (Nomad, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 372): WEIRD ALCHEMY (La Guillotine, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 370): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 368): BASH BROS OCEAN (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 323): DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 345): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 339): LAND OF OZ (Oz the All-Managing, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 326): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 320): WHERE AM I? (Var, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 305): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 298): ELDER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 274): OUTER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 274): BASH BROS GOLFER (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 275): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 90): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 272): CHEERS (Otis, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 371): ZORK of Z GLADIATORS (The Z-Man, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 369): KOROSHIYA ICHI of LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 323): MALICE of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 339): PETIT JARDINIA of LES TURFISTES (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                               NORM of CHEERS (Otis, mgr.)
                   (turn 338): YORL of LES TURFISTES (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                               DR. COX of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 298): CHAGUA KORBIN of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 274): MUSHROOM of PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 275): WONTON NOT NOW of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 90): CUSTODIAN of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
                   (turn 89): CORNELIUS of NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetras, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Welcome MAMBOLAND.  I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well.  Many the fights 
have I fought here.  The celebrations, the disappointments...  Woof!  LAND OF OZ were 
a bunch of dogs after GARBAGE PAIL KIDS got through with 'em!  6th ain't so sweet as 
1st!  You know what they say about the herd of lions who studied a judge...  HORNY 
GOAT X moved up 12 places, to 16th.  Hmmmph!  I always thought WEIRD ALCHEMY was an 
over-rated team and they proved it with a 1-4-0!  Some people say I ramble too much, 
I don't say anything relevant.  I repeat myself.  I ramble.  Well NUKE TEST moved up 
4, to 11th.  What's with FIDDLE?  He actually beat BASH BROS PARK's DOG ON THE LOOSE, 
and walked away with 24 more points from the fight.  Major screwup at OTTODROME TW.  
PRACTICAL GENE lost 9 points to REBECCA.  Some new strategies, perhaps?  Maybe 
PRACTICAL GENE will provide more easy wins...  See how the Duelmaster challenged LES 
TURFISTES' RU BRINGER?  That sort of initiative is how he got where he is now.  Try 
as he might, RU BRINGER wasn't good enough at persuading WITCHCRAZE to step down from 
the Duelmaster's throne...  Wouldn't it be nice to have live subjects to practice on? 
I hear some team is looking into the uses of convicted prisoners.   
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  How well I know the feeling 
of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of practive, SERPENTS HOLD 200!  
The bums at LAND OF OZ couldn't face the challenges from SERPENTS HOLD 200!  No 
excuse for that!  How well I know the feeling of being the most challenged warrior, 
NORM!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to haunt you.  DING DONG of LAND OF 
OZ knows how to pick 'em.  It challenged NORM of CHEERS who is up by 23.  Now was 
this a wise move?  DING DONG perhaps got its just desserts, seeing as it defeated 
NORM and ended up with 97 recognition points.   
     Warriors of MAMBOLAND unite.  You have only your games to lose!  SKY PILOT's 
family knows what's wot, after seeing the response from OBG!!  Someone told 
SLUMBERING TRUNK that GAS MONKEY never Bloodfeuded, that he'd have an easy kill.  
Well, I'm sure whoever misled you is right sorry.  Here's some advice:  study your 
opponent, master many skills, fight dirty.   
     Many other cities have retirement homes for aged warriors.  Any plans here?  
MAMBOLAND is a nice place to live, but I don't like to live in nice places.  I don't 
want to overstay my welcome...-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WITCHCRAZE 5201              11   5  2   125       DARQUE FORCES (396)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EXPOSED 7595                 11   2  1   121       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 STARSCREAM 7419              15  12  0   115       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 CHICKEN A LA KING 7583       12   8  1   113       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 ACE HARDWARE 7492            14  10  0   112       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BIKINI ATOLL 7799            14   9  0   109       NUKE TEST (769)
 ENCORE DEBOUT 7788           11   4  0   102       LES TURFISTES (727)
 DING DONG 7516               20  10  1    97       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CAPTURED PORK 7581           10   4  0    97       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 NORTON 7010                  16  14  3    93       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 MANDORALLEN 7179             20  17  1    92       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 WENDY 7552                   13   8  1    92       FAST FOOD (724)
 BRAVE NEW RODENT 7754        14  12  2    91       BASH BROS PARK (766)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASTROTRAIN 7352              19  10  0    90       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 CASTLE THUNDER 7159           8   3  0    89       OTTODROME TW (728)
 EMERALD CITY 7896             7   1  0    88       LAND OF OZ (217)
 REBECCA 7789                 12  11  2    87       CHEERS (659)
 RU BRINGER 7510               8   7  1    87       LES TURFISTES (727)
 FLESH HUNTER 6053            14   2  0    84       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE 7580     11   4  2    84       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 DEPUTY FIFE 7768             11   3  0    84       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 FADDLE 7897                   8   3  0    82       OTTODROME TW (728)
 NK 7800                      10  13  1    81       NUKE TEST (769)
 MR. WOLF 7401                 9   5  0    81       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 STING 7656                   10   5  0    79       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 PRACTICAL GENE 7349          14  16  1    77       OTTODROME TW (728)
 MIGHTY MANFRED 7738          13  10  0    74       TEAM TOONS (764)
 TOBIAS FUNKE 7941             5   0  0    74       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-MY LITTLE GTO 7745           13   9  0    71       OBG! (765)
 DIAPER LEEK 7887             10   5  1    69       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIEGE BEAST 5797             15  15  1    66       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 YELLOW BRICK 7864            11   8  1    66       LAND OF OZ (217)
 ASP 7591                      8   4  0    66       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 FANG SKIN 6070               11   5  0    65       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 ZITH 7361                     8   9  0    65       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BOMBULOID 4304                7   5  3    65       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 BUGS 7737                     7  16  0    63       TEAM TOONS (764)
 THE DOCTOR 8142               6   0  0    61       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 ICE WIND 7758                10  11  0    59       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 TEN TRICK'S EX 7878          10   3  0    59       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MEGABOLOX 4312                8   1  0    58       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 GAUTREK 7666                 12  15  1    57       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 CHRIS MATTHEWS 7631           9  14  0    57       MSNBC (755)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 YRSA 7671                    11  18  1    56       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 CASTLE 8079                   4   1  0    55       LAND OF OZ (217)
 FOUL BILL 8061                4   2  0    55       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 DOOM SLINGER 6335             8   3  1    53       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 QUEEN OF THE SOUTH 7774       9   9  2    52       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 CAPTAIN PEACHFUZZ 7741        8  15  0    52       TEAM TOONS (764)
 DOG ON THE LOOSE 7756         9   5  1    51       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 DOMINO 8143                   5   1  0    50       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 VOLUND 7670                   9  20  1    48       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 FIDDLE 7898                   6   5  0    48       OTTODROME TW (728)
 BRAIN LES 8060                5   0  0    48       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 MARLBORO MAN 8145             2   1  0    43       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 MIGHTY MANFRED 7771           6  17  0    41       TEAM TOONS (764)
 BATTLE BANSHEE 7979           3   3  0    39       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 DUNGEON PORTER 7837           3   5  0    39       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 THE BOMB 7883                 6  12  0    38       NUKE TEST (769)
 MAGIC MIKE & IKE 7875         5   8  1    38       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 EAT IT RAW 7996               4   4  0    37       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
 BEARDED FREAK 7995            5   3  0    36       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
-DEATH 4957                    7   8  0    34       DEAD GAWDS (543)
 STAN CAN 8058                 4   0  0    34       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HADES 4959                    9   6  0    33       DEAD GAWDS (543)
 ODIN AVERSSON 7968            7   6  0    32       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
-DAHAK 4961                    5   9  0    32       DEAD GAWDS (543)
 FOX 8148                      3   0  0    32       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 GOLD DUST 7983                2   4  1    32       OTTODROME TW (728)
 WARRIOR WIGHT 7978            1   2  0    31       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 TEENS SUCKING FACE 8040       3   0  0    30       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 TSAR BOMBA 7975               5   7  2    29       NUKE TEST (769)
 CRAPULODON 4305               5   7  0    29       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 NIMBLE FOX 8135               2   0  1    29       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 CHUCK TODD 8055               4   5  0    28       MSNBC (755)
 NIGHTS CALL 7989              6   2  0    27       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 ZOMBIE ZULU 7980              5   2  0    27       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 LION 8020                     5   2  0    27       LAND OF OZ (217)
 ALEC BALDWIN 8128             4   2  0    27       MSNBC (755)
 JIM 8126                      4   2  1    26       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 BECKETT 8090                  2   4  0    24       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NUT BROWN 8178                2   1  1    23       HORNY GOAT X (750)
-YAMA 6384                     6   4  0    22       DEAD GAWDS (543)
 HANZO 8018                    4   4  0    22       CLAN KITFOX (781)
-ARAWN 6415                    5   5  1    21       DEAD GAWDS (543)
 NICK TORTELLI 8176            1   2  0    20       CHEERS (659)
 SUPERSIZE ME 8110             3   1  0    19       FAST FOOD (724)
 EGG NOGGIN 8154               2   1  0    19       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 1958 B. LAYNE 8223            2   0  0    19       GAS MONKEY (783)
 JINX 7951                     3   4  0    18       TEAM TOONS (764)
 SURFIN' SAFARI 8132           2   1  1    18       OBG! (765)
 SKYWARP 8063                  2   2  0    18       DARQUE FORCES (396)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TEARS OF A CLOWN 8193         2   1  0    18       OBG! (765)
 MUMMY MUSKETEER 8146          3   0  0    17       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 CLAMTASTIC 7994               2   2  0    17       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
 ROOK 8204                     3   0  0    16       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 ARENAMUSTARD 8140             2   1  0    16       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 DAD HUSBANDSON 8168           1   2  0    16       STAFF OF LIFE (32)
 WEAK SAUCE 7992               3   4  0    15       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 LATE OR EARLY 8183            2   1  0    15       LES TURFISTES (727)
 LIL JOHNNY 8184               1   2  0    15       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 TACO 8190                     1   2  0    14       FAST FOOD (724)
 TRAIN WRECK 7988              2   6  1    13       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 SIZZLING SCRIBE 8116          1   2  0    13       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 ZANDRAMAS 7593                1   2  0    13       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 BROKEN POND 8105              1   2  0    13       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 AMBITIOUS GOURD 8115          1   2  0    13       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 DEL ICIOUS 8221               2   0  0    12       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 SLUMBERING TRUNK 8134         1   2  1    12       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 DEMENTIATOR 8081              0   6  0    12       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 VICKY MENDOZA 8048            2   3  0    11       GAS MONKEY (783)
 PLAGUE PARADE 8165            1   2  0    11       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 APPLE CIDER HIDER 8153        1   2  0    11       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 STEVE KORNACKI 8202           2   1  0    10       MSNBC (755)
 RUNS WITH SPEAR 8215          1   1  0    10       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 POO SLIDE 8244                1   0  0    10       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 LEGO CAB 8230                 1   0  0    10       LES TURFISTES (727)
 CRADOSAURUS 3 8163            2   2  0     9       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 MY GIRL 8192                  2   1  0     9       OBG! (765)
 BARSTOOL 4 8247               1   0  1     9       CHEERS (659)
 LILITH 8219                   1   1  0     9       CHEERS (659)
 SILK 8229                     1   0  0     8       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 LUTHER VAN DAM 8200           2   1  0     7       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 LA BRUHA 8124                 1   4  0     7       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 BROKEN SKY 7990               0   7  0     7       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 M. CLOUD 8234                 1   0  0     6       NUKE TEST (769)
 ULF LONG-LEG 8162             1   3  0     6       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 MAX 8203                      1   2  0     5       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 ROGUE STACHE 8206             1   2  0     5       GAS MONKEY (783)
 IRON BARD 8166                1   2  0     5       STAFF OF LIFE (32)
 MOOMOOFORK YO 8238            1   0  0     5       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 NOT FADE AWAY 8191            1   2  0     5       OBG! (765)
 ROCKET ROSE 8222              1   1  0     4       GAS MONKEY (783)
 APRICOT AMBROSIA 8241         0   1  0     1       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 JANITOR 8245                  0   1  0     1       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 WAKIZASHI 8235                0   1  0     1       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 DON GONE 8237                 0   1  0     1       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 JACK B. QUICK 8246            0   1  0     1       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 OCTANE 8228                   0   1  0     1       DARQUE FORCES (396)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CONVICTED THIEF         0  0 0                      BARSTOOL 4 8247       340  NONE
RUNS WITH SCISSO 8216   0  2 0 A'MERKIN INJUNS 786  BIG MAC               340  NONE
CLAM CHOWDAH 7998       2  3 0 BUBBA'S CLAM SHA 780 NIMBLE FOX 8135       338   
SAM THE CLAM 8233       0  1 0 BUBBA'S CLAM SHA 780 WHOPPER               340  NONE
WIN AND LIVE 8232       0  1 0 BUBBA'S CLAM SHA 780 SUBTERFUGE            340  NONE
SHOGUN 8196             0  3 0 CLAN KITFOX 781      SOUTH SPOON           340  NONE
GRINDER 8243            0  1 0 FAST FOOD 724        ORC PLAGUE            340  NONE
MEAT 8242               0  1 0 FAST FOOD 724        ORC PLAGUE            340  NONE
CARVIN' MARVIN 8150     0  1 0 GARBAGE PAIL KID 784 SURFIN' SAFARI 8132   338   
CIAKAR 8049             1  3 0 GAS MONKEY 783       SLUMBERING TRUNK 8134 339  JUST REVENGED
DIPSHIT 8239            0  1 0 GAS MONKEY 783       SOUTH SPOON           340  NONE
RAMBLER 8052            1  2 0 GAS MONKEY 783       NUT BROWN 8178        338   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DAA 8240                0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     DONETO                340  NONE
MILK STOUT 7594         4  5 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     VENOMOUS CLEMENT 7580 336  REVENGED
INTERN JIMMY 8248       0  1 0 MSNBC 755            WHOPPER               340  NONE
RACHAEL MADDOW 7632    10 11 0 MSNBC 755            BRAVE NEW RODENT 7754 336  NOT REVENGED
WHAT'D I SAY 7742       6 13 1 OBG! 765             BOMBULOID 4304        336  NOT REVENGED
UN-UNDEAD 8231          0  1 0 SPECTRAL STEEL 778   SMOKESCREEN           340  NONE
LEARNER STEWARD 8213    0  2 0 STAFF OF LIFE 32     SMOKESCREEN           340  NONE
LIGHT WATCHMAN 8212     0  2 0 STAFF OF LIFE 32     ORC PLAGUE            340  NONE
OLDMAN GOD ART 8211     0  2 0 STAFF OF LIFE 32     CASTLE THUNDER        340  NONE
DRONE A3 8096           1  2 0 TOLBINS HIVE A 785   TSAR BOMBA 7975       337   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

How disappointing!  How ugly!  How underachieving of us?  The only thing desolated
are SMOC hopes and dreams.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. -- Oz The All Depressed
P.S.  Note to self; ask Captain Crip what he is going to do about it.

Bugs -- No bugs are allowed in this city and we eat rabbits.  Capiche? -- Emerald
City, Land Of Oz

Dog On The Loose was leashed.  So sad.  Har de har.  No longer will anyone have to
pick up the canine doo doo on the yellow brick road. -- Yellow Brick

Dahak -- That was quite inappropriate of you.  I am supposed to be the king of the
jungle.  But, I haven't gotten my testimonial yet. -- Lion

Bearded Freak -- Not in my castle you won't! -- Castle

Encore Debout -- I cannot believe you did that.  Why, we used to be friends. -- Ding
Dong (Perhaps the witch isn't dead?)

Gotta give a shout out and kudos to the new DM of North Fork Mamboland.  Witchcraze.
 -- Oz The All Jealous

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  And SMOC points! -- Oz The All Motivating

Yorl offered us one of the worst fights of his career and shot down a possible 5-0,
but KGGP is still leading!  Go us! -- LP

Thanks, mighty Oz, I can see you are doing well too. -- LP

Petit Jardinia is the new champ for Les Turfistes.  Not for a long time though! -- LP

Zandramas -- "Gentle" lady, now how will I play my flute or my lute?  Now that you've
cut my strumming hand? -- Iron Bard

Cheers, Lilith! -- Learner Steward

I collect ambidextrousities. -- G Staff

     You been talking to the Brat!  I can tell by the "new" words.  -- NAIEI

My God, My Girl! -- Old Man God Art

Golden Fork Awards for fest name are scored in several categories, including:
Originality, Humor, Double-Entendre, Texture (sound & feel), and Accessibility (non-
exotericness).

This turn's name aware goes to a manager!  Bubba Ganoosh may you live long and plant
eggs!

New Wave Alliance -- More like No Way Alliance.  Oh, well--happy to contribute certs.
-- Master Fox

Dungeon Porter -- Thanks for my team's only win last turn. -- Jim

To the Author of the TWIX Round #1 report -- Where did this SCOM alliance in second
place come from, and why has Desolation of SMOC been ignored.  Has Oz been slipping
you some extra special senility drugs???? -- Crip, mgr of Royal Flush, Capt of
Desolation of SMOC

Astrotrain -- Somehow, my challenge strategy did not get used, but I'm not going to
complain -- Ace Hardware

Norm -- And you seemed to simply quaff my avoid like a headless draught beer. --
Chicken A La King

All -- As of late, great shame has come upon me and my men, due to their inability to
perform the way they were trained.  Made even worse by the fact that it is a
challenge they are losing.  AS of now, things will change and punishment will be
dealt out, to my fighter, but preferably to those who stand in our way. -- Cpt.
Umbra, team White Shadow

All -- I declare Nights Call as my champion for White Shadow in the Turf Wars. --
Cpt. Umbra, mgr White Shadow

All -- I will win a fight in this blasted arena!  Or as Aytarren is my witness I will
send myself to the Dark Arena and challenge Jehyr himself! -- Broken Sky

All -- I am declaring Vicky Mendoza of Gas Monkey to be our Champion. -- Stillgard

Mambolanders -- MSNBC declares Chris Hayes their Champion.  Look upon him and
despair. -- Deep Thought manager of MSNBC and Captain of the DOS Alliance

Since it seemed to have worked last time...  Good luck and fortune to LBA+ members.
-- Assur

Dad Husbandson -- What about Brother?  Cousin?  Friend?  Enemy?  And our favorite,
Significant Other?  What kind of discrimination are you trying to promote? -- Teens
Sucking Face

Wendy -- Your hair mesmerized me. -- Brave New Rodent

Siege Beast -- I guess you were made to withstand the elements. -- Ice Wind

Yellow Brick -- I guess my attempts to deface you kind of just blend right in to your
natural color. -- Dog on the Loose

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

OLDMAN GOD ART was butchered by CASTLE THUNDER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
LIGHT WATCHMAN was murdered by ORC PLAGUE in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
LEARNER STEWARD was murdered by SMOKESCREEN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
SHOGUN was dealt death by SOUTH SPOON in a popular 3 minute Dark Arena contest.
RUNS WITH SCISSORS was assassinated by BIG MAC in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
DAA was butchered by DONETO in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena brawl.
SAM THE CLAM was slain by WHOPPER in a exciting 3 minute bloody Dark Arena struggle.
DIPSHIT was put to death by SOUTH SPOON in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
WIN AND LIVE was easily killed by SUBTERFUGE in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
UN-UNDEAD was slaughtered by SMOKESCREEN in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
GRINDER was dispatched by ORC PLAGUE in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
INTERN JIMMY was narrowly killed by WHOPPER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MEAT was executed by ORC PLAGUE in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
CLAMTASTIC was savagely defeated by NIMBLE FOX in a exciting 8 minute Bloodfeud fight.
ROCKET ROSE was devastated by NUT BROWN in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud conflict.
1958 B. LAYNE savagely defeated SLUMBERING TRUNK in a 6 minute bloody Bloodfeud match.
BATTLE BANSHEE was overpowered by ASP in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
WITCHCRAZE vanquished RU BRINGER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title bout.
EXPOSED vanquished WENDY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fray.
ENCORE DEBOUT bested BRAVE NEW RODENT in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
DIAPER LEEK was demolished by CAPTURED PORK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ZITH was overpowered by EMERALD CITY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
MR. WOLF was overpowered by BIKINI ATOLL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
DING DONG luckily beat NORM in a action packed 3 minute expert's Challenge bout.
YELLOW BRICK was unbelievably bested by FLESH HUNTER in a 6 minute Challenge bout.
ICE WIND was vanquished by TOBIAS FUNKE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
QUEEN OF THE SOUTH was vanquished by MIGHTY MANFRED in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
BOMBULOID was subdued by FADDLE in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
REBECCA overpowered PRACTICAL GENE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
TEN TRICK'S EX beat CAPTAIN PEACHFUZZ in a 5 minute Challenge fray.
THE DOCTOR overpowered VOLUND in a 1 minute uneven Challenge competition.
THE BOMB was overpowered by CASTLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
EAT IT RAW was vanquished by MEGABOLOX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
FANG SKIN overpowered CHRIS MATTHEWS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
DOMINO overpowered MIGHTY MANFRED in a 2 minute gory one-sided Challenge bout.
MARLBORO MAN handily defeated MAGIC MIKE & IKE in a 1 minute Challenge match.
DUNGEON PORTER won victory over CRAPULODON in a 4 minute Challenge fight.
BEARDED FREAK viciously subdued LION in a exciting 7 minute bloody Challenge battle.
JIM was overpowered by FOUL BILL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
ARENAMUSTARD was savagely defeated by ALEC BALDWIN in a 3 minute Challenge conflict.
VICKY MENDOZA was vanquished by FOX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
DEMENTIATOR lost to SUPERSIZE ME in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge bout.
WARRIOR WIGHT demolished LATE OR EARLY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge competition.
MUMMY MUSKETEER savagely defeated SIZZLING SCRIBE in a 10 minute Challenge battle.
TACO devastated LA BRUHA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
CRADOSAURUS 3 lost to TEARS OF A CLOWN in a 4 minute novice's Challenge conflict.
ZANDRAMAS luckily beat MAX in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge competition.
NOT FADE AWAY was viciously subdued by WEAK SAUCE in a 2 minute Challenge match.
ROOK luckily beat LILITH in a action packed 3 minute novice's Challenge battle.
LUTHER VAN DAM was overpowered by BECKETT in a 2 minute uneven Challenge bout.
EGG NOGGIN overpowered PLAGUE PARADE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge competition.
CHICKEN A LA KING demolished PETIT JARDINIA in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
ACE HARDWARE subdued NORTON in a 3 minute veteran's battle.
STARSCREAM overpowered CASTLE THUNDER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
DEPUTY FIFE overpowered YRSA in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
STING was subdued by MANDORALLEN in a 2 minute veteran's brawl.
ASTROTRAIN slimly won victory over SIEGE BEAST in a 8 minute veteran's match.
VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE overpowered BUGS in a 1 minute bloody uneven bout.
NK overpowered VETERAN MERCENARY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody mismatched fight.
GOLD DUST was overpowered by DOOM SLINGER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
BRAIN LES vanquished NICK TORTELLI in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
GAUTREK handily defeated ZOMBIE ZULU in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DOG ON THE LOOSE was savagely defeated by FIDDLE in a crowd pleasing 9 minute bout.
STAN CAN won victory over SKYWARP in a 2 minute duel.
TEENS SUCKING FACE savagely defeated AMBITIOUS GOURD in a popular 7 minute gory fight.
ODIN AVERSSON vanquished TRAIN WRECK in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SURFIN' SAFARI was narrowly defeated by NIGHTS CALL in a 5 minute battle.
APPLE CIDER HIDER was overpowered by DAD HUSBANDSON in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BROKEN POND was vanquished by TSAR BOMBA in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
LIL JOHNNY was beaten by JINX in a 2 minute match.
CHUCK TODD overpowered OSKSI NOBLE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
HANZO defeated BROKEN SKY in a 2 minute brawl.
STEVE KORNACKI slimly won victory over JANITOR in a 14 minute novice's struggle.
RUNS WITH SPEAR subdued IRON BARD in a 2 minute brutal amateur's duel.
DEL ICIOUS outlasted OCTANE in a action packed 7 minute brutal beginner's fight.
MY GIRL unbelievably bested APRICOT AMBROSIA in a 4 minute novice's melee.
ROGUE STACHE was narrowly defeated by LEGO CAB in a 7 minute novice's conflict.
ULF LONG-LEG was overcome by SILK in a 1 minute novice's duel.
DON GONE was overpowered by POO SLIDE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
MOOMOOFORK YO viciously subdued JACK B. QUICK in a 6 minute gory novice's match.
WAKIZASHI was overcome by M. CLOUD in a 2 minute novice's fight.
BARSTOOL 4 put to death CONVICTED THIEF in a 2 minute amateur's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 31         PARRY-STRIKE      24 -  19 -  2      56  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  28         TOTAL PARRY       67 -  56 -  1      54  |
|AIMED BLOW                      18         STRIKING ATTACK   94 -  87 -  9      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         AIMED BLOW        65 -  73 -  1      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  15         LUNGING ATTACK    78 -  88 -  1      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   13         PARRY-LUNGE       19 -  27 -  2      41  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  29 -  0      34  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    7         WALL OF STEEL     35 -  68 -  5      34  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         SLASHING ATTACK   30 -  62 -  3      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         BASHING ATTACK    43 - 101 -  8      30  |

Turn 340 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  4         5  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY       11 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     5 - 10         2  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW        11 -  7     LUNGING ATTACK     9 - 19         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK   16 - 15     WALL OF STEEL      4 -  9         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  7         1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  WITCHCRAZE 5201            11   5  2  125 DARQUE FORCES (396)
LUNGING ATTACK   STARSCREAM 7419            15  12  0  115 DARQUE FORCES (396)
AIMED BLOW       ACE HARDWARE 7492          14  10  0  112 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
TOTAL PARRY      BIKINI ATOLL 7799          14   9  0  109 NUKE TEST (769)
WALL OF STEEL    NORTON 7010                16  14  3   93 SECOND BANANAS (573)
BASHING ATTACK   BRAVE NEW RODENT 7754      14  12  2   91 BASH BROS PARK (766)
SLASHING ATTACK  EMERALD CITY 7896           7   1  0   88 LAND OF OZ (217)
PARRY-LUNGE      MIGHTY MANFRED 7738        13  10  0   74 TEAM TOONS (764)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is BUGS 7737.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
BEARDED FREAK 7995.  The ten other most popular fighters were TEENS SUCKING FACE 
8040, YELLOW BRICK 7864, NIMBLE FOX 8135, SURFIN' SAFARI 8132, SIZZLING SCRIBE 8116, 
CRADOSAURUS 3 8163, DEL ICIOUS 8221, APRICOT AMBROSIA 8241, SHOGUN 8196, and SAM THE 
CLAM 8233.

The least popular fighter this week was STEVE KORNACKI 8202.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were DOG ON THE LOOSE 7756, OCTANE 8228, MUMMY MUSKETEER 8146, 
ASTROTRAIN 7352, LEGO CAB 8230, LION 8020, TEN TRICK'S EX 7878, JACK B. QUICK 8246, 
DON GONE 8237, and ULF LONG-LEG 8162.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

MANDORALLEN (47-7179) PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

NORM (47-6227) CHEERS (659)
PETIT JARDINIA (47-7154) LES TURFISTES (727)