DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/12/2016    Duedate: 08/08/2016

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-368

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

JACK O'LANTERN
ROYAL FLUSH (48)
(47-2762) [9-5-0,154]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JACK O'LANTERN                 DIGITAL POP
ROYAL FLUSH (48)               MAILIN MADNESS XXVII (817)
(47-2762) [9-5-0,154]          (47-8864) [5-0-0,71]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JINX                           HAWKINS
TEAM TOONS (764)               STAR PRAIRIE (821)
(47-7951) [16-19-1,91]         (47-8949) [4-1-0,43]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE WILD HUNT (802)         71
2. BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)       51EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
3. BAAL'S MINIONS (626)        48      Unchartered Team
4. WHITE SHADOW (779)          44
5. TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)       41      HOWLIN MAD (809)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUC (808)  64  26  3 71.1   1/ 3 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)     12  3 0
 2/ 3*HOWLIN MAD (809)          21   9  0 70.0   2/ 1*HOWLIN MAD (809)         12  3 0
 3/ 1*WEIRD STUDENTS (805)      15   7  0 68.2   3/10 GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)  11  4 0
 4/ 6*SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)   20  11  0 64.5   4/ 4 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUC (808) 11  4 0
 5/ 4 KAOS! (811)               26  15  0 63.4   5/12*THE WILD HUNT (802)      10  5 1
 6/ 5 SHEWISH DINER (806)       93  56  8 62.4   6/19 SERPENTS HOLD II (820)   10  5 1
 7/ 8 LES TURFISTES (727)      125  78  5 61.6   7/23 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)      10  5 0
 8/ 7 LAND OF OZ (217)         803 511 27 61.1   8/ 9 BASH BROS PARK (766)     10  5 0
 9/ 0 THE OPERA (613)          139  95  4 59.4   9/17*SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)   9  5 0
10/10 SECOND BANANAS (573)     311 214 30 59.2  10/ 2 STAR PRAIRIE (821)        9  6 1
11/11 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)     31  24  4 56.4  11/22*KHORS VILLANS (823)       9  6 0
12/15 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   432 339 35 56.0  12/30 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      9  6 0
13/14 D.A. REJECTS (787)        62  49  2 55.9  13/20 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      9  6 0
14/ 9 STAR PRAIRIE (821)        24  19  3 55.8  14/ 7 SHEWISH DINER (806)       9  6 0
15/16 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         903 718 46 55.7  15/11 80'S DISCO (810)          9  6 0
16/21*KHORS VILLANS (823)       11   9  0 55.0  16/42 FAST FOOD (724)           8  7 1
17/20 TOLBINS HIVE A (785)      35  30  4 53.8  17/35 WHITE SHADOW (779)        8  7 1
18/17 GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)   59  51  2 53.6  18/18 TOLBINS HIVE A (785)      8  7 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 80'S DISCO (810)          67  58  2 53.6  19/33 PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)    8  7 0
20/19 DARQUE FORCES (396)      321 282 25 53.2  20/37 LES TURFISTES (727)       8  7 0
21/13 RICK AND MORTY (814)      26  23  1 53.1  21/34 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          8  7 0
22/23 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 109 100  8 52.2  22/13 SECOND BANANAS (573)      8  7 0
23/25 BASH BROS PARK (766)     101  93  8 52.1  23/25 KAOS! (811)               8  7 0
24/26 BAD BEATS (791)           34  32  0 51.5  24/ 5*WEIRD STUDENTS (805)      7  5 0
25/24 CHEERS (659)             142 135 10 51.3  25/39*SATAN'S MINIONS (813)     7  7 0
26/27 SERPENTS HOLD II (820)    88  84  5 51.2  26/ 6 DARQUE FORCES (396)       7  7 0
27-28*BIKER LIFE (796)          19  19  0 50.0  27/36 BAD BEATS (791)           7  7 0
28/43*THE WILD HUNT (802)       17  17  2 50.0  28/27 CHEERS (659)              7  8 0
29/29 PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)   214 216 12 49.8  29/15 WICKED MARTYRS (815)      7  8 0
30/31 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)     106 107  2 49.8  30/31 MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)    7  8 0
31/33 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)     34  35  3 49.3  31/ 8 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)     7  8 0
32/32 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)     140 145  9 49.1  32/24 LAND OF OZ (217)          7  8 0
33/30 OTTODROME TW (728)       118 123  7 49.0  33/21 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)     7  8 0
34/22 WICKED MARTYRS (815)      21  22  2 48.8  34/43 TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)     7  8 0
35/37 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)       93  98  6 48.7  35/29 D.A. REJECTS (787)        7  8 0
36/35 FAST FOOD (724)          121 129  5 48.4  36/38 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  6  9 1
37/34 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      55  60  3 47.8  37/14 RICK AND MORTY (814)      6  9 0
38/ 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 6K (494)  33  37  1 47.1  38/45*INQUISITION 100 (807)     6  9 0
39/38 BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)  45  52  1 46.4  39/41 OTTODROME TW (728)        6  9 0
40/39 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)     48  56  5 46.2  40/16 SNOW FORT (819)           6  9 0
41/48*SATAN'S MINIONS (813)     13  17  0 43.3  41-32*BIKER LIFE (796)          5  5 0
42/45 TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)     38  53  1 41.8  42/26*DESTROYERS LEGION (804)   5  8 1
43/42 MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)    19  27  3 41.3  43/28 FRAYED SANITY (799)       5 10 0
44/41 THE SOVEREIGN (818)       28  42  2 40.0  44/46 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)     5 10 0
45/40 FRAYED SANITY (799)       20  30  1 40.0  45/40*MAILIN MADNESS XXV (817)  5 10 0
46/44 TOKEN ENTRY (725)         47  71  8 39.8  46/48 THE SOVEREIGN (818)       5 10 0
47/47*DESTROYERS LEGION (804)   13  20  2 39.4  47/53 BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)    4 11 0
48/56*INQUISITION 100 (807)     10  16  0 38.5  48-49 CLAN KITFOX (781)         3  4 2
49/49 TEAM TOONS (764)          76 125  3 37.8  49/57 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    3 10 0
50/51 WHITE SHADOW (779)        64 110  4 36.8  50/44 TOKEN ENTRY (725)         3 11 0
51-52 BEYOND THE WALL (812)     64 111  4 36.6  51/47 GAS MONKEY (783)          3 12 0
52-53 CLAN KITFOX (781)         53  93  6 36.3  52/51 JOMSVIKINGS (756)         3 12 0
53/46*MAILIN MADNESS XXV (817)   9  16  1 36.0  53/54 TEAM TOONS (764)          2  1 0
54/50 SNOW FORT (819)           30  54  2 35.7  54/50 BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)  2  6 0
55/54 BIG IDEA (32)            249 450 24 35.6  55-52 BEYOND THE WALL (812)     2  8 0
56/55 JOMSVIKINGS (756)         89 164  6 35.2  56/56 BIG IDEA (32)             2 13 0
57/58 BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)    16  33  3 32.7  57/ 0 THE OPERA (613)           1  1 0
58/57 GAS MONKEY (783)          34  71  1 32.4  58/ 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 6K (494)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     The Chief Inquisitor purposefully strode up and waited a few minutes for an 
acknowledgement from the man sitting at the edge of the cliff, chewing on a sprout 
stalk and watching lemmings in the distance leap to the sea below.  He got none.
     "A lot of people are looking for you," he prompted.  The buttons of the Chief's 
uniform were as brightly polished as his boots.  He had the air of someone not used 
to, or fond of, wasting words.  Three braided loops of white hemp hung from his right 
shoulder.  A sword did the same from his opposite hip.
     Eventually the man stirred, looking up and squinting into the sun that stood 
behind the Chief's braids.  He spit out the sprout, slowly stood up and brushed off 
his breeches.  Finally, he spoke.  "Then aren't you the clever one?"
     Pale with fury, Consortium did not deign to respond.  He glanced over the cliff 
at the reams of carefully scribed yet sea-drenched parchment sitting at the bottom, 
straightened his back, and led Vlad away.

                          *** Seventy-two hours earlier ***

     As usual, the double doors opened silently and framed the elegant Lady Love Pink.
     "Lord Taltos, how kind of you to grace our humble home today!  I hope your stay 
with us will be longer this time than last.  We so rarely have the pleasure of your 
company.  May I escort you to the library?  The Donald will join you momentarily."  
Lady Pink and Vlad had established certain things at the outset of their 
acquaintanceship and thus she did not offer to take his cloak.
     "Thank you, Lady Pink.  It's always a pleasure to see you.  I would prefer not to 
keep you from your duties regarding other prospective guests.  I'll see myself to the 
library.  Please, I insist."
     Without skipping a beat, she nodded enthusiastically at the idea.  "Would you 
care for refreshment, Mi'lord?"
     "That would be lovely, yes, quite."
     He made his way up the sweeping double stairs, turned right and headed down to 
the library, ignoring various artwork along the way.  Entering the library, he found 
his favorite chair and grinned.  There was already a slightly chilled glass of red 
wine and charcuterie plate in place.  Lady Pink was good.  Not wanting to do a 
disservice to her efforts, he made himself comfortable and dug in.
     The "clack-clack-clack" of Trump's footfalls announced him, though not as well as 
Lady Pink might have.  He strode in, grunted at Vlad and, disdaining the nearby desk, 
sat down in a chair that almost, but didn't quite, face him.  He carried his own 
goblet of red stuff and sat it down on the wide arm of the chair. 
     "So, Trump, I was thinking-"
     "Vlad, we have a problem."
     Vlad blinked, finished chewing his bit of spicy boar sausage that made a nice 
counterpoint to the wine, downed the last of said wine, and sat back.
     "Ok, tell me."
     "It's very, very bad, Vlad.  Did you see the Inquisition tried to string up Lyin' 
Den?"
     "Who?"
     "That absolutely terrible manager that heads up Triple A."
     "The coach repair service?!"
     "No, the alliance."
     "Ohhhh, I think you mean AA."
     "I don't drink."
     "No, it's just... never mind.  You were saying?"
     "It's a disaster, Vlad.  We need to act.  Lyin' Den-"
     "Wait, stop.  Are you saying "Lyin' Den" or "Lyin' Ben?""
     "That's irrelevant."
     "Yes, I suppose it is.  So what's the problem?"
     "I have a man on the inside that tells me that Sneaky Deeders, being disenchanted 
with the Triple A, ratted out Lyin' Den to the Inquisition, who set out to crucify Den 
in a Holy War for-"
     "Well, I certainly didn't expect that."
     "Vlad, no one expects the Inquisition."
     "Sorry, of course.  So the problem is with the Inquisition, Den, Ben, Deeders, 
who?"
     "You're totally brain dead today, Vlad.  It's terrible.  I'm very disappointed.  
Keep up with me.  The Inquisition tried to persecute Lyin' Den for falsifying 
information about his gladiatorial team that was recorded in some sort of monastery or 
something.  Terra Sanguine or some such.  Apparently, a number of other managers have 
been spending time at the monastery to obtain and distribute information about the 
gladiators." 
     "Wait-- WHOSE gladiators?"
     "Thank you for catching up.  OURs, among others.  And the big tourney is coming 
up."
     "I'm on it."
                                       *******

     "Kat, you HAD to have missed something," Vlad said as he carefully reviewed the 
psiprint of the Terra Sanguine Holy Monastery and the notes relating to guards, locks, 
sorcerous protections and the like.  Or, in this instance, the lack thereof.  Silence 
greeted him, so he looked up.  Kathana had stiffened much the way a dragon's tentacles 
would before the dragon struck.  He reconsidered.  "Ok, let me rephrase -" 
     "No, Vlad.  Let ME rephrase for you:  'Great job, Kat!  Thanks for doing all of 
my boring legwork.' "
     "Fair enough.  If I told you Toblar's Ruby was stored in this monastery, would 
you believe me?"
     Kathana's eyes widened briefly before she caught on.  "No."
     "Why not?"
     "Because you're a known liar, Vlad."  She wasn't playing along.
     "Besides that, Kat.  Work with me."
     "Because there's no way something that valuable wouldn't be better protected," 
she said, shifting her head side to side in a fair imitation of him as she said it.
     "Right."
     "You DO have to enter your name when you enter the monastery," she added, nodding 
with a look of total sincerity.
     Vlad chuckled at her sarcasm.  "And they don't check?"
     "Nope.  I entered three different times on the same day under different names and 
had no issue getting access to the records.  If I understand what you're thinking of 
doing, you're going to need to enter a LOT of information about the TEABAG warriors 
but you're also going to have to remove some."
     "Do you see any issue with the latter?"
     "Not at all," she concluded, tossing him a finely scripted piece of parchment.  
"That's one of the scrolls from the monastery's archives."Vlad unrolled it and read a 
few of the entries:  "ADM. ITCHYBEARD, 20, 63, AB, Lyin' Den."  "DENN IS SINNED, 21, 
8104, BA, Lyin' Ben."
     "Interesting, so the entry includes the name of the managers that entered them?  
Yeah, no doubt these have to go.  Way too much information about the TEABAG alliance.  
Thanks, Kat.  It looks like we're a go then.  Please have a team of our flunkies 
infiltrate the monastery over the next few days and, uh, update our teams' warriors 
before the big tourney.  Have them bring me any existing entries."
     "They'll need to use a name to enter the monastery.  Do you have any 
preferences?"  
     "Just make sure it's not 'Vlad'."
     Kat laughed and shook her head as she walked out of the office.  In the end, it 
turned out they each had missed something important.  He, to trust his instincts and 
she to understand the need to communicate more clearly to those whose inherent 
skillset had not pushed them above jobs with a title of "flunky." 

                                       *******

     Trump eyed the crowd in the Town Hall meeting from the podium and continued his 
speech.   
      
     "When Lyin' Den sends his warriors, he's not sending his best. He's sending 
people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems to us.  They're 
bringing incompetence.  They're bringing verbosity.  They're down challengers!"
     The assembled crowd gasped, both at his generalization and his amazing coif.
     "When elected, I'm going to build a wall around the AAA guildhouse and make Den 
pay for it!  And it will look super classy.  And you can't ignore huge class.  The AAA 
people we let through the wall through our big, beautiful door will meet our standards 
of greatness.  My wall will be so huge that even the haters and losers will admire it.  
Look at these hands!"
     A reporter raised her own hand.  "Mr. Trump, what's your opinion on Den's 
admission of altering the Terra Sanguine Monastery's parchment archives?"
     Trump shook his head.  "He got schlonged by that High Priest.  I'd build a big 
wall there too but I think the high priest already has one.  Not as tremendously 
classy as mine will be, of course."

                                       *******

     The wailing, like that of certain far away religions, continued on in volume and 
persistence.  Eventually, Terra Sanguine Acolyte and Junior Inquisitor Ben settled 
down and began to think.  How was this possible?  He had entered a challenge against a 
Total Parry for his Aimed Blow and his AB had been leveled by a Lunger instead.  Ben 
was not one to let such a slight pass lightly.  He dug in.  He began to be more and 
more surprised, double and triple checking everything until there could no longer be 
any doubt.  Indignant, he rose and stomped his way to the inner sanctum of the Terra 
Sanguine monastery.  Upon arrival, he caused his name to be announced to High Priest 
Consortium.
     "What is it, good Ben?" Consortium smiled beatifically down at his disciple from 
within his holier-than-thou robes.  "Permit me to suggest you seem wroth!  In fact, 
you look distraught.  Is everything all right?"
     "We have an intrusion, in fact, a desecration," Ben exclaimed.  "The holy warrior 
identification scriptures have been compromised!!  I challenged a Total Parry and got 
a Lunger!  After researching it appears as if the gladiator had false information 
entered.  I tracked it down and discovered that over the last few days, someone named 
'Not Vlad' has altered hundreds of our records including that Lunger my Aimed Blow 
fought.  I wonder who the heretic could be?"  Ben scratched his head and looked 
stumped.
     "Blasphemy!  Someone besides that scoundrel Den has been less than forthcoming?"  
Terra Sanguine High Priest and Chief Inquisitor Consortium looked concerned.  "Moral 
turpitude won't be tolerated by this holy house!  Our scriptures, though they reflect 
the effort of others, are sacrosanct and we will wage holy war upon those who would 
think otherwise!" The High Inquisitor threw his head back and howled with righteous, 
if practiced, indignation, "Not Vlad is hereby added to the Inquisition!  When we find 
out who he is, we'll make sure he is stricken from the Turf War!"
     Junior Inquisitor Ben quivered with excitement at the prospect and ran from the 
sanctum to comply.

                                       *******

     After some bold deduction and a few regrettable missteps, the Inquisition finally 
moved to interrogate Vlad.  Someone had eventually realized all the altered gladiator 
records, with the exception of Den's and others who, apparently, did not merit 
Inquisition attention, were from TEABAG teams.  The High Priest's monks were able to 
trace Vlad's internal psionic aura to his actual physical location at the Cliffs of 
Insanity, where lemmings often frolicked.  The Monastery security monks referred to 
this complicated bit of sorcery as "IP tracing".  Vlad was taken into custody shortly 
thereafter by the High Inquisitor himself.  The horde of ruined parchment, which Vlad 
initially claimed to be his swag from a Trump party, was examined and determined to 
have come from Terra Sanguine.  The parchment was, of course, useless by then and left 
at the bottom of the cliff.
     The trial was sensational.
     Representing himself, Vlad's defense was as spirited and thorough as the 
prosecution had been sanctimonious and brief.  His use of the "Free Property Rights of 
Horse and Carriage" from 1798 was widely hailed as groundbreaking if, ultimately, 
ineffectual.  His impassioned leverage of Zola's defense in the Dreyfus case brought 
tears to more than one spectator's eyes.  Guthrie's "one big pile is better than two 
little piles" defense, which experts noted was directly on point, dealing, as it did, 
with garbage at the bottom of a cliff, did not move the Inquisitor.  Even the Wookie 
defense failed.
     The High Inquisitor summarily found Vlad guilty of moral turpitude though no such 
designation existed within the penal code, effectively making it an unpunishable 
crime.  Similarly, after a brief whispered conversation with Masters Assur and Darque, 
in which Consortium could be seen gesturing angrily, the Turf War panel conceded that 
moral turpitude was not one of the Turf War rules and, given the exhaustive treatment 
of said rules, could not be considered an error of unintentional omission.  It would, 
however, be added for the next contest.  Just when things were looking bleak for the 
Inquisition, they found something that stuck.
     "Littering?!" Vlad repeated, somewhat incredulous.
     "That's right, mister!" The Holy Inquisitor cried, "You are hereby fined 50 
silver and ordered to pick up the garbage at the bottom of the cliff.  And don't let 
us catch you carting garbage around this vicinity again!"

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
      
Turf War 10 Scores - Turn 5                            
                              
Alliance Scores                              
                               Fights               
                               per    Alliance  Team     Turn
Score   Alliance   Record(*)   Team   Points    Points   Score
320     KGGP        16-4(*)     5     14        73       87
314     AM          12-7        4      6        49       55
309     IC         10-10        5      9        45       54
297     CDOOM      10-10        5      9        42       51
265     GLS         6-14        5      9        32       41
264     TWC         11-9        5      9        57       66
257     PANGEA      6-14        5      9        35       44
256     ATX         12-8        5      9        54       63
254     FRODO       10-9        4      6        44       50
249     TEABAG      10-9        4      6        47       53
218     AA           6-9        0      0        28       28
200     M*MBO       7-10        3      3        28       31
142     MERC         4-6        0      0        20       20

Individual Team Scores                       

Score   Team               Record     Endurance   DC's   IAC's

73  KGGP                 
23   WEIRD ALCHEMY         5!-0       25/25, 5    0      0
14   KAOS!                 3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0
18   LES TURFISTES         4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0
18   SERPENTS HOLD II      4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0

49  AM                   
18   HOWLIN MAD            4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0
 9   SATAN'S MINIONS        3-1       24/25, 5    0      0
11   EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE    3-2       25/25, 5    0      0
11   80'S DISCO            2!-3       25/25, 5    0      0

45  IC                   
11   SPECTRAL STEEL        2!-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 8   D.A. REJECTS           2-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 8   A'MERKIN INJUNS        2-3       25/25, 5    0      0
18   BAAL'S MINIONS        4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0

42  CDOOM                
18   BASH BROS PARK        4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0
 8   SHEWISH DINER          2-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 8   GARBAGE PAIL KIDS      2-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 8   CHEERS                 2-3       23/25, 5    0      0

32  GLS                  
 6   STAR PRAIRIE           1-4       25/25, 5    0      0
14   LIFE'S LESSONS        3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0
 6   SNOW FORT              1-4       25/25, 5    0      0
 6   GAS MONKEY             1-4       25/25, 5    0      0

57  TWC                  
14   NATURAL B. KILLERS 2  3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0
11   MENTOR'S MISFITS      2!-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 9   TOKEN ENTRY           1!-4       24/25, 5    0      0
23   THE WILD HUNT         5!-0       24/25, 5    0      0

35  PANGEA                    
 6   RICK AND MORTY         1-4       25/25, 5    0      0
 9   MAILIN MADNESS XXVII  1!-4       25/25, 5    0      0
14   INQUISITION 100       3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0
 6   WICKED MARTYRS         1-4       25/25, 5    0      0

54  ATX                  
18   PAWN OF PROPHECY      4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0
14   TEAM BLACKSTAFF       3!-2       20/25, 4    0      0
 8   DEATHLY HALLOWS        2-3       25/25, 5    0      0
14   TOLBINS HIVE A        3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0

44  FRODO                
14   LAND OF OZ            3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0
 6   SECOND BANANAS         1-4       25/25, 5    0      0
18   ROYAL FLUSH           4!-1       25/25, 5    0      0
 6   MYSTIC ORC FEAST       2-2       23/25, 5    0      0

47  TEABAG                    
18   SPROUT OF MY MIND     4!-1       24/25, 5    0      0
14   BAD BEATS             3!-2       24/25, 5    0      0
 4   WEIRD STUDENTS         1-3       22/25, 5    0      0
11   DESTROYERS LEGION     2!-3       23/25, 5    0      0

28  AA                   
14   BIG LAKE GROOVE       3!-2       25/25, 5    0      0
 0   BIKER LIFE             0-0       20/25, 4    0      0
 8   BIG LAKE MAULERS       2-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 6   FRAYED SANITY          1-4       25/25, 5    0      0

28  M*MBO                
11   OTTODROME TW          2!-3       25/25, 5    0      0
 4   DARQUE FORCES          1-3       24/25, 5    0      0
 2   BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK     1-2       16/25, 4    0      0
11   FAST FOOD              3-2       25/25, 5    0      0

20  MERC                 
 0   DEITYS OF CHAOS       0-0        10/25, 2    0      0
 0   BEYOND THE WALL       0-0        20/25, 4    0      0
 9   THE SOVEREIGN        1!-4        25/25, 5    0      0
11   KHORS VILLANS         3-2        20/25, 4    0      0

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hi all, Mannequin here.  I had every intention of letting Tobias write his own DM 
column.  I encouraged him to write something inspiring for all the DM wannabes in the 
arena.  He was excited about the prospect of being able to open up and show everyone 
what kind of man he really was.  Thank the Gods he asked me to edit his column before 
he submitted it to the Commission for review!
     Instead, let me tell you a little about Tobias and how he came to join my guild.  
     I was enjoying my coffee one morning in front of my guildhouse when I heard a 
commotion.  A man, short in stature and quick of feet, was weaving his way through the 
crowds as he was being chased by a small mob.  Impressed by his athleticism, I waved 
to him and pointed to a doorway in a nearby alley.  Darting first to his left, he 
pivoted to his right and made a mad dash through the door before his pursuers could 
catch him.
     I slammed the door shut and locked it.  Voices could be heard cursing through the 
door but no one dared to try breaking it down.  I stared at the little man.  He looked 
like he had hardly broken a sweat trying to escape the mob.  Impressed by his stamina 
and endurance, I introduced myself, "My name is Mannequin.  How would you like a job 
as a gladiator in my guild?"
     "Tobias Funke," he said with a grin.  He extended his right hand to offer a 
handshake.  I couldn't help noticing the women's undergarments in his left hand as I 
shook his hand.  Tobias quickly hid his hand behind his back.  It was the first of 
many troubling events during his Basic tenure in my guildhouse.
     Tobias Funke, 17-5-4-21-15-11-11, was a spitting image of some young ST's who had 
TC'd for me in the past.  So I started him on a training regimen for ST's.  He poured 
himself into his training and my hopes for him were high.  Unfortunately, the 
differences in training and the arena soon became clear.
     Prior to his first match in the Rookies tourney I was called to the locker room.  
Tobias, wearing a pink robe, was refusing to enter the arena.  I asked him what was 
the problem?  
     "I can't go out there naked!" he said with some dismay.
     "Why not?" I replied.  "That's the way most ST's fight.  You want to do 
everything you can to get the jump on your opponent."
     Tobias ripped open his robe, exposing himself.  He was wearing a pair of tight 
leather shorts.  "I can't go out there like that.  I'm a Never Nude!" he cried.  
     "Fine," I said, "Throw on a leather jerkin and get out there."
     Tobias perked up, "A jerkin?  Really?  I could use a good one."
     I went back to the manager's boxes in the stands.  Tobias didn't do much to 
distinguish himself in the Rookie tourney.  He went 5-3 but most people were talking 
about him throwing down his weapons and trying to win his fights by slapping his 
opponents into submission.
     Things didn't get much better for Tobias in Apprents (5-3-1) or Initiates (3-3-
1).  He showed an affinity for the Short Spear in Apprents.  By the time he was an 
Initiate he had fallen in love with Long Spears.  Tobias skipped Adepts.  He wasn't 
timed for it and frankly, I thought he might get himself killed.  As disappointing as 
his performances were in the tourneys I must give Tobias credit for his ability to be 
a team player in the arena.  He really seemed to enjoy encouraging his teammates with 
a friendly slap on the rump and hugging them after wins.  His 14-2-0 record in the 
arena is one of the better ones in the history of the Second Bananas guild.
     Tobias was absolutely giddy when the GC revealed his faves -- Fist, Very 
Low/Moderate, learns Parry skills.  "I KNEW it," he crowed.  "I knew I wasn't a ST.  
It's obvious they made a mistake.  I'm really an AB."  He was crying as he clutched 
the GC's letter to his chest.
     I think it's been obvious to myself and his teammates that Tobais has been 
struggling with his identity.  We just want to congratulate him and wish him well 
should he try to continue his career on the Isle (though we would STRONGLY encourage 
him not to do so).

                                          -- Mannequin, Mgr of Second Bananas

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in NORTH 
FORK.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Take a 
look at SERPENTS HOLD II's act, as they have a 4-1-0 week and gain 13 places in the 
team ranking.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's 
corny) is WEIRD ALCHEMY, who swept up 16 places in the ranks.  Take a look at KHORS 
VILLANS' act, as they have a 3-2-0 week and gain 11 places in the team ranking.  
Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is LIFE'S 
LESSONS, who swept up 18 places in the ranks.  Take a look at FAST FOOD's act, as 
they have a 3-2-1 week and gain 26 places in the team ranking.  Rising in the ranks 
like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is WHITE SHADOW, who swept up 
18 places in the ranks.  Take a look at PAWN OF PROPHECY's act, as they have a 4-1-0 
week and gain 14 places in the team ranking.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of 
armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is LES TURFISTES, who swept up 17 places in 
the ranks.  Take a look at ROYAL FLUSH's act, as they have a 4-1-0 week and gain 13 
places in the team ranking.  Suffering under a 1-3-0 record and dropping from 5th to 
24th place were the WEIRD STUDENTS.  Keep trying!  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of 
armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is SATAN'S MINIONS, who swept up 14 places 
in the ranks.  A seasoned team is steady in the lists.  But to DARQUE FORCES, which 
fell to 26th, it's what you soak in before going to the Dark Arena.  What goes up, 
must come down.  Watch out NORTH FORK!  WICKED MARTYRS may fall on you as it crushes 
past the teams below it to fall on the 29th spot.  Suffering under a 2-3-0 record and 
dropping from 8th to 31st place were the DEATHLY HALLOWS.  Keep trying!  A seasoned 
team is steady in the lists.  But to A'MERKIN INJUNS, which fell to 33rd, it's what 
you soak in before going to the Dark Arena.  Suffering under a 1-4-0 record and 
dropping from 14th to 37th place were the RICK AND MORTY.  Keep trying!  What goes 
up, must come down.  Watch out NORTH FORK!  SNOW FORT may fall on you as it crushes 
past the teams below it to fall on the 40th spot.  Suffering under a 2-3-0 record and 
dropping from 26th to 42nd place were the DESTROYERS LEGION.  Keep trying!  A 
seasoned team is steady in the lists.  But to FRAYED SANITY, which fell to 43rd, it's 
what you soak in before going to the Dark Arena.  SPROUT OF MY MIND is no joke as it 
posted a 4-1-0 week advancing from 17th place to 9th place.  Hey everybody, watch out 
for DRONE A1, who flew up 32 points in the rankings after mashing LILITH like a 
melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on 
the sands.  PHANTOM PIKEMAN lost to ORESTES and drops 18 points.  Well here's a 
duelmaster that doesn't sit back and say 'Challenge me'!  TOBIAS FUNKE made a 
challenge against CYCLONUS this week.  Our battling duelmaster TOBIAS FUNKE has 
managed to hold the title, fending off CYCLONUS' none too subtle advances.  Better 
luck next time, DARQUE FORCES.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect the body, so 
try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the NORTH FORK arena.  Did 
you hear that SECOND BANANAS was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of SECOND BANANAS' warriors, I'm not surprised!  For those of you 
who like math, try this one:  SECOND BANANAS + Weapons That go Boom = DARQUE FORCES + 
Avoid City.  And who is this DOG ON THE LOOSE you ask, with 129 points and a 16-12-1 
record.  Ooh, the tales I could tell!  Well, it looks like KOBE wasn't happy with 
last turn's rank, so it went for broke by challenging up 33 points.  No guts, no 
glory.  A Carrion Bird Sellout:  KOBE 12-3-0 fights JACK O'LANTERN 9-5-0.  (BYOB) In 
a mismatch, our friend LION of LAND OF OZ got heroic notions and challenged THE 
DOCTOR.  What did it get him?  A 23-10-0 record, that's what.  To the crowd's chants 
of 'Bo-zo bo-zo bo-zo', THE DOCTOR was taken out by the lower-ranked LION.  (Maybe 
it's time to think Dark Arena?).   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  This round goes to TOLBINS HIVE A, their 
10-3-2 warrior, DRONE A1 slew the 11-4-1 LILITH.  Stay tuned next week to see what 
happens.  I have no doubt that NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 will be celebrating long and loud 
their warrior SIR KILLALOT's slaying of PEANUT BLUBBER on the sands.  For those of 
you who missed it, Death showed up, grabbed ADOBE GILLIS by the ear and took him away 
to a place where he won't need a coat.  Congrats to HOMIE D. CLONE for revenging the 
death of his teammate (but more importantly, feeding EAT IT RAW a bit of dirt).  In 
the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, YETI was mashed by POUTINE, who let YETI know 
that killing members of FAST FOOD is a no-no.  Congrats to FAST EEEK for revenging 
the death of his teammate (but more importantly, feeding BUSEY a bit of dirt).  
Knowing when to use the right tactics at the proper time is a very important step on 
the road to Duelmaster.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in NORTH FORK have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  Its been real, and its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun...-- The 
Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JACK O'LANTERN 2762           9   5  0   154       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCORPION KING 4718           12   4  0   148       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 DOOM SLINGER 6335            17   6  1   137       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 DOG ON THE LOOSE 7756        16  12  1   129       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 TEENS SUCKING FACE 8040      13   4  1   128       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 DRONE A1 8097                10   3  2   126       TOLBINS HIVE A (785)
 WARGRATH 8735                10   3  0   109       KAOS! (811)
 ELEPHANT 7127                13   8  2   104       TOKEN ENTRY (725)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FAITH 8944                   23  24  1   102       SERPENTS HOLD II (820)
 CRAPULODON 4305              20  20  0   102       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 NICK TORTELLI 8176           13   7  0   100       CHEERS (659)
 DRESDEN 7237                 10   6  0   100       TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)
 THE DOCTOR 8142              14   6  0    98       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 RELAX 8706                    8   3  0    98       80'S DISCO (810)
 MARLBORO MAN 8145            10   8  1    95       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 HOMIE D. CLONE 5546           5   1  0    95       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 CRYSTAL BALL 8257            15  11  1    94       LAND OF OZ (217)
 DEL ICIOUS 8221              14   5  0    93       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 HABANERO 8669                15   5  1    92       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
 CYCLONUS 8365                 9   4  1    92       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 JINX 7951                    16  19  1    91       TEAM TOONS (764)
 KOBE 8910                    12   3  0    91       SERPENTS HOLD II (820)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NIMBLE FOX 8135              13   7  2    89       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 WALKER 8907                  12   8  0    89       SERPENTS HOLD II (820)
 SKYWARP 8063                 12  10  1    87       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 DRONE A4 8098                 8   5  0    87       TOLBINS HIVE A (785)
 NIGHTS CALL 7989             15  21  0    86       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 DON QUIXOTE 8393             12   6  0    85       BAD BEATS (791)
 ORESTES 8391                 10   9  1    85       WHITE SHADOW (779)
-CALLAMYTIE 8748              12  15  1    84       BEYOND THE WALL (812)
 DWES EG SALAD 8639           16   9  1    82       SHEWISH DINER (806)
 SIR KILLALOT 6020            11   9  1    82       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 BLINDING MAN 8417             9   5  0    81       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 LATE OR EARLY 8183           10   5  0    80       LES TURFISTES (727)
 EAT IT RAW 7996              11   8  1    73       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
 PEPPER 8958                   7   1  0    73       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
 DEPUTY FIFE 7768             16  10  1    72       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 VICKY MENDOZA 8048           10  11  0    71       GAS MONKEY (783)
 MUMMY MUSKETEER 8146          9   6  0    71       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 DIGITAL POP 8864              5   0  0    71       MAILIN MADNESS XXVII (817)
 HOMEY D. CLONE 5637          14  12  0    70       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 SLUMBERING TRUNK 8134        10  11  1    70       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 SHANE 8902                    6   0  0    70       SERPENTS HOLD II (820)
 MR. WOLF 7401                15  15  0    69       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 BROKEN POND 8105             10  11  0    68       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PHANTOM PIKEMAN 8277         11   9  0    66       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 JACK B. QUICK 8246            8  20  0    66       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 PLAGUE PARADE 8165            7   8  0    66       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 SUPERSIZE ME 8110            12   7  0    65       FAST FOOD (724)
 BEARDED FREAK 7995           11   9  0    65       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
 GOLDEN CAP 8378              11   6  0    65       LAND OF OZ (217)
 LIL PRINCESS 8370             7   5  0    65       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 ONE TIME! 8396               12   6  0    64       BAD BEATS (791)
 SEX (I'M A) 8704              5   1  0    64       80'S DISCO (810)
 ODIN AVERSSON 7968           11  30  0    63       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 MORGAN 7235                  10   8  0    63       TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)
 STINK FACE 8688               5   1  0    63       HOWLIN MAD (809)
-BAD INK 8501                  6   2  0    62       BIKER LIFE (796)
 TWEET 8861                    6   0  0    60       SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)
 SUMMER 8811                   5   2  0    60       RICK AND MORTY (814)
 CHIN CHECK 8773               5   0  0    60       HOWLIN MAD (809)
 BLIZZARD 8887                 4   3  0    59       SNOW FORT (819)
 BIG PIGEON 7411               5   5  0    58       THE OPERA (613)
 RICK 8810                     6   1  1    57       RICK AND MORTY (814)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEGO CAB 8230                 8   6  0    56       LES TURFISTES (727)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OOKLA THE MOK 8468            7   5  1    56       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 PARSIFAL 7414                 7   0  0    55       THE OPERA (613)
 O'JAY 8291                    6   4  1    55       MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)
 BARNEY STINSON 8307           6   6  0    55       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 HENCHMAN 8756                 5   1  0    55       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
 FIDDLE 7898                  11  17  0    54       OTTODROME TW (728)
-SLUDGE 8470                   5   2  1    53       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 MUNCHKIN 8432                 8   7  0    52       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BARSTOOL 5 8253              11   6  0    51       CHEERS (659)
 ANGRY CLAM 8267               8   6  0    51       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
 SABNOCK 8820                  4   1  0    51       WICKED MARTYRS (815)
 CRYING KID 8392               4   1  0    51       BASH BROS PARK (766)
-A 4422                        9   7  0    50       SUPERIOR FORCES 6K (494)
 HARRY SLAUGHTER 8493          7   4  1    50       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 QUICK SAND 8419               7   7  0    50       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 LACKEY 8760                   3   2  0    50       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
 KIND KOHL 8616                4   1  0    49       WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
 RUNS WITH SPEAR 8215          8  12  2    48       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 BUSTED ACES 8580              6   3  0    48       BAD BEATS (791)
 EPHYRA 8372                  10  11  1    47       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 RUNNY LEGS 8623               7   6  1    47       SHEWISH DINER (806)
 SUNSTORM 8377                 7   5  0    47       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 BLACK CHAOS 8872              6   9  0    47       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 SAD STRIKER 8615              5   0  0    47       WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
 GET THE POINT? 5097           7  18  1    46       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 STARFURY 8596                 5   3  1    46       DESTROYERS LEGION (804)
 APEX PREDATOR 8651            5   3  0    46       THE WILD HUNT (802)
 SUZI Q 8565                   4   2  0    46       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 HOWLSTORM 8556                3   4  1    45       THE WILD HUNT (802)
 BLOODFIRE 8559                4   1  1    44       THE WILD HUNT (802)
 FILTHY HANDS 8440             4   1  0    44       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
-CLAMTASTIC 7994              10   7  0    43       BUBBA'S CLAM SHACK (780)
 LAUGHING LUNATIC 8264         7  11  0    43       A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
 LE GRELE 8252                 6   6  0    43       LES TURFISTES (727)
 JACK THE BLADE 8521           5   5  0    43       BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)
 HAWKINS 8949                  4   1  0    43       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
 HATTY 8859                    5   2  0    42       SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)
 MORTY 8809                    6   3  0    40       RICK AND MORTY (814)
 DRONE A11 8599                4   2  0    40       TOLBINS HIVE A (785)
 RUFF RUFF 8860                3   4  0    40       SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)
 RON WE SLAY 8494              7   4  1    39       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 LUCCIO 7303                   6  12  1    39       TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)
 MEAN MUG 8686                 5   1  0    38       HOWLIN MAD (809)
 SILK 8229                     8   8  0    37       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 GRANULO 8496                  7   4  0    37       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 DUMBLEGORE 8492               6   5  1    36       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 TRIGGER HAPPY COP 8691        4   1  0    36       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 DIANE 8574                    5   4  0    35       CHEERS (659)
 BOJ 8858                      4   1  0    35       SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)
 BETH 8803                     4   6  0    35       RICK AND MORTY (814)
 HIPPSTER 8953                 4   3  0    35       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
 DIRTY LOOK 8684               3   3  0    35       HOWLIN MAD (809)
 MOONDOG 8591                  3   3  0    35       THE WILD HUNT (802)
 GORISTRO 8589                 2   3  0    35       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 OPTIMUS PRIMAL 8297           9   6  1    34       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 QUAGMIRE 8272                 6   9  1    34       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 HOMESTEADER 8413              5  10  1    34       BIG IDEA (32)
 JERRY 8804                    5   5  0    34       RICK AND MORTY (814)
 DRINKING DRUNK 8617           4   1  0    34       WEIRD STUDENTS (805)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FAST EEEK 8682                4   2  0    33       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 MUD PATH 8767                 4   1  0    33       BASH BROS PARK (766)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ON SECOND THOUGHT 8600        4   1  0    33       OTTODROME TW (728)
 HEADLESS NICK 8776            4   2  0    33       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 CONVERSATION 8672             3   2  0    33       INQUISITION 100 (807)
 POUTINE 8769                  3   2  0    33       FAST FOOD (724)
 FEEL THE BERN 9001            3   0  0    33       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 DIVIN' IVAN 8539              5   3  0    32       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 KVT3 8965                     2   2  0    32       KHORS VILLANS (823)
 BRONWYN 8774                  4   1  0    31       DESTROYERS LEGION (804)
 HIRELING 8763                 3   3  0    31       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
 BULLY 8410                    2   3  0    31       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 HOBO CASSEROLE 8622           3   2  1    30       SHEWISH DINER (806)
 -ZERO 8881                    3   3  0    30       SNOW FORT (819)
 WINSTON 8732                  3   2  0    29       KAOS! (811)
 LISTER 8462                   3   2  0    29       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 OCTOGAB 8382                  5   1  0    28       LES TURFISTES (727)
 GHOST PEPPER 8722             5   0  0    28       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
 THE SAFETY DANCE 8700         4   2  0    28       80'S DISCO (810)
 NOMA S 8597                   3   4  0    28       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-FALSE BRAVADO 8538            4   3  0    27       BIKER LIFE (796)
 AMORA 8737                    4   1  0    27       KAOS! (811)
 HUMBUG 8655                   2   3  0    27       LAND OF OZ (217)
 DESPERO 8848                  1   4  0    27       WICKED MARTYRS (815)
 ALIISZA 8871                  6   6  0    26       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 GALAXIE 8339                  6   6  0    26       GAS MONKEY (783)
 PHAROS 8478                   5   7  1    26       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 AMIINANY DANGER 8491          5   6  1    26       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 MIKEY 8951                    3   5  2    26       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
 JEB! 9002                     3   0  0    26       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 P-NUT FIREBEARD 8874          6   7  0    25       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 AGENT 99 8694                 4   1  0    25       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 DARKMIGHT 8594                2   5  0    25       DESTROYERS LEGION (804)
 BUSEY 8293                    5   4  1    24       MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)
 TORAK 8341                    5   6  0    24       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 GLADIUS 8873                  5   9  0    24       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 WHITE WIZARD 8734             4   3  0    24       KAOS! (811)
 GORE GORE GIRL 8679           3   3  0    24       TOKEN ENTRY (725)
-LACK OF HYGIENE 8754          3   1  0    24       BIKER LIFE (796)
 IRONFANG 8967                 3   1  0    24       KHORS VILLANS (823)
 CORSON 8821                   2   3  1    24       WICKED MARTYRS (815)
 TEACH 8673                    2   3  0    24       INQUISITION 100 (807)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-OBNOXIOUS NOISE 8537          4   3  0    23       BIKER LIFE (796)
 BARAK 8813                    4   1  0    23       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 YETI 8878                     3   2  1    23       SNOW FORT (819)
 TEFAL MINATOR 8383            3   2  0    23       LES TURFISTES (727)
 SHEENA 8474                   2   3  0    23       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 BROCK TULGREN 8528            6   4  0    22       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 SCHWEDERSKE 8525              6   4  0    22       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 MR. RODGERS 8853              4   1  0    22       MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)
 VIKING VAMPIRE 8992           3   0  0    22       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 OLAF 8880                     2   4  0    22       SNOW FORT (819)
 DRONE A12 8790                3   3  1    21       TOLBINS HIVE A (785)
 SKULGARR THE CRUEL 8987       3   0  0    21       KHORS VILLANS (823)
 WHIPPED CREAM 8768            3   2  0    21       FAST FOOD (724)
 GRIM JIM 8986                 3   0  0    21       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)
 OODLES OF TALENT 8795         2   3  0    21       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 FRIED MICE 8995               1   2  0    21       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 MYTHBUSTER 8658               3   3  0    20       BIG IDEA (32)
 GASEOUS CLAY 8516             3   4  0    20       OTTODROME TW (728)
 YEAH 8671                     2   3  0    20       INQUISITION 100 (807)
 THE KID 8690                  2   3  0    19       D.A. REJECTS (787)
 PIMPIN' PETE 8785             2   3  0    19       GARBAGE PAIL KIDS (784)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SERVANT 9014                  2   0  0    19       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
 KING NATHEL 8814              3   2  0    18       PAWN OF PROPHECY (730)
 THUGGER JAX 8524              2   8  2    18       BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)
 SLINGHOT 8787                 2   3  0    18       GAS MONKEY (783)
 DARKWATCH 8998                2   1  0    18       THE WILD HUNT (802)
 RUNNER RUNNER 8789            2   2  0    18       BAD BEATS (791)
 ARMORED TEAPOT 8866           1   4  1    18       MAILIN MADNESS XXVII (817)
 JOE BANANAS 8681              3   3  0    17       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 BEL AIR 8788                  3   2  0    17       GAS MONKEY (783)
 STING 8999                    2   1  0    17       SERPENTS HOLD II (820)
 HYPERACTIVATE 8699            2   3  0    17       80'S DISCO (810)
 SEABLOOM 8527                 3   7  0    16       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 SNOWPUNCH 8981                3   1  0    16       SNOW FORT (819)
 LEGIONNAIRE LICH 9009         2   0  0    16       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 HELLEYEZ 9011                 1   1  0    16       DESTROYERS LEGION (804)
 ANYTHING ELSE 8670            2   3  0    15       INQUISITION 100 (807)
 BLUE MONDAY 8697              2   3  0    15       80'S DISCO (810)
 VALAC 8819                    2   3  0    15       WICKED MARTYRS (815)
-LEATHER VEST 8499             1   6  0    15       BIKER LIFE (796)
 LARRY 8982                    1   2  0    15       MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)
 FRESH UNDERWEAR 8766          1   4  0    15       INQUISITION 100 (807)
 DIOMEDES 8564                 3   5  0    14       WHITE SHADOW (779)
 BLANSKI 8604                  3   5  0    14       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 GREEDY GIMP 8731              2   3  1    14       TOKEN ENTRY (725)
 FIVE-DOLLAR RAY 8572          2   7  1    14       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 BALDR 8794                    2   3  0    14       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
-TURTLE NINJA 8988             1   1  1    14       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 MAX MEGADOOM 8976             3   1  0    13       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 PITCHING ACE 8799             2   3  0    13       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 VINCE 9003                    2   1  0    13       TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)
-ANGERBODA 9027                1   0  0    13       BEYOND THE WALL (812)
 FRUIT CUP 9024                2   0  1    12       FAST FOOD (724)
 DRONE A13 8863                2   3  0    12       TOLBINS HIVE A (785)
 VOLDAWROTH 8968               2   2  0    12       KHORS VILLANS (823)
 SLUSH PUPPY 9023              2   0  0    12       FAST FOOD (724)
 VARS FOLLEY 9025              1   1  1    12       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
 CHALUPA BATMAN 9043           1   0  0    12       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
 HJORVARDR 8792                3   2  0    11       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 EMO 8854                      3   2  0    11       HOWLIN MAD (809)
 JAKE THE JIGGLER 8782         2   4  0    11       BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)
 YAO MING 8726                 2   5  0    11       MENTOR'S MISFITS (789)
 QUEEN LATIFAH 9038            1   0  0    11       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-CHALE HOLMES 8724             3   1  0    10       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 BLADE WING 8966               1   3  0    10       KHORS VILLANS (823)
 VARYSS 8733                   2   3  0     9       KAOS! (811)
 FREJA 8727                    1   6  0     9       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 FOREST GARDENER 8765          0   5  0     9       BIG IDEA (32)
-TRUMP STUMP 8857              2   1  0     8       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 GOOD OL'BOY 8993              2   1  0     8       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 THE GUT STOMPER 8784          1   5  0     8       BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)
 HOMINY JOB 9005               2   1  0     7       MAILIN MADNESS XXVII (817)
-WHIPPITA 8989                 1   0  1     7       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 TURF WAR EUPHORIA 8865        1   4  0     7       MAILIN MADNESS XXVII (817)
 BOLA 8579                     1   3  0     6       TEAM BLACKSTAFF (735)
 LILAC ROSE 4943               1   1  0     6       SUPERIOR FORCES 6K (494)
 SPEENS & LICE 9012            0   2  0     6       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 BANSHEE 9000                  1   2  0     5       GAS MONKEY (783)
-ARTEMISIA 8740                0   5  0     5       BEYOND THE WALL (812)
 GEIR 8793                     0   5  0     5       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 PARADIGM 9018                 1   1  0     4       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 KELLY GAINES 9008             1   1  0     4       CHEERS (659)
 DRAWING DEAD 9026             1   1  0     4       BAD BEATS (791)
 EDMOND FITZDEED 8997          0   3  0     3       BIG LAKE MAULERS (798)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CURVED DERVISH 9017           0   2  0     2       BIG IDEA (32)
 NEW WORLD ORDER 9030          0   2  0     2       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 GHOST OF A CHANCE 9028        0   2  0     2       MAILIN MADNESS XXVII (817)
 JUMPING JOE 8994              0   2  0     2       WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
 HOMELAND SECURITY 9029        0   2  0     2       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 BEER HALL GIRL 9016           0   2  0     2       BIG IDEA (32)
 SRIRACHA 9042                 0   1  0     1       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
-JUNO SABE 8990                0   1  0     1       CLAN KITFOX (781)
 OHGUS 9022                    0   1  0     1       DESTROYERS LEGION (804)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
TILT! 8605              0  5 0 BAD BEATS 791        MIKEY 8951            365   
GYPSY 8742              1  6 0 BEYOND THE WALL 812  THUGGER JAX 8524      364  REVENGED
I'M INTERESTING 8800    1  4 0 BIG LAKE GROOVE 792  FOIE GRAS SWEETI      368  NONE
THURMAN MERMAN 8783     1  2 1 BIG LAKE MAULERS 798 HOWLSTORM 8556        365   
HARRY THE HAT 8695      0  2 0 CHEERS 659           TURTLE NINJA 8988     366   
LILITH 8219            11  4 1 CHEERS 659           DRONE A1 8097         368   
DULCINEA 8480           4  4 0 CLAN KITFOX 781      MR NANCY 8568         364  NOT REVENGED
FOE SHOW 8576           3  2 0 CLAN KITFOX 781      RICK 8810             364  NOT REVENGED
HOT TAMALE 8798         1  4 0 EL CAMINO:HOT SA 808 FRUIT CUP 9024        368   
$5 SANDWICH 8486        0  1 0 FAST FOOD 724        YETI 8878             364  JUST REVENGED
BARRACUDA 8786          0  2 0 GAS MONKEY 783       FIVE-DOLLAR RAY 8572  365   
JENNA 5099             18 28 4 LIFE'S LESSONS 562   EAT IT RAW 7996       365  JUST REVENGED
SCRAWNY CAT 8868        0  2 0 MAILIN MADNESS X 817 DRONE A12 8790        365   
CHOP SEWEE 8553         0  2 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 HOBO CASSEROLE 8622   365   
DEAD MEAT 9045          0  1 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 LIVING GERARD         368  NONE
MEAT LOAFER 8796        0  3 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 STARFURY 8596         367   
ADOBE GILLIS 8309       6  8 0 OTTODROME TW 728     BLOODFIRE 8559        368   
NIPSEY RUSSELL 8359     2  5 0 OTTODROME TW 728     CHEEKY SNAIL          368  NONE
BOOTLICKER 8985         0  1 0 SATAN'S MINIONS 813  WHIPPITA 8989         366   
FLUNKY 8758             0  2 0 SATAN'S MINIONS 813  VOTAN 8569            365   
ORC RIND 9020           1  1 0 SHEWISH DINER 806    LEGLESS FROG          368  NONE
PEANUT BLUBBER 8624     7  4 0 SHEWISH DINER 806    SIR KILLALOT 6020     368   
UNDEATH AVOIDED 9046    0  1 0 SPECTRAL STEEL 778   HAIRY ANDOUILLET      368  NONE
DAVE 8862               2  4 0 SPROUT OF MY MIN 816 CREAMY OYSTER         368  NONE
GUARALDI 8975           0  1 0 TEAM BLACKSTAFF 735  SLUDGE 8470           365   
DA1 9040                0  1 0 TOKEN ENTRY 725      FOIE GRAS SWEETI      368  NONE
DA2 9041                0  1 0 TOKEN ENTRY 725      VARS FOLLEY 9025      368   
ELVIS FROM HELL 8780    0  1 0 TOKEN ENTRY 725      CORSON 8821           364  REVENGED
AETHER MARINE 8755      1  1 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 480    BUSEY 8293            364  JUST REVENGED
COOL CLARK 8613         2  1 0 WEIRD STUDENTS 805   EPHYRA 8372           366   
FAILING FTF 8614        0  1 0 WEIRD STUDENTS 805   ARMORED TEAPOT 8866   364  NOT REVENGED
WANDERING WARD 8973     0  1 0 WEIRD STUDENTS 805   GREEDY GIMP 8731      365   
AMON 9039               0  1 0 WICKED MARTYRS 815   CREAMY OYSTER         368  NONE
BRANDY ALEX 8824        4  3 0 WICKED MARTYRS 815   FAITH 8944            367   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

"Hopefully I still remember how to run my scoring spreadsheet! -- Assur"  Well, you 
sorta did! -- Oz The All-Knowing

FRODO friends -- "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." Shall that be us 
soon? -- Oz The All-Questioning

Cyclonus, that was a dirty trick your manager played on mine.  And, it hurt! -Lion, 
Land of Oz

Marlboro Man, tsk, tsk.  Thanks for the challenge.  I needed an easy win. -- Crystal 
Ball, Land of Oz

Scarlet Den, you should be proud of your friends who have pointed out some rotten 
going-ons in DM.  They are heroes. -- Oz The All-Informed

2)+2)Summer, you challenged?  You wanted my beautiful cap?  Perhaps, had you been 
winter, you may have had a better chance?  Nah.  Perhaps not. -- Golden Cap, Land of 
Oz

Roar! Roar!  As a newly appointed Lord Protector, I will be taking the yellow brick 
road to The Isle.  I think Oz is glad as he desires warriors with boat loads of 
courage.  However, I shall take my studly 17(+2)-21(+3)-13-9(+2)-19(+3)-7(+1)-11(+2) 
golden mane, with my singular AdEx in Parry, and skip on away to The Promised Land. -- 
Lion, Land Of Oz

Digital Pop, you made me cry uncle and humbug and ouchie.  I salute you.  I thought I 
was challenging a Dingy Mop, but now I see my mistake. -- Humbug, Land Of Oz

Tweet, pfbttttttttt! -- Munchkin, Land of Oz

Manta, that was very kind of you to try to help the Scarlet Den last round.  I hope 
you succeeded. -- Oz The All Hopeful

Health. Humility. Honor. -- Oz The All-Philosophical
P.S. (And for clean Terrablood databases also.)

Due to the untimely demise of Brandy Alex, I am hereby announcing my new champion in 
the Turf Wars, Valac. -- DMobster, mgr. Wicked Martyrs

Wednesday -- Where are you, dude?  We're trying to win here, so we need you. -- 
Scorpio

Drone A11 -- I had heard my armor type was effective against your weapon.  I had heard 
wrong. -- Blue Monday

Armored Teapot -- I hit your handle AND your spout! -- Hyperactivate

Be it known that Spectral Steel names Legionnaire Lich as it's new champion! -- DD

Great turn alliance mates!  Had I been on the ball and named my replacement champ last 
turn we'd only be 1 point out of first.  Let's keep this going! -- DD

I'm Interesting -- You are not aptly named! -- Viking Vampire

Ghost Of A Chance -- Why yes, I would agree! -- Legionnaire Lich

Get The Point? -- Once or twice, yes.  It will take a lot more 'points' to defeat me! 
-- Mummy Musketeer

Dirty Look -- You ought to know a lady like me doesn't like getting a dirty look from 
anyone.  Good thing you didn't wolf whistle in my direction.  I might have had to put 
you down for good. -- Agent 99

Crying Kid -- You're the reason why I'm never going to settle down and have kids. -- 
Barney Stinson

Ruff Ruff -- Nice challenge, you nearly had me.  I bet you were impressed by the moves 
I busted out in desperation.  -- Quagmire

Drone A4 -- Take me back to the hive! -- Tobias Funke

Crapulodon -- I can't believe I lost to someone named Cra..... -- Deputy Fife

Floyd -- A challenge?!?  Really?!?  I thought you were ranked among the most lazy of 
managers, but apparently even you know (and are sometimes able and willing) how to 
fill out the challenge section of the strategy sheet. -- Assur

Consortium -- I'm hurt!  Humbug?  I admit I'm unconventional, but not sure that 
qualifies for humbug-ness. -- Assur

Clockwork Doom -- Great job!  Third best score for the turn.  Unfortunately, the top 
two scores belonged to the teams above us. -- Assur

Anything Else -- I'd think you'd have gotten enough after that beating -- Bully

Yao Ming -- The taller they are...  Watch out for those slippery spots -- Mud Path

Barney Stinson -- Unfair!  Waaaa Waaaa Waaaaa! -- Crying Kid

Lackey -- Satan's Minions lives don't matter.  See ya around the hood, boy! -- Trigger 
Happy Cop

Drawing Dead -- I think I have the nerf version of that weapon. -- New World Order

Darkwatch -- Couldn't have just given up and let your captian win eh?! -- Homeland 
Security

Slumbering Trunk -- You should have stayed sleeping...- Sirkillalot

Geir -- You need to swing that thing, boy!  Swing, I say! -- Good Ol boy

Lost in the mailer:  Suicide I -- AB 9-14-11-15-9-9-17,  White Republican AB -- 5-9-
12-15-17-11-17. We are more than happy with the replacements! -- Maximillian

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NIPSEY RUSSELL was butchered by CHEEKY SNAIL in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
DAVE was murdered by CREAMY OYSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
I'M INTERESTING was killed by FOIE GRAS SWEETIE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ORC RIND was dealt death by LEGLESS FROG in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
UNDEATH AVOIDED was murdered by HAIRY ANDOUILLETTE in a 1 minute competition.
DA1 was viciously butchered by FOIE GRAS SWEETIE in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
AMON was executed by CREAMY OYSTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
DEAD MEAT was slain by LIVING GERARD in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
HOMIE D. CLONE vanquished EAT IT RAW in a popular 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud duel.
POUTINE won victory over YETI in a popular 1 minute Bloodfeud duel.
FAST EEEK overpowered BUSEY in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud match.
DIGITAL POP overpowered KIND KOHL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
O'JAY handily defeated HIPPSTER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
STINK FACE demolished FIDDLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
HEADLESS NICK handily defeated MYTHBUSTER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
TOBIAS FUNKE vanquished CYCLONUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
DEL ICIOUS was vanquished by DOOM SLINGER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
KOBE was devastated by JACK O'LANTERN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title brawl.
LION beat THE DOCTOR in a exciting 3 minute veteran's Challenge match.
DRONE A1 killed LILITH in a crowd pleasing 2 minute master's Challenge fight.
RELAX was unbelievably bested by DOG ON THE LOOSE in a 6 minute Challenge bout.
DWES EG SALAD overpowered MUMMY MUSKETEER in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fray.
NICK TORTELLI viciously subdued MARLBORO MAN in a 5 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
ELEPHANT slimly won victory over CRYSTAL BALL in a 4 minute veteran's Challenge match.
HOMEY D. CLONE was savagely defeated by JINX in a 2 minute expert's Challenge match.
SIR KILLALOT easily killed PEANUT BLUBBER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
BARNEY STINSON was beaten by PLAGUE PARADE in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
BLINDING MAN won victory over MR. WOLF in a popular 1 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
SHANE won victory over RICK in a popular 3 minute brutal Challenge fray.
NIGHTS CALL subdued PEPPER in a exciting 3 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
LEGO CAB beat QUICK SAND in a exciting 5 minute expert's Challenge bout.
HARRY SLAUGHTER was bested by LIL PRINCESS in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
MUNCHKIN unbelievably bested HAWKINS in a exciting 6 minute bloody Challenge battle.
QUAGMIRE was overpowered by SAD STRIKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
EPHYRA was subdued by BROKEN POND in a exciting 3 minute master's Challenge match.
STARFURY viciously subdued LUCCIO in a popular 3 minute gruesome Challenge bout.
SEX (I'M A) overpowered LE GRELE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
TWEET viciously subdued BARSTOOL 5 in a exciting 4 minute gory Challenge duel.
BETH was narrowly defeated by SUZI Q in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
HATTY devastated -ZERO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
DRONE A11 vanquished BULLY in a 6 minute bloody one-sided Challenge conflict.
APEX PREDATOR overpowered JERRY in a 3 minute uneven Challenge competition.
DARKMIGHT was luckily beaten by GHOST PEPPER in a 14 minute Challenge fight.
BUSTED ACES vanquished HUMBUG in a action packed 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
BOJ viciously subdued WHITE WIZARD in a 2 minute brutal Challenge duel.
WHIPPED CREAM was demolished by JACK THE BLADE in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
SUNSTORM demolished HOBO CASSEROLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
THE KID was overpowered by TRIGGER HAPPY COP in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
GORE GORE GIRL was overcome by SILK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
BRONWYN luckily beat DESPERO in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory Challenge battle.
DUMBLEGORE bested P-NUT FIREBEARD in a 2 minute Challenge match.
AMIINANY DANGER was demolished by RUFF RUFF in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
DIRTY LOOK overpowered MIKEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
MEAN MUG bested HOMESTEADER in a 5 minute Challenge fight.
SHEENA outlasted BLANSKI in a unpopular 14 minute Challenge brawl.
CORSON was devastated by GORISTRO in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
VALAC lost to TORAK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
KVT3 demolished PIMPIN' PETE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
KING NATHEL unbelievably bested BLUE MONDAY in a popular 3 minute Challenge fight.
DIOMEDES was demolished by DIANE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
PITCHING ACE was overpowered by TEFAL MINATOR in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BLADE WING was overpowered by SERVANT in a tiresome 4 minute uneven Challenge melee.
FRIED MICE outlasted SNOWPUNCH in a dull 20 minute Challenge battle.
MUD PATH overpowered GLADIUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
GREEDY GIMP was demolished by TEACH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
FIVE-DOLLAR RAY was beaten by OLAF in a 1 minute Challenge match.
HIRELING savagely defeated BROCK TULGREN in a popular 2 minute gory Challenge bout.
ARMORED TEAPOT was defeated by IRONFANG in a 3 minute Challenge brawl.
FEEL THE BERN vanquished HYPERACTIVATE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
GHOST OF A CHANCE was handily defeated by VINCE in a 1 minute Challenge match.
TURF WAR EUPHORIA was vanquished by OODLES OF TALENT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
FRUIT CUP narrowly killed HOT TAMALE in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
STING demolished BANSHEE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge conflict.
SPEENS & LICE was demolished by THE SAFETY DANCE in a 3 minute Challenge duel.
GOOD OL'BOY outlasted DRAWING DEAD in a dull 13 minute novice's Challenge conflict.
HOMINY JOB was viciously subdued by GASEOUS CLAY in a 3 minute Challenge duel.
HELLEYEZ was bested by WINSTON in a 1 minute amateur vs. veteran Challenge match.
LEGIONNAIRE LICH narrowly defeated FREJA in a 4 minute Challenge fray.
MAX MEGADOOM defeated FOREST GARDENER in a 5 minute Challenge match.
FAITH handily defeated ONE TIME! in a popular 1 minute mismatched match.
CRAPULODON subdued NIMBLE FOX in a action packed 1 minute expert's bout.
SCORPION KING demolished SLUMBERING TRUNK in a exciting 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
TEENS SUCKING FACE overpowered DRONE A4 in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
WARGRATH devastated VICKY MENDOZA in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
SKYWARP was defeated by DRESDEN in a 2 minute master's fight.
DON QUIXOTE slimly won victory over DEPUTY FIFE in a 2 minute brutal veteran's fight.
HABANERO overpowered BIG PIGEON in a popular 1 minute uneven battle.
LATE OR EARLY devastated BLIZZARD in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SUPERSIZE ME was devastated by WALKER in a action packed 1 minute one-sided melee.
PHANTOM PIKEMAN was devastated by ORESTES in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ODIN AVERSSON was overcome by OOKLA THE MOK in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BEARDED FREAK defeated LACKEY in a action packed 5 minute gruesome brawl.
GOLDEN CAP won victory over BLACK CHAOS in a 3 minute brutal competition.
ANGRY CLAM was luckily beaten by MORGAN in a 4 minute gory duel.
JACK B. QUICK vanquished GET THE POINT? in a 1 minute uneven fray.
RUNS WITH SPEAR was luckily beaten by FILTHY HANDS in a 3 minute competition.
PARSIFAL demolished PHAROS in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
DRINKING DRUNK was devastated by HENCHMAN in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
RUNNY LEGS savagely defeated AMORA in a popular 2 minute gory fight.
SUMMER overpowered LISTER in a action packed 1 minute bloody one-sided brawl.
MORTY was unbelievably bested by CRYING KID in a 2 minute gruesome duel.
LAUGHING LUNATIC overpowered GALAXIE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DIVIN' IVAN was overpowered by HOWLSTORM in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
ADOBE GILLIS was dealt death by BLOODFIRE in a 2 minute bloody fray.
SABNOCK vanquished MR. RODGERS in a action packed 1 minute bloody uneven duel.
CHIN CHECK overpowered RON WE SLAY in a 1 minute one-sided match.
GRANULO vanquished FRESH UNDERWEAR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
AGENT 99 was luckily beaten by ON SECOND THOUGHT in a crowd pleasing 5 minute duel.
OPTIMUS PRIMAL was devastated by CONVERSATION in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MOONDOG handily defeated DRONE A12 in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
RUNNER RUNNER bested GEIR in a 1 minute match.
BEL AIR outwaited EMO in a unpopular 17 minute contest.
SLINGHOT was subdued by OCTOGAB in a exciting 2 minute contest.
THE GUT STOMPER was overpowered by NOMA S in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
JAKE THE JIGGLER slimly won victory over CURVED DERVISH in a 5 minute bloody duel.
YAO MING was narrowly defeated by SCHWEDERSKE in a 7 minute bloody match.
JOE BANANAS handily defeated HOMELAND SECURITY in a 1 minute uneven battle.
ALIISZA overcame ANYTHING ELSE in a 3 minute brutal match.
YEAH overpowered LILAC ROSE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SEABLOOM was luckily beaten by GRIM JIM in a exciting 6 minute brutal fight.
THUGGER JAX was bested by VIKING VAMPIRE in a 2 minute battle.
VOLDAWROTH was luckily beaten by BALDR in a 4 minute bloody battle.
LARRY handily defeated BOLA in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided fight.
JUMPING JOE lost to SKULGARR THE CRUEL in a popular 2 minute gory amateur's bout.
DRONE A13 won victory over OHGUS in a 1 minute brutal amateur's duel.
EDMOND FITZDEED was devastated by QUEEN LATIFAH in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
DARKWATCH demolished KELLY GAINES in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BARAK beat NEW WORLD ORDER in a 2 minute beginner's fight.
JEB! handily defeated HJORVARDR in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
BEER HALL GIRL was outlasted by SLUSH PUPPY in a tiring 13 minute novice's struggle.
PARADIGM was beaten by CHALUPA BATMAN in a 3 minute amateur's struggle.
VARYSS won victory over SRIRACHA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute novice's duel.
VARS FOLLEY easily killed DA2 in a 1 minute mismatched duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  51         TOTAL PARRY      120 -  88 -  2      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 49         WALL OF STEEL     90 -  69 -  3      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     32         STRIKING ATTACK  170 - 169 - 12      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                      31         LUNGING ATTACK   173 - 198 - 16      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 26         AIMED BLOW        99 - 116 -  4      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   23         PARRY-LUNGE       28 -  34 -  1      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  21         SLASHING ATTACK   86 - 128 -  6      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                   10         PARRY-RIPOSTE     33 -  51 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     9         BASHING ATTACK    77 - 127 -  7      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         PARRY-STRIKE      23 -  45 -  0      34  |

Turn 368 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY       21 - 11     BASHING ATTACK    10 - 11         2  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL     13 - 10     STRIKING ATTACK   23 - 26         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     AIMED BLOW        14 - 17         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  5     LUNGING ATTACK    22 - 29         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              SLASHING ATTACK   11 - 15         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  6         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  JACK O'LANTERN 2762         9   5  0  154 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
WALL OF STEEL    SCORPION KING 4718         12   4  0  148 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
STRIKING ATTACK  DOOM SLINGER 6335          17   6  1  137 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
TOTAL PARRY      DOG ON THE LOOSE 7756      16  12  1  129 BASH BROS PARK (766)
LUNGING ATTACK   TEENS SUCKING FACE 8040    13   4  1  128 BASH BROS PARK (766)
PARRY-LUNGE      ELEPHANT 7127              13   8  2  104 TOKEN ENTRY (725)
AIMED BLOW       RELAX 8706                  8   3  0   98 80'S DISCO (810)
BASHING ATTACK   ORESTES 8391               10   9  1   85 WHITE SHADOW (779)
PARRY-STRIKE     ONE TIME! 8396             12   6  0   64 BAD BEATS (791)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    DRONE A11 8599              4   2  0   40 TOLBINS HIVE A (785)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JINX 7951.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
HAWKINS 8949.  The ten other most popular fighters were RELAX 8706, MARLBORO MAN 
8145, CRYSTAL BALL 8257, AGENT 99 8694, DESPERO 8848, LACKEY 8760, QUICK SAND 8419, 
APEX PREDATOR 8651, SEABLOOM 8527, and BROKEN POND 8105.

The least popular fighter this week was SNOWPUNCH 8981.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FRIED MICE 8995, BEL AIR 8788, EMO 8854, SLUSH PUPPY 9023, GOOD OL'BOY 
8993, SHEENA 8474, BEER HALL GIRL 9016, BLANSKI 8604, DRAWING DEAD 9026, and GHOST 
PEPPER 8722.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

WARGRATH (47-8735) KAOS! (811)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

TOBIAS FUNKE (47-7941) SECOND BANANAS (573)
LION (47-8020) LAND OF OZ (217)