DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/13/2017    Duedate: 02/09/2017

TROCAR ARENA

DM-54    TURN-340

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CLEANING TIME
BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
(54-3200) [12-9-0,96]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CLEANING TIME                  POSITION IS EMPTY
BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)       
(54-3200) [12-9-0,96]          

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CLEANING TIME                  DEMON MONKEY
BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)       GOT BLOOD? (345)
(54-3200) [12-9-0,96]          (54-3249) [2-0-0,16]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

TREES (340)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ASKEWNIVERSE (349)          55
2. TREES (340)                 30      TREES (340)
3. KILLER B'S (348)            15      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)     8
5. USELESS TOOLS (219)          0      ASKEWNIVERSE (349)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*ASKEWNIVERSE (349)         4   1  0 80.0   1- 1 USELESS TOOLS (219)       7  3 1
 2/ 1*GOT BLOOD? (345)           3   1  0 75.0   2/ 2 TREES (340)               7  3 0
 3- 2 USELESS TOOLS (219)      277 127 13 68.6   3/ 5 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)  7  7 0
 4- 3*HIT UNIT (346)             4   2  2 66.7   4- 3 SPARF! (310)              5  4 0
 5- 4 SPARF! (310)             149  95  7 61.1   5/ 0*ASKEWNIVERSE (349)        4  1 0
 6/ 5 TREES (340)               32  27  2 54.2   6/ 6*GOT BLOOD? (345)          3  1 0
 7/ 6 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)  48  59  1 44.9   7- 4*HIT UNIT (346)            2  1 2
 8/ 7*KILLER B'S (348)           2   8  0 20.0   8/ 7*KILLER B'S (348)          2  8 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     Good people of the Trocar Arena, I ask you for your indulgence for but a few 
moments.  I, Sin Zoo, would like to introduce you to your greatest future thrill.  I 
beg you to save your hard earned money so that you can buy your admission into this 
great arena every month to witness the evolution of gladiatorial mastery.  You will, 
one day, be able to tell your grandchildren that you were an eyewitness to the early 
days of these future legends of the sands.
     Gone, are the days of this old arena's "Tools of Uselessness"!  You say, "Yahoo 
Wahoo" ... I say, "Yahoo Wa Who?"  Amp will be powerless and Diaper will dissolve.  
And having these unsatisfying fighters from Sparf to watch makes me want to barf!  
Dingo will be done, Livermore ... nevermore, and Pamela will twitch as she lies on her 
back in the sands.
     And how long is too long for you good people to endure the sight of Lord Assur's 
waste room?  That stable is a Stinky, Holed Bedpan that is in a dire need of Cleaning.  
Too long have these fighters Fogged your vision from good contests upon these sands.
     "What of the sturdy Trees", you ask?  The mighty Oak has already been trimmed 
once and soon the Ash will burn and the Yew bend.... Then there is the Hit Unit who 
will be struck down.  Blood Hammer, Amanda and Topp Dogg ... they aren't worthy of the 
bottoms of your boots.  And as for Got Blood ... we will see if they do and how long 
it takes the PeasantKisser and Impish Chimp to bleed out.
     You good people deserve more!  So much more!
     My warriors spent their time in the sands last month feigning battle in order to 
size up this arena's sorry excuse for warriors, but that time is over and we were not 
impressed.  So without further adieu, I present to you, the future juggernauts of the 
Trocar Arena ... the Killer B's!
     First, we have the mighty Convincian warrior from the Andorian League, Barry.  
Don't let his blond hair and blue eyes fool you.  For underneath his gentle nature 
burns a mighty fire of rage when stoked, and the kindling was ignited last month by 
one of Lord Assur's degenerates.
     Then we have the petite Kannari beauty with skin like the smoothest milk 
chocolate, Beatrice.  Make no mistake... she is a green-eyed savage who seeks revenge 
for being cut to the bone last month.  Beware, Got Blood, for you won't for long.
     My last three warriors come to you from across the Trier Sea and are Ratani from 
Mazgourrah.  The exotic beauty Brenda is an olive-skinned and golden-eyed tigress, who 
held her fury against the so called kingslayer.  I have removed her leash and denied 
her comforts while sharpening her claws, so let her next opponent beware.
     Bobby held his hatchet from the trees of Fir, only to build his levels of 
aggression.  There will be no such yielding from this point forward.
     And lastly is my warrior, Billy, who after a single blow to the mighty Oak, and 
calmed only after being claimed the winner by the ArenaMaster.
     Mark my words, good people of the Trocar Arena, the coming months will not be the 
ones to miss here on these sands.  The Killer B's have arrived and all others will run 
for cover....
     .... I, Sin Zoo, guarantee it!

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Say good-bye 
to USELESS TOOLS, as they are pushed from the coveted top team spot by the TREES 
stable.  ASKEWNIVERSE seems to have it's eye on the top team spot, and if they 
continue having 4-1-0 weeks they may get it!  Hey everybody, watch out for ASH, who 
flew up 16 points in the rankings after mashing STINKY like a melon.  Keep your eye 
on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  STINKY was 
bested by ASH and drops 13 points.  Well, if ya don't shows up at the laundromat, ya 
can'ts wash yer clothes.  YAHOO WAHOO did not fight this week so its title was 
forfeit.  It's a proud day for the BASH BROS BATHROOM stable, as their warrior, 
CLEANING TIME, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  Advice to bashers--never force 
anything, just get a bigger halberd!   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the TROCAR arena.  Did you 
hear that USELESS TOOLS was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal 
hygiene of USELESS TOOLS' warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not be funny, 
but catch TREES' act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running 
from USELESS TOOLS.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of KINGSLAYER, who was 
this week's most challenged warrior.  In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, 
BILLY went after ELM, who was higher by 19 points.  Well, when the dust settled, 
BILLY was bested by ELM.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Ask not the elves for counsel, 
for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  And remember, you can pick your 
friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The 
Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLEANING TIME 3200           12   9  0    96       BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-YAHOO WAHOO 2733             28  11  0   146       USELESS TOOLS (219)
-DISSOLVABLE DIAPER 3063      16   4  0    91       USELESS TOOLS (219)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ULURU DINGO 3153              6   1  1    85       SPARF! (310)
 ASH 3205                     10   2  0    78       TREES (340)
 STINKY 3116                  12  13  1    71       BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOGGED UP MIRROR 3231         5   2  0    64       BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
-LIVERMORE 2948               14   6  0    63       SPARF! (310)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PAMELA TWITCH 2950           12   7  0    55       SPARF! (310)
 LEAKY TOILET 3112             9  16  0    53       BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
-POWERLESS AMP 3230            4   0  0    49       USELESS TOOLS (219)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KRAZY KANGAROO 3217           5   2  0    32       SPARF! (310)
 YEW 3209                      5   7  0    30       TREES (340)
-TOP DOGG 3252                 2   0  1    28       HIT UNIT (346)
 ELM 3206                      6   6  0    27       TREES (340)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FIR 3251                      3   0  1    21       TREES (340)
-AMANDA 3253                   2   0  1    19       HIT UNIT (346)
 DEMON MONKEY 3249             2   0  0    16       GOT BLOOD? (345)
 SILENT BOB 3273               1   0  0    16       ASKEWNIVERSE (349)
 OUT OF TP 3258                2   0  0    14       BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
 JAY 3275                      1   0  0    13       ASKEWNIVERSE (349)
 ALYSSA JONES 3272             1   0  0    13       ASKEWNIVERSE (349)
 BOBBY 3266                    1   1  0    12       KILLER B'S (348)
 DANTE HICKS 3274              1   0  0    12       ASKEWNIVERSE (349)
 OAK 3250                      1   2  0    11       TREES (340)
-PPP 3237                      2   1  0     7       SPARF! (310)
 BILLY 3265                    1   1  0     7       KILLER B'S (348)
 KINGSLAYER 3248               1   1  0     4       GOT BLOOD? (345)
 BARRY 3267                    0   2  0     2       KILLER B'S (348)
 BEATRICE 3269                 0   2  0     2       KILLER B'S (348)
 BRENDA 3268                   0   2  0     2       KILLER B'S (348)
-BLOOD HAMMER 3259             0   1  0     1       HIT UNIT (346)
 RANDALL GRAVES 3271           0   1  0     1       ASKEWNIVERSE (349)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
WAR HAMMER 3254         0  1 0 HIT UNIT 346         FIR 3251              337   
WHIFFLE 3257            1  1 0 USELESS TOOLS 219    TOP DOGG 3252         338   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BILLY was bested by ELM in a 3 minute amateur vs. expert Challenge fight.
BRENDA was subdued by OUT OF TP in a popular 1 minute novice's Challenge melee.
BEATRICE was bested by FIR in a 1 minute novice's Challenge contest.
BARRY was savagely defeated by DEMON MONKEY in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge match.
BOBBY narrowly defeated KINGSLAYER in a 5 minute novice's Challenge struggle.
CLEANING TIME handily defeated WARRIOR-MAGE in a 1 minute uneven Title fight.
STINKY lost to ASH in a 2 minute duel.
LEAKY TOILET viciously subdued YEW in a popular 2 minute gruesome duel.
FOGGED UP MIRROR vanquished LAKE PATROL in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.
OAK handily defeated RANDALL GRAVES in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ALYSSA JONES demolished TROCARAN DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SILENT BOB overcame MAGE'S APPRENTICE in a 2 minute novice's contest.
DANTE HICKS demolished TROLLBAIT in a unpopular 5 minute one-sided brawl.
JAY handily defeated TROLLBAIT in a 1 minute uneven fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         SLASHING ATTACK    2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         TOTAL PARRY       26 -   5 -  0      84  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   3 -  2      80  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         AIMED BLOW        15 -   5 -  1      75  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK    18 -  11 -  1      62  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   5 -  0      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-LUNGE        9 -  12 -  1      43  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL      7 -  11 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  16 -  0      16  |

Turn 340 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  2         4  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      CLEANING TIME 3200         12   9  0   96 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
TOTAL PARRY      ASH 3205                   10   2  0   78 TREES (340)
BASHING ATTACK   FOGGED UP MIRROR 3231       5   2  0   64 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CLEANING TIME 3200.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was DEMON MONKEY 3249.  The ten other most popular fighters were KINGSLAYER 
3248, LEAKY TOILET 3112, ELM 3206, STINKY 3116, BILLY 3265, OUT OF TP 3258, FOGGED UP 
MIRROR 3231, SILENT BOB 3273, FIR 3251, and CLEANING TIME 3200.

The least popular fighter this week was DANTE HICKS 3274.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were RANDALL GRAVES 3271, BOBBY 3266, BEATRICE 3269, BRENDA 3268, 
ALYSSA JONES 3272, OAK 3250, YEW 3209, BARRY 3267, JAY 3275, and ASH 3205.

                                CHALLENGES AND AVOIDS

To clarify:  You issue Challenges to warriors, but Avoid teams.  
To Challenge, write that warrior's name and ID# in the space provided. 
To Avoid, write the team's name and Team ID in that space. 
Make sure you include the ID!

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission.