DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 02/14/2018 Duedate: 02/27/2018 DAL SHANG ARENA DM-65 TURN-668 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS WHIR LI SAND DANCERS (233) (65-7608) [25-12-2,159] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader WHIR LI GO CART MOZART SAND DANCERS (233) BY THE LIGHT (776) (65-7608) [25-12-2,159] (65-7637) [3-2-2,41] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite WHIR LI LIRI TYL AI SAND DANCERS (233) SAND DANCERS (233) (65-7608) [25-12-2,159] (65-7515) [16-37-0,97] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM SAND DANCERS (233) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. BY THE LIGHT (776) 22 2. SAND DANCERS (233) 0 THAT SMELL (760) 3. THAT SMELL (760) -4 Unchartered Team BY THE LIGHT (776) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1 THAT SMELL (760) 84 42 4 66.7 1/ 1 SAND DANCERS (233) 11 4 1 2/ 2*BY THE LIGHT (776) 6 4 2 60.0 2/ 2 THAT SMELL (760) 4 3 0 3/ 3 SAND DANCERS (233) %1504 %1596 46 48.5 3/ 3*BY THE LIGHT (776) 3 3 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. I like my popcorn popped, buttered, and tasty, with no tough hulls. You came with too many tough hulls, Popcorn, so I had to shuck you out of them. But it was a good fight. Whir Li SPY REPORT It is I, Novgorodny Vir, Spymaster of Spymasters. Look on my work, ye mighty, and despair! BY THE LIGHT had cause to celebrate, after BLINDED got 12 points by beating BUMBLEFINGER. Win some, lose some. Speaking of which, BLINDED was winsome, after beating BUMBLEFINGER and seeing him lose 10 points. Those who hoped for a new Duelmaster were disappointed by POPCORN, of THAT SMELL, who despite a 13-6-0 couldn't overcome DAL SHANG's Number 1. So who's the team that's been walking into taverns last week and ordering milk? Sounds like a PR stunt to me. So much to report, so little time! Ah, the duel! The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd! Questions are being raised about the disposing of severed body parts in the arena. A certain tavern in DAL SHANG would I avoid! Leave me now, you base fools! More important duties call me. Like a mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid DAL SHANG farewell-- Novgorodny Vir DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WHIR LI 7608 25 12 2 159 SAND DANCERS (233) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME LIRI TYL AI 7515 16 37 0 97 SAND DANCERS (233) KURR LI 7607 19 18 1 96 SAND DANCERS (233) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME POPCORN 7488 13 6 0 85 THAT SMELL (760) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -SHRAAAMP 7573 8 3 0 56 THAT SMELL (760) -MIASMA 7405 2 0 0 49 THAT SMELL (760) GO CART MOZART 7637 3 2 2 41 BY THE LIGHT (776) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BLINDED 7638 3 2 0 28 BY THE LIGHT (776) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME LEAPIN LIZARD 7654 2 1 0 17 SAND DANCERS (233) BUMBLEFINGER 7655 1 1 0 5 SAND DANCERS (233) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? CITRUS 7446 21 6 0 THAT SMELL 760 WHIR LI 7608 666 PERSONAL ADS Two wins over standbys, this is good. -- Liri tyl Ai Blinded -- Ah, but I didn't need to see you, because you were stumbling around and I heard you fine. -- Leapin Lizard And a third win over a standby. I like that for a good beginning. -- Bumblefinger LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS WHIR LI devastated POPCORN in a 1 minute mismatched Title fight. LIRI TYL AI won victory over SWEET ANELLA in a exciting 4 minute gory expert's battle. KURR LI vanquished MASTER OF THE EDGE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl. LEAPIN LIZARD was overpowered by GO CART MOZART in a 1 minute one-sided fight. BLINDED vanquished BUMBLEFINGER in a 1 minute brutal mismatched fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |AIMED BLOW 3 LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 0 - 0 100 | |BASHING ATTACK 2 TOTAL PARRY 16 - 6 - 0 73 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 AIMED BLOW 12 - 7 - 1 63 | |STRIKING ATTACK 1 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 2 - 1 50 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 BASHING ATTACK 15 - 16 - 1 48 | |PARRY-LUNGE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 7 - 0 30 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | |LUNGING ATTACK 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | |SLASHING ATTACK 0 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 0 - 0 0 | |WALL OF STEEL 0 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 668 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 3 AIMED BLOW STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 BASHING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 2 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 0 2 TOTAL PARRY BASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE TOTAL PARRY 0 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK WALL OF STEEL 0 - 0 1 STRIKING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME AIMED BLOW WHIR LI 7608 25 12 2 159 SAND DANCERS (233) BASHING ATTACK KURR LI 7607 19 18 1 96 SAND DANCERS (233) TOTAL PARRY POPCORN 7488 13 6 0 85 THAT SMELL (760) STRIKING ATTACK GO CART MOZART 7637 3 2 2 41 BY THE LIGHT (776) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is WHIR LI 7608. The most popular warrior this turn was LIRI TYL AI 7515. The ten other most popular fighters were GO CART MOZART 7637, WHIR LI 7608, BLINDED 7638, KURR LI 7607, LEAPIN LIZARD 7654, POPCORN 7488, BUMBLEFINGER 7655, 0, 0, and 0. The least popular fighter this week was BUMBLEFINGER 7655. The other ten least popular fighters were POPCORN 7488, LEAPIN LIZARD 7654, KURR LI 7607, BLINDED 7638, WHIR LI 7608, GO CART MOZART 7637, LIRI TYL AI 7515, 0, 0, and 0. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: WHIR LI (65-7608) SAND DANCERS (233) Mission to the Twisted Lands Episode One Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant, Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding. It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below. They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot springs in it. Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So, an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme, which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet, though. They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster. Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well- lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those bozos." As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some with swords and some with halberds. "Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly. "Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old Brown's butt. "Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered. "So have you," the guard continued. "Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt. "Who are you guys?" "We are the Queen's Guard." "What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find the ***holes that shot him." "Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the assailants." "Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate. Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat Langerman. And you are?" "Keel Woodhaven." "I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you." "That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street." They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made weren't too noticeable. Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though. Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies... personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses, even. There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh. Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?" "Yup." "Well, I don't think they're here anymore." Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm. The young man hissed, "Everybody down!" The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes. A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts, but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether. Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged, there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down. There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against the wall. "Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword. "Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword. "I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?" They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other. "What did they want?" asked the Corporal. Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..." He listened. "Your guys are coming back." "Yeah." The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty well. The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair, looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat. "Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence." "Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly handsome Guardsmen. Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse." "Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you." "Why?" "Glowing sword." "What?" "Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured we could sell it so we followed you." The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow. And cut things." The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic." "Ain't. Sorry kid." After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart belonged to another, always and forever. * * * * * This is a continuing adventure. Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!