DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/20/2014    Duedate: 04/16/2014

DRAGONHEAD ARENA

DM-72    TURN-274

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

KID FUNKY FRIED
DEADLY RAGE (158)
(72-3950) [8-1-0,96]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

RUTABAGA                       POSITION IS EMPTY
VEGGIES II (721)               
(72-6482) [12-1-0,118]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FREELOADER                     HOPALONG CASSIDY
BASH BROS FRIEND (753)         COWBOY CROONERS (981)
(72-6654) [22-11-2,81]         (72-7839) [4-9-0,33]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BASH BROS GOLFER (968)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CEREAL (651)                46
2. BASH BROS DRESSER (945)     43      VEGGIES II (721)
3. BASH BROS CABLE (736)       42      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS SHEETS (980)      37
5. BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)     28      BASH BROS NEWS (951)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*BB INFOMERCIAL (969)      11   0  1  100   1- 1*BB INFOMERCIAL (969)      7  0 0
 2/ 4*BASH BROS NEWS (951)       6   0  0  100   2/ 2*BASH BROS GOLFER (968)    7  1 1
 3/13*BASH BROS BUS (821)        4   0  0  100   3/ 5 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)        7  8 1
 4/ 9*BASH BROS WINTER (797)     4   0  0  100   4/ 9*BASH BROS DRESSER (945)   6  2 0
 5- 7*BASH BROS MLM (973)        3   0  0  100   5/13*BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)  5  1 0
 6-10*BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)   3   0  0  100   6/21*BASH BROS SHEETS (980)    5  3 0
 7-11*BASH BROS VALENTIN (882)   2   0  0  100   7/22*BASH BROS CABLE (736)     5  3 0
 8/14*BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)    2   0  0  100   8/ 4*BASH BROS NEWS (951)      4  0 0
 9/15*BASH BROS SPRING (799)     2   0  0  100   9/19*BASH BROS BUS (821)       4  0 0
10/16*BASH BROS TRAIN (803)      2   0  0  100  10/ 7 BASH BROS TIRES (796)     4  5 0
11/ 0 VEGGIES II (721)          12   1  0 92.3  11/ 3 DEADLY RAGE (158)         4  5 0
12/ 3*BASH BROS GOLFER (968)    11   1  2 91.7  12-11*BASH BROS MLM (973)       3  0 0
13/ 2*BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)  11   1  0 91.7  13-14*BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)  3  0 0
14/20*BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)    9   1  1 90.0  14/16*BASH BROS TREES (871)     3  1 0
15/18*BASH BROS TREES (871)     10   2  0 83.3  15/34*BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)   3  1 0
16/22*BASH BROS CABLE (736)     19   5  0 79.2  16/37*CEREAL (651)              3  4 0
17/ 5*BASH BROS DRESSER (945)    6   2  0 75.0  17/25 COWBOY CROONERS (981)     3  6 1
18/37*BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)    3   1  0 75.0  18-20*BASH BROS FENCE (784)     2  0 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19 BASH BROS CRICKET (727)   17   6  2 73.9  19-17*BASH BROS VALENTIN (882)  2  0 0
20/23 MILK IS GOOD (650)        22   8  0 73.3  20/28*BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)   2  0 0
21/17 BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)   14   6  0 70.0  21/30*BASH BROS WINTER (797)    2  0 0
22-30 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)    45  20  1 69.2  22/31*BASH BROS SPRING (799)    2  0 0
23/21*CEREAL (651)               8   4  0 66.7  23/33*BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)   2  0 0
24-31*BASH BROS FENCE (784)      2   1  1 66.7  24/32*BASH BROS TRAIN (803)     2  0 0
25/28 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)    28  15  2 65.1  25/15 BASH BROS CRICKET (727)   2  5 0
26-33 MORE VODKA (694)           9   5  1 64.3  26/24 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)    2  5 0
27/32*BASH BROS SHEETS (980)     5   3  0 62.5  27/ 0 VEGGIES II (721)          1  0 0
28/35 DEADLY RAGE (158)        146  99  9 59.6  28-38 BASH BROS LAWYER (730)    1  1 0
29-36*BASH BROS FIREPLAC (934)   7   5  0 58.3  29-35*BASH BROS NURSE (774)     1  1 0
30/34 BASH BROS TIRES (796)     15  12  0 55.6  30/36 MILK IS GOOD (650)        1  5 0
31-38*BASH BROS NURSE (774)      1   1  0 50.0  31/29 BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)   1  5 0
32/39 MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)       150 167  6 47.3  32-41*BASH BROS FIREPLAC (934)  0  1 0
33/40 COWBOY CROONERS (981)     13  31  2 29.5  33- 0*BASH BROS GARDENER (975)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 372): IMERTA LOEL of MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 369): EYE BAGS of BASH BROS BODY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 367): MALICE of ASSASSINATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 322): MALICE of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 344): LAPUR BISQUE of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit, mgr)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 339): WITCHCRAZE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 325): KINGU of MESOPOTAMIA (Var, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 319): ABU JR. of THE CHOSEN ONES (The Chosen One, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 304): DESERT PEARL of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 297): JOHNNY APPLESEED of TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 273): MUSHROOM of PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 273): FREELOADER of BASH BROS FRIEND (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 274): WON TON NOT NOW of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 89): CORNELIUS of NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetras, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 271): BALLIOL BLACKMOON of DRAGONBANE GUILD (Nomad, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 372): WEIRD ALCHEMY (La Guillotine, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 369): LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 367): THE STORM REAVESRS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 322): DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 344): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 339): LAND OF OZ (Oz the All-Managing, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 325): MESOPOTAMIA (Var, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 319): WHERE AM I? (Var, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 304): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 297): ELDER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 273): OUTER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 273): BB INFOMERICAL (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 274): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 89): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 271): REAL BEER et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 371): ZORK of Z GLADIATORS (The Z-Man, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 369): KOROSHIYA ICHI of LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 366): NABUCA of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! (La Guillotine, mgr.)
                               STEEL DRAGON of THE CANNUCKS (?, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 342): THE STATISTITIAN of AVID FANS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 339): PETIT JARDINIA of LES TURFISTES (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                               NORM of CHEERS (Otis, mgr.)
                   (turn 338): YORL of LES TURFISTES (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                               DR. COX of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 324): QUALITY of LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 318): HU YAN ZHUO of WAH CHING (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 89): CORNELIUS of NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetras, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Convicted Assassin came back for more and I showed him once again that I don't
like him.
     As expected, the commission is holding me back from graduation.  I have the PPs!
I have the wins!  What is a few skills between friends?

-- Freeloader

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, DRAGONHEAD?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Later days, BB INFOMERCIAL, since BASH 
BROS GOLFER took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  If The Warty 
Toad is buying drinks for BASH BROS SHEETS' good turn, I'm afraid the place will be 
dry before long.  A 3-2-0 makes for a big thirst.  With any luck, I can sneak into 
The Warty Toad and join BASH BROS CABLE's celebration over their good record this 
turn.  7th place, not bad.  If The Warty Toad is buying drinks for BB DRIVER 
LICENSE's good turn, I'm afraid the place will be dry before long.  A 2-0-0 makes for 
a big thirst.  With any luck, I can sneak into The Warty Toad and join CEREAL's 
celebration over their good record this turn.  16th place, not bad.  Now let's all 
watch BASH BROS GOLFER's heads swell from their 3-1-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big 
shots, big talk, big deal.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see PPV win a 
fight and gain 21 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, KUNG-FU MASTER beat MIDDLE OF THE 
NIGHT and MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT lost 14 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  And it's 
out with the old, in with the new, as KID FUNKY FRIED takes the Title and last week's 
bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but 
why am I telling you this?  You want to know what's new, don't you, DRAGONHEAD?   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
DEADLY RAGE, I suppose you'll be glad to know you were this turn's most avoided team. 
Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And who led the way in this mass act of 
cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was BASH BROS FRIEND.  Ha ha ha ha!  
KID FUNKY FRIED was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was the 
DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  And sending 1% to the Dark Arena was 
supposed to be one of your better ideas, MILK IS GOOD?  Now hey, I like to see a 
death as much as the next guy, but hey BASH BROS FRIEND, whyja send STEALS GIRLFRIEND 
to the Dark Arena, look at his record, huh?  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only 
shines through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     There's got to be a better place in DRAGONHEAD to get a drink than The Warty 
Toad!  Any suggestions?  Just wait 'till next time I show up here, I won't be so 
nice!  So nyaaah!  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KID FUNKY FRIED 3950          8   1  0    96       DEADLY RAGE (158)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RUTABAGA 6482                12   1  0   118       VEGGIES II (721)
-LEPER MESSIAH 3954           10   3  1   109       DEADLY RAGE (158)
 WHOLE 5895                   15   3  0    94       MILK IS GOOD (650)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREELOADER 6654              22  11  2    81       BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
-FILING FEE 6539              15   4  0    76       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 8 AM CLASS 6621               7   0  0    76       BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)
 WHEATIES 5900                 7   0  0    76       CEREAL (651)
 MORE LEAVES 7260              5   1  0    71       BASH BROS TREES (871)
 RUPERT SAMS 7602              9  11  1    68       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PPV 6569                      6   1  0    65       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 6527      8   2  2    64       BASH BROS CRICKET (727)
 FLAT 6880                     9   3  0    63       BASH BROS TIRES (796)
-ILL NINO 4974                 8   5  0    63       DEADLY RAGE (158)
 VARDON WEISS 6813            12  21  0    57       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CRAWL SPACE 6525              9   1  0    55       BASH BROS CRICKET (727)
 TRASH 6840                    4   0  0    54       BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
-PAY PER SECOND 6542          13   8  0    53       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 BOOK LOST 6666                9   1  0    49       BASH BROS LIBRARY (755)
-MAJOR TOM 6333                8   3  1    49       MORE VODKA (694)
 REPETITIVE 7684               4   0  0    47       BASH BROS NEWS (951)
 OVERGROWN 7263                5   1  0    43       BASH BROS TREES (871)
 POOR SIGNAL STRENGTH 6570     6   1  0    40       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 POTTY BREAK 6838              4   0  0    40       BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
 DERAILED 6912                 2   0  0    40       BASH BROS TRAIN (803)
 CAN'T CLOSE MOUTH 7772        3   0  0    35       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
 ICE 6882                      4   0  0    34       BASH BROS WINTER (797)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GENE AUTRY 7838               5   8  2    33       COWBOY CROONERS (981)
 HOPALONG CASSIDY 7839         4   9  0    33       COWBOY CROONERS (981)
-FIVE MINUTE SPECIAL 7779      3   0  0    33       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)
-CLOGGED CHIMNEY 7589          4   1  0    32       BASH BROS FIREPLACE (934)
-FAKE SALE PRICE 7775          3   0  0    32       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)
 RAIN 6893                     2   0  0    28       BASH BROS SPRING (799)
 KNOWWHENTOFOLDEM 7084         2   0  0    28       BASH BROS LAUNDRY (837)
 KNOWITALLAMATEUR 7770         3   0  1    27       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
 BLAME THE CLUB 7774           3   0  1    27       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
-HOMEWORK 6620                 2   1  1    27       BASH BROS COLLEGE (746)
 REPLACING 7818                2   0  0    27       BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)
 OVERFLOWING 7655              2   0  0    27       BASH BROS DRESSER (945)
-REPAIR 6819                   2   1  1    26       BASH BROS FENCE (784)
-SENSATIONALIZED 7683          2   0  0    26       BASH BROS NEWS (951)
 WRINKLED 7830                 2   0  0    26       BASH BROS SHEETS (980)
 MOTHS 7654                    2   0  0    26       BASH BROS DRESSER (945)
 LATE 7002                     2   0  0    25       BASH BROS BUS (821)
 MR RIGHT HANDED 6876          6   6  0    24       BASH BROS TIRES (796)
 PURVIS QUAIL 7835             5   9  0    24       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
-NOT AS ADVERTISED 7776        3   0  0    24       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TWO FOR ONE 7777              2   0  1    23       BB INFOMERCIAL (969)
-CLEANING 7588                 2   0  0    23       BASH BROS FIREPLACE (934)
 IN THE WASHER 7833            1   1  0    23       BASH BROS SHEETS (980)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREE TRIAL 6573               5   1  0    21       BASH BROS CABLE (736)
 ZILLA YANCY 8156              2   0  1    21       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)
 RUDE DRIVER 7001              2   0  0    21       BASH BROS BUS (821)
-EXPENSIVE DINNER 7317         1   0  0    21       BASH BROS VALENTINE (882)
-DISCOVERY TOYS 7798           1   0  0    20       BASH BROS MLM (973)
 ROY ROGERS 7836               3  10  0    19       COWBOY CROONERS (981)
 STUCK DRAWER 7657             2   0  0    19       BASH BROS DRESSER (945)
 CAUGHT WITHOUT IT 7817        1   1  0    19       BB DRIVER LICENSE (977)
 SHOPPING CART 6836            3   1  0    18       BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
-BUYING INNOCENCE 6543         2   2  0    18       BASH BROS LAWYER (730)
 UNDONE 7834                   2   0  0    17       BASH BROS SHEETS (980)
-AMWAY 7795                    1   0  0    16       BASH BROS MLM (973)
-WIDE TURN 6902                1   0  0    13       BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)
-MERGING 6903                  1   0  0    13       BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)
-BLOCKING EVERYTHING 6901      1   0  0    13       BASH BROS TRUCKERS (801)
 CORN FLAKES 5903              1   1  0    12       CEREAL (651)
-HERBALIFE 7796                1   0  0    11       BASH BROS MLM (973)
-NONE 7314                     1   0  0     9       BASH BROS VALENTINE (882)
-TOO GOOD 6762                 1   0  0     8       BASH BROS NURSE (774)
 BEYOND SLOW 7771              2   1  0     7       BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
-TITANIUM 6059                 0   1  0     7       DEADLY RAGE (158)
-MIA 7252                      0   1  0     7       BASH BROS NURSE (774)
-AGENT ORANGE 7499             0   1  0     7       MORE VODKA (694)
-FIRE WON'T START 7590         1   3  0     6       BASH BROS FIREPLACE (934)
 TOM UNDERWOOD 8148            0   3  0     3       MIDDLE WAY 9 (706)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CANCELLATION FEE 6571   1  1 0 BASH BROS CABLE 736  SPYMASTER             274  NONE
SERVICE OUTTAE 6572     1  1 0 BASH BROS CABLE 736  DARK CHAMPION         274  NONE
DEAD IN BATHROOM 6524   0  1 0 BASH BROS CRICKE 727 ARENAMASTER           274  NONE
MATING SEASON 6526      0  1 0 BASH BROS CRICKE 727 BLACK ORC             274  NONE
SCARES THE KIDS 6528    0  1 0 BASH BROS CRICKE 727 BANDIT PRINCE         274  NONE
BROKEN DRAWER 7656      0  1 0 BASH BROS DRESSE 945 BANDIT PRINCE         274  NONE
OFF TRACK 7653          0  1 0 BASH BROS DRESSE 945 BANDIT PRINCE         274  NONE
HIGH MAINTENANCE 6658   0  1 0 BASH BROS FRIEND 753 DARK CHAMPION         274  NONE
RAIDS MY FRIDGE 6656    0  1 0 BASH BROS FRIEND 753 BANDIT PRINCE         274  NONE
SPREADS RUMORS 7247     0  1 0 BASH BROS FRIEND 753 BANDIT PRINCE         274  NONE
STEALS GIRLFRIEN 6655   2  1 0 BASH BROS FRIEND 753 SPYMASTER             274  NONE
PULLS YOUR PLANT 7808   0  1 0 BASH BROS GARDEN 975 ZILLA YANCY 8156      273   
CAN'T CHECK OUT 6667    0  1 0 BASH BROS LIBRAR 755 SHEWISH GIANT         274  NONE
CHECKED OUT 6668        1  1 0 BASH BROS LIBRAR 755 SPYMASTER             274  NONE
INACCURATE CATAL 6665   0  1 0 BASH BROS LIBRAR 755 MOUNTAIN TROLL        274  NONE
OVERDUE CHARGES 7493    0  1 0 BASH BROS LIBRAR 755 STONE GOLEM           274  NONE
COLD 7832               0  1 0 BASH BROS SHEETS 980 SPYMASTER             274  NONE
STINKY 7831             0  1 0 BASH BROS SHEETS 980 BLACK ORC             274  NONE
DISPOSAL FEE 6877       0  1 0 BASH BROS TIRES 796  SPYMASTER             274  NONE
NAILS 6879              0  1 0 BASH BROS TIRES 796  ARENAMASTER           274  NONE
SLOW LEAK 6878          0  1 0 BASH BROS TIRES 796  SPYMASTER             274  NONE
CHEERIOS 5901           0  1 0 CEREAL 651           SHEWISH GIANT         274  NONE
FROSTED FLAKES 5902     0  1 0 CEREAL 651           MOUNTAIN TROLL        274  NONE
GRAPE NUTS 5899         0  1 0 CEREAL 651           DARK CHAMPION         274  NONE
NOT THIS TIME 8157      0  1 0 DEADLY RAGE 158      WURM KIN              274  NONE
TEENA ULRIK 7241        9 17 0 MIDDLE WAY 9 706     LAWN DART CATCHI 6308 271   
WALTER VERISE 8149      0  1 0 MIDDLE WAY 9 706     REPAIR 6819           272   
1% 5898                 5  1 0 MILK IS GOOD 650     ARENAMASTER           274  NONE
2% 5896                 2  2 0 MILK IS GOOD 650     WURM KIN              274  NONE
POWDERED 5894           0  1 0 MILK IS GOOD 650     WURM KIN              274  NONE
SKIM 5897               0  1 0 MILK IS GOOD 650     DARK CHAMPION         274  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Var -- Two-two sure felt like 1-3 on my end.  Guess it is because the fights I wanted
to win I did not. -- Assur

Leper Messiah -- Now I know why people stay away from lepers. -- Whole

Kid Funky Fried -- Don't you know?  Lungers are supposed to fold in the face of scum.
-- Crawl Space

Rupert Sams -- You look like you lost quite a bit of sleep... -- Middle of the Night

Ill Nino -- I'm not afraid of you!  I am the breakfast of champions. -- Wheaties

Vardon Weiss -- You must have stolen our broadcast. -- PPV

Hopalong Cassidy -- Wait until you see the bill! -- Pay Per Second

Gene Autry -- You'd think cables wouldn't have signal strength issues, but they can!
-- Poor Signal Strength

Roy Rogers -- On ice, again. -- Ice

Purvis Quail -- Don't tell anyone, but you really don't have to call within 5
minutes.  Let it be our little secret. -- 5 Minute Special

Titanium -- If I can't grow through you, I'll just grow around. -- Overgrown

Tom Underwood -- What do you want?  We can provide it! -- Herbalife

Some of those NPCs aren't very nice... -- Assur

Good gods!  There are Bash Brothers all OVER the place!  Mama Bash must have had them
in litters.

Looks like two-three-one for us, and WE did not get ONE SINGLE (or double) STANDBY!
Unfair! -- Rupert Sams, for those of us who stagger along the Middle Way

Middle of the Night -- One night, maybe, but not TWO.  We know how to handle crickets
here. -- Rupert Sams

Ppv -- I thought you were some kind of pipe.  The pipe-cutter worked on you, anyway.
-- Vardon Weiss

Five Minute Special -- Shouldn't that fight have lasted longer than ONE minute? --
Purvis Quail

Herbalife -- I don't believe in that stuff! -- Tom Underwood

Pulls Your Plants -- Well, I did.  Nobody said that was your lifeline as well.
Sorry. -- Zilla Yancy

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

1% was viciously butchered by ARENAMASTER in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
STEALS GIRLFRIEND was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
2% was assassinated by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
CHECKED OUT was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
CANCELLATION FEE was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
SERVICE OUTTAE was viciously butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 4 minute brawl.
DISPOSAL FEE was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
NAILS was executed by ARENAMASTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory Dark Arena brawl.
OFF TRACK was viciously butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena melee.
SPREADS RUMORS was slaughtered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
COLD was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
OVERDUE CHARGES was savagely slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
STINKY was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena bout.
SCARES THE KIDS was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
MATING SEASON was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 2 minute Dark Arena contest.
RAIDS MY FRIDGE was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DEAD IN BATHROOM was executed by ARENAMASTER in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena conflict.
BROKEN DRAWER was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
FROSTED FLAKES was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
CHEERIOS was barely slain by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute Dark Arena bout.
CAN'T CHECK OUT was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
GRAPE NUTS was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
NOT THIS TIME was murdered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena bout.
SKIM was executed by DARK CHAMPION in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena match.
POWDERED was easily killed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
INACCURATE CATALOG was killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
HIGH MAINTENANCE was slaughtered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena match.
SLOW LEAK was easily killed by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
FREELOADER was overcome by KID FUNKY FRIED in a 1 minute veteran's Title contest.
WHOLE outlasted VETERAN MERCENARY in a exciting 7 minute duel.
RUTABAGA overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute gory one-sided duel.
MORE LEAVES was subdued by KUNG-FU MASTER in a exciting 4 minute melee.
FLAT was vanquished by VENEMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT was handily defeated by KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute bout.
RUPERT SAMS viciously subdued BOOK LOST in a 2 minute gory bout.
VARDON WEISS was overpowered by PPV in a 1 minute uneven duel.
WHEATIES outlasted VETERAN MERCENARY in a exciting 7 minute match.
8 AM CLASS defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 2 minute brutal fight.
CRAWL SPACE outlasted HOPALONG CASSIDY in a action packed 7 minute bout.
TRASH demolished THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute uneven contest.
REPETITIVE savagely defeated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute brutal struggle.
CAN'T CLOSE MOUTH demolished CULT MEMBER in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.
POTTY BREAK overcame FRATSFA SLAVE in a 4 minute novice's fight.
ICE demolished ROY ROGERS in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
DERAILED vanquished PURVIS QUAIL in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
POOR SIGNAL STRENGTH vanquished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
OVERGROWN demolished CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute uneven competition.
SHOPPING CART was savagely defeated by GENE AUTRY in a 3 minute fight.
KNOWWHENTOFOLDEM demolished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute bloody uneven conflict.
FREE TRIAL outlasted OSKSI NOBLE in a tiresome 10 minute brawl.
LATE viciously subdued OSKSI NOBLE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal melee.
IN THE WASHER overpowered OSKSI NOBLE in a popular 1 minute one-sided fight.
BLAME THE CLUB vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
RAIN handily defeated CULT MEMBER in a 2 minute gruesome mismatched bout.
MR RIGHT HANDED subdued MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute master vs. novice match.
BEYOND SLOW was savagely defeated by ZILLA YANCY in a 7 minute novice's fight.
KNOWITALLAMATEUR slimly won victory over EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 3 minute match.
STUCK DRAWER demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
CAUGHT WITHOUT IT overpowered PERSISTANT BEGGAR in a 2 minute one-sided brawl.
REPLACING demolished EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
WRINKLED overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute uneven bout.
OVERFLOWING devastated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MOTHS devastated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
RUDE DRIVER overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
UNDONE unbelievably bested MORDANT DESERTER in a exciting 4 minute amateur's match.
CORN FLAKES overpowered TOM UNDERWOOD in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  21         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -   3 -  0      75  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         TOTAL PARRY       16 -   8 -  1      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         PARRY-LUNGE       24 -  12 -  0      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         STRIKING ATTACK   45 -  30 -  2      60  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         LUNGING ATTACK    41 -  28 -  3      59  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         AIMED BLOW        30 -  22 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  14 -  1      56  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    32 -  27 -  0      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  14 -  1      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   7 -  0      42  |

Turn 274 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK    10 -  3     AIMED BLOW         4 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     5 - 16         2  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  5         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  2                                       2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   KID FUNKY FRIED 3950        8   1  0   96 DEADLY RAGE (158)
STRIKING ATTACK  RUTABAGA 6482              12   1  0  118 VEGGIES II (721)
TOTAL PARRY      WHOLE 5895                 15   3  0   94 MILK IS GOOD (650)
BASHING ATTACK   FREELOADER 6654            22  11  2   81 BASH BROS FRIEND (753)
AIMED BLOW       PPV 6569                    6   1  0   65 BASH BROS CABLE (736)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    POTTY BREAK 6838            4   0  0   40 BASH BROS ROADSIDE (788)
PARRY-LUNGE      CAN'T CLOSE MOUTH 7772      3   0  0   35 BASH BROS GOLFER (968)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FREELOADER 6654.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HOPALONG CASSIDY 7839.  The ten other most popular fighters were GENE AUTRY 7838, 
ZILLA YANCY 8156, MORE LEAVES 7260, LATE 7002, RUPERT SAMS 7602, 8 AM CLASS 6621, 
RUTABAGA 6482, POTTY BREAK 6838, IN THE WASHER 7833, and RAIN 6893.

The least popular fighter this week was FREE TRIAL 6573.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were BEYOND SLOW 7771, TOM UNDERWOOD 8148, PURVIS QUAIL 7835, ROY ROGERS 
7836, CRAWL SPACE 6525, VARDON WEISS 6813, MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 6527, FLAT 6880, WHOLE 
5895, and SLOW LEAK 6878.

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors 
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. 

                         WILLOW (14-4754) ZOMBIE SQUAD (478) 
                      SERPENTITO (36-7542) SERPENTS HOLD (629) 
                     THE SHINING (82-1279) FAILED MUSICALS (222) 
                     BESS (82-35303) SUPERIOR FORCES 4502 (5816) 
                        JABBER HOGAN (82-49966) LAZY 9 (8398) 
                       LAZY CRIMINAL (84-18259) KAOSTIC (1429) 
                         HIDDEN GERBIL (84-19254) TMI (3416) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes