DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 02/15/2018 Duedate: 02/28/2018 DAYLA KIV ARENA DM-74 TURN-629 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS ROLLY PUPPY DOG PALS (552) (74-4656) [11-3-2,107] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader ROLLY ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID PUPPY DOG PALS (552) FAVORITE SAYINGS (539) (74-4656) [11-3-2,107] (74-4479) [1-0-1,33] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite PELDAN DJIAN BINGO SAND DANCERS (251) PUPPY DOG PALS (552) (74-4579) [22-29-0,95] (74-4653) [8-4-1,72] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM PUPPY DOG PALS (552) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. PUPPY DOG PALS (552) 43 2. FAVORITE SAYINGS (539) 33 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) 3. SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) 22 Unchartered Team 4. SAND DANCERS (251) 4 5. BASH BROS MAILMAN (521) 0 SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1*SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) 6 0 0 100 1/ 1 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) 13 2 1 2/ 2 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) 40 15 5 72.7 2/ 3*SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) 6 0 0 3- 3 THE FUNKENSTEINS (538) 55 39 4 58.5 3/ 2 SAND DANCERS (251) 5 10 1 4/ 4 SAND DANCERS (251) %1434 %1574 49 47.7 4/ 6*FAVORITE SAYINGS (539) 2 5 1 5/ 5*FAVORITE SAYINGS (539) 3 6 1 33.3 5- 5*BASH BROS MAILMAN (521) 1 1 0 6- 6*BASH BROS MAILMAN (521) 2 4 0 33.3 6- 4 THE FUNKENSTEINS (538) 1 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank SPY REPORT Good day, in DAYLA KIV a quiet thief gets rich, but a quiet spymaster gets poor. So bring me ale and harken to my tidbits of news. The SPROUT OF MY WAY! guild has had a 3-0-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the future. You never know where this kind of thing can lead. And let's see, BINGO fought KOMAR THE PENNILESS and gained 15 points and contributed to PUPPY DOG PALS' 5-0-1. Defending his title for another turn, ROLLY kept SAND DANCERS' warrior, PELDAN DJIAN, from claiming the throne. Can someone confirm a rumor for me? I hear the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at The Crystal Wheel until they win. Maybe? I tell you, a green quarterstaff lasts longer than a seasoned sapling. A basher friend of mine assures me this is true. I also notice that the BASH BROS MAILMAN stable was the most avoided team this turn. Come on DAYLA KIV, what are you afraid of? And avoiding BASH BROS MAILMAN more than any other team we find PUPPY DOG PALS. DAYLA KIV, are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing? Well, sports fans, take notice that PELDAN DJIAN from SAND DANCERS was DAYLA KIV's most challenged warrior this turn. A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once. Wise men know this to be true. The grave that FAVORITE SAYINGS had dug for ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID may yet be filled with the body of TALL SHARO-SKA. Seldom are the likes of this to be seen. ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID lives still! Is it really true that DAYLA KIV has more dishwashers per capita that fighters? Just thought I'd ask... Thought for the day, a new sword shines bright, but the notched sword sings the sweetest. It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep your swords sharp and your hammers heavy. Until you see my quill in DAYLA KIV again, farewell-- Alarond the Scribe DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ROLLY 4656 11 3 2 107 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PELDAN DJIAN 4579 22 29 0 95 SAND DANCERS (251) -REGINALD FUNKENSTEIN 4461 10 3 0 91 THE FUNKENSTEINS (538) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BINGO 4653 8 4 1 72 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BOB 4660 6 1 1 56 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) HISSY 4657 11 4 0 53 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID 4479 1 0 1 33 FAVORITE SAYINGS (539) -COPA WHAT 4594 5 0 0 31 THE FUNKENSTEINS (538) -OFF DAY 4313 2 4 0 27 BASH BROS MAILMAN (521) DET. NODDY 4673 2 0 0 27 SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) A.R.F. 4665 4 3 1 26 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) MAYA THE BEE 4684 2 0 0 26 SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) LILY 4677 2 0 0 24 SPROUT OF MY WAY! (555) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PUSSYWILLOW 4698 2 2 1 9 SAND DANCERS (251) LIGHTNING 4699 2 2 0 8 SAND DANCERS (251) BARTRAN KLEE 4704 0 1 0 1 SAND DANCERS (251) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? TALL SHARO-SKA 0 0 0 DARK ARENA ALWAYS A BRIDESM 4479 629 NONE COLD TURKEY 4480 0 1 0 FAVORITE SAYINGS 539 CHANNA THE DANCE 629 NONE NEVER A BRIDE 4481 2 3 0 FAVORITE SAYINGS 539 BOB 4660 629 PERSONAL ADS Rolly -- A fight well won. -- Tiogan Crow Two wins over standbys. Good. -- Ardia Li Never a Bride -- Not mine, at least. -- Pussywillow Maya the Bee -- I'm allergic! -- Lightning LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID viciously butchered TALL SHARO-SKA in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight. COLD TURKEY was slaughtered by CHANNA THE DANCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle. ROLLY handily defeated PELDAN DJIAN in a 1 minute one-sided Title match. TIOGAN CROW was vanquished by KOMAR THE PENNILESS in a 1 minute mismatched brawl. BINGO savagely defeated KOMAR THE PENNILESS in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody match. BOB slaughtered NEVER A BRIDE in a 1 minute mismatched fight. HISSY beat DANGEROUS BON LOKAR in a 2 minute brawl. A.R.F. overcame LIGHTNING in a 1 minute gruesome fight. DET. NODDY vanquished PUSSYWILLOW in a 1 minute uneven duel. LILY vanquished TURO JAGUARCLAW in a 1 minute uneven fight. MAYA THE BEE vanquished BARTRAN KLEE in a 1 minute one-sided fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 6 SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 0 - 0 100 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 20 - 5 - 2 80 | |AIMED BLOW 3 LUNGING ATTACK 16 - 4 - 2 80 | |PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-LUNGE 11 - 6 - 0 65 | |STRIKING ATTACK 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 1 - 0 50 | |BASHING ATTACK 1 AIMED BLOW 6 - 6 - 2 50 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 BASHING ATTACK 6 - 7 - 0 46 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 16 - 0 41 | |SLASHING ATTACK 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 2 - 0 0 | |WALL OF STEEL 0 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 1 - 0 0 | Turn 629 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 0 AIMED BLOW 1 - 2 4 LUNGING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 5 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 1 STRIKING ATTACK SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 SLASHING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY BASHING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 BASHING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 0 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME PARRY-RIPOSTE ROLLY 4656 11 3 2 107 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) LUNGING ATTACK BOB 4660 6 1 1 56 PUPPY DOG PALS (552) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is PELDAN DJIAN 4579. The most popular warrior this turn was BINGO 4653. The ten other most popular fighters were ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID 4479, BOB 4660, A.R.F. 4665, ROLLY 4656, HISSY 4657, MAYA THE BEE 4684, DET. NODDY 4673, LILY 4677, COLD TURKEY 4480, and PELDAN DJIAN 4579. The least popular fighter this week was BARTRAN KLEE 4704. The other ten least popular fighters were PUSSYWILLOW 4698, LIGHTNING 4699, NEVER A BRIDE 4481, PELDAN DJIAN 4579, COLD TURKEY 4480, LILY 4677, DET. NODDY 4673, MAYA THE BEE 4684, HISSY 4657, and ROLLY 4656. The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: TIOGAN CROW (74-4580) SAND DANCERS (251) Mission to the Twisted Lands Episode One Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant, Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding. It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below. They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot springs in it. Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So, an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme, which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet, though. They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster. Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well- lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those bozos." As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some with swords and some with halberds. "Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly. "Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old Brown's butt. "Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered. "So have you," the guard continued. "Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt. "Who are you guys?" "We are the Queen's Guard." "What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find the ***holes that shot him." "Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the assailants." "Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate. Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat Langerman. And you are?" "Keel Woodhaven." "I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you." "That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street." They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made weren't too noticeable. Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though. Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies... personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses, even. There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh. Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?" "Yup." "Well, I don't think they're here anymore." Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm. The young man hissed, "Everybody down!" The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes. A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts, but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether. Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged, there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down. There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against the wall. "Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword. "Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword. "I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?" They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other. "What did they want?" asked the Corporal. Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..." He listened. "Your guys are coming back." "Yeah." The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty well. The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair, looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat. "Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence." "Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly handsome Guardsmen. Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse." "Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you." "Why?" "Glowing sword." "What?" "Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured we could sell it so we followed you." The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow. And cut things." The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic." "Ain't. Sorry kid." After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart belonged to another, always and forever. * * * * * This is a continuing adventure. Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!