DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/16/2016    Duedate: 03/29/2016

SHADOWSPIRE ARENA

DM-81    TURN-240

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

PEEKING DUCK
OTTO'S DINER (96)
(81-2363) [20-10-1,119]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

PEEKING DUCK                   ALPACA SWEATER
OTTO'S DINER (96)              FROM THE LEFT (166)
(81-2363) [20-10-1,119]        (81-2585) [5-2-0,55]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MORDECAI MOUSE                 SUICIDE SEED
FURRY FURY (25)                THE MONSANTIS (112)
(81-2152) [18-21-0,85]         (81-1402) [15-15-2,100]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

FURRY FURY (25)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CULT OF BACCHUS (4)         54
2. OTTO'S DINER (96)           40      SHANGHAIED (161)
3. THE COMMODORES (150)        40      Unchartered Team
4. WICKED MARTYRS (148)        39
5. SHANGHAIED (161)            30      FROM THE LEFT (166)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 SHANGHAIED (161)          49  36  1 57.6   1/ 2 FURRY FURY (25)          10  5 0
 2/ 1 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)      444 343 14 56.4   2/12 SOME KINDA HATE (102)     9  3 0
 3/ 3 SOME KINDA HATE (102)    201 163 16 55.2   3/ 1 MONSTER MANUAL (87)       9  6 1
 4/ 4 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)    639 546 18 53.9   4/15 THE COMMODORES (150)      9  6 1
 5/ 5 DARQUE AGES (29)         513 445 19 53.5   5/10 PRAY THE GODS (155)       9  6 1
 6/ 6 WICKED MARTYRS (148)     159 140  9 53.2   6/ 4 INEBRIATION (27)          8  7 2
 7/ 7 WARMASTERS (15)          604 561 45 51.8   7/ 5 OTTO'S DINER (96)         8  7 0
 8/ 9 NBA LEGENDS (156)         62  58  7 51.7   8/ 8 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)     7  7 1
 9/ 8 OTTO'S DINER (96)        454 425 23 51.6   9/16 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)    7  8 1
10/10 FURRY FURY (25)          406 404 21 50.1  10/14 WAR MACHINE (26)          7  8 1
11/11*FROM THE LEFT (166)       17  18  1 48.6  11/ 6 WICKED MARTYRS (148)      7  8 0
12/12 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)   212 227  9 48.3  12/17 NBA LEGENDS (156)         7  8 0
13/13 THE MONSANTIS (112)       86  99  5 46.5  13/18 SHANGHAIED (161)          7  8 0
14/15 THE COMMODORES (150)     118 136  5 46.5  14/21 CULT OF BACCHUS (4)       6  8 0
15/14 PRAY THE GODS (155)       66  78  4 45.8  15/13*PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)     6  9 1
16/16 MONSTER MANUAL (87)      412 495 17 45.4  16/ 3 DARQUE AGES (29)          6  9 1
17/18 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)   307 399 22 43.5  17- 9 SEARCH THE SKY (136)      5  5 1
18-19 SEARCH THE SKY (136)     143 195  7 42.3  18/ 7 THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)    5 10 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 DOOM BRIGADE (158)        34  56  2 37.8  19/20 DOOM BRIGADE (158)        4  6 1
20/21 WAR MACHINE (26)         125 211 18 37.2  20/11 THE MONSANTIS (112)       4  6 0
21/17*PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)     11  19  2 36.7  21/19*FROM THE LEFT (166)       4  6 0
22/22 INEBRIATION (27)          95 167  9 36.3  22/22 WARMASTERS (15)           3  2 0
23/23 SCORPIO LIKES: (163)      13  37  2 26.0  23/23 SCORPIO LIKES: (163)      1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

The intelligence department at Allied Axis headquarters has intercepted last turn's 
spy report before it was edited and posted.  Turns out that Darque gets the 
information from the Commission and then creates a report, sends it in, and the editor 
has to work overtime to get it ready to be printed.  We decided the good people of 
Shadowspire should see the report in its original format, which is printed below.

                                     * * * * * * 

Welcome, Shadowspire, to another edition of the MSNBC Spy Report for our fine arena.  
As usual in this typical mass-media styled report we only report on the items that fit 
our personal narrative.  I don't want you to form your own opinions, I want you to 
have mine, everyone must agree with me for I struggle with acceptance issues.  But, I 
really like chocolate pudding.  The best part of chocolate pudding is getting a big 
jug of it and burying both of my hands into it at the same time, then I rub them all 
over my face and spin in circles trying to lick it all off.  But it just doesn't seem 
to work very well, I would think that the more I spin the easier my tongue would catch 
the pudding.  Problem is, when I spin really fast it sprays off my face, and that is 
very frustrating and I have to start the entire process all over again.  Man that 
really makes me mad, almost as mad as I get when Den challenges warriors that have 
less points, or less fights, or less strength, or less armor, or less ability, or less 
skills, or less promise.  You see, I hate Den and you need to hate him as well.  There 
were other challenges this turn, but I don't care and I won't talk about them, I just 
want to make sure you hate Den and the Allied Axis because I hate them.  And, since I 
am the MSNBC of spyreporters I will only focus on my opinions.  Did you know that Den 
downchallenged someone 3 turns ago?  He also made a 1 point downchallenge just 7 turns 
ago, that dirty bugger!  One thing for sure, I am not going to mention at all that I 
have been engaged in down challenges against the Allied Axis, even though they were 
unprovoked against Crambus.  Nope, not going to mention that at all, instead I will 
focus on them.  There is nothing to see here, keep walking, don't look at me doing the 
exact same thing I am denigrating them for.  Sure, you may think that makes me a sad 
and ignorant hypocrite, but that is why I get to write what I want, and I want you 
guys to hate the Allied Axis.

Yes, I know that you believe Zontani Sharp Eyes gives better information, and is fair 
and balanced, but I use a lot more prepositions!  That is what matters, you know.  I 
understand that many of you don't even bother reading my reports any longer and my 
ratings have plummeted because I seem to make stuff up as I go and manipulate the 
facts so that you hate the Allied Axis, and especially that Den guy.  I don't like 
those guys by the way, did you know that?  You shouldn't like them either, and since I 
am a simple person I will use this soapbox to spread my message of hate and 
intolerance.

They say anyone could do a better job than me, since I just regurgitate what I am fed, 
and then mix in some AA hating comments, but I am special so I get to write this stuff 
instead of you guys.  Oh, and don't forget about those sexy prepositions I add!  Not 
to brag, but I am probably the best as inserting prepositions, well that and trying to 
get everyone to hate the AA and especially that Den guy.  Man, I really hate those 
guys.  Until next week, remember that you should hate the AA for doing the same stuff 
I do, but be sure to hate them for it and love me for it.  Pathetic?  No way!  I'm 
special, just ask me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just another public service message brought to you by the good people at Allied Axis 
headquarters.  Now you know the rest of the story.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Welcome to Shadowspire, Alastari's first and fairest non-tourney arena!  We thank 
you for being with us this week.  The weather is changing, but still a bit 
temperamental at this stage.  I love the arena sands for this very reason.  Hot or 
cold, wet or dry, calm day or Chaos Gate opening, the arena sands are ready for our 
fine warriors to compete upon them.  Without further delay, let's take a look at this 
turn's action. 
     We were due a new Duelmaster this turn.  The trend lately has seen the reigning 
Duelmaster receiving an invite to the Isle of the Eye.  This is a fine trend since it 
means immortality for another Shadowspirian warrior.  OMFUG took the throne last turn 
and promptly received the aforementioned invite.  At the end of last cycle, the only 
question we had to ask was who would step forward and take the throne.  Would OMFUG 
lose to some upstart?  Would he win and leave the throne to the warrior with the 
highest recognition?  Luckily, we have our answer!  And the trend continues as Peeking 
Duck takes over the big chair!  Peeking also got his invite this turn, so the throne 
will be up for grabs once again next turn.  Peeking Duck took the throne via 
recognition points as OMFUG lost to Naga of Monster Manual, who was also on his way to 
the Isle as a Lord Protector.
     The most avoided team this turn is Inebriation, and rather humorously, we see 
Cult of Bacchus avoiding them the most.  Shouldn't a cult dedicated a deity of wine 
and intoxication be running to and from inebriation?  Oh well, perhaps this is an off 
week where the whole guild has sworn off the fire water.  Lyon Bear from The 
Commodores was the most challenged warrior.  He appears to have lots of admirers (or 
enemies) at the top of the ranks.  
     Congrats to the newest grads!  The top has been clearing out rather quickly with 
3 invites last turn and 3 new ones this turn.  Farewell to OMFUG of Some Kinda Hate, 
Naga of Monster Manual, and Shamino of The Commodores, who fought their last battle in 
Shadowspire this turn.  Good luck on the Isle!  We also want to congratulate Peeking 
Duck of Otto's Diner, Bailey of Wicked Martyrs, and Simo Haya of Some Kinda Hate, who 
received their invites this turn.  They will fight their last battles in Shadowspire 
next turn.
     We had a total of 10 deaths this cycle.  The Dark Arena personnel got a hearty 
workout this time.  There were 7 Dark Arena fights, which leaves 3 arena deaths.  
Surprisingly, Death came for the experienced this turn.  First, Jed Sawyer of War 
Machine bloodfeuded Penumbra of Doom Brigade.  Jed Sawyer, who had 3 kills going into 
the fight, put another notch upon his weapon hilt as Penumbra falls.  Next, we have 
another bloodfeud death.  Ill Wind of Dragonbane Guild challenged Wyld Turkey of 
Inebriation to avenge his fallen comrade.  Ill Wind lived up to his name as Wyld 
Turkey executed him in a 1 minute bout.  Last, we saw Hateful Desire of Big Lake 
Outcasts challenge up 19 points to Mind Flayer of Monster Manual.  The audience did 
not even have a chance to take their seats as Hateful Desire put down Mind Flayer in a 
1 minute fight.
     Next turn will certainly bring us another Duelmaster, but what else is in store 
for you faithful Shadowspirians?  Come back and find out!  It is promised to be an 
exciting turn with tons of competition.  Best of luck to all of you!  On behalf of the 
Gladiatorial Commission and the Yellow Press, I bid you adieu. -- Phineas Rannulf 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PEEKING DUCK 2363            20  10  1   119       OTTO'S DINER (96)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE EMPRESS WU 2164          22  12  0   107       DARQUE AGES (29)
 BAILEY 2387                  17  10  1   105       WICKED MARTYRS (148)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KAREEM 2382                  12  12  0   104       NBA LEGENDS (156)
 RINGO DEATHSTAR 2310         22  14  1   101       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 SUICIDE SEED 1402            15  15  2   100       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 SIMO HAYHA 2261              21  21  1    97       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 LYON BEAR 2412               14   9  0    95       THE COMMODORES (150)
 LISHCHKA 2322                16  14  1    93       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 KITTY TANTRUM 2241           16  14  0    92       FURRY FURY (25)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ALCESTE 2355                 18  12  0    90       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 PIXIE 2378                   14  14  1    89       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 CREDITS 2280                 22  20  1    87       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 GRIZZLY REMAINS 2459         13   8  0    86       FURRY FURY (25)
 MORDECAI MOUSE 2152          18  21  0    85       FURRY FURY (25)
 BARBAROSSA 2098              21  20  0    84       DARQUE AGES (29)
 SAILOR JEFFRY 2338           16  18  2    83       INEBRIATION (27)
 TOMOE GOZEN 2207             16  13  0    81       DARQUE AGES (29)
 GARCHOMP 2470                12   8  0    81       FURRY FURY (25)
 PHO C 2444                   12  10  2    79       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 BYRUHO 2455                  11  10  3    72       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 WHITE LIGHTNING 2486         11   7  1    69       INEBRIATION (27)
 JED SAWYER 2474               9  10  4    68       WAR MACHINE (26)
 BRUTAL GRUNGE 2390           15  11  0    67       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLUE DRAGON 2332             15  21  0    66       MONSTER MANUAL (87)
 HATEFUL DESIRE 2457          14   7  2    66       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 WILT THE STILT 2383          13  11  2    66       NBA LEGENDS (156)
 THE PAPERBOY 2465            10   8  0    66       THE COMMODORES (150)
 ZATHOG 2399                  12  13  1    65       SOME KINDA HATE (102)
 LARRY BIRD 2384              12  12  1    65       NBA LEGENDS (156)
 HEATWAVE 2542                 7   6  1    65       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 HOLLOWSOUL 2414              11  12  2    61       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 RYK THE DRAGON 2371          13  16  0    59       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 BARATUS 2515                  8   5  2    59       WARMASTERS (15)
-ECLIPSE 2565                  8   1  0    58       SEARCH THE SKY (136)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WYLD TURKEY 2505              7   9  2    56       INEBRIATION (27)
 DOCTOR J 2385                12  12  0    55       NBA LEGENDS (156)
 ALPACA SWEATER 2585           5   2  0    55       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 BLOODY MARIA 2536             7   7  0    53       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 SUPERWEED 1675                6   7  0    51       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 EAT-SLEEP-REPEAT 2603         3   3  1    51       PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)
 PLAN COLUMBIA 1612            9   7  1    50       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 BROOSS 1287                   9  23  0    50       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 TU DU 1652                   10   4  2    48       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 PHEARE 2433                   7  11  0    47       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
 KROW 2504                     9   6  0    46       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 STORMCLAW 2569                5   5  1    45       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 CHUCKIE EGG 2631              2   1  1    45       THE COMMODORES (150)
 MORGUHN 2524                  7   8  1    42       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 BEER GUT 2490                12   5  0    41       INEBRIATION (27)
 BEAST WITHIN 2601             3   3  1    40       PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)
 FOUR-EYED FLOYD 2503          9   8  0    35       SHANGHAIED (161)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HAKEEM 2521                   5   8  3    33       NBA LEGENDS (156)
 RAVENSTRIKE 2604              4   1  0    33       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
 BLACKJACK JOHNSON 2595        5   2  0    32       SHANGHAIED (161)
 ANNISTON 2570                 5   3  0    31       THE MONSANTIS (112)
 TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578          6   3  0    30       SHANGHAIED (161)
 SCHENDLE 2596                 3   0  1    30       PRAY THE GODS (155)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LUNARIS 2572                  5   3  1    28       WARMASTERS (15)
 WARWULF 2580                  6   1  0    26       CULT OF BACCHUS (4)
 PLUG-IN CAR 2588              5   2  0    25       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 AL ROPER 2612                 4   1  0    24       WAR MACHINE (26)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CURD BURGLAR 2598             4   2  0    23       OTTO'S DINER (96)
 TRAJAN 2566                   4   4  0    23       WARMASTERS (15)
-VOID BREAKER 2628             2   1  1    22       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 OCTAVIAN 2607                 3   1  1    21       WARMASTERS (15)
 SOCIAL JUSTICE 2626           2   1  0    21       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 PYRAT 2615                    1   4  0    20       INEBRIATION (27)
 CAJUN SEAFOOD 2526            4   6  1    19       SCORPIO LIKES: (163)
 LUXLORD BLACK 2608            3   3  0    19       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 ANDROMEDA 2605                2   3  0    19       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
 BRENNER 2638                  1   1  0    19       WICKED MARTYRS (148)
 LONG BLACK HAIR 2528          4   6  0    18       SCORPIO LIKES: (163)
 DRAGON SCARRED 2644           2   0  0    18       DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
 SCAPULA 2571                  4   4  0    16       WARMASTERS (15)
 PROTEST FOR HIRE 2597         1   4  0    16       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 JANNA 2581                    4   2  0    15       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 A SMOKING WOMAN 2562          3   4  1    14       SCORPIO LIKES: (163)
 AGLAIA 2609                   3   3  0    14       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 MOKOSH 2574                   3   4  0    13       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 RABID PAIN 2618               2   3  0    13       BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (19)
 DEZMUND 2561                  2   6  0    12       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 MORANA 2573                   2   5  0    12       PRAY THE GODS (155)
 HUNTER 2599                   2   4  0    10       PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)
 FEAR MONGER 2590              2   4  0    10       FROM THE LEFT (166)
 SWABBIE SAM 2632              2   1  0    10       SHANGHAIED (161)
 LOOKOUT LARRY 2656            1   0  0    10       SHANGHAIED (161)
-RED GLINT 2640                1   0  0    10       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 MONKEY TREE MONK 2652         1   0  0    10       FURRY FURY (25)
 CHERRY DP 2637                1   0  0     8       SCORPIO LIKES: (163)
 SAVAGE 2624                   1   3  0     6       PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)
 TIGERLILY 2614                1   3  0     6       DOOM BRIGADE (158)
 RAHKSAHNAH 2635               1   2  0     5       THE MONGOLOIDS II (30)
 CURTIS TURNER 2643            1   1  0     5       WAR MACHINE (26)
-SYZYGY 2633                   0   2  0     2       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 PREDATOR 2641                 0   2  0     2       PRIMAL INSTINCT (167)
-DARK MATTER 2639              0   1  0     1       SEARCH THE SKY (136)
 MENSK 2655                    0   1  0     1       WAR MACHINE (26)
 FAST HACK 'EM 9 2653          0   1  0     1       THE COMMODORES (150)
 PAPADEAUX 2636                0   1  0     1       SCORPIO LIKES: (163)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
HERMI 2645              0  1 0 CULT OF BACCHUS 4    SHEWISH GIANT         240  NONE
HANDY SERF 2654         0  1 0 DARQUE AGES 29       MOUNTAIN TROLL        240  NONE
REGIOMONTANUS 2594      3  4 1 DARQUE AGES 29       DARK CHAMPION         240  NONE
PENUMBRA 2517           5  8 1 DOOM BRIGADE 158     JED SAWYER 2474       240   
DISCIPLE O CLAW 2489    7  7 0 DRAGONBANE GUILD 13  WYLD TURKEY 2505      238   
ILL WIND 2398          14 11 0 DRAGONBANE GUILD 13  WYLD TURKEY 2505      240   
GLOBAL ALARMIST 2591    2  1 1 FROM THE LEFT 166    FETA COMPLI 2579      236  NONE
MIND FLAYER 2525        7  8 0 MONSTER MANUAL 87    HATEFUL DESIRE 2457   240   
FETA COMPLI 2579        6  2 1 OTTO'S DINER 96      EAT-SLEEP-REPEAT 2603 239  JUST REVENGED
FRYER CRUD 2657         0  1 0 OTTO'S DINER 96      BLACK ORC             240  NONE
YAWNBURGER 2642         0  2 0 OTTO'S DINER 96      SPYMASTER             240  NONE
PREDATOR 2602           2  2 0 PRIMAL INSTINCT 167  VOID BREAKER 2628     238   
DARK CRESCENT 2613      2  1 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   CHUCKIE EGG 2631      238  REVENGED
PHOTOSPASM 2627         1  1 0 SEARCH THE SKY 136   SCHENDLE 2596         238   
NO-TEETH KEITH 2500     8  6 1 SHANGHAIED 161       BYRUHO 2455           237   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
TWO-FINGER TONY 2499    9  7 0 SHANGHAIED 161       BYRUHO 2455           239   
POGO JOE 2583           3  2 0 THE COMMODORES 150   STORMCLAW 2569        239  JUST REVENGED
SLUG FACE 2547          1  7 1 WAR MACHINE 26       LUNARIS 2572          236  NOT REVENGED
SNOD 2629               1  2 0 WAR MACHINE 26       PENUMBRA 2517         239  JUST REVENGED
THE HEAD MASHER 2634    0  3 0 WAR MACHINE 26       WURM KIN              240  NONE
BRAVE BULL 2453        10  9 1 WICKED MARTYRS 148   PIXIE 2378            238   
SAMMY ONE 2651          0  1 0 WICKED MARTYRS 148   BANDIT PRINCE         240  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Back off to the Dark Arena. -- Regiomontanus

The new recruit was trash.  More Dark Arena fights to come. -- Master Darque

Grizzly Remains -- Whoa there, big fella!  My manger's heart sank a little when he saw 
you come onto the sands.  He is short of stature and faith from the looks of it. -- 
Barbarossa

Alceste -- Great fight!  I came out on top, but it was a close one. -- Tomoe Gozen

Jed Sawyer -- We're done, for now.  At least until you get back into range of the 
CC's. -- The Empress Wu

I keep hearing these annoying, buzzing noises every time I skim over the personal ads 
in the newsletter.  I can't place them, but they are insignificant and not worthy of a 
response, like any other fly or gnat. -- Master Darque

To the Paperboy -- My apologies for that challenge.  I don't know how that happened.  
I don't down challenge.  Except, in this case, I did.  I'm not sure it happened.  I 
did write out the challenge.  But I wasn't thinking it was a down-challenge.  How did 
that get messed up?  I have no idea, as normally reading a list of warrior rankings is 
not a challenging task.  But somehow it was messed up.  My apologies.  At least Ill 
Wind lost the fight, as would seem fitting.  You have the honor of a wind against an 
ugly challenge. -- Nomad and the Guild

Paperboy -- It was an impressive fight on your part.  Well done. -- Ill Wind

The Commodores and the ghost of Pogo Joe -- The challenge of Ill Wind was bad enough.  
Killing Pogo Joe on the same turn is almost too much.  But it was on a random matchup, 
so at least I can't be blamed for targeting your team, right?  Perhaps I shall see 
Shamino for the last fight here?  Or maybe the Paperboy challenges?  Whoever it is, I 
await.  Bloodfeuds are an honorable task. -- Stormclaw

For anyone interested, Humdrum has fought his last.  I tried.  But I couldn't handle 
it anymore.  12-12-12-12-12-12-12.  Piker.  Not a blank sheet, but still he was, well, 
humdrum.  Having graduated his like elsewhere, I no longer felt the need to keep up 
the fight here.  He tried. -- Nomad and the Guild

Superweed -- Nothing lucky about that.  As it should be. -- Brutal Grunge

Rahksannah -- Nice name.  Thanks for getting my career off on the right foot. -- 
Dragon Scarred the undefeated (Hey, say it while you can, as it isn't likely to last 
long!)

Den -- Haven't you realized yet, dummy, that I don't really care what you have to say?  
You already have proven yourself to be a coward and a crybaby snitch, so you don't get 
respect from Lord Scorpio & Crew. -- Lord Scorpio *chunking a deuce at the patrons of 
Shadowspire*

Keyoke -- Let's get this sucker of the AA, kick his @ss seabass!! -- Scorpio *knocking 
back a shot of bourbon*

Beer Gut -- You just got beat like a pinata. -- Pheare

War Machine -- What an unfortunate turn of events.  We are sorry for your loss, and 
Penumbra will be expecting a full dance card.  Best of luck. -- Keyoke, mgr. Doom 
Brigade

Anniston -- It looks as if I bit off more than I could chew.  Well fought. -- 
Ravenstrike

Fight or Flight -- omg, Omg, OMG!  I hate you sooo much right now! -- Andromeda

Curtis Turner -- Has the fight started?  Wait, what do you mean it's already over?! 
*still disoriented* -- Tigerlily

BlackHeart -- Glad your guys continue to throw themselves on their opponents' swords 
and hurt your team record enough for me to take Career Top Team! -- DeGotti

Vanek -- Did you let the likes of the AA get to you so much that you had to leave the 
arena?  Or was it the return of GentleBen to Shadowspire that has caused you to run? 
-- DeGotti

Den -- 0 and 5 one turn, sitting atop the career top team the next!  Maybe, one day 
you'll be able to say you made it out of the sub-50% zone! -- DeGotti

Den -- What kind of lame excuse are you going to make this week?  You are my B!+(# in 
this arena.  HAHAHAHA! -- Gentleben, Manager Primal Instinct

Hateful Desire -- Hateful desires can not hold up to the -- Beast Within

Pyrat -- Are you a pie?  Are you a rat?  Are you a pirate?  Are you a rock?  So many 
questions I didn't know how to attack the situation, well played. -- Hunter

Feta Compli -- Can I have another bowl? -- Eat-Sleep-Repeat

Andromeda -- Unbelieveable....THANKS. :-D -- Fight or Flight (aka Savage)

Luxlord Black -- Crowd pleasing but not for me. -- Brutal (aka Predator)

Byruho -- We concede.  Two deaths and nobody left of caliber to bloodfued you. -- 
Shanghaied

Bloody Maria -- That did NOT go as expected.  Next time I'll sacrifice the whole 
chicken before the fight. -- Four-Eyed Floyd

Morguhn -- Not a great match-up for me.  Congrats on getting back to .500. -- Two-Ton 
Timmons

Algaia -- Now that was an interesting fight...with the appropriate end result. -- 
Blackjack Johnson

Morana -- Short sword to the neck?  Did I LOOK like I needed a shave?? -- Swabbie Sam

All -- Be on the Lookout for Larry, our newest member.  I expect great...err, I expect 
things from him. -- BlackHart

All -- I believe I've had 5 deaths in my first 80 fights here.  Have I passed the 
initiation yet? -- BlackHart

OMFUG -- Congrats on the throne. -- BlackHart

Den -- I hear your gums are still flapping.  It's a shame that my team soars even 
while on auto-pilot, while your team is grubbing for change by the outhouses.  Too bad 
there are very few challenges I can make your way to remind you to use a more 
respectful tone with your betters.  It is funny how that level of safety makes you 
puff out your chest.  It won't be long though until I have a few young warriors to cut 
your squad to ribbons with once more. -- Mordraith
P.S. What's with the new kid kicking your teeth in?  Shameful!

Bailey -- A chump like you never had a chance. -- OMFUG

Primal Instinct -- Honor and respect are about as alien to each other as you and not 
spitting when you talk. -- Den

Primal Instinct -- I was once on a sinking ship, taking on water just before getting 
into the pier at Niytyole Island.  I was in line to get into the lifeboat and then a 
woman and child tried to budge in front of me.  I buried my fingers into the woman's 
hair and dragged her to the back of the line.  Upon taking my rightful place as third 
in line again I looked at her child with my most intense stare of anger and told him 
to join his mother in the rear of the line.  I was applauded as I prevented chaos, and 
order is the enemy of chaos, and honor is the brother of order.  I was given many 
nicknames that day, "Den the Honored One", "Honor-filled Den", "Den Third in Line", 
"Den the Corrector of Women", and "Den Hairy Fingers". -- Den

Primal Instinct -- A spouse should only treat their spouse with respect if you are 
talking about the wife.  The man was born with honor, the woman must earn it. -- Den

Primal Instinct -- I have a badge that says "Primal Instinct was not right in birth", 
is that what you are talking about when mentioning birth rights? -- Den

Primal Instinct -- What is up with the knight fixation? -- Den

Primal Instinct -- As I noted to you previously, but I fully understand that those of 
you that try to hide behind your version of honor are not so good at reading and 
understanding, you kill one of my warriors and that death will be avenged.  Call it 
what you will, I don't really care about your respect and care even less for your 
primitive understanding of honor.  You are a jackal, a staggering fool, a whining 
babe, and one of the luckiest managers in Shadowspire.  Continue your caterwauling and 
bring additional shame upon your family. -- Den

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

REGIOMONTANUS was barely slain by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
YAWNBURGER was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
THE HEAD MASHER was murdered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
FRYER CRUD was barely slain by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
HERMI was luckily killed by  SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
SAMMY ONE was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
HANDY SERF was assassinated by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
LYON BEAR devastated STORMCLAW in a 6 minute gruesome one-sided Bloodfeud competition.
PHO C vanquished EAT-SLEEP-REPEAT in a action packed 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud duel.
JED SAWYER savagely slew PENUMBRA in a 2 minute gruesome Bloodfeud duel.
ILL WIND was slain by WYLD TURKEY in a exciting 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
CURTIS TURNER was handily defeated by LUNARIS in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud bout.
BARBAROSSA was demolished by BAILEY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
THE EMPRESS WU luckily beat SUICIDE SEED in a 3 minute master's Challenge match.
SHAMINO viciously subdued KITTY TANTRUM in a 2 minute expert's Challenge fight.
RINGO DEATHSTAR vanquished CREDITS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
ALCESTE bested GARCHOMP in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory Challenge brawl.
WHITE LIGHTNING was beaten by GRIZZLY REMAINS in a exciting 1 minute Challenge match.
LARRY BIRD was overpowered by PIXIE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
ALPACA SWEATER was bested by WILT THE STILT in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
FOUR-EYED FLOYD was savagely defeated by KROW in a 2 minute brutal Challenge duel.
HATEFUL DESIRE executed MIND FLAYER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
HOLLOWSOUL handily defeated BEAST WITHIN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
BARATUS savagely defeated BEER GUT in a popular 6 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
THE PAPERBOY overpowered PHEARE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
BROOSS was savagely defeated by RYK THE DRAGON in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
CHUCKIE EGG won victory over ANNISTON in a popular 1 minute Challenge fray.
BLACKJACK JOHNSON handily defeated MORANA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
HUNTER was beaten by AGLAIA in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
HAKEEM overpowered RABID PAIN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
WARWULF defeated PYRAT in a exciting 3 minute Challenge match.
CURD BURGLAR overpowered MOKOSH in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
TIGERLILY was overpowered by SOCIAL JUSTICE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
SWABBIE SAM bested RAHKSAHNAH in a crowd pleasing 3 minute novice's Challenge duel.
PREDATOR was demolished by LUXLORD BLACK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
ANDROMEDA defeated FEAR MONGER in a exciting 1 minute Challenge match.
RAVENSTRIKE handily defeated PROTEST FOR HIRE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
DRAGON SCARRED luckily beat DEZMUND in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge bout.
OMFUG was overpowered by NAGA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided competition.
SIMO HAYHA won victory over TOMOE GOZEN in a 1 minute veteran's match.
SAILOR JEFFRY was demolished by KAREEM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven duel.
BYRUHO was demolished by LISHCHKA in a 1 minute uneven conflict.
PEEKING DUCK overcame KUNG-FU MASTER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Title fight.
MORDECAI MOUSE narrowly defeated HEATWAVE in a 3 minute uneven competition.
BRUTAL GRUNGE beat BLOODY MARIA in a exciting 4 minute gory fight.
DOCTOR J was viciously subdued by ZATHOG in a action packed 3 minute veteran's bout.
BLUE DRAGON overcame SUPERWEED in a 2 minute one-sided duel.
TU DU demolished OCTAVIAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided conflict.
MORGUHN was subdued by PLAN COLUMBIA in a 3 minute fight.
TWO-TON TIMMONS outlasted SCAPULA in a unpopular 12 minute conflict.
TRAJAN handily defeated A SMOKING WOMAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
LONG BLACK HAIR was demolished by BRENNER in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
CAJUN SEAFOOD was overpowered by SCHENDLE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
JANNA was subdued by AL ROPER in a crowd pleasing 4 minute gory contest.
PLUG-IN CAR overpowered SAVAGE in a 1 minute gory mismatched duel.
MONKEY TREE MONK overpowered PAPADEAUX in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
FAST HACK 'EM 9 was devastated by LOOKOUT LARRY in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CHERRY DP defeated MENSK in a crowd pleasing 2 minute novice's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  24         TOTAL PARRY       50 -  28 -  0      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                      13         PARRY-RIPOSTE     43 -  33 -  2      57  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  13         STRIKING ATTACK   80 -  68 -  5      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         PARRY-LUNGE       29 -  27 -  2      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   10         LUNGING ATTACK   109 - 106 -  7      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     9         AIMED BLOW        59 -  60 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         WALL OF STEEL     48 -  61 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    7         PARRY-STRIKE      37 -  54 -  3      41  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         BASHING ATTACK    39 -  59 -  8      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         SLASHING ATTACK   27 -  41 -  3      40  |

Turn 240 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     AIMED BLOW         5 -  8         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  5         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  5     BASHING ATTACK     3 - 10         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  7         1  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK    13 - 11                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   PEEKING DUCK 2363          20  10  1  119 OTTO'S DINER (96)
TOTAL PARRY      THE EMPRESS WU 2164        22  12  0  107 DARQUE AGES (29)
AIMED BLOW       BAILEY 2387                17  10  1  105 WICKED MARTYRS (148)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    KITTY TANTRUM 2241         16  14  0   92 FURRY FURY (25)
PARRY-LUNGE      ALCESTE 2355               18  12  0   90 SOME KINDA HATE (102)
SLASHING ATTACK  CREDITS 2280               22  20  1   87 MONSTER MANUAL (87)
STRIKING ATTACK  GRIZZLY REMAINS 2459       13   8  0   86 FURRY FURY (25)
WALL OF STEEL    BRUTAL GRUNGE 2390         15  11  0   67 DRAGONBANE GUILD (13)
PARRY-STRIKE     TU DU 1652                 10   4  2   48 THE MONSANTIS (112)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MORDECAI MOUSE 2152.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was SUICIDE SEED 1402.  The ten other most popular fighters were BARATUS 2515, 
BLOODY MARIA 2536, RAHKSAHNAH 2635, PEEKING DUCK 2363, GARCHOMP 2470, MORDECAI MOUSE 
2152, PYRAT 2615, HEATWAVE 2542, JANNA 2581, and RYK THE DRAGON 2371.

The least popular fighter this week was TWO-TON TIMMONS 2578.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SCAPULA 2571, MOKOSH 2574, FAST HACK 'EM 9 2653, PAPADEAUX 
2636, SAVAGE 2624, CAJUN SEAFOOD 2526, LONG BLACK HAIR 2528, A SMOKING WOMAN 2562, 
BYRUHO 2455, and SAILOR JEFFRY 2338.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

PEEKING DUCK (81-2363) OTTO'S DINER (96)
BAILEY (81-2387) WICKED MARTYRS (148)
SIMO HAYHA (81-2261) SOME KINDA HATE (102)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

NAGA (81-2281) MONSTER MANUAL (87)
SHAMINO (81-2285) THE COMMODORES (150)
OMFUG (81-2341) SOME KINDA HATE (102)

                                CHALLENGES AND AVOIDS

To clarify:  You issue Challenges to warriors, but Avoid teams.  
To Challenge, write that warrior's name and ID# in the space provided. 
To Avoid, write the team's name and Team ID in that space. 
Make sure you include the ID!

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission. 

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors 
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. 

                      PRINCE ALBERT (17-7522) ROYAL PAIN  (610) 
                    THE MAYTAL (35-3644) PHILANTHROPISTS 2  (345) 
                    HOLY SMOKE (82-43560) ROOKIE MAIDEN 29  (7305) 
                  SOFT 'N CHEWY (82-15624) STREET PIZZAD IX  (2347) 
                    SUPPOSABLE THUMBS (82-45792) 10/25/06D  (7689) 
                        COCOA COUP (82-48528) 040707M  (8157) 
                         POOR OLD TOM (82-7154) GWAR  (1021) 
                           RIDIS (82-15371) SANIKUS  (2304) 
                         ELAINA (82-3414) (N.) GODLIKE  (461) 
                 CAUSTIC MACAROON (84-15171) ORLANDO BOUND II  (2675) 
                     SUBATOMIC PASTE (84-27527) 2012 XIV  (4884) 
                       PFC10 (84-3805) MEDAL OF HONOR L7  (741) 
               T TEBOW'S CONCUSSION (84-12163) SUPE FORCES 0905  (2190) 
                     ZELLNER (84-24796) SUPE FORCES 7A00  (4405) 
                  STORM FIRE (84-19028) SUPERIOR FORCES 1601  (3373) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes