DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 02/19/2018    Duedate: 03/03/2018

DWES EG ARENA

DM 82    TURN 477

This Week's Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

LOUSY TIMING
LAZY 12 (8390)
(82-49925) [8-9-1,122]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LOUSY TIMING                   SEMI-SWEET
LAZY 12 (8390)                 030305N (5678)
(82-49925) [8-9-1,122]         (82-36113) [1-2-0,51]

Popularity Leader              This Week's Favorite

VEIL OF DECEPTION              PROM
DRAWN TOGETHER (6991)          FINGERS CROSSED (9400)
(82-56697) [18-13-0,103]       (82-55558) [5-9-0,30]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BROTHERS IN ARMS (1321)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. 030305N (5678)                43 
2. 121707C (8865)                23    STYROFOAM (1041)
3. STYROFOAM (1041)              23    Unchartered Team
4. WORLD BLADES (1662)           21 
5. 040908O (9425)                20    G FORCE 6 (9088)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*G FORCE 6 (9088)           2   0  0 100.   1/ 6 BROTHERS IN ARMS (1321)   4  0 0
 2- 2*WILLING BLADES (1779)      1   0  0 100.   2/14*WORLD BLADES (1662)       4  6 2
 3- 3 WOTB A62 (5862)           14   4  2 77.8   3/ 8 LAZY 12 (8390)            3  0 1
 4/ 0 STYROFOAM (1041)          16   5  0 76.2   4/ 7 LEGAL TERMS (124)         3  0 0
 5/ 0 COOL GAMES (6418)         11   4  0 73.3   5- 2 COLLEGE RADIO 3 (5444)    3  1 1
 6/ 0 PRACTICAL (8976)           7   3  0 70.0   6- 4 INK & STEEL X (7273)      3  1 0
 7/ 7 BROTHERS IN ARMS (1321)   11   5  1 68.8   7/ 3 GWAR (1021)               3  2 1
 8/ 6*HACK2 (9156)               5   3  0 62.5   8/15*G FORCE 6 (9088)          2  0 0
 9/14 MARK'S STUFF II (9441)     8   6  1 57.1   9/17 HARVEST DAY (6987)        2  0 0
10/ 8 AT THE TABLE (8646)        8   6  0 57.1  10/10 SOME GUYS (8727)          2  1 0
11/ 9 SOME GUYS (8727)           8   6  0 57.1  11/ 1 ROMAN DIVINITY (7761)     2  1 0
12/15 ALL-TIMERS (6879)          8   6  0 57.1  12/23*HACK2 (9156)              2  2 0
13-13 INK & STEEL X (7273)      38  30  3 55.9  13/29 DRAWN TOGETHER (6991)     2  2 0
14/ 0 FACE (8975)                7   6  1 53.8  14-12 ORIOLE MADNESS (967)      2  2 0
15/16 GWAR (1021)              187 163 14 53.4  15-13 QUEER AS FOLK (4505)      2  3 0
16/ 0 ERATTA1 (9085)            51  46  3 52.6  16/30 RESTRICTIONS (117)        2  6 1
17-17 ORIOLE MADNESS (967)      65  59  2 52.4  17/ 0 FACE (8975)               1  0 0
18/18 DRAWN TOGETHER (6991)     58  54  2 51.8  18/ 0 ERATTA1 (9085)            1  0 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0 ALLERGY (7866)            46  46  0 50.0  19-16 BIG TEN 3 (6980)          1  0 0
20-19 QUEER AS FOLK (4505)      17  17  1 50.0  20- 5 WOTB A62 (5862)           1  0 0
21/ 0 STANT (8973)               7   7  0 50.0  21-20*WILLING BLADES (1779)     1  0 0
22/ 0 TREES (8983)              10  11  0 47.6  22/24 MARK'S STUFF II (9441)    1  2 0
23/20 CARNIVAL OF CHAOS (1019) 106 118  2 47.3  23/ 9 AT THE TABLE (8646)       1  2 0
24/25 LAZY 12 (8390)             8   9  1 47.1  24/25 FINGERS CROSSED (9400)    1  2 0
25/22 ROMAN DIVINITY (7761)     44  53  4 45.4  25/27 ALL-TIMERS (6879)         1  2 0
26/23 HARVEST DAY (6987)        29  35  4 45.3  26/11 FEAR FACTORY 8 (6744)     1  2 0
27/ 0 BLOODHAMMER CLAN (3703)   40  50  2 44.4  27/ 0*030305N (5678)            1  2 0
28/24 RESTRICTIONS (117)       130 167  7 43.8  28/36 HISPANIC RELATIVES (1737) 1  2 0
29/26 HISPANIC RELATIVES (1737) 31  40  0 43.7  29/28 DON'T ASK WHAT IT  (1602) 1  2 0
30/27 LEGAL TERMS (124)         47  63  3 42.7  30/ 0*040908O (9425)            1  3 1
31-28 BIG TEN 3 (6980)          30  45  1 40.0  31/ 0*121707C (8865)            1  3 0
32/ 0*040908O (9425)             2   3  1 40.0  32/ 0 COOL GAMES (6418)         1  3 0
33/29 FEAR FACTORY 8 (6744)     36  56  2 39.1  33/32 COMPOSERS (2238)          1  3 0
34/32*WORLD BLADES (1662)        9  14  2 39.1  34/ 0 STYROFOAM (1041)          1  3 0
35/ 0*120507N (8820)             3   5  0 37.5  35/ 0*120507N (8820)            1  4 0
36/30 FINGERS CROSSED (9400)     5   9  0 35.7  36/ 0*072905U (6451)            0  5 0
37/31 DON'T ASK WHAT IT  (1602)  5   9  0 35.7  37-31*STRIKE FORCE (4500)       0  5 0
38-33 COLLEGE RADIO 3 (5444)    41  75  2 35.3  38/26 LAZY 8 (8396)             0  3 0
39/35 COMPOSERS (2238)          14  32  0 30.4  39/ 0*RESORT TERMS (675)        0  3 0
40/34 LAZY 8 (8396)              5  12  0 29.4  40/33*G FORCE 4 (9080)          0  2 0
41-37 STAFF OF MAGIUS (6985)    12  31  0 27.9  41/38 CARNIVAL OF CHAOS (1019)  0  2 0
42/ 0*030305N (5678)             3   9  0 25.0  42/ 0 STANT (8973)              0  1 0
43/36*G FORCE 4 (9080)           2   6  0 25.0  43/ 0 PRACTICAL (8976)          0  1 0
44/ 0*121707C (8865)             1   3  0 25.0  44/ 0 TREES (8983)              0  1 0
45/ 0*072905U (6451)             1   5  0 16.7  45/ 0 ALLERGY (7866)            0  1 0
46/ 0*RESORT TERMS (675)         2  12  0 14.3  46-34 STAFF OF MAGIUS (6985)    0  1 0
47-38*STRIKE FORCE (4500)        1  11  0  8.3  47/ 0 BLOODHAMMER CLAN (3703)   0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly DWES EG games.  Former top team ROMAN DIVINITY was 
unseated this week as BROTHERS IN ARMS moved up from 6th ranking to take the top spot 
with a 2-0-0 record for the round.  The proverbial rising comet can only hope to 
compare with WORLD BLADES' team record!  A 2-2-1 week and now a firm grasp on a 2nd 
place ranking.  I have begun to suspect trickery on the part of HACK2.  How else 
weeks like this one's 1-1-0?  How else the sudden move to 12th team?  The proverbial 
rising comet can only hope to compare with DRAWN TOGETHER's team record!  A 1-0-0 
week and now a firm grasp on a 13th place ranking.  I have begun to suspect trickery 
on the part of RESTRICTIONS.  How else weeks like this one's 1-2-1?  How else the 
sudden move to 16th team?  AT THE TABLE bore the brunt of major assault on their 
standings this week as they dropped to 23rd position as the result of going 0-1-0!  
My tutors were fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This 
week FEAR FACTORY 8 went 0-1-0 and fell 15 notches into 26th!  LAZY 8 bore the brunt 
of major assault on their standings this week as they dropped to 38th position as the 
result of going 0-1-0!  SEMI-SWEET caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial 
commission as it skillfully bested PERU and was awarded 41 points in recognition.  In 
one of the week's more notable duels, BUENA ESPOSA put down CAPABLY ZIPPY, causing it 
to lose 10 points of recognition in the process.  Not for nothing has LOUSY TIMING in 
the past laid claim to the Duelmaster's throne, and this week it's proven its combat 
skill yet again.  Would you believe that over half of the old women in DWES EG seem 
to feel that they could fight better than you gladiators?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  I saw one fighter that warriors 
avoided when this week's challenge seeking began.  MARK'S STUFF II is feared.  This 
much I can say.  Apparently the stalwarts of BROTHERS IN ARMS are catching the bulk 
of jests down at the challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  Mighty 
fighters cannot but expect competition from those below.  PROM take warning!  You 
have more than a few enemies in DWES EG.   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  I must report the passing of ASH, veteran of many duels.  9-10-0 
final record Its was not illustrious--but death plays no favorites.  This week's duel 
proved deadly to ASH as it fell to the more renowned warrior, WAR TOY.  How will 
TREES find revenge?  Dark alleys may hide both secrets and assassins.  In the arena 
there is only the brightness of steel.  Keep vigil always!   
     The girls are as pretty in DWES EG as ever I remembered them....and the fighters 
as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  More than a sharp eye must I keep, indeed 
a stout pair of legs must I keep as well!  The endless paths of Alastari await me!  
Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a 
different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LOUSY TIMING 49925            8   9  1 122         LAZY 12 (8390)            

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BRIAN KINNEY 27703            9   1  1 139         QUEER AS FOLK (4505)      
-DIAMOND RUGS 56822           10   1  1 120         COLLEGE RADIO 3 (5444)    
-RIPKEN 56713                 11   7  0 109         ORIOLE MADNESS (967)      
-BURKES CAFE 6800             19  16  1 105         ORIOLE MADNESS (967)      
 VEIL OF DECEPTION 56697      18  13  0 103         DRAWN TOGETHER (6991)     
 LONDON CALLING 41246          8   6  0  95         ALL-TIMERS (6879)         

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARCHAIC TRIAD 56745          15  11  0  90         ROMAN DIVINITY (7761)     
-RENEGADE 43401               12   5  0  90         INK & STEEL X (7273)      
 FUNGAL CRAWLER 56999         20  23  1  84         FEAR FACTORY 8 (6744)     
 GHOST PEPPER 56860            9   1  3  82         HARVEST DAY (6987)        
 ASTRO 56700                   6   0  0  80         ERATTA1 (9085)            
 EYES 53200                    7   6  1  73         FACE (8975)               
 ELLINGTON 56846              13  24  0  71         COMPOSERS (2238)          

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GREEN TEETH 8997              7   3  0  65         BROTHERS IN ARMS (1321)   
 CALORIE THREAT 49955          5  12  0  65         LAZY 8 (8396)             
 GRASS 56969                   8  13  0  60         RESTRICTIONS (117)        
-BABYLON 27706                 7   2  0  59         QUEER AS FOLK (4505)      
 BURGER BOX 7278               7   1  0  58         STYROFOAM (1041)          

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MINDS EYE 43404               6  11  0  55         INK & STEEL X (7273)      
 SEMI-SWEET 36113              1   2  0  51         030305N (5678)            
 HIS TRAIN 56455               8   6  1  49         MARK'S STUFF II (9441)    
 ASSI 53190                    7   7  0  48         STANT (8973)              
-SKEETER BEATER 56526          5   4  0  48         COLLEGE RADIO 3 (5444)    
-RHINEHORN 57108               4   0  0  48         INK & STEEL X (7273)      
 BT 54180                      4   0  0  44         HACK2 (9156)              
 CAPABLY ZIPPY 51751           8   6  0  42         SOME GUYS (8727)          
 BLUSH 53206                   5   3  0  36         PRACTICAL (8976)          
 SCRAPPLE 11025                5   9  0  34         DON'T ASK WHAT IT I (1602)
 MOLDY MOUTH 8995              3   1  0  34         BROTHERS IN ARMS (1321)   
-SEPTA STRIKE 27681            1   3  0  34         STRIKE FORCE (4500)       

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OVERRULED 57164               7   1  1  31         LEGAL TERMS (124)         
 SHOWGIRL HAMS 52371           3   1  0  31         120507N (8820)            
 SHAWN 51344                   8   6  0  30         AT THE TABLE (8646)       
 PROM 55558                    5   9  0  30         FINGERS CROSSED (9400)    
 MONACO 56315                  3   1  1  28         WORLD BLADES (1662)       
-THE BRAVERY 56982             3   1  0  26         COLLEGE RADIO 3 (5444)    

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HILDA 56885                   2   4  0  26         BLOODHAMMER CLAN (3703)   

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GALA NOUGAT 55697             2   0  1  23         040908O (9425)            
-INKED KNIGHT 57133            3   1  2  22         INK & STEEL X (7273)      
 CHARLES WOODSON 53805         2   0  0  22         G FORCE 6 (9088)          
 PERU 56136                    2   2  1  19         WORLD BLADES (1662)       
 ACCOUNTANT 5072               1   5  0  18         RESORT TERMS (675)        
 ACID EATER 57166              1   4  0  17         CARNIVAL OF CHAOS (1019)  
 CRIM 54181                    1   3  0  17         HACK2 (9156)              
 CRUST BOUNDER 52617           1   0  0  16         121707C (8865)            
 NO BOOZE 57163                3   2  0  11         RESTRICTIONS (117)        
 JACK & COKE 57171             1   4  1  11         RESTRICTIONS (117)        
-MYSTERY 56660                 1   3  0   9         COLLEGE RADIO 3 (5444)    
-BLACK EYE 57126               1   0  0   9         BIG TEN 3 (6980)          
-DWAYNE THE DOG 12213          1   0  0   9         WILLING BLADES (1779)     
 WE HEART KATAMARI 38615       1   0  0   7         COOL GAMES (6418)         
-RADIANT ECLIPSE 56775         0   1  0   7         STAFF OF MAGIUS (6985)    
 HUGE 56958                    0   1  0   5         ALLERGY (7866)            
-PINKY RING 57176              0   1  0   1         QUEER AS FOLK (4505)      

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BOZO THE CLOWN 34226    0  1 0 030305N 5678         STONE GOLEM           477  NONE
STUPID DOG 34228        0  1 0 030305N 5678         WURM KIN              477  NONE
A 55693                 0  1 0 040908O 9425         BANDIT PRINCE         477  NONE
AWESOME EDGER 55696     0  1 0 040908O 9425         BLACK ORC             477  NONE
B 55694                 0  1 0 040908O 9425         SPYMASTER             477  NONE
A 38780                 0  1 0 072905U 6451         SHEWISH GIANT         477  NONE
B 38778                 0  1 0 072905U 6451         BLACK ORC             477  NONE
C 38781                 0  1 0 072905U 6451         ARENAMASTER           477  NONE
D 38779                 0  1 0 072905U 6451         SHEWISH GIANT         477  NONE
YOOHOO DOUBLE F 38782   1  1 0 072905U 6451         MONACO 56315          477   
A 52372                 0  1 0 120507N 8820         SPYMASTER             477  NONE
B 52373                 0  1 0 120507N 8820         ARENAMASTER           477  NONE
C 52374                 0  1 0 120507N 8820         SHEWISH GIANT         477  NONE
D 52375                 0  1 0 120507N 8820         STONE GOLEM           477  NONE
A 52616                 0  1 0 121707C 8865         BANDIT PRINCE         477  NONE
B 52618                 0  1 0 121707C 8865         BLACK ORC             477  NONE
C 52620                 0  1 0 121707C 8865         HIGH ELF              477  NONE
A 38614                 0  1 0 COOL GAMES 6418      SHEWISH GIANT         477  NONE
B 38616                 0  1 0 COOL GAMES 6418      BANDIT PRINCE         477  NONE
C 38617                 0  1 0 COOL GAMES 6418      DARK CHAMPION         477  NONE
ATTIC WHISPERER 57012  22 19 0 DRAWN TOGETHER 6991  DIAMOND RUGS 56822    475   
BRETT FAVRE 53767       0  2 0 G FORCE 4 9080       JACK & COKE 57171     477   
MAL MUJER 56434        11  7 0 HISPANIC RELATI 1737 LOUSY TIMING 49925    476   
PATRON 57207            0  1 0 HISPANIC RELATI 1737 STONE GOLEM           477  NONE
0001 13970              3  2 1 JAN 2002 2073        WAR TOY 7167          474   
CAMDEN YARDS 57161      2  2 0 ORIOLE MADNESS 967   PERU 56136            475   
ACCORD 29550            0  1 0 RESORT TERMS 675     SPYMASTER             477  NONE
ASPINE 29551            0  1 0 RESORT TERMS 675     WURM KIN              477  NONE
BALL 7279               0  1 0 STYROFOAM 1041       DARK CHAMPION         477  NONE
CUP 7275                0  1 0 STYROFOAM 1041       SPYMASTER             477  NONE
SCIENCE EXPERIME 7276   0  1 0 STYROFOAM 1041       STONE GOLEM           477  NONE
ASH 53242               9 10 0 TREES 8983           WAR TOY 7167          477   
JINKY 11432             1  3 0 WORLD BLADES 1662    GALA NOUGAT 55697     477   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BALL was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
ACCORD was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
B was easily killed by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena match.
A was slaughtered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
PATRON was unbelievably slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
AWESOME EDGER was assassinated by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
SCIENCE EXPERIMENT was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
C was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena struggle.
B was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
A was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
D was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a crowd boring 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
C was slaughtered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
B was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
A was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
CUP was easily killed by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena bout.
C was assassinated by ARENAMASTER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena match.
A was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena conflict.
D was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
B was murdered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena brawl.
C was easily killed by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena conflict.
B was slaughtered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena bout.
A was slaughtered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fray.
STUPID DOG was executed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
BOZO THE CLOWN was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a tiresome 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
ASPINE was murdered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena bout.
BT narrowly defeated SCRAPPLE in a 2 minute bloody Challenge fight.
MOLDY MOUTH bested PROM in a popular 2 minute Challenge contest.
CHARLES WOODSON overpowered ACID EATER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BRETT FAVRE was narrowly killed by JACK & COKE in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
LOUSY TIMING handily defeated ARCHAIC TRIAD in a 1 minute one-sided Title contest.
VEIL OF DECEPTION overpowered ELLINGTON in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven fight.
WAR TOY viciously butchered ASH in a exciting 1 minute gruesome veteran's fight.
FUNGAL CRAWLER was overpowered by LONDON CALLING in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ASTRO overpowered CALORIE THREAT in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
GHOST PEPPER viciously subdued KUNG-FU MASTER in a exciting 1 minute gory duel.
GRASS was savagely defeated by EYES in a popular 2 minute brutal expert's duel.
BUENA ESPOSA demolished CAPABLY ZIPPY in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
HIS TRAIN beat BLUSH in a 2 minute bout.
BURGER BOX handily defeated SHAWN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
GREEN TEETH vanquished ASSI in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
HILDA was subdued by SHOWGIRL HAMS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
OVERRULED beat CRIM in a popular 1 minute fray.
JINKY was murdered by GALA NOUGAT in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CRANKY CRANE demolished ACCOUNTANT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
PALESTRINA beat MEAT SANDWICH in a popular 1 minute duel.
SEMI-SWEET handily defeated PERU in a 1 minute mismatched match.
YOOHOO DOUBLE FUDGE was slaughtered by MONACO in a 1 minute brutal one-sided match.
NO BOOZE was vanquished by CRUST BOUNDER in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
WE HEART KATAMARI subdued HUGE in a 1 minute beginner's conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  18         WALL OF STEEL      7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|AIMED BLOW                      15         STRIKING ATTACK   28 -  15 -  5      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  11 -  0      61  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         TOTAL PARRY       14 -  10 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         LUNGING ATTACK    51 -  52 -  6      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   5 -  0      44  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         AIMED BLOW        62 -  83 -  3      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   11 -  17 -  3      39  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         BASHING ATTACK     2 -  24 -  0       8  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 477 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  7         3  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  5     AIMED BLOW         6 -  9         3  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 - 18         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      VEIL OF DECEPTION -8839    18  13  0  103 DRAWN TOGETHER (6991)
AIMED BLOW       LONDON CALLING -24290       8   6  0   95 ALL-TIMERS (6879)
PARRY-LUNGE      ARCHAIC TRIAD -8791        15  11  0   90 ROMAN DIVINITY (7761)
STRIKING ATTACK  GHOST PEPPER -8676          9   1  3   82 HARVEST DAY (6987)
SLASHING ATTACK  EYES -12336                 7   6  1   73 FACE (8975)
PARRY-STRIKE     BT -11356                   4   0  0   44 HACK2 (9156)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is VEIL OF DECEPTION -8839.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was PROM -9978.  The ten other most popular fighters were EYES -12336, BT 
-11356, MOLDY MOUTH 8995, WAR TOY 7167, GHOST PEPPER -8676, PATRON -8329, SCRAPPLE 
11025, LOUSY TIMING -15611, VEIL OF DECEPTION -8839, and HIS TRAIN -9081.

The least popular fighter this week was D -13161.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were BOZO THE CLOWN -31310, SCIENCE EXPERIMENT 7276, NO BOOZE -8373, YOOHOO 
DOUBLE FUDGE -26754, PERU -9400, ACCOUNTANT 5072, JINKY 11432, HILDA -8651, SHAWN 
-14192, and BLUSH -12330.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

VEIL OF DECEPTION (82--8839) DRAWN TOGETHER

                      SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA

We have planned our summer FTF for July 13-15, 2018, in Arlington, Virginia, only 7 
miles on a quick Metro ride from Washington, D.C.!.  It will be held at the Holiday 
Inn Arlington at Ballston.  Room rates are $79 per night on 7/12 and 7/15 and $129 on 
7/13 and 7/14, 1-2 occupancy.  There's free wireless throughout the property as well 
as a fitness center, outdoor pool, and business center, as well as a resturant and bar 
inside the hotel.  There is no airport shuttle and parking is $7/day.  The rooms are 
blocked -- ask for the Reality Simulations block.  Reservations must be made by 6/12.  
(As always if you have issues making reservations, please let us know!)  

                       Hotel site:  http://www.hiarlington.com 

Look for the tournament info sheet and minioverviews some time in June.  We hope 
you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!

                                          -- RSI

                             Mission to the Twisted Lands

                                     Episode One

     Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with 
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride.  He was a huge horse, a half-giant's 
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his 
shoulders and hips.  Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant, 
Keel Woodhaven.  Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up 
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
     It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.  
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently 
toward the tree-crowded coast.  The distant trees, not just pines, were green.  They 
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot 
springs in it.
     Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur.  It had a relaxed feel about it, the 
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun.  And 
the booze was excellent, of course.  He passed the arena at the edge of town, and 
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern.  So, 
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster?  Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful 
profession?  Then he noticed the team name:  Shewish Picnic.  He snorted.  That 
explained it, all right.  As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme, 
which was present in Home Guard as well.  It was sort of funny though.  He saw that 
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle.  Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet, 
though.
     They passed a small chicken ranch.  A rooster uttered an untimely crow.  At about 
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted.  Cussing, Keel hauled on 
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently 
frightened.  He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind 
him, looking frustrated.  At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside 
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
     Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted 
the horse's sweaty neck.  "You're okay now, friend.  I'll go take care of those 
bozos."
     As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some 
with swords and some with halberds.
     "Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
     "Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old 
Brown's butt.
     "Well damn!"  Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
     "So have you," the guard continued.
     "Yeah, thought so.  Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though."  Keel 
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.  
"Who are you guys?"
     "We are the Queen's Guard."
     "What?  Queen Gemra?  Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find 
the ***holes that shot him."
     "Sir, you are mistaken.  You will be taken to a doctor.  We will arrest the 
assailants."
     "Hey!  I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand.  Anyway, they shot my horse.  My 
HORSE!  I'm gonna get 'em."  Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
     Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of 
geese.  They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs 
and walked the fastest.  The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat 
Langerman.  And you are?"
     "Keel Woodhaven."
     "I've heard of you!  The Queen will want to meet you."
     "That's fine.  Let's stick to the sides of these buildings.  If they're still 
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
     They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail 
which jingled.  However, Bonsur had a lively night life.  Music and laughter came from 
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and 
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a 
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages.  So the sounds the guards made 
weren't too noticeable.
     Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch.  He was thinking that the bad guys 
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted.  They might have left clues, though.  
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and 
signed by a notorious crimelord.  Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies... 
personalized masks.  Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers.  Anything.  Witnesses, 
even.
     There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch.  It was full night 
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
     Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
     "Yup."
     "Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
     Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.  
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
     The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer 
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there.  Keel crouched a 
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint 
greenish glow.  He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
     A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little.  Keel 
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it.  He was good at tavern darts, 
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky.  The little 
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof.  There was a startled twitch 
from the half-seen form.  At that instant, Keel lunged across the street.  His long 
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds.  More bolts came out 
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
     Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to 
reload a crossbow.  The four men charged, yelling wildly.  Tucking his sword under his 
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged 
it.  After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely.  The roof sagged, 
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it.  Keel 
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
     There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an 
alley.  Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit.  Keel's prisoner started to try to get 
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against 
the wall.
     "Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
     "Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his 
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
     "I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said.  "There's a dead one here.  I think 
there were two more."  He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured 
arm.  "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch.  If you could get them for me?"
     They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
     "What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
     Keel shrugged.  "No clue.  Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."  
He listened.  "Your guys are coming back."
     "Yeah."
     The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at 
least there were no further injuries.  The group of them returned warily to the 
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old 
Brown's wound.  After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel 
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee.  The medic set 
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely 
handsome man.  Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be 
good looking.  That didn't mean they weren't competent, though.  Brat had done pretty 
well.
     The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts.  They all sat in the main 
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair, 
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head.  "All right," said Brat.  
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
     "Not on your life, pretty boy!"  The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard 
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close 
together.  He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly 
handsome Guardsmen.
     Keel leaned forward.  "You guys shot my horse."
     "Oh.  Sorry, didn't mean to do that.  We were just shooting at you."
     "Why?"
     "Glowing sword."
     "What?"
     "Duh, it's a magic sword!  We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured 
we could sell it so we followed you."
     The half-Shew snorted.  "The Dentless isn't magic.  It was in a Chaos Gate for 
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all.  All it does, is glow.  
And cut things."
     The bandit looked chagrined.  "But... it's got to be magic."
     "Ain't.  Sorry kid."
     After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace.  Queen 
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and 
luscious curves.  She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted 
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate.  He entertained her with the story of his 
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her 
appreciation.  She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart 
belonged to another, always and forever.
     
                                      * * * * * 

                           This is a continuing adventure.  
         Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!