Date   : 04/18/2005    Duedate: 04/30/2005


DM-1    TURN-520

This Weeks Top Honors


(1-7478) [22-12-0,92]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BRICK WALL                     POSITION IS EMPTY
(1-7478) [22-12-0,92]          

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

HAYDAN                         SNAG
(1-7356) [12-40-1,77]          (1-6519) [9-8-0,81]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)       59
2. MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)      51      CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)
3. SWEORDMASTERS (138)         38      Unchartered Team
4. CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)       14
5. OF WOLF AND MAN (478)        4      SWINE LOVE (249)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0 CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)     51  26  0 66.2   1/ 2 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)   10  4 1
 2- 1 THE REVELATION (222)     111  63  6 63.8   2/ 5 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)     9  2 1
 3- 2*BEASTIE BOYS (560)        16  13  4 55.2   3/ 3 SWEORDMASTERS (138)       8  6 3
 4/ 3 SWEORDMASTERS (138)      353 352 45 50.1   4/ 1 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)   8  7 1
 5/ 4 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)   112 125 18 47.3   5- 4*BEASTIE BOYS (560)        5  4 1
 6/ 5 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)    271 311 28 46.6   6- 6 THE REVELATION (222)      2  8 0
 7/ 0 OF WOLF AND MAN (478)     21  25  0 45.7   7/ 0 CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)     1  0 0
 8/ 7 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)  392 605 12 39.3   8/ 0 OF WOLF AND MAN (478)     0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Homicidal Maniacs ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     The Brick Wall was thinking, not an activity for which it had ever been
intended.  But some situations demanded thought, and the Wall was not a golem to
refuse or ignore a demand.  The Rookie Manager had stated, in a public place where
the Brick Wall had been passing the time holding up a shelf for a bracket that had
needed time off, that he could, "See through a Brick Wall in time."
     This was a statement that, to the Brick Wall's admittedly limited cogitive
abilities, had several unresolved measurements in it.  And it was a well known fact
that even the best of Masons could not do good work with a faulty blueprint.
     First, what did Rookie Manager mean by "see through"?  The Brick Wall was
composed of ordinary clay bricks, which are quite opaque.  Not for it the glamour and
fragility of glass brick!  It was, therefore, quite impossible for anyone to "see
through" it unless a hole was first created.  A window, in other words.  But if the
Great Architect had intended the Wall to contain a window, surely said window would
already be present?  Could it be that the Rookie intended to CREATE a hole by the
application of some brutal and unlicensed force?  The Brick Wall considered this
possibility and finally decided, with a distinct lowering of the ceiling, that the
Rookie might intend that very thing, despite the obvious fact that it was contrary to
the intention of the Great Architect.  None the less for that, the Brick Wall was
confident of its ability to resist an attack by its teammate.  It was the Architect's
intention that the Wall should stand firm.  That was, after all, the primary duty of
     And second, the Rookie Manager expected to do this "in time."  In time for what?
Time, in the units favored by the protoplasmic ephemerals, was not a concept the Wall
understood well.  If the Rookie needed to see something that was on the other side of
the Wall, why could he not simply walk around?  It wasn't like the Wall was a Fence.
Some ephemerals were wedded to violence, and it was a measure of the Brick Wall's
confusion that it would use so many concepts inapplicable to the work of the Great
Architect in one thought.  But what else was a Wall to do when faced with such a
     If a wall could be said to sigh, the Brick Wall sighed.  Its bricks shivered in
their places and then settled more firmly into the mortar.  This was something it
would take a protoplasmic ephemeral to understand.  It would present the whole
question to Bottle of Beer.

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Bottle of Beer viewed the alley with disfavor.  It was dark and wet, and there
were probably thugs in it.  He considered pointing out that he was not a man who
consorted with thugs by choice, but dismissed the idea.  It was not his choice to be
walking toward the Bar Sinister, after all, and besides, the grip that Lady Protector
Sandy had on his collar would have made talking difficult.
     "The managers you're looking for might not be there," he said in a choked
whisper.  "There are other nasty taverns in Mordant."
     Sandy shook him lightly.  "Don't get cold feet on me, buster!"
     "But they're wet!  My feet.  Of course they're cold!"
     She shook him again, a little harder.  "This is the lowest bar in the city--"
[It was in a cellar at the end of the alley, down twenty-three steps.]  "--and it's
EXACTLY the place to look for the managers *I* am looking for.  Besides, think how
convenient it will be--the bar's cook will take care of the bodies, nothing for me to
dispose of."  She twisted her grip a little.  "You wouldn't want one of those bodies
to be yours, would you?"
     Bottle of Beer said, "Guk," which he hoped she would understand as complete

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 519): BRICK WALL of HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 404): SCARDY CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 524): SAGA of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 520): BAGMAN of HITMEN FOR HIRE (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 519): JOHN TYLER of I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 523): SATAN CLAUS of HOLIDAY HORRORS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 520): MAJOR ANGER of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 515): SIX DEMON BAG of BIG TROUBLE (Edge, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 507): BARBU of BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 505): SUIGENERIS of TROOPERS (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 479): SANDPAPER CONDOM of MEMPHIS MAFIA II (Talon Darkhart, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 470): RUNABOUT of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 206): ULRIK VORN of THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 457): CRIX BREMOORE of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 405): DELANGE of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 193): MOUSETRAP of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 181): JUDAS PRIEST of CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 355): BENSI DURN of MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 158): RYSHER of ORIGINALE BASTARDS ( ! , mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 398): SPEEDI of SHAMROCKS from DELARQ TOR (Leprechaun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 519): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 404): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 524): AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 520): WESTSIDE BULLOCKS (Farnham, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 519): I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 523): HOLIDAY HORRORS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 520): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 515): SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 507): BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 505): TROOPERS (Lord Genesis, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 479): MEMPHIS MAFIA II (Talon Darkhart, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 470): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 206): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 457): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 405): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 193): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 181): ILL AVENGERS (Knolan, Master Wildstorm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 355): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 158): FILM FUN (Otto X. Frothingslosh, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 398): ODD SQUAD, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 524): SUNBURN of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
              (turn 523): BRUENOR of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 519): MY BIG TOE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 515): SIX DEMON BAG of BIG TROUBLE (Edge, mgr.)
               (turn 514): TYCHO of THE MOONDOGS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 507): JANDOLIN of GHAELIE SIDHE (Mordraith, mgr.)
                (turn 506): GOHAN of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 478): SKIRZA SLAPSTIK of THE FALLEN (Azrael, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 469): FUGAZI of TEAM FLOYD (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 457): CRIX BREMOORE of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
               (turn 456): SUSHEE SU of DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
                           JOHN ROSE of DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 157): ORPHAN of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     It would appear that Bottle of Beer is, not to put to fine a point on it, too
drunk to properly channel the Brick Wall.  I certainly don't intend to do it!  As
nearly as I can make out, in a cursory survey of the "message," this is it:

     _____ _____ _____

     _____ _____

Almost poetic, isn't it?
-- anonymous non-translator for the Brick Wall

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
MORDANT brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, HOMICIDAL MANIACS, since 
MANNEQUIN'S BEST took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  LAB 
EXPERIMENTS turned their 5-0-1 turn into a 2nd place rank in the listings this turn.  
Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Now let's all watch MANNEQUIN'S 
BEST's heads swell from their 5-0-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big shots, big talk, 
big deal.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see HONEST JILES win a fight 
and gain 19 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, HONEST JILES beat ROOKIE MANAGER and ROOKIE 
MANAGER lost 16 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  And if variety is the spice of 
life, MORDANT may be getting bland, as BRICK WALL stays top dog in the city.  
Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys 
win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only 
shines through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     What does the MORDANT arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Just wait 'till next time I show 
up here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRICK WALL 7478              22  12  0    92       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNAG 6519                     9   8  0    81       OF WOLF AND MAN (478)
 HELLACIOUS 7541               8   1  0    81       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
-JOHNNY RYALL 7540             6   0  0    80       BEASTIE BOYS (560)
 HAYDAN 7356                  12  40  1    77       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
 2000 YR. OLD MAN 4521        10   5  0    74       CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LORD BLEEDS 6520              9   3  0    66       OF WOLF AND MAN (478)
 MESSIAH 7607                  8   1  3    61       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HONEST JILES 7576             4   1  0    55       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
-THE FALSE PROPHET 3809       14  12  0    54       THE REVELATION (222)
 BOTTLE OF BEER 7620           6   4  0    53       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
 MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627          6   1  1    51       SWEORDMASTERS (138)
-BORN TO DIE 5305             13   7  0    46       THE REVELATION (222)
-EGG RAID ON MOJO 7568         3   1  0    43       BEASTIE BOYS (560)
-TWO-HEADED FERRET 7193        4   1  0    40       CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)
 TERCERO ENCANTO 7635          3   0  1    37       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
-DAISY DUKE 4292               3   1  0    36       CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)
 ROOKIE MANAGER 7639           4   4  1    34       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DOO-DOO THE CLOWN 7237        4   0  0    34       CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HREOWAN 7669                  2   0  0    31       SWEORDMASTERS (138)
 WISHFUL THINKING 7659         3   1  1    30       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
-BOBO THE DOG BOY 7229         4   3  0    29       CARNIVAL FREAKS (192)
 SPEEDWELL 7667                2   0  0    28       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
 PRIMA DONNA 7682              2   0  0    27       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
 DEMONSEED 7653                4   1  1    24       SWEORDMASTERS (138)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JIMMY WONG 7674               2   0  1    23       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
-GOD IS A WOMAN 7417           4   1  0    19       THE REVELATION (222)
-JAMMY 7603                    2   1  2    18       BEASTIE BOYS (560)
-NUMEROLOGISM 7419             2   3  0    17       THE REVELATION (222)
 HAIKU 7681                    1   1  0    15       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
-BRASS MONKEY 7536             3   2  2    13       BEASTIE BOYS (560)
 JONNY BANANAS 7686            1   0  0    13       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
-HEADSNAPPER 6576              1   2  0    11       OF WOLF AND MAN (478)
 DEADLY BORE 7657              1   5  0     8       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
-TIME AND MONEY 7677           1   0  0     6       BEASTIE BOYS (560)
-SNAPPERHEAD 6561              0   4  0     6       OF WOLF AND MAN (478)
-TUNNEL VISION 7678            0   1  0     1       THE REVELATION (222)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CAERAN SLAVE 552       0  1 0   1                   MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627  520 NONE    
CONVICTED THIEF 546    0  1 0   1                   DEMONSEED 7653        520 NONE    
CONVICTED THIEF 546    0  1 0   1                   JIMMY WONG 7674       520 NONE    
RUG ATHEIST 7673       0  1 0 MANNEQUIN'S BEST 537  JAMMY 7603            518 REVENGED
MARK OF THE BLES 7418  3  1 1 THE REVELATION 222    ROOKIE MANAGER 7639   518         
1111121019912 7684     0  1 0 SWEORDMASTERS 138     HIGH ELF 564          520 NONE    
1215615151011 7685     0  1 0 SWEORDMASTERS 138     STONE GOLEM 571       520 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

The False Prophet -- You're so FALSE!  I laugh at you, Ha Ha. -- Rookie Manager
P.S.  Or should that be "Bwa-ha-ha"?  I want to get it right, you know.
P.P.S.  And *I* can kill a houseplant.  They die when they see me coming, in fact.

Johnny Ryall -- That's all well and good, but who's going to clean up afterward?
People are always leaving messes for me to clean up. -- Haydan

Born to Die -- Aren't we all. -- Bottle of Beer

Jimmy Wong -- The Deadly Bore was going to write you a personal, but I just don't
have the stamina to type it today.  Please take the thought for the deed. --
anonymous typist

Destiny -- You have a rusty scimitar?  Clean it up at once! -- Bottle of Beer

28 March 2005
Is there anybody in the DM game who is incarcerated that has had to litigate in order
to continue playing?  Or anyone in the free world who may be able to help me with
case law or legal advice?  The Administration has already taken "D&D type games" from
us once (though I recently had that decision overturned).  I believe it's only a
matter of time before they try it again and I am prepared to file a lawsuit if need
be.  I enjoy DM and any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated!  I
can be contacted at:
     Danny Warren
     P.O. Box 250
     Draper, UT  84070
     Heathen, mgr. Misnomers DM 47

28 March 2005
Ladies and gents...get your teams together and join in on the hottest and fiercest
contest ever to grace the arena sands!  Intrigue, personal wars, you name it...we got
it going on!  What is this contest?  It's the Turf War IV in DM 47, North Fork!!
This fantastic contest was begun by my alliance mate Asmo Dius, and I've picked up
some of the slack.  Contest starts on Turn 225 (approx. date June 9th?).  It's an
"alliance-type contest", so grab your folks and bring them in for a bang up time.
Rules will be printed in the DM 47 newsletter at least until the contest starts. --
Baphomet, Host...Company of Brothers Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of Alliances

28 March 2005
Contest Announcement
It's finally here!  ScumFest 2005!  The greatest scum in the land of Alastari are
formally invited to participate in ScumFest 2005, a contest involving the scummiest
scum in all of Alastari!

Who:  All Scum in Alastari
What:  Scum Fest 2005!
Where:  Talahya
When:  May 23rd, Talahya Turns 490-499

The object of winning ScumFest is to have the longest cumulative time (in minutes) at
the end of the 10th round.

Should there be a tie at the end of 10 rounds, tiebreakers are (in order):
- Head to Head Record
- Win/Loss Percentage
- Average Fight Length
(We'll go into overtime if they're still tied)

There are no other rules.  A manager may use any means at his disposal in order to
accomplish his goal.  Collusion, hiring Aimed Blows to take out the leaders, etc.
Anything goes!

To enter the scum fest, please write a personal ad in the DM 100 newsletter,
declaring your intention to join the contest, or send an email to managerr@aol.com

Please include warrior name and ID numbers of the contestants.  You may enter the
competition up until Turn 494.

Prizes will be announced after the competition begins.  The point of the contest is
to prove you have the scummiest scum, and necessarily for a silly prize.

Good luck and Happy Scumming!

-- Manager

6 April 2005
                                SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE

     I would like to make a formal announcement to all the managers of Alastari that
the inaugural/memorial challenge put forth by Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest (Richard
Hammes) has been approved by the commission.  The contest will be held in TROCAR,
arena 54, beginning on the turn that starts around June 2nd.  Keep in mind that this
is a slow arena.  Before I go on, I would like to personally thank the commission for
procuring an outstanding top prize for this contest.  This announcement follows my
last and entry into the contest will be a minimum $5 donation, which I will pool and
give to a charity in the San Diego area in Richard Hammes' name and memory.  My
address is at the end.  Once the donation is made, I intend to notify RSI of the
charity and amount we donated as a matter of pride for them and us in this game!  I
will notify everyone in an all arena ad as well.
     The contest is pretty simple.  Any team may enter, there are no restrictions on
fight experience!  There are no challenges, avoids, bloodfeuds, or tourneys allowed
and only one single use of the Dark Arena is allowed after the contest begins.  To
help eliminate any interference, I am going to allow avoids of non-contest teams in
case they are there to manipulate and affect the winner of the contest.  Scoring is
as follows:

1 point for winning
1 point for killing (giving 2 in total, 1 for the win and 1 for the kill)
1 point for at least one of your warriors writing a personal (regardless of number of
     personals beyond one you still only get one point).  Make sure it is written
     from one of your team's warriors and not simply the manager entity or you will
     not get the point.
-1 point for losing
-1 point for being killed (giving -2 in total, -1 for losing and -1 for being killed)

     The contest will last for 12 turns, again beginning roughly June 2nd.  May I
point out that if you use your Dark Arena fight you will get either 2 points, for
winning, or -2, for losing, and ALL fights count in the scoring.  It matters not if
you fight a non-contest warrior or a stand-in; they still count as much as fighting a
contest warrior.  This will be a test of basic strategy with a touch of luck added in
as well.
     If anyone should break the no tourney rule they will lose 5 points for each
warrior entered and those warriors, and any subsequent warriors who replace them in
death, cannot score points!  Break the no DA, challenge, or avoid rules (except
avoids of non-contest teams) and you will be DQ'd as soon as the transgression is
discovered.  To keep the contest playing field as level as possible, we will have no
messing with these rules.  Of course you may DA the one time, just as a
clarification, but the second time gets you DQ'd.  This also counts if it is found
you bring a second team in for the purpose of making challenges.  You can bring a
second team, just don't think they can challenge to give you an advantage.  This
means DQ to your contest team.  A second team may also enter the contest with its own
donation of $5 and adherence to the rules.  Well, enough of that, I'm sure you'd like
to see the prizes so here they are:

1st place - +1 bonus to one warrior on the team, 1 resurrection potion, and 1
     favorite knowledge
2nd place - +1 bonus for one warrior, 1 favorites knowledge
3rd place- +1 bonus for one warrior
Iron Manager - Run 54 of the possible 60 fights and get a +1 bonus potion

     The resurrection potion may be used on any FE warrior, however the favorites and
+1 bonus potions must be used on a warrior with at least 5 FE.  These prizes also
must be used within 2 turns of the ending of the contest.  Even those rookie level
teams can figure out a way to use that resurrection potion if you think night fight
;), after the contest of course, so don't think this is only good for experienced
teams!  Check your rosters and unused RU's and see if you can't find a reason to come
and test your mettle!
     Again, entry fee is a minimum $5 donation, money order preferred method but if
that doesn't work for you we can figure alternate means.  If a hopeful entrant
happens to be incarcerated and the only real means of making the donation is an
account transfer, please make sure you let me know where the transfer came from and
which team it is for.  I prefer that this only be used as donation method by
incarcerated players unless otherwise discussed with me.  Please drop me an email, or
diplo my team in Tobir(14), letting me know you are sending a donation for entry and

the amount so I can be on the lookout for it in the mail.  Thanks to all who have
sent their sympathies regarding our game's loss of a kind and admirable soul and my
best wishes to all!

Street Legal
Jeff Bura
193 Pepperidge Dr.
Wixom, MI 48393
THE DEATH SQUAD (63) in Tobir, arena 14

12 April 2005
                               A Question of Contests
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     The familiar figure of a veteran manager clad in an Elven War Cloak at a lone
outpost somewhere near the cross roads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen sorted through his
vast disarray of DM papers and notes.
     Hammer pondered upon the recent dispatches that he had received regarding the
upcoming contests that he had been invited to participate in; after all, most contest
managers enjoyed having a HAMMERZ stable on the sands, due to the fact that they were
usually comprised of dues paying gladiators who were just a cut above the average RSI
Stand Ins.
     The Scum Fest in ADM sponsored by the veteran manager named Manager looked like
an entertaining offer, but alas, Hammer had NO candidates worthy enough to warrant
spending the cycle fees for their fleeting participation in such a contest.
     Perhaps sometime in the future, when Hammer succeeded in graduating some Aimers
and a promising candidate from one of his slow arena stables, would be the proper
     TW4 in DM 47 was already on Hammer's list of contests to participate in,
especially with the convening of the Clown Circus in North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena,
along with all the other zany personalities and alliances that promised to make this
the greatest ever Turf War contest that Alastari had ever witnessed upon the bloody
arena sands!
     Those same Clowns had sent Hammer an invitation to participate in a contest that
their Dark Knighties were sponsoring in an Andorian slow arena, but Hammer also had
an invitation to send a stable to DM 54 for a contest being held in the memory of
Slaughter Priest, one of Hammer's former alliance mates who had met with an untimely
and violently unexpected death while doing a good deed for a friend off world in San
     Also added into the mix was an intriguing contest being sponsored by Zalgor
Prigg that was to be staged in a few months in the currently closed DM 13 Dullens
Regular Arena.
     Zalgor had contacted Hammer earlier in the year to inform the veteran manager
that his newest contest would feature a first round Dark Arena Challenge to level the
playing field.  Also, each gladiator would have a hyphenated Style listing after
their name for the Style Masters competition.
     An All Arena Ad Announcement was expected to be filed by Zalgor sometime before
the Summer 2005 Tourney, thus allowing the DM 13 Dark Arena Replacement Warriors from
the Dullens Contest to enter the Rookie Fall Mailer Tourney to prep for the contest.
     Hammer had been considering sponsoring such a Dark Arena First Round Type
Contest, but it would be much better to just enter the Zalgor sponsored contest,
rather than to be subjected to all the current Contest Host Harassment that was
plaguing the many contest arenas throughout Alastari.
     A grim smile crossed the lips of Hammer as he thought about the possibility of
the Clowns getting a taste of their own medicine while sponsoring their Andorian
     Hammer quickly took a pen and paper, writing instructions to his gladiator
trainer GrimmDorr at his Hammerz Flower Garden Morya Manor Estate on the Lake on the
outskirts of the DM 28 Morya Arena, to assemble a Cast of Cast Offs to enter the
upcoming contest being sponsored by Zalgor Prigg.
     Hammer jotted down a note to file the following stable with the Gladiatorial
Commission once Zalgor Prigg had announced the contest in Dullens DM 13 Arena:
Zalgor Prigg sponsored contest in Dullens DM 13 whenever the Gladiatorial Commission
was ready.
     Hammer then turned his attention to the two slow arena contest invitations that
tugged at his emotions for full participation.
     However, there was only room for one more stable addition in the current plans
of the veteran manager, who had deactivated his SNOW CALL HAMMERZ in DM 50 to devote
his attention to entering a new stable in a promising slow arena contest.
     Street Legal had recently cleared the air with the Gladiatorial Commission in
regards to sponsoring SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE in DM 54, which would begin in Trocar
around the first week of June.
     As yet, there seemed to be NO OFFICIAL ALL ARENA ANNOUNCEMENT from the Clowns
regarding their contest in an Andorian slow arena.
     These Clowns had a lot to learn about sponsoring and advertising contests!
     Hammer thought back to two years ago when Maximillian had convinced the veteran
manager to Co-Sponsor Maximillian's Morya Madness in the DM 28 slow arena.
     Abarsis the Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades in the
Madness by entering a stable named LEE FAMILY.
     LEE FAMILY had NOT missed a single fight during the Madness until Slaughter
Priest's life was snuffed out one dark night in San Diego while helping a friend.
     When the Delarq Death Fest was sponsored by Hammer in the DM 59 Illis slow
arena, Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades by sending a stable
named FASCIST DROOL to compete for the Ten Death Fest Prize Categories.
     Abarsis the Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes had been a true DM friend and
a fine competitor among many, not to mention a close comrade in arms while Hammer had
been a member of the Vendetta Cartel.
     As was written by Street Legal a.k.a. Jeff Bura in a recent All Arena Ad Eulogy
to the Memory of Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes:
     "On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
     Now the DM Community who either knew Rich personally from the RT and VC Emails,
or from crossing blades on the sands with this avid DM competitor; now have the
opportunity to Honor His Memory by competing in a DM 54 contest held in his Honor.
     Could Hammer do no less?
     This was an opportunity to set aside personal goals and allocate the necessary
funds to enter a stable in SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE to Honor the Memory of Rich Hammes!
     Hammer quickly filled out an entry form to dispatch to the Gladiatorial
Commission to register the following stable in DM 54 Trocar for SLAUGHTER'S
     Be it known that MEMORIAL HAMMERZ are hereby registering SLAUGHTER HAMMER, FASC
Trocar for the Street Legal sponsored contest in Honor of Richard Hammes a.k.a.
Abarsis the Slaughter Priest.
     GRUNGE GIRL was one of Slaughter Priest's warriors from his FASCIST DROOL.
stable that was entered in the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59 Illis Arena, so it was only
fitting to name one of the MEMORIAL HAMMERZ gladiators after one of Rich's warriors
that had competed in a Hammer Sponsored Contest.
     Hammer leaned back in his chair and reflected upon the memories of his fallen
comrade from his days in the Vendetta Cartel. Tears moistened the veteran manager's
eyes upon every remembrance of his fallen VC comrade in arms.
     Hopefully the odd assortment of veteran and newbie managers would answer the
call to cross blades in Honor of the fallen Slaughter Priest in the type of contest
that Rich had envisioned to one day Sponsor and Participate with some of Alastari's
Finest Managers!
     This One's for YOU Rich/Slaughter Priest; May You Rest in Peace!

Minister of War
kLk Knight
Illuminati Ice Pick

12 April 2005
                           FRATSFA'S QUEST FOR THE BEST!!!

     Rollup certs aplenty!  Need to know favorites for warriors initiate or above?
SURE!  Renaming of both the arena and the D.A. Monsters?  Why not!  Skill bonus
potions?  Of course!  This and more is all possible for the top 10 (ten) teams in:
Fratsfa's Quest for the Best!
     What does it cost you ask?  NOTHING!  Who is running the contest and putting up
the total of 30 rollup certs as prizes to be split up amongst the top 6 (six) teams?
Dark Knight Wasby, Dark Knight Goat and Dark Knight Toker of the Desolate Empire of
vendett@UNITED!  The gaming commission is also going to supply prizes for the top 10
(ten) teams.  Where?  FRATSFA DM-52!  When?  The month of July, T-207.
     Rules!  We, of the Desolate Empire, do not like the word Rules!  So, we use the
term requirements.  Here they are:

1.  One team per manager entered in the contest.
2.  Only (1) Total Parry on your team at a time.
3.  You must declare (1) warrior as your team's scout.
4.  Managers that have teams established in Fratsfa must have 3 (three) warriors in
    the initiates class by the contest's 3rd turn.  (If they wish to compete, or can
    send in new team!)
5.  If you bloodfeud, you must use a different warrior each time to score the
    bloodfeud points.
6.  You must declare your team in the p-ads to be entered.
7.  A declared champion and scout cannot be the same warrior.
8.  Champions are not required (manager's choice)!  Champions must be declared on the
    first fight.

     We are also offering 25 bonus points to managers that submit a brief history (5
paragraph minimum) including your manager and team name by the contest's 3rd turn.
These points will be added to the scores on turn 211.
     Now, on to the scoring:  Wins + Kills - Losses = base score
                                     Base score + Variants = Total Score

WIN = +1 point
KILL = +1 point
LOSS = -1 point

SCOUT WIN = +2 points
SCOUT LOSS = -2 points
SCOUT DEATH = -5 points
CHAMPION WIN = +3 points
CHAMPION LOSS = -3 points

     Let's say (a) team goes 3-2-2 = 3 wins + 2 kills - 2 losses = +3 base score.
His champion won (+3 pts) and is style master for this turn (+1 pt).  His scout lost
(-2), for a total turn score of +5 points.
     Now, let's say (b) team goes 1-4-1 = 1 win + 1 kill - 4 losses = -2 pts.  His
fighting marvel of a scout won (+2 pts) and the scout's win was a successful
bloodfeud (+2 pts).  So, the total points for the turn would be +2 points.  (There
was no champion on this team.)

Now on to the prizes:

     1)  12 (Twelve) rollup gift certificates transferred to "Fratsfa's Best"
         ultimate victor.
     2)  Renaming of Fratsfa's arena for 6 (six) months.
     3)  Renaming of D.A. monsters: Wurmkin', Bandit Prince and Black Orc.
     4)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     5)  1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.**
     1)  8 (eight) rollup gift certificates transferred to 2nd place manager.
     2)  Rename the D.A. monsters:  Dark Champion and High Elf.
     3)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     4)  1 (one) +1 bonus potion.*
     1)  4 (four) rollup gift certificates transferred to 3rd place manager.
     2)  Renaming of D.A. monsters Mountain Troll and Shewish Giant.
     3)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     4)  1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.**
     1)  3 (three) rollup gift certificates
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     3)  Rename D.A. Monster Stone Golem
     1)  2 (two) rollup gift certificates
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     3)  Rename D.A. monster Spy Master
     1)  1 (one) rollup gift certificate
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     All teams that fight at least 67 of the possible 75 fights will get 1 (one) FREE
tournament entry for a warrior of that team in the first tournament after the
completion of "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best"!

-- NOTE --
* -- All potions must be used within 2 (two) turns of the contest and on initiate
(tournament class) or higher character on the same team that competed in Fratsfa,
*  1 (one) favorites potion gives all faves:  Rhythm, Tactic and Weapon.
** 1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion gives +1 to 1 (one) skill.

    Our thanks go to RSI for their cooperation with us on the prizes they have
sponsored to make this contest of ours a reality.
     Any questions can be addressed to Toker, mgr. Vincere Aut Mori in DM 18 or by
email:  darkknighttoker@yahoo.com!  OR to Goat, mgr. Desolate Ones DM 47 or to Wasby,
mgr. Soul Forge in DM 47.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

1111121019912 was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
1215615151011 was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 4 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
BRICK WALL unbelievably bested SNAG in a action packed 2 minute veteran's Title match.
HAYDAN was viciously subdued by HELLACIOUS in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
2000 YR. OLD MAN devastated BOTTLE OF BEER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MESSIAH devastated BLACK DEVIN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ROOKIE MANAGER was handily defeated by HONEST JILES in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP slaughtered CAERAN SLAVE in a 1 minute gory uneven duel.
TERCERO ENCANTO vanquished FIORENZE OF FRATSFA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DEADLY BORE was overpowered by HAIKU in a popular 1 minute gory uneven match.
DEMONSEED murdered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched match.
WISHFUL THINKING handily defeated GESHI SCRIVENER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
SPEEDWELL demolished GESHI SCRIVENER in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HREOWAN handily defeated GESHI SCRIVENER in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
JIMMY WONG slaughtered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
PRIMA DONNA vanquished SLEN SNOTNOSE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
JONNY BANANAS devastated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         LUNGING ATTACK    39 -  17 -  7      70  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -   7 -  3      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         TOTAL PARRY       18 -  14 -  1      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK     6 -  10 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  17 -  1      37  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         WALL OF STEEL      6 -  13 -  1      32  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         AIMED BLOW         2 -   8 -  0      20  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  21 -  1      19  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 520 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      BRICK WALL 7478            22  12  0   92 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
SLASHING ATTACK  SNAG 6519                   9   8  0   81 OF WOLF AND MAN (478)
LUNGING ATTACK   HELLACIOUS 7541             8   1  0   81 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
BASHING ATTACK   BOTTLE OF BEER 7620         6   4  0   53 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is HAYDAN 7356.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SNAG 6519.  The ten other most popular fighters were 1215615151011 7685, HELLACIOUS 

The least popular fighter this week was DEADLY BORE 7657.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BOTTLE OF BEER 7620, 1111121019912 7684, JIMMY WONG 7674,