DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 02/20/2006    Duedate: 03/04/2006

MORDANT ARENA

DM-1    TURN-539

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

HELLACIOUS
MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
(1-7541) [16-3-0,192]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HELLACIOUS                     GORRILLA
MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)         BAM BAMX (577)
(1-7541) [16-3-0,192]          (1-7757) [1-1-0,17]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

BELESARIUS                     SPEEDWELL
ROMAN EMPIRE (531)             LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
(1-7122) [19-20-1,87]          (1-7667) [9-1-0,97]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

SWEORDMASTERS (138)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BAM BAMX (577)              48
2. GUNS-N-ROSES (314)          37      DEATH'S DOOR (129)
3. MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)      37      Unchartered Team
4. SWEORDMASTERS (138)         34
5. ROMAN EMPIRE (531)          29      STEEL LEGION (581)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*JGW'S DARKNESS (574)       4   1  1 80.0   1/ 2 SWEORDMASTERS (138)      10  3 2
 2- 2 VOID (526)                12   8  0 60.0   2/ 1 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)   10  4 0
 3- 3*DARK REGIMENT (443)       13   9  0 59.1   3/ 3 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)     9  3 0
 4/ 0 DEATH'S DOOR (129)        50  39  1 56.2   4- 4 LETHAL HERITAGE (572)     6  4 1
 5/ 5 SWEORDMASTERS (138)      380 363 50 51.1   5/ 7 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)   6  7 1
 6- 6 LETHAL HERITAGE (572)     20  20  2 50.0   6/14 ROMAN EMPIRE (531)        5  5 0
 7- 7*VORTEX (571)              14  14  2 50.0   7- 8*JGW'S DARKNESS (574)      4  1 1
 8/ 8 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)   138 140 21 49.6   8- 9*VORTEX (571)              4  4 0
 9/10 ROMAN EMPIRE (531)       236 259 16 47.7   9- 5 WIND STORM (144)          4  5 0
10/ 9 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)    293 322 29 47.6  10-11*DARK REGIMENT (443)       3  1 0
11/ 4*STEEL LEGION (581)        11  13  0 45.8  11/10*STEEL LEGION (581)        3  6 0
12-11 WIND STORM (144)         421 529 30 44.3  12/ 0 DEATH'S DOOR (129)        2  3 0
13/13 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)  434 653 13 39.9  13- 6*JGW'S ABSTRACT (573)      2  8 0
14/12 ARENA FELINES (559)       10  16  1 38.5  14/16 GUNS-N-ROSES (314)        1  1 1
15-14*JGW PERISHABLE (409)       3   5  0 37.5  15-12*JGW PERISHABLE (409)      1  4 0
16/15 GUNS-N-ROSES (314)        54  92  9 37.0  16-13 VOID (526)                1  4 0
17-16*JGW'S ABSTRACT (573)       9  16  0 36.0  17/ 0*BAM BAMX (577)            1  4 0
18-17*THE WHEEL (527)            4  12  0 25.0  18-15*THE WHEEL (527)           0  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0*BAM BAMX (577)             1   9  0 10.0  19/17 ARENA FELINES (559)       0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 538): HELLACIOUS of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 423): GOLDEN SHARK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 546): BLACK WIDOW of MISTRESS 4 XMAS (Angus, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 542): SCANDALF of THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 541): INGOLD KERR of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 545): HOMOCULOUS of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): PINK NOSE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 537): QUIP of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 529): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 528): ADDUCTOR MAGNUS of MUSCLE MEN (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): OTIS THE DRUNK of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 492): WALDO of BOY O'S (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): MATT RISIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 479): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 428): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 192): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 421): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 538): MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 423): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 546): FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 542): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 541): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 545): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 537): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 529): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 528): D.R.I. (Var, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): ACT OF MALICE (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 492): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 217): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 479): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 428): RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): OF WOLF AND MAN (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 192): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 169): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 421): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 541): HAPPY CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 543): TURTLEFACE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 528): BACK JUICE of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 502): OTIS THE DRUNK of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 376): DIO of MIDGETS (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hail, and well met, warriors of Mordant!

I expected to face a stand-in for the title and was instead pleasantly surprised to
meet Belesarius on the sands.  I hope he will forgive me for treating him so rudely.
I suppose it's my nature to behave that way.  In any case, it seems as though my stay
upon the throne won't last much longer.  You see, I'm caught between a rock and a
hard place.  I need a few more fights to be properly timed for a run in a Champions
tourney; the problem is, I am nearing my 20th arena fight and I already have the
wins, skills and political points necessary for induction.  What to do, what to do...
I guess I will defend my throne this turn and then sit it out until shortly before
the next tourney.  Sooooo, it looks like the throne will be up for grabs.  Who will
be ready to take their spot upon it?

Congratulations to our most recent Tourney Victors, Black Breeze (Freshmen), Hreowan
(Initiates) and Crow's Nest Guy (Apprentices).  Way to go!!  It's nice to see Mordant
popping up on the tourney lists once again.

Until Chaos rules and the Isle sinks, farewell!

Hellacious

                                      SPY REPORT

     You elder fighters surely remember me.  The younger ones may call me Olaf 
Modeen.  I return to MORDANT once again!  Biff!  Pow!  MORDANT watched with glee as 
MANNEQUIN'S BEST got knocked off top spot by SWEORDMASTERS!  Phhbltt!  Too much 
drinking and too little dodging gave JGW'S ABSTRACT a 0-0-0!  I got a good laugh out 
of it!  Up 'n down.  Up 'n down.  Rankings always change.  Up 'n down.  I think I'm 
gonna be...  Well, ROMAN EMPIRE's 6th moved them up to 4-1-0 place.  Some people say 
I ramble too much, I don't say anything relevant.  I repeat myself.  I ramble.  Well 
HOMICIDAL MANIACS moved up 2, to 5th.  What's with NITE TRAIN?  He actually beat 
MANNEQUIN'S BEST's HAIKU, and walked away with 37 more points from the fight.  Laughs 
were big at MANNEQUIN'S BEST while they watched MESSIAH clobber OLD FART.  He lost 20 
points and got bruised from objects thrown from the stands.  Try as he might, KILL ME 
PLEASE wasn't good enough at persuading HELLACIOUS to step down from the Duelmaster's 
throne...  I suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow 
fighters?  Tough!   
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  How well I know the feeling 
of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of practive, SWEORDMASTERS!  
Management must be dealin', as the boys at GUNS-N-ROSES ain't reelin'!  
SWEORDMASTERS' mad!  What do people see in NITE TRAIN?  His 9-7-3?  GUNS-N-ROSES 
ain't talkin', but he's got 118 points.   
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  NITE TRAIN proved too determined for HAIKU.  HAIKU was lucky 
to go in the ring, with 8-4-3 to his credit.  He will be remembered.  How long have I 
been here?  I got people to see, places to go...   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  The end 
of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Remember--a good 
fighter needs both good skills and good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HELLACIOUS 7541              16   3  0   192       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NITE TRAIN 6583               9   7  3   118       GUNS-N-ROSES (314)
 HREOWAN 7669                  8   2  2   113       SWEORDMASTERS (138)
 MESSIAH 7607                 13   3  3   112       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
 SPEEDWELL 7667                9   1  0    97       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
 TERCERO ENCANTO 7635          9   1  1    96       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OLD FART 1723                12   6  0    90       DEATH'S DOOR (129)
 KILL ME PLEASE 1721          14   4  0    89       DEATH'S DOOR (129)
 BELESARIUS 7122              19  20  1    87       ROMAN EMPIRE (531)
 MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627         14   3  2    83       SWEORDMASTERS (138)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LAN 6724                      7   6  0    66       WIND STORM (144)
-KANDRIS 6612                 10  12  1    61       WIND STORM (144)
 OLD HAG 4086                  6   6  0    60       DEATH'S DOOR (129)
-MY MICHELLE 6652              1   1  0    60       GUNS-N-ROSES (314)
 CARACALLA 7115                7   5  0    57       ROMAN EMPIRE (531)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLODIUS AESOPUS 7116          8   8  0    56       ROMAN EMPIRE (531)
-KRAZY KAT 7525                4   2  0    56       ARENA FELINES (559)
 S.S.'S TWIN 4085              8   4  0    55       DEATH'S DOOR (129)
-BRUJAH 7730                   5   1  1    53       LETHAL HERITAGE (572)
-CRIMSON CAVALIER 6231         4   1  0    51       DARK REGIMENT (443)
 ROOKIE MANAGER 7639          11  16  1    50       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
 JIMMY WONG 7674               7   2  1    44       LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACK PLAGUE 1720             7  11  0    32       DEATH'S DOOR (129)
-CATIFF 7734                   3   1  0    32       LETHAL HERITAGE (572)
-ROCKET QUEEN 6674             4   2  1    31       GUNS-N-ROSES (314)
-GANGREL 7733                  3   2  0    30       LETHAL HERITAGE (572)
-CAPELLA 7777                  4   1  0    29       VOID (526)
-LAST REBEL 5896               3   1  0    28       JGW PERISHABLE (409)
-VENTRUE 7731                  2   1  0    28       LETHAL HERITAGE (572)
-GOLD 7787                     4   0  0    27       STEEL LEGION (581)
-KADRINA SHADEWEAVER 7771      5   0  0    26       DARK REGIMENT (443)
-COBALT 7784                   3   2  0    25       STEEL LEGION (581)
-SWEET CHILD 6687              3   0  0    25       GUNS-N-ROSES (314)
 SQUIRREL NUT 7793             2   0  0    24       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAEL 7696                     4   1  1    23       SWEORDMASTERS (138)
-PATIENCE 6716                 2   0  1    23       GUNS-N-ROSES (314)
-T.S. POISON IVY 7737          4   2  0    20       VORTEX (571)
-BOOMER 7741                   5   4  0    19       WIND STORM (144)
-T.S. TALON VOLKSIE 7740       4   2  1    19       VORTEX (571)
-MALKAVIAN 7732                1   1  0    18       LETHAL HERITAGE (572)
-TURTLE POWER 7714             3   2  0    17       JGW'S ABSTRACT (573)
-DURBAN POISON 7716            3   2  0    17       JGW'S ABSTRACT (573)
-PEDRON NIALL 7776             2   3  0    17       THE WHEEL (527)
 GORRILLA 7757                 1   1  0    17       BAM BAMX (577)
 RANDOM MANIAC 7800            1   3  1    15       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
-BLACK CAT 7527                1   0  0    15       ARENA FELINES (559)
 TUNGSTEN 7788                 2   4  0    14       STEEL LEGION (581)
-LORD DOOM 7723                1   0  1    14       JGW'S DARKNESS (574)
 BEERIN BOTTLEMAN 7802         1   3  0    14       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
-TENDER VITTLES 7523           0   6  0    14       ARENA FELINES (559)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SALAMANDER 7769               3   3  1    13       WIND STORM (144)
-DARK PROPHET 6234             1   1  0    13       DARK REGIMENT (443)
-BROTUS REDEYE 7770            1   0  0    13       DARK REGIMENT (443)
-BASKET CASE 7722              1   0  0    13       JGW'S DARKNESS (574)
 MADDENED BELLHOP 7801         3   1  0    12       HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121)
 WOEBEGONE 7795                1   1  0    12       SWEORDMASTERS (138)
 LAP LOVER 7665                1   5  1    11       ARENA FELINES (559)
-EARLY MISTY 7717              1   4  0    11       JGW'S ABSTRACT (573)
 SOULCRUSHER 7799              1   2  0    11       MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
 144131791611 7820             1   0  0    11       SWEORDMASTERS (138)
-TARMON GAI'DON 7789           1   0  0    11       WIND STORM (144)
 QUINTUS 7822                  1   0  0    11       ROMAN EMPIRE (531)
-T.S. FLOYDD 7736              2   4  0    10       VORTEX (571)
-WIL AL'SEEN 7774              1   1  0     9       THE WHEEL (527)
-T.S. NEON NECRO 7739          1   5  0     8       VORTEX (571)
-THOM MERRILAN 7772            1   1  0     8       THE WHEEL (527)
-DEATH'S ESCORT 7720           1   0  0     7       JGW'S DARKNESS (574)
-OVERLORD 7719                 1   0  0     7       JGW'S DARKNESS (574)
 MONKEY II 7792                0   1  0     7       BAM BAMX (577)
 COMICUS 7207                  1   1  0     6       ROMAN EMPIRE (531)
 COW 7758                      0   2  0     6       BAM BAMX (577)
 TIGER 7754                    0   2  0     6       BAM BAMX (577)
-BILL CONGAR 7775              0   1  0     1       THE WHEEL (527)
-GHOULBAT 7001                 0   1  0     1       DARK REGIMENT (443)
 FROST 7815                    0   1  0     1       STEEL LEGION (581)
-BLACKENED 7721                0   1  0     1       JGW'S DARKNESS (574)
-JONESY DAVES 5894             0   1  0     1       JGW PERISHABLE (409)
-BAEL 7773                     0   1  0     1       THE WHEEL (527)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CONVICTED THIEF 546    0  1 0   1                   RANDOM MANIAC 7800    539 NONE    
D.A. 7819              0  1 0 BAM BAMX 577          ARENAMASTER KAKAR 568 539 NONE    
SWISS MISS 7715        1  4 0 JGW'S ABSTRACT 573    DAEL 7696             538         
FLAME OUT 7816         1  1 0 LAB EXPERIMENTS 261   STONE GOLEM 571       539 NONE    
HAIKU 7681             8  4 3 MANNEQUIN'S BEST 537  NITE TRAIN 6583       539         
GRAPHITE 7814          0  1 0 STEEL LEGION 581      HIGH ELF 564          539 NONE    
SILICON 7786           1  2 0 STEEL LEGION 581      SALAMANDER 7769       536 REVENGED
OPEN 7688              4  1 1 SWEORDMASTERS 138     BRUJAH 7730           537 REVENGED
JENNIFER 7078          8  3 0 VOID 526              HREOWAN 7669          538         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Turtle Power -- It wasn't as much of a down challenge as it was a warning.  This
legion has its own back.  If you fight a member and win, you can expect a challenge
from another member you won't be so successful against.  This is especially true if
you challenge said member.  As for Lead; he's in the bull pen warming up.  Anyway,
you can rest easy, as Seraphim has dictated I wait it out for a mail-in appearance.
-- Gold (and worth my weight)

Lord Xiang -- Seems I got the bloodfeud business out of the way, but I'm already
suffering from daisy chain of losses due the lack of a full team and the liberal use
of the Dark Arena.  I don't mind death, it's the struggle afterwards that irritates
me. -- Seraphim

Ed. -- I do personals from two different places.  I think this one is text based (you
should tell me if it's not though) but I have no idea how AOL formats its
information.  If you know would you pass it to me so I know if I shouldn't use that
method. -- Seraphim

     This looks lovely; thank you!  I've no idea the ins and outs of AOL's mail
     system though. -- Ed.

Salamander -- Seraphim wouldn't let me kill you, said something about an alliance.  I
have a problem of not always remembering what he says though, so I wouldn't make a
habit of picking off members of the legion. -- Cobalt

Durban Poison -- It wasn't bright where I fought this past turn. -- TS Neon Necro

Early Misty -- It is QUITE correct.  You fall over and go "BOOM!" -- Boomer

Silver Haze -- My name is not Boomer. -- TS Poison Ivy

Swiss Miss -- Buuuurrrrrrrp! -- TS Floydd

JGW -- Working on the recruitment bit.  Have some folks on the way! -- Lord Xiang

Maddened Bellhop -- Those beer bottles belong to YOUR teammate...Beerin Bottleman.
Don't blame me for HIS mess.  The pizza sauce, well, okay...that was me.  As for a
tip?  Don't take any wooden coppers! -- Catiff

Beerin Bottleman -- Not gonna touch THAT comment with a 10' pole! -- Tarmon Gai'don

Random Maniac -- Um.  Sure.  Let me lead you to this nice room where that can happen.
It is soundproofed so the screams can't be heard.  Here is some special armor you can
wear.  Yes, giving oneself hugs is great, isn't it?  And you can do it all day!  Here
is a helmet for you to complete your armor.  This mouthpiece protects your teeth.
That spur keeps the face of the helm away from YOUR face, and is best connected to
the teeth protectors.  Now let me seal the helmet.  Nothing can now get within four
inches of your face, SEE!!  Here are some ankle-guards.  Three inch wide bands of
steel to surround your ankles so they cannot get injured accidentally.  Those rings
on the ankle guards?  Why, they are connections for these chains.  All a secret
weapon!  You ankle-whip your opponent with them!  Okay, I'll connect them now.  Oh,
sorry.  Those are connected to the wall.  *shrug*  I'll need to leave to go get
somebody with a key.  I'll be back in, oh, three or four decades.  TTFN. --
Salamander

Swiss Miss -- Suicide-by-gladiator is no way to go out.  A REAL pud faces death in
the Dark Arena head on.... -- Deal

Jennifer -- Tough break.  Those skills I learned during my TV run in the most recent
tourney seemed to have cost you dearly.  Good luck to you in future Dead Tourneys. --
Hreowan

Brujah -- We have honored Open's death.  You have no need to fear future Bloodfeud
challenges on our part. -- Mischievous Imp

Jonesy Daves -- What?!?  I thought I was going to the Dark Arena!! -- Flame Out

T.S. Talon Volksie -- I guess there is hope for me yet...barely. -- Jimmy Wong

Overlord -- Ughh!!!  As a "project" my manager is granting me a little leniency,
though its duration is sure to be brief if I continue to perform like I have been to
this point. -- Soulcrusher

Beerin Bottleman --  Your defenses are a little weak--perhaps you should add an oaken
cask-lid to your repertoire? -- Squirrel Nut

JGW -- You are welcome for the ale.  It was nice meeting you as well.  I do indeed
plan on making the next winter FTF.  I've had a great time the past couple of years
and hope to continue the trend. -- Mannequin

The Saint -- Lab Experiments is one of my original teams, via North Fork.  The Mun
ran them during my retirement but returned them to me in the Fall of 2002 when I
resumed playing. -- Mannequin, mgr. of Lab Experiments

     Got it.  Looks like my last information must have been from right before you
     started playing again. -- The Saint, keeper of lists

Lan -- Don't you go rushing off!  I have a QUESTION for you, and I want an ANSWER!
So stay right there.  What?  Oh, yeah, okay, "good fight."  *I* didn't like it, but
that's what everybody is supposed to say, right?  Now that's out of the way, here's
my QUESTION.  You ready?  Nick was looking at that stupid "personality statistics"
business on my information sheet, you know the stuff I mean.  And he says I have
BELOW AVERAGE COOL.  That's just RIDICULOUS, and I want you--and all your teammates
and stuff--to TELL him so!  I'm so cool, I'm a damned ICEBERG.  Go tell him! --
Rookie Manager

Squirrel Nut -- Oh, yeah, I've seen those.  It's what acorns are fastened onto the
trees with, right?  Fiddly little things, I don't go much for 'em myself.  But some
people swear by them for other small jobs, like, uh, well, small jobs.  Fiddly little
jobs.  You know.  Uh, well, probably you DO know, what with being one yourself. --
Beerin Bottleman

Comicus -- Like I CARE! -- Maddened Bellhop
P.S.  It just FIGURES that you're a dwarf and you're taller than me.  Naturally.
That's the way this rotten, stinking life WORKS, isn't it?
P.P.S.  What have you GOT in these suitcases, anyway, ROCKS?  Oh, right, you're a
DWARF, what ELSE would you have.  Duh.

Death's Escort -- Well, escort him somewhere else.  I've got things to do, outrages
to revenge and to perpetrate, IMPORTANT stuff. -- Random Maniac

Swiss Miss -- If you say so.  I see that you're not quite live in this land now.
Which is a good state to be in, sometimes.  Kick back and smell the, uh, whatever one
smells in the Spirit Land.  Ferns?  And have a good reincarnation.  Maybe we'll meet
again. -- Beerin Bottleman

Silver Haze -- He probably just doesn't UNDERSTAND you.  Managers are like that.
Nick doesn't understand me.  He expects me to be REASONABLE!  What an idiot. --
Random Maniac

The Saint, Keeper of Lists -- As he will probably tell you, Lord Xiang manages
Vortex, also. -- Nick

Lord Xiang -- "Bunny of Terror"?  Well...that's in the running for SOMETHING, anyway.
-- Nick
P.S.  You want a scary name, try "Tax Audit."

     That's just TOO scary.  Along the less scary line, how about "Death Duckie"? --
     Ed.

Salamander -- Pain makes me stronger! -- Random Maniac
P.S.  After I finish flopping around and screaming.  THEN, I'm stronger.

Tarmon Gal'don -- Surely not! -- Beerin Bottleman, adjusting a false mustache for
added disguise

Catiff -- Well, NEXT time, don't pack your laptop on TOP of the chips! -- Maddened
Bellhop

30 January 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to announce with glad hearts that Heathen
Hatebred is no longer just a friend, but also an alliance-mate.  Heathen brings a lot
with him to our alliance.  His experience, talent, and loyalty will be a great
benefit to us all.  Welcome Heathen; may all our enemies' blood continue to flow
freely! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FLAME OUT was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
D.A. was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER KAKAR in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
GRAPHITE was easily killed by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
SPEEDWELL savagely defeated BELESARIUS in a crowd pleasing 7 minute Challenge duel.
NITE TRAIN assassinated HAIKU in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CLODIUS AESOPUS devastated ROOKIE MANAGER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
SQUIRREL NUT overpowered TUNGSTEN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
HELLACIOUS devastated KILL ME PLEASE in a 1 minute one-sided Title competition.
HREOWAN handily defeated M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
OLD FART was vanquished by MESSIAH in a action packed 1 minute one-sided duel.
TERCERO ENCANTO vanquished RAFFI THE GARROTE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MISCHIEVOUS IMP narrowly defeated SILISA THE SNAKE in a popular 3 minute melee.
JIMMY WONG defeated BLACK PLAGUE in a exciting 1 minute match.
S.S.'S TWIN devastated LIEUTENANT WOREL in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
OLD HAG demolished MONEYBAGS MEFRIN in a popular 1 minute bloody mismatched match.
CARACALLA overcame BLACK DEVIN in a action packed 1 minute fight.
LAP LOVER was defeated by DAEL in a 2 minute gruesome struggle.
WOEBEGONE was handily defeated by GORRILLA in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
COW was devastated by 144131791611 in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
TIGER was overpowered by QUINTUS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
COMICUS beat MONKEY II in a 1 minute novice's match.
SOULCRUSHER handily defeated FROST in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
RANDOM MANIAC executed CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MADDENED BELLHOP subdued GRALL THE DESERTER in a 1 minute beginner's bout.
BEERIN BOTTLEMAN vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         AIMED BLOW        16 -   5 -  0      76  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         TOTAL PARRY       35 -  18 -  1      66  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         LUNGING ATTACK    35 -  25 -  4      58  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  26 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         BASHING ATTACK    24 -  29 -  5      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         WALL OF STEEL     16 -  22 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  30 -  2      40  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  18 -  0      33  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -  10 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 539 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  2                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  4                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   HELLACIOUS 7541            16   3  0  192 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
BASHING ATTACK   NITE TRAIN 6583             9   7  3  118 GUNS-N-ROSES (314)
PARRY-STRIKE     SPEEDWELL 7667              9   1  0   97 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
STRIKING ATTACK  TERCERO ENCANTO 7635        9   1  1   96 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261)
WALL OF STEEL    KILL ME PLEASE 1721        14   4  0   89 DEATH'S DOOR (129)
TOTAL PARRY      MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627       14   3  2   83 SWEORDMASTERS (138)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is BELESARIUS 7122.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SPEEDWELL 7667.  The ten other most popular fighters were FLAME OUT 7816, 
MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627, DAEL 7696, BELESARIUS 7122, SQUIRREL NUT 7793, HELLACIOUS 7541, 
MESSIAH 7607, JIMMY WONG 7674, OLD HAG 4086, and CARACALLA 7115.

The least popular fighter this week was MONKEY II 7792.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were TIGER 7754, COW 7758, WOEBEGONE 7795, LAP LOVER 7665, KILL ME PLEASE 
1721, TUNGSTEN 7788, ROOKIE MANAGER 7639, HAIKU 7681, GRAPHITE 7814, and D.A. 7819.