DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 04/17/2006 Duedate: 04/29/2006 MORDANT ARENA DM-1 TURN-543 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS MESSIAH MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) (1-7607) [17-3-3,150] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader MESSIAH LAST REBEL MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) JGW PERISHABLE (409) (1-7607) [17-3-3,150] (1-5896) [4-2-0,42] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite BELESARIUS MISCHIEVOUS IMP ROMAN EMPIRE (531) SWEORDMASTERS (138) (1-7122) [20-23-1,84] (1-7627) [17-4-2,98] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM SWEORDMASTERS (138) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) 58 2. DEATH'S DOOR (129) 42 LAME SUPERHEROES (516) 3. LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) 30 Unchartered Team 4. MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) 27 5. JGW PERISHABLE (409) 22 LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) 4 1 0 80.0 1/ 1 SWEORDMASTERS (138) 9 4 0 2/ 3 LAME SUPERHEROES (516) 13 6 2 68.4 2/ 3*DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) 8 7 2 3- 4*SEA DOGS (575) 9 5 0 64.3 3/ 2 DEATH'S DOOR (129) 8 7 0 4/ 1*AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) 7 5 1 58.3 4/ 8*AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) 7 5 1 5/ 5 DEATH'S DOOR (129) 62 47 1 56.9 5/ 6 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) 7 5 1 6/ 2*DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) 8 7 2 53.3 6/ 9 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) 6 3 1 7/ 6 SWEORDMASTERS (138) 391 370 50 51.4 7/10 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) 6 8 0 8/ 7 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) 146 144 22 50.3 8/ 4 WIND STORM (144) 5 7 0 9/ 9 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) 24 24 2 50.0 9/11 ROMAN EMPIRE (531) 5 9 0 10- 8*JGW'S DARKNESS (574) 10 10 2 50.0 10/ 0*LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) 4 1 0 11/10 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) 301 330 30 47.7 11/13 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) 3 2 0 12/11 ROMAN EMPIRE (531) 243 271 16 47.3 12- 5*SEA DOGS (575) 3 3 0 13-12*STEEL LEGION (581) 14 16 0 46.7 13-14*JGW'S ABSTRACT (573) 2 2 0 14/13 WIND STORM (144) 429 537 30 44.4 14/17*JGW PERISHABLE (409) 2 3 0 15/14 VORTEX (571) 17 22 2 43.6 15/15 VORTEX (571) 2 5 0 16/15 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) 441 664 13 39.9 16- 7*JGW'S DARKNESS (574) 2 8 0 17/16 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) 55 95 9 36.7 17/20 LAME SUPERHEROES (516) 1 1 0 18/18*JGW PERISHABLE (409) 6 12 0 33.3 18-12*STEEL LEGION (581) 1 2 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19-17*JGW'S ABSTRACT (573) 11 23 0 32.4 19/16 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) 1 2 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT "Avatar" By Johans Johans, Sagamaster of the Desolate Empire and Bard to Archmage Wasby the Great, Dark Knight of the D.E. The magic summoning circle pulsed with arcane power. Wasby the Great would work magic of epic proportions in calling upon the pit fiend Chareos to do his bidding. He had never before tried this spell and was excited to feel the magic flow through him, filling him with ecstasy. He barred the door to his laboratory and looked upon the magic circle with determination. Wasby began to chant the words of power... He awoke lying on a warm marble floor. Feigning unconsciousness, he tried to gather himself. The last thing he remembered was binding Chareos to his will when a flash of red power had clobbered him. The flash seemed to take the form of curving horns. Whatever had happened, one thing was certain. Wasby knew he was no longer in his laboratory. A voice boomed throughout the chamber, echoing with a force felt in his bones. "I know you're awake so stop pretending. Rise and acknowledge me." Wasby climbed unsteadily to his feet and surveyed his surroundings. He was in a palace of gleaming white. He spied a window and studied the terrain. The land looked barren and bleak, with a reddish tint that encompassed the land and sky. After taking everything into his memory for escape, his eyes fell upon the speaker who had commanded him. He gasped in horror. The being in front of him resembled a minotaur, but had to be twenty feet tall! Instead of the face of a bull, a face of exquisite beauty looked upon him. Curving black horns three feet in length swept out from its brow. Wasby had never seen such muscle development in any creature. The end result conveyed the presence of such power and malevolence that he almost fell to his knees. "Yes, recognize me for what I am," the mighty one said with a sneer. "Look upon all that I rule with awe and fear in your mortal heart. Are you not impressed?" Wasby now noticed that shapes were materializing around him. Devils of all sorts appeared before his eyes and added to this were the cries of torment and anguish that arose to fill his ears. He realized in that instant where he was--the underworld, land of the dead! He also realized who stood before him. "Osiris, Lord of the Underworld, I bow before your power," Wasby said while sweeping himself flat on the marble floor. "Yes, I thought you would, mortal," replied Osiris. "Are you ready to feel the touch of my torment and know true pain?"... Wasby leaned against the stone wall in his bedchamber, breathing heavily. After what seemed an eternity of torture, he had escaped! He had broken free of his bonds in a moment of chaos when a fallen solar had entered Osiris' throne room and tried to lead an uprising. He had made it outside the throne room and cast his word of recall spell. After being attended to by his aide Fredredo, he slept... The Dark Knights sat together in their warroom. Located in the Desolate Empire fortress outside of Fratsfa, the Knights were glad to see Wasby alive. "It's been over four months. I thought that we'd never see you again," said Heathen. "I had to talk Toker out of marshalling the forces of the Empire and recalling Goat from his mission to use his magic to find you." "I still think we should've," replied Toker. "Well, I'm back now and o.k., so it's cool," Wasby said with a grin, "so I'll be back to my usual tricks, not to mention--" He stopped with a choked off breath. The other Dark Lords jumped to their feet and rushed to his side. Toker looked to Dok Sik for help. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick or something?" "No," replied Dok Sik, who suffered from every malady known to man. "If he was sick or diseased I would have recognized it right away." Wasby looked up and spoke in an unfamiliar voice, gravelly and deep. "Not sick, but perfected. There's nothing any of you can do. He who you know as Wasby the Great is now an avatar among you. I am Osiris." * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 542): MESSIAH of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 425): GOLDEN SHARK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 550): FLAGPOLE PANTIES of FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 546): LEGALASS of THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 545): SAMANTHA FOX of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 549): JUSTIN of THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 546): WOOD CHUCK of EAGER BEAVERS (The Dark One, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 541): QUO VADIS of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 532): FEAR of OF WOLF AND MAN II (Tripwire, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 531): ASYLUM of BLACKEST PRIDE (Ultraist, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 505): SPEKTER of KARNIVORZ (Tripwire, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 495): PAWS of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 483): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 431): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 206): CHAOS WARRIOR of EYE OF THE STORM (Blackstorm, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 194): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 380): JEFFRO of RIO VISTANS (Pauly, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 171): EAGLE KEYS of ANCIENT KNIGHTS (Brewmaster, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 424): BOB, ETERNAL of SANDS OF TIME from CLIFFHOME (The Muffin Man, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 542): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 2 NIANIA (turn 425): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.) DM 3 OSKSI (turn 550): GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.) DM 4 JHELUM (turn 546): THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 545): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.) DM 6 TRANSEL (turn 549): WINGED LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.) DM 7 BONSUR (turn 546): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.) DM 10 KOLACT (turn 541): QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 532): SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 531): GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 505): OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 495): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 483): none DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 431): AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 206): MILLENIUM METAL (Street Legal, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 194): VINCERE AUT MORI (Dark Knight Toker, mgr.) DM 62 VALAMANTIS (turn 380): LEGION OF LEGEND (Seraphim, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 171): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.) ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 424): BLACK PRIMERS (Doc Steele, mgr.) Recent Graduates ----------------- DM 1 MORDANT (turn 542): HELLACIOUS of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 545): INGOLD KERR of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.) DM 5 KALTOS (turn 544): NORLE PARTH of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.) DM 18 TALCAMA (turn 531): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.) DM 21 SUNSET (turn 531): ASYLUM of BLACKEST PRIDE (Ultraist, mgr.) DM 36 JHANS (turn 504): OLIVE OYL of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.) DM 38 CLIFFHOME (turn 494): GROUCHO of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.) DM 42 RODEKI (turn 483): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.) DM 51 TRICORUS (turn 431): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 206): VIKING RAIDER of SPARF! (Crip, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.) WIMPIRA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (170): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.) DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. Well now, it seems as though I will remain here atop the rankings until I earn my invitation to the Isle--which should come this turn whether I win or not. I chose not to participate in the Grand Tourney--I wasn't timed for it and Mannequin wants to graduate me and bring in some new blood for the Olympiad. There are too many of us in the upper ranks and the majority of us are NOT tourney warriors. We only chose to send five warriors to the tourney from our three stables. We have high hopes for a couple of them but we will have to see how they fare. Though this will be printed after the tourney, good luck to all who chose to represent Mordant. Do us proud!! Messiah SPY REPORT Greetings warriors! It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the clash and bustle of the weekly MORDANT games. Fortune did not smile upon JGW'S DARKNESS this time out who this turn suffered a fall into 16th position in the wake of a 0-0-0 round. Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner! Witness how this week AGENTS OF OSIRIS went 2-3-0 to move up 4 in the rankings. Did only my eyes note the 3-1-1 record which MANNEQUIN'S BEST managed to post this round? I don't doubt that such a record will draw challengers! A new guild, LIVE FROM MOSCOW!, entered MORDANT with a clash this turn, showing off a 4-1-0 record. Indeed, a worthy addition to the city guilds. JIMMY WONG caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested CLODIUS AESOPUS and was awarded 19 points in recognition. In one of the week's more notable duels, LIEUTENANT WOREL put down LAN, causing him to lose 12 points of recognition in the process. Not for nothing has MESSIAH in the past laid claim to the Duelmaster's throne, and this week he's proven his combat skill yet again. Would you believe that over half of the old women in MORDANT seem to feel that they could fight better than you gladiators? Many and various are the arts of battle. In MORDANT "art" is a word that has long since passed from the language! MORDANT, city of gladiators! Mighty among the names of thy guilds is DESOLATE TEMPLE, a guild shunned and avoided by many in the weekly duels. If you didn't look down dark alleys you'd have been hard pressed to find any of AGENTS OF OSIRIS last week. Busy avoiding DESOLATE TEMPLE? Loose talk at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters are after COMICUS. Watch your back! A match that raised a few eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that KILL ME PLEASE posted a challenge against the more highly recognized NITE TRAIN. The results, you ask? Well, the firebrand KILL ME PLEASE beat NITE TRAIN. Remember warriors, this is the discipline of steel. I can not but mention with disdain the name of N'AZADAR who this week posted a challenge to a warrior a full 11 points below in the rankings. I thought N'AZADAR showed great skill and promise when he bested CHINA BULL. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser? Warriors, may this counselor stand ready at your right hand forever! Strange what qualities come forth in the face of certain doom. HELLACIOUS has the town astir with the news of hers Dark Arena victory! I must report the passing of CLODIUS AESOPUS, veteran of many duels. 9-11-0 final record His was not illustrious--but death plays no favorites. Walk proud, warriors of ROMAN EMPIRE! By striking down RACHE you have avenged the honor of your dead. Your virtue is known to all in MORDANT. Fate is a fickle mistress. She showers the miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious. Remember this! The girls are as pretty in MORDANT as ever I remembered them....and the fighters as ugly! Don't let your reputation slip! Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy company nor savor the ale of thy fine city. Depart I must and soon! Till we meet again, remember: a turtle walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a lion runs to slay its prey.-- Zontani Sharp Eyes DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MESSIAH 7607 17 3 3 150 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME TERCERO ENCANTO 7635 13 1 1 119 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) KILL ME PLEASE 1721 16 6 0 103 DEATH'S DOOR (129) OLD FART 1723 15 7 0 102 DEATH'S DOOR (129) MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627 17 4 2 98 SWEORDMASTERS (138) NITE TRAIN 6583 10 10 3 96 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) SPEEDWELL 7667 10 4 0 91 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BELESARIUS 7122 20 23 1 84 ROMAN EMPIRE (531) OLD HAG 4086 9 7 0 80 DEATH'S DOOR (129) JIMMY WONG 7674 10 3 2 78 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -CATIFF 7734 5 1 0 66 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) DAEL 7696 8 1 1 63 SWEORDMASTERS (138) BLACK PLAGUE 1720 10 12 0 62 DEATH'S DOOR (129) -MY MICHELLE 6652 1 1 0 60 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ROOKIE MANAGER 7639 11 20 1 54 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) BRUJAH 7730 7 3 1 54 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) KANDRIS 6612 11 15 1 53 WIND STORM (144) STUPENDOUS MAN 6996 9 4 1 52 LAME SUPERHEROES (516) LAN 6724 7 10 0 44 WIND STORM (144) SALAMANDER 7769 6 4 1 44 WIND STORM (144) LAST REBEL 5896 4 2 0 42 JGW PERISHABLE (409) BOOMER 7741 9 4 0 41 WIND STORM (144) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WOEBEGONE 7795 3 3 0 32 SWEORDMASTERS (138) T.S. TALON VOLKSIE 7740 7 3 1 31 VORTEX (571) -ROCKET QUEEN 6674 4 2 1 31 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) BEERIN BOTTLEMAN 7802 4 4 0 31 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) N'AZADAR 7850 3 0 0 31 DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) -GANGREL 7733 3 2 0 30 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) -VENTRUE 7731 2 1 0 28 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) -COBALT 7784 4 2 0 27 STEEL LEGION (581) -GOLD 7787 4 0 0 27 STEEL LEGION (581) -TUNGSTEN 7788 4 4 0 26 STEEL LEGION (581) -REDBEARD 7728 3 1 0 26 SEA DOGS (575) DECADO 7857 2 1 0 26 AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) -BASKET CASE 7722 3 1 0 25 JGW'S DARKNESS (574) -SWEET CHILD 6687 3 0 0 25 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) -SQUIRREL NUT 7793 2 0 0 24 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -DURBAN POISON 7716 4 3 0 23 JGW'S ABSTRACT (573) -PATIENCE 6716 2 0 1 23 GUNS-N-ROSES (314) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -BALLAST 7727 2 0 0 23 SEA DOGS (575) RACHE 7856 1 1 1 23 AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) ENURAM 7851 2 1 2 22 DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) FENDER BENDER 7859 2 1 0 22 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) -T.S. POISON IVY 7737 4 4 0 20 VORTEX (571) -MAKESHIFT ANCHOR 7724 3 1 0 20 SEA DOGS (575) COMICUS 7207 4 2 0 18 ROMAN EMPIRE (531) -MALKAVIAN 7732 1 3 0 18 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) -TURTLE POWER 7714 3 4 0 17 JGW'S ABSTRACT (573) BELY MEDVED 7751 1 0 0 15 LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) HUNGRY DUCK 7749 1 0 0 15 LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) -OVERLORD 7719 2 2 0 14 JGW'S DARKNESS (574) CONNAVAR 7858 2 1 0 14 AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) RANDOM MANIAC 7800 2 6 1 13 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) RELLIK 7852 2 1 0 13 DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) -EARLY MISTY 7717 1 6 0 13 JGW'S ABSTRACT (573) PROPAGANDA 7747 1 0 0 13 LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) -DEATH'S ESCORT 7720 2 2 1 11 JGW'S DARKNESS (574) -CROW'S NEST GUY 7726 1 0 0 11 SEA DOGS (575) -TARMON GAI'DON 7789 1 0 0 11 WIND STORM (144) 113151717183 7890 1 0 0 10 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) LOST SOUL 7868 1 0 0 10 JGW PERISHABLE (409) CALIS 7849 1 2 0 9 DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) KAZACH 7853 0 3 0 9 DESOLATE TEMPLE (586) ZIMA 7750 0 1 0 9 LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) LARRY KING 7893 1 0 0 7 DEATH'S DOOR (129) FROZEN ROPE 7841 0 1 0 7 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) -BLACKENED 7721 1 3 0 6 JGW'S DARKNESS (574) TARAS BULBA 7748 1 0 0 6 LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (576) -CRYSTAL 7869 1 0 0 6 JGW'S ABSTRACT (573) BELTZER 7854 1 1 0 6 AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) -HORTATOR 7791 0 2 0 6 SEA DOGS (575) CHINA BULL 7873 1 1 0 5 HOMICIDAL MANIACS (121) VERMILION 7823 1 1 0 4 JGW PERISHABLE (409) DANYAL 7855 1 1 0 4 AGENTS OF OSIRIS (587) PURPLE HAZE 7827 0 2 0 2 JGW PERISHABLE (409) PLOTIUS NERVA 7894 0 1 0 1 ROMAN EMPIRE (531) DRIVEL 7867 0 1 0 1 JGW PERISHABLE (409) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? UNDEAD WARRIOR 572 0 1 0 DARK ARENA 0 HELLACIOUS 7541 543 NONE MADDENED BELLHOP 7801 3 2 0 HOMICIDAL MANIACS 121 DEATH'S ESCORT 7720 540 LORD DOOM 7723 2 2 1 JGW'S DARKNESS 574 ENURAM 7851 542 991417101411 7891 0 1 0 LAB EXPERIMENTS 261 THE AMAZON 570 543 NONE HAIKU 7681 8 4 3 MANNEQUIN'S BEST 537 NITE TRAIN 6583 539 REVENGED CLODIUS AESOPUS 7116 9 11 0 ROMAN EMPIRE 531 JIMMY WONG 7674 543 QUINTUS 7822 1 3 0 ROMAN EMPIRE 531 RACHE 7856 542 JUST REV 17414917185 7892 0 1 0 SWEORDMASTERS 138 BLACK ORC 565 543 NONE PERSONAL ADS Rookie Manager -- Mock you? Mock YOU? MOCK you? MOCK YOU? -- Catiff Rookie Manager -- Appreciate you? Appreciate YOU? APPRECIATE you? APPRECIATE YOU? -- Lan *evil grin* p.s. Sorry, couldn't resist. Okay, I didn't try to resist, but still.... Random Maniac -- Then I shall endeavor to provide you with pain from my efforts, so you can become stronger. -- Salamander Beerin Bottleman -- Agreed. Now. What were we talking about again? *confused look* -- Boomer Beerin Bottleman -- Yes, yes. I know how to fight with a beer bottle. However, there are a few instances where it is inappropriate to start a fight. Such as when you are the only one in the bar at the time. -- Catiff Beerin Bottleman -- What is the initiation to this esteemed organization? -- Tarmon Gai'don, CLTMB applicant Toker -- The Desolate Empire Alliance is entered! -- Lord Xiang Toker -- Excellent! I need to know who soon. Late arrivals are not allowed. -- Lord Xiang Hellacious -- Congrats on your invite!! Good luck in the tourney as an Immortal! -- Lord Xiang Old Fart -- Damn! I need to get me one of those air fresheners for next time I fight you! -- Kandris Old Hag -- A witch! BURN HER! BURN HER! -- Lan (How do you know she's a witch? -- Lord Xiang) (She turned me into a newt! -- Lan) (A newt? -- Lord Xiang) (I got bettah! -- Lan) Dael -- Bah! I can't get no...sa-tis-fac-tion. -- TS Talon Volksie Basket Case -- Bet you didn't think you'd see me do THAT, now did ya? -- Brujah Stupendous Man -- Perhaps next time, my friend. -- Salamander Redbeard -- I don't think it was luck that I won. Do you? -- Boomer JGW -- I am sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that the RUGs were kind. -- Lord Xiang Seraphim -- Hope you start speaking soon. You need to get in practice for the TOGS contest. You're outta shape for writing personals. -- Lord Xiang Dameon Darkheart -- If all goes well, you should be here this turn, or next. Either way, your absence has been sorely missed. -- Lord Xiang Mannequin -- Are you EVER going to give up ruling this arena? Holy cow! *grin* -- Lord Xiang All -- Live from Moscow declares for the Olympics! -- Huckle Cat, manager Clodius Aesopus -- It's a strange thing about names. I hear someone say yours, and I think, "That man's got a cold in his head." And I hope YOU catch it from him. -- Rookie Manager P.S. You have all the luck. Damn, I TOLD Nick he should let me fight your style, but did he listen? No, of course not! When everyone KNOWS it would have been better, I mean, it's just the way things are! The BEST managers all SAY so. Early Misty -- Ah, fog! I LOVE fog. It's so easy to go creeping around in a fog and GET people when they walk past not even knowing I'm THERE. I just love it. Fog doth make victims of you all. -- Random Maniac Durban Poison -- I didn't know you were allowed to use poisoned weapons in the arena. Do you suppose if I were to put lead paint on my fenders, I could get away with it? Would it work fast enough? -- Fender Bender Turtle Power -- Ah, a half-elf. Always a screwy bunch, the half-elves. Comes of being stuck as neither one thing or another. Too bad. But hang in there, believe yourself a turtle if that's what works for you, and all may yet come out well. You never know. -- Beerin Bottleman Kazach -- I was hoping you'd have a glass jaw. My specialty is china, of course, but glass is also fun. -- China Bull Xiang -- That isn't the way it works, if you want to be sure to get good personals in the arena during the contest. Read the rules for (shudder) Togs sometime. -- Nick P.S. But don't emulate Togs--not the spotlights. That would make Our Editor SOOO mad! P.P.S. I may shut down during the contest. I mostly don't do contests. So don't count on me to be talking then. Catiff -- You KNAVEL! -- Rookie Manager P.S. I WOULD advance to the Big Leagues, except that Nick just won't DO anything about my training. Ed. -- Yes, exactly! -- Rookie Manager Glad to have that cleared up! -- Ed. Toker -- Thanks. I do get tired of talking to the echo. It never has anything new to say. -- Nick All/Lord Xiang -- Count us in for the Olympics. My team name was incorrectly spelled, but hopefully will be changed this turn. It should be Agents of Osiris (587). -- Osiris, Dark Knight of the Desolate Empire All -- The Agents of Osiris are here to represent the Desolate Empire to the best of our abilities. -- Dark Knight Osiris Dark Knight Toker -- Not a bad start, but I expect the competition to be of the highest caliber, so let's be vigilant. -- Dark Knight Osiris P.S. Don't you think I'm much better than that weakling Wasby? Toker -- It's me, Wasby, I can't regain control long. You've got to help me take my body back bef...aagh!... Frost -- I admire and respect your courage. I must say those were some nice punches. -- Barrenblade Connavar Crystal -- Ouch. I'll pass on another pummeling like that again. -- Barrenblade Beltzer Overlord -- You handled that, liked your backups! -- Calis, Barren Blade China Bull -- I got beat by a China Bull! Of all the things to lose to! Damn, but this Dwarf is not HAPPY! -- Kazach, Barren Blade Comicus -- You almost had me there! Good fight. At least I can write my name now. -- Rellik, Barren Blade Lord Doom (ghost of) -- Your death was not intentional; however, it wasn't avoided either. Good luck in the afterlife. Who knows, I might be there with you soon enough. Live by the sword, die by the sword! -- Enuram, Barren Blade of the Desolate Temple (586) P.S. I won't be avoiding and figured if you sent someone it would be Basket Case. Even though I don't know his style, I'll be ready!!! Death's Escort -- Good fight. I really enjoyed it! I wish I could have sacrificed your soul upon the altar of the Desolate Temple like your brother, Lord Doom's, was! -- N'azudar, Barren Blade of the Desolate Temple and member of the Desolate Empire Alliance Osiris -- I know you've invaded my brother Wasby's body and I will do everything I can to return him and expel your essence back to the underworld. However, I have one question; how is it that the ALL POWERFUL OSIRIS allows his team to be named Agents of Isiris. Did Isis take your, em...uh...Godhood, so to speak? -- Dark Knight Toker, mgr. Desolate Temple (586) Desolate Empire Alliance Good luck to all in the Mailer. -- Toker Lady Protector Hellacious -- Ah...please accept our congratulations and go to the Isle with our best wishes. -- Allech Rabo, Her Majesty's Herald P.S. You don't want "lands" here, trust me on this. 24 March 2006 A few notes about e-mailed personals: You may submit personal ads, columns, spotlights, etc. electronically, either via e- mail to ads at reality dot com (which doesn't need any more spam, thank you) or on the web at http://www.reality.com/duel2/modules.php?name=Ads. When you submit something, you should get back a receipt from HAL at RSI. If you do NOT get a receipt, your ads may have gone astray (not all e-mail makes it to its destination any more than all snail mail does). If you DO get a receipt, it should, in the body of the message, tell you what arena your stuff was filed in. Check your receipt to make sure your submission made it to the intended destination. Also check to see that everything you sent made it to the same place. Sometimes HAL, who is rather simple-minded in some ways, will send half your stuff to another arena if the name or number of that arena shows up at the beginning of a line. So if the word Ti appears at the beginning of a line halfway through your ads, all the ads after that may end up in Ti, which is closed and doesn't need ads. As a side note, sometimes things move slowly, so don't wait until the last minute to send your ads and all. If they get held up along the way, they may not show up until next turn. Happy writing! -- Ed. 28 March 2006 We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to welcome two managers to our fold. Kon of the Empire Rising, and Osiris! May they be blessed with the blood of their enemies, and give no quarter in War! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire 11 April 2006 To all those lookin' for some easy pickins: I, Elfwine, manager of The Shallowship, the most feared team in all of Jhelum, invite all who seek wide open spaces for pubs and other such establishments of limited debauchery, to visit this deserted city and help me clear up some of the dust. I'm just about ready to have my guys face off against each other to get some new action. Guess I'd better join a tournament or something...hmmmm, there's a thought. LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS HELLACIOUS viciously butchered UNDEAD WARRIOR in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight. 17414917185 was killed by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee. 991417101411 was slain by THE AMAZON in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena duel. BELESARIUS bested RACHE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight. KILL ME PLEASE narrowly defeated NITE TRAIN in a 4 minute Challenge competition. SPEEDWELL was bested by OLD FART in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge match. JIMMY WONG easily killed CLODIUS AESOPUS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. BLACK PLAGUE vanquished ROOKIE MANAGER in a 1 minute gory uneven Challenge duel. STUPENDOUS MAN vanquished WOEBEGONE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. LAST REBEL overpowered ENURAM in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match. RELLIK was savagely defeated by FENDER BENDER in a exciting 7 minute Challenge fight. N'AZADAR devastated CHINA BULL in a exciting 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. CONNAVAR was savagely defeated by BEERIN BOTTLEMAN in a 3 minute gory Challenge brawl. PURPLE HAZE was handily defeated by COMICUS in a 1 minute Challenge conflict. MESSIAH vanquished OLD HAG in a 1 minute mismatched Title bout. MISCHIEVOUS IMP outwaited M. CHARDINEE in a exciting 7 minute fray. TERCERO ENCANTO devastated TIEN-SHU OF GENRAI in a 1 minute mismatched brawl. KANDRIS was defeated by DAEL in a 1 minute bout. LAN was luckily beaten by LIEUTENANT WOREL in a 2 minute brutal bout. SALAMANDER was narrowly defeated by BLACK DEVIN in a 2 minute bloody fight. BRUJAH devastated MONEYBAGS MEFRIN in a 1 minute one-sided contest. BOOMER outlasted GRUNESH THE ORC in a 12 minute gruesome veteran vs. novice duel. T.S. TALON VOLKSIE vanquished KAZACH in a 1 minute mismatched fray. DECADO overpowered RANDOM MANIAC in a 1 minute one-sided match. VERMILION was overpowered by HUNGRY DUCK in a 1 minute one-sided duel. CALIS was defeated by LARRY KING in a popular 5 minute novice's duel. BELTZER luckily beat FROZEN ROPE in a 3 minute gruesome novice's melee. DANYAL was handily defeated by BELY MEDVED in a 1 minute uneven bout. ZIMA was overpowered by LOST SOUL in a 1 minute uneven competition. DRIVEL was savagely defeated by TARAS BULBA in a 4 minute gruesome novice's fight. 113151717183 handily defeated PLOTIUS NERVA in a 1 minute one-sided fight. PROPAGANDA demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 12 TOTAL PARRY 36 - 22 - 1 62 | |WALL OF STEEL 8 LUNGING ATTACK 66 - 43 - 6 61 | |BASHING ATTACK 7 AIMED BLOW 18 - 16 - 0 53 | |TOTAL PARRY 6 WALL OF STEEL 25 - 23 - 1 52 | |AIMED BLOW 6 PARRY-STRIKE 14 - 18 - 0 44 | |STRIKING ATTACK 5 STRIKING ATTACK 24 - 33 - 2 42 | |SLASHING ATTACK 5 SLASHING ATTACK 18 - 29 - 0 38 | |PARRY-STRIKE 4 BASHING ATTACK 25 - 44 - 5 36 | |PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 14 - 0 33 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 2 - 0 0 | Turn 543 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 3 3 WALL OF STEEL LUNGING ATTACK 9 - 3 AIMED BLOW 2 - 4 2 LUNGING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 4 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 5 2 STRIKING ATTACK WALL OF STEEL 5 - 3 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 4 2 PARRY-STRIKE PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 BASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK MESSIAH 7607 17 3 3 150 MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) STRIKING ATTACK TERCERO ENCANTO 7635 13 1 1 119 LAB EXPERIMENTS (261) WALL OF STEEL KILL ME PLEASE 1721 16 6 0 103 DEATH'S DOOR (129) PARRY-STRIKE OLD FART 1723 15 7 0 102 DEATH'S DOOR (129) TOTAL PARRY MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627 17 4 2 98 SWEORDMASTERS (138) BASHING ATTACK BRUJAH 7730 7 3 1 54 LETHAL HERITAGE (572) FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is BELESARIUS 7122. The most popular warrior this turn was MISCHIEVOUS IMP 7627. The ten other most popular fighters were NITE TRAIN 6583, CALIS 7849, SPEEDWELL 7667, FENDER BENDER 7859, KILL ME PLEASE 1721, OLD FART 1723, FROZEN ROPE 7841, TARAS BULBA 7748, BEERIN BOTTLEMAN 7802, and LAN 6724. The least popular fighter this week was BOOMER 7741. The other ten least popular fighters were RELLIK 7852, DRIVEL 7867, PLOTIUS NERVA 7894, ZIMA 7750, DANYAL 7855, LARRY KING 7893, VERMILION 7823, RANDOM MANIAC 7800, KAZACH 7853, and KANDRIS 6612. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: MESSIAH (1-7607) MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537) The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: HELLACIOUS (1-7541) MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)