Date   : 03/29/2004    Duedate: 04/10/2004


DM-2    TURN-378

This Weeks Top Honors


(2-5103) [22-4-0,109]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SORRY JUNK                     DESPAIR
BIG COUNTRY (593)              DARK ANGELS (605)
(2-5161) [9-4-1,117]           (2-5170) [5-1-0,59]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ANALIRA                        JARCK
(2-5087) [14-21-1,77]          (2-5132) [14-7-0,101]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BIG COUNTRY (593)           59
2. INTIMATE APPAREL (591)      30      GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)
3. GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)     7      Unchartered Team
4. RESURRECTION (570)           4
5. DARK ANGELS (605)            2      DARK ANGELS (605)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*DARK ANGELS (605)          5   1  0 83.3   1/ 2 BIG COUNTRY (593)         8  5 2
 2/ 2 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)  51  19  0 72.9   2/ 3 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)  7  2 0
 3/ 3 BIG COUNTRY (593)         80  63  5 55.9   3/ 1 RESURRECTION (570)        7  4 0
 4/ 5 RESURRECTION (570)       185 182 17 50.4   4/ 5*DARK ANGELS (605)         3  0 0
 5/ 0 INTIMATE APPAREL (591)    13  14  0 48.1   5/ 0 INTIMATE APPAREL (591)    2  3 0
 6/ 6 KNOT WHOLE (443)          12  17  2 41.4   6/ 6 KNOT WHOLE (443)          2  4 0
 7/ 7 THE GOLDEN FISH (147)    315 509  9 38.2   7/ 4 THE GOLDEN FISH (147)     2 13 0
 8- 8*RATTLESNAKE (578)          0   1  0  0.0   8- 8*RATTLESNAKE (578)         0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Dark Federation #5 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     There were just the four of them, or five if you counted Adabemis & Balmador as
two separate people, which Sue E. Syde didn't.  Not much of an army to arrest a
governor.  And just because "Princess Tirisha wants it done."  What did the woman
expect them to DO?  It was beginning to look like Adabemis & Balmador wasn't the only
crazy person around.  She glanced at her companions and wondered if there was any
point in commenting on this.  Not to the Dwarf with his two personalities, although
if one or the other didn't happen to like Tirisha....  No, not to him, or them.  And
she had a good idea that Captain Shirivien already knew it and didn't care, at least,
not enough to run counter to Tirisha's commands.  And her teammate Rob A. Ree...she
shook her head.  Better just to keep quiet for now.
     The streets of Rodeki were quiet, too.  Very few people were out, and they were
keeping close to the sides of buildings and fading down alleys at first sight of the
group from Xochithlan.  Expecting trouble, Sue guessed.
     The governor's palace in Rodeki was not as impressive as Sue had expected.
Large, yes, but so...ordinary.  It looked more like an office building than it did a
palace.  It was built against the side of the mountain that closed in Rodeki on the
north, maybe even built back into the mountain, and it went up three stories with a
sort of tower climbing higher back along the slope.  There were no majestic pillars,
no statues in niches (no niches), and only one balcony.  And it was grubby.  The
stone might have been light-colored originally, but years of the smelter smoke that
sometimes filled the valley had turned it blotched dark brown and sooty black.
Tirisha wasn't going to like this place at all; Sue E. Syde couldn't imagine her
living in it.
     But that wasn't today's problem.  Today's problem was taking it away from
Governor Milvares.  Who wasn't likely to be taken by surprise....
     One side of the big double door opened as the gladiators and Sirivien started up
the steps.  She didn't recognize the man who came out--a Kannar, late middle age,
looked like a man used to wielding authority.  It might be the governor himself.
When they were close enough to hear him without shouting, he said, "Why have you come
     The gladiators instinctively looked toward Captain Shirivien.  "On the order of
our lady, Princess Tirisha of Xochithlan," he said.  "She has commanded us to arrest
Governor Milvares."
     "On what grounds?"  The man's voice was still calm, but there was steel in it.
     Shirivien hesitated.  "The Princess has not offered us explanation.  It is not
our place to question, only to obey."
     A voice from overhead said, "We could drop things on them from here, even though
we don't have proper stuff like boiling lead."
     Sue glanced up.  There was a short woman in a Dwarven helmet on the balcony.
     A tall man in arena-issue mail came up behind her.  "Not yet, Gate Witch."  He
added something that the people on the steps couldn't hear, but the Dwarven woman
grinned and punched him on the arm.
     The man in the doorway reclaimed their attention, saying, "Your princess would
be better served if the people around her asked for explanations and offered advice.
She would be wise to return to Xochithlan."
     "Are you threatening Princess Tirisha?" Adabemis or Balmador demanded.
     "No, I'm offering her sound advice.  It would be a good move for her to leave
Rodeki.  She has no place here."
     "It sounds like a threat to ME."  That was definitely Balmador, the more hostile
of the two personalities.
     "If you think in terms of threats," the man said, "all things sound like
     Balmador opened his mouth to make a retort, but She and Shirivien moved in on
him from either side, and Sue put a hand over his mouth.
     "Your advice may be good," she said, "but we have our orders."
     The man made a sort of half bow and stepped back, pulling the door closed behind
     From the balcony, Gate Witch said, "NOW can we drop things on them, John?"
     "I thought you were looking forward to fighting them in the halls," the man
replied.  "If you drop things on them now, they'll never make it into the halls.
Which might not be a bad thing, when one comes to think about it...."
     "Spoilsport!"  Both gladiators on the balcony withdrew, and pulled that door
shut behind them also.
     Rob A. Ree, whose many flaws did not include major stupidity, looked at the
closed door of the palace, and at the windows on either side, which were fifteen feet
above the ground in front of them and barred, and said, "Anybody got a pocket
battering ram?"
     "I thought we were supposed to be able to just walk in," Adabemis added.  "Now

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 492): WISPER of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 377): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 493): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 492): SUX0R of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 496): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 493): DIGGER WASP of FLAGG'S CHAMPIONS (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 488): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 479): SCOURGE of THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 478): KITTY CHOWDER of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 452): HALO 14 of BLIND HYPOCRISY (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 443): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 430): GATE WITCH of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 378): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 179): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 167): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 328): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 144): CONSTANTINE of AGELESS WONDER (Belyn, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 371): DOONE of FLAGG 16 from RODEKI (Flagg, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 492): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 377): RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 497): THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 493): THE DREIHDENS 2 (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 492): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 496): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 493): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 488): MEGAWARRIORS (Matrix, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 479): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 478): CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 452): KAMIKAZI (?, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 443): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 430): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 378): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 179): none
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 167): COLOUR GUARDS (Captain Crayola, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 328): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 144): none
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 371): LEGENDS OF STEELE (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 492): SUX0R of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 488): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 479): SCOURGE of THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.)
                            PAUL of SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
                (turn 478): WONDER BRA of THE GUARDIANS II (Guardian, mgr.)
                            BOOTER of BURN N' PILLAGE (Jolly, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 477): SONJA BLOODBANE of THE BLOODBANES (Stik, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Greetings, Niania.  I am sorry I haven't written a DM Column in a few turns but
I have been busy with writing for TOGS.  I am a bit surprised that Toofless is doing
better than Fierce; I think overall Fierce is better than Toofless in a scummy way.
One Brow has way over achieved and my new Troll, Oozoe will be making his debut after
the mail-in.
     Good day all.


                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  We now have a new top team for all of you guys 
to dogpile on.  BIG COUNTRY now holds the crown and they are betting they can keep 
it.  Hey everybody, watch out for SORRY JUNK, who flew up 37 points in the rankings 
after mashing FIERCE ONE-EYE like a melon.  Keep your eye on this beast.  Ya know, 
some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  ANALIRA was bested by BETTY and 
drops 10 points.  Going for the gusto and coming up with aught but bloody knuckles 
was RESURRECTION's JARCK, who was turned away from the Duelmastership by TOOFLESS.  
Can you believe they are paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the NIANIA arena.  Here's a 
song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad RESURRECTION?  Big bad RESURRECTION.  Big 
bad RESURRECTION.  NIANIA's afraid of the big bad RESURRECTION.  Tra la la la la!  
For those of you who like math, try this one:  RESURRECTION + Weapons That go Boom = 
BIG COUNTRY + Avoid City.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of ANALIRA, who 
was this week's most challenged warrior.  DESPAIR of DARK ANGELS had better have a 
good reason for challenging down 10 points in a challenge which he won.  I thought 
DESPAIR showed great skill and promise when he bested LUBAYA.  All right, so I slept 
through it!  Big deal!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  It's not often when you see a 16-10-0 warrior like FIERCE 
ONE-EYE kick the bucket.  I wonder if GLORY BOUND TROLLS will recover from the blow.  
Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh? 
     Well, there's the manager of the NIANIA giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), 
oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TOOFLESS 5103                22   4  0   109       GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SORRY JUNK 5161               9   4  1   117       BIG COUNTRY (593)
 ONE BROW 5101                12   2  0   114       GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)
 JARCK 5132                   14   7  0   101       RESURRECTION (570)
-BILLY 5153                   10   3  0   100       BIG COUNTRY (593)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BETTY 5107                   11   6  2    97       BIG COUNTRY (593)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANALIRA 5087                 14  21  1    77       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
-TOLDERST 5159                12   3  0    68       RESURRECTION (570)
 ABALONEA 5032                11  35  0    68       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
 YELLOW PIKE 5031             10  36  1    67       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WONDER BRA 5025               8   4  0    66       INTIMATE APPAREL (591)
-FORMIDABLE 5177               4   2  2    64       KNOT WHOLE (443)
 DESPAIR 5170                  5   1  0    59       DARK ANGELS (605)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NELLISTHA 5156               11  10  1    52       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
 LUBAYA 5126                  11  15  0    48       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKID MARK 5116                5   0  0    32       INTIMATE APPAREL (591)
 PROWESS 5155                  4  10  0    26       KNOT WHOLE (443)
-CHYLEYA 5225                  3   1  0    26       RESURRECTION (570)
-BRUTUS 5248                   3   0  0    25       BIG COUNTRY (593)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 J.J. 5247                     2   2  2    17       BIG COUNTRY (593)
-QUEMBY 5265                   1   1  0    15       RESURRECTION (570)
-XENOTH CLY 5266               1   1  0    11       RESURRECTION (570)
-BWA HA 3650                   1   2  0     7       KNOT WHOLE (443)
-ROSARIO 4893                  0   1  0     7       RATTLESNAKE (578)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CONVICTED THIEF 1      0  1 0   1                   J.J. 5247             378 NONE    
FIERCE ONE-EYE 5104   16 10 0 GLORY BOUND TROLL 599 SORRY JUNK 5161       378         
BLACK PANTIES 5121     0  1 0 INTIMATE APPAREL 591  HIGH ELF 19           378 NONE    
DAME 5122              0  1 0 INTIMATE APPAREL 591  MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     378 NONE    
TEDDY 5123             0  1 0 INTIMATE APPAREL 591  STONE GOLEM 26        378 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Tolderst -- That was NOT what I needed to keep my confidence up!  I work and I work
and I work and you don't even notice, and then when you DO notice, you just up and
cream me.  (sigh)  Good bit of fighting on your part, there at the end, I guess. --
Yellow Pike, unhappy but not unfair, well, not VERY unfair....

Despair -- Just call me a teaching fool. -- Lubaya

Toofless -- Congratulations yet again.  You're a mean piece of work, and definitely
too ready to make buttons out of me. -- Analira, not actually a button kind of
person, in case you didn't notice that!
P.S.  Okay, that sounded good, but I just didn't want to admit what I need is wind

Formidable -- Yep. -- Abalonea

Prowess -- You inspire me, sword-sister. -- Nellistha

Chylexa -- Bee bad bulley!  U half too git a eassy wind.  Sew U cum down 2 me.  Cuz I
knot 2 mart.  Shame on U bulley!  UR a cared girly.  If you scared say so.  Butt U
wil met ur matc sooon.  Bulley! -- J.J.

Fierce-One-Eye -- Sorry about your luck.  I was mad cause of your teammate One Brow.
I had to get back within range.  I liked the way you taught.  I will be gone for a
while.  But I will be back.  You do put up a good fight.  I can give credit when and
where it is due.  Glory Bound Trolls has my attention and respect. -- Billy

One Brow -- Good one, buddy.  Now I know why I am named Sorry Junk.  I suck.  My
manager says don't worry.  What a crock of it.  I fight better than this.  Just do me
a favor, beat Jarck down for me and my friend Betty.  Betty is special to me.
Congrats on your fantastic moves. -- Sorry Junk

Jarck -- Ha ha!  You won this time.  You won't win all the matches.  My manager said
don't sweat the small stuff, but I sweat everyting.  You made me look bad.  I'm gonna
talk to other warriors.  I may have to show some skin.  But I believe someone will
help me. -- Betty
P.S.  See you again real soon!

Abalonea -- I have a shiny John Deere.  John Deere green it is. -- Sorry Junk

Quemby -- You did pretty good.  I will give you that.  Just don't hate me for
winning.  I was hoping I learned more skills though.  Watch out for J.J.  He is a
sore loser.  He is coming for you for some reason.  He is such a jerk.  But I didn't
say it. -- Brutus

Quemby -- Iffy U knot afrad, I will C U this time.  Me not likea U. -- J.J.
P.S.  Mea last fights fore eye die soon.

Nellistha -- Even my superior "prow" couldn't eke out a 4th straight win against you.
You're good, honey. -- Prowess

Abalonea -- Ah, the luck of the dagger. -- Formidable

3 March 2004

     Mongo, aka Matt McIntosh and ex-Warden of the Dark Circle, is auctioning off his
entire collection of Duelmasters warriors and stables.  Don't miss out on this chance
to own some fantastic warriors!  There are ADM warriors available in every class from
Primus to Freshmen, as well as over a dozen Basic stables.
     Does a Slasher with +4 attack, +4 decisiveness, +3 initiative and +2 riposte
sound good?  How about a Lunger who received the benefit of a TC prize, has TVed
three times after graduating--and still hasn't maxed out his skills!?  How about a
Striker in the Freshmen class who has decisiveness for a favorite learn and the MAUL
for a favorite weapon!?
     Or perhaps you prefer playing in Basic.  Then how does a stable with four Adept
class warriors who have a combined record of 41-19-9 sound?  Or maybe a stable with
three 21-Will warriors?  Or perhaps a stable with four Initiates and a Rookie who
have a combined record of 23-6-1?
     The quality of the lots is excellent.  All you need to view and bid on the lots
is go to:
     If you want to be on the mailing list to receive regular updates on the auction,
just send an e-mail to JVMerlino@aol.com. Merlin, aka John Merlino and also an ex-
Warden of the Dark Circle, will be running this auction for me.  I just moved to New
Orleans and am likely currently stumbling around the French Quarter...because it's
Mardi Gras!  So I have named my auction in honor of this occasion.
     The auction will start on Saturday, March 13th, 2004, and will continue for
several weeks.  But you should get your bids in early if you want your best chance at
owning any of these fantastic warriors and stables.
     Many thanks to all for your interest and your bids,


5 March 2004
Style Masters Symposium
Hosted by Hammer

     The years have slipped by and many DM Managers have come and gone since the last
Hammer's Handbook was compiled and printed.
     There is now a stirring within me to begin writing and editing yet another
Handbook with a distribution date sometime in 2005.
     This Handbook will be made available via Email with a possibility of burning the
info to a CD for distribution.
     Special arrangements will be made to provide the information via printed page to
those contributors who are serving sentences behind bars.
     The working title of this new Handbook is "Style Masters Symposium Hosted by
     Distribution of this Handbook is projected to be MAINLY for those DM Managers
who contribute information/articles to Hammer by June 2004.
     Informative and entertaining articles should focus on insights regarding Any or
All 10 Style Masters for both the Basic and ADM arenas as well as Tourney
     Articles focusing on Weapons/Armor are also encouraged for inclusion.
     Whether you are a Newbie Manager without a clue or a Jaded Veteran; everyone has
discovered something about this gaming experience that is both Insightful and
     Email Your Articles to HammerDM@fastermail.com or send them via Diplo to either
Flower Hammerz (372) in DM 28 or Casino Hammerz (576) in DM 33.
     Length and Content of the Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer will be
Determined by the Quality and Quantity of Contributors Combined with the Literary
Efforts of Hammer who is currently overseas for an indefinite period of time.
     Articles Contributed for this Project should be of Sufficient Length and Content
to Warrant being Included to Receive the Finished Document when Hammer has completed
this literary work to His satisfaction.
     Managers contributing articles are also requested to include a DM Bio of
Themselves along with any Notable Successes and/or Failures during Their DM Career in
Basic, ADM and/or Tourney Play.
     A listing of Active Stables would also be Helpful for Anyone Seeking to Reply to
Contributors via Diplo, Email or Snailmail.
     May Your Blades Be Sharp And Your Wits Sharper!
     -- Hammer of Flower Hammerz (372) DM 28 and Casino Hammerz (576) DM 33

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM

36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.

mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BLACK PANTIES was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DAME was slaughtered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
TEDDY was narrowly killed by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
SORRY JUNK slaughtered FIERCE ONE-EYE in a 3 minute gory mismatched Challenge brawl.
BETTY overpowered ANALIRA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
DESPAIR bested LUBAYA in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
TOOFLESS luckily beat JARCK in a crowd pleasing 4 minute veteran's Title struggle.
ONE BROW handily defeated ABALONEA in a 1 minute uneven fight.
YELLOW PIKE was vanquished by WONDER BRA in a 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
NELLISTHA overpowered PROWESS in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
SKID MARK overpowered OSKSI NOBLE in a tiring 7 minute uneven match.
J.J. assassinated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    21 -  12 -  4      64  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -   7 -  0      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         WALL OF STEEL     24 -  15 -  0      62  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         TOTAL PARRY       22 -  15 -  0      59  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -   7 -  2      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     4 -   8 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   7 -  1      30  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  11 -  1      21  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         AIMED BLOW         1 -   6 -  0      14  |

Turn 378 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      TOOFLESS 5103              22   4  0  109 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)
LUNGING ATTACK   SORRY JUNK 5161             9   4  1  117 BIG COUNTRY (593)
WALL OF STEEL    ONE BROW 5101              12   2  0  114 GLORY BOUND TROLLS (599)
STRIKING ATTACK  DESPAIR 5170                5   1  0   59 DARK ANGELS (605)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ANALIRA 5087.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was JARCK 5132.  The ten other most popular fighters were SORRY JUNK 5161, TEDDY 
5123, WONDER BRA 5025, NELLISTHA 5156, DESPAIR 5170, TOOFLESS 5103, ONE BROW 5101, 
DAME 5122, FIERCE ONE-EYE 5104, and BETTY 5107.

The least popular fighter this week was SKID MARK 5116.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were YELLOW PIKE 5031, LUBAYA 5126, ANALIRA 5087, BLACK PANTIES 5121, J.J. 
5247, PROWESS 5155, ABALONEA 5032, BETTY 5107, FIERCE ONE-EYE 5104, and DAME 5122.


     For those of you who keep track of such things, 14 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament:

                           ABE SIMPSON (9-4453) SPRINGFIELD 
                            PB-LEAD (23-4385) ROCK-ETTS IV 
                      RATTLESNAKE SHAKE (60-4242) METAL MELTDOWN 
                            CHIP (60-4413) RESCUE RANGERS 
                           SLAKE (82-12993) WORD OF THE DAY 
                          DIS-COMBOBULATE (63-2222) DIS-TEAM 
                        RETARD (68-7501) POLITICALLYINCORRECT 
                           DARKSIDE (22-2714) LOST SOULS 1 
                      ZHARRA TYL MEDAN (40-2586) SUPERIOR FORCES 
                         SMOOGIE (82-2247) STREET PIZZAD III 
                             ARATHEA (13-3318) THE ELITE 
                          PX (82-14364) SUPERIOR FORCES 1203 
                       MIKE, POWERFUL (82-7051) MIKE THE HUNTER 
                          DIS-FUNCTIONAL (63-2223) DIS-TEAM 

                                          -- Green Eyes