Date   : 04/19/2010    Duedate: 05/01/2010


DM-2    TURN-530

This Weeks Top Honors


042909A (659)
(2-5609) [12-2-0,119]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

042909A (659)                  REPTILES 'R' US (331)
(2-5609) [12-2-0,119]          (2-2416) [3-5-0,24]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LORINDA                        TURTELLINNI
THE GOLDEN FISH (147)          REPTILES 'R' US (331)
(2-5603) [11-9-0,65]           (2-2416) [3-5-0,24]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE GOLDEN FISH (147)       33
2. 042909A (659)               11      042909A (659)
3. HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)      6      Unchartered Team
4. REPTILES 'R' US (331)        5
5. PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (657)    0      REPTILES 'R' US (331)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 042909A (659)             30  10  1 75.0   1/ 1 THE GOLDEN FISH (147)    11  3 0
 2- 2 PEANUT BUTTER FUDG (657)  73  44  1 62.4   2/ 2 042909A (659)             6  3 0
 3/ 3 THE GOLDEN FISH (147)    753 818 23 47.9   3/ 4 HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)   5 10 1
 4/ 4 HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)   33  42  7 44.0   4- 3 PEANUT BUTTER FUDG (657)  2  1 0
 5/ 6*REPTILES 'R' US (331)      3  14  0 17.6   5/ 6*REPTILES 'R' US (331)     0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     Brandy stood straight-backed with her arm fully extended, making the longsword a
perfect extension of herself, like they were one.  Her chin was turned up just enough
to put a proud edge on her features.  The tip of the sword jiggled very slightly with
each fiery beat of her heart.
     On the bad side of the sword (that would be the pointy end to you non-
gladiators), the obnoxious fan stood pinned in a corner.  His chin was also raised,
but it gave a frightened edge to his posture as he tried to keep the blade from
piercing his skin.  He was desperately trying to become one with the wall, hopefully
silent, unobtrusive, and unnoticed.
     "Oh, Gav--y!" Lilly called in a sing-song voice.  She happened to catch the
action and now leaned in a doorway with her arms crossed.
     "I have HAD IT with your crap, Fred or Bud or whatever your name is," Brandy
growled with clenched teeth.
     Gavin arrived upstairs, preceded by his heavy clomping, as if he were much
larger than the pint-sized manager he was.  He stopped at the scene and raised his
eyebrows slightly in question.
     Brandy pulled her gaze from the obnoxious fan's frightened expression to her
manager.  "That's IT, I've had enough, Gavin.  I refuse to be on a team any longer
with this... this shallow, immature, disgusting man.  In fact, I don't want to be in
the same city as him.  If I have to hear one more frat-boy fart joke or suffer
through another day of his childish pranks, I'm gonna kill him.  I MEAN it, Gavin."
     She pouted in her tirade, eyes flashing, as her prey had begun to try and slink
away.  Her back arched as she redoubled her efforts with emphasis, putting the blade
against the quivering man's under-chin and jamming him back into complacence.  "Oh,
do try me."
     "Whoa."  Gavin put his hands up in a peaceful gesture.  He stepped forward and
eased his hand over her wrist.  "Let's not get too hasty."
     Brandy allowed Gavin to lower her sword.  Yielding, she made a sound of disgust
and slammed it into its scabbard.
     Gavin sighed in relief.  "Okay, what's going on?"
     "Let's see," she snapped, putting her hands on her hips.  "First, I come in my
room to go to bed and he's hiding under the covers in MY bed."
     The man, loosening up now, chortled.  "You shoulda seen her face.  Scared her
half to death."
     Brandy glared and continued.  "Then my under clothes ended up down stairs,
decorating the place."
     "Those were yours?" Gavin asked.
     "Yes," she said, icily continuing.  "Plus eating spaghetti through his nose,
catching his own spit--"
     "Don't forget he glued Ori's helmet to his head.  Ooh! and remember he replaced
your sword with a dagger in the scabbard instead?  And the perfume--"
     Brandy cut Lilly off with a wave of her hand.  "And then, recently, he says,
'pull my finger', and when I tell him no, he asks me to if I'll smell it and see if
it's mine."
     Gavin coughed politely, trying not to grin.
     "So, was it?" Lilly asked, dead-pan.
     Gavin couldn't take it and burst into laughter and then tears.  Finally, though,
he sobered.  "Where's Ori?"
     "Down at the Apothecary getting unstuck," Lilly chimed with a smile.
     "So, what are you going to do about this, Gavin?" Brandy demanded.
Gavin tapped his chin in thought, then narrowed his eyes at Lilly.  He noted nothing
had happened to her, and she seemed quite amused.  He wondered if she might be behind
this as well.  In fact, he was pretty sure now that he thought about it.  Of course,
her having forty points on Brandy might have something to do with Brandy's mood, too.
     "Look, Ted," Gavin said, turning to the man.  "If you value parts of your
anatomy, I'd quit pulling pranks on your team.  In fact, how about if you and Lilly
take the week off and bother the other teams."
     Brandy gave a terse curtsey and stormed off.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 647): BLACK of FULL SPECTRUM (Jester, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 529): IGNORANT BAUD of 042709A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 653): VIRTUAL REALITY of STATE OF MIND (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 624): PETE MASTIFF of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 648): MOSQUITO of BLOOD SUCKERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 643): EVE AND EMMA of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 651): CAJETAN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 636): HAGAR BLUETOOTH of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 636): GRANDADDY SMURF of BEN'S BAZAAR (Gentleben, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 605): EDDIE INCHER of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 598): KARTIKAYA of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 584): COLDFISHFINGER of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 535): CARGO of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 255): VARDIN ABEQ of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 246): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 481): JERANS LA'ROC of MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 222): TORANS ULRIK of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 529): GATEWAY of ATTACK OF THE CLONES (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 647): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 529): THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 653): ASTRAL KIN (Arcane Kid, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 624): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 648): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 643): PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 651): BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 636): ABOMINATION (Chase, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 637): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 636): SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 605): BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 598): JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 271): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 584): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 535): QUESTIONS (?, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 255): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 246): WHAT'S IN A NAME (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 481): DETHKLOT (?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 222): LHC (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 529) 0729205R et al (The Muffin Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 529): GROND of THE GOLDEN FISH (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 528): BRANDY PINKERTON of PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (Gavin Rule, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 650): SALTILLA of BEACH BABES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 636): ADAM of SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 634): VOLLEYBALL of SPORTS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 583): BIG DISAPPOINTMENT of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 535): SHALAITHA of DARK HORSEMENT (Jorja, mgr.)
                 (turn 534): SHOGGOTH of RAISING R'LYEH (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 246): GISBORNE of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, NIANIA?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed 
to see LORINDA win a fight and gain 13 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, LORINDA beat 
TWO-PIECE TOENAIL and TWO-PIECE TOENAIL lost 8 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  
And if variety is the spice of life, NIANIA may be getting bland, as IGNORANT BAUD 
stays top dog in the city.  Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do 
you think some of these guys win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
What's the big D?  HISTORICAL WUSSES was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily 
livered... grumble... mumble... curse...  And it looks like 042909A avoided them the 
most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  Ooh, I'm 
frightfully impressed, DESMOND TUTU was this turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch 
that ego swell, sports fans.   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for NIANIA's 
morgue.  More variety.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is 
developing these kinds of weapons?   
     There's got to be a better place in NIANIA to get a drink than Jim's Tap Room!  
Any suggestions?  Just wait 'till next time I show up here, I won't be so nice!  So 
nyaaah!  I see the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IGNORANT BAUD 5609           12   2  0   119       042909A (659)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HORMONAL GROWTH 5534         10   2  0   121       WIDE WORLD OF... (653)
-LILLY PEPPER 5564            15   8  0   102       PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (657)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-EIO YUE 5568                 14  10  0    76       PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (657)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LORINDA 5603                 11   9  0    65       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IMMANUEL KANT 5614            7   8  2    53       HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)
 AMBEERDEXTROUS 5618           9   2  0    45       042909A (659)
 HELENADERE 5650               5   0  1    40       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
 TWO-PIECE TOENAIL 5627        7   2  1    39       042909A (659)
 SESKERINTH 5638               5   3  0    38       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
 ENRKO FERMI 5613              9   6  2    35       HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BOLD MR. WASABI 5622          2   0  0    33       042909A (659)
 JEAN PAUL SATRE 5612          6   9  1    29       HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)
 DESMOND TUTU 5610             6   9  1    28       HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)
 GHANDI 5611                   5  10  1    26       HISTORICAL WUSSES (660)
 TURTELLINNI 2416              3   5  0    24       REPTILES 'R' US (331)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-OBNOXIOUS FAN 5651            2   0  0    23       PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (657)
 HARKRANZ 5658                 2   0  0    20       THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
-ORI ONYX 5620                 3   2  0    12       PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE (657)
-SLITHER N' COIL 5621          0   2  0     2       REPTILES 'R' US (331)
-AL E. GATOR 2414              0   1  0     1       REPTILES 'R' US (331)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Huh.  How do you like that?  I wanted to challenge Ambeerdestrous but the down
challenge seemed against my usual standards.  Then, on the same turn, he challenges
my fighter Brandy.  What are the chances?  Odd strategy, Muffin Man.  I'd love to
pick your brain on that one. -- Gavin

Ignorant Baud -- Well done, though I must enforce, that first shot was a doozy!  Too
bad I missed.  Very well done. -- Eio the Sore

We won't be able to join the tourney this time.  It's unlikely we'd have any luck in
it anyhow.  Seeing as we are in the negative on our account (the lack of recent
awards) I'm afraid we'll be absent a turn or so.  Good luck until we meet on the
sands and enjoy the stories. -- Gavin

AFter a long wait, I get to graduate.  I think I should have gone before my brother.
What gives?  Anyway, at least I was spared the embarassment of going after Lilly.
Maybe I'll see you there, Grond?  One more fight. -- Brandy <3

Ignorant Baud -- So, as a "going to graduate" present, I get let off doing the
column?  Works for me.  I was having trouble coming up with things to say. -- Grond

Ambeerdextrous -- Too much beer is not always a good thing. -- Lorinda

Desmond Tutu -- I snicker and snort.  You look ridiculous. -- Helenadere

Ghandi -- It seems unnecessarily something or other that you should try to live up to
your team name of "wusses."  Not that I actually MIND.... -- Seskerinth

Ah.  This "Convicted Thief" is easy, isn't he?  Am I correct in guessing that the
next opponent I face will not be? -- Harkranz

Gavin Rule -- I'm not sure you'll receive this newsletter, so I'm sending a letter,
probably some time this week, unless I get buried under the avalanch of "things to be
done this week," a category which has become surprisingly large.  It will include the
stuff you asked after. -- Jorja
P.S.  It doesn't do any good to call for italics, bold face, or underlining in the
team spotlights.  The printing program does not support these refinements.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TURTELLINNI was bested by DESMOND TUTU in a 2 minute bloody Challenge fight.
IGNORANT BAUD viciously subdued GROND in a action packed 1 minute brutal Title battle.
ENRKO FERMI was defeated by AMBEERDEXTROUS in a 3 minute duel.
TWO-PIECE TOENAIL was devastated by LORINDA in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
HELENADERE savagely defeated JEAN PAUL SATRE in a 3 minute match.
SESKERINTH defeated GHANDI in a 2 minute struggle.
IMMANUEL KANT overpowered FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
HARKRANZ overpowered PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute uneven melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        30 -  16 -  3      65  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         LUNGING ATTACK    12 -   8 -  0      60  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK    16 -  11 -  1      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   13 -  12 -  0      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY        2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL      6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  12 -  1      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   9 -  1      31  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 530 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         5  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   IGNORANT BAUD 5609         12   2  0  119 042909A (659)
WALL OF STEEL    LORINDA 5603               11   9  0   65 THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
AIMED BLOW       AMBEERDEXTROUS 5618         9   2  0   45 042909A (659)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    HELENADERE 5650             5   0  1   40 THE GOLDEN FISH (147)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LORINDA 5603.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TURTELLINNI 2416.  The ten other most popular fighters were SESKERINTH 5638, 
5618, LORINDA 5603, JEAN PAUL SATRE 5612, DESMOND TUTU 5610, and HARKRANZ 5658.

The least popular fighter this week was TWO-PIECE TOENAIL 5627.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were IMMANUEL KANT 5614, HARKRANZ 5658, DESMOND TUTU 5610, JEAN PAUL 
FERMI 5613, and IGNORANT BAUD 5609.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

GROND (2-5540) THE GOLDEN FISH (147)


     For those of you who keep track of such things, 4 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.  

                 EUGENE FLUCKY (82-41642) of MEDAL OF HONOR 30 (6955)
                             FGC (47-6648) of KAOS (695)
                  PRISONER B91 (82-53433) of DUNGEON CELL B9 (9014)
                   PRISONER 0381 82-42371 of DUNGEON CELL 77 (7085)

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes