Date   : 08/05/2010    Duedate: 08/18/2010


DM-3    TURN-661

This Weeks Top Honors


(3-6956) [18-5-1,105]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(3-6956) [18-5-1,105]          (3-5987) [2-0-1,42]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

STATE OF MIND (245)            GENERATION X (416)
(3-6974) [10-6-0,95]           (3-6987) [9-8-1,90]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THICK SKULL (546)           45
2. STL RAD (602)               37      IRATE FORMATIONS (633)
3. IRATE FORMATIONS (633)      30      Unchartered Team
4. DREAMS OF KADATH (635)      29
5. GENERATION X (416)          20      THICK SKULL (546)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 IRATE FORMATIONS (633)    77  16  2 82.8   1/ 1 IRATE FORMATIONS (633)    9  0 0
 2- 2*POISON ELEMENTS (641)      9   6  0 60.0   2/ 2 GAMES LIBRARY (340)       7  8 0
 3- 3 PASTA (616)               94  83  7 53.1   3/ 4 GENERATION X (416)        6  5 1
 4/ 4 ASTRAL KIN (230)         322 308 27 51.1   4/ 6 ASTRAL KIN (230)          6  9 0
 5/ 6 STL RAD (602)             25  24  1 51.0   5/11*THICK SKULL (546)         5  5 1
 6/11*THICK SKULL (546)          5   5  1 50.0   6/ 3 STATE OF MIND (245)       5  9 2
 7/ 5 GENERATION X (416)       144 150 16 49.0   7/ 8 DREAMS OF KADATH (635)    4  8 0
 8/ 7 STATE OF MIND (245)      113 125 11 47.5   8/10 STL RAD (602)             3  1 1
 9/ 8 DREAMS OF KADATH (635)    39  45  2 46.4   9- 5*POISON ELEMENTS (641)     3  2 0
10/ 9 GAMES LIBRARY (340)      690 960 21 41.8  10- 7 PASTA (616)               2  3 0
11/10*LONG LOST ASYLUM (240)     4  12  1 25.0  11/ 9*LONG LOST ASYLUM (240)    1  5 0
12-12*THE KILLER HORDE (61)      0   1  0  0.0  12-12*THE KILLER HORDE (61)     0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                                 The Goodbye Party

     At the southwestern outskirts of the port of Oskan, about five kilometers north
of Osksi proper, a squat tower looms over the cobbled road. More than anything else,
it resembles a child's first successful attempt at stacking blocks. The rough
brickwork has been crudely smoothed over with what was once white plaster.  There is
no other entrance other than the heavily reinforced door; its sides are slick and
treacherous.  Attempts to scale the outside have proven to be suicidal.
     Its broad roof encompasses a wide platform, known generally to the locals as
'the Buzzards' Roost', or 'the Vulture's View'.  It has an excellent view of Oskan
Bay and the surrounding area.  On a clear day one can discern sections of Osksi's
tall aqueducts, and her wide sweeping stairways and colorful foot traffic.  Various
gladiator teams occasionally cluster to toast fallen comrades at 'the View' after the
last scheduled night fights.  For some teams it's traditional to stay up all night to
watch their funeral pyres burn themselves out on the brick platforms overlooking the
sprawling ships in the harbor.
     This evening on the Roost, the Astral Kin gladiators clustered together and
stared out over the harbor.  The sun was poised to drop over their left horizon; on
their right the arena officials were poised to light the funeral pyres.  Earlier that
afternoon, the bodies of the unfortunate were laid in armored state atop carefully
layered stacks of oil-soaked cords of wood.  The Kin had filed by and made the
correct gestures and comments.  One had paused and laid a budding rose on the
scabbard of a small warrior.
     Once through the procession, the Kin retired to the Roost and kept a somewhat
somber, if not sober, vigil. The platform was more than wide enough for the five of
them to cluster around a gigantic keg comfortably.  The keg was almost as tall as the
shortest gladiator, and too wide for any of them to put their arms around it and
clasp their hands.  The words 'Osksi's Best' and 'Morningstar' were stenciled across
its broad side.  Still, no one breached the keg or even acknowledged its presence.
The team sat on wide benches and fiddled restlessly with their hands.
      The Astral Kin wore matching leather armor, with shreds of chainmail fastened
fashionably at the shoulders. The team's insignia was blazoned in glittering gold
upon their breastplates; the fighters' names were embossed below.  They talked and
joked in forced cheerful tones. The sixth figure stood with his back at the railing.
He watched the others openly yet without expression.  He wore neither armor nor
weapon.  The others treated him the same as the monstrous keg -- studiously
pretending he wasn't there.
     Gamma K Grad crossed her leather-clad legs and rested her feet on the railing.
Beside her, Vector Unstable looked seaward, into the darkening horizon, and inhaled
deeply from the salty air.  They both frowned at a gigantic youth, who had obtained
the habit of leaning dangerously over the wide railing and spitting down at the
occasional passerby.  Galilea, her back to the rail, recklessly tilted her bench at a
precarious angle with all the nonchalance expected of a fighter who faces death at
least twice a month.  Auriga Nebula stared out at the ships; he seemed captivated by
the gaudy emblems vividly painted on their hulls.
     Standing at the railing the Arcane Kid, wearing a loose white shirt and black
velvet pantaloons, rubbed his manicured hands together and eyed them all silently.
Some watched the gulls wheel and cry out as they dived fearlessly through the ships'
rigging. Some stared out at the deepening sunset.
     "You're probably wondering why I'm here," smiled the Kid.  His eyes swept the
group, but none of the fighters met his glance.  In fact, they acted as if Arcane
hadn't said anything at all.  "You might be wondering where Havoc is, too.  He's not
dead and he hasn't abandoned you...."
     The gladiators finally focused their attention on the Kid, who paused
     "It's new to some of you," smiled Arcane.  "It's sort of a 'Goodbye & Welcoming'
Party... two social events wrapped up into one... for the sake of convenience, I
confess."  His smile broadened, but he met only an icy stare from Vector.  The other
gladiators traded glances with each other for a few silent moments.  Finally, Galilea
raised her hand.
     "Yes?" asked the Kid.
     "Uh, why exactly are we here again?  I mean, yeah, I understand about...." She
gestured toward the waiting pyres.  "But I just got here, y'know.  I don't mean any
disrespect, but... why?"
     The Kid tilted his head and gave Galilea a speculative look.  "Hhmm. Would you
mind answering her, Vector?"
     "Yeah," Vector said.  He stood slowly, then suddenly lanced out his booted foot
in a quick kick to the side of Galilea's head.  She toppled off her bench and lay
sprawled on the floor.  She seemed more surprised than hurt.  The other gladiators
     "We're Kin," rasped Vector as he leaned over her.  "We live together; eat and
drink together; we cheer for each other; we bind up our wounds together." Vector's
eyes were hard and distant.  "We're family."
     "Thanks, Dad," murmured Auriga under his breath as he cast a quick glance at the
     "One of our own has passed through a bloody door," shrugged Arcane, "and we're
here to see her through another.  It's just as simple as... that."  His eyes took on
an eerie glow, drinking in their faces.  Nobody looked away, but a couple of veteran
fighters shuddered involuntarily.
     "Take it as you will."  The Kid lifted his hands, palms up, and nodded to them
all.  The gladiators numbly rose to their feet.
     Galilea sat up; her head flopped forward and face contracted.  Her eyes lost
their frantic look and took on a fierce aspect.  Vector met her look steadily for a
few quiet moments before bending slightly and offering his hand.  A faint smile
briefly touched her lips before Galilea grasped his wrist.  She was hauled to her
feet in a powerful jerk that made her wince.  Vector's eyes were as bright and
unblinking as glass.  He released her arm and stepped back smoothly, still staring at
her.  Galilea turned to face Arcane, who was gesturing them all to approach the
     "Vector's been here the longest," said the Kid in a soothing voice.  "He's lost
a lot of friends."
     "I - I didn't mean any disres-" began Galilea
     "Never mind that now," interjected Arcane with a wave of his slender hand.  "The
pyres are being lit."
     The gladiators clustered together loosely and stared quietly over the railing.
The scarlet and purple glow from one horizon was met with the first few stars peeping
along the opposite horizon.  Someone somewhere signaled; the arena officials dipped
their flaming torches to the packed wood.  The WOOSH of the pyres as the wood ignited
reached them, even from their perch  atop the tower. The flames from leapt and
twisted into the darkening sky.  Sparks spiraled amongst the gulls as they cried out
and flew in circles throughout the harbor.
     "Vector..." The Kid gestured again.  Vector Unstable nodded and turned toward
the keg.  He picked up a spigot that had been lying on the bench next to him, and
placed the tip of it carefully at a corked spot on the lower face of the barrel.  He
held it in place with his left hand.  Drawing back his brawny right arm, Vector
muttered something unintelligible, and then slammed his palm against the spigot.  It
popped into the barrel smoothly.
     "Well done!" clapped the Kid.  "You, new girl-"
     "Uh, Galilea, sir," muttered Galilea nervously.
     "Yes, yes. Galilea.  Charming name."  The Kid gestured again.  "Fill everyone's
glass, will you, dear?"
     "Tankards, actually," whispered Auriga to himself.
     Galilea moved uncertainly to the monstrous keg.  Vector made a small mock bow
and stepped aside for her.  As she worked the spigot she sniffed appreciatively.  It
was an amber-colored ale, not too frothy, and somehow kept ice-cold.  Vector noticed
her surprise, and chuckled.
     "Don't ask too many questions, girl.  Just pass 'em out."  And she did.
     When they were all served the Kid raised his.  "I know this may seem a little
corny to some of you.  Please indulge me in a small toast."
     His eyes took on a softer glow (or maybe, thought Galilea, they always burned
with their own light, but it was only made obvious by the darkening world around
them).  Auriga wondered briefly if anyone had thought ahead and brought a few
lanterns. Assuming they were going to empty this giant tub - and he was willing to
try --it would certainly take them all night to do it.
     "Repeat after me," Arcane said.  The others raised their drinks.

          Friendships new and friendships past --
          It's only our lives that do not last.
          For we dance with Death in a sandy place;
          We know his smell, if not his face.
          We brush his side when he slithers by
          We hear him curse us and we reply:
          We are Kin! We are Kin! Astral Kin!!"

     The Kid and Vector took a drink a this point.  The others followed suite.
     "Not too bad," Arcane smiled, setting his tankard down on a bench. "You really
should cheer louder at the end, though."
     "Oh, hell no!" muttered Auriga Nebula.
     "I leave you to practice," Arcane said.  He turned and gave the funeral pyres
another look.  The flames roared; ribbons of red reached almost as high as their
perch.  The Kid offered a brief salute, then he nodded to the others and left them to
themselves.  At first, even Auriga had nothing to say.
     "Hey, Vector!" Auriga waved his empty at the keg.  "Let's practice some more!"
The others laughed.
     "That's the general idea," nodded Vector, smiling.  His eyes were bright and
wet.  "We are Kin," he whispered to himself as he bent to the spigot.  "We are KIN."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 654): JOY of MIGHTY MORALS II (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 537): TWO-PIECE TOENAIL of 042709A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 660): PERFECT DRUG of IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 631): RED HAMMER of DOGS OF WAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 655): SONNY of TECHNOLOGY (Otto X Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 650): NOT-A-NUT JONES of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 659): HARPOON of BUNION SQUAD (Obregon, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 643): THE GRINCH of ABOMINATIONS (Chase, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 645): ERIN GO BRAGH of RYAN'S HENCHMEN (Leprechaun, mgr)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 644): SIDEWINDER of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 612): ELLIRIN IMBRAY of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 600): KARTIKAYA of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 275): RATA of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 592): STICKY FINGERS of DUNGEON CELL (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 543): CARGO of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 259): SAMILDAR of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 250): I'M A BASHER of BASHAHOLICS ANON (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 226): HOCKEY of GAMES CRIP PLAYS (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 536): COOLER of STYROFOAM (Jolly, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 654): MIGHTY MORALS II (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 537): 042709A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 660): IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 631): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 655): TECHNOLOGY (Otto X Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 650): PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 659): BONSUR LONG NAMES (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 643): BACON MAKIN' (?, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 645): THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 644): OMINOUS REIGN (Archaic Elf, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 612): MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 600): JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 375): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 592): I CAN'T BRUSH YOU (?, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 543): DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 259): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 250): VIRUS (?, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 488): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 226): STATES (?, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 536) STREET PIZZA et al (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 653): VAN DERMINT of BOOZE (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 536): IGNORANT BAUD of 042709A (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 660): PERFECT DRUG of IRATE FORMATIONS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 659): CAJETAN of SENTINELS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 644): BLAKSUNN of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
               (turn 643): WALLACE of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 612): ELLIRIN IMBRAY of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
              (turn 611): SHERRY of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 600): KARTIKAYA of JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
                  (turn 599): GURU GNU of HILLTOP GURUS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 591): COLDFISHFINGER of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 543): CARGO of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 259): SAMILDAR of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  A stormcloud is brewing over the POISON 
ELEMENTS guildhouse.  Rumor says any more weeks like this ones 0-0-0 may send the 
team to the Dark Arena.  Coming up with a solid 4-1-0 outing, THICK SKULL has 
advanced 6 places in the rankings.  Hey everybody, watch out for POOL, who flew up 21 
points in the rankings after mashing OF ALHAZRED like a melon.  Keep your eye on this 
beast.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  AURIGA NEBULA 
was beat by IXY and drops 12 points.  Our battling duelmaster PERFECT DRUG has 
managed to hold the title, fending off VECTOR UNSTABLE's none too subtle advances.  
Better luck next time, ASTRAL KIN.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an 
onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid GENERATION X, please raise you hand.  
Wow.  Does OSKSI really have that many liars?  For those of you who like math, try 
this one:  GENERATION X + Weapons That go Boom = STATE OF MIND + Avoid City.  And who 
is this OF ALHAZRED you ask, with 18 points and a 4-2-0 record.  Ooh, the tales I 
could tell!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Carrion Bird Cinematic Humor:  TV DINNER II:  THE REMATCH. 
For those of you who missed it, Death showed up, grabbed MENOLDRIN SKO by the ear and 
took him away to a place where he won't need a coat.  On a sad note, TV DINNER found 
an early retirement at the hands of FUNNY FARM FIEND this week.  I wonder what 
GENERATION X will be doing about it?  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will 
say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks.  Its been 
fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide 
Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CADILLAC DUNDEE 6956         18   5  1   105       IRATE FORMATIONS (633)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BOB THE INHALER 6928         22   4  1   103       IRATE FORMATIONS (633)
-DAT NGUYEN 6216              19  22  0    97       AMERICAN APPRAISAL (559)
 THE VOICE INSIDE 6974        10   6  0    95       STATE OF MIND (245)
 VECTOR UNSTABLE 6231         17  10  3    94       ASTRAL KIN (230)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COFFEE HOUSE POET 6987        9   8  1    90       GENERATION X (416)
-WHIRLING INSELBERG 6924       6   0  0    86       IRATE FORMATIONS (633)
 FALRONDIAL VOTH 6989         11   5  0    68       GAMES LIBRARY (340)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FUNNY FARM FIEND 6985         8   9  3    66       STATE OF MIND (245)
 COBBLESTONE 6633              8   6  1    66       STL RAD (602)
-ELBOWS 6979                   6   4  0    66       PASTA (616)
 KAREOKE KILLER 6972           9   9  1    57       GENERATION X (416)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PLUTONIUM 7035                3   0  0    56       POISON ELEMENTS (641)
 MEGA PIXEL 6995               7   1  0    54       GENERATION X (416)
-FINCH'S ART 6551              7   6  0    48       STL RAD (602)
 STONED IMMACULATE 6975       11   8  0    45       STATE OF MIND (245)
 ZOMBIE BAIT 6964              8   7  0    43       DREAMS OF KADATH (635)
-DIANE MACK 6435               5   5  0    42       AMERICAN APPRAISAL (559)
 BRAD 5987                     2   0  1    42       THICK SKULL (546)
 SKAEVOLOVIAN KOR 6970        10  10  1    41       GAMES LIBRARY (340)
-JEFF DUNKLE 6391              6   9  0    34       AMERICAN APPRAISAL (559)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ALEXANDER 2889                3   0  0    33       LONG LOST ASYLUM (240)
 SALDORINIVAN KIRO 6977        6  12  0    30       GAMES LIBRARY (340)
-CAVATELLI 7024                2   2  0    28       PASTA (616)
-ARSENIC 7032                  2   1  0    26       POISON ELEMENTS (641)
 POOL 6774                     1   1  0    26       STL RAD (602)
 DAEROMENZIAN VAL 7026         3   5  0    24       GAMES LIBRARY (340)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GAMMA K GRAD 7030             4   3  0    18       ASTRAL KIN (230)
 OF ALHAZRED 7025              4   2  0    18       DREAMS OF KADATH (635)
-ROTELLI 7028                  2   2  0    18       PASTA (616)
 IXY 7068                      1   0  0    17       THICK SKULL (546)
-GNOCCHI 7039                  2   2  0    16       PASTA (616)
-CESIUM 7033                   2   1  0    14       POISON ELEMENTS (641)
-CHLORINE 7031                 2   1  0    14       POISON ELEMENTS (641)
 GALILEA 7056                  3   1  0    13       ASTRAL KIN (230)
-RAY MORAN 6436                1   9  0    13       AMERICAN APPRAISAL (559)
-LASAGNA 7029                  1   3  0    11       PASTA (616)
-TANGORE 706                   0   1  0    11       THE KILLER HORDE (61)
 SOGGI 7070                    1   0  0    10       THICK SKULL (546)
 ULTHAR 7073                   1   0  0    10       DREAMS OF KADATH (635)
 SNOOZE BANDIT 7060            1   0  0    10       GENERATION X (416)
 ARTIFICIAL COURAGE 7062       1   1  0     8       STATE OF MIND (245)
 EXI 7069                      1   0  0     8       THICK SKULL (546)
 AURIGA NEBULA 7061            2   1  0     7       ASTRAL KIN (230)
-MORONA 7053                   1   1  1     5       LONG LOST ASYLUM (240)
 HUSTLERS AMBITION 7063        1   1  0     4       STATE OF MIND (245)
 BIG RED 7052                  0   3  0     3       LONG LOST ASYLUM (240)
-LITHIUM 7034                  0   3  0     3       POISON ELEMENTS (641)
 SWISH 7071                    0   1  0     1       ASTRAL KIN (230)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PRIMU 7067                    0   1  0     1       THICK SKULL (546)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DA BAIT 7072            0  1 0 DREAMS OF KADATH 635 BLACK ORC             661  NONE
IZ'CH 7010              2  9 0 DREAMS OF KADATH 635 MOUNTAIN TROLL        661  NONE
TCHO-TCHO 7057          0  1 0 DREAMS OF KADATH 635 MORONA 7053           658   
MENOLDRIN SKO 7009      7  7 1 GAMES LIBRARY 340    COBBLESTONE 6633      661   
TV DINNER 4910         19 30 6 GENERATION X 416     FUNNY FARM FIEND 6985 661   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Aggghhhh -- This sucks, team broken, losses mounting, DA calling.... -- Reaper
P.S.  RU Gods, now would be a good time to smile on me...

     What's in it for us? -- RUG #456473

Kareoke Killer -- I can't imagine why you're still alive.  You have the voice of an
ailing walrus and the volume of a fishwife.  Well, figuratively, since, as the saying
goes, the only fishwife of my acquaintance is a model of decorum.  Still, I do like
the way you lose fights.  For that, many thanks. -- Falrondial Voth

Mega Pixel -- May I call you Meg?  You're a kind of pixie, right?  But tall.  And
pushy. -- Skaevolovian Kor

Cobblestone -- How fortunate to meet you now, when I have this unbearable urge to
throw cobblestones at the forces of law and order.  I figure you can pummel them a
little extra when you land, yes? -- Menoldrin Sko

Gamma K Grad -- I don't know what this younger generation is coming to!  You get a
little education, and you go beating up on your elders.  Drat. -- Saldorinivan Kiro

Anybody care about a Convicted Thief? -- Daeromenzian Val

Our congratulations to Perfect Drug, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.
- Jorja and the Games Librarians.

26 July 2010
     Some managers have attempted to send personals and columns to hal, and hal has
been refusing to acknowledge their content.  I don't know what hal's problem is,
specifically, but for best success, send PLAIN TEXT (dot txt) in the body of the
email.  Not attachments.  Thank you. -- the Editor

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

IZ'CH was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DA BAIT was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 3 minute Dark Arena battle.
TV DINNER was assassinated by FUNNY FARM FIEND in a 1 minute Bloodfeud duel.
THE VOICE INSIDE was bested by CADILLAC DUNDEE in a 3 minute Challenge Title fight.
MEGA PIXEL was viciously subdued by FALRONDIAL VOTH in a 2 minute gory Challenge duel.
STONED IMMACULATE was viciously subdued by KAREOKE KILLER in a 1 minute match.
GAMMA K GRAD was overpowered by ZOMBIE BAIT in a 2 minute uneven Challenge melee.
POOL vanquished OF ALHAZRED in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
ARTIFICIAL COURAGE was savagely defeated by DAEROMENZIAN VAL in a 2 minute duel.
PERFECT DRUG overpowered VECTOR UNSTABLE in a popular 1 minute gory uneven match.
BOB THE INHALER subdued COFFEE HOUSE POET in a crowd pleasing 5 minute master's match.
COBBLESTONE butchered MENOLDRIN SKO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
SKAEVOLOVIAN KOR was handily defeated by AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute conflict.
SALDORINIVAN KIRO was vanquished by BRAD in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BIG RED lost to GALILEA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute novice's fray.
AURIGA NEBULA was bested by IXY in a exciting 1 minute novice's brawl.
HUSTLERS AMBITION was subdued by SOGGI in a 2 minute novice's bout.
SNOOZE BANDIT overpowered PRIMU in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
EXI bested CONVICTED THIEF in a 2 minute novice's contest.
SWISH was overpowered by ULTHAR in a 2 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL     23 -   9 -  2      72  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         AIMED BLOW        30 -  19 -  1      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -  10 -  1      58  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  13 -  1      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    27 -  30 -  2      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         BASHING ATTACK    23 -  29 -  4      44  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -  17 -  0      39  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  25 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         TOTAL PARRY        4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  11 -  0      27  |

Turn 661 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       CADILLAC DUNDEE 6956       18   5  1  105 IRATE FORMATIONS (633)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE VOICE INSIDE 6974      10   6  0   95 STATE OF MIND (245)
WALL OF STEEL    VECTOR UNSTABLE 6231       17  10  3   94 ASTRAL KIN (230)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    COFFEE HOUSE POET 6987      9   8  1   90 GENERATION X (416)
LUNGING ATTACK   COBBLESTONE 6633            8   6  1   66 STL RAD (602)
TOTAL PARRY      MEGA PIXEL 6995             7   1  0   54 GENERATION X (416)
PARRY-STRIKE     ZOMBIE BAIT 6964            8   7  0   43 DREAMS OF KADATH (635)
BASHING ATTACK   BRAD 5987                   2   0  1   42 THICK SKULL (546)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THE VOICE INSIDE 6974.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was COFFEE HOUSE POET 6987.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE 
6633, and IXY 7068.

The least popular fighter this week was EXI 7069.  The other ten least popular 
7061, GALILEA 7056, and SKAEVOLOVIAN KOR 6970.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: