DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 11/28/2006 Duedate: 12/11/2006 JHELUM ARENA DM-4 TURN-563 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS BORE-O-ME THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) (4-6216) [27-15-1,106] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader BORE-O-ME CORRA THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) SACRED CIRCLE (594) (4-6216) [27-15-1,106] (4-6330) [4-2-0,41] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite BORE-O-ME EPIMONIDAS THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) DOGS OF WAR (115) (4-6216) [27-15-1,106] (4-5683) [16-14-0,90] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. LUROCIANS Z2 (555) 42 2. F BALLS (523) 33 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) 3. DOGS OF WAR (115) 17 Unchartered Team 4. SACRED CIRCLE (594) 12 5. GLOOM AND DOOM (534) 0 SACRED CIRCLE (594) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) 122 87 4 58.4 1/ 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) 8 7 0 2- 2 GLOOM AND DOOM (534) 68 62 4 52.3 2/ 2 DOGS OF WAR (115) 7 8 1 3/ 3 F BALLS (523) 85 80 6 51.5 3/ 4 F BALLS (523) 5 1 0 4/ 4 DEATH SQUAD (468) 29 31 2 48.3 4/ 6 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) 4 2 0 5/ 5 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) 27 30 1 47.4 5/ 3 DEATH SQUAD (468) 4 9 0 6/ 0*SACRED CIRCLE (594) 11 14 0 44.0 6/ 0*SACRED CIRCLE (594) 1 0 0 7/ 6 DOGS OF WAR (115) 409 608 25 40.2 7- 5 GLOOM AND DOOM (534) 1 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank SPY REPORT If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of JHELUM brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too. Gee, I'm impressed, a 3-1-0 is nice, but don't get cocky, F BALLS, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates are proud. Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see ULTIMATE WRATH win a fight and gain 25 points, terribly. Tsk, tsk, MORDANT DESERTER beat FEAR-O-ME and FEAR-O-ME lost 9 points. You're breakin' my heart. And if variety is the spice of life, JHELUM may be getting bland, as BORE-O-ME stays top dog in the city. The Warty Toad, humph! I've tasted better ale at mortuaries. Where do they get this stuff? From JHELUM's trash dumps? My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start talking.' I loved that woman. What's the big D? DEATH SQUAD was the most avoided team? Bunch of lily livered... grumble... mumble... curse... And it looks like F BALLS avoided them the most this turn. What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me. Hmph. Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, CHALLON was this turn's most challenged warrior. Watch that ego swell, sports fans. Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals. I volunteer for JHELUM's morgue. More variety. We're all going to die in the end, so why worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that later? I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for an epee. Forgive me for writing with a dagger. Phlllt! Just had to do that before I leave the fine city of JHELUM. I feel much better now. Paste this one in your scrapbooks, you'll need the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BORE-O-ME 6216 27 15 1 106 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ARAGANT 6220 28 13 0 103 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) HOWARD 6289 16 13 1 98 DOGS OF WAR (115) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME EPIMONIDAS 5683 16 14 0 90 DOGS OF WAR (115) FOOT BALL 6305 10 1 0 90 F BALLS (523) FUZZ BALL 6299 7 4 0 90 F BALLS (523) GIMLET 6218 21 21 2 88 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) DECAPITATOR 4959 8 6 0 73 DEATH SQUAD (468) JIMMY CUSTER 6268 15 19 2 71 DOGS OF WAR (115) BAD TRANS OP 6312 7 3 1 68 DEATH SQUAD (468) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ULTIMATE PAIN 5774 10 3 0 66 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) HANNIBAL 5715 13 17 1 57 DOGS OF WAR (115) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CORRA 6330 4 2 0 41 SACRED CIRCLE (594) ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090 4 0 0 39 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) CHALLON 6304 7 15 0 36 DOGS OF WAR (115) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ULTIMATE WRATH 5775 2 2 0 31 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) SERIAL KILLER 4957 7 6 0 27 DEATH SQUAD (468) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -RIGOR MORTIS 6342 1 0 0 18 GLOOM AND DOOM (534) BAYONET BETTY 6346 3 4 0 13 DEATH SQUAD (468) -STILE 6329 3 2 0 12 SACRED CIRCLE (594) FAT BALL 6351 2 0 0 12 F BALLS (523) -INEPT 6194 3 1 0 10 GLOOM AND DOOM (534) -GIANETTA 6328 1 4 0 7 SACRED CIRCLE (594) -WRETCHED 6192 1 3 0 6 GLOOM AND DOOM (534) -MURDER 6338 1 1 0 4 GLOOM AND DOOM (534) FEAR-O-ME 6352 1 1 0 4 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) RIPPIN 6354 0 1 0 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? RODEO CLOWN 6347 2 3 1 DEATH SQUAD 468 HANNIBAL 5715 561 REVENGED FOUL BALL 6348 1 2 0 F BALLS 523 MOUNTAIN TROLL 598 563 NONE PERSONAL ADS Epimonidas -- My beady eye doesn't seem to have the same allure it once did. Genius is as Genius did is what mama Gimlet always said. -- Gimlet Forkball -- Good luck and good riddance! May we never see the shiny blade of your great axe oppose us again. You are surely destined for greatness. -- Elfwine of The Shallowship Dogs of War -- We shall miss you. Have you any slow friends we might play with in the Gray Havens? -- Scandalf & Legalass I wrote personals for this arena! I DID. Then I asked the inscriber to back up one step, just for a minute, and it ATE them. I don't know if I can STAND to do them over again, because I'm so annoyed! -- Nick, Dogs of War Abhorrence -- I had many things to say in appreciation of the six skills you passed on to me, but under the circumstances, I am not going to attempt to dredge them out of the void a second time. Just...thanks. -- Epimonidas P.S. And congratulations. Gimlet -- Dark Root won't help you. Stop drinking and wenching, and then MAYBE you can be HALF as good as I am. -- Howard Serial Killer -- Too much sugar. That weakens your fiber, not to mention your teeth. -- Jimmy Custer Bad Trans Op -- I'll pass, thanks just the same. -- Hannibal The Userous Merchant? Ugh. -- Challon 2 November 2006 I received a Gift Certificate from someone. I'm assuming it's for entry into the Turf War 5. Whoever sent this to me...please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks. 10 November 2006 The Quest of the Best has come to an end. Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest, wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners. Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the Quest. Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in the dust. Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink) Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions: 1) Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls 2) Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts! 3) Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts 4) D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen 5) Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation 6) Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders 7) D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights 8) D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights 9) The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion 10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their butt handed to them. Respect to All. Quest #1 host, Dark Knight Toker 14 November 2006 A Tale of Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution as told by Hammer the WordSmith SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the lingering wisps of memory from days gone by. From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation. Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence experience. The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times. Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities presently past and future. Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93. The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy. Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and gallantry before. Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike. History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes. Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and olden legends of times lost. [TIME JUMP] Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy, yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena! "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch Light!" Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81. Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind. From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by BLOODFEUDS and REPLACEMENT WARRIORS aplenty! Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn. Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand. Future events would lend themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for processing. Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM 28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!] Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena. After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then another group of hopefuls. After lengthy debate a third was cast aside. Deciding between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial Commission. The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney- worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager. [TIME JUMP] Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and now it was time to begin their training. The paperwork had been dispatched for registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which preparation was paramount! Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney Arena. Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red! Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No- Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly Expected!] Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his mind! When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night. These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had they fallen into the possession of most other managers! Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney Arena!] Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!] Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace! [TIME JUMP] Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting! Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81 [recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon graduation!] The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS stable managed by Sweety Pie. Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena! Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission. Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus] had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE. Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No- Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission. Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari! Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION. Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm. Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf. Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with GRIFFONRAWL MMA. Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!] Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!] Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in thought!] Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena. COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as to their intentions. Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was anybody's guess at the present time!] Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None! HAMMER WAS UNDERSTANDABLY ENTHUSED BEYOND MEASURE BECAUSE the No-Tourney Arena had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by! JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!] "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper" Hammer Minister of War LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS FOUL BALL was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. BORE-O-ME vanquished JIMMY CUSTER in a 1 minute uneven Title battle. ARAGANT subdued EPIMONIDAS in a 3 minute expert's fight. FOOT BALL devastated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute one-sided contest. FUZZ BALL overpowered GIMLET in a 1 minute mismatched match. HOWARD devastated DECAPITATOR in a 1 minute one-sided duel. BAD TRANS OP devastated CHALLON in a 1 minute mismatched match. HANNIBAL was handily defeated by ULTIMATE PAIN in a 1 minute uneven fight. CORRA won victory over AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 2 minute gruesome duel. SERIAL KILLER was vanquished by ULTIMATE WRATH in a 1 minute uneven fight. ULTIMATE HOTTY vanquished BAYONET BETTY in a 1 minute one-sided fight. FEAR-O-ME was beaten by MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute novice's melee. FAT BALL defeated RIPPIN in a 3 minute bloody novice's match. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 5 TOTAL PARRY 13 - 5 - 0 72 | |SLASHING ATTACK 4 PARRY-LUNGE 14 - 7 - 0 67 | |STRIKING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 20 - 13 - 1 61 | |AIMED BLOW 3 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 2 - 1 60 | |PARRY-LUNGE 2 STRIKING ATTACK 24 - 22 - 1 52 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 WALL OF STEEL 7 - 7 - 0 50 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 SLASHING ATTACK 20 - 20 - 0 50 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 BASHING ATTACK 8 - 10 - 0 44 | |WALL OF STEEL 1 AIMED BLOW 12 - 17 - 0 41 | |BASHING ATTACK 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 8 - 12 - 1 40 | Turn 563 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 0 AIMED BLOW 1 - 2 3 SLASHING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 2 LUNGING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 2 2 AIMED BLOW LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 STRIKING ATTACK SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 2 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY 1 PARRY-LUNGE 1 WALL OF STEEL TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME STRIKING ATTACK BORE-O-ME 6216 27 15 1 106 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) TOTAL PARRY ARAGANT 6220 28 13 0 103 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) PARRY-LUNGE HOWARD 6289 16 13 1 98 DOGS OF WAR (115) WALL OF STEEL EPIMONIDAS 5683 16 14 0 90 DOGS OF WAR (115) LUNGING ATTACK FOOT BALL 6305 10 1 0 90 F BALLS (523) SLASHING ATTACK FUZZ BALL 6299 7 4 0 90 F BALLS (523) AIMED BLOW ULTIMATE PAIN 5774 10 3 0 66 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is BORE-O-ME 6216. The most popular warrior this turn was EPIMONIDAS 5683. The ten other most popular fighters were FOUL BALL 6348, ULTIMATE PAIN 5774, CORRA 6330, ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090, RIPPIN 6354, ARAGANT 6220, FOOT BALL 6305, HOWARD 6289, BAD TRANS OP 6312, and ULTIMATE WRATH 5775. The least popular fighter this week was FEAR-O-ME 6352. The other ten least popular fighters were BAYONET BETTY 6346, SERIAL KILLER 4957, HANNIBAL 5715, DECAPITATOR 4959, GIMLET 6218, JIMMY CUSTER 6268, CHALLON 6304, FUZZ BALL 6299, BORE-O-ME 6216, and FAT BALL 6351.