DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 01/09/2007 Duedate: 01/22/2007 JHELUM ARENA DM-4 TURN-566 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS PUY TEERAK HA (553) (4-5764) [10-2-0,123] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader PUY TELL ME A LIE TEERAK HA (553) BAD PINOCCHIO (596) (4-5764) [10-2-0,123] (4-6360) [1-0-0,21] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite EPIMONIDAS EPIMONIDAS DOGS OF WAR (115) DOGS OF WAR (115) (4-5683) [16-17-0,86] (4-5683) [16-17-0,86] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. DOGS OF WAR (115) 65 2. BAD PINOCCHIO (596) 23 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) 3. LUROCIANS Z2 (555) 15 Unchartered Team 4. TEERAK HA (553) 8 5. TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) 6 BAD PINOCCHIO (596) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1*BAD PINOCCHIO (596) 3 1 0 75.0 1/ 2 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) 9 5 0 2/ 2 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) 126 98 4 56.3 2/ 4 DEATH SQUAD (468) 7 5 0 3/ 5 TEERAK HA (553) 26 23 1 53.1 3- 1 F BALLS (523) 6 3 1 4/ 3 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) 67 60 6 52.8 4/ 3 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) 5 0 0 5- 4 F BALLS (523) 91 83 7 52.3 5/ 6 DOGS OF WAR (115) 4 11 0 6/ 7 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) 32 30 1 51.6 6/ 5 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) 4 11 0 7/ 6 DEATH SQUAD (468) 36 36 2 50.0 7/ 7*BAD PINOCCHIO (596) 3 1 0 8/ 9 DOGS OF WAR (115) 413 619 25 40.0 8/ 8 TEERAK HA (553) 2 0 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Celebrations and Farewells He waited until almost dawn before waking Panther. She was still fairly drunk when he tested her and what his trainers had said was true. She had improved significantly over the last two fights. He left her at her bunk and moved on to attend to another matter. The room that he left thirty minutes later had more people groaning and moaning than he would have imagined possible. Whatever had happened in there last night was best left to the imagination.... Well, if someone had a pretty tame imagination at least. And Leopard had resisted leaving at that. Pulling Leopard along, he tried not to notice her lack of a shirt or the fact that her skirt kept falling down as she tried to dress and walk. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his mind of some of the images as he focused on the next two weeks. He would not need any distractions with what lay ahead. If anything, he needed the reassurance that the Tanks For Nothin' stable had given him. As they entered the room, Leopard finished redressing, straightening her red leather miniskirt and buttoning the single button on her linen white shirt which bore the brown stains of the party last night. She sat where he directed, pulling a small mirror out of some hidden fold in the too tight outfit along with some lip color which she began applying liberally. Entering the sleeping quarters again, Master Beru began rousting the rest of the team. When he walked back into the room, less than fifteen minutes later, he sputtered at the sight before him. Leopard was dancing on the one table in the room while the rest of the team watched in shock and amazement. Enraged by the trollop's forwardness, Master Beru grabbed her arm and pulled her down forcefully, slinging her at a row of chairs. "ENOUGH!! The celebration is done! Everyone, sit!" Each set of eyes watched him warily, although Leopard seemed oblivious to the mood. Her made a note to have a "talk" with her later. Timing was everything with anger. Let them stew just long enough and the anger was your friend. Let them stew too long.... "Listen up. You did well. I have paid for all of the drinks last night as well as some other people's expenses." All eyes shifted momentarily to Leopard, but quickly snapped back. They still held their discipline at least. "Panther will not be with you next turn. I have decided to give her a shot in the upcoming tournament. You have five minutes to say farewells. With grace she will return with a crown. If not, this may be your last meeting with her." Deciding against the longer version that he had intended, Master Beru stalked out of the room. The chair he passed triggered his mind. He could not figure out how Leopard had managed that position when he had first walked in.... + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Web of Death ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ + The Temple of the Spider God Dreenth Shiszelle was located in a cavern complex under a hill to the southwest of Jhelum, and Rauhauraus Korello, Exalted Grand Master of the Spider's Cult, found this unsatisfactory. It was cold, and it was damp, and he was too old to enjoy those conditions. "We need to open a temple on the square, right across from Lord Ildwarin's palace," Rauhauraus said. He finished the wine in his goblet, a massive golden vessel ornately wrought and lavishly enjeweled, and set the heavy cup down with a solid thump. It was unfortunate that the wine was not of a quality to match its vessel, but that, too, could be remedied, once Dread Dreenth Shiszelle took her proper place as ultimate ruler of Jhelum. "Exalted Grand Master, I fear we cannot do this," Grumishal, the Master's factotum, whispered. "The Lord Ildwarin, may his toenails wither, has forbidden the open worship of Dreenth Shiszelle the Terrible--" "He has done no such thing," Rauhauraus countered sharply. "He made his edict before Mighty Dreenth absorbed the essence of Shiszelle the Knife, therefore, this greater compound deity has NOT been banned. The Dread God shall take His rightful place in Jhelum and this before the world is a year older!" "As you say, Exalted Master," Grumishal whispered. "Command me that I might aid in this holy work." SPY REPORT If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of JHELUM brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too. Later days, F BALLS, since TANKS FOR NOTHIN' took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news. Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see HANNIBAL win a fight and gain 27 points, terribly. Tsk, tsk, JIMMY CUSTER beat BAD TRANS OP and BAD TRANS OP lost 17 points. You're breakin' my heart. Due to absence, and inability to defend the throne, FOOT BALL has lost the Title of Duelmaster. Start setting that alarm earlier! And it's out with the old, in with the new, as PUY takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster. Heh, heh. Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their fights? Skill? Ha! My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start talking.' I loved that woman. JHELUM, I am losing what little hope I had in you. DEATH SQUAD the most avoided team? What insult will suffice, I cannot say. And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice? Let's see, well, whatcha know? It was TANKS FOR NOTHIN'. Ha ha ha ha! BAYONET BETTY was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster. Now was the DM insulted or feared? Heh, heh. I guess I can give a little credit to M1A1 of TANKS FOR NOTHIN' for challenging up by 25 to HOWARD. M1A1 lost to get 37 points of recognition. Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and gone, and get to see if their team cared. Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing these kinds of weapons? What does the JHELUM arena have in common with the inns? It's just as comfortable to sleep in either place. Ha ha ha ha! Well, I've had enough of this drivel, and I'm sure you have too. Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather. I see the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PUY 5764 10 2 0 123 TEERAK HA (553) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -FOOT BALL 6305 12 1 1 160 F BALLS (523) -FUZZ BALL 6299 9 4 0 115 F BALLS (523) JIMMY CUSTER 6268 17 20 2 107 DOGS OF WAR (115) ARAGANT 6220 30 14 0 106 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) ULTIMATE PAIN 5774 12 3 0 95 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) GIMLET 6218 21 24 2 91 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME EPIMONIDAS 5683 16 17 0 86 DOGS OF WAR (115) HANNIBAL 5715 14 19 1 86 DOGS OF WAR (115) BAD TRANS OP 6312 9 4 1 82 DEATH SQUAD (468) DECAPITATOR 4959 9 8 0 82 DEATH SQUAD (468) HOWARD 6289 17 15 1 72 DOGS OF WAR (115) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090 6 0 0 60 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SERIAL KILLER 4957 10 6 0 43 DEATH SQUAD (468) CHALLON 6304 7 18 0 40 DOGS OF WAR (115) -ULTIMATE WRATH 5775 3 2 0 40 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) M1A1 2734 6 4 0 37 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BAYONET BETTY 6346 4 6 0 26 DEATH SQUAD (468) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MERKAVA 1839 4 12 0 24 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME TELL ME A LIE 6360 1 0 0 21 BAD PINOCCHIO (596) -MAM 6053 2 2 0 20 TEERAK HA (553) -PANTHER 3554 4 0 0 19 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) LEOPARD 6363 2 0 0 19 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) MIA2 3553 3 2 0 17 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) -FOUR BALL 6356 1 1 0 16 F BALLS (523) -FAT BALL 6351 3 1 0 10 F BALLS (523) FEAR-O-ME 6352 2 3 0 9 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) WOODEN BOY 6358 1 1 0 8 BAD PINOCCHIO (596) -NOK 6032 1 4 0 7 TEERAK HA (553) -AM 6055 1 3 0 6 TEERAK HA (553) HALF-ASS 6357 1 0 0 5 BAD PINOCCHIO (596) RIPPIN 6354 0 4 0 4 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) MERRY HADDOCK 6365 0 1 0 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? BORE-O-ME 6216 28 16 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP 582 FOOT BALL 6305 565 PERSONAL ADS Jimmy Custer -- Well, I guess we will stop meeting like this. -- Bore-O-Me F Balls -- Maybe you should change your name to RingerWraiths. -- Elfwine M1A1 -- Well, that was the pits. You tanked right over me. -- Challon Puy -- Woman, if a golem can be so called but since you're gendered you probably can, you push your luck. No lady would be so vicious and sinisterly back-handed, and if you wish to pass as one, you must moderate your behavior. Of course, the question arises, inevitably, whether someone whose name sounds like spitting was ever intended to be a lady, but that is a more philosophical topic, which I leave to those who are so inclined. I tend toward the more practical, myself. -- Epimonidas Decapitator -- Get a little carried away, don't you? Most people settle for a mere scalp. Takes less storage space than a whole head. -- Howard Yes! The Venomous Vixen begged me for mercy! I love it! -- Jimmy Custer Curses upon the Veteran Mercenary! I tried to hire him, but he declined! I offered him a good position, too, with one of my best units. But no, he was "unwilling to commit himself to a foreign adventurer." Bah. A worthless bum. -- Hannibal No! Bore-O-Me is dead? Totally dead? Let us declare a day of mourning for the passing of this unforgettable warrior. Jhelum will not be the same without him. -- the warriors at the Dogs of War Ghost of Bore-O-Me -- Alas, a meeting between us, on the old pattern, might have saved your life. -- Jimmy Custer M1A1 -- You know not whereof you speak, or what hideous powers you may provoke when you refer so scornfully to the members of our cult. It is true that there have, in the past, been cults of lesser merit than ours. It is further true that those of our members who appear in the arena do so as a penance for lapses in ritual. But I advise you, on pain of pain, to beware how you speak even so. -- Torrhelus Salinz, Illuminated Spokesman for the Cult of Dreenth Shiszelle, the Spider God Fear-O-Me -- Thank you for the incentive. Boss says my train gives me a shot at the Apprentices Tourney, so away I go. See you there?? -- Panther All -- Boss told me to relax for this cycle and rest up for the Tournament. Hopefully next time you see me I will have a crown. -- Panther Rippin -- Most warriors don't last that many hits with me, congratulations. -- M1A2 Challon -- Thanks for the learns!! Good fight! -- M1A1 Fat Ball -- Hey Baby, you done already? I was hoping to have more fun. Stop by and see me at the pub. Maybe I can make it up to you.... -- Leopard Bayonet Betty -- Good fight. I'm glad I let you learn so well. -- Merkava All -- Thanks for the warm welcome back. Panther is making a run for the Apprentices, so she sits out this turn. But don't worry, she'll be back soon to provide more entertainment, besides...Leopard is enough woman for most anyone. May grace favor your blades. -- Master Beru Shallowship -- My regrets for the loss. Have fun pounding on Foot Ball this turn!! -- Master Beru 18 December 2006 Let it be known that Buddy Lee is no longer a member of The Company of Brothers, T.C.B. I have resigned as of 10-23-06. Thank you. LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS M1A1 was devastated by HOWARD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. MERKAVA was vanquished by SERIAL KILLER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle. WOODEN BOY was demolished by BAYONET BETTY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. BAD TRANS OP was devastated by JIMMY CUSTER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight. PUY devastated DECAPITATOR in a 1 minute one-sided Title duel. ARAGANT bested EPIMONIDAS in a crowd pleasing 3 minute master's match. GIMLET was overpowered by HANNIBAL in a 2 minute uneven melee. ULTIMATE PAIN vanquished KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute uneven duel. ULTIMATE HOTTY savagely defeated CHALLON in a action packed 1 minute gory duel. MIA2 savagely defeated FEAR-O-ME in a popular 1 minute gory beginner's match. RIPPIN was subdued by LEOPARD in a 1 minute amateur's match. TELL ME A LIE handily defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided contest. HALF-ASS narrowly defeated MERRY HADDOCK in a 2 minute amateur's conflict. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |STRIKING ATTACK 4 TOTAL PARRY 13 - 6 - 0 68 | |LUNGING ATTACK 4 LUNGING ATTACK 25 - 13 - 2 66 | |SLASHING ATTACK 4 PARRY-LUNGE 11 - 9 - 0 55 | |AIMED BLOW 3 STRIKING ATTACK 21 - 18 - 1 54 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 SLASHING ATTACK 21 - 20 - 0 51 | |WALL OF STEEL 3 BASHING ATTACK 5 - 5 - 0 50 | |PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 4 - 0 43 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 AIMED BLOW 12 - 16 - 0 43 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 WALL OF STEEL 7 - 10 - 0 41 | |BASHING ATTACK 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 11 - 1 35 | Turn 566 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 3 SLASHING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 1 - 0 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 2 LUNGING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 3 2 AIMED BLOW AIMED BLOW 2 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 1 1 TOTAL PARRY LUNGING ATTACK 2 - 2 1 WALL OF STEEL SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 2 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME STRIKING ATTACK PUY 5764 10 2 0 123 TEERAK HA (553) TOTAL PARRY ARAGANT 6220 30 14 0 106 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582) AIMED BLOW ULTIMATE PAIN 5774 12 3 0 95 LUROCIANS Z2 (555) LUNGING ATTACK BAD TRANS OP 6312 9 4 1 82 DEATH SQUAD (468) SLASHING ATTACK DECAPITATOR 4959 9 8 0 82 DEATH SQUAD (468) PARRY-LUNGE HOWARD 6289 17 15 1 72 DOGS OF WAR (115) WALL OF STEEL M1A1 2734 6 4 0 37 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is EPIMONIDAS 5683. The most popular warrior this turn was EPIMONIDAS 5683. The ten other most popular fighters were HANNIBAL 5715, ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090, TELL ME A LIE 6360, MERRY HADDOCK 6365, HOWARD 6289, BAYONET BETTY 6346, JIMMY CUSTER 6268, PUY 5764, ULTIMATE PAIN 5774, and MIA2 3553. The least popular fighter this week was RIPPIN 6354. The other ten least popular fighters were CHALLON 6304, DECAPITATOR 4959, MERKAVA 1839, M1A1 2734, FEAR-O-ME 6352, GIMLET 6218, ARAGANT 6220, BAD TRANS OP 6312, WOODEN BOY 6358, and HALF-ASS 6357.