Date   : 01/09/2007    Duedate: 01/22/2007


DM-4    TURN-566

This Weeks Top Honors


(4-5764) [10-2-0,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

PUY                            TELL ME A LIE
TEERAK HA (553)                BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
(4-5764) [10-2-0,123]          (4-6360) [1-0-0,21]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

EPIMONIDAS                     EPIMONIDAS
DOGS OF WAR (115)              DOGS OF WAR (115)
(4-5683) [16-17-0,86]          (4-5683) [16-17-0,86]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DOGS OF WAR (115)           65
2. BAD PINOCCHIO (596)         23      THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
3. LUROCIANS Z2 (555)          15      Unchartered Team
4. TEERAK HA (553)              8
5. TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)      6      BAD PINOCCHIO (596)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*BAD PINOCCHIO (596)        3   1  0 75.0   1/ 2 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)   9  5 0
 2/ 2 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)    126  98  4 56.3   2/ 4 DEATH SQUAD (468)         7  5 0
 3/ 5 TEERAK HA (553)           26  23  1 53.1   3- 1 F BALLS (523)             6  3 1
 4/ 3 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)   67  60  6 52.8   4/ 3 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)        5  0 0
 5- 4 F BALLS (523)             91  83  7 52.3   5/ 6 DOGS OF WAR (115)         4 11 0
 6/ 7 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)        32  30  1 51.6   6/ 5 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)     4 11 0
 7/ 6 DEATH SQUAD (468)         36  36  2 50.0   7/ 7*BAD PINOCCHIO (596)       3  1 0
 8/ 9 DOGS OF WAR (115)        413 619 25 40.0   8/ 8 TEERAK HA (553)           2  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                             Celebrations and Farewells

     He waited until almost dawn before waking Panther.  She was still fairly drunk
when he tested her and what his trainers had said was true.  She had improved
significantly over the last two fights.  He left her at her bunk and moved on to
attend to another matter.
     The room that he left thirty minutes later had more people groaning and moaning
than he would have imagined possible.  Whatever had happened in there last night was
best left to the imagination....  Well, if someone had a pretty tame imagination at
least.  And Leopard had resisted leaving at that.
     Pulling Leopard along, he tried not to notice her lack of a shirt or the fact
that her skirt kept falling down as she tried to dress and walk.  Shaking his head,
he tried to clear his mind of some of the images as he focused on the next two weeks.
He would not need any distractions with what lay ahead.  If anything, he needed the
reassurance that the Tanks For Nothin' stable had given him.
     As they entered the room, Leopard finished redressing, straightening her red
leather miniskirt and buttoning the single button on her linen white shirt which bore
the brown stains of the party last night.  She sat where he directed, pulling a small
mirror out of some hidden fold in the too tight outfit along with some lip color
which she began applying liberally.  Entering the sleeping quarters again, Master
Beru began rousting the rest of the team.
     When he walked back into the room, less than fifteen minutes later, he sputtered
at the sight before him.  Leopard was dancing on the one table in the room while the
rest of the team watched in shock and amazement.  Enraged by the trollop's
forwardness, Master Beru grabbed her arm and pulled her down forcefully, slinging her
at a row of chairs.
     "ENOUGH!!  The celebration is done!  Everyone, sit!"
     Each set of eyes watched him warily, although Leopard seemed oblivious to the
mood.  Her made a note to have a "talk" with her later.  Timing was everything with
anger.  Let them stew just long enough and the anger was your friend.  Let them stew
too long....
     "Listen up.  You did well.  I have paid for all of the drinks last night as well
as some other people's expenses."
     All eyes shifted momentarily to Leopard, but quickly snapped back.  They still
held their discipline at least.
     "Panther will not be with you next turn.  I have decided to give her a shot in
the upcoming tournament.  You have five minutes to say farewells.  With grace she
will return with a crown.  If not, this may be your last meeting with her."
     Deciding against the longer version that he had intended, Master Beru stalked
out of the room.  The chair he passed triggered his mind.  He could not figure out
how Leopard had managed that position when he had first walked in....

               + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Web of Death ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     The Temple of the Spider God Dreenth Shiszelle was located in a cavern complex
under a hill to the southwest of Jhelum, and Rauhauraus Korello, Exalted Grand Master
of the Spider's Cult, found this unsatisfactory.  It was cold, and it was damp, and
he was too old to enjoy those conditions.
     "We need to open a temple on the square, right across from Lord Ildwarin's
palace," Rauhauraus said.  He finished the wine in his goblet, a massive golden
vessel ornately wrought and lavishly enjeweled, and set the heavy cup down with a
solid thump.  It was unfortunate that the wine was not of a quality to match its
vessel, but that, too, could be remedied, once Dread Dreenth Shiszelle took her
proper place as ultimate ruler of Jhelum.
     "Exalted Grand Master, I fear we cannot do this," Grumishal, the Master's
factotum, whispered.  "The Lord Ildwarin, may his toenails wither, has forbidden the
open worship of Dreenth Shiszelle the Terrible--"
     "He has done no such thing," Rauhauraus countered sharply.  "He made his edict
before Mighty Dreenth absorbed the essence of Shiszelle the Knife, therefore, this
greater compound deity has NOT been banned.  The Dread God shall take His rightful
place in Jhelum and this before the world is a year older!"
     "As you say, Exalted Master," Grumishal whispered.  "Command me that I might aid
in this holy work."

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
JHELUM brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, F BALLS, since TANKS FOR 
NOTHIN' took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  Of course, we're 
all terribly impressed to see HANNIBAL win a fight and gain 27 points, terribly.  
Tsk, tsk, JIMMY CUSTER beat BAD TRANS OP and BAD TRANS OP lost 17 points.  You're 
breakin' my heart.  Due to absence, and inability to defend the throne, FOOT BALL has 
lost the Title of Duelmaster.  Start setting that alarm earlier!  And it's out with 
the old, in with the new, as PUY takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old 
Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you 
think some of these guys win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  JHELUM, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  
DEATH SQUAD the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And who 
led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was 
TANKS FOR NOTHIN'.  Ha ha ha ha!  BAYONET BETTY was challenged more times this turn 
than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can 
give a little credit to M1A1 of TANKS FOR NOTHIN' for challenging up by 25 to HOWARD. 
M1A1 lost to get 37 points of recognition.   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess 
what brave team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     What does the JHELUM arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see 
the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PUY 5764                     10   2  0   123       TEERAK HA (553)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FOOT BALL 6305               12   1  1   160       F BALLS (523)
-FUZZ BALL 6299                9   4  0   115       F BALLS (523)
 JIMMY CUSTER 6268            17  20  2   107       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 ARAGANT 6220                 30  14  0   106       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 ULTIMATE PAIN 5774           12   3  0    95       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
 GIMLET 6218                  21  24  2    91       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EPIMONIDAS 5683              16  17  0    86       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 HANNIBAL 5715                14  19  1    86       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 BAD TRANS OP 6312             9   4  1    82       DEATH SQUAD (468)
 DECAPITATOR 4959              9   8  0    82       DEATH SQUAD (468)
 HOWARD 6289                  17  15  1    72       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090           6   0  0    60       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SERIAL KILLER 4957           10   6  0    43       DEATH SQUAD (468)
 CHALLON 6304                  7  18  0    40       DOGS OF WAR (115)
-ULTIMATE WRATH 5775           3   2  0    40       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
 M1A1 2734                     6   4  0    37       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BAYONET BETTY 6346            4   6  0    26       DEATH SQUAD (468)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MERKAVA 1839                  4  12  0    24       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TELL ME A LIE 6360            1   0  0    21       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
-MAM 6053                      2   2  0    20       TEERAK HA (553)
-PANTHER 3554                  4   0  0    19       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 LEOPARD 6363                  2   0  0    19       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 MIA2 3553                     3   2  0    17       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
-FOUR BALL 6356                1   1  0    16       F BALLS (523)
-FAT BALL 6351                 3   1  0    10       F BALLS (523)
 FEAR-O-ME 6352                2   3  0     9       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 WOODEN BOY 6358               1   1  0     8       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
-NOK 6032                      1   4  0     7       TEERAK HA (553)
-AM 6055                       1   3  0     6       TEERAK HA (553)
 HALF-ASS 6357                 1   0  0     5       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
 RIPPIN 6354                   0   4  0     4       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 MERRY HADDOCK 6365            0   1  0     1       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BORE-O-ME 6216        28 16 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP 582   FOOT BALL 6305        565         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jimmy Custer -- Well, I guess we will stop meeting like this. -- Bore-O-Me

F Balls -- Maybe you should change your name to RingerWraiths. -- Elfwine

M1A1 -- Well, that was the pits.  You tanked right over me. -- Challon

Puy -- Woman, if a golem can be so called but since you're gendered you probably can,
you push your luck.  No lady would be so vicious and sinisterly back-handed, and if
you wish to pass as one, you must moderate your behavior.  Of course, the question
arises, inevitably, whether someone whose name sounds like spitting was ever intended
to be a lady, but that is a more philosophical topic, which I leave to those who are
so inclined.  I tend toward the more practical, myself. -- Epimonidas

Decapitator -- Get a little carried away, don't you?  Most people settle for a mere
scalp.  Takes less storage space than a whole head. -- Howard

Yes!  The Venomous Vixen begged me for mercy!  I love it! -- Jimmy Custer

Curses upon the Veteran Mercenary!  I tried to hire him, but he declined!  I offered
him a good position, too, with one of my best units.  But no, he was "unwilling to
commit himself to a foreign adventurer."  Bah.  A worthless bum. -- Hannibal

No!  Bore-O-Me is dead?  Totally dead?  Let us declare a day of mourning for the
passing of this unforgettable warrior.  Jhelum will not be the same without him. --
the warriors at the Dogs of War

Ghost of Bore-O-Me -- Alas, a meeting between us, on the old pattern, might have
saved your life. -- Jimmy Custer

M1A1 -- You know not whereof you speak, or what hideous powers you may provoke when
you refer so scornfully to the members of our cult.  It is true that there have, in
the past, been cults of lesser merit than ours.  It is further true that those of our
members who appear in the arena do so as a penance for lapses in ritual.  But I
advise you, on pain of pain, to beware how you speak even so. -- Torrhelus Salinz,
Illuminated Spokesman for the Cult of Dreenth Shiszelle, the Spider God

Fear-O-Me -- Thank you for the incentive.  Boss says my train gives me a shot at the
Apprentices Tourney, so away I go.  See you there?? -- Panther

All -- Boss told me to relax for this cycle and rest up for the Tournament.
Hopefully next time you see me I will have a crown. -- Panther

Rippin -- Most warriors don't last that many hits with me, congratulations. -- M1A2

Challon -- Thanks for the learns!!  Good fight! -- M1A1

Fat Ball -- Hey Baby, you done already?  I was hoping to have more fun.  Stop by and
see me at the pub.  Maybe I can make it up to you.... -- Leopard

Bayonet Betty -- Good fight.  I'm glad I let you learn so well. -- Merkava

All -- Thanks for the warm welcome back.  Panther is making a run for the
Apprentices, so she sits out this turn.  But don't worry, she'll be back soon to
provide more entertainment, besides...Leopard is enough woman for most anyone.  May
grace favor your blades. -- Master Beru

Shallowship -- My regrets for the loss.  Have fun pounding on Foot Ball this turn!!
-- Master Beru

18 December 2006
Let it be known that Buddy Lee is no longer a member of The Company of Brothers,
T.C.B.  I have resigned as of 10-23-06.  Thank you.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

M1A1 was devastated by HOWARD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MERKAVA was vanquished by SERIAL KILLER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
WOODEN BOY was demolished by BAYONET BETTY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
BAD TRANS OP was devastated by JIMMY CUSTER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
PUY devastated DECAPITATOR in a 1 minute one-sided Title duel.
ARAGANT bested EPIMONIDAS in a crowd pleasing 3 minute master's match.
GIMLET was overpowered by HANNIBAL in a 2 minute uneven melee.
ULTIMATE PAIN vanquished KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ULTIMATE HOTTY savagely defeated CHALLON in a action packed 1 minute gory duel.
MIA2 savagely defeated FEAR-O-ME in a popular 1 minute gory beginner's match.
RIPPIN was subdued by LEOPARD in a 1 minute amateur's match.
TELL ME A LIE handily defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
HALF-ASS narrowly defeated MERRY HADDOCK in a 2 minute amateur's conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         TOTAL PARRY       13 -   6 -  0      68  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    25 -  13 -  2      66  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   9 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         STRIKING ATTACK   21 -  18 -  1      54  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  20 -  0      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         BASHING ATTACK     5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         AIMED BLOW        12 -  16 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL      7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  11 -  1      35  |

Turn 566 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         3  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  3         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  2                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  PUY 5764                   10   2  0  123 TEERAK HA (553)
TOTAL PARRY      ARAGANT 6220               30  14  0  106 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
AIMED BLOW       ULTIMATE PAIN 5774         12   3  0   95 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
LUNGING ATTACK   BAD TRANS OP 6312           9   4  1   82 DEATH SQUAD (468)
SLASHING ATTACK  DECAPITATOR 4959            9   8  0   82 DEATH SQUAD (468)
PARRY-LUNGE      HOWARD 6289                17  15  1   72 DOGS OF WAR (115)
WALL OF STEEL    M1A1 2734                   6   4  0   37 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is EPIMONIDAS 5683.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was EPIMONIDAS 5683.  The ten other most popular fighters were HANNIBAL 5715, 
BETTY 6346, JIMMY CUSTER 6268, PUY 5764, ULTIMATE PAIN 5774, and MIA2 3553.

The least popular fighter this week was RIPPIN 6354.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were CHALLON 6304, DECAPITATOR 4959, MERKAVA 1839, M1A1 2734, FEAR-O-ME 
6352, GIMLET 6218, ARAGANT 6220, BAD TRANS OP 6312, WOODEN BOY 6358, and HALF-ASS