DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/23/2007    Duedate: 02/05/2007

JHELUM ARENA

DM-4    TURN-567

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

FOOT BALL
F BALLS (523)
(4-6305) [13-1-1,162]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FOOT BALL                      POSITION IS EMPTY
F BALLS (523)                  
(4-6305) [13-1-1,162]          

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

EPIMONIDAS                     HANNIBAL
DOGS OF WAR (115)              DOGS OF WAR (115)
(4-5683) [17-17-0,100]         (4-5715) [14-20-1,90]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. F BALLS (523)               37
2. DOGS OF WAR (115)           32      THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
3. TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)     18      Unchartered Team
4. THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)        7
5. TEERAK HA (553)              0      MENFOLK (514)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*BAD PINOCCHIO (596)        3   1  0 75.0   1/ 1 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)  10  4 0
 2/ 2 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)    127 102  4 55.5   2/ 3 F BALLS (523)             7  3 1
 3/ 5 F BALLS (523)             95  84  7 53.1   3/ 5 DOGS OF WAR (115)         7  8 0
 4- 3 TEERAK HA (553)           26  23  1 53.1   4/ 2 DEATH SQUAD (468)         6  6 0
 5/ 4 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)   70  62  6 53.0   5- 8 TEERAK HA (553)           2  0 0
 6- 6 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)        32  30  1 51.6   6- 4 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)        2  0 0
 7/ 7 DEATH SQUAD (468)         37  39  2 48.7   7- 7*BAD PINOCCHIO (596)       2  1 0
 8/ 8 DOGS OF WAR (115)        416 621 25 40.1   8/ 6 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)     2 13 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

               + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Web of Death ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     "How goes it," Rauhauraus Korello, Exalted Grand Master of the Spider's Cult,
asked, "with those of our junior brethren who have been sent to learn the art of
Suppressing the Unbeliever with Steel?"
     "I sent eight Lesser Brethren to the arena, Most Exalted," Grumishal the
Factotum whispered.  "But not one of them was called!  I fear that Arenamaster
Narhmin stands against us and deliberately seeks to foil our efforts."
     "This could be true," Rauhauraus admitted.  "I have known Narhmin from a child,
and he has always been willful and scorned those gods he was pleased to call 'small'.
A suitable punishment must be discovered.  But until then, Dread Dreenth Shiszelle
requires a greater and continuing effort on our part to prepare for a militantly
triumphant entry into the city."
     "As you say, Exalted Master," Grumishal whispered.  "Command me that I might aid
in this holy work."
     The Exalted Grand Master paused, his wine goblet half way to his lips.  "I was
hoping for something showing more initiative, Grumishal.  ALL the Brethren of the
Dread God are mine to command, in the god's name.  From one of your long service and
privileged status, I expect...ideas.  Creative suggestions, at the least."
     The factotum blanched, quickly bowing low to hide this reaction.  Ideas?  That
had never been a part of his job description.  His duty was to give form to the ideas
of others.  But he did not say that, as it was nearly time for the Weekly Sacrifice,
and he well knew that if angered, the Exalted Grand Master was not above nominating a
substitute for the usual rabbit or other small beast.  Grumishal had, himself,
assisted in securing some errant member for sudden elevation before the Dread Altar,
and he had no wish to suffer a like fate.  The Temple Doctrine claimed, of course--as
it must--that to feed the Dread God with one's own blood and soul was the highest
honor, but Grumishal did not believe that he was deserving of such honor.  "I shall
give the matter careful thought, Exalted Master," he whispered.
     "Think fast," Rauhauraus advised.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
JHELUM.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Coming 
up with a solid 0-0-0 outing, TEERAK HA has advanced 3 places in the rankings.  It 
looks like the guys(?) at F BALLS had a good week as they went 4-1-0 to put them in 
2nd place.  I guess steroids help!  Hey everybody, watch out for HOWARD, who flew up 
18 points in the rankings after mashing BAD TRANS OP like a melon.  Keep your eye on 
this guy.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was BAD TRANS OP, who dropped 14 
points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with HOWARD.  Well, if ya don't 
shows up at the laundromat, ya can'ts wash yer clothes.  PUY did not fight this week 
so hers title was forfeit.  It's a proud day for the F BALLS stable, as their 
warrior, FOOT BALL, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed 
protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the JHELUM arena.  And hey, 
kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid F BALLS, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does 
JHELUM really have that many liars?  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch TANKS FOR 
NOTHIN''s act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from F 
BALLS.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of BAYONET BETTY, who was this week's 
most challenged warrior.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Knowing when to use the right 
tactics at the proper time is a very important step on the road to Duelmaster.   
     Well, there's the manager of the JHELUM giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), 
oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOOT BALL 6305               13   1  1   162       F BALLS (523)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FUZZ BALL 6299               10   4  0   126       F BALLS (523)
-PUY 5764                     10   2  0   123       TEERAK HA (553)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARAGANT 6220                 31  14  0   109       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 EPIMONIDAS 5683              17  17  0   100       DOGS OF WAR (115)
-ULTIMATE PAIN 5774           12   3  0    95       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
 GIMLET 6218                  21  25  2    92       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 JIMMY CUSTER 6268            17  21  2    92       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOWARD 6289                  18  15  1    90       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 HANNIBAL 5715                14  20  1    90       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 DECAPITATOR 4959              9   9  0    85       DEATH SQUAD (468)
 BAD TRANS OP 6312             9   5  1    68       DEATH SQUAD (468)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090           6   0  0    60       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHALLON 6304                  8  18  0    51       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 M1A1 2734                     7   4  0    48       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
-ULTIMATE WRATH 5775           3   2  0    40       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
 SERIAL KILLER 4957           10   7  0    37       DEATH SQUAD (468)
 BAYONET BETTY 6346            5   6  0    35       DEATH SQUAD (468)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEOPARD 6363                  3   0  0    26       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 MERKAVA 1839                  4  13  0    25       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PANTHER 3554                  5   0  0    23       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 FAT BALL 6351                 4   1  0    22       F BALLS (523)
-TELL ME A LIE 6360            1   0  0    21       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
-MAM 6053                      2   2  0    20       TEERAK HA (553)
 MIA2 3553                     3   3  0    12       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 FOOS BALL 6366                1   0  0    11       F BALLS (523)
 FEAR-O-ME 6352                2   4  0    10       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
-WOODEN BOY 6358               1   1  0     8       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
-NOK 6032                      1   4  0     7       TEERAK HA (553)
-AM 6055                       1   3  0     6       TEERAK HA (553)
-HALF-ASS 6357                 1   0  0     5       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
 RIPPIN 6354                   0   5  0     5       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 MERRY HADDOCK 6365            0   2  0     2       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FOUR BALL 6356         1  2 0 F BALLS 523           STONE GOLEM 606       567 NONE    
BORE-O-ME 6216        28 16 1 THE SHALLOWSHIP 582   FOOT BALL 6305        565         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Hannibal -- OH!  You scarred my pretty face, you big brute!  Now how can I spy with
my Gimlet eye? -- Gimlet

Epimonidas -- Meet me down at the pond and we'll play in the scum. -- Aragant

Foot Ball -- May you return to the Dark Arena from whence you oozed! -- Ghost of
Bore-O-Me

All -- Much thanks for the condolences for Bore-O-Me.  You should have seen the
funeral.  Never was a more valiant warrior laid to rest in a more glorious fashion--
much grog was consumed that eve, I can assure you!  The loss weighs heavily upon us
all and yet revenge is so elusive. -- The Shallowship

Tanks for Nothin' -- Yeah, we don't seem to get much more than that.  Don't forget,
for a good time, call Rippin, 4-6354. -- Rippin & Fear-O-Me

M1a1 -- Er...shouldn't you be doing something more?  Trying to hit me, for instance?
Not that I MIND having it all my own way, but I just thought...well, I don't know
what I thought.  It isn't like I'm being paid to think.  Hmm.  Hard tourney, and
you're still recovering? -- Howard, determined to be sociable at most costs

Bad Trans Op -- You again.  I'm still not sure what you're talking about, and, here's
a clue, when I can beat you, I don't actually care.  Winning is, if not all, darned
nearly. -- Jimmy Custer

Aragant -- Ah, you won.  That is...rather good, I believe.  We were beginning to
question whether the End of Days was near when the first two fights were wins, and
against warriors who have beaten ours before this.  On the whole, I would prefer to
NOT face the End of Days just yet.  I still have several things to accomplish. --
Epimonidas

Gimlet -- What is this?  You present us with another win?  I suspect a sinister
significance here, and I will not rest until it has been uncovered!  Hmm, do you
suppose the Minions of the Spider God are attempting to suborn us?  (sigh)  I
wouldn't mind being suborned by some love goddess's cult, or even a drinker's cult,
but SPIDERS?  Don't care for 'em, personally, although I realize they have their part
to play in the ecology.  But one on one, no. -- Hannibal

Ultimate Hotty -- That undefeated record will, sooner or later, turn around and bite
you on your well-formed rear.  Be warned. -- Challon

Ghost of Bore-O-Me -- I shall drink to your shade. -- Jimmy Custer
P.S.  Actually since I am ADDRESSING the shade of Bore-O-Me, that should probably be:
I will drink to you.  If I have an opportunity to kick the murderous Foot Ball, be
assured that I shall do so.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FOUR BALL was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
FOOT BALL bested DECAPITATOR in a exciting 1 minute gruesome Title duel.
FUZZ BALL demolished JIMMY CUSTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven fight.
ARAGANT unbelievably bested HANNIBAL in a 6 minute veteran's fight.
GIMLET was demolished by EPIMONIDAS in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
BAD TRANS OP was devastated by HOWARD in a 1 minute mismatched match.
M1A1 viciously subdued SERIAL KILLER in a 3 minute gruesome fight.
CHALLON vanquished AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
MERKAVA was defeated by FAT BALL in a 3 minute duel.
BAYONET BETTY vanquished MIA2 in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
PANTHER outlasted RIPPIN in a tiring 11 minute melee.
FEAR-O-ME was overpowered by LEOPARD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MERRY HADDOCK was devastated by FOOS BALL in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         TOTAL PARRY       13 -   5 -  0      72  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK    27 -  12 -  2      69  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -   8 -  0      60  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  14 -  1      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   19 -  21 -  0      48  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         WALL OF STEEL      8 -  10 -  0      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         BASHING ATTACK     3 -   5 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         AIMED BLOW        10 -  17 -  0      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  11 -  1      35  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   6 -  0      33  |

Turn 567 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         3  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   FOOT BALL 6305             13   1  1  162 F BALLS (523)
SLASHING ATTACK  FUZZ BALL 6299             10   4  0  126 F BALLS (523)
TOTAL PARRY      ARAGANT 6220               31  14  0  109 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
PARRY-LUNGE      HOWARD 6289                18  15  1   90 DOGS OF WAR (115)
WALL OF STEEL    M1A1 2734                   7   4  0   48 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
AIMED BLOW       SERIAL KILLER 4957         10   7  0   37 DEATH SQUAD (468)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is EPIMONIDAS 5683.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HANNIBAL 5715.  The ten other most popular fighters were EPIMONIDAS 5683, M1A1 
2734, MERKAVA 1839, FOOT BALL 6305, FUZZ BALL 6299, CHALLON 6304, HOWARD 6289, SERIAL 
KILLER 4957, FAT BALL 6351, and BAYONET BETTY 6346.

The least popular fighter this week was PANTHER 3554.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were RIPPIN 6354, MERRY HADDOCK 6365, FEAR-O-ME 6352, MIA2 3553, BAD TRANS 
OP 6312, ARAGANT 6220, GIMLET 6218, JIMMY CUSTER 6268, DECAPITATOR 4959, and FOUR 
BALL 6356.