DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/20/2007    Duedate: 04/02/2007

JHELUM ARENA

DM-4    TURN-571

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

EPIMONIDAS
DOGS OF WAR (115)
(4-5683) [19-19-0,128]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

EPIMONIDAS                     POSITION IS EMPTY
DOGS OF WAR (115)              
(4-5683) [19-19-0,128]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

EPIMONIDAS                     CHALLON
DOGS OF WAR (115)              DOGS OF WAR (115)
(4-5683) [19-19-0,128]         (4-6304) [9-21-0,48]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DEATH SQUAD (468)           24
2. F BALLS (523)               20      UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)
3. UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)      18      Unchartered Team
4. THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)       15
5. TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)     12TRUCKLOAD OF POTATOS (336)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*BAD PINOCCHIO (596)        5   3  0 62.5   1/ 1 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)  11  4 1
 2/ 2 UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)    36  25  0 59.0   2/ 3 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)     9  6 0
 3/ 3 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)    136 108  4 55.7   3/ 2 DOGS OF WAR (115)         8  7 0
 4/ 4 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)   84  68  7 55.3   4/ 4 F BALLS (523)             4  2 1
 5/ 5 F BALLS (523)            101  87  8 53.7   5/ 5 DEATH SQUAD (468)         3  9 0
 6/ 6 TRIBAL COUNCIL (120)     231 225 12 50.7   6/ 7 UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)    2  0 0
 7/ 7 DEATH SQUAD (468)         42  50  2 45.7   7- 6*BAD PINOCCHIO (596)       2  2 0
 8/ 8 DOGS OF WAR (115)        426 631 25 40.3   8/ 8 TRIBAL COUNCIL (120)      1  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
JHELUM brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Of course, we're all terribly 
impressed to see DECAPITATOR win a fight and gain 26 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, 
DECAPITATOR beat JIMMY CUSTER and JIMMY CUSTER lost 23 points.  You're breakin' my 
heart.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as EPIMONIDAS takes the Title and 
last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  I'm not in a very good mood 
today, but why am I telling you this?  You want to know what's new, don't you, 
JHELUM?   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
What's the big D?  BAD PINOCCHIO was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... 
grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  
Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was TANKS FOR NOTHIN'.  Ha ha ha ha!  Ooh, I'm 
frightfully impressed, WHITE THUNDER was this turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch 
that ego swell, sports fans.   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  And sending FAT BALL to the Dark Arena was supposed 
to be one of your better ideas, F BALLS?  We're all going to die in the end, so why 
worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that later?   
     There's got to be a better place in JHELUM to get a drink than The Dripping 
Blade!  Any suggestions?  Well, I've had enough of this drivel, and I'm sure you have 
too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  Glad to see the back of this place-- 
Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EPIMONIDAS 5683              19  19  0   128       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FOOT BALL 6305               15   1  1   182       F BALLS (523)
-FUZZ BALL 6299               12   4  0   138       F BALLS (523)
 HOWARD 6289                  22  15  1   117       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 ARAGANT 6220                 32  16  0   114       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 GIMLET 6218                  22  27  2    98       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 DECAPITATOR 4959             10  12  0    97       DEATH SQUAD (468)
-VALLEY OF FEAR 4188           9   3  0    96       UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DESERT OF TRUTH 4187         11   2  0    89       UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)
 JIMMY CUSTER 6268            19  23  2    82       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 BAD TRANS OP 6312            11   7  1    82       DEATH SQUAD (468)
 HANNIBAL 5715                15  23  1    81       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITE THUNDER 6040            7   4  0    63       TRIBAL COUNCIL (120)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MERKAVA 1839                  7  14  0    56       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 PANTHER 3554                  9   0  0    55       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 LEOPARD 6363                  6   1  0    53       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 CHALLON 6304                  9  21  0    48       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 M1A1 2734                     9   6  1    47       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 SERIAL KILLER 4957           12   9  0    45       DEATH SQUAD (468)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-WOODEN BOY 6358               2   2  0    31       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
 RIPPIN 6354                   3   5  0    29       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
-TELL ME A LIE 6360            2   1  0    29       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)
 FEAR-O-ME 6352                4   5  0    27       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 BAYONET BETTY 6346            5  10  0    25       DEATH SQUAD (468)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MIA2 3553                     5   5  0    20       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 FOUL BALL 6374                1   0  1    16       F BALLS (523)
-FOOS BALL 6366                1   0  0    11       F BALLS (523)
-HALF-ASS 6357                 1   0  0     5       BAD PINOCCHIO (596)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HUNTING WOLF 4237             0   1  0     1       TRIBAL COUNCIL (120)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
EMBEZZLING SCRIBE 585  0  1 0   1                   FOUL BALL 6374        571 NONE    
FAT BALL 6351          5  3 0 F BALLS 523           SHEWISH GIANT 601     571 NONE    
MERRY HADDOCK 6365     2  3 0 THE SHALLOWSHIP 582   M1A1 2734             571         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Epimonidas -- Something is definitely amiss!  Of course the better man won, but how
do you lose a contest, and come out Duelmaster?  I smell a rat.  Seems as though I
must have friends in low places.  Either that or... you like me, you really like me!
Feels like 2000 all over again. -- Aragant

     You smell a rat?  But I had the place fumigated! -- Arenamaster Narhmin

Hannibal -- Couldn't you just throw me a bone one time, jeez!  I am having one bad
quarter.  Guess I'll just have to challenge Dead Horse next time.  The ol' Gimlet Eye
ain't what it used to be, I gin. -- Gimlet.

Aragant -- Ah, the pleasures of meeting an old friend and taking him down a notch!
Few can match that one.  Good try, though. -- Epimonidas

M. Chardinee.  He keeps trying to sell me this bridge in Xochithlan.  What would I do
with a bridge, I ask you? -- Howard
P.S.  I prefer ferries, myself.  Now, if he had a good ferry to sell, I might listen.

Gimlet -- I know you had your "eagle eye" on that elephant, but that is MY elephant,
and the auctioneer KNEW it.  Besides, you can't afford to maintain an elephant.  They
eat a lot, you know. -- Hannibal

Decapitator -- Like I was going to hold still for that?  Fat chance. -- Jimmy Custer

Panther -- I don't know whether you're a "cute little thing," only that you're
little.  And female.  That's enough to rouse my curiosity.  Come on by my place,
without the extra layers, hmm? -- Challon
P.S.  We can disrobe together.

Merkava -- There's a special blend they have over at the Next Door that is called
"Milk of Seven Veils."  You might want to try it. -- Challon

Panther -- It isn't my FEELINGS that are, ahem, you know?  Come on by and I'll show
you. -- Challon

M1A1 -- I'm glad SOMEBODY got something out of that. -- Korlaz Trak, Ambitious Guard

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FAT BALL was viciously butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
ARAGANT was subdued by EPIMONIDAS in a popular 3 minute veteran's Title melee.
GIMLET vanquished CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
HANNIBAL was defeated by DESERT OF TRUTH in a 1 minute fight.
HOWARD demolished BAD TRANS OP in a action packed 1 minute mismatched competition.
JIMMY CUSTER was devastated by DECAPITATOR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
MERKAVA defeated FEAR-O-ME in a 1 minute melee.
M1A1 dispatched MERRY HADDOCK in a 2 minute expert vs. beginner duel.
LEOPARD overpowered BAYONET BETTY in a 1 minute uneven duel.
PANTHER luckily beat CHALLON in a exciting 7 minute gruesome fight.
SERIAL KILLER was overpowered by WHITE THUNDER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
RIPPIN subdued MIA2 in a 2 minute competition.
FOUL BALL put to death EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 2 minute novice's contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         TOTAL PARRY       13 -   4 -  0      76  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -   6 -  1      70  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         LUNGING ATTACK    27 -  17 -  1      61  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -  11 -  0      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  20 -  0      51  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  15 -  1      46  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW         9 -  13 -  0      41  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         BASHING ATTACK     0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 571 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      4 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         4  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      HOWARD 6289                22  15  1  117 DOGS OF WAR (115)
TOTAL PARRY      ARAGANT 6220               32  16  0  114 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
LUNGING ATTACK   DESERT OF TRUTH 4187       11   2  0   89 UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (388)
WALL OF STEEL    WHITE THUNDER 6040          7   4  0   63 TRIBAL COUNCIL (120)
AIMED BLOW       SERIAL KILLER 4957         12   9  0   45 DEATH SQUAD (468)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is EPIMONIDAS 5683.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was CHALLON 6304.  The ten other most popular fighters were EPIMONIDAS 5683, HOWARD 
6289, FAT BALL 6351, DECAPITATOR 4959, MERRY HADDOCK 6365, RIPPIN 6354, GIMLET 6218, 
DESERT OF TRUTH 4187, MERKAVA 1839, and M1A1 2734.

The least popular fighter this week was SERIAL KILLER 4957.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BAYONET BETTY 6346, HANNIBAL 5715, FOUL BALL 6374, PANTHER 
3554, FEAR-O-ME 6352, JIMMY CUSTER 6268, BAD TRANS OP 6312, ARAGANT 6220, MIA2 3553, 
and WHITE THUNDER 6040.