DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/29/2007    Duedate: 06/11/2007

JHELUM ARENA

DM-4    TURN-576

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

JIMMY CUSTER
DOGS OF WAR (115)
(4-6268) [23-24-2,117]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JIMMY CUSTER                   DIAPERED ZALGOR
DOGS OF WAR (115)              BABY BROTHERS (510)
(4-6268) [23-24-2,117]         (4-5367) [5-1-0,65]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CHALLON                        HANNIBAL
DOGS OF WAR (115)              DOGS OF WAR (115)
(4-6304) [10-25-0,55]          (4-5715) [17-26-1,82]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE WALL (367)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)     47
2. THE WALL (367)              19      TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
3. BABY BROTHERS (510)         11      Unchartered Team
4. THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)        5
5. DOGS OF WAR (115)            3      BABY BROTHERS (510)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*BABY BROTHERS (510)        5   1  0 83.3   1/ 2*THE WALL (367)           11  4 0
 2/ 2*THE WALL (367)            11   4  0 73.3   2/ 1 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)   7  3 0
 3/ 3 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)  101  71  9 58.7   3/ 3 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)     5 10 1
 4- 5 F BALLS (523)            103  88  8 53.9   4/ 4 DOGS OF WAR (115)         5 10 0
 5/ 4 THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)    144 124  5 53.7   5/ 5*BABY BROTHERS (510)       3  0 0
 6/ 6 DOGS OF WAR (115)        437 645 25 40.4   6- 6 F BALLS (523)             2  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Gimlet, good job!  You lose very well, and I appreciate the gift.  After all,
we've only been the most casual of friends, up to now.  But from this gift, I can see
you want a closer relationship--now that you're no longer overshadowed by Scandalf
and Aragant.  Splendid fellows, of course, Scandalf and Aragant, but, ah...pushy.
Always wanting to be the center of attention.  Now, though....

                                     Jimmy Custer

                                      SPY REPORT

     Oh, hi.  Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte.  Thought I'd check out JHELUM to see 
what's new.  Like, TANKS FOR NOTHIN' had to be so embarrassed when they got kicked 
off #1 spot by THE WALL!  Way to go THE WALL!  MVP award for PANTHER?  TANKS FOR 
NOTHIN''s proud of her after beating HANNIBAL and getting 19 points.  Talk about yer 
big time losers!  HANNIBAL got smashed by PANTHER, and lost 13 points!  GIMLET thinks 
his 24-30-2 and studly character is good enough to face up to the Duelmaster.  Any 
bets?  This Duelmaster is like something else!  JIMMY CUSTER stopped GIMLET dead in 
his tracks!  Is the Duelmaster really being a real snob to his teammates?  Don't ask 
me!   
     So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway?  It can't be for these 
really neat Spyreports can it?  The warriors of TANKS FOR NOTHIN' must be getting 
lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something that I don't?  
Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are BABY BROTHERS?  TANKS FOR NOTHIN', an easy team to 
beat if I ever saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Like, is FLOYD PINK 
popular, or what?  He was challenged the most in all of JHELUM!  He's got a 3-0-0, is 
that good?   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, 
that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really should stop.  Its 
been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JIMMY CUSTER 6268            23  24  2   117       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FOOT BALL 6305               16   1  1   190       F BALLS (523)
-FUZZ BALL 6299               13   4  0   152       F BALLS (523)
 HOWARD 6289                  25  17  1    93       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PANTHER 3554                 13   0  0    86       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 LEOPARD 6363                  9   2  0    85       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 HANNIBAL 5715                17  26  1    82       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DIAPERED ZALGOR 5367          5   1  0    65       BABY BROTHERS (510)
 M1A1 2734                    13   6  1    64       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 MERKAVA 1839                  9  16  1    59       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHALLON 6304                 10  25  0    55       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 MIA2 3553                     9   5  1    50       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLOYD PINK 3936               3   0  0    30       THE WALL (367)
 FEAR-O-ME 6352                5   9  1    25       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 J.A. PINKERTON 6384           2   0  0    21       THE WALL (367)
 THE JUDGE 3939                3   0  0    20       THE WALL (367)
 RIPPIN 6354                   3  10  0    19       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 TEACHER 3940                  3   0  0    17       THE WALL (367)
 FREEBEARD 6380                3   1  0    11       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
-FOOS BALL 6366                1   0  0    11       F BALLS (523)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOMEWISEGUY 6383              1   1  0     4       THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)
 LEONIDAS 6382                 0   3  0     3       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 THE PROSTITUTE 3938           0   3  0     3       THE WALL (367)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jimmy Custer -- Two broadswords, really?  Considering you don't usually go past the
first minute, you might have need of more swiftness that weapons.  If you're going to
go to all the trouble, at least haul along some malt beer and ripe meat on the bone.
-- Gimlet

Floyd Pink -- Shouldn't your fighting style be 'wall of sound'?  I'm so full of holes
from that epee I feel like a harmonica.  Perhaps we shall yet play beautiful music
together, my young enting, hoom hah! -- Freebeard

THE Prostitute -- Ha!  As if there was only one.  Thirteen minutes of heavy breathing
and scimitar swishing left me wanting more.  Perhaps next time I'll last even longer
so bring a friend. -- Somewiseguy

Widow of Convicted Thief -- My condolences madam.  Most thieves don't get what they
deserve but this one overpaid, I think. -- Fear-O-Me
P.S.  Has anyone seen my flagon?

Osksi Noble -- What is so noble about a name that can't be pronounced without
spittle? -- Rippin

Leonidas -- Shine on you crazy diamond...or head on off to the dark arena, whichever
you prefer. -- Floyd

Diapered Zalgor -- What an unwelcome image!  And yet, without the diaper...no, don't
want to go there. -- Challon
P.S.  I was too disconcerted to even THINK of fighting.

Convicted Assassin?  Nobody told me I'd be fighting assassins!  The very idea put me
off my stroke.  What if he had a poisoned blade?  What if he had a garrote?  I was
unprepared for the plethora of lethal possibilities. -- Howard

Veteran Mercenaries.  It's a sad comment on the state of the world when worthy
soldiers are reduced to fighting in the arena, and I include myself in that group,
but not my teammate Jimmy. -- Hannibal

J.A. Pinkerton -- (tips head way back)  So tall!  Amazing.  I envy you that. --
Leonidas
P.S.  Do you dance?  I know we're both men, but we're also half-elves, and we don't
have to take the narrow human view, do we?  We could be just friends and dancing
partners.

Our congratulations to Gimlet. -- the Dogs of War

The Judge -- Listen, dammit, give me a couple of coppers and I'll go away. -- Dirty
Joe, your average Persistent Beggar

Teacher -- I never did like school.  And I still don't. -- Balbonsigo of Mordant

Rippin -- (nasty grin)  Take that, you commoner. -- Ladro van Koren Sistrum the
Fifth, Nobleman of Osksi

Fear-O-Me -- Hey!  That was TOTALLY unnecessary.  Now I'll have to go steal more

stuff (and probably get convicted for it, as I am not a natural nor a trained thief,
I was raised to be honest) in order to pay off the resurrection debt.  Bummer, dude.
-- Zock, Convicted Thief

Hannibal -- I made you sweat for that one. -- Doldo d'Ariske, Veteran Mercenary
P.S.  Does that count as an "audition"?  I'd like to join your army, provided I don't
have to clean up after the elephants.

Howard -- Ah...rhymes with "coward," yes?  And a ninety-pound weakling, besides,
which is odd in someone six feet tall.  Of course, you're a golem, which may explain
it.  A hollow man.  Unworthy of my steel, but I do what I must, as always. -- Trilibo
of Sibikhas, unreasonably Convicted Assassin
P.S.  The judge was against me, because it was that very judge who HIRED me in the
first place to take out his mother-in-law.  There is no honor left in this world.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GIMLET was devastated by JIMMY CUSTER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
DIAPERED ZALGOR demolished CHALLON in a 2 minute gory one-sided Challenge melee.
RIPPIN lost to FLOYD PINK in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
FREEBEARD unbelievably bested THE PROSTITUTE in a 1 minute novice's Challenge fight.
HANNIBAL was luckily beaten by PANTHER in a 7 minute mismatched competition.
LEOPARD devastated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HOWARD handily defeated MERKAVA in a 1 minute uneven fight.
M1A1 vanquished FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
MIA2 vanquished FEAR-O-ME in a 1 minute uneven fight.
TEACHER outwaited SOMEWISEGUY in a tiresome 19 minute novice's fight.
THE JUDGE overcame LEONIDAS in a 3 minute novice's bout.
J.A. PINKERTON demolished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         TOTAL PARRY       19 -   5 -  0      79  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         BASHING ATTACK     3 -   1 -  0      75  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   5 -  1      69  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  10 -  2      63  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -  13 -  1      58  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         LUNGING ATTACK    18 -  14 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         AIMED BLOW         8 -   9 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  12 -  0      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   7 -  1      30  |

Turn 576 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0                                       2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1                                       2  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      HOWARD 6289                25  17  1   93 DOGS OF WAR (115)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      PANTHER 3554               13   0  0   86 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
LUNGING ATTACK   LEOPARD 6363                9   2  0   85 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
STRIKING ATTACK  DIAPERED ZALGOR 5367        5   1  0   65 BABY BROTHERS (510)
WALL OF STEEL    M1A1 2734                  13   6  1   64 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
SLASHING ATTACK  MIA2 3553                   9   5  1   50 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CHALLON 6304.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HANNIBAL 5715.  The ten other most popular fighters were FLOYD PINK 3936, 
LEONIDAS 6382, DIAPERED ZALGOR 5367, JIMMY CUSTER 6268, LEOPARD 6363, MIA2 3553, 
RIPPIN 6354, THE PROSTITUTE 3938, M1A1 2734, and CHALLON 6304.

The least popular fighter this week was TEACHER 3940.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SOMEWISEGUY 6383, FEAR-O-ME 6352, MERKAVA 1839, PANTHER 3554, J.A. 
PINKERTON 6384, THE JUDGE 3939, HOWARD 6289, FREEBEARD 6380, CHALLON 6304, and M1A1 
2734.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

JIMMY CUSTER (4-6268) DOGS OF WAR (115)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

GIMLET (4-6218) THE SHALLOWSHIP (582)