DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/08/2008    Duedate: 01/21/2008

JHELUM ARENA

DM-4    TURN-592

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

FOOS BALL
F BALLS (523)
(4-6366) [8-2-1,117]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FOOS BALL                      POSITION IS EMPTY
F BALLS (523)                  
(4-6366) [8-2-1,117]           

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

PETE MASTIFF                   THE PROSTITUTE
DOGS OF WAR (115)              THE WALL (367)
(4-6387) [10-5-0,66]           (4-3938) [7-12-0,41]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. JHELUM JUVENILES (600)      78
2. F BALLS (523)               45      TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
3. DOGS OF WAR (115)           19      Unchartered Team
4. TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)      3
5. THE WALL (367)              -6      JHELUM JUVENILES (600)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*JHELUM JUVENILES (600)     5   0  0  100   1/ 1 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)   9  5 2
 2/ 1 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)  154  93 16 62.3   2/ 3 F BALLS (523)             8  1 1
 3/ 2 THE WALL (367)            40  31  0 56.3   3/ 2 DOGS OF WAR (115)         7  8 0
 4/ 3 F BALLS (523)            124  97 10 56.1   4/ 0*JHELUM JUVENILES (600)    5  0 0
 5/ 4 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)        37  33  2 52.9   5/ 4 LUROCIANS Z2 (555)        2  2 0
 6/ 5 DOGS OF WAR (115)        475 687 26 40.9   6/ 5 THE WALL (367)            1  8 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon JHELUM, for I, 
Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  I doubt many are quaking in their boots, but JHELUM 
JUVENILES comes out of nowhere to get 5-0-0.  What does the future hold?  Watch this 
space...  ULTIMATE WRATH certainly had a baffled expression on his face, after losing 
to LEONIDAS and losing 8 points in the process!  FOOS BALL successfully staved off a 
grab for the roses by MIA2 of TANKS FOR NOTHIN'.  Does JHELUM have no one talented 
enough to dethrone him?  Word has it one team in JHELUM is taking speech lessons to 
try to bore their opponent to death.  I'll bet it works.   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Like the noble eagle soaring amongst the 
mountaintops, so stand the warriors of THE WALL, alone and unchallenged.  The 
warriors of THE WALL found their efforts at combat frustrated as F BALLS apparently 
had more important things to do than fight.  Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, 
and LEONIDAS is it right now.  Most challenged warrior.  Isn't DOGS OF WAR proud!  
CHALLORN found himself challenged by a warrior 19 below:  FUR BALL.  FUR BALL of F 
BALLS kept his wits as he dispatched CHALLORN.   
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  You've heard about 
CHALLORN of DOGS OF WAR.  Death plays no favorites, and neither do I.  What was a 
4-5-0 doing on the fields in the first place?  Oh hard!  that to strike a flame, the 
match itself must needs be wasting!   
     Leave me now, you base fools!  My fingers tire and I fear my incessant prattling 
may cause unfair judgement upon my impeccable character.  Can anything compare to the 
pleasure of writing Spyreports for JHELUM?  On that giddy note I take my leave-- 
Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOOS BALL 6366                8   2  1   117       F BALLS (523)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEONIDAS 6382                10   9  0    93       DOGS OF WAR (115)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ULTIMATE HOTTY 6090           7   1  0    90       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
 MIA2 3553                    21   9  2    85       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 MERKAVA 1839                 18  23  2    84       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
 TEACHER 3940                 13   6  0    67       THE WALL (367)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PETE MASTIFF 6387            10   5  0    66       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 ULTIMATE WRATH 5775           6   3  0    66       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FUZZ BALL 6404                4   0  0    46       F BALLS (523)
 THE PROSTITUTE 3938           7  12  0    41       THE WALL (367)
 THE JUDGE 3939               10   9  0    39       THE WALL (367)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FUR BALL 6398                 1   1  1    29       F BALLS (523)
 JOSEPH 6407                   5   1  0    28       DOGS OF WAR (115)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIGER II 6409                 3   0  1    22       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
-FOUL BALL 6413                1   0  0    20       F BALLS (523)
 ATTENTION SEEKER 6418         1   0  0    20       JHELUM JUVENILES (600)
 GOOD NIGHT GRACIE 6417        1   0  0    20       JHELUM JUVENILES (600)
 SCREAMS AT MOVIES 6416        1   0  0    15       JHELUM JUVENILES (600)
 FLIPPY THE HIPPIE 6415        1   0  0    13       JHELUM JUVENILES (600)
-FLY BALL 6412                 1   0  0    13       F BALLS (523)
 CROOK 6408                    3   3  0    12       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 VENGEANCE IS MINE 6414        1   0  0    10       JHELUM JUVENILES (600)
-ULTIMATE PAIN II 6148         0   1  0     7       LUROCIANS Z2 (555)
 PERSHING 6410                 1   2  1     6       TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CHALLORN 6402           4  5 0 DOGS OF WAR 115      FUR BALL 6398         592   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Merkava -- That was exciting.  You may not be such a sterling example of gladiatorial
responsibility, but you make a great Horrid Warning. -- Leonidas

Ultimate Wrath -- Are you sure?  Maybe it's only the next-to-ultimate wrath. -- Pete
Mastiff

The Prostitute -- Ah.  I can see why Leonidas dislikes you so much. -- Challorn

Pershing -- I find bearded women very strange.  Uncustomary. -- Joseph

Tiger Ii -- You're an exhausting woman.  And bad-tempered with it. -- Crook

All -- Our financier has a special interest in launching our stable in Jhelum arena
and we look forward to crossing blades here! -- Jhelum Juveniles

     The Regional Arena News is down for repairs but will return soon.

22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such.  Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text.  Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ULTIMATE WRATH was devastated by LEONIDAS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
FUZZ BALL luckily beat THE PROSTITUTE in a exciting 13 minute gory Challenge melee.
FUR BALL slaughtered CHALLORN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
FOOS BALL overpowered MIA2 in a 1 minute one-sided Title fight.
MERKAVA bested TEACHER in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven brawl.
PETE MASTIFF overpowered THE JUDGE in a popular 1 minute gruesome mismatched brawl.
JOSEPH vanquished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
CROOK was luckily beaten by TIGER II in a action packed 5 minute duel.
PERSHING was defeated by VENGEANCE IS MINE in a 1 minute novice's fight.
FLIPPY THE HIPPIE handily defeated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SCREAMS AT MOVIES demolished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
GOOD NIGHT GRACIE handily defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
ATTENTION SEEKER demolished EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -   5 -  1      71  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         WALL OF STEEL     15 -   7 -  3      68  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         LUNGING ATTACK    15 -   8 -  0      65  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         TOTAL PARRY       23 -  13 -  1      64  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         STRIKING ATTACK   25 -  22 -  2      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK     4 -   4 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         AIMED BLOW         2 -   3 -  1      40  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   5 -  0      29  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   3 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   4 -  0       0  |

Turn 592 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         4  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  3                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  FOOS BALL 6366              8   2  1  117 F BALLS (523)
LUNGING ATTACK   LEONIDAS 6382              10   9  0   93 DOGS OF WAR (115)
SLASHING ATTACK  MIA2 3553                  21   9  2   85 TANKS FOR NOTHIN' (171)
TOTAL PARRY      TEACHER 3940               13   6  0   67 THE WALL (367)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is PETE MASTIFF 6387.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was THE PROSTITUTE 3938.  The ten other most popular fighters were CROOK 6408, 
LEONIDAS 6382, PETE MASTIFF 6387, MERKAVA 1839, JOSEPH 6407, FOOS BALL 6366, 
VENGEANCE IS MINE 6414, FLIPPY THE HIPPIE 6415, GOOD NIGHT GRACIE 6417, and ATTENTION 
SEEKER 6418.

The least popular fighter this week was FUZZ BALL 6404.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were TIGER II 6409, PERSHING 6410, MIA2 3553, CHALLORN 6402, SCREAMS AT 
MOVIES 6416, THE JUDGE 3939, TEACHER 3940, FUR BALL 6398, ULTIMATE WRATH 5775, and 
ATTENTION SEEKER 6418.