Date   : 08/14/2012    Duedate: 08/27/2012


DM-4    TURN-685

This Weeks Top Honors


(4-5694) [9-5-1,93]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KID KOALA                      ELDERLY WOMAN
COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)         PEARL JAM (629)
(4-5694) [9-5-1,93]            (4-6673) [4-2-0,51]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WARBURTON                      GRRR
DOGS OF WAR (115)              ZOMBIE SQUADS (634)
(4-6649) [15-19-0,70]          (4-6724) [0-2-0,6]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DOGS OF WAR (115)           37
2. ZOMBIE SQUADS (634)         22      SAVAGE HORDE (427)
3. PEARL JAM (629)             15      Unchartered Team
4. COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)       2
5. WRETCHED HORDE (608)         1      PEARL JAM (629)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 SAVAGE HORDE (427)        86  56  7 60.6   1/ 1 SAVAGE HORDE (427)        9  4 1
 2/ 3*PEARL JAM (629)           14  10  0 58.3   2/ 3 DOGS OF WAR (115)         7  8 0
 3/ 2 COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)    26  19  5 57.8   3/ 2*PEARL JAM (629)           5  3 0
 4/ 4 DOGS OF WAR (115)        719 904 30 44.3   4/ 4 COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)    2  1 0
 5/ 5*ZOMBIE SQUADS (634)        1   8  0 11.1   5/ 5*ZOMBIE SQUADS (634)       1  8 0
 6/ 0*WRETCHED HORDE (608)       0   1  0  0.0   6/ 0*WRETCHED HORDE (608)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                        6 Months Ago -- The Eastern Deserts

     The battlefield was shrouded in darkness, save for the torches carried by a
number of the soldiers and several magical orbs of light, which circled above lazily
at the command of the wizards.  The engagement had been a short one, as three huge,
lumbering Phase Dragons burst from the nearby caverns and ran straight into the fully
prepared army.  The archers took a savage toll on the beasts before the elite
gladiators charged in to finish the fray.  As the soldiers cleared the massive bodies
from the cavern mouth a small group of hooded men gathered a short distance away.
     "There is no question about it.  These are creatures from the Kaikwok Gate."
said Rillion, thoughtfully stroking his short beard. "I just don't understand how
they are accessing our world again despite the gate being completely sealed."
     Alongside the mage, the manager known as The Greek Guy sharpened a gleaming
battle axe.  "The Dark One said something about a rift or tear.  I'm not really up on
Gate Metaphysics, Rill.  All I know is they're here and they shouldn't be."
     "Managerr said they wouldn't be gone long." Added Rascally Rabbit, looking far
more sinister than his manager name implied, "and that we needed to hold this area
until they got back.  So that's what we need to do."
     One of the scouts shouted a brief warning and the soldiers assumed battle
formation once more.  The three arena managers stepped back behind a shield thrown up
by Rillion and prepared for a second engagement.  Within a moment, a snarling wave of
Jaguar warriors erupted from the cavern, pouring out toward the soldiers.
     The Greek Guy took the point and motioned to the troops.  "Move to engage!  Form
up!  Initiate Shield Wall!  Archers, volley fire!"
     A cloud of enchanted arrows hissed into the night, and then descended to shower
death upon the charging Jaguar warriors.  Scores of the beast men went down under the
fire but it was just a small fraction of their overall numbers.  Within a moment the
first ranks of the jaguars leapt upon the prepared troops, tearing and rending with
their razor sharp talons and fangs.  Despite the massive numbers, the shield wall
held, and the gate beasts seemed to be taking the worst of the exchange.  After a
moment, however, the Jaguar Warriors found some holes in the ranks and burst through,
creating havoc amongst the defenders.
     "Second line-- advance!  First line-- fall back!"
     The first defensive line fell back in an organized retreat, while a second wave
of defenders moved up.  Within a moment, they formed up to from a second defensive
line, while those formerly in the front line moved back to regroup.  At the same
time, another wave of arrows showered from the sky and cut down the confused Jaguar
     "We learned a lot from the first Gate incursion." Rillion commented to RR.  "The
Jaguar Warriors can be a terror one on one, but they don't fight well in organized
battles.  Those enchanted arrows help a lot, too.  One shot, one kill."
     Despite the confident words, the Jaguars were inflicting a savage toll on the
soldiers.  It was true, that the majority of the troops were gladiators and former
gladiators who were now protected by immortality magic, but still if they were
consumed by the Gate monsters, there would be no return.  As the battle raged, it
became clear that there were too many Jaguar warriors for the small army to defeat.
Rillion flicked his staff and sent a fireball into the Jaguar's flank.  It erupted
into a flaming explosion of heat and pressure, sending scores of the beast men
flying.  As he did so, the Rabbit gathered a nearby troop and rushed to cut off a
Jaguar offensive.
     The Greek Guy motioned for the trumpeters to sound the retreat.  "Back up the
hill!  Form defensive units.  Skirmishers forward to slow the advance."
     "This is not going well." Rillion commented as he blasted away a row of Jaguars
with a bolt of lightning.
     As he prepared a second bolt, he noticed a large vortex opening nearby.  A
travelling Gate was being opened.  Which meant either more Jaguars, or...?
     A second small army of heavily armored gladiator-soldiers appeared.  At their 
head rode Managerr, on a white stallion, and the Dark One, on his black gelding.
They motioned and their warriors charged into the Jaguar Warriors flank.  The numbers
now more even, the first army charged down the hill.  Within minutes the Jaguar
forces were destroyed.  Only a handful survived to flee back into the cavern.
     "Good timing."  Rascally Rabbit chuckled, his eyebrow arched, "You couldn't have
arrived just a touch sooner?"
     "It took us a while to scout out the ruins of our old training grounds on the
other side of the Kaikwok Gate." Managerr responded, "We stopped by to gather the
second division, as we thought we might need the manpower.  Apparently we were right.
The other side of the old Gate is completely empty.  They are all gone."
     "Gone?  There were millions of beings on that world.  You're telling me that
they're all gone?"
     The Dark One waved his staff and a vision of the Kaikwok Gate world appeared.
It was decimated.  Forests burned and blasted, temples shattered, riverbeds and lakes
dried up and shriveled.  "As he said.  All gone.  We detected residual magic.  Gate
magic.  I am not certain if it was left from an invader that came, exterminated that
world and enslaved what was left of the population or possibly the denizens of that
world developed Gate travel on its own and departed a dying world.  We have no way of
knowing which is the case."
     The Greek Guy received a message from one of the army runners, read it quickly
and motioned to his fellows.  "The engineers are ready."
     He motioned to a figure high up on the cliffside above the cave.  In a moment, a
thunderous explosion shook the ground.  Instantly a shower of boulders, shards of
stone and dirt rained down, burying the cavern opening under half the mountainside.
     Rillion nodded.  "That will do for this Gate access, but I expect there will be

           Three Months Ago -- The Dark Citadel -- Isle of of the Eye

     The Brotherhood of the Blade sat around the titanic obsidian table where they
often planned and plotted together.  This occasion was more serious, however, than
their usual debates over gladiatorial tactics and battle plans.  They were instead
embroiled in a lengthy discourse regarding the ongoing Gate incursions that had been
     "Sheila and her mage council can't figure out how to stop it." Managerr noted.
     "Sheila?"  The Greek Guy chuckled, "First name basis now, are we?"
     Managerr smirked at him.  "They can close the Gate opening when they find it,
but then another one opens somewhere else within a few days.  At some point they are
going to get access in a remote area and we won't find it in time.  If they can move
in a large force, it will be next to impossible to beat them back and close the
access.  It will be a mess."
     "And we still have no idea who is behind this and what's going on." Rillion
     "What we do know is that we don't have enough days in the week to keep running
around closing gates and fighting battles.  We're shorthanded.  Zalgor's missing in
action and Caesar is off-world fighting wars of his own.  Without their forces it's
even worse."  Rascally Rabbit shuffled through his roster.  "I've lost 15% of my
personal troops and I know you all have suffered losses as well."
     Managerr agreed.  "We're definitely short on members.  Mad Max and Tig Toad are
retired.  With Zalgor inactive and Caesar battling Picts or whatnot, we are at five
members.  Just barely enough in normal times and way short in these times."
     "We need to recruit some new members." The Greek Guy stated.  "We have a
tournament coming up and can talk to some managers there.  We need to find those who
are like-minded and who would get along with the rest of us, which is not always
     "Agreed." said the Dark One from beneath his cowl, "We can then announce our new
members.  We need more men and more troops.  I think we all have some candidates in
mind.  First, they must have no other allegiances.  Second, they must have the
martial knowledge we expect from our members.  And, the Greek Guy mentioned, they
have to be able to deal with us."

                        Present Day -- the Isle of the Eye
     One of the arena scribes rushed into the GC headquarters.  "We need 100 runners
to travel to every city in the land.  We're being paid 1,000 gold sovereigns to get
the news out!"
     "What news?"
     "The Brotherhood of the Blade is expanding!!  Here is the announcement!"
              *****                   *****                   *****
     Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Brotherhood of the Blade has chosen to add the following
new members to our ranks.  Effective immediately, the following managers have been
offered and have accepted membership to the Brotherhood:

May their successes be great and their victories many under our banner!

     Officially -- Managerr -- Grand High Moose of the Brotrotherhood of the Blade

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 707): RANDOM MANIAC of HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 590): POLISH CAVALRY of MISNOMERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 712): PERCIATELLI of PASTA (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 684): KID KOALA of COLLEGE RADIO #4 (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 708): JUST LOSIN of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 703): SWEET FREDDY of PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 712): SAW HORSE of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 696): SKYHAWK of VIKINGS (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 698): KILL KITTEN of ARDUIN GRIMOIRE (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 697): COLD SHOT of THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 663): CHESTER GRELL of MIDDLE WAY 17 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 652): BASKERVILLE PIG of HOLMES ON THE RANGE (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 302): WOXTON of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 645): WHERETHEHECKISTAN of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 596): MANNY LEHMAN of PANSY DIVISION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 541): INFERNO of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 253): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYERS (Assurnasirbanipal)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 589): SMELL CAREFULLY of STREET PIZZA (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 707): LOW ROAD 3 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 590): THE FUNNY FARM (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 712): GAMES LIBRARY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 684): SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 708): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 703): PSYCHO SQUAD (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 712): TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 696): FEARSOME FIVESOME (?, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 697): THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 652): JINDA-BAN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 302): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 645): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 596): PANSY DIVISION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 541): MIDDLE WAY 10 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 253): BASH BROS CABLE (Asssurnasirbanipal, mgr>)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 589) PUNCHLINES et al (The Upright Man, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 706): NAEGLING of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
                            WHISKEY of BOOZE (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 683): VAR-KHAN of SAVAGE HORDE (Hawk, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 708): JUST LOSIN of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 712): SAW HORSE of TOOL SHED (Leprechaun, mgr.)
               (turn 711): DEBBY of CHURCH LADIES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 697): COLD SHOT of THE BLUES (Buri, mgr.)
               (turn 696): RAZE of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 596): MANNY LEHMAN of PANSY DIVISION (Floyd, mgr.)
                             GALDOR O'HARE of DARK HORSEMEN (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 541): INFERNO of DISASTERS (Papa Bear, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt JHELUM will ever be the same.  And let's see, FENRIS KHAN fought SKULLHAMMER 
and gained 14 points and contributed to DOGS OF WAR's 4-1-0.  SKULLHAMMER has lost to 
FENRIS KHAN, falling 13 points, while helping make SAVAGE HORDE a 1-2-0 turn.  The 
attempts to dethrone the Duelmaster have failed, and KID KOALA remains JHELUM's top 
warrior for another turn.  By the way, was that our Duelmaster that I saw last night, 
cramped under the table at The Welcome Wench?   
     Oriental wise man once say, 'Hiding behind shields prevents proper sun tanning.' 
Inscrutable, but true.   
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  We'd like to remind certain teams not to rob the graves of their 
enemies.  You know who you are; and it's considered rude.   
     I like this place, JHELUM, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  Well, I'm burning daylight here in JHELUM and I've a long 
road ahead of me.  Happy Trails.  Until you see my quill in JHELUM again, farewell-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KID KOALA 5694                9   5  1    93       COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WARBURTON 6649               15  19  0    70       DOGS OF WAR (115)
-TUSK 6677                     7   1  1    68       COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FENRIS KHAN 6674             12  15  0    62       DOGS OF WAR (115)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JAEGER 6708                   9   4  1    56       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 ELDERLY WOMAN 6673            4   2  0    51       PEARL JAM (629)
 BUNKER BILL 6690             11   6  0    45       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 SKULLHAMMER 6709              7   6  0    40       SAVAGE HORDE (427)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DISSIDENT 6672                4   2  0    33       PEARL JAM (629)
 EARCUTTER 6736                2   4  0    25       SAVAGE HORDE (427)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DENUNZIO 6689                 2   0  1    22       COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)
 DARKSPEAR 6740                2   1  0    22       SAVAGE HORDE (427)
-TROLLFANG 6741                2   0  0    17       SAVAGE HORDE (427)
 MIKE MCCREADY 6711            4   1  0    14       PEARL JAM (629)
-ARGGH 6721                    1   0  0     9       ZOMBIE SQUADS (634)
 EDDIE VEDDER 6710             1   1  0     9       PEARL JAM (629)
 SUN TREE 6739                 1   3  0     6       DOGS OF WAR (115)
 GRRR 6724                     0   2  0     6       ZOMBIE SQUADS (634)
 DRUDGE 6471                   0   1  0     1       WRETCHED HORDE (608)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BLIND BETSY 6638       17 15 0 DOGS OF WAR 115      KID KOALA 5694        681  NOT REVENGED

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SHADOW 6621             1  2 0 SHADOW BLADES 623    JAEGER 6708           681  NOT REVENGED
BUB BYE 6750            0  1 0 ZOMBIE SQUADS 634    SHEWISH GIANT         685  NONE
BYE 6748                0  1 0 ZOMBIE SQUADS 634    DARK CHAMPION         685  NONE
SEE YA 6749             0  1 0 ZOMBIE SQUADS 634    STONE GOLEM           685  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Elderly Woman -- This is embarrassing.  For me, anyway. -- Fenris Khan

Earcutter -- What the heck?  I was still USING those ears! -- Sun Tree

Kid Koala -- I think I see a trend here. -- Warburton

Hey, the guy was DANGEROUS, okay? -- Jaeger

Skullhammer -- And that wraps up an ohfer turn for us.  Good thing Jorja isn't
inclined to use the Dark Arena, or we'd be in trouble. -- Bunker Bill

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BUB BYE was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
SEE YA was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a dull 3 minute brutal Dark Arena battle.
BYE was slain by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
KID KOALA bested CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a popular 1 minute Title contest.
WARBURTON defeated ELDERLY WOMAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SKULLHAMMER was devastated by FENRIS KHAN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
JAEGER devastated THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BUNKER BILL viciously subdued CAPTURED ORC in a 4 minute expert vs. beginner fight.
DISSIDENT won victory over DARKSPEAR in a 1 minute veteran vs. beginner duel.
EARCUTTER vanquished SUN TREE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MIKE MCCREADY beat DRUDGE in a 2 minute novice's melee.
GRRR was defeated by EDDIE VEDDER in a crowd pleasing 6 minute bloody novice's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       6         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -   5 -  2      67  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    20 -  14 -  1      59  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         BASHING ATTACK     8 -   6 -  1      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         AIMED BLOW        22 -  17 -  2      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   1 -  1      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  14 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY        8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         WALL OF STEEL      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 685 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  3         5  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         5 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  4         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       KID KOALA 5694              9   5  1   93 COLLEGE RADIO #4 (548)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   JAEGER 6708                 9   4  1   56 DOGS OF WAR (115)
TOTAL PARRY      BUNKER BILL 6690           11   6  0   45 DOGS OF WAR (115)
STRIKING ATTACK  SKULLHAMMER 6709            7   6  0   40 SAVAGE HORDE (427)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WARBURTON 6649.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GRRR 6724.  The ten other most popular fighters were BUB BYE 6750, KID KOALA 
6672, MIKE MCCREADY 6711, BYE 6748, and WARBURTON 6649.

The least popular fighter this week was SEE YA 6749.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were DRUDGE 6471, SUN TREE 6739, DARKSPEAR 6740, SKULLHAMMER 6709, ELDERLY 
WOMAN 6673, EARCUTTER 6736, WARBURTON 6649, BYE 6748, MIKE MCCREADY 6711, and