DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 06/13/2006    Duedate: 06/26/2006

KALTOS ARENA

DM-5    TURN-550

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

JILES
I HEART BALLS (498)
(5-4746) [9-3-0,94]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JILES                          BUCK NAKED
I HEART BALLS (498)            MASSAGE PARLORS (487)
(5-4746) [9-3-0,94]            (5-4654) [5-0-0,84]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

GLORIA IMBRO                   JILES
THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)         I HEART BALLS (498)
(5-4718) [10-11-1,65]          (5-4746) [9-3-0,94]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

MASSAGE PARLORS (487)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. MASSAGE PARLORS (487)       48
2. SPORTS GREATS (496)         25      I HEART BALLS (498)
3. I HEART BALLS (498)         14      Unchartered Team
4. PAPER MARIO (457)            0
5. THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)     -19      MASSAGE PARLORS (487)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 I HEART BALLS (498)       27   6  0 81.8   1/ 3*MASSAGE PARLORS (487)    10  1 0
 2- 2*PAPER MARIO (457)         12   3  1 80.0   2- 1*PAPER MARIO (457)         6  0 0
 3/ 3*MASSAGE PARLORS (487)     14   5  0 73.7   3/ 2 I HEART BALLS (498)       6  2 0
 4/ 5 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)   275 284 12 49.2   4/ 4 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)    2 13 0
 5/ 6*SPORTS GREATS (496)       12  15  3 44.4   5/ 6*SPORTS GREATS (496)       1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 546): TERCERO ENCANTO of LAB EXPERIMENTS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 430): THE SHOCKER of INQUISITION SL5 (LHI, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 554): FLAGPOLE PANTIES of FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 550): SCANDALF of THE SHALLOWSHIP (Elfwine, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 549): IAN of I HEART BALLS (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 553): HOBBLED of DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 551): UMBRELLA MAN of BEACH BABES (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 545): QUO VADIS of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 537): JOSH of SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 536): TUSK of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 510): PALADIN of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 500): ZIPPO of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 221): SKULK of CHEAP SHOTS (Cheap Shots Management, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 487): FOUR OF SPADES of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 436): GRAPE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 208): DANI of JANIX (KAT, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 196): BRANA GOREFANG of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 384): HOLLY MACKEREL of FISH MONGERS (Ghoti, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 173): MADKAWRAW'S LAW of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 429): HITZ of 4-LETTER DOCTORS from DWES EG (TUM, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 546): LIVE FROM MOSCOW! (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 430): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 554): FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 550): THE SHALLOWSHIP (Elfwine, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 549): PAPER MARIO (Luigi, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 553): WINGED LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 551): BEACH BABES (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 545): CHILDREN OF INTI (Noachian, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 537): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 536): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 510): ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 500): INQUISITION CLONES (LHI, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 221): THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 487): DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 436): AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 208): JANIX (KAT, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 196): VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 384): CHAOS ENFORCERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 173): OUTLAWS (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 429): BLACK PRIMERS (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 547): MOUSE DAVIS of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 551): UMBRELLA MAN of BEACH BABES (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 537): BARITUS of VINCERE AUT MORI (Dark Knight Toker, mgr.)
                (turn 536): LOAF of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
                            ARMPIT CANDY of STREET PIZZA (TUM, mgr.)
                            PLANKWALKER of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 536): TUSK of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 509): CLOVER of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 487): FOUR OF SPADES of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 435): GRANDMASTER of RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, in KALTOS a quiet thief gets rich, but a quiet spymaster gets poor.  
So bring me ale and harken to my tidbits of news.  It seems the training can make the 
difference, as PAPER MARIO is pushed out of top team by MASSAGE PARLORS, who came 
from 3rd with a 5-0-0 this turn.  And let's see, MICKEY MANTLE fought DANGEROUS 
CRIMINAL and gained 24 points and contributed to SPORTS GREATS' 1-2-0.  GLORIA IMBRO 
has lost to BUCK NAKED, falling 9 points, while helping make THE MIDDLE WAY 5 a 0-5-0 
turn.  Due to his absence and inability to defend the throne, IAN has lost the title 
of Duelmaster.  And all eyes were on JILES this turn as he ascended to the throne of 
Duelmaster.  KALTOS has a new victor!  By the way, was that our Duelmaster that I saw 
last night, cramped under the table at The Victory Tavern?   
     Oriental wise man once say, 'Hiding behind shields prevents proper sun tanning.' 
Inscrutable, but true.  I also notice that the PAPER MARIO stable was the most 
avoided team this turn.  Come on KALTOS, what are you afraid of?  And guess who 
avoided PAPER MARIO stable the most?  Believe it or not, it was SPORTS GREATS.  
Anyone surprised?   
     The Dark Arena is for those who cannot win, not who cannot lose with grace.  
Dignity in life or death is the warrior's creed.  A brave warrior does not carry a 
red shield, he has nothing to cover or hide when the fight is over.  Consider well.   
     Thought for the day, a new sword shines bright, but the notched sword sings the 
sweetest.  Always good to rest in KALTOS, but never good to wear out my welcome.  
Look for me in future turns.  Until you see my quill in KALTOS again, farewell-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JILES 4746                    9   3  0    94       I HEART BALLS (498)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-IAN 4737                      8   0  0   103       I HEART BALLS (498)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BUCK NAKED 4654               5   0  0    84       MASSAGE PARLORS (487)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GLORIA IMBRO 4718            10  11  1    65       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SUSHIE 4394                   5   1  0    56       PAPER MARIO (457)
 SHANNO 4725                  10   3  0    48       I HEART BALLS (498)
 MICKEY MANTLE 4715            4   1  0    48       SPORTS GREATS (496)
 RUB DOWN 4653                 4   0  0    35       MASSAGE PARLORS (487)
 FERGUS HILL 4805              7   7  0    34       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOT OIL MASSAGE 4673          2   0  0    28       MASSAGE PARLORS (487)
-TWINK 4396                    3   1  1    27       PAPER MARIO (457)
-STAR ROD 4391                 2   1  0    27       PAPER MARIO (457)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FAT SHERIFF 4672              2   0  0    22       MASSAGE PARLORS (487)
 ROD LAVER 4716                2   4  1    19       SPORTS GREATS (496)
-BOMBETTE 4399                 2   0  0    17       PAPER MARIO (457)
 HAPPY ENDING 4657             1   3  0    10       MASSAGE PARLORS (487)
 ELINDE GOSS 4841              2   1  0     7       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 JERI LOUGH 4840               1   3  0     6       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 ORVERD QUILL 4834             1   3  0     6       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DINEEN FOYLE 4827      1  2 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 453  TWINK 4396            547         
J. NICKLAUS 4717       4  3 1 SPORTS GREATS 496     HIGH ELF 615          550 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Hey, guys; four are prepped already for the Face.  We cannot afford to run only one.
(Even with the free fights!)  See you after Baltimore. -- Luigi, Paper Marios

Sushie -- What a bad-tempered little harridan you are!  Always out to slice-and-dice
the nearest person.  You won't make friends that way, girl. -- Fergus Hill

Bombette -- So, can all Shews blow up in people's faces, or is it just you? -- Jeri
Lough

Ian -- Kidney-and-onion balls to you, boy. -- Gloria Imbro
P.S.  With no bread, right?  You get no bread with one heart ball.

Rub Down -- Try that again and I'll bite your hand, see if I don't! -- Orverd Quill

Happy Ending -- And in fact, it was.  When I win, it's always a happy ending. --
Elinde Goss

Sushie -- I know a shapely fish when I see one.  Sort of a mermaid, yes? -- Fergus
Hill

Bombette -- (groaning)  I noticed! -- Orvered Quill

26 May 2006
     The Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire want to announce the joining of a new
member who cherishes the same ideals, respect and loyalty that we hold dear.
     From this day forward let all know that Blackstorm is now a Dark Knight of the
Desolate Empire Alliance.  With him as our chosen brother, our alliance only becomes
stronger.  Let all his foes become ours, and ours his.  May all our enemies' blood
flow freely and give NO quarter in war.
     This is also a warning to any cowards, bullies, etc....  If you play with fire,
you WILL get burnt!!!

Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

6 June 2006
To those involved, no, I have not abandoned your stories.  But I've been letting them
drift, and that has to stop, so I am taking the time to make sure that I know where
they are going, more than just "what happens next" dreamed up on the fly, before
resuming work on them.  No new stories will be started until at least one of the old
ones has concluded, for the same reason:  quantity can't substitute for quality.
Your patience in this matter is appreciated. -- the Scribe

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

J. NICKLAUS was dealt death by HIGH ELF in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
JILES demolished VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a popular 1 minute one-sided Title melee.
GLORIA IMBRO was devastated by BUCK NAKED in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
SHANNO defeated FERGUS HILL in a 1 minute match.
MICKEY MANTLE devastated DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 2 minute gory uneven brawl.
RUB DOWN devastated ROD LAVER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
FAT SHERIFF overpowered JERI LOUGH in a 1 minute uneven melee.
HOT OIL MASSAGE vanquished ELINDE GOSS in a 1 minute gory uneven duel.
HAPPY ENDING won victory over ORVERD QUILL in a popular 1 minute novice's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         STRIKING ATTACK   27 -   5 -  2      84  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         TOTAL PARRY       11 -   4 -  0      73  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   5 -  1      58  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   6 -  0      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW        10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         LUNGING ATTACK    18 -  18 -  2      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         WALL OF STEEL     16 -  20 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         BASHING ATTACK     0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 550 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         4  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  JILES 4746                  9   3  0   94 I HEART BALLS (498)
SLASHING ATTACK  BUCK NAKED 4654             5   0  0   84 MASSAGE PARLORS (487)
AIMED BLOW       SHANNO 4725                10   3  0   48 I HEART BALLS (498)
LUNGING ATTACK   MICKEY MANTLE 4715          4   1  0   48 SPORTS GREATS (496)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is GLORIA IMBRO 4718.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was JILES 4746.  The ten other most popular fighters were MICKEY MANTLE 4715, 
SHANNO 4725, RUB DOWN 4653, HOT OIL MASSAGE 4673, HAPPY ENDING 4657, BUCK NAKED 4654, 
FAT SHERIFF 4672, ORVERD QUILL 4834, J. NICKLAUS 4717, and ROD LAVER 4716.

The least popular fighter this week was ELINDE GOSS 4841.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were JERI LOUGH 4840, FERGUS HILL 4805, GLORIA IMBRO 4718, ROD LAVER 
4716, J. NICKLAUS 4717, ORVERD QUILL 4834, FAT SHERIFF 4672, BUCK NAKED 4654, HAPPY 
ENDING 4657, and HOT OIL MASSAGE 4673.

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY XLI

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
CAPTAIN CRUNCH 4330 (30-26-1)          7  3  0         TECHNOLOGY           
MANUTE BOL 4233 (30-20-0)              5  3  0         LARGE LOSERS         
SPOTTED PONY 3536 (0-0-0)              2  3  0         INDIANS              

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
THE IMPECCABLE PIG 3818 (23-13-0)      5  3  0         JUST DON'T CARE      
ICE FOX 3877 (16-8-0)                  1  3  0         OF WOLF AND MEN 4    

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
WOLFMAN JACK 4594 (9-1-1)              6  3  0         PARTY ANIMALS        

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
IAN 4737 (5-0-0)                      10  3  0         I HEART BALLS        
SAMANTHA FOX 4574 (10-6-1)             1  3  0         PARTY ANIMALS        

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
JILES 4746 (6-2-0)                     5  3  0         I HEART BALLS        

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ROD LAVER 4716 (2-2-1)                 4  3  0         SPORTS GREATS        
STAR ROD 4391 (0-0-0)                  3  3  0         PAPER MARIO          

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
LIGHTNING 4826 (0-0-0)                 5  3  0         OF WOLF AND MEN 4    

ELIGIBLES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
JANAE 3867 (67-49-3)                   0  3  0         BLADES OF CHAOS      

INITIATES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SUSHIE 4394 (2-0-0)                    2  3  0         PAPER MARIO          

APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MICKEY MANTLE 4715 (3-1-0)             7  2  0         SPORTS GREATS        
J. NICKLAUS 4717 (3-1-1)               3  3  0         SPORTS GREATS        
CAT STEVENS 4802 (1-1-0)               0  3  0         PARTY ANIMALS        

ROOKIES FOOLS TOURNEY                  W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
TUBBA BLUBBA 4395 (0-0-0)              4  3  0         PAPER MARIO          
BOMBETTE 4399 (0-0-0)                  0  3  0         PAPER MARIO          
SUGAR RAY 4828 (0-0-0)                 0  3  0         SPORTS GREATS