Date   : 10/17/2006    Duedate: 10/30/2006


DM-5    TURN-559

This Weeks Top Honors


(5-4715) [10-1-0,93]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SPORTS GREATS (496)            
(5-4715) [10-1-0,93]           

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)         THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
(5-4718) [15-15-1,68]          (5-4718) [15-15-1,68]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)      37
2. SPORTS GREATS (496)          4      PAPER MARIO (457)
3. PAPER MARIO (457)          -19      Unchartered Team

                                       MUSCLE RELAXERS (366)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 PAPER MARIO (457)         28  11  1 71.8   1/ 1 PAPER MARIO (457)         6  4 0
 2/ 2 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)   296 308 13 49.0   2/ 2 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)    6  9 1
 3/ 3 SPORTS GREATS (496)       21  23  4 47.7   3/ 3 SPORTS GREATS (496)       2  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, Warriors of KALTOS.  Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir to give 
you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport.  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 had 
cause to celebrate, after JERI LOUGH got 22 points by beating TWINK.  A certain 
someone should cut down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 17 points to 
JERI LOUGH.  (Discrete enough, TWINK?) MICKEY MANTLE successfully staved off a grab 
for the roses by FERGUS HILL of THE MIDDLE WAY 5.  Does KALTOS have no one talented 
enough to dethrone him?  So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls 
and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic problem...   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Like the noble eagle soaring amongst the 
mountaintops, so stand the warriors of THE MIDDLE WAY 5, alone and unchallenged.  The 
warriors of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 found their efforts at combat frustrated as PAPER MARIO 
apparently had more important things to do than fight.  Everyone is famous for 
fifteen minutes, and GLORIA IMBRO is it right now.  Most challenged warrior.  Isn't 
THE MIDDLE WAY 5 proud!   
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Ask not for whom the 
sword slashes; it slashes for thee.   
     Leave me now, you base fools!  Keep those sands bloody and the buzzards fat!  
Like a mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid KALTOS farewell-- 
Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MICKEY MANTLE 4715           10   1  0    93       SPORTS GREATS (496)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FERGUS HILL 4805             13  10  0    74       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
-SUSHIE 4394                   8   1  0    73       PAPER MARIO (457)
 GLORIA IMBRO 4718            15  15  1    68       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STAR ROD 4391                 6   3  0    53       PAPER MARIO (457)
 JERI LOUGH 4840               4   9  0    51       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 BOMBETTE 4399                 7   1  0    40       PAPER MARIO (457)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ELINDE GOSS 4841              5   7  0    31       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
-TUBBA BLUBBA 4395             1   2  0    30       PAPER MARIO (457)
 TWINK 4396                    6   4  1    29       PAPER MARIO (457)
 ORVERD QUILL 4834             5   8  1    24       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
M.J. 4844              2  2 1 SPORTS GREATS 496     BLACK ORC 616         559 NONE    
TY COBB 4842           1  1 0 SPORTS GREATS 496     HIGH ELF 615          559 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Star Rod -- You sound like a character in a really, really old sci-fi story.  About
vintage fifties, or even forties.  AND, you are a mean, nasty, underhanded golem.  In
fact, I don't think I've ever seen a golem whose hands are more under than yours. --
Gloria Imbro
P.S.  The real problem is to figure out how being underhanded can lead to getting the
upper hand.  This does not make sense.
P.P.S.  But then, golems don't make sense, either.

Mickey Mantle -- I salute you, worthy duel2dude.  Very clever of you to change your
name from Mickey Cloak.  That just doesn't have a ring to it.  But I digress.  I feel
that I leave the crown of Kaltos arena in good hands.  Whack it out of the park, if I
am remembering you correctly. -- Fergus Hill

Twink -- Where did the widdly twinks come from?  Kinda ooky just thinking about them.
It must be the kind of game only a golem would play, and a low-class golem at that.
Glad I'm out of it. -- Orverd Quill

Bombette -- I hate you.  I hate all tall, overstuffed women, not just you personally.
But you're definitely a specimen of what I hate. -- Elinde Goss
P.S.  Just so you know.

Persistent Beggar?  Well, if it gives me the only win on the team, I'll take it.
I'll even give him a couple of coppers. -- Jeri Lough the generous-in-victory

Bombette -- I dunno.  Bring me a lady and we'll see. -- Fergus Hill

Twink -- I twanked you, of course.  What else could I do, under the circumstances? --
Gloria Imbro

Star Rod -- Well... you are a golem, so I suppose you aren't to be expected to have
the finer sensibilities. -- Gloria Imbro

Bombette -- You want me to SHAVE? -- Orverd Quill, practitioner of the Perpetual Five
O'Clock Shadow

25 September 2006
It is obvious that the Dark Knights wish to be shown the light.  Allow me to step
forward and blind them with truth.  YOU ARE WORTHLESS!!!  The Dark Knights are so
afraid of the light that they hide behind their black armor and empty threats.  It is
too bad they are unwilling to actually FIGHT us!  I guess our natural light is too
bright for you all to face!  Fear us, for we are here! -- Gemini Goldphoenix,
Overlord of the Avengers of Light!

5 October 2006
*Turf War IV Rules*

     Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must:
     A.  Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork (DM
         47) newsletter.
Captains are responsible for:
     a.  verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance;
     b.  distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.
Managers must:
     a.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Gift Certificate to participate to:
          Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568), DM 47 -- North Fork, or
          Rick Stringer
          13 St. Michael's CT
          Elkton, MD 21921
     b.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance
         they will be fighting under in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter.
     1.  No scoring will begin until a Gift Cert is received.  No exceptions.
     2.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare and be verified by the
         Captain of the alliance he/she has claimed for;
     3.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  NO multiple aliases please.
         Violations will result in disqualification.
     4.  The contest will begin on the turn following the January F2F and run for 12
     5.  The turn  a declaration and verification will begin the scoring process.
     6.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 10 of the Turf
         War 5.
     7.  For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions.
                  Win     Loss     Kill     Die
Challenge          +2      -2       +5       -5
Match-Up           +1      -1       +1       -5
Bloodfeud          +2      -5       +5      -10
Champion           x2      x2       x2       x2
Downchallenge     -10      xx      -10       xx
Dark Arena        +10      -5       xx       xx
Special Scoring:
     a.  Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 2 points (team mentions only!)
     b.  Each Style Master is worth 2 points.
     c.  Duelmaster Throne is worth 2 points
     a.  Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory.  If declared, the Champion
         must be in the Adepts or lower brackets on the turn they are declared
         without having gone above the Adepts bracket at any time...including
         transferred teams.  (I'll be watching for this occurrence!)
     a.  Bloodfeuds count for all four (4) turns.  However, the same warrior may not
         be used all four turns.  4 turns means 4 separate warriors.  A penalty of
         -10 will be given to the team who violates this.
Special Conditions:
     a.  I reserve the right for all final decisions.
     b.  If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2.
     c.  If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong, I'll subtract points at the rate of
     d.  Each alliance begins with zero (0) points.
     e.  Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty
         (this means a warrior with 0 FE).
     f.  TVs won after the contest begins gain a 25 point one time score once the
         tourney reports are posted in the NL.
     g.  TCs won after the contest begins gain a 50 point one time score with the
         same conditions as noted for TVs.
     h.  NO switching alliance once verified by an alliance that a team has declared
     i.  Only 7 teams are permitted per alliance for the Turf War 5.
     Turf Wars are a "Winner Takes All" type contest.  All prizes and 100% of the RU
Certs will be given to the Captain of the winning alliance and it is his/her
responsibility to give these to the alliance membership.
     I have requested from RSI the following:
     a.  renaming of the orth Fork (DM 47) arena;
     b.  renaming of Dark Arena Monsters;
     c.  known favourite rhythms for one warrior on each team of the winning
         alliance.  This warrior would be in the Initiates or above brackets on the
         last turn of the Turf War (they must have at least one arena fight to
         receive this award).
               Baphomet, Host of TW5
Special Note:  A downchallenge is considered from a higher bracket to a lower
bracket.  Same bracket, more recognition points?  Not a downchallenge!

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

M.J. was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TY COBB was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
MICKEY MANTLE subdued FERGUS HILL in a exciting 1 minute gory Title melee.
STAR ROD was viciously subdued by GLORIA IMBRO in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brawl.
BOMBETTE narrowly defeated ELINDE GOSS in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody match.
TWINK was vanquished by JERI LOUGH in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
ORVERD QUILL was overpowered by MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         TOTAL PARRY        9 -   3 -  0      75  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -   3 -  0      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   5 -  0      62  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    22 -  22 -  2      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         WALL OF STEEL     11 -  12 -  0      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   5 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         AIMED BLOW         2 -   4 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         BASHING ATTACK     0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 559 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MICKEY MANTLE 4715         10   1  0   93 SPORTS GREATS (496)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    FERGUS HILL 4805           13  10  0   74 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
TOTAL PARRY      STAR ROD 4391               6   3  0   53 PAPER MARIO (457)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is GLORIA IMBRO 4718.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GLORIA IMBRO 4718.  The ten other most popular fighters were ELINDE GOSS 
ROD 4391, BOMBETTE 4399, M.J. 4844, TY COBB 4842, and TWINK 4396.

The least popular fighter this week was TWINK 4396.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were TY COBB 4842, M.J. 4844, BOMBETTE 4399, STAR ROD 4391, FERGUS HILL 
4805, ORVERD QUILL 4834, JERI LOUGH 4840, MICKEY MANTLE 4715, ELINDE GOSS 4841, and