Date   : 08/07/2007    Duedate: 08/20/2007


DM-5    TURN-580

This Weeks Top Honors


(5-4391) [21-6-0,102]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

STAR ROD                       POSITION IS EMPTY
PAPER MARIO (457)              
(5-4391) [21-6-0,102]          

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JERI LOUGH                     HELENE JUSTE
THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)         THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
(5-4840) [10-24-0,90]          (5-4875) [10-9-0,95]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PAPER MARIO (457)           39
2. TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)      20      PAPER MARIO (457)
3. SPORTS GREATS (496)          0      Unchartered Team
4. THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)      -2
                                       DECK OF APATHY (335)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 PAPER MARIO (457)         86  30  2 74.1   1/ 1 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)   10  5 0
 2/ 2 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)    42  28  3 60.0   2/ 2 PAPER MARIO (457)         8  2 1
 3- 3 SPORTS GREATS (496)       45  41  7 52.3   3/ 3 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)    6  9 0
 4/ 4 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)   345 364 13 48.7   4- 4 SPORTS GREATS (496)       1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

               + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Fishy Tale ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     "You're looking good, Bombette.  Of course, you always do...."  When she
whirled, Lord Protector Fergus Hill grinned at her.
     "What are you doing here?"
     "I missed you, so I came back."  He shrugged.  "Why not?  It isn't like I'm some
godling warrior to fight on the Isle."
     "The Lady allows this?"
     "I don't suppose she knows.  I never did make it all the way to the Isle.  Got
sidetracked off the coast of Ardivent, if you want to know the truth."
     "Sidetracked."  She snorted.  "What was her name?"
     "You wound me!  I wouldn't do something like that.  Not and then come back here,
anyway," he amended.
     Bombette nodded slowly.  Whatever else he might be, Fergus was trustworthy.
Even the Commission had seen that, and the gods knew they were usually blind to a
gladiator's true qualities.  "Okay, I concede it and withdraw the question.  What
sidetracked you?"
     "It's a little complicated how it happened," he said, "there was a storm, we got
blown into a little cove where we wouldn't otherwise have gone, that sort of thing.
But the gist of it is:  there was this sunken ship.  The water was so clear that I
could actually read the name on her bow:  Marie Celeste.  And--we stayed in the cove
overnight--I had this dream."  He took a deep breath and leaned closer.  "Treasure!"

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, Warriors of KALTOS.  Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir to give 
you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport.  PAPER MARIO had cause 
to celebrate, after TINY TOES got 20 points by beating EMBEZZLING SCRIBE.  Win some, 
lose some.  Speaking of which, MOON CHILD was winsome, after beating ELINDE GOSS and 
seeing her lose 15 points.  Can you believe it?  GRETZKY apparently has better things 
to do as KALTOS' Duelmaster than show up and fight!  What can be a greater victory?  
STAR ROD has taken its place as the top, as KALTOS' new Duelmaster.  So who's the 
team that's been walking into taverns last week and ordering milk?  Sounds like a PR 
stunt to me.   
     So much to report, so little time!  To quell some nasty rumors, the guys in TEAM 
CHAOS ELITE are not carrying any incurable diseases.  No need to avoid 'em.  As a 
woman of good breeding scorns the "warriors" of PAPER MARIO, so did that sorry team 
     Ah, the duel!  The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd!  Ask not for 
whom the sword slashes; it slashes for thee.   
     All good things must come to an end.  As if buffeted by forces of nature beyond 
my control, I must take my leave of this place.  Can anything compare to the pleasure 
of writing Spyreports for KALTOS?  On that giddy note I take my leave-- Novgorodny 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STAR ROD 4391                21   6  0   102       PAPER MARIO (457)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GRETZKY 4873                 11   3  0   103       SPORTS GREATS (496)
 BOMBETTE 4399                22   7  0   100       PAPER MARIO (457)
 HELENE JUSTE 4875            10   9  0    95       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JERI LOUGH 4840              10  24  0    90       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 ORVERD QUILL 4834            16  18  1    85       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 MOON CHILD 4878              10   4  0    81       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
 ELINDE GOSS 4841             14  19  0    71       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IRON MAIDEN 4880              8   6  0    56       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
 WRATHCHILD 4881              10   4  0    51       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
 OVERKILL 4882                 8   6  2    47       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
-TUBBA BLUBBA 4395             4   3  0    39       PAPER MARIO (457)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GERDIG IBBINS 4902            5   3  0    36       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLANK 4903                    4   1  0    31       PAPER MARIO (457)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TINY TOES 4913                1   0  0    20       PAPER MARIO (457)
-WOODS 4872                    0   1  0    17       SPORTS GREATS (496)
 ALICE IN CHAINS 4904          1   2  0    10       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Gretzky again?  Congrats, Champ. -- Luigi and The Paper Marios
P.S.  We want a DM Column.  We want a DM Column.

Jorja and Crew -- Twink thanks you for the compliment.  He really did it to that Wurm
Kin, didn't he?  Twinked him good! -- Luigi and The Paper Marios

Overkill -- You had way too much experience and expertise for little old noisy me.
Shucks! -- Clank

Jeri -- It was fun. -- Bombette

Bombette -- I've been told that one of my teammates has, ah, "given you your just
desserts," which he said involved a lot of chocolate.  Whatever. -- Jeri Lough
P.S.  I don't much care for the "hair standing on end" coiffure.  You might want to
rethink it.

Iron Maiden -- Those corsets aren't really good for you.  Sure, with a steel corset,
you can be POSITIVE that your waist will be narrow no matter what, but how do you
eat?  Obviously, you can't take anything but fluids, and this has grave
disadvantages.  Unless you're a vampire, of course, but I see no sighns of that. --
Helene Juste

Wrathchild -- What a nasty temper!  Somebody obviously spared the rod and spoiled the
child with you. -- Gerdig Ibbins

Gretzky -- Good save!  No way I wanted the title, and I did enjoy a few days of rest.
-- Orverd Quill

That's always amusing, to be matched against the Kung-Fu Master and defeat him
because he injures himself on my parries!  Gotta love it. -- Elinde Goss
P.S.  Of course, he doesn't teach worth spit.

Bombette -- (wincing)  Slingback pumps in the arena?  Not a good plan. -- Jeri

Twink -- Well...sure.  But you're still a GOLEM, and I guess you just can't help
yourself.  Unless, now that you've been Called by the Grey Witch, you can get
yourself "made real," so to speak.  After all, Pinocchio did it. -- Elinde

Iron Maiden -- Ooooh, come get me! -- Orverd Quill

9 July 2007
I have not been receiving my physical turns in a reliable manner lately.  If there
are diplos with the turns that go missing, they're gone for good.  So if you send me
a diplo and do not see an acknowledgement of receipt in the personals, know that I
have not gotten it (yet).  If you have email, contact me at Livia AT reality DOT com.

If you don't have email, keep trying with the diplos.  We are working on this
problem. -- the Scribe/Jorja/Leeta
P.S.  If you email me, put "Re DM" on the subject line.

27 July 2007
                        **  STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE II   **

Years have passed since the last Slaughterhouse, but the season is right for a return


*The actions begins TURN-263 (due approximately November 27, 2007)




*13 Turns (Turns 263-275)


*Teams will consist of two (2) managers.  No more, no less.  Only one team allowed
per manager.  Violators will be disqualified from the competition.  Old teams and new
teams are welcome to join the competition.  Once the contest has begun (TURN 263)
managers MAY NOT exchange teams or partners.


In the tradition of the Slaughterhouse, scoring will be simple and straight-forward.
Victory and achievements will be rewarded while defeats will be mocked and ridiculed.

+3 Win
+2 Kill (in addition to +3 Win for a total of +5)
+5 Team on the Move (Top Gainer(s) Only)
+3 Turn's Most Popular
+3 Turn's Least Popular
+5 Current Top Team (begins 3rd turn of contest)


*Fights against teammates garner NO POINTS.

*Fights against Judith's team (Northern Lights), Arena Stand Bys and the Dark Arena
garner NO POINTS (this includes DA kills).

*Tourney participation is allowed (even encouraged), but NO POINTS will be given for
success in those endeavors.

*NO POINTS will be awarded for DM, Popularity Leader, Chartered Recognition Leader,
Top Chartered Team, Stylemasters, Top Unchartered Team, and Unchartered Recognition
Leader.  Every effort has been made to insure scoring neither benefits established
teams nor new teams.


Entry into the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse is easy:

*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.


*ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

*KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a
Limited Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she
will be resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

*TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three
months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time,
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.


In the unlikely event of a tie, pre-contest established tie-breakers will be
consulted to determine a winner.  The tie-breaking criteria are known to the
Moderator and RSI.  They will not be made public knowledge to avoid any exploitation.


Master Darque will be serving as Master of Ceremonies for the Slaughterhouse II.  As
such, all his decisions are final.  Any rules inquiries should be directed to him.


Master Darque can be reached by Diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428) or you may email
him at the following address:  rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com.  Be sure to put
STORMCROWE in the Subject line of your Email so it can be easily spotted if sent to
his Spam folder.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HELENE JUSTE was unbelievably bested by BOMBETTE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute fight.
STAR ROD subdued JERI LOUGH in a popular 4 minute veteran's Title melee.
ORVERD QUILL vanquished IRON MAIDEN in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
ELINDE GOSS was defeated by MOON CHILD in a exciting 1 minute fight.
GERDIG IBBINS was viciously subdued by WRATHCHILD in a 2 minute gruesome brawl.
OVERKILL overpowered FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
ALICE IN CHAINS was devastated by CLANK in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
TINY TOES handily defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY       12 -   5 -  0      71  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         AIMED BLOW         7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   9 -  1      57  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   17 -  13 -  0      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         LUNGING ATTACK    23 -  22 -  3      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         WALL OF STEEL      5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK     7 -   7 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 580 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  2         3  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      STAR ROD 4391              21   6  0  102 PAPER MARIO (457)
STRIKING ATTACK  HELENE JUSTE 4875          10   9  0   95 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
SLASHING ATTACK  MOON CHILD 4878            10   4  0   81 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
AIMED BLOW       WRATHCHILD 4881            10   4  0   51 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
LUNGING ATTACK   GERDIG IBBINS 4902          5   3  0   36 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JERI LOUGH 4840.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HELENE JUSTE 4875.  The ten other most popular fighters were JERI LOUGH 4840, 
4902, ELINDE GOSS 4841, OVERKILL 4882, CLANK 4903, and TINY TOES 4913.

The least popular fighter this week was ALICE IN CHAINS 4904.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were IRON MAIDEN 4880, STAR ROD 4391, TINY TOES 4913, CLANK 4903, 
4834, and BOMBETTE 4399.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

STAR ROD (5-4391) PAPER MARIO (457)