Date   : 01/08/2008    Duedate: 01/21/2008


DM-5    TURN-591

This Weeks Top Honors


(5-4878) [15-7-0,133]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MOON CHILD                     STREET WISE WANDA
(5-4878) [15-7-0,133]          (5-4923) [1-0-0,16]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JERI LOUGH                     MOON CHILD
THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)         TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
(5-4840) [14-31-0,114]         (5-4878) [15-7-0,133]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)      41
2. THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)      35      PAPER MARIO (457)
3. TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)      -1      Unchartered Team
4. SPORTS GREATS (496)         -4
5. PAPER MARIO (457)          -11      KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 PAPER MARIO (457)        106  42  4 71.6   1/ 2 PAPER MARIO (457)         8  2 0
 2/ 0*KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)     3   2  0 60.0   2/ 1 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)    8  7 0
 3/ 2 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)    63  49  4 56.3   3/ 3 SPORTS GREATS (496)       5  6 2
 4/ 3 SPORTS GREATS (496)       65  53 12 55.1   4/ 4 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)    5 10 0
 5/ 4 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)   374 390 13 49.0   5/ 0*KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)    3  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     The prison magistrate, for want of a better term to describe the hardened
official behind the oak desk stationed in a secluded office of the Kaltos prison
system, nervously shuffled a stack of papers as the mysterious visitor studied his 
reactions.  Only mere moments ago the magistrate awkwardly cleared his throat and
reached for the stack of prison papers after reading the proclamation message that
the mysterious visitor clad in the Elven War Cloak had hand delivered bearing the
authentic authority seal of the Kaltos Arena Master.
     "Are ... are ... are you sure about this?" stammered the magistrate as he handed
the veteran manager a fistful of papers to review for himself.  The pointing finger
gesturing towards the parchment proclamation was all the confirmation the magistrate
needed.  This was a sanctioned message that gave the mysterious visitor the authority
to liberate the prisoners of his choice from the Death Sentence of the Kaltos prison
system, to serve as gladiators in a newly registered stable that would debut on the
Kaltos Arena sands after the New Year.
     "It has come to my attention from a multitude of my sources," reaffirmed the
mysterious cloaked visitor, "that many of these prisoners in the Kaltos prison system
were wrongly sentenced to Death for crimes they may or may not have committed.  The
problem is the decisions are irreversible."
     The magistrate squirmed uncomfortably at the cold stare from beneath the cloaked
hood.  He knew these allegations were true enough to cost him not only his position,
but his very life if certain officials became privy to the information.  In all
probability the magistrate was living on borrowed time anyway and it was now in his
best interest to comply with his unexpected visitor for any possible chance at
preserving his own contemptible life; especially since the connections of his
mysterious visitor may be his only hope for defying certain death at the hands of
unscrupulous officials in higher offices who had placed him in this awkward position
in the first place.
     "An irreversible decision," continued the cloaked visitor, "that grants the
prisoners of my choice the opportunity to fight in Kaltos Arena for their only option
to stay the executioners blade with the possible reward of Graduating to the Grey
Wand Isle!"
     "Of course," agreed the magistrate as his visitor selected the candidates to
populate his newly registered stable, "and if Vengeance sees fit...then they will Die
in the Arena at the Expense of Your Coffers...rather than at the expense of the city
treasury!"  His nervous chuckle died away into deafening silence as the veteran
manager made his final selections, along with several stays of execution for other
prospects to populate his new stable when the future time or circumstances required.
     "Have these candidates delivered to my trainer BluddSynnDorr before the noon day
sun crests the prison walls tomorrow," ordered the cloaked veteran manager as he
stood to conclude his order of business with the nervous magistrate.
     "Where...where...where shall I locate this...BluddSynnDorr..." stammered the
magistrate as he signed the necessary papers and handed them to the veteran manager.
"I mean...which stable training ground do I send these...prisoners...err...I mean...
gladiator...prospects...property...persons..."  Another cold stare from within the
hooded cloak gave the magistrate pause while perspiration poured down his neck like
rivulets of melting icicles.
     "The stable is well marked and well known," grinned the veteran manager.  "You
will find BluddSynnDorr awaiting his new charges at the Kaltos Kriminals training

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Sorry, guys, but I just don't have the energy to write a column.  Fergis wore me

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  We now have a new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  PAPER 
MARIO now holds the crown and they are betting they can keep it.  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 is 
no joke as it posted a 5-0-0 week advancing from 4th place to 4th place.  Hey 
everybody, watch out for STREET WISE WANDA, who flew up 16 points in the rankings 
after mashing PERSISTENT BEGGAR like a melon.  Keep your eye on this gal.  And 
falling like a basher in the top ten was IRON MAIDEN, who dropped 8 points after a 
disappointing (to say the least) bout with JERI LOUGH.  Drawing on all of hers 
experience as a 14-7-0 warrior, MOON CHILD went for the Duelmastership against 
BOMBETTE this week.  In front of all the crowds, MOON CHILD took the Duelmaster's 
crown for hers own.  I give the bum two weeks.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed 
protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the KALTOS arena.  Did you 
hear that THE MIDDLE WAY 5 was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of THE MIDDLE WAY 5's warriors, I'm not surprised!  For those of you 
who like math, try this one:  THE MIDDLE WAY 5 + Weapons That go Boom = TEAM CHAOS 
ELITE + Avoid City.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of JERI LOUGH, who was 
this week's most challenged warrior.   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Knowing when to use the right tactics at the proper time 
is a very important step on the road to Duelmaster.   
     Well, there's the manager of the KALTOS giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOON CHILD 4878              15   7  0   133       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JERI LOUGH 4840              14  31  0   114       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 BOMBETTE 4399                30   9  0   109       PAPER MARIO (457)
 ORVERD QUILL 4834            22  23  1    93       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-WOODS 4872                    5   4  2    89       SPORTS GREATS (496)
 ELINDE GOSS 4841             20  24  0    87       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 IRON MAIDEN 4880             13  10  0    85       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
 GERDIG IBBINS 4902           12   7  0    71       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 CLANK 4903                   10   3  1    68       PAPER MARIO (457)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OVERKILL 4882                13  10  2    57       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WRATHCHILD 4881              11  10  0    45       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
 ALICE IN CHAINS 4904          6   6  1    43       TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
-TUBBA BLUBBA 4395             4   3  0    39       PAPER MARIO (457)
-INSANITY 4625                 3   1  0    38       MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (476)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLINKY 4915                   4   4  1    32       PAPER MARIO (457)
 TINY TOES 4913                3   3  0    26       PAPER MARIO (457)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRADY 4917                    3   1  2    22       SPORTS GREATS (496)
 STREET WISE WANDA 4923        1   0  0    16       KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)
 SHADY LARRY LARUE 4922        1   0  0    14       KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)
 WANTED FOR MURDER 4921        1   0  0     9       KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)
 MONTANA 4918                  2   2  0     8       SPORTS GREATS (496)
 JAMMY LARKE 4926              1   1  0     7       THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
 ASSAULT N BATTERY 4920        0   1  0     1       KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)
 TRICK PONIE POLLY 4924        0   1  0     1       KALTOS KRIMINALS (514)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
TY COBB 4914            1  1 0 SPORTS GREATS 496    ALICE IN CHAINS 4904  587  NOT REVENGED
ILTOMING KUPP 4919      0  1 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 453 BRADY 4917            589   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jorja -- I suspect you go for the long, lean, sinuous masculine cowpoke type, and I
know I go for the long-legged, perky, cute type--and after all that beer everyone
within sight matched up quite well with our every expectations!  Great party! --
P.S.  Today, nothin' looks or feels good.

     A good reason not to let a party end.

Jeri -- Of course they are envious and blocking me.  Jealous meanies!  And now I want
out so I can get to the Isle and get my hands on Fergis every day. -- Bombette
P.S.  Another great fight.  We'll get this dance routine perfect yet.

     Maybe some music...?

Brady -- You have to be at your best if you want to challenge me.  I intercepted you
way too often. -- Slinky

Wrathchild -- Man, I really made a lot of noise in that fight, didn't I? -- Clank

Zaharius -- What a cold manager you had!  Sending a Babe to the DA?  Disgusting. --

Bombette -- Some days, I just get really tired of this, you know?  I realize you
don't have much in the way of choices, well, neither do I, of course, but some
days... maybe I should just sleep in. -- Jeri Lough

     If you figure out how, let ME know.

Woods -- Right, and fields and streams, too.  Pardon me if I'm not thrilled, but
they're dripping down the back of my neck, okay? -- Gerdig Ibbins

Moon Child -- Where is an eclipse when I really need one? -- Elinde Goss

Iron Maiden -- Wow, I barely survived your steely embrace.  Maybe I should think
about... avoiding you?  But then, who else is there to fight? -- Orverd Quill

Montana -- Surely it isn't supposed to be like that?  I mean, shouldn't *I* have won?
-- Jammy Lark

Luigi -- Consider that we have entered a time stasis, things are so busy here
(somewhere else), there is no time to develop the party theme properly. -- Jorja

Kaltos Killers -- Here is your opportunity to serve as judge, jury and executioner
when facing any or all Kaltos Kriminals on the arena sands! -- BluddSynnDorr/Kaltos
Kriminals special trainer

     The Regional Arena News is down for repairs but will return soon.

22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such.  Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text.  Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

IRON MAIDEN was devastated by JERI LOUGH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MOON CHILD viciously subdued BOMBETTE in a 3 minute expert's Challenge Title battle.
ALICE IN CHAINS was vanquished by CLANK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
TINY TOES overpowered MONTANA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ORVERD QUILL devastated OVERKILL in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
ELINDE GOSS defeated VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 2 minute veteran's struggle.
GERDIG IBBINS devastated WRATHCHILD in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
SLINKY was viciously subdued by DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 2 minute gruesome melee.
BRADY won victory over TRICK PONIE POLLY in a action packed 3 minute novice's duel.
JAMMY LARKE viciously subdued ASSAULT N BATTERY in a 2 minute brutal novice's fight.
WANTED FOR MURDER overcame PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a tiresome 4 minute novice's bout.
SHADY LARRY LARUE demolished MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
STREET WISE WANDA devastated PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         TOTAL PARRY       10 -   5 -  0      67  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL      6 -   4 -  0      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK    12 -   8 -  2      60  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -   8 -  1      58  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         SLASHING ATTACK   20 -  15 -  1      57  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    22 -  19 -  4      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         AIMED BLOW         2 -   6 -  0      25  |

Turn 591 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         3  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  0                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  MOON CHILD 4878            15   7  0  133 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
TOTAL PARRY      BOMBETTE 4399              30   9  0  109 PAPER MARIO (457)
LUNGING ATTACK   GERDIG IBBINS 4902         12   7  0   71 THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)
BASHING ATTACK   CLANK 4903                 10   3  1   68 PAPER MARIO (457)
AIMED BLOW       WRATHCHILD 4881            11  10  0   45 TEAM CHAOS ELITE (509)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JERI LOUGH 4840.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was MOON CHILD 4878.  The ten other most popular fighters were BRADY 4917, ORVERD 
WANDA 4923, JERI LOUGH 4840, CLANK 4903, TINY TOES 4913, and ASSAULT N BATTERY 4920.

The least popular fighter this week was WANTED FOR MURDER 4921.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were TRICK PONIE POLLY 4924, WRATHCHILD 4881, OVERKILL 4882, MONTANA 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

JERI LOUGH (5-4840) THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (453)