Date   : 08/01/2003    Duedate: 08/14/2003


DM-6    TURN-479

This Weeks Top Honors


(6-5493) [17-7-1,107]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

VIZZERDRIX                     SPIDERMAN
BATTLE BEASTS (464)            SUPER HEROES (492)
(6-5493) [17-7-1,107]          (6-5622) [3-3-0,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ASHANTI                        SPIDERMAN
KREWE OF DRUID (369)           SUPER HEROES (492)
(6-5352) [12-15-2,92]          (6-5622) [3-3-0,33]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SUPER HEROES (492)          35
3. HEME-JO CONDITION (495)     23      Unchartered Team
4. BATTLE BEASTS (464)         23
5. DARK PANTHEON (317)         20      JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)       6   3  2 66.7   1/ 3 SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)   7  8 0
 2/ 3 STR8 OUTTA ROCKRID (490)  14   8  0 63.6   2/ 6*JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)      6  3 2
 3/ 4*SUPER HEROES (492)        18  11  0 62.1   3/ 2 BATTLE BEASTS (464)       6  3 0
 4/ 5 BATTLE BEASTS (464)       89  65  5 57.8   4/ 5 KREWE OF DRUID (369)      6  4 1
 5/ 6 DARK PANTHEON (317)      385 304 23 55.9   5- 1 SCIENCE FICTION (456)     6  4 1
 6- 7 SCIENCE FICTION (456)    108  96  5 52.9   6/ 4*SUPER HEROES (492)        5  6 0
 7/ 0*CONTROL (390)              1   1  0 50.0   7- 7*TWILIGHT SHADOW (468)     3  2 1
 8/ 8 SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)  171 183 19 48.3   8- 8 NIGHT TRAIN (497)         3  2 0
 9/ 9 KREWE OF DRUID (369)      67  80  5 45.6   9/10 DARK PANTHEON (317)       2  3 0
10-10*TWILIGHT SHADOW (468)      9  11  1 45.0  10/11*HEME-JO CONDITION (495)   2  8 1
11-11*CROSS BREED (467)          6   8  0 42.9  11- 9*CROSS BREED (467)         1  0 0
12-12 NIGHT TRAIN (497)        178 279 17 38.9  12/13 STR8 OUTTA ROCKRID (490)  1  0 0
13/13*HEME-JO CONDITION (495)    2   8  1 20.0  13/ 0*CONTROL (390)             1  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     "Not a bad day-byoo, boys," Jethro said, leaning back in his chair.  It was the
only decent chair that could be found anywhere in the dilapidated former farmhouse
that served as the practice facility for Jethro's Tools.
     The team's four surviving warriors stood around the table in the building's
grubby kitchen, each of them still slick with sweat and blood from the day's fights.
No one was allowed to bathe, or tend to their wounds, until Jethro was finished with
his post-match 'pep talk.'  Breaking that rule meant harsh punishment for the entire
team, just as with any of Jethro's other innumerable (and often senseless) rules:
Never use anyone's real name, just their fighting name.  No talking after lights-out.
No talking to other warriors, even your teammates, outside the arena unless Jethro
was present.  They had broken the rules a few times in the early days, and still had
the scars to prove it.  Now they just shut up and listened.
     "Shame about ol' Monkey-boy, o' course," Jethro continued airily, "but that's
the price ya pay for lettin' your attention slip.  Mebbe it's a good thing somethin'
like this happened early on.  Mebbe it'll teach y'all just how serious it gets out
there.  Ya spend too much time flappin' your gums, chasin' women, writin' up damnfool
     <There it is again,> Alain thought.  <That little glint of red in his eyes.  Why
doesn't anyone else *see* it?  They have to know what he is--don't they?  But then
again, *I* didn't see it until I signed my life away-->
     "So you think it was Steel Monkey that wrote it?" Warchild asked.  There was no
need to specify what 'it' was.  The brief, incoherent document condemning Jethro had
made its way through the streets of Transel with remarkable speed, and even Jethro's
quick efforts at spin control hadn't stopped it.  Afterwards, he had been livid,
putting the team through an abnormally brutal practice regime while screaming
obscenities with every breath.  He swore by all the gods that he would find the
responsible warrior and punish him with weeks of excruciating torture, all described
in stomach-turning detail.
     Now, the rest of the team held their breaths while waiting for Jethro's
response.  None of them had yet been dumb enough to mention the document to Jethro's
face.  Warchild was young, though, and might not realize what he was in for.
     Jethro just looked at the young warrior for a long moment, boring into him with
those flat, dead eyes.  "Mebbe he did and mebbe he didn't," he said finally.  "If he
did, he got off easy.  If not, whichever one of y'all *did* write it will be jealous
of how quick he died when I find out who it was.  And I *will* find out, don't you
doubt it."  His accent slipped just a little on the last sentence, and his eyes
flickered red once more.
     Alain felt Jethro's mind brushing lightly across his own, and he thought very
carefully about nothing at all until the feeling passed.  He wondered if the others
had felt it, if they had found a way to keep Jethro out of their thoughts; but of
course, he didn't dare ask them.  He didn't even know if his own attempts at mental
defense were really working, but Jethro hadn't killed him yet, and that was a good
     At last, Jethro spat.  "Hell with it," he grunted.  "Y'all get your sorry
carcasses outta my sight and cleaned up.  We got another golem comin' in tomorrow;
y'all clean up the Monkey's junk so we have a space on the wall to lean the new guy
up against.  Double practices tomorrow; I don't want you gettin' lazy on me just
'cause you won your first fights.  It don't get no easier from here on out, boys.
You remember that.  Now move."  Silently, the team dispersed and went to the baths.
     <I know I'm not the only one,> Alain thought to himself.  <*Someone* wrote that
little manifesto, and I know it wasn't Steel Monkey; he couldn't even read, much less
write.  So which of the others was it?  And how will I find out?  And even if I do
find out, what can we possibly do about it?>
     As exhausted as he was after the day's duel, it was a long time before he
managed to sleep.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 474): CIARAN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 479): DUNE of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 476): BAQA of ABBY NORMAL (Poppa Balrog, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 478): ASHANTI of KREWE OF DRUID (The Druid, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 475): BAYUSHI KACHIKO of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 470): HOTTA WATTA of TOWNSVILLAINS (The Narrator, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 461): QUEUE of NEXT GENERATION (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 460): SARA DIVINE of SWORD OPERA (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 434): M. THRASHER of 5440 OR FIGHT! (Mordraith, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 425): GAR & BRILL of JUST BECAUSE (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 184): B.A. TURRY of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 412): PUDDING PARADE of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 170): MICROSOFT of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 158): HOFFA WITH HAIR of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 310): EURO STEAMER of AS SEEN ON TV (Indimar Fallon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 135): EVE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 353): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 474): SOUL HAREM (?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 359): RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 479): SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 476): ABBY NORMAL (Poppa Balrog, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 474): PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 478): SCIENCE FICTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 475): none
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 470): QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 461): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 460): IRONIC TAILS (Mr. Twister, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 434): 5440 OR FIGHT! (Mordraith, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 425): ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 184): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 412): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 360): SORROW'S HARVEST (Gergin "Happy Toes" Frothingslosh)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 170): USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 158): THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 310): FREAKSHOW (Elephant, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 135): FREELANCERS (Jinx, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 353): THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 473): KOGITSUNE MARU of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 479): DUNE of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
                          MX of THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 475): BETSY of DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 478): ZOT ZIPZIG of NIGHT TRAIN (Teet, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 475): MALT LICKER of WISH YOU WERE BEER (Alfredo Frothingslosh
               (turn 474): WILL DUEL FOR FOOD of SPARE-A-DIME SHIFT (Chazz 
                           Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                           ISAWA TADAKA of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 470): SIR VILE of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
               (turn 469): SUNNY SIDE UP of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 460): FLUFFY of BURN N' PILLAGE (Jolly, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 460): THE SICKNESS of BLACKEST PRIDE (Sylvester Frothingslosh)
               (turn 459): MADAM BUTTERFLY of SWORD OPERA (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 433): ANGRY WASHINGTON of 5440 OR FIGHT! (Mordraith, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 183): HOCKEY DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 411): COOKIE SNORT of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 359): REAP THE FIELD of SORROW'S HARVEST (Gergin "Happy Toes"
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 169): SEX ON THE BEACH of INDULGENT DRINKS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 309): P.B. BLASTER of AS SEEN ON TV (Indimar Fallon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 135): EVE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Bow down before your Queen.  Now.

Ivanmoe, your master, Saucy Jack, is a wise man.  He predicted the result of our
fight perfectly.  Brave though that you are, I trust that you will avoid me from now
on.  I must say also that I was surprised that someone of your style only just
received that rating.  Very strange, but then again its strange for a warrior of your
style to have 4 kills and such a record.  Well done.

On to bigger and better things.  Who to challenge....hmmmm...well, my choices are
limited.  Honor requires that I issue a challenge to my most hated foe in Transel.
That would be Vizzerdrix, who has kicked my rather supple and perfectly formed butt
no less than 4 times.  However, I was on maintenance for those battles, so perhaps a
change in strategy is all that is required.  My goals before leaving these environs
to gain my rightful place among the immortals are to 1)  be over .500, and 2) beat/
kill Vizzerdrix.  I'm going to avoid Zot Zipzig because he's out of here anyhow...
sorry Patch:)  After that, I plan on killing Spongebob.  But you knew that already,
didn't you, love?

As for my stats, I was going to tell you all that I am 37D - 25 - 36 and that some
say I am the spitting image of Naomi Campbell, but the Druid has informed me that you
are probably more interested in my more mundane characteristics.  I will reveal them
to you when I graduate.  They are impressive (almost as impressive as my appearance).
Until then, I remain your Nubian Queen,

Ashanti, Duelmistress of Transel

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly TRANSEL games.  Former top team SCIENCE FICTION was 
unseated this week as SOUL STRIPPERS II moved up from 3rd ranking to take the top 
spot with a 4-1-0 record for the round.  There were bitter words at SCIENCE FICTION's 
guildhouse after a 0-0-0 showing this week which dropped the stable into 5th.  Dark 
Arena anyone?  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness 
how this week JETHRO'S TOOLS went 2-2-0 to move up 4 in the rankings.  Did only my 
eyes note the 4-1-0 record which SOUL STRIPPERS II managed to post this round?  I 
don't doubt that such a record will draw challengers!  BEN WEINSTEIN caught the eye 
of many in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested IVANMOE and was 
awarded 30 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, BEN 
WEINSTEIN put down IVANMOE, causing him to lose 23 points of recognition in the 
process.  This time out VIZZERDRIX made his bid for the throne as he challenged 
ASHANTI in an all out contest of skill for possession of the title!  This time 
victory fell to the grasp of the usurper.  All hail VIZZERDRIX, Duelmaster of 
TRANSEL!  Informants "close" to the city champion have told me that he never fights 
without pantyhose on beneath his armor.  Watch out!   
     But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades 
that is city TRANSEL.  I saw one fighter that warriors avoided when this week's 
challenge seeking began.  HEME-JO CONDITION is feared.  This much I can say.  
Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was that spent the better part 
of last week avoiding HEME-JO CONDITION.  Indeed it was JETHRO'S TOOLS.  Loose talk 
at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters 
are after PLAINSMAN.  Watch your back!   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Many townsmen have begin to remark over the fact 
that after one more round of duels IT'S NEW!'s Bloodfeud against IVANMOE will have 
expired.  BLACK MAMBA must hold silent, for this week he was humbled in the arena by 
a successful Bloodfeud won by MITSURGI of HEME-JO CONDITION.  Hail MITSURGI for thy 
victory!  Dark alleys may hide both secrets and assassins.  In the arena there is 
only the brightness of steel.  Keep vigil always!   
     The girls are as pretty in TRANSEL as ever I remembered them....and the fighters 
as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  More than a sharp eye must I keep, indeed 
a stout pair of legs must I keep as well!  The endless paths of Alastari await me!  
Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a 
different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VIZZERDRIX 5493              17   7  1   107       BATTLE BEASTS (464)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASHANTI 5352                 12  15  2    92       KREWE OF DRUID (369)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SPONGEBOB 5460               15   8  0    89       BATTLE BEASTS (464)
-DELAPP 5686                  11   6  0    89       NIGHT TRAIN (497)
-DARKFURY 5029                22  12  0    88       DARK PANTHEON (317)
 BEN WEINSTEIN 5613            7   5  0    88       STR8 OUTTA ROCKRIDGE (490)
-JOHN CHRICHTON 5563          12   6  0    82       SCIENCE FICTION (456)
 GRIZZLY ADAMS 5596           12   5  1    79       BATTLE BEASTS (464)
-DARK THUNDER 5397             9   4  0    73       DARK PANTHEON (317)
-RABID PROPHET 5438            5   1  0    73       CROSS BREED (467)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IVANMOE 3874                 12   4  4    62       SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PLAINSMAN 3915               10   4  0    53       SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)
 PANDORA 5459                 14  10  0    52       KREWE OF DRUID (369)
-HAN SOLO 5598                 8   7  0    52       SCIENCE FICTION (456)
-BATGIRL 5623                  5   1  0    50       SUPER HEROES (492)
-SERENGETI 5627                8   3  0    34       BATTLE BEASTS (464)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPIDERMAN 5622                3   3  0    33       SUPER HEROES (492)
-TEAL'C 5661                   2   0  1    33       SCIENCE FICTION (456)
 SECOND OMEN 5642              2   2  0    28       DARK PANTHEON (317)
 KAIARI 5656                   2   3  0    27       SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)
-BARRTANA HAVAL 5464           5   3  0    26       TWILIGHT SHADOW (468)
 MITSURGI 5667                 2   0  1    24       HEME-JO CONDITION (495)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-R. WELCH 5679                 6   5  0    23       NIGHT TRAIN (497)
-CASEOPEIA 5643                5   2  0    22       SCIENCE FICTION (456)
 !BATMAN! 5758                 1   0  0    20       SUPER HEROES (492)
-C. PARRY 5675                 3   1  0    18       NIGHT TRAIN (497)
 FAT MAN 5752                  2   0  1    17       JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)
 STRIPERELLA 5757              1   0  0    15       SUPER HEROES (492)
-SHAMIAS WILDROCK 5461         2   2  1    13       TWILIGHT SHADOW (468)
 UNCLE SPANKY 5658             2   3  0    13       SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)
 SEA LION 5751                 2   0  0    13       JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)
 PHILOSONONYMOUS 5660          2   2  0    12       SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)
 ZONE 4547                     1   0  0    11       CONTROL (390)
-DARK GERBIL 5442              1   0  0    11       CROSS BREED (467)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DIANE 5673                    2   1  1     8       KREWE OF DRUID (369)
-GREEN HORNET 5647             2   2  0     8       SUPER HEROES (492)
-ABBAS ASH'SHAM 5463           1   1  0     6       TWILIGHT SHADOW (468)
 BLACK MAMBA 5753              1   1  1     5       JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)
-ANGEL 5654                    1   2  0     5       SCIENCE FICTION (456)
 WARCHILD 5754                 1   1  0     4       JETHRO'S TOOLS (498)
 SHEMAN DO 5665                0   2  0     2       HEME-JO CONDITION (495)
 JACK CACOON 5664              0   2  0     2       HEME-JO CONDITION (495)
-DOC SLEAZEE 5633              0   1  0     1       CROSS BREED (467)
 DEMON-X 5759                  0   1  0     1       DARK PANTHEON (317)
-PSYCHO REAVER 5441            0   1  0     1       CROSS BREED (467)
 FUNK 4544                     0   1  0     1       CONTROL (390)
 HENNECKE 5760                 0   1  0     1       HEME-JO CONDITION (495)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DRONE 5662             0  2 0 BATTLE BEASTS 464     GRANITE GARGOYLE 554  479 NONE    
XX 5579                0  2 0 DARK PANTHEON 317     KOLDIS THE CRAFTY 549 479 NONE    
HENRY MACE 5666        0  2 0 HEME-JO CONDITION 495 KOLDIS THE CRAFTY 549 479 NONE    
MISS STRIDER 5663      0  1 0 HEME-JO CONDITION 495 BLACK MAMBA 5753      478 JUST REV
STEEL MONKEY 5750      0  1 0 JETHRO'S TOOLS 498    SHAMIAS WILDROCK 5461 478         
BATMAN 5624            4  2 0 SUPER HEROES 492      TEAL'C 5661           478         
NARREESA GRAYHAN 5462  0  4 0 TWILIGHT SHADOW 468   FAT MAN 5752          478         
HAJIL THA'NI 5465      1  1 0 TWILIGHT SHADOW 468   DIANE 5673            478         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Howdy to Jethro (nice first turn), Heme-Jo Condition (hang in there), and BPR (you
old so-and-so).  I am very glad you all could make it.  Should be two more here soon
as well, and I don't give up on things so there will be more as we can see to it.  
Welcome also Twilight Shadow, who I do not know, but am glad to see all the same. --
Saucy Jack, yr. ob'd'nt 'umble mgr., Soul Strippers

Ashanti -- Lovely indeed, but if that was your idea of gentle, I think you're too
much woman for the likes of me.  I don't have the constitution, if you know what I'm
saying.  (No, not that, really.  I don't have the con.) -- Ivanmoe

Second Omen -- But who, my friend, loves us more than we ourselves love...
ourselves...um.  Why shouldn't I delight at the sound of my own voice?  And you as
well!  Everyone!  Proclaim your value, your sense of worth, your self-love (in non-
graphic terms please, I haven't the strongest stomach).  Talk for the sake of talking
and revel in the gratuitiousness of speech, since nobody really has anything to say
anyhow.  Does anybody really know what time it is?  Does anybody really care?  About
time? -- Philosononymous

Jan, Jan, Jan -- All rightie, then. -- Saucy Jack

BPR -- Eh.  I want Ivanmoe to fight Zot about as much as I wanted him to fight
Ashanti.  Let's fight a little below the top, say, oh I dunno, maybe more like in the
initiates? -- Saucy Jack

Druid -- Aye, no denial.  A bloodfeud could have had an advantage, like getting
Ivanmoe out of Transel.  But, since we're talking about what I want, could you decide
to have it in for a couple more warriors?  Ivanmoe seems to have some luck in giving
you that vicarious satisfaction. -- Saucy Jack
P.S.  Maybe half the managers I've enticed to Transel aren't exactly newbies...and
we'll get them up to speed asap.

Serengeti -- Feel better now? -- Uncle Spanky

All -- Nice carnage last turn. -- Saucy Jack

Caseopeia -- I hate you.  I'm over the edge of Jack's patience and you go and whip me
like that. -- Kaiari

C. Parry -- C. Parry Run.  Run, Parry, Run! -- Philosononymous, who doesn't wanna
play with you no more

Jan -- I think we should all band together and make this a loving nurturing arena.
Let's all agree to fight with pillows (or at least not aim at vitals). -- Powder Puff

All -- Welcome, new teams, to Transel.  Always good to have new blood here. -- Sensei
Jan and Battle Beasts

Ashanti -- Actually, I believe you've beaten me once, long ago. -- Vizzerdrix

Ashanti -- Well, this turn should be interesting. -- Vizzerdrix

BPR -- Dear Lord!  Where have you been, old friend?  Not going by the moniker Patch
anymore?  What does BPR stand for?  I'm glad to see that you have decided to rejoin
the rat-race we all call Duelmasters.  I decided to get things going again after a 5
year absence.  Hope you stick around. -- Druid

Twilight Shadow -- Bring the bloodfeud on if you must, but don't blame me if you lose
another warrior. -- Diane

Jethro -- You're not fooling any of us with that "aw shucks" routine.  Congrats on an
impressive first round. -- Druid

Science Fiction -- I just wanted you to know I noticed your challenge of Second Omen;
and I think it is outstanding that you want to mix it up with me.  In your honor, I
have activated two more warrior slots; and have an eye on those sandbaggers of mine
at the top for a possible return as well.  I hope in the true tradition of Transel,
you are willing to not use avoids?  Thanks for giving me a reason to come back to
Transel in full. -- Doc Steele, mgr. Dark Pantheon

We-ell, looks like my boys done started off all right.  Nothin' like a two-way
bloodfeud to get yer feet wet in a new arena!  'Course, startin' out so strong does
put a li'l ol' bullseye on my boys' foreheads...but that's why they're out there
fightin' while I'm in here watchin'.  Heh. -- Jethro

Heme-Jo Condition -- I wasn't looking for a kill, but sometimes that's the way it
goes.  Feud away. -- Black Mamba

Twilight Shadow -- I wasn't looking for a kill either...but now that Shamias has
offed the Monkey, all bets are off.  Get ready, Wildrock. -- Fat Man

Battle Beasts -- The answer to your question. What is the name of the manager of
Unforgiven?  It is Wally.

Teal'c -- You will pay for my loss.  Robin will be seeing you soon.  But I get four
chances to get even.  The question remains who is first from my stable to come for
you.  Don't sleep, don't slack.  Super Heroes are on their way back. -- Unforgiven

Teal'c -- I don't like it here.  I hope you get yours real soon.  Those who live by
the sword, etc., also will die by the same.  I will haunt you till I can no longer do
it. -- Batman's Ghost

Pandora -- My manager made me fight you.  He did really but I have to be honest, I
really enjoyed beating you down.  It felt really good. -- Bat Girl

Plainsman -- I made two mistakes.  First one was to think you weren't skilled.  My
second was I took you as an easy win.  You whupped me good.  Congrats on your win. --
P.S.  Thanks for the skills, buddy.
P.P.S.  I'm coming for you again this time.  I made a P.S. P.S.  I'm coming for you
again this time.  I made a new web just for you.

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DRONE was butchered by GRANITE GARGOYLE in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
HENRY MACE was barely slain by KOLDIS THE CRAFTY in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
XX was killed by KOLDIS THE CRAFTY in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MITSURGI vanquished BLACK MAMBA in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud brawl.
VIZZERDRIX overpowered ASHANTI in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge Title fight.
SHEMAN DO was bested by UNCLE SPANKY in a 3 minute novice's Challenge duel.
JACK CACOON was savagely defeated by PHILOSONONYMOUS in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
GRIZZLY ADAMS overcame PEREGRINE FIREHAWK in a 1 minute melee.
IVANMOE was vanquished by BEN WEINSTEIN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
PLAINSMAN defeated SPIDERMAN in a action packed 4 minute gory duel.
PANDORA luckily beat THETAS TOMAN in a action packed 6 minute gory match.
SECOND OMEN overpowered WARCHILD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
KAIARI devastated DIANE in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
SEA LION subdued FUNK in a 1 minute amateur's match.
FAT MAN overpowered HENNECKE in a 1 minute gory mismatched conflict.
ZONE won victory over DEMON-X in a 2 minute amateur's bout.
STRIPERELLA vanquished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
!BATMAN! devastated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL     21 -   9 -  0      70  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         AIMED BLOW        18 -  12 -  2      60  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  11 -  3      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -   4 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         TOTAL PARRY       25 -  27 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         BASHING ATTACK    16 -  18 -  3      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         LUNGING ATTACK    19 -  23 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   2 -  0      33  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   6 -  0      25  |

Turn 479 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         4  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  5         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  3         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    VIZZERDRIX 5493            17   7  1  107 BATTLE BEASTS (464)
LUNGING ATTACK   BEN WEINSTEIN 5613          7   5  0   88 STR8 OUTTA ROCKRIDGE (490)
BASHING ATTACK   GRIZZLY ADAMS 5596         12   5  1   79 BATTLE BEASTS (464)
AIMED BLOW       IVANMOE 3874               12   4  4   62 SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)
TOTAL PARRY      PLAINSMAN 3915             10   4  0   53 SOUL STRIPPERS II (237)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ASHANTI 5352.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SPIDERMAN 5622.  The ten other most popular fighters were ASHANTI 5352, SHEMAN DO 

The least popular fighter this week was PANDORA 5459.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HENNECKE 5760, FUNK 4544, DIANE 5673, WARCHILD 5754, IVANMOE 3874, 
BLACK MAMBA 5753, !BATMAN! 5758, JACK CACOON 5664, MITSURGI 5667, and DRONE 5662.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: