DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 12/20/2005    Duedate: 01/02/2006

BONSUR ARENA

DM-7    TURN-539

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CLARITIN JUNKIE
WASTELAND II (267)
(7-5735) [13-2-0,118]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CLARITIN JUNKIE                POSITION IS EMPTY
WASTELAND II (267)             
(7-5735) [13-2-0,118]          

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WAKKO                          HARRY
UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)        BRAIN (467)
(7-3449) [13-18-0,58]          (7-4851) [8-6-0,86]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

WASTELAND II (267)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DOG SOLDIERS (481)          29
2. BRAIN (467)                 15      WASTELAND II (267)
3. UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)     15      Unchartered Team
4. WASTELAND II (267)           5
5. CHAOTIC LEGION (524)         0      HOLY WAR (426)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 WASTELAND II (267)       824 596 29 58.0   1/ 1 WASTELAND II (267)        9  1 0
 2/ 3 BRAIN (467)               20  15  0 57.1   2/ 2 BEACH BABES (309)         6  9 0
 3/ 4 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)   98  96  5 50.5   3/ 5 DOG SOLDIERS (481)        3  0 0
 4/ 6 DOG SOLDIERS (481)        18  24  2 42.9   4/ 4 BRAIN (467)               3  1 0
 5/ 5 BEACH BABES (309)        543 833 18 39.5   5/ 6 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)   3  6 0
 6- 7*CHAOTIC LEGION (524)       6  10  0 37.5   6- 7*CHAOTIC LEGION (524)      2  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                         or
                               Third Time's the Charm

     Gemra, Queen of Bonsur, was not happy.  She was cold and wet, to begin with, and
that would annoy the most sanguine of monarchs.  Worse than this, it was dark, and
she had just stubbed her toe on something unseen in the water that rushed around her
ankles.
     "Wait here, Your Majesty," Chancellor Grendal hissed.
     "All right, but hurry, Grennie.  I don't want to be here all night."  The
chancellor didn't answer, but she could hear him splashing away down some side
passage.  It seemed unfair that he could see down here and she couldn't.  After all,
these catacombs were under HER palace.  And her shoes were ruined, and her toes were
SO cold.  She shifted from foot to foot and bumped the thing in the water again.
"Porridge!" she muttered.  "Beans!  What IS it?"  Crouching, moving carefully because
in the stygian darkness she couldn't tell which way was down, she felt around under
the water.
     Mud squished, rather a pleasant feeling if she didn't think how dirty it was.
Things moved away, at least, that's what she thought.  Maybe there were little
fishes.  Little goldfishes, with eyes like jewels.  She liked the idea of golden fish
in the foundation of her palace.  But they weren't what she'd stubbed her toe on.
She groped further.
     One of the little fishes bumped her hand, bumped it again, and again, until she
moved it in the direction the fish seemed to want her to go.  It seemed odd, but
then, maybe the fishes didn't like having to swim around whatever it was.  And if
these fishes were in the foundation of her palace, then they were HER fishes.  She
was their queen.  She should do this for them.
     Aha!  There it was.  Something hard and kind of big, maybe the size of her hand,
but it was not a hand.  Of course.  What would a hand be doing here, after all?
Except her own, but that was attached to her arm, so it didn't count.  She picked it
up, wishing again for a light.  It was all well and good for Grendal to say they
couldn't risk a light, when HE could see okay with his magical spectacles, but he
didn't say WHY, and he shouldn't have left his queen here in the dark by herself.
Anything might happen!  She could be in danger and never know it!  She began to
rehearse the lecture she would give him on this, when he came back.
     Or maybe not until they got back up to the throne room where there were LAMPS.
Or at least candles.  Well, actually, the lamps hadn't been lit when she and the old
chancellor came down here, because it was still day upstairs.  It was never day down
here.
     A light flickered and strengthened, condensed into a vague pillar, faintly
greenish, and drifted toward her.  She tightened her fingers around her find and
stepped back.  It kept coming closer, and she kept stepping back, until there was
suddenly no floor under the water behind her.
     She screamed and fell into a hole.

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Hey everybody, watch out for PONY, who flew up 
17 points in the rankings after mashing SANDY SHORE like a melon.  Keep your eye on 
this gal.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  SANDY SHORE 
was defeated by PONY and drops 14 points.  Try as hard as the WASTELAND II stable 
might, they were unable to find their warrior (and ex-Duelmaster) TURTLEFACE before 
this week's fights.  It's a proud day for the WASTELAND II stable, as their warrior, 
CLARITIN JUNKIE, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed 
protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the big, bad ESPANA?  Big bad ESPANA.  Big 
bad ESPANA.  BONSUR's afraid of the big bad ESPANA.  Tra la la la la!  For those of 
you who like math, try this one:  ESPANA + Weapons That go Boom = UNDER JOLLY ROGER + 
Avoid City.  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, UMBRELLA MAN would be 
president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  Challenging down 27 
points was CLARITIN JUNKIE.  Pretty soon it'll be using two shields and selling 
'T.P.:  The only way to clean up' pins.  Definition of petty:  CLARITIN JUNKIE 
subdued UMBRELLA MAN, a mismatch of 27 points.  Can any one out there say 'weasel'?  
Oh well, just saying CAT-IN-THE-HAT will do.  He challenged 16 points down to trash 
LAGUNA LIL.  Definition of petty:  CAT-IN-THE-HAT overcame LAGUNA LIL, a mismatch of 
16 points.   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Knowing when to use the right tactics at the proper time 
is a very important step on the road to Duelmaster.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Its been fun, and I'm sure you 
enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be 
leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLARITIN JUNKIE 5735         13   2  0   118       WASTELAND II (267)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TURTLEFACE 5734              12   1  0   106       WASTELAND II (267)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAT-IN-THE-HAT 3270          20  13  2    89       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
 UMBRELLA MAN 5600            14  38  0    89       BEACH BABES (309)
-PINK NOSE 5764                8   0  0    87       WASTELAND II (267)
 HARRY 4851                    8   6  0    86       BRAIN (467)
 DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267         19  21  1    79       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
-MICRO MIRACLE 5236           11   8  0    71       WASTELAND II (267)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LAGUNA LIL 5681              13  24  0    63       BEACH BABES (309)
 BOMBA YEARN 5765              7   2  1    59       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
 WAKKO 3449                   13  18  0    58       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SALTON SEAHORSE 5713         11  15  2    50       BEACH BABES (309)
 PONY 5506                     5   2  0    50       DOG SOLDIERS (481)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NAKOR 5023                    5   3  1    30       DOG SOLDIERS (481)
 SANDY SHORE 5769              6   3  0    28       BEACH BABES (309)
 TUNTUN 5507                   5   2  0    24       DOG SOLDIERS (481)
 BEACH BETTY 5768              4   6  0    24       BEACH BABES (309)
-TONYA 5500                    3   1  0    24       CHAOTIC LEGION (524)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SPLICE 5501                   2   2  0    22       CHAOTIC LEGION (524)
 TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 5778       2   1  0    17       WASTELAND II (267)
 USELESS II 5779               0   1  0     1       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
USELESS 5776           0  2 0 UNDER JOLLY ROGER 316 NAKOR 5023            536         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Bonsur -- I have returned to the field and I have brought my legions with me. --
Seraphim/Chaotic Legion

Arena officials -- You should be aware that beggars are attacking people in the
street.  I put down a rather persistent beggar last week, and I think something
should be done to clean them off our streets.  Do we have enough gallows?  If not,
I'll see what I can do to help. -- Tonya

Pink Nose -- Calamine?  Or aloe. -- Laguna Lil
P.S.  Or you could be proactive and use sunscreen.
P.P.S.  I'd expect a hotshot tourney victor to TEACH me something.
P.P.P.S.  Besides the value of sunscreen in preventing freckles.  I already knew
that.

Claritin Junkie -- I found a lot of good stuff in junk stores, too, but the dust is
so bad!  You maybe need to either stop going there, or wear a dust mask, don't you
think? -- Umbrella Man
P.S.  There's the BEST junk store about two mines out of town, on the road toward
Delarq Tor.  GREAT umbrellas.
P.P.S.  I'm a conny-sooer of umbrellas, you know.

Total Disaster 1.0 -- Is this as bad as Katrina?  Inquiring minds are, like, mildly
curious. -- Beach Betty

Harry -- You're a brain?  That's gazebo! -- Salton Seahorse
P.S.  Why didn't you teach me more, then?

The Userous Merchant ate my card!  I KNEW they shouldn't have let golems handle
telling.  You see what comes of it! -- Sandy Shore

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CLARITIN JUNKIE viciously subdued UMBRELLA MAN in a 2 minute Challenge Title fight.
CAT-IN-THE-HAT vanquished LAGUNA LIL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
BOMBA YEARN demolished SALTON SEAHORSE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
HARRY viciously subdued DIKEMBE MUTUMBO in a popular 4 minute gory contest.
SANDY SHORE was demolished by PONY in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
WAKKO vanquished BEACH BETTY in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
TUNTUN beat CONDEMNED PIRATE in a 2 minute brawl.
NAKOR handily defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 won victory over USELESS II in a 2 minute beginner's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   2 -  2      78  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         AIMED BLOW        26 -  10 -  0      72  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   4 -  1      69  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         LUNGING ATTACK    22 -  10 -  0      69  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         WALL OF STEEL     12 -   9 -  0      57  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK     9 -  15 -  1      38  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         TOTAL PARRY        4 -   9 -  0      31  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   7 -  0      13  |

Turn 539 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         2 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         2  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       CLARITIN JUNKIE 5735       13   2  0  118 WASTELAND II (267)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   HARRY 4851                  8   6  0   86 BRAIN (467)
WALL OF STEEL    PONY 5506                   5   2  0   50 DOG SOLDIERS (481)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WAKKO 3449.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
HARRY 4851.  The ten other most popular fighters were CLARITIN JUNKIE 5735, WAKKO 
3449, TUNTUN 5507, TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 5778, CAT-IN-THE-HAT 3270, BOMBA YEARN 5765, 
DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267, PONY 5506, NAKOR 5023, and USELESS II 5779.

The least popular fighter this week was BEACH BETTY 5768.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SANDY SHORE 5769, SALTON SEAHORSE 5713, LAGUNA LIL 5681, 
UMBRELLA MAN 5600, USELESS II 5779, NAKOR 5023, PONY 5506, DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267, 
BOMBA YEARN 5765, and CAT-IN-THE-HAT 3270.