DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/28/2006    Duedate: 04/10/2006

BONSUR ARENA

DM-7    TURN-546

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

WOOD CHUCK
EAGER BEAVERS (532)
(7-5649) [12-6-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

WOOD CHUCK                     MARLITH
EAGER BEAVERS (532)            DEMONS & DEVILS (543)
(7-5649) [12-6-0,111]          (7-5758) [2-1-0,20]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WAKKO                          DANCING COWBOYS
UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)        HATE (519)
(7-3449) [14-20-0,72]          (7-5425) [4-5-0,41]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

WASTELAND II (267)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)     32
2. WASTELAND II (267)          17      EAGER BEAVERS (532)
3. HATE (519)                   8      Unchartered Team
4. BEACH BABES (309)            5
5. EAGER BEAVERS (532)          3      DEMONS & DEVILS (543)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 EAGER BEAVERS (532)       14   7  0 66.7   1/ 1 WASTELAND II (267)        8  3 0
 2/ 2 WASTELAND II (267)       840 602 29 58.3   2/ 7 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)   4  1 0
 3- 5 IMPORTED FOOTBALLE (396)  73  61  3 54.5   3/ 2 BEACH BABES (309)         4 11 0
 4/ 6 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)  107 102  5 51.2   4/ 6 EAGER BEAVERS (532)       3  0 0
 5/ 3*DEMONS & DEVILS (543)      4   4  0 50.0   5/ 5 CHAOTIC LEGION (524)      3  3 0
 6/ 0 HATE (519)                13  17  0 43.3   6- 3 IMPORTED FOOTBALLE (396)  2  1 0
 7/ 7 CHAOTIC LEGION (524)      15  20  0 42.9   7/ 4*DEMONS & DEVILS (543)     2  2 0
 8/ 8 BEACH BABES (309)        557 854 18 39.5   8/ 0 HATE (519)                1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 541): MESSIAH of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 425): GOLDEN SHARK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 549): HEARTS of GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 545): FORK BALL of F BALLS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 544): SAMANTHA FOX of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 548): JUSTIN of THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 545): PINK NOSE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 540): SADIE of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 531): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 530): SCYTHE of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 504): OLIVE OYL of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 494): GROUCHO of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 482): FOUR OF SPADES of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 430): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 205): NICKLEBACK of MILLENIUM METAL (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 379): DIED of SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 170): 2 PHAT 2 of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 423): BOB, ETERNAL of SANDS OF TIME from CLIFFHOME (The Muffin
                             Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 541): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 425): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 549): GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 545): DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 544): SPORTS GREATS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 548): THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 545): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 540): QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 531): SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 530): D.R.I. (Var, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 504): OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 494): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 482): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 430): RONIN (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 205): none
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 379): LEGION OF LEGEND (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 170): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 423): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 544): ALL LICKERED UP of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 544): NORLE PARTH of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
               (turn 543): HOFFA of JOHNS (Dear, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 531): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 504): OLIVE OYL of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 494): GROUCHO of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
                  (turn 493): HARANDUR of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 481): KANGAROO LIFEBOAT of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 429): SPIDER-MAN of WENSINWASIN M.H. (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
                          WIMPIRA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (170): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for BONSUR.  UNDER JOLLY ROGER like really 
fought hard to move up to 2nd from 7th.  Way to go!  Talk about yer major upsets!  
HYDRA's match with DANCING COWBOYS cost her a loss of 3 points!  What a putz!  PINK 
NOSE fights so hard to be Duelmaster, then quits fighting and loses the title.  No 
one said he was a genius...  And I was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit 
of...(!)  Oh well, welcome WOOD CHUCK.  Aren't EAGER BEAVERS proud.  (Oh, my.) Is the 
Duelmaster really being a real snob to his teammates?  Don't ask me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  WASTELAND II was the most avoided team.  Is a 840-602-29 record 
really that scary?  Is there some deep dark secret why UNDER JOLLY ROGER's been 
avoiding WASTELAND II so much?  Or is it just that they're too scared?  Like, is 
TONYA popular, or what?  She was challenged the most in all of BONSUR!  She's got a 
4-7-0, is that good?  Some fights are really unfair.  How do you think LAGUNA LIL 
feels about being challenged by DIKEMBE MUTUMBO, 18 points above her?  DIKEMBE 
MUTUMBO beat LAGUNA LIL.  No surprise about that.  Really I'm not surprised DIKEMBE 
MUTUMBO would do such a scummy thing, either.  TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 is being unfair.  
It's challenged down 21 against BEACH BETTY.  I don't know why they let this stuff go 
on.  (I'd better shut up) I was sorry to see such an unfair "fight" in BONSUR.  TOTAL 
DISASTER 1.0 got 2 points after beating BEACH BETTY, 21 points below it.  For sure, I 
was holding my breath when I found out VEGAS, BABY! challenged TONYA.  After all, 
haven't WASTELAND II and CHAOTIC LEGION had a long standing duel in BONSUR?  It 
wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, but TONYA wants me to write about it since 
she was beat by VEGAS, BABY!.  Satisfied?   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  What if they had a fight and nobody showed 
up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really should stop.  Its 
been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOOD CHUCK 5649              12   6  0   111       EAGER BEAVERS (532)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PINK NOSE 5764               12   0  0   123       WASTELAND II (267)
 DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267         22  21  1    98       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAT-IN-THE-HAT 3270          21  15  2    89       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
 UMBRELLA MAN 5600            15  44  0    89       BEACH BABES (309)
-PESCHISOLIDO 3999            15  14  1    85       IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (396)
-BARTEZ 4732                  11  10  0    77       IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (396)
 LAGUNA LIL 5681              15  29  0    74       BEACH BABES (309)
 WAKKO 3449                   14  20  0    72       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
-MICRO MIRACLE 5236           11   8  0    71       WASTELAND II (267)
 BOMBA YEARN 5765              9   3  1    67       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SOLSKJAER 5477                7   2  1    66       IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (396)
 SALTON SEAHORSE 5713         14  19  2    63       BEACH BABES (309)
 TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 5778       6   3  0    57       WASTELAND II (267)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HENRI 5062                    7   4  0    56       IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (396)
-PIRES 5665                    5   0  0    43       IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (396)
 DANCING COWBOYS 5425          4   5  0    41       HATE (519)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SANDY SHORE 5769             10   6  0    37       BEACH BABES (309)
 BEACH BETTY 5768              8   9  0    35       BEACH BABES (309)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BALOR 5759                    2   1  0    31       DEMONS & DEVILS (543)
-SPLICE 5501                   5   3  0    25       CHAOTIC LEGION (524)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TONYA 5500                    4   7  0    23       CHAOTIC LEGION (524)
 USELESS II 5779               2   2  0    23       UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
 HYDRA 5784                    4   2  0    21       CHAOTIC LEGION (524)
 MARLITH 5758                  2   1  0    20       DEMONS & DEVILS (543)
-BUCK TOOTH 5651               2   1  0    18       EAGER BEAVERS (532)
 VEGAS, BABY! 5809             2   0  0    18       WASTELAND II (267)
-GLENUGON 5761                 0   1  0     7       DEMONS & DEVILS (543)
-NABASSU 5760                  0   1  0     7       DEMONS & DEVILS (543)
 MASTER ROSHI 5806             1   3  0     6       WASTELAND II (267)
-TWO HEADED WOMEN 5437         1   2  0     5       HATE (519)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CLARITIN JUNKIE 5735  15  3 0 WASTELAND II 267      PESCHISOLIDO 3999     542 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Wood Chuck -- What *I* think is, like, that's MORE wood than a wood chuck should
chuck.  I mean, you're overdoing it, right?  Relax a little. -- Laguna Lil

Pires -- Oh, cheese, I thought you were a football, not a footballer.  I couldn't
even see you down there.  And then you started kicking me in the ankles, and that
just totally hurts, you know? -- Sandy Shore

Total Disaster 1.0 -- Yes, all right, now you should be promoted to maybe 1.3 at
least.  Probably more.  Because you really do your job.  Ouch. -- Beach Betty

Bartez -- I was going to make a comment, but my boss wouldn't let me.  Censorship!
He said you'd misunderstand, and Our Editor would get annoyed, and it would just be
generally bad things.  And then he got all, you know, kind and more-in-sorrow-than-
anger, and I just completely couldn't think of anything else because of that sort of
thing turning my brain to mush.  So I just have to say, "Good fight," and stop there.
Sorry. -- Salton Seahorse

Why, I ask you, would anyone convict an assassin but leave him alive?  It seems
pointless, because people who are still alive seem to always get away sooner or
later, and a convicted assassin who gets away might just come back and practice his
trade on the people who convicted him.  Why give him the, you know, chance? --
Umbrella Man

24 March 2006
A few notes about e-mailed personals:

You may submit personal ads, columns, spotlights, etc. electronically, either via e-
mail to ads at reality dot com (which doesn't need any more spam, thank you) or on
the web at http://www.reality.com/duel2/modules.php?name=Ads.  When you submit
something, you should get back a receipt from HAL at RSI.  If you do NOT get a
receipt, your ads may have gone astray (not all e-mail makes it to its destination
any more than all snail mail does).  If you DO get a receipt, it should, in the body
of the message, tell you what arena your stuff was filed in.  Check your receipt to
make sure your submission made it to the intended destination.  Also check to see
that everything you sent made it to the same place.  Sometimes HAL, who is rather
simple-minded in some ways, will send half your stuff to another arena if the name
or number of that arena shows up at the beginning of a line.  So if the word Ti
appears at the beginning of a line halfway through your ads, all the ads after that
may end up in Ti, which is closed and doesn't need ads.  As a side note, sometimes
things move slowly, so don't wait until the last minute to send your ads and all.
If they get held up along the way, they may not show up until next turn.  Happy
writing! -- Ed.

28 March 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to welcome two managers to our fold.  Kon of
the Empire Rising, and Osiris!  May they be blessed with the blood of their enemies,
and give no quarter in War! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DIKEMBE MUTUMBO devastated LAGUNA LIL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
CAT-IN-THE-HAT won victory over UMBRELLA MAN in a 1 minute expert's Challenge battle.
TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 won victory over BEACH BETTY in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
VEGAS, BABY! defeated TONYA in a 4 minute novice vs. master upset Challenge fight.
WOOD CHUCK vanquished WAKKO in a 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
BOMBA YEARN beat SALTON SEAHORSE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
DANCING COWBOYS savagely defeated HYDRA in a action packed 2 minute gruesome melee.
SANDY SHORE won victory over MARLITH in a 3 minute duel.
USELESS II overpowered MASTER ROSHI in a 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   1 -  0      90  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         LUNGING ATTACK    26 -   8 -  1      76  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK   10 -   4 -  0      71  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  10 -  0      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         AIMED BLOW         9 -  11 -  0      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -   9 -  0      44  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         TOTAL PARRY        7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK     6 -  10 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   7 -  0      30  |

Turn 546 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  WOOD CHUCK 5649            12   6  0  111 EAGER BEAVERS (532)
BASHING ATTACK   DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267       22  21  1   98 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
AIMED BLOW       CAT-IN-THE-HAT 3270        21  15  2   89 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
LUNGING ATTACK   BOMBA YEARN 5765            9   3  1   67 UNDER JOLLY ROGER (316)
WALL OF STEEL    SANDY SHORE 5769           10   6  0   37 BEACH BABES (309)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WAKKO 3449.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
DANCING COWBOYS 5425.  The ten other most popular fighters were TONYA 5500, 
CAT-IN-THE-HAT 3270, SANDY SHORE 5769, BOMBA YEARN 5765, TOTAL DISASTER 1.0 5778, 
USELESS II 5779, WOOD CHUCK 5649, HYDRA 5784, DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267, and BEACH BETTY 
5768.

The least popular fighter this week was MASTER ROSHI 5806.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MARLITH 5758, WAKKO 3449, UMBRELLA MAN 5600, LAGUNA LIL 5681, 
SALTON SEAHORSE 5713, VEGAS, BABY! 5809, BEACH BETTY 5768, DIKEMBE MUTUMBO 3267, 
HYDRA 5784, and WOOD CHUCK 5649.