Date   : 08/14/2003    Duedate: 09/10/2003


DM-8    TURN-234

This Weeks Top Honors


(8-3978) [17-12-0,99]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MISS STEP                      REBECCA RAVEN
(8-3978) [17-12-0,99]          (8-4308) [6-2-0,51]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MISS STEP                      MORRIGAN
(8-3978) [17-12-0,99]          (8-4557) [1-3-1,12]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WIMPS OF PERIL (504)        31
2. X-FORCE (484)               30      BONDAGE (469)
3. PHOENIX FIRE (532)          29      Unchartered Team
4. LA PENTARCHIE (481)         28
5. HAPLESS WAIF (515)          27      PHOENIX FIRE (532)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 BONDAGE (469)             76  45  7 62.8   1/ 3 WIMPS OF PERIL (504)     10  5 0
 2/ 2 BLACKTHORN ORCS (425)    225 139 22 61.8   2/ 2 LADIES IN WAITING (115)   9  6 0
 3/ 8*PHOENIX FIRE (532)        10   7  1 58.8   3/ 6*PHOENIX FIRE (532)        8  4 1
 4/ 5 LA PENTARCHIE (481)      119  97  3 55.1   4/ 5 HAPLESS WAIF (515)        8  4 0
 5/ 4 LADIES IN WAITING (115)  289 236 12 55.0   5/ 1 BONDAGE (469)             7  6 1
 6/ 6 DOGPOUND (477)            45  41  2 52.3   6/ 4 BLACKTHORN ORCS (425)     7  8 2
 7/ 7 HAPLESS WAIF (515)        35  33  1 51.5   7/ 8 LA PENTARCHIE (481)       6  8 0
 8/ 9 WIMPS OF PERIL (504)      62  61  4 50.4   8/ 7 X-FORCE (484)             6  9 0
 9/11 TREE PEOPLE (511)         38  44  1 46.3   9/ 9 WOLFBANE (521)            5  5 0
10/ 0*TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)     16  19  3 45.7  10/10 TREE PEOPLE (511)         5  6 0
11-10*CHAOS REAVERS (520)        9  11  0 45.0  11/11*PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)     4 11 3
12/12 X-FORCE (484)             72 100  6 41.9  12-14 DYSERAY (456)             2  3 0
13-13 DYSERAY (456)             96 148  2 39.3  13/12 DOGPOUND (477)            2  3 0
14/14 WOLFBANE (521)            30  56  1 34.9  14-15*CHAOS REAVERS (520)       0  3 0
15/15*PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)      5  15  3 25.0  15/ 0*TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)     0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #117 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Tonga, a Lord Protector who had graduated here, stood on the top level of the
arena and looked out over the small city.  The past year or two had not been kind to
Seam.  Buildings still stood between the center of the city and the river, but the
other half of the town was in ruins.  "It wouldn't look any worse if there'd been a
war here," he muttered to his teammate, Nathaniel G.
     "If there'd been a war, there would be more bodies," Nathaniel argued.  Anything
else he might have said was drowned out by rumbling deep in the earth.
     The geyser that had broken out a few months ago burst into the air, bringing
sulfur-scented steam.  It rose in the center of the devastated area, shooting higher
than the arena walls before a wind from the west seized the top of the plume and blew
scalding mist to the east.  The circle of abandoned buildings marked the distance
that any normal wind was likely to blow the deadly steam.  Although some of the
destruction in the center had resulted from the blast that released the geyser, and
from the occasional earth-shocks afterward, most of it was due to vandalism and
     Some of the vandals, Tonga noted sadly, were gladiators whose teams hadn't found
new homes after the arena closed.  He could understand their anger and despair, but
wished they'd found a more constructive outlet.  Others were relicts of the civil war
who, for one reason or another, had nowhere else to go.
     "Point's in worse shape," Nathaniel said when the geyser finally subsided.
"Wiped out by..." he hesitated, not wanting to attribute the destruction of Point to
     "Ghosts," Tonga said.  "Might as well admit it.  Everyone says it was ghosts out
of Krael that wiped out Point and hit Iaye, too."  He glanced sideways at his
companion.  "When you were out toward Point, did you swing down to Ti?  We haven't
heard a word from there in, I dunno, weeks, months?"


     Karanjal walked into the Krill Cavalry guildhouse and flopped into a chair.  He
wasn't sure now what he had expected life to be like once he became a Lord Protector,
but he knew he hadn't expected to end up as a courier riding all over the Clanhold.
He accepted a mug of cold cider from his teammate, Flitter McGee, and drank deeply.
     Flitter waited impatiently, and when Karanjal didn't seem likely to stop
drinking, he said, "Well?"
     "No, not well," Karanjal growled.
     "You went to Ti," Flitter prompted, when no further comment was forthcoming.
     "There isn't any Ti.  Empty beach.  Not even ruins."
     "Some kind of wave, like took out Point?" Flitter guessed.
     "You're not listening!"  Karanjal slammed his mug onto the long refectory table
in sudden irritation.  "There is no Ti.  It's like there never was a Ti.  With Point,
there are ruins.  With Ti, nothing.  I searched the coast for three miles each way--
What a joke, each way from what?  I couldn't even be sure exactly which part of the
coast used to have the town on it!"  He was silent for a moment.  "There's a cliff at
the water's edge," he said finally, "some kind of purplish rock with fossils in it.
Like nothing I've seen anywhere before.  I'm guessing that's where Ti used to be,
that somehow the town got swapped for a piece of some other coast somewhere...."
     "But that's impossible!"
     "Unlikely, maybe, but what other explanation is there?"
     "Okay, okay...."  Flitter frowned.  "Okay, really big magic could maybe do it,
but really big magic is impossible right now, because of the Chaos contamination and
the Arcanum failing and all."
     Karanjal shrugged.  "I don't have to come up with answers, thank all gods!  I
just go and gather facts.  Someone else can figure out what's going on."  He heaved
himself up reluctantly.  "I suppose I'd better write out a report."

At an unknown location:

     Belana listened to the sliding rocks, but she kept her eyes moving.  Just
because she could hear someone coming from one direction, that didn't mean there
wasn't somebody coming from some other direction, too.  The man who emerged from the
trees was dark enough to be Delarquan, but if this was the wrong side of some Gate,
that didn't mean anything.  She supposed she should be glad it was human.  Or at
least looked human.  Her gaze flicked to the man and then along the edge of the
trees, back to the man and along the trees on the other side.  He looked like
Gelleran.  Not exactly, but very nearly like Gelleran.  Maybe he was trapped on this
side of the Gate, too.
     Or maybe this was somebody or some THING else that was mimicking Gelleran's
appearance to put her off guard.  There was a lot of deceit in the world--in ANY
world, after all.
     The man came down the last of the slope in a half-run that made enough noise to
cover anyone else who might be moving in the woods.  "Belana!  My seer said you would
be here--I'm so glad you're not badly hurt!"  He came up against the low wall that
marked that side of her floor, hitting it with a jolt that would knock the breath out
of anyone.  He grinned at her, panting.
     If this wasn't Gelleran, the illusion was beyond her ability to penetrate, and
she couldn't refuse help just because she didn't trust this world.  Belana put down
her rock and stood.  "I'm glad to see a familiar face," she admitted.  "But where are
     "On Kordos, of course!"  He recovered his breath and came around the wall,
obviously intending to take her into his arms.
     Belana shied back.  She knew he liked her, but they hadn't been on hugging
terms, that she recalled.  But at least they must be still in the Ghean world, still
on Alastari, even.  She grabbed for the first neutral topic that came to mind.
"Kordos...that's your island, isn't it?  Near Valamantis--"
     "It is my island, yes, of course," he said, lowering his arms and looking
disturbed.  "And yours, too, I hope.  As my betrothed and soon-to-be wife and queen,
I hope you will come to regard Kordos as your home just as it is mine.  But...I do
not know of this Valamantis you speak of."

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Not in Zuwayza:

     A deep drumming sound echoed through the house.
     "That will be the Sultan's men--or the Temple Guards, even!--at the door," the
merchant muttered.  "I dare not refuse them entry."
     The merchant hurried away, and Tankesh dismissed the man from his mind.  The way
his head ached, he didn't figure on wasting his efforts on peripheral puzzles.  The
important thing was to get on his feet without falling down.  He braced one hand
against the wall and pushed himself upward.  After a moment, the room stopped
wobbling around.  He took a careful step toward the small table that held his sword,
picked it up, and slung the belt around himself.  Headache or no, he could fight if
he had to, and just having the sword at hand gave him confidence.  He looked around
the room.
     The doctor was tidying away all sign that someone had been here, straightening
the cover on the divan, scooping up a small cup and spoon, a bit of bloodstained
cloth, anything that might be out of place, and gathering it all into a small bundle
which he shoved into his doctor's bag.  Not speaking, the man gestured for Tankesh to
follow him and darted out a door that had been concealed by a hanging curtain.
     No, Tankesh corrected himself as he scrambled to keep up with the man, not
concealed.  It didn't seem to be anything like a secret door, and the curtain was
probably merely to stop drafts.  Well, whatever.  He didn't suppose that mattered.
He would probably never see these people or this place again.
     The doctor led him down a long hall; some of the doorways opening off it had
curtains for closure and others had real doors of wood.  Even in what Tankesh guessed
was a service hallway, the doors were all surrounded by tiles painted with bright-
colored floral patterns, and the floor, also of tile, had a long strip of striped
carpet down it.  The door at the far end was locked and bolted, but the doctor had a
key and let them out into an alley.
     A blank-faced building on the side made a narrow path of black shadow, but for
the rest, the sun turned the alley into an oven.  The doctor didn't pause but led him
onward at a brisk trot, around a corner, and in through another door, across a small
courtyard, into a dusty hallway, out another door, and on and on through a maze of
buildings and alleys.  Tankesh wondered what kind of practice the man had that he
knew this maze so well.  They saw few people in their rapid passage, all of them
heavily cloaked and moving away.
     They ended up in another small courtyard, this one dominated by a spreading
cypress tree and a tiled pool of water with a fountain splashing gently into it.
     "I will leave you here," the doctor said quickly.  "The sage may be able to help
you return to your own world.  Fare you well, Traveler, and may the Goddess smile
upon your going out and your returning."  Before Tankesh could respond, he vanished
back through the gateway.
     "So you are a Traveler, eh?"  The voice came from the deep shade of the cypress,
unhurried and genial.  "It's been a long time since I Traveled, though I visited many
worlds in my youth.  Come sit here by the fountain and tell me how it is with you,
young man."
     Tankesh peered into the shadow but couldn't make out more than a vague presence.
With a slight shrug, he moved closer, noting with relief that the air was distinctly
cooler under the tree.  He sank down onto the rim of the fountain and squinted into
the shadow.
     The sage was very old, a shrunken, withered figure barely visible among a nest
of shawls.  How could he stand shawls in this heat?  "What's going on?" he asked.
     The old man sighed.  "It's a time of change, young man.  I have studied many
lifetimes and do not fully understand it.  There is always the possibility of
Traveling from one world to another, but the choice of destination is ordinarily
restricted, and the passage is difficult.  For some reason beyond my slender
understanding, this is changing...at least for now.  A world of which we know
nothing, have never Visited--your world--is coming into conjunction with ours.
Travel is easy, even happening by sheerest accident.  Thus, I gather, your presence."
     "The doctor who brought me here said the same thing, more or less.  But that
still doesn't tell me why ME, what happened to my companion, and how I get home!"
     The old man laughed.  "Why you and what happened to your companion, I cannot
guess.  As to how you might get home--"  He stretched one thin leg out in front of
him, and the sunlight burned on a crimson slipper with a curled toe.  "I don't think
my shoes will fit you, but there are other ways.  Quite simple, really.  Come into my
terminal."  He hoisted himself to his feet and headed for a door that was barely
visible under a deep arcade.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): NUBIAN GOD of VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): CONAN of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): SLIM SHADY of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
                              (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): BENEFICE of THE TAKEN (The Annalist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): OL' JOE COLLIN of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): PIPE LAYER of WORKING MEN (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): NEBBISH of SAILS OF CHARON from ARADI (The Sentinel)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): THE ASININE (Philthy Phil, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 458): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): WRESTLMANIACS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                           FOTHERINFOP of WIMPS OF PERIL (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 232): DOMINO of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
                           BETHUNES of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
                               JUGHEAD of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
                               BART WELLENS of 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
                   (turn 468): BOOTLEG PATCHWORK of  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo
                               Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
                           SUE of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): FLITTER MCGEE of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
             (turn 453): INFERNO of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): LONGARMOFTHELAW of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
                          SLAP HAPPY of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
              (turn 316): SCUMBAG of WIMPS OF DEATH (Wimpy, mgr.)
                          WETBOX of BOXES (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): RHYTHM METHOD of SURPRISE! (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Much has changed in ARKERS since last I was here.  Never fear, Olaf Modeen 
adapts to many situations, as do all successful fighters.  Woof!  BONDAGE were a 
bunch of dogs after WIMPS OF PERIL got through with 'em!  5th ain't so sweet as 1st!  
Hmmmph!  I always thought BONDAGE was an over-rated team and they proved it with a 
1-3-0!  Ya gotta be quick on yer feet!  Keep your elbow off the table!  Thrust!  
Block out the pain!  PHOENIX FIRE is now ranked 3rd with a 4-1-0 turn.  TREE PEOPLE 
showed ARKERS what they were made of as they fought with a vengeance to walk off with 
3-0-0.  What's with RANCID WAIF?  She actually beat LADIES IN WAITING's MISS TOOK, 
and walked away with 23 more points from the fight.  Laughs were big at HAPLESS WAIF 
while they watched RANCID WAIF clobber MISS TOOK.  She lost 20 points and got bruised 
from objects thrown from the stands.  See how the Duelmaster Dark Arena Challenged 
DARK ARENA's DARK CHAMPION?  That sort of initiative is how he got where he is now.  
DARK CHAMPION was reminded on the sands why FANTA FUELED FUZZ is Duelmaster.  I 
suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  How well I know the feeling 
of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of practive, BONDAGE!  Management 
must be dealin', as the boys at LADIES IN WAITING ain't reelin'!  BONDAGE's mad!  
What do people see in PUSSY GALORE?  Hers 3-1-0?  BONDAGE ain't talkin', but she's 
got 33 points.   
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  Who will dare fight FANTA FUELED FUZZ, after he returned from 
the Dark Arena?  (For the record 25-8-1 is 134, and has he points) Sending a warrior 
to the Dark Arena reminds the others they'd better shape up.  Tough beans, GONZAGO.  
That's what a 6-10-1 gets you.  Someone told TOBACCO ROSE that DOGPOUND never 
Bloodfeuded, that she'd have an easy kill.  Well, I'm sure whoever misled you is 
right sorry.  Is it my imagination, or are fighters getting younger every day?  To 
die so young, so gloriously!   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  The end 
of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Time for my 
medication, so I'll leave now.  Practice, practice, practice!-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MISS STEP 3978               17  12  0    99       LADIES IN WAITING (115)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MELTDOWN 4353                15   3  0    98       X-FORCE (484)
-ODDJOB 3920                  14   7  0    94       BONDAGE (469)
 RANCID WAIF 4413              9   6  0    93       HAPLESS WAIF (515)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLOSED MIND 4429             11   4  0    85       BLACKTHORN ORCS (425)
 MISS COMMUNE KATE 4118        9   6  0    85       LADIES IN WAITING (115)
 HOOF HEARTED 4503             7   2  0    84       WIMPS OF PERIL (504)
 MISS TOOK 4091               11   8  1    81       LADIES IN WAITING (115)
 THOG 4399                     9   9  0    69       WOLFBANE (521)
 FRENZIED WAIF 4345           10   6  0    67       HAPLESS WAIF (515)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASH 4307                     10   8  1    66       TREE PEOPLE (511)
-WOLFHOUND 4158               10   4  0    66       DOGPOUND (477)
 GOLDENEYE 4479                6   2  0    63       BONDAGE (469)
 LUMBERING WAIF 4346           8   8  0    62       HAPLESS WAIF (515)
 HUNGRY WAIF 4349              7   9  1    59       HAPLESS WAIF (515)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 L'ORC BLEU 4352               8  10  0    56       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
 MISS TREE MEAT 4418           8   2  0    55       LADIES IN WAITING (115)
 BORZOI 3983                   9   6  0    52       DOGPOUND (477)
 REBECCA RAVEN 4308            6   2  0    51       TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)
-JENDAR ILLKEN 4112           12  13  0    50       DYSERAY (456)
 SQUIFFY 4490                  8   2  0    49       WIMPS OF PERIL (504)
-BLACK LAB 4265                7   2  0    45       DOGPOUND (477)
-REDWOOD 4304                 10   6  0    44       TREE PEOPLE (511)
 SONYA 4397                    7   8  0    40       WOLFBANE (521)
-ANGELA DEATH 4310             4   3  1    39       TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)
-MATARA WENTTRO 4266           6   9  0    37       DYSERAY (456)
-DAMSEL OF DOOM 4309           3   4  1    37       TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)
-WARPATH 4039                  6   4  1    36       GEN-X (482)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLICK 4495                    6   4  1    33       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
 POLARIS 4547                  5   1  0    33       X-FORCE (484)
 PUSSY GALORE 4467             3   1  0    33       BONDAGE (469)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CASTOR BEAN 4442              8   5  0    29       TREE PEOPLE (511)
 FAERIE DRAGON 4534            3   1  0    28       PHOENIX FIRE (532)
 JAGUARMAN 4532                2   2  0    28       PHOENIX FIRE (532)
 CHIKEN HEARTED 4502           4   5  0    25       WIMPS OF PERIL (504)
 QUEUE 4549                    5   1  1    24       BONDAGE (469)
 MISS CONSTRUED 4419           2   8  0    24       LADIES IN WAITING (115)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MIST DANCER 4387              4   1  0    22       CHAOS REAVERS (520)
-CABLE 4038                    4   6  0    21       GEN-X (482)
 BILL BALOUD 4581              2   0  0    21       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
-JUGGERNAUT 4040               5   5  0    20       GEN-X (482)
 ESTUPIDO 4572                 3   1  0    20       WIMPS OF PERIL (504)
 TOBACCO ROSE 4529             2   2  1    20       PHOENIX FIRE (532)
 PSYLOCKE 4470                 2   4  0    20       X-FORCE (484)
-WOLVERINE 4037                4   6  1    19       GEN-X (482)
 FIRE FLY 4533                 2   0  0    19       PHOENIX FIRE (532)
-MOMMA CASKET 4311             2   5  1    18       TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)
 WEEDS II 4577                 2   0  0    18       TREE PEOPLE (511)
-LADY GHOST 4391               2   1  0    17       CHAOS REAVERS (520)
 LAZY BONES 4584               2   0  0    17       BLACKTHORN ORCS (425)
-MARKS CLOAKER 4481            2   2  0    15       DYSERAY (456)
 CRONUS 4550                   2   1  0    14       WOLFBANE (521)
-WITLESS WAIF 4347             1   3  0    14       HAPLESS WAIF (515)
-KAZANDRA KRUEL 4460           1   0  0    14       TRIAL BY COMBAT (512)
 DART 4586                     1   0  0    14       X-FORCE (484)
 MORRIGAN 4557                 1   3  1    12       PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)
 GRYPHOS 4582                  1   0  0    11       PHOENIX FIRE (532)
 CERNUNNOS 4556                2   2  1    10       PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)
 LUGH 4559                     2   2  1     9       PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)
-IRON FIST 4390                2   3  0     9       CHAOS REAVERS (520)
 MOTEL DU LAC 4580             1   1  0     9       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
 GORM 4488                     1   5  0     8       WOLFBANE (521)
-CHOW 4552                     0   2  0     6       DOGPOUND (477)
 CALLIECH 4558                 0   4  0     4       PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)
 BRIGID 4555                   0   4  0     4       PAGAN MYSTERIES (533)
 BAD 2 THE BONE 4583           0   2  0     2       BLACKTHORN ORCS (425)
-DUSTY 4579                    0   1  0     1       DYSERAY (456)
 EMM 4588                      0   1  0     1       BONDAGE (469)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
THORNWOOD 4589         0  1 0 BLACKTHORN ORCS 425   CERNUNNOS 4556        234         
BIG BAD BUBBA 4575     0  1 0 BLACKTHORN ORCS 425   MORRIGAN 4557         232 JUST REV
DARK CHAMPION 408      0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          FANTA FUELED FUZ 4092 234 NONE    
POODLE 4517            2  2 0 DOGPOUND 477          TOBACCO ROSE 4529     232 JUST REV
WESTIN MO 4452         2  5 0 DYSERAY 456           QUEUE 4549            231         
GONZAGO 4395           6 11 1 WOLFBANE 521          HIGH ELF 403          234 NONE    
FERAL 4562             1  3 0 X-FORCE 484           BLACK ORC 404         234 NONE    
BISHOP 4546            1  1 1 X-FORCE 484           SLICK 4495            230 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Meltdown -- Why do I feel like the Wicked Witch getting doused by a bucket of water. 
-- Miss Step

Wimpy Slugbait -- Congrats on the Graduations of Fanta Fueled Fuzz and FotherinFop.  
Looks like this turn has been brought to us by the letter "F" -- Crip

L'Orc Bleu -- I prefer Labatt Bleue -- Miss Tree Meat

Slick -- Hardly, I'd have called you rough and rugged -- Miss Construed

Bethunes -- Some results I just can't figure out -- Miss Took

Oddjob -- I only hope the skills will help me out in the future, but it may take a 
few years before I can handle you -- Miss Commune Kate

Jaguarman -- You want it, you got it. -- Cronus

Miss Tree Meat -- It looks like your hunch paid off.  I wasn't expecting you to use a 
QS. -- Gonzago

WHO DO I SUE? -- Poor old Fotherinfop got cheated out of the Duelmaster's spot.  In 
the Week's Fights it said: FOTHERINFOP viciously subdued FANTA FUELED FUZZ in a 8 
minute Challenge Title Fight."  Note the words "Title fight".  So does Fotherinfop 
get the title?  No, Fanta keeps it.  There have been payoffs or something and I call 
for an investigation of the Commission.  Since Fotherinfop has been called to ADM he 
will never get the Throne he deserves.  What a rip off. -- Wimpy

     You'll have to take this up with Customer Service, as I have no clues. -- Temp

Ash -- You have nine more fights than I.  I thought that you would teach me 
something.  Only one skill for beating you is terrible. -- Hoof Hearted

Hungry Waif -- I really thought I could take you even though you have almost twice as 
many fights as I do. -- Squiffy

Fanta Fueled Fuzz -- I don't think it is your fault.  You were viciously subdued by 
me in the TITLE FIGHT.  You kept the title and I got four skills.  Who do you payoff? 
-- Fotherinfop

Castor Bean -- I was doing fine until I drink some of that oil you gave me after the 
7th minute.  You said it would help me and that you made it yourself and called it 
Castor Oil. Bad stuff. -- Chiken Hearted

Queue -- Duh!  I think you are no longer undefeated. -- Estupido

Closed Mind -- I found this sandal firmly wedged in my posterior.  Just thought you 
might like it back. -- Morrigan

Feral -- Nice challenge, and you landed the first two blows; however, I landed all 
the rest! -- Faerie Dragon

Polaris -- You are a tough competitor and I respect that you fought with blades. -- 
Tobacco Rose

Lugh -- A time of change for us twain,
        Your first loss and my first gain.
            -- Jaguarman, admittedly not a skilled poet

Fanta Fueled Fuzz & Fotherinfop -- Congrats!! (FFF on throne and invite, F on 
invite!) -- Spawn

Chicken Hearted -- You wanna know my secret??? Join the... -- Queue

Lumbering Waif -- Glad you fell backwards... you'd hurt someone if you fell on 
them!!! or is that the plan??? -- Goldeneye

Estupido -- As you can see from my training I'm not so estupido! -- Queue

Miss Commune Kate -- A brief return for me seeing as I was offered a free fight... I 
don't think I was exactly what you were hoping to face!! I'm a bit of an.. -- Oddjob

Mist Dancer -- Go dance round someone else's mist... this one's mine! -- Pussy Galore

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FANTA FUELED FUZZ viciously butchered DARK CHAMPION in a 7 minute Dark Arena fight.
GONZAGO was murdered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
FERAL was slain by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BORZOI devastated TOBACCO ROSE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud contest.
PUSSY GALORE was defeated by SQUIFFY in a 4 minute Challenge match.
MISS STEP bested CLOSED MIND in a 1 minute Challenge Title brawl.
HOOF HEARTED vanquished GOLDENEYE in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SONYA was beaten by MISS TREE MEAT in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
ASH handily defeated HUNGRY WAIF in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
QUEUE won victory over PSYLOCKE in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
MISS CONSTRUED was viciously subdued by SLICK in a 1 minute gory Challenge duel.
WEEDS II won victory over MOTEL DU LAC in a 2 minute gory novice's Challenge duel.
CRONUS was savagely defeated by JAGUARMAN in a popular 1 minute gory Challenge melee.
MELTDOWN subdued MISS COMMUNE KATE in a 4 minute match.
FOTHERINFOP devastated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
MISS TOOK was subdued by RANCID WAIF in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
THOG beat REBECCA RAVEN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute conflict.
LUMBERING WAIF was defeated by L'ORC BLEU in a 2 minute veteran's duel.
FRENZIED WAIF devastated CAPTURED ORC in a 2 minute brutal uneven duel.
POLARIS outwaited ESTUPIDO in a unpopular 22 minute brawl.
CASTOR BEAN outlasted GORM in a tiresome 13 minute brutal bout.
CHIKEN HEARTED overpowered BRIGID in a 1 minute one-sided match.
FAERIE DRAGON handily defeated BAD 2 THE BONE in a 2 minute mismatched competition.
FIRE FLY overpowered CALLIECH in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
CERNUNNOS unbelievably slew THORNWOOD in a crowd pleasing 1 minute beginner's duel.
MORRIGAN was outlasted by LAZY BONES in a popular 7 minute novice's match.
LUGH was vanquished by BILL BALOUD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
GRYPHOS vanquished EMM in a exciting 1 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
DART overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a tiring 3 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         TOTAL PARRY       56 -  29 -  2      66  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  23 -  1      52  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  17 -  0      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         STRIKING ATTACK   56 -  55 - 12      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         LUNGING ATTACK    31 -  37 -  1      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         AIMED BLOW        33 -  43 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-STRIKE      12 -  17 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-LUNGE       13 -  19 -  0      41  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  16 -  1      33  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  39 -  1      33  |

Turn 234 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         5 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  4         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MISS STEP 3978             17  12  0   99 LADIES IN WAITING (115)
TOTAL PARRY      MELTDOWN 4353              15   3  0   98 X-FORCE (484)
AIMED BLOW       RANCID WAIF 4413            9   6  0   93 HAPLESS WAIF (515)
SLASHING ATTACK  CLOSED MIND 4429           11   4  0   85 BLACKTHORN ORCS (425)
WALL OF STEEL    HOOF HEARTED 4503           7   2  0   84 WIMPS OF PERIL (504)
BASHING ATTACK   MISS TOOK 4091             11   8  1   81 LADIES IN WAITING (115)
STRIKING ATTACK  ASH 4307                   10   8  1   66 TREE PEOPLE (511)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MISS STEP 3978.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was MORRIGAN 4557.  The ten other most popular fighters were QUEUE 4549, MISS COMMUNE 
THOG 4399, L'ORC BLEU 4352, MISS STEP 3978, and GOLDENEYE 4479.

The least popular fighter this week was ESTUPIDO 4572.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were POLARIS 4547, GORM 4488, CASTOR BEAN 4442, DART 4586, LAZY BONES 4584, 
BAD 2 THE BONE 4583, LUGH 4559, CALLIECH 4558, BRIGID 4555, and REBECCA RAVEN 4308.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: