Date   : 11/30/2006    Duedate: 12/27/2006


DM-8    TURN-277

This Weeks Top Honors


(8-4661) [13-11-0,114]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(8-4661) [13-11-0,114]         (8-4923) [6-2-0,64]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KISERU                         SKUNK
YAKUZA (541)                   THE ANIMALS (576)
(8-4717) [16-7-1,104]          (8-4964) [3-2-0,19]


X-FORCE (484)

Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)     62
2. PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)       44      Z GLADIATORZ (519)
3. LA PENTARCHIE (481)         41      Unchartered Team
4. BAUBLES, INC. (583)         36
5. DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)        32      THE ANIMALS (576)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*WARRIOR POETS (578)        8   2  2 80.0   1/ 1 X-FORCE (484)            10  5 0
 2- 2 ORCISH IDIOMS (563)       35  12  1 74.5   2/ 6 NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)   9  5 1
 3/ 4 Z GLADIATORZ (519)        80  47  0 63.0   3- 3*WARRIOR POETS (578)       8  2 2
 4/ 6 SMITHSONIAN (245)        526 346 13 60.3   4/ 8 LA PENTARCHIE (481)       8  3 2
 5/ 3*THE ANIMALS (576)         15  10  0 60.0   5/ 5 SMITHSONIAN (245)         8  5 0
 6/ 5 YAKUZA (541)             165 112 11 59.6   6/12 Z GLADIATORZ (519)        7  3 0
 7/ 7 LA PENTARCHIE (481)      234 178  6 56.8   7/ 2 YAKUZA (541)              7  8 0
 8/ 8 NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)  156 121 14 56.3   8/15*DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)      7  8 0
 9/ 0*ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (545)   14  11  2 56.0   9/ 4*THE ANIMALS (576)         7  8 0
10/ 9*PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)     21  18  1 53.8  10/ 7*PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)     6  8 0
11/10 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (25)    22  23  3 48.9  11/ 9 LEVIATHAN (556)           6  9 0
12/11 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)       73  80  2 47.7  12/10 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)       5  4 0
13/12 CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202) 120 136 11 46.9  13/13 CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202)  4 10 0
14/15*DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)      16  19  2 45.7  14/11 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (25)    3  3 0
15/13 X-FORCE (484)            162 207 14 43.9  15/ 0*BAUBLES, INC. (583)       2  3 2
16/16 LEVIATHAN (556)           23  50  1 31.5  16/14*TRAGIC DESIRE (575)       2  8 0
17/17*TRAGIC DESIRE (575)        5  15  1 25.0  17-16 ORCISH IDIOMS (563)       1  1 0
18/ 0*BAUBLES, INC. (583)        6  21  3 22.2  18/ 0*ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (545)   1  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0*GLANGEDDEN (581)           0   1  0  0.0  19/ 0*GLANGEDDEN (581)          0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                                 A Relative Returns
                        By:  Dominic Spinella AKA Master Beru

     "Are we ready then?"
     His eyes searched the faces around him for signs of hesitation and fear.  They
knew what they faced and had not shrunk back at any point since they had first
traveled.  His brown eyes took in the faces and wondered which he would not see
     Sherman was the only one who had received Sheila's blessing before they left, so
there would be no resurrection for those that fell.
     There were less than two thousand now.  To think that he had entered that first
gate with almost a hundred thousand so long ago and now it was only these few.
Visions of that first trip through the gate were quickly running through his mind.
He quickly forced those images to the deepest recesses of his mind as Rodara turned
toward him.  Her red hair was like a sunrise just begun with orange and red mixing
together to bring a sense of peace and war all at once.  Her delicate face held a
commanding stare as she worked out the logistics of carrying those he had found to
safety, but his mind saw that playful smile which lightened his heart and made the
men sigh contentedly.  The robes she wore were as threadbare as any other's, even
though their army had demanded that she be kept well clothed and fed.  She still
managed to step around their wishes and suffer the same hardships as those around
her, and never once complained.  Her head turned as his gaze lingered and rewarded
him with the small public smile which hinted at their shared memories.  He grinned
and gave her a wink, before walking up to the tree stump which had been cut off to
provide a rough platform.  As he stepped onto the space at the top, the men and women
who made up their force let out a cheer which grew and grew.  The adoration swept
over him as he let them have their moment.  Togan had always said that common men
needed something miraculous to inspire them, and where the miraculous failed, a king
or general had to suffice.  He tried to remember how close he was to the anniversary
of his advisor's death and could only narrow it to at least five years ago.  As he
ran into difficulty figure out more, he raised his hands to silence those around him.
"BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!"  The cheering went up again at the familiar form of address.
They remembered his promise at the beginning, as well as Greywand's promise on top of
it.  They were already his brothers and sisters in many ways, and soon they would be
more.  "Brothers and Sisters, we have almost come full circle.  Over the second ridge
behind you lays the gate which will take us back to Alastari!"
     Another cheer went up as the realization crashed home to the rank and file.
Rumors had been rampant for most of the year as they had traveled, but this was his
first acknowledgement that they were going home.  Many eyes suddenly held tears of
joy and many people hugged the ones beside them.  Some of the faces wore sadness
though, as thoughts of those who were not with the group came to mind.  "In minutes,
we will form up to step off for the last time.This time though....  This time we have
no rear guard.  We have the main line, the defenders, and the reserves.  All of us
fight to return to our families and friends.  All of us fight to bring Greywand her
prizes!  We all fight FOR ALASTARI!!!"  Cheers went up as weapons were raised.  The
group was battle hardened now and knew what they faced so bravado was not present.
Every mind knew that they might not see the next day, but if they did, they would see
Alastari.  If they did not see tomorrow, then they could pave the way for their
friends and, in many instances, lovers.  "We know our fight will be tough, but I tell
you now that we will make it.  With our home ahead and certain death behind, we
cannot help but to take the gate.  And now I can share something else with you.  The
'key' that Greywand gave me, it will destroy the gate behind us so that we must
merely reach the gate and pass through and our fight is through.  Now we do not know
what the other side will hold, so we must still be wary, but we know what Alastari
offers much more than we know this place, correct?"  Another cheer was raised and it
was obvious that those listening were almost done.  Rosemary, Jason, Picker, Sherman,
and on and on and on the names went.  "For the Blue Falcon!  For Greywand!  FOR
ALASTARI!!!"  The chant was raised and his small army showed all evidence of being
ready to march.  Looking at his Captains, he nodded at them.  Within seconds they
sprang into action yelling and occasionally thumping those too slow in their
opinions.  Tents began collapsing as the campsite disappeared, one dome at a time.
Returning to the ground, Master Beru was walking to his wife when he spotted his most
trusted Captain approaching.  Freddie was amazing in a fight and had a great rapport
with all of the soldiers.  Perhaps when they got back, they would be able to get him
back in the arena.  That would bring back fond memories.  Stopping in front of Master
Beru, the man bowed deeply before taking up his stance.  He looked ready to kill in a
blink, which was always useful in this horrible place.  Master Beru wondered if he
would have liked Freddie before being sent here.  Although an interesting exercise in
logic, it was irrelevant now that he felt Freddie had grown to be a brother to him.
     "Freddie.  You will have the reserve unit.  I know you like leading the charge,
but this is more important.  Motioning with his hand, Master Beru moved away from
others and pulled out the small device which he had carefully guarded for almost
fifteen years.  The slim device was round and flat on two sides, the entire piece
being as thick as his hand and just barely larger than the same.  Adjusting a small
control which he had practiced many times, he actually set up the device the way he
had been shown so long ago.  They walked and talked at the same time with Master Beru
pointing out how the device worked.  "This is the key to getting us out of here.
When I see a break, I will point you toward it and you WILL make a hole there for us
to escape through.  Once the hole is made, you will keep their guardians off us as we
leave and then you will bring your soldiers through with you.  I am attuning this to
both of us.  If either of us says 'SHESTNI ABRIN TAIREGORE' the gate with destroy
itself.  I will only say it if everyone is through or if their guardians are charging
through the gate.  For you....  You will have to decide when you feel it best to use
the phrase if the time comes.  Be aware, I have only one device, so after the phrase
is said, the gate will be gone and even if you found another gate, there would be no
way to open it.  So, I will not order you."
     "You have never ordered me.  You never questioned my courage before, please do
not now.  I will volunteer for this task.  You and Sheila's prizes will get through.
You have my oath on it.  And I will make sure that none of the Warlord's guardians
enter Alastari, that you have my oath on as well.  And if possible, the rest of the
army will be given time to fight clear."  Master Beru's gaze took in the strong chin
and decisive stare fondly.  This man was a gem, even if no one else had ever seen it.
It was truly a blessing to find someone with such a pure heart and desire to serve.
As the general he had to make the hard decisions and this was one he wished he could
avoid, but the facts were too evident.  Freddie was their best chance of returning to
Alastari.  They had to win. "Freddie, thank you.  The first round of drinks are mine
when we return to Lapur."
     "I'll hear none of it.  It isn't decent for a general to have to buy a round of
drinks when his Captain is sitting there.  Now you better get back there before the
entire lot of them decides to leave without you."  Master Beru lingered for a moment
and saw the same unspoken reassurances.  Reaching out his arm, he clasped Freddie's
right hand and arm and gave it a squeezing handshake. Turning on his heel, he marched
off, shouting orders to get the soldiers formed up.  Behind him, Master Beru did not
see the sigh or the longing look that Freddie directed at Rosemary.  His face twisted
for a moment before he brought it under control again.  As he strode toward the
Reserve unit, he pushed aside the thought of letting his lieutenant know about his
change of duty.  She would be mad, but at least she would have a chance.  He could
not bring the woman he loved to a certain death.
     "Okay, gather around.  Across the next rise, approximately three thousand Jusi
Mein Taur, warriors of the society of the spear, stand between us and the gate.
These are well trained, first line troops of the Warlord with moderate armor, spears
for distance, and a sword similar to a broadsword for close combat.  They have good
morale and at least three officers, so they are not likely to break when we
     Master Beru looked at his officers as he talked.  The light-hearted banter from
an hour ago was buried beneath the boulders of responsibility which each carried.  He
knew their mettle and was reassured to see their attentiveness.  With great care, he
laid out his plan.  A few questions came here and there, but the plan was fairly
     Dismissing the officers, Master Beru stayed to answer last minute questions.  As
the questions wrapped up, he caught the tail-end of some heated words between Freddie
and Rosemary.  He did not hear much, but could read their looks well enough.  He had
once been concerned about having both male and female soldiers, but given the amount
of time they had been gone he had long since gotten over that.  Apparently soldiers
were not the only ones to have found solace in each other's arms.  For a moment he
considered countermanding his earlier order, but he knew that their best chance lay
with Freddie holding the gate while the rest fled into it.  He would have stayed
himself, but his orders had been clear.  Greywand herself had made it very clear that
his role was to be a leader and advisor, not a primary combatant.  No more danger
than necessary was to be risked by him, that's what his men were for.  With an effort
he turned away and walked to his Cat-aar.  The animal looked too much like a horse at
times, but the blue, red, and yellow which were their natural colors always helped
bring him to the true facts.  It had only taken a few weeks for their horses to die
upon entering this strange domain and learning to use the Cat-aar had taken quite a
while, but they were better for it.  As he patted her long neck, Isben looked back at
Master Beru expectantly, smiling through the razor sharp teeth which enabled her to
eat meat and serve as an excellent means of attack as well.  Grabbing the extra
length of strap, he climbed up into the saddle, taking the reins in his hands.
Pulling back on the reins, Isben rose up on her hind legs allowing Master Beru a look
around.  The soldiers were lining up in five blocks as he had ordered with the two
most important between the two in front and one in back.  "We eat now?"
     Turning his head slightly, Master Beru took one hand off the reins to scratch
behind Isben's ear.  Her face held an eagerness that would have seemed right on a
child, but the topic made innocence impossible.  She was always hungry as near as he
could tell, but she kept her appetites hidden well.  Unfortunately when she sensed
that she was about to eat she did not hide her appetites at all.
     "Yes Isben.  We eat soon.  Will your sisters join us again?"
     "We make a feast?"
     "I think we shall.  Will they help prepare?"
     I will invite them!  Silver shells, too?!"
     "Silver shells are not to be prepared!!  I fear some may make the feast, but
your sisters may not prepare them."
     Her face looked slightly hurt, but more frustrated.  She always asked the same
question about being able to eat Master Beru's dead soldiers and was always mad that
he burned their bodies.  But he had only made the mistake once of consenting to
allowing silver shells as part of their feast.   The surviving soldiers had almost
revolted right then, not to mention the nightmares which still haunted him after
twelve years.  Cat-aars were messy eaters and tore their food apart to get to the
'most sweet spots'.  The incident had taken weeks to smooth with the soldiers, not to
mention his own conscience.  The feel of his hands made his stomach roll as the
memory of 'catching' a half-eaten head came back to his mind.  Isben had been shaking
the young officer's body when it suddenly snapped off and flew straight as a shot at
him.  His first instinct was to catch it and he would never forget the poor woman's
eyes, dead already, but still accusingly staring at him as Isben asked for the 'top'
back.  Her eyes held a gleam now, as she enthusiastically asked, "You mean we can
have silver shells?"
     "Isben, when the gate is gone, you may eat silver shells who are prepared.  But
you must finish dark shells and softies before silver shells.  Understood?"  Her nod
was a small recompense for the agreement, but it might help them escape.  No one
would remain to burn the corpses anyway, so he might as well get a concession for the
Cat-aars.  That's what he told himself, he did not belief it though.
     "Sir, we are ready!"  Looking at his soldiers, he wondered again whether this
had been worth the cost.  So many lost and so much of his life gone.  Greywand must
surely have a reason for this.  Surely....

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                                    ARKERS ASYLUM
                                Chapter the First 277
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work
together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are
called according to [His] design and purpose. -- Romans 8:28 Amplified

     The background of deep purple clouds highlighted by flashes of lightening
enhanced the macabre menace of the mansion secreted in the secluded silence somewhere
on the outskirts of Arkers Arena known only by hushed whispers as Arkers Asylum.
     Hammer passed through the locked wrought iron gate like a casual thought passing
through a tranquil mind.  There were ways and Hammer had the means available.  That
is all that mattered to the veteran manager as he made his way to the interior of the
mansion.  Once inside the veteran manager would find those he sought.
     It was not such a difficult task to locate BURPS FIRE HAMMER as she was
shameless in her conversational behavior.  Miss Manners she was not.  Hammer slipped
her an Elven Orb of Transport and the lady gladiator followed his instructions to the
     Next on the list was the hideously beautiful TROLL FIRE HAMMER who did the same
when the veteran manager provided her the means to escape her psychosis cell.
     FAIRY FIRE HAMMER was glad to receive the same treatment and followed her lady
comrades to the secret rendezvous where Hammer had arranged the surprise.
     Then the other beauty code named DWARF FIRE HAMMER followed on the heels of her
comrades in arms from Arkers Asylum.  The plan of Hammer was nearly complete.
     Yet another beauty completed the stable roster as ELVEN FIRE HAMMER made her way
to the gathering of gladiators code named ACID FIRE HAMMERZ.
     The lethal ladies received their instructions and returned to their psychosis
cells as prearranged by Hammer.  Their languishment in limbo was about to expire.
     Shortly after dawn on the following day five ornately carved Elven Mirrors of
Migration were delivered to the quarters of the ACID FIRE HAMMERZ inmates to
seemingly innocently decorate their psychosis cells of containment.
     Hammer had retrieved the Elven Orbs of Transport upon the ladies return to their
Arkers Asylum abode.  No one would suspect his femme fatales would soon take to the
Arkers Arena Sands to fulfill a destiny yet unnamed for the ladies untamed.
     As the sunlight penetrated their psychosis cells the unstable stable members
recalled the words of their veteran manager ringing in their ears and wandering deep
within the corridors of their corroded minds:

"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"
Minister of War

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of ARKERS!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, 
Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  Fortune did not smile upon YAKUZA this 
time out who this turn suffered a fall into 7th position in the wake of a 1-4-0 
round.  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness how 
this week DEATH'S CHOSEN went 4-1-0 to move up 7 in the rankings.  My praise to 
CHAMPIONS OF STEEL for their 4-1-0 week this time out.  Indeed, it was a skillfully 
fought round deserving of notice!  LORD BYRON caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested YOR DETHKALL and was awarded 20 
points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, KISERU put down 
V.BALTIMORE-'W.BALT, causing him to lose 16 points of recognition in the process.  As 
is fitting, the most sought after warrior on the challenge boards this week was none 
other than Duelmaster THUNDAR THE CRUEL himself.  This time out TIEN made his bid for 
the throne as he challenged THUNDAR THE CRUEL in an all out contest of skill for 
possession of the title!  Although TIEN made a valiant effort, it did not suffice to 
topple the reign of victorious THUNDAR THE CRUEL.  Informants "close" to the city 
champion have told me that he never fights without pantyhose on beneath his armor.  
Watch out!   
     But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades 
that is city ARKERS.  I saw one fighter that warriors avoided when this week's 
challenge seeking began.  X-FORCE is feared.  This much I can say.  Apparently the 
stalwarts of PENUMBRAL MISTS are catching the bulk of jests down at the challenging 
board for their large share of the avoids.  At the gambling halls I have started to 
bet money on GRILLIN TAR.  He has got the courage it takes.  Witness his challenge 
this turn against KYLUN!  Truth to tell, GRILLIN TAR did not come out of the fight a 
winner, but he managed to capture much attention, gaining 1 in recognition.  A match 
that raised a few eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that AROURA posted a 
challenge against the more highly recognized MEERKAT.  The results, you ask?  Well, 
the firebrand AROURA was beat by MEERKAT.  Remember warriors, this is the discipline 
of steel.   
     Vendettas.  Bloodied blades and broken spears.  Indeed the city has seen more 
than its fair share of red in recent times.  Strange what qualities come forth in the 
face of certain doom.  MAX VON SCUM has the town astir with the news of his Dark 
Arena victory!  EARTH PIG has sworn to take up religion upon living to tell of his 
recent bout with the Dark Arena horrors.  A rare thing indeed!  My condolences to 
ACID FIRE HAMMERZ for their loss of a very promising warrior, ELVEN FIRE HAMMER.  
ELVEN FIRE HAMMER went to doom before the arms of GINGLIO, a warrior of BAUBLES, 
INC..  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She showers the miserable with fortune but sets 
enemies against the victorious.  Remember this!   
     If it were not for my skills as a spy I would have been mugged three times 
already in ARKERS.  Nice atmosphere you have here!  Ahh, but I can hear the spires of 
a far off city calling to me.  I must away!  Till we meet again, remember:  a turtle 
walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a lion runs to slay its prey.-- 
Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THUNDAR THE CRUEL 4661       13  11  0   114       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KISERU 4717                  16   7  1   104       YAKUZA (541)
 HELEN OF TROY 4603           13   5  0   101       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 LADY MACBETH 4627            12   6  0    98       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 MORE MOORE 4864              11   4  0    91       LA PENTARCHIE (481)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ME CHEAT U LOSE 4854          8   2  0    90       ORCISH IDIOMS (563)
 TIEN 4672                    19  16  2    89       YAKUZA (541)
 V.BALTIMORE-'W.BALT 4598     20  23  0    85       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
-HAMMURABI 4219               13  11  0    82       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 OL' GRIZ 4755                11   5  2    82       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
 TIMBER WALKER 3147           12   6  1    81       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ZIP 4383                     10   8  0    66       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 LIN MINMEI 4875               9   6  2    66       YAKUZA (541)
-KIK BAKET OW TOE 4852         6   3  0    66       ORCISH IDIOMS (563)
 FEORDIS INK 4746             16  16  0    64       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 ELIXIR 4815                  10  12  2    64       X-FORCE (484)
 NYTHIA 4923                   6   2  0    64       PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)
 MAX VON SCUM 4737            10   8  1    63       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
 SIR DAMAS 156                 7   3  1    58       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (25)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHAOS INVADER 4867           10   5  1    55       CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202)
 IMBER LACK 4748              12  17  0    53       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 SOHEI 4876                    8   7  2    52       YAKUZA (541)
-ROCK GLAS HUT FUN 4851        7   3  1    51       ORCISH IDIOMS (563)
-SIR HEELIUS 159              10   2  1    50       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (25)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LORD BYRON 4935               4   1  0    48       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 AERYN SUN 4811                8  11  0    44       LEVIATHAN (556)
 YOR DETHKALL 4850             9   9  1    43       CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202)
 MARSHMALLOW 4878              6   9  1    43       LEVIATHAN (556)
 HOLGA KOBB 4898               4   3  1    43       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
-GOT CAT'S TONGUE 4855         7   3  0    36       ORCISH IDIOMS (563)
 ZINGER 4890                   8   3  0    35       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 KYLUN 4984                    4   0  0    34       X-FORCE (484)
 DWARF FIRE HAMMER 4744        3   2  0    34       ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (545)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NYMIRA NAILO 4961             3   2  0    33       DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)
 EARTH PIG 4982                1   0  1    32       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
 MEERKAT 4963                  5   0  0    31       THE ANIMALS (576)
-ZERO 4658                     4   1  0    30       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 UGLY KIDD JOE 4942            3   3  0    30       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
-JUVENAL 4988                  2   0  1    30       WARRIOR POETS (578)
 B.A.S.H. 4909                 6   3  0    29       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
 MORNGRYM 4926                 5   3  0    28       PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)
 MORG POTTS 4868               6   6  0    27       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
-FAT CAT YUMMY 4863            7   1  0    26       ORCISH IDIOMS (563)
 ARAMIL DRALLION 4918          3   4  1    26       DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)
 OUTLAW 4888                   5   6  0    25       CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202)
 RABBIT 4965                   4   1  0    24       THE ANIMALS (576)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FAIRY FIRE HAMMER 4743        2   3  0    23       ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (545)
 ZAERENA NAILO 4920            4   3  1    22       DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)
 TROLL FIRE HAMMER 4742        3   2  2    21       ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (545)
-DIOCLETIAN 4990               1   1  0    21       WARRIOR POETS (578)
 BRUISER 4985                  3   1  0    20       X-FORCE (484)
-MARTIN LUTHER 4987            2   0  1    20       WARRIOR POETS (578)
 SKUNK 4964                    3   2  0    19       THE ANIMALS (576)
 THOG SKULLREAVER 4921         3   4  0    19       DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)
-MENCIUS 4986                  2   0  0    19       WARRIOR POETS (578)
 GINGLIO 5027                  1   0  1    19       BAUBLES, INC. (583)
 ZIPPETY 4889                  3   9  0    18       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 BLACK WIND 4900               4   5  0    17       CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202)
 BURPS FIRE HAMMER 4741        3   2  0    17       ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (545)
 LORD TALIMAR 320              3   6  1    16       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (25)
 ILLMYRN NAILO 4917            2   5  0    16       DEATH'S CHOSEN (570)
 THE AARDVARK 4983             1   0  1    15       LA PENTARCHIE (481)
 INTENT DESIRE 4955            1   3  0    15       TRAGIC DESIRE (575)
 GINGNIA 5026                  1   0  1    14       BAUBLES, INC. (583)
 WARPATH 4960                  3   2  0    13       X-FORCE (484)
 EVATOR'S DESIRE 4954          2   2  0    13       TRAGIC DESIRE (575)
 BGAZ REDCLAW 4925             2   6  0    12       PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)
 GRIM SLAYER 5024              1   0  0    11       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
 HUSK 4977                     2   3  1    10       X-FORCE (484)
 DREYA 4969                    2   4  0    10       LEVIATHAN (556)
 DESPAYRE 5038                 1   0  0    10       CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (202)
 SWAMP FOX 4971                2   3  0     9       SMITHSONIAN (245)
-SIR GILMERE 157               1   6  0     9       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (25)
 AROURA 4928                   0   8  0     9       LEVIATHAN (556)
 RUBY PENDANT 5025             1   5  0     8       BAUBLES, INC. (583)
-SIMON BOLIVAR 4989            1   1  0     8       WARRIOR POETS (578)
 BLAZING DESIRE 4957           1   3  0     6       TRAGIC DESIRE (575)
 GRILLIN TAR 4979              1   3  0     6       LEVIATHAN (556)
 ONIROMANCER 5023              1   0  0     5       PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)
 ZANZIBAR 5020                 1   0  0     3       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 DREW'S DESIRE 4991            0   3  0     3       TRAGIC DESIRE (575)
 SCAVENGER 5028                0   2  0     2       BAUBLES, INC. (583)
 KERBIN NOTTS 5040             0   1  0     1       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BULL FROG 5022                0   1  0     1       THE ANIMALS (576)
 ALLEY CAT 5021                0   1  0     1       THE ANIMALS (576)
 BURIED TREASURE 5029          0   1  0     1       BAUBLES, INC. (583)
 DOH2 5010                     0   1  0     1       GLANGEDDEN (581)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
STRAY CATMAN 386       0  1 0   1                   GINGNIA 5026          277 NONE    
ELVEN FIRE HAMME 4745  3  2 0 ACID FIRE HAMMERZ 545 GINGLIO 5027          277         
RACOON 4966            2  2 0 THE ANIMALS 576       MARTIN LUTHER 4987    276         
FROG 4967              1  2 0 THE ANIMALS 576       JUVENAL 4988          275         
HIGH ELF 403           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          MAX VON SCUM 4737     277 NONE    
MOUNTAIN TROLL 402     0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          EARTH PIG 4982        277 NONE    
ALAIN DRAGOON 4716    19  9 0 LA PENTARCHIE 481     TIEN 4672             273 REVENGED
MALBORGIA II 4978      1  4 0 PENUMBRAL MISTS 571   SPYMASTER 406         277 NONE    
DEADLY DESIRE 4956     1  3 1 TRAGIC DESIRE 575     THE AARDVARK 4983     277         
LUTION DESIRE 4953     0  1 0 TRAGIC DESIRE 575     HUSK 4977             273 NOT REVE
DA1 5039               0  1 0 YAKUZA 541            HIGH ELF 403          277 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Michael J. Eldritch -- Received your diplo regarding The Wisdom Pool.  Will be glad
to send you a copy.  Email me at: rbaphomets@yahoo.com for details. -- Baphomet

Malborgia -- Turnabout is fair play. -- Swamp Fox

Bgaz -- Gee, you made me so happy!  Wins are hard to come by for me.  So THANKS! --

Elixer -- Wanted me real badly, huh?  I proved easy, didn't I?  I'm a poet, not a
fighter, but Curator wants more.  How did I get here? -- Lord Byron

Inochi -- We proved again, what I already knew.  Salute!  (And good-bye--finally!) --
Helen Of Troy

French Collection -- That was another great round for us good guys at 0-0!  That puts
us winning the past two months 1-0!  We are hot!  Still at 5-9, but who's counting?
Are we on, or do you give? -- Curator & The Z Man

Toker -- Well, I am NOT nearly as cool as my sister, Lady Fern.  That's for sure.
Sorry, but we are one of the many nerds of the family.  But, again, welcome to you
and your Poets. -- Curator

DeGotti -- A celebration!?  At the Dragon's Tooth Tavern?  Congrats!  Drinks are on
you.  We will be there. -- Curator and The Smithsonians

Those heisting a large shield will probably find the need for 13 ST to make it most
effective to hide behind. -- Curator

Swamp Fox -- For that performance, I have been consigned to reconstruction.  May we
meet again. -- Malborgia II

Sohei -- Alright already! *wince* -- Nythia

Zippety -- You do realize that I had to pay a smith to remove my helm?  Not pleasant.
Could I buy you a drink next time, and just skip the duel? -- Bgaz

Junvenal -- Well now, I didn't see YOU coming.  Are all you poets so enthusiastic? --

Curator -- I am learning, and I will adapt as necessary.  I still don't see dual-
shields in my near future though.  Still, I have a lot to learn. -- Eldritch

Le Pentarque -- Cannes WAS nice, but it would seem you Frenchies aren't done yet.
Looks like L'Monsignor has a bit of fight left in him.  *wry grin* -- Eldritch

Sorry Marshmallow, blame HAL for that.  My greetings were for the Warrior Poets. --
Michael Eldritch, mgr. Penumbral Mists
P.S.  D.K. Toker...I am interested, and may even travel to Talcama soon.  If you
would, I would accept your probation, and would like to be considered.  I have much
to learn, but am open to suggestion.

All -- I hope other teams fared better than Death's Chosen in the Tourney!  Zaerena
went 0-2, Nymira went 0-2.  Bhab, I see why Hostility doesn't fight here.  The term
Turtle Soup comes to mind.  Be that as it may, the first drink is free at "The Last
Stop" in honor of those Brave Gladiators from Arkers that fell.  Salut! -- Azaziel

Q.O.W. -- How exactly can you tell which weapon a particular fighter prefers?  Aside
from, watch them closely. -- Azaziel
P.S.  I.e. their favorite weapon.

Alpha Omega -- Where are you? -- Azaziel

D.K. Toker -- Received your diplo, considering the pros and cons of joining for now
though, consider Death's Chosen an ally to the Desolate Empire.  I'll send you a
diplo, and assuming Hal doesn't eat it, I'll explain in better detail. -- Azaziel

Kylun -- Ow! -- Illmryan

Aerynsun -- Nicely Done! and thank you, I felt like I was back in school again
getting pushed around. -- Aramil

Meerkat -- Well done!  Next time you send me to the hospital, there better be
flowers! -- Nymira

Outlaw -- Azaziel says I should play nice with you!  Want me to tend to your
hamstring?  *wink*  Good fight, sis! -- Zaerena

Zinger -- No fun! -- Thog

Black Storm -- If you can answer the Q.O.W., regarding how to discover a warrior's
favorite weapon, I'll convince Azaziel to join as a probate. -- Zaerena

Zippety -- It was kind of a blur. -- Kylun

Skunk -- That kind of stunk. -- Warpath

Bgaz Red Claw -- I'll have to take your word on that. -- Bruiser

Lord Byron -- The way things have been going I kind of expected to lose. -- Elixir

Sponsored by Master Beru Enterprises LLC, all rights reserved, patents, trademarks,
and copyrights pending.  Nothing in this ad to be taken as a guarantee either implied
or expressed or even contemplated I wouldn't trust these guys to pay you even and any
relationship to legitimate businesses is purely coincidental so visit at your own
risk and check to see if you still have your wallet when you leave.  Restrictions
apply.  See dealer for details.

Scavenger and Buried Treasure!  Get out of town for a while and see if you can find

any mines around here!  Ginglio and Gingnia, get our bags upstairs.  HEY!  What are
you staring at??  You ain't ever seen a woman wearing a Ruby Pendant before!?  Stop
looking...NOW!!! -- Ruby Pendant

All -- A word of warning, Ruby done been hit a few too many times in the head.  I
would avoid her if I were you. -- Gingnia

ARRGGGHHH!!!  Where be my--Buried Treasure!!  What do you think!!  I think I can get
on Letterman, what do you think, huh???

Please laugh, it is the only way to make him shut up. -- Scavenger

Does any one know where the toilet is around here!! -- Ginglio

Zookeeper -- My apologies for the tardy reply, as I am also in the Dark ages being in
a foreign land and all.  Becoming part of an alliance does many things.  You have
instant back-up wherever you may need it!  The DE makes it a priority to help our
Brothers, to the end!  Endless amounts of info and guides also become available as
well as numerous different opinions and strategies.  Sadly, random match-ups cannot
prevent deaths, that's why RSI puts avoids on the strat sheet.  I know I do my best
to stay away from alliance mates.  In 31 I matched up twice with an alliance mate,
but that's part of the deal--no one is ever really safe on the sands.  I do wish that
you would reconsider. -- DK Blackstorm

Sir Curator and Z man -- The intent was not to anger we are still amazed that we are
ahead, and I know you hate to lose.  This is just some overtime so you can show us
how it's done. -- Blackstorm

Lord Byron -- Grrr, bet you can't do that again. -- Black wind

Dark Knight Toker -- Hail, brother!!  Arkers is such a nice place.  Not the type of
impression I was hoping to have with friend Zookeeper, stop killing his guys, be
nice.  We try not to kill a lot here, sort of messes up the atmosphere. (lol) -- DK

Azaziel -- Hail!  The AOL has reared their heads over in 31.  Too bad that they don't
know that they're on their own.  Since they appear to be newbies, we won't thrash
them too badly.  It shouldn't take long; they are vastly outnumbered, but we won't be
too nasty.  Have you seen any anywhere else?  The Styx is a great place!  Nice place
to go recruiting. -- DK Blackstorm
P.S.  Is there some reason why I'm receiving so many challenges from you?

Memento Mori -- Blackstorm said so too.  I just thought it looked cool.  It should
work, but it doesn't.  Easy win for you, I guess -- Outlaw

Feordis Ink -- Ooh no!  Not you again!!  Is it just me or does the GA suck as much as
I learned it does? -- Yor Dethkall

Zaerna Nailo -- Nice fight, you got lucky though.  My minute 2 was way off.  What was
Blackstorm thinking having me do 9-9-6-L. -- Outlaw

Max von Scum -- I hate you!  Stop putting grease on your armor, it's hard enough to
hit you as it is without my spear slipping off you. -- Chaos Invader

Ah, I'm happy to see that the Consortiumites are rising with pride again!  But I
thought they had enough and I had removed the Consortiumites-faced punching-balls
from my training hall, so I'm afraid that our little contest is over....  Moreover,
I'm not sure to keep this team active, with the DM 81 rising, and anyway, we have
plenty of other places to cross our blades!  The prune juice is on us. -- Pentarque,
proud but peaceful.

Welcome, DK Toker!  Poets at last!  By the way, I grew fed up with the bullying and
mute DM 18, so my team there became a kind of tourney team.

Thundar the Cruel -- Congrats on getting the Throne for your able manager Max!  Let's
see how long you hold it, bub, lol. -- Kiseru and friends

Azaziel -- The VC haven't existed for several months.  A few of their members went on
to form another alliance, while others joined previously existing alliances or went
solo.  The AOL is to my knowledge a new alliance made up of new players.  I believe
they have members in 31, I'm not sure.  There is no war of alliances unless you
consider the upcoming TW in arena 47, which is widely considered the greatest war of
all. -- Sensei

ZZZZZs -- Thank you for the compliments.  I'm the first slasher that Sensei has ever
graduated.  Are you going to fight in ADM?  My manager is trying to sell me, so I'm
depressed. -- Inochi

Baltimore -- I understand.  You won fair and square.  I see your record is improving!
I suspect it will more than likely be either me or you that faces The Cruel one for
the Throne this turn.  I don't favor his chances.... -- Tien

Toker -- Good to see you in Arkers.  Hope you stay around awhile.  This is, in my
opinion, the most underrated of slow arenas.  If you take a look at who runs teams
here you will see a powerful lineup of very good managers.  One day I hope to join
them!  Every manager here has been nothing but a gentleman/gentlewoman.  We live the
Andorian fighting life while others talk of it!  But do not confuse good natured as
weak.  Every manager here will be trying to take your head off!  Will any of your
teammates be joining us?  I sold my team in 47 to a co-worker of my significant
other; I was having real life problems paying the bills...so my beloved game had to
take a backseat.  He has informed me he will be going be the name of Crypt Keeper.
My husband (who use to play a lot) is helping him out but still, be easy on him, he
is still a newb.  By the way, if you or anyone you know is interested in buying a
good ADM fighter or team let me know.  My team here in Arkers is the only thing I'm
allowing in my budget right now.  That goes for anyone here...and Inochi the great
slasher is also for sale at a cheap price! -- Sensei

DeGotti -- Are you paying for everyone at the Dragon's Tooth, lol? -- Sensei

Azaziel -- Thank you for the send off!  Heck, I've taught my manager a lot about my
style! -- Inochi

Michael Eldritch -- I personally dislike the "two-shield" types myself and refuse to
run them.  However, that is due to me having to read 10 or more pages of a fight,
then on how I judge how effective they are.  They do win in the lower ranks a lot.  I
do run TPs, but more offensively and with high Wits, and they still win.  Much more
exciting.  However, if you do have trouble with them there are ways I deal with two-
shield types.  Just diplo me and I'll explain how Kiseru, Inochi, and the rest of my
fighters destroy them. -- Sensei

Blackstorm -- Hey darkie Knight, you are not performing up to your potential.  Don't
let your alliance mate out do you...this is supposed to be your arena!!! -- Yakuza

Arkers Assemblage -- Be it known that the ladies of ACID FIRE HAMMERZ have once again
been released from their psychosis cells of confinement to return to the Arkers Arena
sands for God and Glory! -- Hammer/Minister of War

Erudite Ed -- Please provide a current listing of stables and managers from your
Arkers Archives to orient the newcomers as to whom they may offend or cross blades
with! -- Hammer/Minister of War

     Here's what I have.  These are teams listed in last turn's newsletter.  If I've
     gotten anyone's name wrong, just let me know and I'll fix it. -- The Saint,
     keeper of lists
     ASSASSIN NATION        Ghab            PENUMBRAL MISTS     Michael Eldritch
     CELESTIAL KNIGHTS      DeGotti         SMITHSONIAN         The Curator
     CHAMPIONS OF STEEL     Blackstorm      THE ANIMALS         The Zoo Keeper
     DEATH'S CHOSEN         Azaziel         TRAGIC DESIRE       ?
     LA PENTARCHIE          Le Pentarque    WARRIOR POETS       Dark Knight Toker
     LEVIATHAN              ?               X-FORCE             Savant
     MIDDLE WAY 11          Leeta           YAKUZA              Sensei Jan
     NORTHERN BADLANDS      Maximillian     Z GLADIATORZ        Mr. Zee
     ORCISH IDIOMS          Slugbait

Arkers Associates -- You All Know Who You May or May Not Be!  You May Thank or Clank
Your Weapons and Armor to Celebrate the Return of the Stable that Maximillian
Provided as a Gift Many Moons Ago!  Thanks Again, Max!  My Ladies are Here to Stay
and Slay! -- Hammer/Minister of War

Curator -- Will Gentleman Jack on the rocks do?  I am not much for cigars, but young
pretties are always good to have around! -- DeGotti

Azaziel -- This team is definitely NOT tourney worthy!  I am running them for
sentimental value. -- DeGotti

Yore Dethkall -- Ah, but I never come when called!  And it's done great things for my
life. -- Feordis Ink

If this dude is an HONEST merchant, I'll eat him.  He's got shifty eyes. -- Imber

Captured Orc.  (sigh)  Speaking as an orc myself, I'd like to osterize him.  He does
incredibly bad things for the public perception of orcs everywhere.  How would you
like it if we opened an arena down in Uhaurek and put a Captured Human on the standby
team? -- Holga Kobb

Black Wind -- You need one of those "smoke scrubbers" or whatever they're called that
factories use to clean up their emissions.  Then you could be pure, colorless, CLEAN
wind! -- Morg Pots
P.S.  Yeah, I know, sounds too good to be true, and besides, it lacks the right sense
of menace for a gladiator's nom de sword.

Yep, it's us.  We just couldn't stay away.  Be gentle with us, okay?  We're a little
rusty after a few months on the shelf. -- the Middle Way

2 November 2006
I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

30 November 2006
NEED A TURF WAR ALLIANCE??  Master Beru, Wretch, Reaper, and Xoan have come together
to form an Alliance for the TURF WAR in DM47 with no regards for experience in
competitions or even the game.  If you want to enjoy the thrills of the competition,
we have space for up to three more managers.  Contact Master Beru at
d_spinella@msn.com for more information or send a note to Master Beru at DM 29--Army
of Darkness.  If you are interested, we need to move quickly, since the contest
starts in January and there are a few requirements to meet to participate.  May your
blades find the chinks in your enemy's armor. -- Master Beru

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MAX VON SCUM unbelievably slew HIGH ELF in a crowd pleasing 8 minute Dark Arena fight.
MALBORGIA II was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
EARTH PIG murdered MOUNTAIN TROLL in a action packed 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DA1 was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TIEN was overpowered by THUNDAR THE CRUEL in a 1 minute Challenge Title match.
OL' GRIZ slimly lost to LADY MACBETH in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
ZIP savagely defeated FEORDIS INK in a 2 minute brutal Challenge struggle.
ELIXIR devastated HOLGA KOBB in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
BRUISER was handily defeated by MARSHMALLOW in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
LORD TALIMAR lost to RABBIT in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
BGAZ REDCLAW was defeated by MORG POTTS in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
ZAERENA NAILO was outwaited by ZINGER in a 7 minute gory Challenge fight.
MORNGRYM luckily beat SKUNK in a popular 5 minute gory Challenge melee.
AROURA was luckily beaten by MEERKAT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
GRILLIN TAR was handily defeated by KYLUN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
HUSK was subdued by ILLMYRN NAILO in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
INTENT DESIRE beat SWAMP FOX in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge conflict.
V.BALTIMORE-'W.BALT was overpowered by KISERU in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HELEN OF TROY handily defeated LIN MINMEI in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
MORE MOORE devastated M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
TIMBER WALKER demolished SOHEI in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
IMBER LACK was overpowered by NYTHIA in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
SIR DAMAS devastated CAPTURED ORC in a popular 1 minute gruesome one-sided contest.
DWARF FIRE HAMMER was subdued by AERYN SUN in a 3 minute beginner vs. expert bout.
YOR DETHKALL was devastated by LORD BYRON in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CHAOS INVADER overpowered TROLL FIRE HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
EVATOR'S DESIRE was overpowered by NYMIRA NAILO in a 1 minute uneven fight.
B.A.S.H. defeated RUBY PENDANT in a 1 minute bout.
ARAMIL DRALLION savagely defeated ZIPPETY in a exciting 4 minute gruesome melee.
BLACK WIND overcame SCAVENGER in a 1 minute bout.
UGLY KIDD JOE handily defeated BURPS FIRE HAMMER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
OUTLAW won victory over DREW'S DESIRE in a 3 minute veteran vs. novice bout.
THOG SKULLREAVER won victory over DREYA in a popular 1 minute fray.
DEADLY DESIRE was executed by THE AARDVARK in a 1 minute gory one-sided match.
FAIRY FIRE HAMMER overpowered ALLEY CAT in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
ELVEN FIRE HAMMER was dealt death by GINGLIO in a 1 minute novice's duel.
WARPATH bested BLAZING DESIRE in a 2 minute novice's battle.
BULL FROG was devastated by GRIM SLAYER in a popular 1 minute uneven bout.
ONIROMANCER subdued BURIED TREASURE in a 2 minute amateur's match.
GINGNIA murdered STRAY CATMAN in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
ZANZIBAR unbelievably bested KERBIN NOTTS in a 9 minute brutal amateur's bout.
DESPAYRE handily defeated DOH2 in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  16         AIMED BLOW        27 -  16 -  2      63  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         TOTAL PARRY       50 -  32 -  1      61  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         SLASHING ATTACK   40 -  27 -  2      60  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         LUNGING ATTACK    46 -  37 -  4      55  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    9         BASHING ATTACK    57 -  65 -  6      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         PARRY-STRIKE      12 -  14 -  0      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         WALL OF STEEL     12 -  14 -  1      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         STRIKING ATTACK   52 -  63 -  9      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -   5 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     11 -  32 -  0      26  |

Turn 277 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        5 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  7         3  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  4     AIMED BLOW         1 -  4         2  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     8 -  8                                       1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  KISERU 4717                16   7  1  104 YAKUZA (541)
SLASHING ATTACK  HELEN OF TROY 4603         13   5  0  101 SMITHSONIAN (245)
TOTAL PARRY      LADY MACBETH 4627          12   6  0   98 SMITHSONIAN (245)
BASHING ATTACK   TIEN 4672                  19  16  2   89 YAKUZA (541)
AIMED BLOW       NYTHIA 4923                 6   2  0   64 PENUMBRAL MISTS (571)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KISERU 4717.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SKUNK 4964.  The ten other most popular fighters were ARAMIL DRALLION 4918, DWARF 
FIRE HAMMER 4744, ZIP 4383, ZAERENA NAILO 4920, OL' GRIZ 4755, MORG POTTS 4868, 

The least popular fighter this week was ZANZIBAR 5020.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MAX VON SCUM 4737, ZINGER 4890, DOH2 5010, BLAZING DESIRE 4957, ELVEN 

                            JANUARY FACE-TO-FACE IN TEMPE!

Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 12-14, 2007.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $149.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy, which 
includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's reception (yes, really!), free 
airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), fitness center, 
jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation by December 15 
before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and several people 
were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  Look for 
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to it and that we will see you there!