Date   : 01/21/2010    Duedate: 02/17/2010


DM-8    TURN-318

This Weeks Top Honors


(8-5066) [17-14-0,104]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

WAR BOND                       SALIVA
SMITHSONIAN (245)              HEAD BANGERS (595)
(8-5066) [17-14-0,104]         (8-5163) [4-4-0,47]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERBIN NOTTS                   DEAD LEE
MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)            YOU PAY I SLAY (373)
(8-5040) [14-28-0,70]          (8-3142) [1-2-0,61]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DOGPOUND (477)              33
2. MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)         28      Z GLADIATORZ (519)
3. GENERALS (590)              26      Unchartered Team
4. HEAD BANGERS (595)          19
5. SMITHSONIAN (245)            1      HEAD BANGERS (595)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 CONSANGUINEOUS (567)      76  22  2 77.6   1/ 1 Z GLADIATORZ (519)        9  2 1
 2/ 2 Z GLADIATORZ (519)       166  80  1 67.5   2/ 4 GENERALS (590)            6  9 1
 3/ 3 SMITHSONIAN (245)        616 399 13 60.7   3/ 5*HEAD BANGERS (595)        5 10 0
 4/ 4 YOU PAY I SLAY (373)      35  27  2 56.5   4- 2 CONSANGUINEOUS (567)      4  1 1
 5/ 0 DOGPOUND (477)            58  50  3 53.7   5/ 7 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)       4 10 0
 6/ 5 GENERALS (590)            28  29  5 49.1   6/ 3 SMITHSONIAN (245)         3  3 0
 7/ 6*HEAD BANGERS (595)        16  23  1 41.0   7/ 0 DOGPOUND (477)            2  0 0
 8/ 7 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)      144 210  3 40.7   8/ 6 YOU PAY I SLAY (373)      2  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #41 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the mountains west of Fratsfa:

     There was no cover beyond their resting place, just the open hillside rushing up
an increasingly steep slope to the walls of the keep.  Elosjon looked at it
unhappily.  "No chance of sneaking up any further," he muttered.
     "A rabbit, even a mouse, couldn't hide there," Fandil agreed.  "But that may not
apply to--"
     Suddenly there was something in front of them.  Big as a bear, roughly bear-
shaped, standing on the naked hillside and growling.  It had impressive teeth and
claws, a single eye in the center of its forehead, and it reeked of sulfur, as if
anything was needed to underline its demonic origin.  It advanced with stiff
movements, as though walking was a new skill for it.
     Elosjon stared at it for several minutes, increasingly indignant.  "Is this a
joke?" he demanded of the world at large.  "If that thing's a genuine demon, I'll--"
He paused.  On the off chance he was wrong, maybe he shouldn't offer to eat it if it
should turn out to be a demon after all.  "If that's a demon, I'll be very
surprised," he said.
     "Good save," Fandil murmured.  More loudly, he added, "It does have a 'made in
haste' air about it.  Which doesn't mean it isn't dangerous."
     "It's practically a GOLEM," the young mage said.  Sparks of irritation snapped
between his fingers.
     "True," Fandil agreed.
     Elosjon shot him a suspicious look.  If the old man was laughing at him--!
     But Fandil's face was smooth and serious.  "Do you know the tricks to handling
golems?" he asked.
     Elosjon nodded.  "That was an early lesson, will, dealing with simple ones was
early.  But yes, I know how to handle some complicated ones, too."  He paused,
reviewing his training; now was not the time to make statements he couldn't back up,
and what if this bumbling thing was a golem of demonic origin?  Or had elements of
the demonic in its construction?
     Fandil was frowning, studying the 'bear-demon-golem'.  "I don't sense anything
truly demonic about this," he said finally, "and I suspect that it was made... almost
carelessly, to scare away ordinary people who might happen through this area."  He
looked over at his companion.  "I believe you can handle this."
     Elosjon nodded again, sharply.  "Yes, I can."  Sparks snapped through his
fingers again, and as he brought his hands up, they formed a ball of lightning.  The
"bear" fixed its one eye on him and made a sound, not a roar, more of... it was
almost a whine.  He flexed his magical faculty as a musician might flex his fingers
before a performance.  The "bear" watched closely, making no move to attack or to run
     "Not much of a watchdog," Elosjon said, studying it over his ball of lightning.
     "Being a watchdog is not in a bear's nature," Fandil replied, "and I think this
may have started with a true bear.  The magician who made a bear into... this is an
abomination.  Death is the kindest gift you can give this creature."
     "Yes."  He spread his hands, releasing the ball of energy without further
comment.  It sped toward the bear golem.
     Who could have avoided it, the lightning was fast but not so fast as natural
lightning.  Instead, the creature stood up taller and opened its arms as though to
hug the deadly energy.

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #42 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the mountains west of Fratsfa:

     Elosjon had almost all his attention on the spell he was using.  A little on the
bear-golem itself, too, but spells had to be watched closely or they ran away from
you and did things you didn't expect.  And he didn't have to worry about secondary
attacks, not with someone like Fandil to watch his back.  That was just amazing--
Fandil, who had a high reputation among the experienced magicians of the Andorian
League, was watching HIS back!  If he survived, he'd have something really impressive
to tell his friends.  But that was for later; for now, he had to hold his ball of
lightning steady as it flew into the arms of the bear-golem.  It was getting a little
loose, trying to unravel.  He remembered his instructor warning him about that:
warning him that lightning didn't really want to form a ball, so he was going to have
to hold it together with his own will.  He could do that... if his attention didn't
stray.  He tightened it up and resisted the temptation to push it a little faster.
"Speed is the enemy of coherence in a lightning spell," his instructor had said.
Move it too fast and it would come apart.
                         *****   ***   *****   ***   *****
     Fandil watched the youngster for a moment and then nodded.  Elosjon lacked
experience, but his instincts and training were good.  If he survived this
expedition, he would be a fine magician, someday.  One to be reckoned with.  And for
the matter in hand, he was doing very well.  The boy could be left to it while he
himself did other things.
     Such as watched for other guards.  True, he had said this bear-golem had been
made almost casually to frighten away ordinary people.  He believed that.  But he
also believed that there would be at least one genuine, dangerous watchdog.  Maybe a
real demon, maybe a more carefully-made golem--
     A sudden scent of sulfur-and-something announced the arrival of the real guard.
Fandil scanned the hillside quickly and saw it condense out of a drift of mist or
smoke.  A true demon--it had the classic markers: red skin, hooves, horns, tail,
wings, nasty disposition.  Not an impressive demon, probably one of the lowest rank.
But still, a demon, and even the least of them required careful handling.
     Try simple things first.  He had dealt with true demons before and knew the
drill.  First a spell of banishment, with a little extra magical muscle behind it.
It... twitched.  Twitched?  Fandil's mustache bristled.  The demon should have
vanished in a cloud of saffron smoke!
     He took a deep breath and coughed a little at the sulfur fumes.  Not just as
simple as it looked, then.  Well, he could STILL handle it.  Fandil narrowed his eyes
and traced out the patterns, the ripples, in the Arcanum that had resulted from the
encounter between demon and spell.  Odd.  A flat in the key of aleph, a kink in
gimel, and... a medusa-knot in the tertiary subtext?  That should not be possible.
Medusa-knots were totally incompatible with the key of aleph.  No one but a Chaos-
mage would even attempt--
     Fandil's mind stumbled.  A Chaos-mage.  He had been worried about one earlier,
but he'd let that concern lapse.  Big mistake.  Maybe very big mistake, if this semi-
demon was alert and skillful enough to grasp him through center of the medusa-knot.
No time to try to close it now, even if he could.  The important thing was to get OUT
of the key of aleph before--  No.  He brought his unruly thoughts under control.
Don't even think about what could be done against him, because a truly skilled
opponent could pluck that right out of his mind.  More than one mage had defeated
himself that way.
     Key of epsilon, that's what he wanted.  Seven right-hand sharps and a tremolo.
Twist of lemon if there's time... yes!  There came the counter through the medusa-
knot:  the three-legged asp.  It rammed into the epsilon shield, was shredded,
twisted, and sent back.  Strong, though.  Even stopping it depleted his energies.
     The demon's form shifted, flowing through a truly disgusting ape into something
unearthly but compellingly female.  Fandil took refuge in humor, which no demon
understood:  What would his sister Fern call this?  A Calamitous Calla?  The shape
wobbled and fell in on itself.


     "Okay," Lenpro said, "not better a bad ruler than none.  How do you propose to
make sure we get a good ruler, though?  Or even tell if someone will make a good
ruler or not?"
     "Emperor Alonj of Fratsfa--"
     "Will not be acceptable to most people, because they believe he's either crazy
or a half-wit."
     "He is NOT crazy or a half-wit," Fern answered.  "And he has one thing that
others don't: legitimacy.  It would be legitimate for Alonj to govern the whole
     "But he doesn't want to," Sizzling Sunflower protested.  "We've all heard that."
     "And sometimes we have to do things we don't want to," her teammate Outcast
Orchid said.  "We've all heard that, too.  If Emperor Alonj can hold off whatever
this Korneth is trying to do until Andoria finds its feet, well, I figure he's got a
     Sunflower ignored that.  Pointedly.  "And if Emperor Alonj doesn't want to do
something, his wife will back him up," she went on.
     "Unless she sees it as his duty," Orchid said.  "Very strong on duty, Empress

       + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Report from the Tourney #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Larkin here, with a report from the Winter Tourney.  Okay, maybe this isn't
Atlantis, but it's somewhere warm, and if that isn't a beach, at least it's sand,
and, as advertised, there are drinks with umbrellas in them.  And young women with a
lot of suntan showing.  By the time you read this, the tourney will be over, but
while I'm writing it, the tourney is NOT over.  And a lot of you guys reading this
won't have been able to go, anyway.
     I'm interviewing Zalgor Prigg, one of the managers participating in the Old
Valamantis Bloodgames, and let me tell you, Old Valamantis is not a place you want to
hang around if you don't have to.  It's rotten with magic, to begin with--Folstrom
magic, the blackest there is--and then it's got all this blood and violence on top of
it, and it makes for a dark and scary venue.  Anything might rise out of the ruins
around the arena, summoned by the blood and the curses of the managers.
     "Mr. Prigg, could you tell us why you--"
     "It was the play on words," the manager said, overriding the question.  "I
couldn't resist--the chance to call a Bloodgames team Phoenix, you know, the 'rising
from the ashes of death' business.  Of course, then I had to change it to Phonetix,
but that's okay, keep people guessing."
     "I've heard the Commission mages talking about that name, sir, and they seem
alarmed.  One of them said the name was practically a spell in itself, used here."
     "I heard.  That's why I had to change it."
     "Have you considered what might actually rise from the ashes and blood here as a
     "Well, no, but that isn't my business, you know.  I manage gladiators.  Let the
mages worry about what pops in from some other dimension.  Besides, what if nothing
     "But, sir, there have already been reports of zombie rats and tentacled monsters
lurking in the backs of the locker rooms!  And someone is bound to consider that you
have a partial responsibility--"
     "No," Prigg said, "I have no responsibility for that kind of thing.  I'm no
magician, I haven't been reading forbidden tomes...."  He paused, looking thoughtful.
"Maybe it was TigToad with his Obscure Lore...."
     "I don't believe there's a team of that name in this Bloodgames--"
     "No, not here.  Earlier, in Veastian.  He could have been, hmm, preparing for
this, opening contacts if not gates, stuff like that.  Has anybody seen any Dark
Toads around?"
     "Not until they've had six drinks with umbrellas in them.  Tell me, sir, have
you given any thought to the moral implications of the Bloodgames?"
     "What moral implications?" the manager asked.  "This isn't about morals, it's
about survival.  And the way to survive on the sands is to kill your opponents every
chance you get!"
     "Yes, but--"
     "There's a reason they don't hold these contests up in Andoria," the manager
said sternly.  "Good people in their ways, the Andorians, but they just aren't cut
out for this kind of grim business."  He paused to listen to the roar of the crowds
jamming the ancient arena.  Checked the marquee where slaves dangled from ropes and
updated the records of participants.  Nodded, grimly satisfied.  "Another death.
That's good--can't have too many survivors, or it cheapens the victory at the end."
     "But the death toll--"
     "Bah!  Don't get the idea that these gladiators are the flower of Alastarian
youth.  The ones who enter the Bloodgames are the men with no hope.  We offer them a
future they could never have dreamed of, but they have to work for it, sweat for it,
bleed for it, and sometimes die for it.  The survivors..." he bared his teeth in a
grin that would not have looked out of place on a wolf, "they owe us EVERYTHING, and
they'll do anything to repay us."
     "And besides," Zalgor Prigg went on, "if you really want to take up the moral
question, go talk to the Grey Wand.  She's the one set this up, after all."
     "I don't see the point, frankly.  She's got plenty of Lord Protectors, and they
have longer training, skills polished and honed to a--"
     "The Bloodgames victors, they're Her enforcers," Prigg said.  "No polish, sure,
but when a dirty job needs doing, one of these guys will do it, and no questions

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 317): CONFIDENCE of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 637): GREEN THUMB of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 636): HELENA of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 621): JILLIAN NORMAN of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 626): WILD FIRE of DISASTER (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 621): AIKIDO of DARK FORCES (The Walkin' Dude, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 620): DEATH RATTLE of ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 618): SPUD of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 583): CORBIE LEK of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 579): HELL HOUND of DA DOG POWNDAZ (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 570): SHADOW BLADE of SERPENT'S HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 265): NOT SO HOT of PYROMANIA (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 469): VALNAKORINE of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 219): WITCH of DOGS OF WAR (Omega, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 522): VISION of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 317): Z GLADIATORS (Z Man, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 637): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 636): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 621): SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 626): MEDAL OF HONOR Z3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 621): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 620): GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 618): RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 583): MEDAL OF HONOR Z1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 579): THE PLAGUE (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 570): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 265): BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 469): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 219): INSECTOSOIDS (The Storm Lord, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 521): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 636): HELENA of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
              (turn 635): TYNE of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 620): RAVING LUNATIC of DARK FORCES (The Walkin' Dude, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 619): SHORT ORDER JOE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 618): HERSHEL WILLIAMS of MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 579): COUNTRY RHODES of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 264): NUMBSKULL of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
                            BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
                            PULLED HAMSTRING of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 219): WITCH of DOGS OF WAR (Omega, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, Warriors of ARKERS.  Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir to give 
you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport.  Good things come to 
those who fight well, as MIDDLE WAY 11 can attest, moving up by 2.  DOGPOUND had 
cause to celebrate, after BLACK LAB got 23 points by beating ZILCH.  A certain 
someone should cut down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 17 points to 
BLACK LAB.  (Discrete enough, ZILCH?) Can you believe it?  CONFIDENCE apparently has 
better things to do as ARKERS' Duelmaster than show up and fight!  What can be a 
greater victory?  WAR BOND has taken its place as the top, as ARKERS' new Duelmaster. 
So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead trees? 
Someone's got a basic problem...   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Like the noble eagle soaring amongst the 
mountaintops, so stand the warriors of CONSANGUINEOUS, alone and unchallenged.  Like 
a pup with its tail between its legs, SMITHSONIAN scurried away from CONSANGUINEOUS.  
Oh, the shame!  If challenges were horses, DEAD LEE could open up a fast food joint!  
     Is there life after death?  Pragmatics (and warriors) know there is death after 
life!  Sober up, young warriors, and take note of D.D. EISENHOWER's fate!  JACKSON of 
GENERALS handily did him in.  Experience counts for something on ARKERS' sands.  Ask 
not for whom the sword slashes; it slashes for thee.   
     Do not think spyreporting in ARKERS is the highlight of my life.  As if buffeted 
by forces of nature beyond my control, I must take my leave of this place.  Like a 
mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid ARKERS farewell-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WAR BOND 5066                17  14  0   104       SMITHSONIAN (245)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CONFIDENCE 4894              17   5  0   116       CONSANGUINEOUS (567)
 BLACK LAB 4265               10   4  0    97       DOGPOUND (477)
 INDIOR LANDIS 5058           18  22  0    96       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
-BORZOI 3983                  13   7  0    96       DOGPOUND (477)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOLFHOUND 4158               13   6  0    82       DOGPOUND (477)
-GERONIMO 5125                 6   4  0    78       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 ZILCH 5081                   12   7  0    77       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 KERBIN NOTTS 5040            14  28  0    70       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 IMA SLAYER 2884              10   4  2    67       YOU PAY I SLAY (373)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ZITHER 5153                  12   1  0    66       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 DEAD LEE 3142                 1   2  0    61       YOU PAY I SLAY (373)
-CONFESSION 4895              12   7  0    59       CONSANGUINEOUS (567)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ALAMO 5151                    7   3  0    55       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 JACKSON 5127                  6   2  2    51       GENERALS (590)
 SALIVA 5163                   4   4  0    47       HEAD BANGERS (595)
 KUBLA KHAN 5126               6   2  0    37       GENERALS (590)
-ZIGGY 5194                    3   0  1    34       Z GLADIATORZ (519)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NORM QUESHA 5171              8   6  0    30       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 MOTOR HEAD 5205               3   2  0    26       HEAD BANGERS (595)
 KORN 5160                     3   5  0    24       HEAD BANGERS (595)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KOTTER NAHL 5197              2   5  0    20       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CHOW 4552                     1   4  1    19       DOGPOUND (477)
 ZORK 5195                     3   0  0    18       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 SLIP KNOT 5162                3   5  0    17       HEAD BANGERS (595)
 ZEPHYR 5204                   3   1  0    11       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
-JACK RUSSELL 4877             1   0  0     9       DOGPOUND (477)
 BAT OF LASHES 5207            1   2  0     5       HEAD BANGERS (595)
 TZU 5210                      1   1  0     5       GENERALS (590)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
HO-BO-BEATDOWN 5213     0  1 0 GENERALS 590         HIGH ELF              318  NONE
S.W.J. 5211             0  2 0 GENERALS 590         BANDIT PRINCE         318  NONE
HANNA KEENE 5187        2  6 1 MIDDLE WAY 11 546    ZIGGY 5194            317   
D.D. EISENHOWER 5196    3  2 0 SMITHSONIAN 245      JACKSON 5127          318   
IMA FILLA 5215          0  1 0 YOU PAY I SLAY 373   DARK CHAMPION         318  NONE
SEE YA 5216             0  1 0 YOU PAY I SLAY 373   MOUNTAIN TROLL        318  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Saliva -- Old Davey Crockett had a fort.  Ee ei ee ei oh!  And on this farm he had a
whiffle.  Ee ei ee ei oh!  With a whiffle whiffle here and a whiffle whiffle there...
-- Alamo

Confidence -- Don't worry; I'll get you at the war trials. -- War Bonds

Congratulationd to Duelmaster Confidence.  I cast ALL my votes for Confidence as Lord
Protector. -- Curator

You Pay I Slay -- Welcome.  Nice restart. -- Curator, Smithsonians

Consaguineous 7-1-1.
Z Gladiatorz 10-0-1.
     We cannot ALL be perfect. -- The Z Man
P.S.  Hopefully our table rocked in Tempe.

     Earthquake?  I must make a note of that.

Indior Landis -- I came out of that with a fine win and some nice skills, and you
almost came out of there with.... Zilch

Hanna Keene, Middle Wayers, Jorja -- I really am sorry.  That was not my intent.  May
your recruit be a godling and may Hanna fight well in the beyond. -- Ziggy

S.W.J. -- I guess we could say I peaked and you didn't. -- Zephyr

Okay, I offer my congrats to yet another cocky Consag.  Kudos to Duelmaster
Confidence. -- The Z Man

Zilch -- Seems like that's your approach to teaching skills, huh?  Bummer. -- Indior

Korn -- I had worked out a whole extended metaphor based on your name and your team
name, but Jorja said it was too involved.  A bold challenge.  Are you a person who
would appreciate advice, such as "Drop the offhand shield"? -- Norm Quesha

Ima Slayer -- And up-front about it, too. -- Kerbin Notts

Ziggy -- Thanks loads.  I wanted to retire, but not this way. -- Ghost of Hanna Keene

Slip Knot -- Heck.  At least I got a skill out of it, which I couldn't have done if
I'd died. -- Kotter Nahl

D.D. Eisenhower -- Better in the future than in the arena.  I don't see how you
pulled off that "amphibious landing" here last time. -- Norm Quesha

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

S.W.J. was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
IMA FILLA was dispatched by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
HO-BO-BEATDOWN was savagely slain by HIGH ELF in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
SEE YA was butchered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
ZITHER luckily beat DEAD LEE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge competition.
KUBLA KHAN defeated MOTOR HEAD in a 2 minute Challenge struggle.
TZU was savagely defeated by KOTTER NAHL in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge brawl.
ZILCH was handily defeated by BLACK LAB in a 2 minute uneven melee.
WAR BOND vanquished M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided Title duel.
IMA SLAYER was vanquished by INDIOR LANDIS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
KERBIN NOTTS was overpowered by WOLFHOUND in a 1 minute uneven match.
JACKSON killed D.D. EISENHOWER in a 1 minute fight.
NORM QUESHA subdued SLIP KNOT in a 1 minute match.
SALIVA devastated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
KORN subdued ZEPHYR in a 2 minute bloody match.
BAT OF LASHES was beaten by ZORK in a 1 minute amateur's conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         WALL OF STEEL      9 -   5 -  0      64  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         TOTAL PARRY       21 -  13 -  0      62  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         LUNGING ATTACK    14 -  10 -  0      58  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW         7 -   6 -  1      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -   9 -  2      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  20 -  2      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK    34 -  34 -  2      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  13 -  1      43  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   8 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   3 -  1      25  |

Turn 318 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     4 -  5         3  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    WAR BOND 5066              17  14  0  104 SMITHSONIAN (245)
TOTAL PARRY      BLACK LAB 4265             10   4  0   97 DOGPOUND (477)
SLASHING ATTACK  ZILCH 5081                 12   7  0   77 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
BASHING ATTACK   IMA SLAYER 2884            10   4  2   67 YOU PAY I SLAY (373)
STRIKING ATTACK  KUBLA KHAN 5126             6   2  0   37 GENERALS (590)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERBIN NOTTS 5040.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was DEAD LEE 3142.  The ten other most popular fighters were KOTTER NAHL 5197, 
KUBLA KHAN 5126, ZITHER 5153, ZILCH 5081, WOLFHOUND 4158, KORN 5160, ZEPHYR 5204, 

The least popular fighter this week was SLIP KNOT 5162.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were KERBIN NOTTS 5040, IMA SLAYER 2884, TZU 5210, BAT OF LASHES 5207, 
SALIVA 5163, JACKSON 5127, INDIOR LANDIS 5058, WAR BOND 5066, MOTOR HEAD 5205, and 
SEE YA 5216.