Date   : 12/18/2014    Duedate: 01/14/2015


DM-8    TURN-382

This Weeks Top Honors


(8-5387) [14-11-0,132]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE CHOSEN (613)               SERIOUS LEE (486)
(8-5387) [14-11-0,132]         (8-4062) [6-2-0,46]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KOTTER NAHL                    KOTTER NAHL
MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)            MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
(8-5197) [14-57-0,99]          (8-5197) [14-57-0,99]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BORN LOSERS (634)           55
2. SMITHSONIAN (245)           36      Z GLADIATORZ (519)
3. SERIOUS LEE (486)           31      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS SHOWER (604)      27
5. BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)      24      SERIOUS LEE (486)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 Z GLADIATORZ (519)       276 130  7 68.0   1/ 1 THE CHOSEN (613)         11  4 0
 2/ 2 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)       91  48  2 65.5   2/ 9 BORN LOSERS (634)         8  2 1
 3/ 3 SMITHSONIAN (245)        738 447 16 62.3   3/ 5 SMITHSONIAN (245)         7  2 0
 4/ 4 BORN LOSERS (634)        142  93 15 60.4   4/ 2 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)       7  8 0
 5/ 5 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)     33  26  4 55.9   5/ 6 Z GLADIATORZ (519)        6  4 0
 6/ 6 STEEL PROPHETS (615)      55  53  2 50.9   6/ 3 STEEL PROPHETS (615)      6  8 1
 7/ 7 THE CHOSEN (613)         210 215 13 49.4   7/ 8 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)    6  8 0
 8- 8*GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)      22  23  0 48.9   8/ 7*SERIOUS LEE (486)         5  7 0
 9/ 9*SERIOUS LEE (486)         16  19  0 45.7   9- 4*GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)      4  6 0
10/10 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)    21  25  0 45.7  10/12 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)       4  8 0
11/11 ROUGH RIDERS (587)        12  19  4 38.7  11/10 ROUGH RIDERS (587)        3  4 1
12/12 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)      227 396  6 36.4  12/14 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)     2  3 1
13/13*BASH BROS SHOWER (604)     4  13  1 23.5  13/11*BASH BROS SHOWER (604)    2 10 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     A hazy sun shone down on a snow covered graveyard.  Black crows that seemed
impervious to the cold winter air sat on bare branches of trees that had long since
surrendered their leaves.  The black birds sat watching the spectacle below the same
way that one would watch a play.  They were silent and engrossed in the ritual that
was being displayed before them.  Occasionally one would shift on a branch or squawk
as if commenting on something.  But the others would look at it and silence it with a
stare and continue to watch.
     In the casket lay a body, it was once called Beckah Necksnag.  She was part of a
stable of orcs called the Bloody Hand Clan.   Beckah died defending the honor for a
death that none of them should be fighting in the first place: a blood feud.  It was
a chance to defend the death of one of their slain members.  Instead she had become
another casualty.  It all happened so quickly.  A moment to reassess her attack.  A
heart beat to rest her tired arms was all it took for the match to go from her favor
to that of her opponent.  The apothecary said she didn't feel a thing.  But that
didn't matter a damn to her clan.
     Eadskar Da Bad was silent through all of the rituals for the funeral.  His face
was like a thing carved of stone as he looked at the sealed wooden box that contained
the body of his slain lover.  Just off to the side stood seven of his strongest
slaves.  They shivered despite being draped in thick furs and wearing thick fur
boots.  There was a team of grave diggers preparing to do the job of digging Beckah's
grave.  But they were soon heading to their next job after Eadskar promised broken
heads to anyone who touched so much as a grain of dirt of Beckah's grave.   The crew
was about to protest.  They got paid per-grave that they dug and this was taking
money from their purses.  Then they noticed the size of the other orcs, and the
Shewish giant, with Eadskar.   Never mind the thick arms of Eadskar.  The other orcs
looked as if they had snapped more than a couple of necks in their time.  Even the
fat one had an unspoken malicious intent about him.
     The big brute would never say it out loud, but Beckah was his world.  He had
loved her the moment he set eyes on her.  Love.  It was an odd feeling for Eadskar.
He always kept that emotion close to the chest.  He knew if he showed he cared, his
enemies would take it as weakness and use it against him.  So he kept up the air of
being indifferent to the affection shown to him by Beckah.  Now he wished that he had
the chance to tell her that he really cared for her.  If only he had a chance to
spend a little time with her before she died.  He would have told her.  But he was
sure she would always be around.  She was the best warrior in their stable.  He would
never have said that to anyone else, but he knew she had the ability to go far.
There were so many things left unsaid.  This time would be different.
"Ima only seyin dis once, boyz.  None uv yas git ta terch Sta uv Destny.  NONE YAS!
Dat basterd iz mine."
     They all nodded in agreement.  But that was deceptive because they were not all
in agreement.  Not by far.  Gutsag Bakwort saw the look in Eadskar's eyes.  The fire
was gone.  Eadskar would blood feud.  There was no doubt about that.  But he was not
going to win.  It wasn't because of lack of skill.  He was going out there to let
Star of Destiny kill him.  It was against clan rules to commit suicide.  It was too
shameful.  But to die in combat was another thing.  If someone committed suicide in
combat, who would know?
     Eadskar turned and headed back to the stable house with the others in tow.  The
slaves knew better to walk amongst the other orcs and so they waited for them to be a
respectable distance away before walking back.  Gutsag touched Stonewall, the Shewish
giant, on the arm to stop him from following the others.
     "Lissen.  Ima need yas ta 'elp me wif sumtin.  But keep ya lipz buttoned or Ima
smash'em fer ya, right?"
     Stonewall nodded and the two joined the procession back to the stable house.
     The day came for the blood feud and Eadskar was in the dressing room preparing
for the bout.  He was adjusting the last buckle of his armour when Gutsag walked into
the room with a goblet in each of his massive hands.
     "Boss.  A drink to ya victry ova Sta uv Destny."
     "Bit early don'cha  tink?" Eadskar said as he turned to face his stable mate.
     "No way, boss! Ya got dis.  'Ere.  Drink dis."  Gutsag shoved the goblet in his
left hand forward.  Eadskar looked down at the dark liquid presented to him.  He then
reached for the goblet in the right hand and snatched it away.  A bit of the wine
splashed on the floor.  Eadskar then presented the goblet for a toast.  Gutsag stood
there looking confused.
     "Drink." Eadskar said.  It was all that needed to be said.  One word full of
malice.  Gutsag looked his leader dead in the eye.  He knew if he didn't drink,
things would become much worse.
     Gutsag touched Eadskar's goblet with his.  The bronze goblets clinked and Gutsag
downed his wine in one gulp.  Eadskar made sure the obese orc finished every drop in
his goblet.  Then, and only then, did he drink his own.
     "Dat wuz a good 'tempt dere, Gutsy.  But ya not smart enuff ta pull dat trick on
me.  I don't kno wat yas up ta.  But we will settle up afta dis match."
     Eadskar then picked up his helm and slammed it on his head.  At that same
moment, Eadskar's eyes rolled back into his head and he pitched forward.  Fortunately
he had his helmet on because his face crashed into the bench he sat on to get
dressed.  He was unconscious.
     "Stoney!  Where are ya?!?" Gutsag called out.
     The Shewish giant stood up from behind a row of lockers.  He was too tall to
simply stand behind them, so Gutsag had instructed him to kneel back there until the
time was right.  Gutsag was worried that Stonewall would get bored back there and
fall asleep.  If that was the case, a snoring Stonewall would have blown the entire
     "I told ya ta ketch 'em when he fell!" Gutsag had one of Eadskar's massive arms
in his hand.  He was trying to lift him on his own.
     "Sorry, Gutsag.  It was hard to get up that fast.", Stonewall said.
     "Neva mind.  Git da boss up.  Sit'em like one a dos dolls at da toy shop.  Be
quick 'bout it."
     The two made quick work of sitting their leader up.  Gutsag was worried that the
drug used might induce vomiting.  He didn't want Eadskar to die that way either.  But
then again, Gutsag was in for a world of hurt if he survived this plan.  While
Stonewall sat on the bench, Gutsag changed into his armor that was stowed a few rows
back in the changing room.  Gutsag looked every bit of nervous as he walked towards
the door to take Eadskar's place in the blood feud.  Before he opened the door, he
turned to Stonewall.
     "Stoney, I wancha outtta 'ere fore he comes to.  Iz bad enough wat will happen
ta me.  But I don wan ya ta catch a beatin 'cause of ma shenanigans.  An if Eadskar
ask ya.  I want ya ta lie.  Ya 'ear me?  Lie like ya life depends on it.  Cause it
doz.  Ya knew nutin' bought it.  It wuz all me.  Got it?"
     Stonewall nodded but kept quiet.  In his small mind, this might be the last time
he saw Gutsag.  So many of his friends had died.  He didn't like that part.  The
fighting part was fun.  But this?  This was not so much fun.  Beckah would never buy
him cake again.  Glassjaw would never tell him jokes gain.  Now Gutsag might die too.
This gladiator business was no fun at all.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Praise be to Mantor!  My second turn here as duel mistress and I must admit it
was a hard fought win.  Dingo McGee, you are a worthy adversary.  My head is still
ringing from that shot to the head.  You have improved greatly since our last match.
I have to admit that I felt I controlled that fight better.  This last encounter
showed that you had a lot of aggression stored up.  Perhaps you want the title badly.
And you'll get it one day.  Just not from me.
     Curator: thanks for the kind words.  I appreciate that coming from a manager of
your caliber.  Now, if only I can get my invite.  Perhaps this turn?
     So... challenges... I look at the rank of warriors and I see Zest chomping at
the bit.  Uhmmmm....  No.  Not just yet.  Perhaps I will challenge on another date.
This turn challenge goes to Blue Flak and Kotter Nahl.  I am not doing this because I
feel they are easy wins.  I feel the exact opposite.  You'd think I would have had my
fill of bashers after tangling with that maniac Cyclotubulous, but they are the next
in line AFTER Zest.  So, this turn's fight will be either me against a grizzled
veteran or fresh blood.  This should be interesting.  Until next time, Arkers.
     May Mantor the Bright guide my blade,
                Ria the Caresser, Duel Mistress

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  For every 
winner there is a loser.  Speaking of losers, lets take a look at GHOSTWALKERS 2, who 
went down to 4th from 9th.  Life is tough.  Coming up with a solid 4-1-0 outing, BORN 
LOSERS has advanced 7 places in the rankings.  Advancing in the rankings was 
SMITHSONIAN who went from last turn's 734-447-16, to this week's record of 
738-447-16.  Hey everybody, watch out for DESTROYER TADD, who flew up 26 points in 
the rankings after mashing CYCLONIZER like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  THE ANXIOUS MAN was 
defeated by WAIL THE RAGER and drops 12 points.  Unlike most arenas, RIA THE CARESSER 
managed to get hers challenge off against the 13-8-0 BLUE FLAK.  Our battling 
duelmaster RIA THE CARESSER has managed to hold the title, fending off BLUE FLAK's 
none too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, STEEL PROPHETS.  4 out of 5 
gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Did you hear that WEIRD ALCHEMY was most 
avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal hygiene of WEIRD ALCHEMY's 
warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch STEEL PROPHETS' 
act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from WEIRD 
ALCHEMY.  And who is this KOTTER NAHL you ask, with 99 points and a 14-57-0 record.  
Ooh, the tales I could tell!  In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, CUTTER 
CRITES went after IMERTA LOEL, who was higher by 25 points.  Well, when the dust 
have a good reason for challenging down 14 points in a challenge which he lost.  I 
thought THE GYPSY showed great skill and promise when he was beat by HUMBLE LEE.  All 
right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  This round goes to HOYT FOUNDATION, their 
9-1-1 warrior, DESTROYER TADD slew the 8-5-0 CYCLONIZER.  Stay tuned next week to see 
what happens.  Congrats to GUTSAG BAKWORT for revenging the death of his teammate 
(but more importantly, feeding STARR OF DESTINY a bit of dirt).  In the 'Oops, What 
Have I Done?' category, STARR OF DESTINY was mashed by GUTSAG BAKWORT, who let STARR 
OF DESTINY know that killing members of BLOODY HAND CLAN is a no-no.  Congrats to 
DEFENSIVE LEE for revenging the death of his teammate (but more importantly, feeding 
DEMON TALON a bit of dirt).  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both 
yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in ARKERS have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Its been 
fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide 
Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RIA THE CARESSER 5387        14  11  0   132       THE CHOSEN (613)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HYPPOMATOS 3974              19   8  1   111       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
 LUCKY STRIKES 5426            9   1  0   111       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218           28   7  0   107       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 LELAND OLVEN 5262            22  26  2   104       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 MAYFLOWER 5235               20   9  0   102       SMITHSONIAN (245)
-ZEST 5224                    25   9  1   101       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 KOTTER NAHL 5197             14  57  0    99       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 BLUE FLAK 5385               13   9  0    99       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 IMERTA LOEL 5225             16  47  0    95       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 DESTROYER TADD 5597           9   1  1    93       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DINGO MCGEE 5384             13   9  1    89       STEEL PROPHETS (615)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAIN MAGNET 5382             14   8  0    88       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 ENEMY MAKER 4015             15   9  1    78       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
 CUTTER CRITES 5555            6   3  0    68       BORN LOSERS (634)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JELLYBOMBER 5458             10   3  0    65       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ZOO 5236                     13  11  0    54       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 DAN QUEVOS 5544               3   1  0    52       BORN LOSERS (634)
 THE SHRIEKER 5554             3   3  1    50       BORN LOSERS (634)
 DEFENSIVE LEE 4062            6   2  0    46       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 PUNK CHILSNER 5549            4   0  1    46       BORN LOSERS (634)
 WAIL THE RAGER 5525           5   0  0    42       THE CHOSEN (613)
 DEMON TALON 5456              7   6  1    39       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
-DOOM 5485                     5   4  0    36       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466           3   7  0    34       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ZINC 5266                     9   6  0    33       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500           6   1  0    33       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 STARR OF DESTINY 5088         6   4  3    30       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
-GRIMM 5482                    6   3  0    30       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527         4   1  1    30       THE CHOSEN (613)
 PARIS TROUT 5591              5   2  0    29       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 KYRON FLEMING 5545            4   0  1    29       BORN LOSERS (634)
 KIZERVEXIOUS 5596             5   5  0    28       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 ZIRCONIUM 5493                5   1  0    27       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 OUT OF SOAP 5282              3   1  0    27       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
 POTTER SANDS 5448             5  10  0    26       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
-REAPER 5483                   6   3  0    25       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 ETON THE STALWART 5496        6   2  0    25       THE CHOSEN (613)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HUMBLE LEE 4061               2   4  0    23       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 THE ANXIOUS MAN 5589          4   2  1    20       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 STONEWALL 5494                5   4  0    19       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 AVARICIOUS LEE 4080           3   4  0    19       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 HALIN STORMBREAKER 5498       3   4  1    18       THE CHOSEN (613)
-OLD IRONSIDES 5523            3   2  0    17       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 ROCA THE BLAZE 5086           3   6  1    16       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
-MAILICE 5529                  1   3  0    15       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 THE GYPSY 5587                2   1  1    14       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 ZIP IT 5537                   1   0  0    13       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 TOGA THE RAGER 5087           2   2  0    10       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 DON'T TREAD ON ME 5536        1   0  0    10       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 EBARK THE ROUGH 5089          1   4  0     7       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 MOSHROTTEEF 5540              0   2  0     6       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 AUDACIOUS LEE 5542            1   1  0     4       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 MANDIBULEX 5580               0   2  0     3       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
 GHREMSH THE JUST 5090         0   3  0     3       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH 5610      0   1  0     1       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 DRAMATIC LEE 5609             0   1  0     1       SERIOUS LEE (486)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BROKEN 5607             0  1 0 BASH BROS SHOWER 604 STONE GOLEM           382  NONE
DIRTY WATER 5579        0  1 0 BASH BROS SHOWER 604 HIGH ELF              382  NONE

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CASUAL LEE 5524         3  1 0 SERIOUS LEE 486      DEMON TALON 5456      380  JUST REVENGED
CYCLONIZER 5459         8  5 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 476    DESTROYER TADD 5597   382   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Zippety Doo Dah, zippety yay!  Thumped two; got thumped by two.  Christmasz in
November. -- The Z Man (actually thinking what pansies he has on his team)

Kotter Nahl -- Now zat was a zest-filled moment. (wink) -- Zest

     You know, "zat" is a word, if I remember correctly.  It refers to the luster on

Yrahbane -- With a name like zat you vill go far.  Indeed, I hope you go far... away.
-- Zinc

Mandibulex -- It iz always a pleazure to beat one of the drug-dealer clan.  I feel an
upper coming on. -- Zircinium

Cutter Crites -- I don't know where you came from, but you are the real deal!  Kudoz.
-- Zoo

Never met a Z I didn't like. -- Mr. Zee

Wow!  A great spot.  A fine DM Column.  No wonder Arkers is the place to be. --
Curator, Smithsonian

Enemy Maker -- You looked like a scared alchemist without a lifeboat.  But I didn't
sink, did I.  And you paid the price.  Such fun. -- Mayflower

Defensive Lee -- Great challenge and fine execution.  You showed me, you dirty,
rotten no-account winner! -- Old Ironsides (In the shop for repairs.)

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
from The Smithsonians. -- Curator

Ponces?  Ponces of Aruak City?  The Chosen cannonfodder, please bring your so-called
team and that sissy manager, Longshot, to Aruak City and see how low you can go.
Please. -- Kennelworth, Proprietor Bulldog Inn and Manager, Bulldogs, Aruak City

Old Ironsides -- Yep, that's what I thought.  You've got a lot of quit in ya. --
Defensive Lee

Out of Soap -- You stink. -- Humble Lee

Demon Talon -- Nice job beating Avaricious Lee.  I never thought you'd dodge AND
steal the initiative.  Plan: Defensive Lee. -- Bruce Lee, Mgr Serious Lee (a wholly
owned subsidiary of Trump Gladiatorial Enterprises)

Moshrotteef -- Thank you for the kind welcome to Arkers.  Orcish hospitality... Who
knew? -- Audacious Lee

Eadskar -- Great spotlights.  Very entertaining.  Respect. -- Bruce

Z Man -- Zingers?  Are you talking about those strawberry twinkies with the coconut
sprinkles?  Man!  I loved those when I was a kid.  :) -- Longshot

Zinc -- I did not expect to win that one.  It was an excellent fight, though. --Yrah

Dan Quevos -- That was a tough break.  Perhaps next time?  You know, after you learn
which end of your weapon to attack with. -- Eton

Toilet Flush -- Sorry about that, but I needed a challenge.  No hard feelings, eh? --

Out of Soap -- No.  My intentions were purely for martial skills. -- Yrah Banewrecker

Kyron Fleming -- If only you knew, my friend.  If only you knew. -- Halin

Defensive Lee -- Wait... wait... ya mean yoos culling up in da feet all positon
cryin' 'Make'em stop hittin' me!  Make'em stop hittin' me!' is a new stratigy? --
Eadskar Da'Bad

Star of Destiny -- Now ya gotz uz mad. -- the Bloody Hand Clan

Toilet Flush -- It's day seven,right.  Den I shower.  Wat iz wrong wit ya?  Don yoos
shower on da seven day? -- Gutsag Bakwort

Audacious Lee -- Why yoos hittin' dat low fer?  Wat if I wanna 'ave kidz?  Jerk! --

Six dead in duels today!  Head for the hills!

Zest -- Too much acid.  Gave me indigestion. -- Imerta Loel

Longshot -- (turning green)  Maybe not. -- Imerta Loel

We salute the tourney participants, with a special nod for Rebecca Raven, tourney
victor, and a rousing cheer for K. Carson, tourney Champion. -- Jorja and those who
walk the Middle Way

One-three again.  Drat. -- Kotter Nahl, for the Middle Way

Humble Lee -- I see you get it!  You shower and wash every day so as to maintain a
low profile.  I am a nemesis to your abilities. -- Out of Soap

I will not forsake the true God to worship the RUGs!  I will simply keep the endless
stream of unsuitable replacements going to the Dark Arena turn after turn if need be.
-- Assur

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TOILET FLUSH FUN was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
DIRTY WATER was dealt death by HIGH ELF in a 3 minute Dark Arena duel.
DOWN THE DRAIN was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 3 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
BROKEN was slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
DEFENSIVE LEE bested DEMON TALON in a popular 3 minute Bloodfeud contest.
GUTSAG BAKWORT luckily beat STARR OF DESTINY in a 9 minute bloody Bloodfeud match.
DAN QUEVOS devastated YRAH BANEWRECKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
RIA THE CARESSER beat BLUE FLAK in a popular 2 minute master's Challenge Title brawl.
MAYFLOWER unbelievably bested KOTTER NAHL in a 4 minute expert's Challenge melee.
LUCKY STRIKES overpowered PAIN MAGNET in a 2 minute uneven Challenge duel.
HYPPOMATOS overpowered DINGO MCGEE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CUTTER CRITES was beaten by IMERTA LOEL in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
THE SHRIEKER demolished ETON THE STALWART in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
JELLYBOMBER devastated ZOO in a crowd pleasing 2 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
THE ANXIOUS MAN was handily defeated by WAIL THE RAGER in a 1 minute conflict.
ZIRCONIUM won victory over AVARICIOUS LEE in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
STONEWALL outwaited AUDACIOUS LEE in a dull 15 minute Challenge duel.
HALIN STORMBREAKER narrowly defeated MANDIBULEX in a 5 minute Challenge brawl.
THE GYPSY was defeated by HUMBLE LEE in a exciting 3 minute brutal Challenge bout.
PLYMOUTH ROCK savagely defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 11 minute gory match.
LELAND OLVEN handily defeated ENEMY MAKER in a 2 minute gory mismatched competition.
CYCLONIZER was assassinated by DESTROYER TADD in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
PUNK CHILSNER handily defeated KIZERVEXIOUS in a 1 minute uneven duel.
EADSKAR DA'BAD devastated ROCA THE BLAZE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PARIS TROUT overpowered GHREMSH THE JUST in a 3 minute brutal uneven fight.
POTTER SANDS savagely defeated EBARK THE ROUGH in a 4 minute veteran vs. novice duel.
KYRON FLEMING overpowered ARDIVENTI NOBLE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
MOSHROTTEEF was beaten by TOGA THE RAGER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute novice's fray.
OUT OF SOAP vanquished DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ZIP IT overpowered STRAY CATMAN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
DON'T TREAD ON ME overpowered DRAMATIC LEE in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     13         AIMED BLOW        25 -  15 -  1      63  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  12         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  17 -  2      62  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         TOTAL PARRY       56 -  46 -  0      55  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  19 -  2      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    27 -  27 -  1      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  10 -  2      47  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  10 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    43 -  54 -  2      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         STRIKING ATTACK   21 -  31 -  1      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   7 -  0      22  |

Turn 382 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         3  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  2         3  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  6         2  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  6     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     6 -  6     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    RIA THE CARESSER 5387      14  11  0  132 THE CHOSEN (613)
LUNGING ATTACK   HYPPOMATOS 3974            19   8  1  111 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
SLASHING ATTACK  LUCKY STRIKES 5426          9   1  0  111 SMITHSONIAN (245)
TOTAL PARRY      PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218         28   7  0  107 SMITHSONIAN (245)
BASHING ATTACK   BLUE FLAK 5385             13   9  0   99 STEEL PROPHETS (615)
STRIKING ATTACK  ENEMY MAKER 4015           15   9  1   78 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KOTTER NAHL 5197.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was KOTTER NAHL 5197.  The ten other most popular fighters were DEMON TALON 

The least popular fighter this week was STONEWALL 5494.  The other ten least popular 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:



For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors 
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. 

                   CHARGING BUFFALO (11-5764) TRIBAL COUNCIL  (518) 
                        PHOTON (18-3292) MAD SCIENTISTS  (75) 
                     YOURBAGD FOREVER (47-6968) THE OPERA  (613) 
                    TERRY SEYMOUR (74-4284) MEDAL OF HONOR  (519) 
                             SHADIS (77-174) RESCUE  (48) 
                  VANNA WHITE (82-39213) SUAVE'S FINEST HOUR  (4264) 
                  BANALADAR (82-37977) SUPERIOR FORCES 5703  (6306) 
                    ANNIE DUKE (82-49334) HOUSE OF CARDS 3  (8302) 
                 SLICK BILLY (82-49457) POLITICALY INCORRECT  (8320) 
                    PRIVATE 28 (84-3780) MEDAL OF HONOR L2  (736) 
                    GIAN CHILD (84-8531) SUPE FORCES 1906  (1564) 
                    LEBRON LEAVING (84-15536) WHY I WORRY  (2744) 
                  FOREST MOON (84-20784) STORMY'S TROOPERS C  (3699) 
                     GRIMLOUNGE (84-25308) THE BLACK WIND  (4494) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission.