Date   : 04/09/2015    Duedate: 05/06/2015


DM-8    TURN-386

This Weeks Top Honors


(8-5385) [16-9-0,134]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BLUE FLAK                      OUT OF SOAP
(8-5385) [16-9-0,134]          (8-5282) [5-2-0,60]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ENEMY MAKER                    REAPER
WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)            GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
(8-4015) [18-10-1,110]         (8-5483) [8-4-0,43]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BASH BROS SHOWER (604)      53
2. BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)      40      Z GLADIATORZ (519)
3. BROKEN SPIRITS (632)        35      Unchartered Team
4. STEEL PROPHETS (615)        27
5. SMITHSONIAN (245)           21      SERIAL KILLAZ (638)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 SUPERIOR FORCES (436)     11   4  0 73.3   1/ 2 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)     10  5 0
 2/ 2 Z GLADIATORZ (519)       281 135  8 67.5   2/ 3 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)       8  4 0
 3/ 3 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)      100  54  2 64.9   3/ 9 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)    7  2 1
 4/ 4 SMITHSONIAN (245)        745 451 16 62.3   4/13*BASH BROS SHOWER (604)    7  6 0
 5/ 7 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)      32  28  0 53.3   5/ 4 ROUGH RIDERS (587)        7  8 0
 6/ 8 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)     41  38  6 51.9   6/ 1 THE CHOSEN (613)          6  3 2
 7/ 9 THE CHOSEN (613)         219 219 16 50.0   7/ 5 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)     6  9 2
 8/10 STEEL PROPHETS (615)      61  63  2 49.2   8/10*THE TRAVELERS (639)       5 10 0
 9/11 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)    29  31  1 48.3   9/ 0 BROKEN SPIRITS (632)      4  1 0
10/12 ROUGH RIDERS (587)        21  27  5 43.8  10/ 8 SMITHSONIAN (245)         4  4 0
11/ 0 BROKEN SPIRITS (632)      34  51  2 40.0  11/12*SERIAL KILLAZ (638)       4  6 0
12-13 SERIOUS LEE (486)         18  27  0 40.0  12/ 7 Z GLADIATORZ (519)        3  4 0
13/ 6*SERIAL KILLAZ (638)        4   6  0 40.0  13/11 STEEL PROPHETS (615)      3  9 0
14/16*BASH BROS SHOWER (604)    11  19  1 36.7  14-15 SUPERIOR FORCES (436)     1  0 0
15/15 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)      227 407  6 35.8  15-14 SERIOUS LEE (486)         1  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
16/14*THE TRAVELERS (639)        5  10  0 33.3  16/16 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)       0  7 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     "It is with considerable difficulty that I remember the original era of my
being; all the events of that period appear confused and indistinct."  Ugly Face Told
this and much more to Dr. Frankenstein, the manager of the Serial Killaz.
     "Tell me more" implored the good doctor.
     "A strange multiplicity of sensations seized me, and I saw, felt, heard, and
smelt at the same time; and it was, indeed, a long time before I learned to
distinguish between the operations of my various sensed."
     "This is all very good," the Doctor mused as he listened to the reanimated
corpse speaking to him.  Now, he thought, all I need is to create four more like him
and my work shall be complete. 

                 Doctor Frankensten
                 Serial Killaz

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Gutsag sat outside of the Bloody Hand Clan's guild house.  The rotund orc was
perched on a wooden barrel.  How he managed to wiggle his bulk onto it is anyone's
guess.  But a betting man would think he received aid in the jug of wine in his hand.
It is amazing what strength can be found in a bottle of strong drink.
     Gutsag took a deep breath and exhaled.  The night air was nice and cool and he
wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.  Not like the coming heat of summer and with
it, the bugs.  Gutsag would never let his stable mates know.  But he always hated
bugs.  The biting.  The itching.  It drove him mad.  The fear wasn't that the others
would make fun of him for being so whiney.  The fear came from them perceiving his
dislike as a weakness.  He could imagine Ded ramping up the situation.  One mention
of bug bites would turn into a fear of bugs.  That would end it for him.  Showing
weakness was the biggest disadvantage in the clan.  He gave a bit of a shudder when
he imagined what Glassjaw would do.  His teasing was so relentless until it bordered
on torture.  And those damned puns!  You would have sworn that he wore a jester's cap
as opposed to a sword at his side.  But on the other hand, there were few that he
wanted at his side in a fight.  Gutsag really missed him.
     Gutsag took a huge gulp from the wine jug.  The strong liquid burned the back of
his throat as it gushed it way to his gullet.  Burning was good.  It helped fight
back the tears he felt welling up.
     Just then the front door opened and immediately closed with a slam.  Gutsag
twisted from his seat and saw it was Eadskar.  Gutsag immediately turned back and
faced away from his boss.  The two orcs had been on rocky terms ever since Gutsag
stole his glory and the chance to avenge his slain lover.  Eadskar reached the bottom
of the steps and took a deep breath.  It was obvious that he was surprised to find
Gutsag out here.  But pride dictated that he stay a bit.  Immediately running back
inside would have been a show of fear.
     "Evenin', Gutsy.  " The Brawny leader of the stable said.  He wouldn't look
directly at Gutsag.
     "Evenin', boss," Gutsag returned the greeting.  He wanted to push the
conversation, but Eadskar was known for his fits of violence.  So he sat and sipped
from his jug.  Eadskar turned to see what Gutsag was drinking.  That is when the fat
orc got a full view of his face.  Thanks to the alcohol, it was hard to fight back
the laughter.  He laughed because there, on Eadskar's forehead was a perfectly formed
bruise.  It was obviously the shape of a human's foot.  The foot in question belonged
to Reaper.  It was a parting gift from their match.  Yes, Eadskar won, but Reaper
seemed to have gotten the last laugh on the orc for breaking his weapon.  So, for the
last few days, Eadskar had to walk around with a foot shaped bruise on his forehead.
No one dared comment on it.
     "Wat ya laughing at, Gutsy?" Eadskar growled.
     This was a precarious situation to be in.  One wrong word or misunderstood
gesture would have the two stable mates rolling around in the street.  One would be
hard pressed to find a citizen of Arkers who was happy about the orcs living in their
city.  The orcs usually kept to themselves.  But every now and then a drunken brawl
would break out between them.  Even then, no one cared.  But one night Ded 'Ard and
the deceased Mosh had a disagreement that spilled out onto the street.  It would have
been fine on any other occassion.  The two would have pounded on each other until
they got tired, laughed it off, and returned to being the strongest of allies.  That
is until Nathan Nyk.
     Nathan was a baker, husband, and father to seven children; four sons and three
daughters.  On that fateful morning, Laurence was rushing to work.  The sun still
hadn't risen, but he had managed to over sleep.  One had to wake quite early to have
bread ready for the morning rush.  His co-workers would have already started work and
would gladly have covered for him until he arrived.  But he still felt guilt for
being late.  Nathan was running to work when Ded and Mosh crashed down the stairs and
onto the street.  Nathan was frozen with fear as the two brutes punched, kicked, and
cursed each other.  That is when Mosh saw the man standing there with his mouth
hanging open.  The two immediately forgot their grievance and moved towards the human
gawking at them.  After it was over, Nathan Nyk had suffered a broken collar bone and
jaw.  His body was covered with bruises and cuts.  Nathan also had to miss several
weeks of work.  There was an outcry amongst the citizens for justice.  Eadskar was
eventually pressured into paying Nathan damages.  To save face, he paid triple the
amount.  TRIPLE!  He even sent over two of his finest slaves to help with house
chores and the care of Nathan.  Despite Eadskar's show of goodwill the lousey human
still complained.  Eadskar couldn't believe the nerve.  Plus the militia started
hanging around the street where the guild house was located.  They were always eight
to ten members looking for a reason to crack a few orc heads.  Gutsag wished some of
them were patrolling now.
     "I sed wats so funny?"  Eadskar was aware of the bruise.  He just wanted an
excuse to beat on Gutsag again.
     Gutsag's wine soaked mind began thinking of strategies.  There was a fight
brewing.  No doubt about that.  Gutsag quickly thought to smash the wine jug in his
hand over the head of Eadskar.  The rest would be a series of punching and kicking.
Perhaps he would use his bulk to pin Eadskar down.  Or it could delay a beating and
make Eadskar angrier.  Thus making the beating more severe.
     "Paaardohn myself, sirs.  Is this the mansiohn of the..."  The person speaking
takes out a piece of neatly folded paper.  "Right...Bloohdy Hand Clan?  It loohks
fancy it.  Heavens above! How smashing!"
     Gutsag looked at the jug of wine once again and back at the person talking.
Standing before them was an orc.  There was no doubt about that.  On his head was a
wide brimmed black hat with a long fancy yellow feather springing from the right side
of the brim.  His shirt, which klooked more like a blouse, was blue with white
ruffled ends.  His pants were black like his hat and boots.  He wore a haversack
slung over his right shoulder and a rapier on his left hip.
     Eadskar, his anger forgotten, could only stare at the oddity.
     "Wat in da hellz are ya?"
     "Paaardohn myself, sir.  You, one's old bean, seem ah little bemused.  One's
fraternal cousin sent myself ah note saying that there was an opening in your
illustrious stable."
     "Fratz da wat?" Eadskar couldn't understand a word he was saying.
     "Ded!  'Ere!  Naow!" Gutsag bellowed.  Ded 'Ard could beat this idiot senseless
and send him on his way.
     There was a thumping of heavy footsteps.  The front door opened and out stomped
Dead 'Ard Skullkrush.
     "Cousin!" the flamboyant orc called out with a wave.
     "Right, Marqy.  I needz ta talk ta da boss.  Git ya stuff an meet me inside."
Ded 'Ard said as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder.
     "Sorry for one's rahthah unfortunate troffle; but that would be spiffing.  Don't
you know?" and the flamboyant orc ran up the steps and into the guild house.
     Before he went in, the orc turned and said, "I'll see you, one's old bean,
inside.  Right oh!"  He quietly shut the door.  Ded turned back to his two stable
     "I know wat ya bout ta say, Eadskar.  But we needz a new memba an' 'e was free."
     "Haow did ya know?  I cant unda stand 'em." Eadskar said.
     "Yah! 'E talkz funny.  But 'e iz gud wit da blade.  I vouche fer 'im."
     Eadskar looked at the guldhouse.  From inside he heard, "Well I say--butchah at
you.  Aaare you, one's old bean, ah membah of the team toohh?  Why aaare you
weaaaring an irohn collaaar?  Is that your aaarmor.  Spiffin'.  Don't you know?"
     "He betta be legit." Eadskar warned.
     "'E is boss.  'E iz."
     Gutsag slammed the cork back into the wine jog and crawled off he barrel.  He
had seen enough strangeness for one night.  He wanted his bed.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Wow!  Duelmaster of Arkers!  On one hand, it's an honor to be the champ of an
arena with so many great warriors and managers.  On the other hand, it's Arkers!
Port-a-Fortress was right, this place is a dump!  Arkers, it's Andorian for
     Lucky Strikes, you're a bad dude, no loss of respect here.  I just had a better
day, that's all.
     As for my next fight, Enemy Maker, looks like it's you.

Good luck to all not fighting me or my teammates!
Blue Flak

                                      SPY REPORT

     You elder fighters surely remember me.  The younger ones may call me Olaf 
Modeen.  I return to ARKERS once again!  Biff!  Pow!  ARKERS watched with glee as THE 
CHOSEN got knocked off top spot by GHOSTWALKERS 2!  Phhbltt!  Too much drinking and 
too little dodging gave THE CHOSEN a 2-3-2!  I got a good laugh out of it!  Ya gotta 
be quick on yer feet!  Keep your elbow off the table!  Thrust!  Block out the pain!  
BASH BROS SHOWER is now ranked 4th with a 4-0-0 turn.  BLOODY HAND CLAN showed ARKERS 
what they were made of as they fought with a vengeance to walk off with 4-1-1.  
What's with OUT OF SOAP?  He actually beat WEIRD ALCHEMY's JELLYBOMBER, and walked 
away with 26 more points from the fight.  Laughs were big at BASH BROS SHOWER while 
they watched OUT OF SOAP clobber JELLYBOMBER.  He lost 16 points and got bruised from 
objects thrown from the stands.  Apparently ARKERS isn't filled with as many gutless 
wonders as I thought.  The Dreaded Duelmaster got 6 challenges this turn!  
SMITHSONIAN's hatred of STEEL PROPHETS surfaced again as MAYFLOWER challenged ARKERS' 
top dog.  Try as it might, MAYFLOWER wasn't good enough at persuading BLUE FLAK to 
step down from the Duelmaster's throne...  I suppose you want to hear some rumors and 
dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  Tough!   
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  ARKERS thinks HOYT 
FOUNDATION and their 41-38-6 is too much!  If at first you don't succeed, give up...  
In my day, no team with a 39-35-6 would scare me off!  What's the problem, 
GHOSTWALKERS 2?  EADSKAR DA'BAD of BLOODY HAND CLAN knows how to pick 'em.  He 
challenged DOOM of GHOSTWALKERS 2 who is up by 22.  Now was this a wise move?  
EADSKAR DA'BAD perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he dealt death to  DOOM and 
ended up with 66 recognition points.   
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  Some fighters 
don't accept this.  The best do.  ROCA THE BLAZE looked pretty sick and surprised 
when he learned ROUGH RIDERS is sending him to the Dark Arena!  Whadd'he expect with 
a 4-8-2?  ZINC of Z GLADIATORZ didn't know when to quit.  When you've got a 10-8-1, 
that's a good sign.  Now it's dead.  DOOM, with his forgettable 7-5-0,  was put to 
death by EADSKAR DA'BAD in a forgettable match.  GHOSTWALKERS 2 didn't seem to mind 
very much.  Someone told ZINC that THE CHOSEN never Bloodfeuded, that it'd have an 
easy kill.  Well, I'm sure whoever misled you is right sorry.  Many a warrior has met 
his fate in a hungover stupor.  You young rapscallions, take note!   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  Are you 
as tired of reading this as I am of writing it?  Actually, I guess I'm writing it 
before you read it.  Oh, well.  Remember--a good fighter needs both good skills and 
good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLUE FLAK 5385               16   9  0   134       STEEL PROPHETS (615)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218           29   7  0   112       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 LUCKY STRIKES 5426           10   2  0   111       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 ENEMY MAKER 4015             18  10  1   110       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
-ZEST 5224                    26   9  1   106       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 MAYFLOWER 5235               21  10  0    97       SMITHSONIAN (245)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DESTROYER TADD 5597          11   3  2    88       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 DINGO MCGEE 5384             14  12  1    78       STEEL PROPHETS (615)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LUCIFEROUS HOPE 5522          8   9  0    66       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527         7   1  3    66       THE CHOSEN (613)
 EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466           5   8  1    66       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 DEMON TALON 5456              9   8  1    61       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 OUT OF SOAP 5282              5   2  0    60       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
-ZOO 5236                     14  13  0    59       Z GLADIATORZ (519)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DEFENSIVE LEE 4062            8   2  0    54       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 THE GYPSY 5587                5   2  2    44       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 REAPER 5483                   8   4  0    43       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 JELLYBOMBER 5458             12   5  0    41       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
 GRIMM 5482                    8   4  0    41       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 STARR OF DESTINY 5088         9   5  3    38       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 OLD IRONSIDES 5523            6   3  0    38       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 PARIS TROUT 5591              7   4  0    37       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ZIRCONIUM 5493                6   1  0    33       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 TOGA THE RAGER 5087           5   2  0    32       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 POTTER SANDS 5448             5  14  0    29       MIDDLE WAY 11 (546)
 EGRIM 5510                    2   4  1    28       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 ETON THE STALWART 5496        8   3  0    27       THE CHOSEN (613)
 GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500           7   3  0    25       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 GUNTHER 5507                  3   0  0    25       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 STONEWALL 5494                6   6  0    24       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 HALIN STORMBREAKER 5498       5   4  1    24       THE CHOSEN (613)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARIXIA 5512                   4   3  0    23       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 THE ANXIOUS MAN 5589          5   5  1    21       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH 5610      3   1  0    20       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 LORD SHADOW 5627              2   1  0    20       THE TRAVELERS (639)
 MALICE 5529                   3   4  0    19       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 SLOW DRAIN 5618               2   1  0    19       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
 SEHWYN STEEL 5633             1   0  1    18       THE CHOSEN (613)
 LICHIPS 5645                  1   0  0    17       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
-HUMBLE LEE 4061               2   6  0    16       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 STANDING WATER 5617           2   1  0    16       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
 DRULINDA 5621                 2   1  0    16       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 DESTINY 5648                  1   0  0    15       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 VERTIGO 5631                  1   2  0    13       THE TRAVELERS (639)
 MONOXIDE CHILD 5624           2   0  0    12       SERIAL KILLAZ (638)
 MALLAFAX 5508                 1   2  0     9       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAQURO DOOMAXE 5634           1   0  0     9       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 ZIP IT 5537                   2   1  0     7       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 COLD 5640                     1   0  0     7       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
-AUDACIOUS LEE 5542            1   3  0     6       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 AMAZON QUEEN 5629             1   2  0     5       THE TRAVELERS (639)
 VIPER 5630                    1   2  0     5       THE TRAVELERS (639)
 PIMPOLOCO 5642                1   1  0     4       WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
 MYAMOTO MUSHASHI 5625         1   1  0     4       SERIAL KILLAZ (638)
 HELGA LOARWEN 5632            1   1  0     4       THE CHOSEN (613)
 SUNN OF DESTINY 5639          1   1  0     4       ROUGH RIDERS (587)
 ATHENA 5628                   0   3  0     3       THE TRAVELERS (639)
 UGLY FACE 5626                0   2  0     3       SERIAL KILLAZ (638)
-DRAMATIC LEE 5609             0   3  0     3       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 JHERI BLOOMERS 5643           0   2  0     2       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 DRAGONFLY 5636                0   2  0     2       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 SHAGGY 2 DOPE 5622            0   2  0     2       SERIAL KILLAZ (638)
 CALEB THE GRINDER 5637        0   2  0     2       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
-AGGRESSIVE LEE 5635           0   1  0     1       SERIOUS LEE (486)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
MOSHROTTEEF 5540        0  3 0 BLOODY HAND CLAN 626 ROCA THE BLAZE 5086   383   
DOOM 5485               7  5 0 GHOSTWALKERS 2 629   EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466   386   
IMERTA LOEL 5225       16 50 0 MIDDLE WAY 11 546    DESTROYER TADD 5597   385   
EBARK THE ROUGH 5089    1  5 0 ROUGH RIDERS 587     THE GYPSY 5587        384   
ROCA THE BLAZE 5086     4  9 2 ROUGH RIDERS 587     DARK CHAMPION         386  NONE
VIOLENT J 5623          1  1 0 SERIAL KILLAZ 638    SEHWYN STEEL 5633     386   
PAIN MAGNET 5382       14  9 0 STEEL PROPHETS 615   CUTTER CRITES 5555    383   
WAIL THE RAGER 5525     5  1 0 THE CHOSEN 613       ZINC 5266             383  JUST REVENGED
CYCLONIZER 5459         8  5 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 476    DESTROYER TADD 5597   382  REVENGED
ZINC 5266              10  8 1 Z GLADIATORZ 519     YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527 386   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Z Gladiatorz/Zoo -- I really enjoyed watching that fight! -- Spectre, mgr Doom-Doom

Welcome to Vertigo and The Travelers.  Glad to have you here.  May your stay be long
and fruitful. -- Curator, Smithsonians

     Fruitful with cherries and plums.

Blue Flak -- Well, you convince me!  A salute to the Duelmaster. -- Lucky Strikes

Dramatic Lee -- I would rather not be old, but the iron sides are nice, and the win
was nicer. -- Old Ironsides

Well, well well.  Den.  Welcome to Arkers.  May you and your Hoyts stay be long and
fruitful. -- Curator


Health.  Humility.  Honor. -- Curator

Paris Trout -- Surely you didn't expect to outsprint Zirconium?  My jewel was just
too much for you. -- Mr. Z

Doom -- You will rue the day you breached my Zoo.  You will. -- Mr. Z

Blue Flak -- My boys are gunnin' for you. -- Mr. Z

Den?  That mouthy one from Niyland?  That AA agnostic?  Well, lah ti dah. -- Mr. Z

How come broke people they stay poor, richies get more and bolt and lock the doors.
How come everyone has panic attacks?  We need pills just to chill and relax.  How
come we always jumpin' off so quick?  Why is the air we breathe always making us
sick?  How come the news always trying to scare you, suicide bombers standin' near
you. -- Shaggy 2 Dope

Beware the Aruaki Werecat! -- Ugly Face's Manager

The first door is water, flow sure and deadly. -- Myamoto Musashi

Malice -- Lucky win, beware becausssee I will sssseek revengssse. -- Viper

Monoxide Child -- All of that Monoxide emenating from your pores must've caused me to
become light headed... oh well, I'll be back soon. -- Amazon Queen

Violent J -- Good hands, but what's with the clown make-up? -- Athena

Den -- Get lost already.  Go back asnd STAY IN NIATOLI!!

Audacious Lee -- Guess you weren't so Audacious after all.  *spits* -- Vertigo

Out of Soap -- Seriously.  Bathe!  I will buy the soap. -- Yrah Banewrecker

Fratsfa Mercenary -- You hit pretty hard for a standby. -- Eton

Humble Lee -- I have no idea whose strategy that was.  But it wasn't mine. -- HHalin

Shaggy 2 Dope -- What was that smell?  Maybe you should put those funny cigarettes
down and concentrate on your fighting. -- Helga Loarwen

Reaper -- Why ya kick me in da face?  Nex time, I kick yoos in da face. --  Eadskar

Stah uv Des'ny -- Yoos kant stay alive fer eva.  Yoos'll git wat ya deserves soon.
Jus watch. -- Gutsag Bakwort

Defensive Lee -- Funny ya menschin' ma ax breaking.  Da ahmara said sed it look like
sum one cut inta da handle.  Ya got sumtin ya want to tell me? -- Eadskar Da'Bad

Standing Water -- Uhhhhh... Fear me!  Yeah! -- Stonewall

Bruce Lee -- I had ta ask what a "diver city" was.  Eadskar sed it means a city unda
da water.  Why wud ya putta city unda da wahta?  Why do ya have a class on diver
city? -- Ded 'Ard

Caleb the Grinder -- Yoos can take a shot.  Way ta go tuff boy!  Hur hur! -- Ded 'Ard

Destroyer Tadd -- If you had to kill me, you picked the right day. -- the immortal
Imerta Loel

Oh, gods, Jorja's DONE it.  She's leaving me here alone! -- Potter Sands the Unhappy

Yrah Banewrecker -- Wrecked me good -- Out of Soap

Lee -- Your names are all too cute.  Your fighting needs some work. -- Slow Drain

Stonewall -- Over time, I can destroy you!  But it takes a long, long time for water
to overcome stone. -- Standing Water

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ROCA THE BLAZE was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
YRAH BANEWRECKER slaughtered ZINC in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven Bloodfeud battle.
LUCKY STRIKES vanquished DESTROYER TADD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
MAYFLOWER was defeated by BLUE FLAK in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge Title fight.
EADSKAR DA'BAD dispatched DOOM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge fight.
OLD IRONSIDES overpowered POTTER SANDS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
STONEWALL was viciously subdued by GRIMM in a action packed 12 minute Challenge melee.
THE GYPSY vanquished HALIN STORMBREAKER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
CALEB THE GRINDER was savagely defeated by MALICE in a 7 minute Challenge match.
DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH overpowered SUNN OF DESTINY in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
DRAGONFLY was subdued by MONOXIDE CHILD in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge competition.
HELGA LOARWEN was devastated by TOGA THE RAGER in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
ENEMY MAKER overpowered DINGO MCGEE in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
JELLYBOMBER was overpowered by OUT OF SOAP in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
LUCIFEROUS HOPE slimly lost to KHALHUMS DWARF in a action packed 3 minute brutal duel.
STARR OF DESTINY was devastated by DEMON TALON in a 1 minute gory mismatched brawl.
ETON THE STALWART was savagely defeated by REAPER in a exciting 4 minute brutal match.
THE ANXIOUS MAN was overpowered by EGRIM in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
PARIS TROUT devastated DRULINDA in a 3 minute one-sided contest.
ARIXIA savagely defeated VIPER in a 2 minute brutal duel.
GUTSAG BAKWORT luckily beat VERTIGO in a action packed 3 minute gruesome fray.
MALLAFAX viciously subdued AMAZON QUEEN in a 2 minute gory novice's bout.
GUNTHER savagely defeated UGLY FACE in a 2 minute gory novice's duel.
STANDING WATER vanquished PIMPOLOCO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SLOW DRAIN demolished ATHENA in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
SHAGGY 2 DOPE lost to MAQURO DOOMAXE in a 2 minute novice's fray.
VIOLENT J was easily killed by SEHWYN STEEL in a 1 minute gruesome mismatched bout.
MYAMOTO MUSHASHI was overpowered by LORD SHADOW in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ZIP IT lost to LICHIPS in a 3 minute fray.
JHERI BLOOMERS was defeated by COLD in a 2 minute novice's match.
DESTINY overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  12         AIMED BLOW        28 -  16 -  1      64  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  9         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -   9 -  2      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         TOTAL PARRY       52 -  41 -  0      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         WALL OF STEEL     25 -  22 -  3      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         LUNGING ATTACK    21 -  21 -  2      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         SLASHING ATTACK   30 -  33 -  5      48  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         BASHING ATTACK    45 -  62 -  4      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  31 -  1      34  |

Turn 386 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  5         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  4         3  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         4 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  4         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  5         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     6 -  6     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   BLUE FLAK 5385             16   9  0  134 STEEL PROPHETS (615)
SLASHING ATTACK  LUCKY STRIKES 5426         10   2  0  111 SMITHSONIAN (245)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  ENEMY MAKER 4015           18  10  1  110 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476)
TOTAL PARRY      MAYFLOWER 5235             21  10  0   97 SMITHSONIAN (245)
WALL OF STEEL    DESTROYER TADD 5597        11   3  2   88 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
AIMED BLOW       OUT OF SOAP 5282            5   2  0   60 BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
LUNGING ATTACK   THE GYPSY 5587              5   2  2   44 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GRIMM 5482                  8   4  0   41 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
PARRY-STRIKE     STARR OF DESTINY 5088       9   5  3   38 ROUGH RIDERS (587)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ENEMY MAKER 4015.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was REAPER 5483.  The ten other most popular fighters were VERTIGO 5631, GRIMM 
5385, ARIXIA 5512, GUNTHER 5507, and ZIP IT 5537.

The least popular fighter this week was STONEWALL 5494.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were CALEB THE GRINDER 5637, LICHIPS 5645, VIOLENT J 5623, ATHENA 5628, UGLY 
5496, and STARR OF DESTINY 5088.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


                                 JASPER GULCH:  DM 85

     Zeb Karan around the big table.  Arena staff of all ranks and titles sat and 
stared at each other:  arenamasters, standbys, Dark Arena warriors, stewards and 
infirmarians, even the maintenance crew.  This was not the first time they'd met like 
this, and it probably wouldn't be the last.
     "So this is it again, is it?" Lew Voth asked.  "Less than seven years since they 
closed Dwes Eg to new teams, and now they're closing Blackstone?"
     "Only to new teams," one of the spymasters pointed out.  "And it's necessary.  
There are several file rooms we haven't been able to enter in months because they're 
too full of team records."
     "Nothing you couldn't fix with a lighted match," Jame Rinvar suggested.  
Technically he should not have been there, since he'd taken over full time as the 
arenamaster of Shadowspire.  But no one wanted to tell him to leave.
     "We may NEED those records one of these days," Chief Steward Hesselrod protested.  
"We can't burn RECORDS."
     "I could," Rinvar said.
     "But you won't."  Voth pinned him with a stare.  "Don't stir up trouble for its 
own sake, Jame."
     Rinvar raised his hand in a gesture of surrender.  "I'll be good, Lew."
     "When are they shutting down Blackstone?"
     "To new teams only, remember--the old ones will keep fighting if their managers 
want to pay the fees.  This week.  Maybe next week.  Hard to be sure, when you travel 
from Alastari to anywhere else, there's a time distortion effect.  But probably this 
week.  Same operating rules as Dwes Eg (82):  no new teams in, but the old ones can 
recruit new members.  New teams will go to the new place--"  Zeb Karan cast a look of 
enquiry around the room.
     "Jasper Gulch," a steward said.
     "Right.  New teams will go to Jasper Gulch.  I'm not sure the day for it, probably 
'opposite' Blackstone in the schedule.  A regular two-week cycle.  Teams can be 
transfered in from regular arenas, I suppose, but not OUT."
     Voth nodded.  "We can work with this."
     "Beats not working."

                   SEAM (DM 20) REOPENS AS A NEW NO-TOURNEY ARENA!

Seam (DM 20) will be re-opening soon as a no-tourney DM arena!  If you enjoy arena 
play without tournament interference, this arena is for you!  Only rookie teams may 
enter this arena, and all managers must sign the "no-tourney" pledge.  Turn 0 is due 
on May 4 (overviews only) and Turn 1 is due on May 18.  

To avoid confusion, all old inactive teams which were in Seam have travelled to 
Mazgourrah (DM 77). 

Seam is the newest arena to join the no-tourney group of arenas and will process on 
opposite weeks with Shadowspire (DM 81), the original no-tourney arena.  Other no-
tourney arenas include Telorinthe (DM 83), a slow arena, and Storm Rock (DM 107), for 
ADM warriors.  

Join in the fun!  Send in your new rollup along with the pledge soon so you can get in 
on the ground floor of this new arena!


                               NO-TOURNEY ARENA PLEDGE

    * I pledge that I will not send warriors from this team to a tournament, nor 
      will I use a tournament prize on a warrior from this team.
    * I pledge to run a full team when I run turns in this arena.  If circumstances 
      preclude my running less than a full team, I will notify the Player Committee.
    * I agree to abide by the decisions of the Player Committee.
    * I understand that any warrior that participates in a tournament or receives 
      a tournament prize shall be sent to the Dark Arena until they are dead.

                                     [Sign your name]