DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 06/04/2015 Duedate: 07/01/2015 ARKERS ARENA DM-8 TURN-388 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS ENEMY MAKER WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) (8-4015) [19-11-1,107] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader PLYMOUTH ROCK OUT OF SOAP SMITHSONIAN (245) BASH BROS SHOWER (604) (8-5218) [30-7-0,119] (8-5282) [6-3-0,66] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite ENEMY MAKER VERTIGO WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) THE TRAVELERS (639) (8-4015) [19-11-1,107] (8-5631) [2-3-0,28] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM BASH BROS SHOWER (604) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. THE OUTLASW 2 (631) 46 2. HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 39 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 3. WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) 36 Unchartered Team 4. BASH BROS SHOWER (604) 32 5. SMITHSONIAN (245) 23 THE OUTLASW 2 (631) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*THE OUTLASW 2 (631) 4 1 1 80.0 1/ 4*BASH BROS SHOWER (604) 11 2 0 2/ 1 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 285 139 8 67.2 2/ 1 THE CHOSEN (613) 9 6 4 3/ 2 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) 106 57 2 65.0 3/ 3 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) 9 6 1 4/ 3 SMITHSONIAN (245) 750 452 16 62.4 4/ 2 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) 9 6 0 5/ 0 BORN LOSERS (634) 150 95 16 61.2 5/ 5 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) 8 5 0 6/ 4 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) 38 32 0 54.3 6/ 7 SMITHSONIAN (245) 7 2 0 7/ 5 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 46 43 6 51.7 7/ 6 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 7 8 0 8/ 6 THE CHOSEN (613) 226 222 18 50.4 8/10 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) 5 10 0 9/ 7 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) 34 36 1 48.6 9/ 0*THE OUTLASW 2 (631) 4 1 1 10/ 8 STEEL PROPHETS (615) 63 71 2 47.0 10/12 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 4 6 0 11/11*BASH BROS SHOWER (604) 18 21 1 46.2 11/ 9 STEEL PROPHETS (615) 4 11 0 12- 9 ROUGH RIDERS (587) 21 27 5 43.8 12/ 0 BORN LOSERS (634) 3 2 0 13/12 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) 35 60 2 36.8 13/13*THE TRAVELERS (639) 3 12 0 14-13 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546) 227 407 6 35.8 14- 8 ROUGH RIDERS (587) 2 3 0 15-15*SERIAL KILLAZ (638) 4 10 0 28.6 15-11*SERIAL KILLAZ (638) 1 8 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 16/14*THE TRAVELERS (639) 7 18 0 28.0 16-15 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546) 0 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT "Arrrrgh!" The scream permeated the quiet streets of Arkers. Those walking about their daily business turned their heads towards the white house that was the home of the Chosen stable. The old construct had been the home of the Chosen for almost three years now. The warrior monks had laughed there, cried there, mourned there, and now they tended to their ill. "Why won't she stop that infernal screaming?" Helga asked no one in particular; mostly because she was the only one in the house. Well, there was the other, but as Helga said in a moment of anger, their occupant wasn't all there. So she felt like the only one there. Her annoyance was visible on her face. She had stopped braiding her long blonde hair for the third time. She had found the blood chilling scream startling every time. "Who let her fall asleep?" Halin roared. The dwarven warrior slammed the door in anger so hard, the windows rattled in their sills. "No one did. She probably dropped from exhaustion. She hasn't had a decent night's sleep in a fortnight. The body can only take so much." "It was bound to happen." Helga said and began finishing her long braid. "Well she needs to stay awake just a little longer. You can hear her down the blazing street. Has Eton or Yrah returned?" At that exact moment the door opened again. This time it was Eton and Yrah. Eton removed his broad brimmed hat once he was inside. The hat was crimson in colour and had a bright yellow band. His shirt, pants, and boots were black as soot. Despite being a warrior, Eton was addicted to fashion. The only reason Longshot found him at a temple of Mantor was because Eton's father had sent him there to toughen him up. Believe it or not, it worked. Eton enjoyed combat as much as he enjoyed fashion. Behind him Yrah carried a small brown paper package. Yrah wasn't dressed nearly as fancy as Eton. He was content with a simple white shirt, blue pants, and black boots. It was all he felt he needed. If no one recognized him from the games, they would think he was a common labourer. Yrah had emerged as the most pious of the team. He was possible second to the deceased Pyrat Ironforged. Pyrat was so devout to Mantor, his behaviour sparked a rebirth of the Chosen. What were a bunch of mercenaries had returned to the stable's roots. Now there were morning, noon, and even prayers. There was greater pride in their martial skill. If only he and Marc Strifeminer were still alive to see how much the team had changed. But the daggers of common street thugs had made sure that didn't happen. "I have the herbs. I'll brew them up and see if we can get her to take the drink. It's supposed to be a stronger mix than the last..." The rest of the sentence died on Yrah's lips as the sound of footsteps could be heard upstairs. Each foot step was like the reanimated dead. They were heavy, plodding, as if they were dragging along years of guilt and pain along on its shoulders. The footsteps plodded down the flight of stairs and stopped once the small foot of the Fratsfan girl stepped into the main area of the house. She looked up to see her assembled team mates looking back at her. Sehwyn Steel felt a rush of embarrassment when she realized her teammates had heard her. But what once was annoyance and disgust turned to concern. If pressed, the Chosen would have said that the girl was mad as a hatter and had no place in the arena. She should have been in an asylum. But now, looking at her at this moment, she looked so small and frail. Her blue nightgown was sweat-stained under the arms and hung on a frame that looked flushed and wasted. If she had eaten in a week, they would be surprised. Her hair was uncombed and splayed over her head. Her eyes looked hollow and sunken with black rings under them. The gaunt look of her face added to the walking dead look of her. And then she fell face-forward. Yrah bolted forward with the package still in his hand and caught her before she could hit the ground. "Thank you, brother Yrah." "No problem, sister. Eton and I went to the herbalist and he said this will help with the nightmares." Sehwyn thanked her teammates. But she was so weak; it came out as a faint whisper. Yrah threw her arm over his shoulder and helped her to the couch in the living room. Eton wrinkled his nose as the two passed by. Evidently Sehwyn had given up washing as well as sleep. Fortunately, Eton had enough couth to not say anything. Helga moved over to make room for their tormented teammate to sit. Once Sehwyn was comfortable on the couch, Yrah went to the kitchen to fetch the kettle that they kept on the wood burning stove. The embers from the wood in the belly of the black bell- shaped monstrosity were still burning red from the morning's breakfast, thus the water was still hot enough for tea. Yrah spooned in two heaping mounds of the herbs into a mug and added the water. Faint waves of steam began to rise from the water in the mug. It wasn't as hot as the tea that morning, but it was good enough for what they needed. Yrah returned with the steaming mug of liquid and handed it to Sehwyn. The clear water had become dark amber in colour. It reminded Sehwyn of the syrup her father bought from the merchants in north of Alastari. The dry herbs had absorbed the water and settled to the bottom of the mug. Helga placed a hand on the bone-thin shoulder of Sehwyn. "Would you like to talk about it?" They had tried to figure out what had caused her nightmares ever since they started two months ago. There was a hint in the personal ads, but things seemed to go deeper than that. Sehwyn took a big gulp from the mug and swallowed the bitter liquid. "It began when I was child." She said. As she talked she could feel the burden lifting from her shoulders. "Olaf's travelling circus had come to our town. It was considered a grand event. Everyone went to it to see what talent he had recruited. He had fire eaters from Lirith Kai, a Mironi contortionist, dancing bears from the northern lands such as Snowbound, and all manners of oddities and clowns. We children loved to see the oddities that travel with him. He had a Shewish Giant who had a head as small as a regular human's and there was a woman with a full flowing beard. My favourite was the wolf boy. His body was completely covered with thick black hair. He would run around on all fours, or as close as a human could, and howl at the top of his lungs." Sehwyn took another big gulp of the tea. The bitterness had lessened and she could almost get a hint of honey in the aftertaste. "My parents took me to the show one night and the next day me and some of the other children were talking about it. One of the children, his name was Jere, had said the oddities weren't oddities at all but regular people with makeup and fake noses. Of course we called him a liar and told him to prove it. Jere was always talking down to us. He was the oldest and thought of us as a bunch of dumb kids." Another sip was taken and the contents of the mug were nearly gone. Sehwyn felt herself feeling calmer. It was the same effect as if she had too much wine. "We decided to go back to the field where the tents were set up then and there. There was only one more day of performances and if we didn't do it then, we would never know. We soon arrived at the field and it was odd. Everything was quiet and calm. We thought we would see everyone carrying on like they did during the performances. Maybe the fire eater would be sitting down for a lunch of burning briquettes and the acrobats would walk around on their hands as opposed to on their feet like the regular people. But it was dead silent. Jere figured everyone was asleep and that it would that much easier to prove that it was fake. Why would they sleep in all of that make up. So we silently tip toed through the tents out in the field. That is when we heard a man's voice cry out. 'How could you do this to me?!??!' Common sense would have told us to run away, but we didn't. We went towards the shouting. It was coming from a yellow tent in the corner of the camp. The flap was half opened and we could see a pair of red pant-legs. Everyone was afraid to look so they pushed me to do it. I was terrified. I crawled on all fours to the opening. When I got close I saw one of the clowns from the circus. I recognised him because he was the one that juggled sticks painted red, yellow, and green. But this time he didn't have his coloured sticks. This time he had a long knife, like the one the butcher used at the meat market. I had seen one when I went shopping with my mom. In a corner of the tent was the Wolf boy and he was holding a large purse. He was cowering away from the clown. Wolf Boy was still all covered with hair so it wasn't an act. I would make sure to rub it into Jere's face when I saw him again. 'I am sorry, William. I need to get out of here and this money would help. I plan on sending it back to you when I get set up. I wouldn't lie to you.' 'You wouldn't lie to me? That is all you've ever done was lie. While people in Niania were making fun of you and making dog noises when you walk by, I befriended you. No one would give you a job, so I brought you in. I introduced you to everyone. I told them that you were a good man and could be trusted. These people are my family. And you repay me by stealing from us. Well, you won't lie to me again.' That is when the clown ran forward and began to repeatedly stab the Wolf Boy. I placed my hand over my mouth. Partially to keep from crying out and partially to keep my breakfast down. I had never seen someone stabbed before. Finally the Wolf Boy fell lifeless to the ground and the clown turned. He had cleaned most of the makeup off, but it looked like some of it was still caked on. The combination made him look odd. It made him look evil. I thought he didn't see me, but our eyes met and locked on each other as if we were lovers. But there was no love in his eyes. I saw embarrassment and self-loathing. I saw a man that regretted letting his anger get the best of him. He must have remembered what he had done because he began shoving hands full of little hawks into the pockets of his oversized pants. He left the rest in the large bag lying next to the body of the wolf boy. The clown turned to leave but he looked back to see me still there. I didn't move a muscle because I was petrified. And then he finally spoke to me. 'If anyone runs and tells what they saw, I will come back and do the same to them. Maybe their mother and father too. We wouldn't want that, would we?' He finally left on that note. I was so scared, I just crawled away. When I finally found my friends, they kept pestering me about what had happened. I lied and said that I saw two men fighting and that they looked like they were drunk. I remembered to tell Jere that I saw the Wolf Boy and that he was still covered with hair. I don't know why that thought surfaced. But it did. We decided to leave because we didn't want drunk circus people coming after us. No one ever said anything about a murder. So I can only assume that the circus hid the killing and moved onto another city. I never mentioned it until now." Helga pulled Sehwyn to her and gave her a hug. "No wonder you freaked out when you fought the Serial Killaz. That entire team wears clown make up." Sehwyn couldn't say another word. She had fallen asleep in Helga's arms. "Don't worry guys; I will take her back upstairs." Helga then stood and lifted her sleeping stablemate up into her arms and carried her up the stairs. "How long do you think the sedative will last?" asked Eton. "Let's hope for at least eight hours. We all could use the rest. It has been a rough two weeks for all of us." And so the sun set on the city of Arkers. And while families ate dinners together and the taverns bustled with activity, the stable house of the Chosen sat dark and quiet. Not a soul stirred inside for the first time in weeks. Except to change positions in slumber or to readjust their blankets. SPY REPORT Hail and well met warriors of ARKERS! Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari. Former top team THE CHOSEN was unseated this week as BASH BROS SHOWER moved up from 4th ranking to take the top spot with a 4-0-0 record for the round. Fortune did not smile upon ROUGH RIDERS this time out who this turn suffered a fall into 14th position in the wake of a 0-0-0 round. Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner! Witness how this week BASH BROS SHOWER went 4-0-0 to move up 3 in the rankings. My praise to SMITHSONIAN for their 3-0-0 week this time out. Indeed, it was a skillfully fought round deserving of notice! I could not but notice the fine record for THE OUTLASW 2 (4-1-1) after their first round of combat. May the gods of war favor you in ARKERS! Most watched of the fights this week, the spotlight was on ENEMY MAKER as he bore arms against the challenge of reigning Duelmaster DESTROYER TADD. This time victory fell to the grasp of the usurper. All hail ENEMY MAKER, Duelmaster of ARKERS! Informants "close" to the city champion have told me that he never fights without pantyhose on beneath his armor. Watch out! I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently transpired. Indeed there is much I would report. I saw one fighter that warriors avoided when this week's challenge seeking began. HOYT FOUNDATION is feared. This much I can say. If you didn't look down dark alleys you'd have been hard pressed to find any of GHOSTWALKERS 2 last week. Busy avoiding HOYT FOUNDATION? Mighty fighters cannot but expect competition from those below. VERTIGO take warning! You have more than a few enemies in ARKERS. At the gambling halls I have started to bet money on PARIS TROUT. He has got the courage it takes. Witness his challenge this turn against LUCIFEROUS HOPE! Truth to tell, PARIS TROUT did not come out of the fight a winner, but he managed to capture much attention, gaining 4 in recognition. For some warriors honor is not important--only empty victory. See, gladiators, how HELGA LOARWEN of THE CHOSEN challenged down 16 points to AMAZON QUEEN. The Fates are not kind to the cowardly, as evidenced by the fact that HELGA LOARWEN was subdued by AMAZON QUEEN. And who can now doubt that AMAZON QUEEN is a hardy opponent? A match that raised a few eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that THE GYPSY posted a challenge against the more highly recognized JELLYBOMBER. The results, you ask? Well, the firebrand THE GYPSY bested JELLYBOMBER. Remember warriors, this is the discipline of steel. I can not but mention with disdain the name of DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH who this week posted a challenge to a warrior a full 11 points below in the rankings. I thought DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH showed great skill and promise when he overcame LORD SHADOW. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser? Warriors, may this counselor stand ready at your right hand forever! Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears arms. One thing is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt! The girls are as pretty in ARKERS as ever I remembered them....and the fighters as ugly! Don't let your reputation slip! Ahh, but I can hear the spires of a far off city calling to me. I must away! Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ENEMY MAKER 4015 19 11 1 107 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218 30 7 0 119 SMITHSONIAN (245) ZEST 5224 27 9 1 109 Z GLADIATORZ (519) CUTTER CRITES 5555 7 4 1 104 BORN LOSERS (634) -MAYFLOWER 5235 21 10 0 97 SMITHSONIAN (245) DESTROYER TADD 5597 12 4 2 93 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) -LUCKY STRIKES 5426 10 3 0 92 SMITHSONIAN (245) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME DINGO MCGEE 5384 15 13 1 88 STEEL PROPHETS (615) YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527 9 1 3 82 THE CHOSEN (613) OLD IRONSIDES 5523 8 3 0 74 SMITHSONIAN (245) LUCIFEROUS HOPE 5522 9 10 0 67 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME OUT OF SOAP 5282 6 3 0 66 BASH BROS SHOWER (604) THE GYPSY 5587 6 3 2 64 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) GRIMM 5482 10 4 0 62 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) ZOO 5236 14 15 0 61 Z GLADIATORZ (519) PUNK CHILSNER 5549 6 0 1 61 BORN LOSERS (634) DAN QUEVOS 5544 5 1 0 61 BORN LOSERS (634) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME THE SHRIEKER 5554 4 4 1 53 BORN LOSERS (634) ZIRCONIUM 5493 8 1 0 50 Z GLADIATORZ (519) EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466 5 10 1 50 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) REAPER 5483 9 5 0 47 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) JELLYBOMBER 5458 13 6 0 45 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) KYRON FLEMING 5545 6 0 1 44 BORN LOSERS (634) DEMON TALON 5456 9 10 1 42 STEEL PROPHETS (615) PARIS TROUT 5591 7 6 0 39 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -STARR OF DESTINY 5088 9 5 3 38 ROUGH RIDERS (587) HALIN STORMBREAKER 5498 7 4 1 38 THE CHOSEN (613) THE ANXIOUS MAN 5589 7 5 1 37 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) STONEWALL 5494 8 6 0 34 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ETON THE STALWART 5496 9 4 0 33 THE CHOSEN (613) -TOGA THE RAGER 5087 5 2 0 32 ROUGH RIDERS (587) SLOW DRAIN 5618 4 1 0 32 BASH BROS SHOWER (604) STANDING WATER 5617 4 1 0 31 BASH BROS SHOWER (604) -POTTER SANDS 5448 5 14 0 29 MIDDLE WAY 11 (546) GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500 8 4 0 28 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) VERTIGO 5631 2 3 0 28 THE TRAVELERS (639) DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH 5610 5 1 0 27 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) COLD 5640 3 0 0 26 BASH BROS SHOWER (604) PIMPOLOCO 5642 3 1 0 26 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME JOHNNY RINGO 5502 1 0 0 23 THE OUTLASW 2 (631) SEHWYN STEEL 5633 2 1 2 21 THE CHOSEN (613) AMAZON QUEEN 5629 2 3 0 20 THE TRAVELERS (639) KLOBBERELLA 5651 2 0 0 20 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) SITTING BULL 5638 2 0 0 18 SMITHSONIAN (245) ARIXIA 5512 4 5 0 17 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) MALICE 5529 3 6 0 15 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) DRULINDA 5621 3 2 0 15 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) -DESTINY 5648 1 0 0 15 ROUGH RIDERS (587) ZIP IT 5537 3 2 0 14 Z GLADIATORZ (519) EGRIM 5510 2 6 1 13 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) LORD SHADOW 5627 2 3 0 13 THE TRAVELERS (639) JHERI BLOOMERS 5643 1 3 0 13 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) MANDIBULON 5655 1 0 0 13 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) GUNTHER 5507 3 2 0 11 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) MAQURO DOOMAXE 5634 1 2 0 11 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) HELGA LOARWEN 5632 2 2 1 9 THE CHOSEN (613) CURLY BILL 5501 1 0 0 9 THE OUTLASW 2 (631) JACK POWERS 5503 1 0 1 7 THE OUTLASW 2 (631) MALLAFAX 5508 1 4 0 7 BROKEN SPIRITS (632) VIPER 5630 1 4 0 7 THE TRAVELERS (639) JOHN HARDIN 5505 1 0 0 6 THE OUTLASW 2 (631) RADICULEX 5656 1 0 0 6 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) -MYAMOTO MUSHASHI 5625 1 2 0 5 SERIAL KILLAZ (638) -SUNN OF DESTINY 5639 1 1 0 4 ROUGH RIDERS (587) DRAGONFLY 5636 0 4 0 4 STEEL PROPHETS (615) -SHAGGY 2 DOPE 5622 0 2 0 2 SERIAL KILLAZ (638) TEXAS RED 5504 0 1 0 1 THE OUTLASW 2 (631) -MR ROTTEN TREATS 5650 0 1 0 1 SERIAL KILLAZ (638) ALAMARYANE 5652 0 1 0 1 THE TRAVELERS (639) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? DOOM 5485 7 5 0 GHOSTWALKERS 2 629 EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466 386 JUST REVENGED IMERTA LOEL 5225 16 50 0 MIDDLE WAY 11 546 DESTROYER TADD 5597 385 EBARK THE ROUGH 5089 1 5 0 ROUGH RIDERS 587 THE GYPSY 5587 384 NOT REVENGED MONOXIDE CHILD 5624 2 1 0 SERIAL KILLAZ 638 HELGA LOARWEN 5632 387 UGLY FACE 5626 0 3 0 SERIAL KILLAZ 638 SEHWYN STEEL 5633 387 VIOLENT J 5623 1 1 0 SERIAL KILLAZ 638 SEHWYN STEEL 5633 386 CALEB THE GRINDE 5637 0 4 0 STEEL PROPHETS 615 MOUNTAIN TROLL 388 NONE RUMBLEFUNK 5657 0 1 0 STEEL PROPHETS 615 JACK POWERS 5503 388 ZINC 5266 10 8 1 Z GLADIATORZ 519 YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527 386 PERSONAL ADS Destroyer Tadd, we Smithsonians salute you and the Hoyt Foundation from which you come. Well done, Duelmaster. -- Curator Blue Flak, you were simply better than me. Salute. -- Lucky Strikes Demon Talon, this old ship was at its very best. -- Old Ironsides Mr. Rotten Treats, you tasted rather good, actually. -- Sitting Bull Health. Humility. Honor. -- Curator Me Z's be 2-1. Z forze be wiz uz! -- Mr. Z Dragonfly, it surely was nice of you to challenge. I needed an easy zip it up win. -- Zip It Gypsy? Hoyt? Neither looked very sparkling to me. -- Zirconium Jellybomber, I ain't no jelly, but you sure made me look like it, you bomber. -- Zoo Zis ve Z territory. If'n ye iz no z, ye be nothingz! -- The Zee Man (Mr. Z to you.) Jorja -- You will be missed indeed. -- Scorpio *wink* Thanks to all for the kind words to Blue Flak upon his departure (or ascension, as he puts it) to the Isle. Good luck to all of you on your pursuit for immortality, unless you're fighting one of mine. -- Lugal, Mgr., Steel Prophets Weird Alchemy -- Lichip goes 7-3-0 in the Fools Tourney and you send them to the DA?!?!?!? You guys are demanding. -- Longshot Z Gladiators -- Well, it looks like I did you guys a favour. Then again, he kills with a war flail. Maybe he had a reason to be cocky. -- Yrah Banewrecker Steel Prophets -- In our haste to make the last deadline, we at the chosen did not offer up a hearty congratulation to Blue Flak for such a speedy ascension to the Isle. Congratulations!!! -- The Chosen Out of Soap -- Seriously! Wash! The cloud of flies around you was so thick, I could barely see you during the fight. -- Yrah Banewrecker Arixia -- Does your name come from some ancient language? I bet it translates into "He who hits like a gnat." -- Eton Ugly Face -- I HATE CLOWNS!!! This city has too many clowns!!! -- Sehwyn Steel Gunther -- And so ends an undefeated record. Well fought. -- Halin Monoxide Child -- I, on the other hand, have nothing against clowns. I like the squeaky sound you make when I hit them. -- Helga Loarwen Grimm -- Right. One mo time den. -- Eadskar Da'Bad Lord Shadow -- Lookz like yoos 'fraid uv ya own shadow. Hur hur. -- Gutsag Bakwort Malice -- Whew! That was close. -- Stonewall Jheri Bloomers -- I betcha crapped ya blooma afta dat hit. Hur hur -- Ded 'Ard Slow Drain -- Well, that was ah different kind of bout. Absolutely top hole - I have to say. Whoh could have imagined one would lose to someone fancy you, one's old bean, in such ah mannah. It baffles the mind. Jolly good show old bean! Jolly good! -- Maquro Doomaxe LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS CALEB THE GRINDER was butchered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight. GRIMM won victory over EADSKAR DA'BAD in a 1 minute Bloodfeud battle. DESTROYER TADD was overcome by ENEMY MAKER in a 2 minute Challenge Title match. THE GYPSY devastated JELLYBOMBER in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest. PARIS TROUT was subdued by LUCIFEROUS HOPE in a 3 minute Challenge competition. DEMON TALON was luckily beaten by ZIRCONIUM in a exciting 3 minute Challenge struggle. OUT OF SOAP handily defeated ZOO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. STONEWALL won victory over VERTIGO in a action packed 5 minute Challenge duel. DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH won victory over LORD SHADOW in a 1 minute Challenge fight. SEHWYN STEEL slimly lost to SLOW DRAIN in a popular 1 minute novice's Challenge duel. EGRIM was overpowered by STANDING WATER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. ARIXIA was overpowered by THE ANXIOUS MAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match. DRAGONFLY was devastated by KLOBBERELLA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle. HELGA LOARWEN was bested by AMAZON QUEEN in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge bout. ZIP IT was overcome by COLD in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge fight. PIMPOLOCO overpowered DRULINDA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle. ZEST unbelievably bested DINGO MCGEE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute master's bout. CUTTER CRITES was luckily beaten by PLYMOUTH ROCK in a exciting 4 minute brutal bout. YRAH BANEWRECKER savagely defeated NOBLE ASSASSIN in a popular 2 minute bloody match. THE SHRIEKER was devastated by OLD IRONSIDES in a 1 minute one-sided contest. PUNK CHILSNER savagely defeated REAPER in a exciting 2 minute gory duel. DAN QUEVOS viciously subdued ETON THE STALWART in a action packed 2 minute duel. GUTSAG BAKWORT was overpowered by KYRON FLEMING in a slow 4 minute one-sided match. HALIN STORMBREAKER overpowered MALICE in a 2 minute uneven fight. MAQURO DOOMAXE was outlasted by SITTING BULL in a tiresome 13 minute bout. MALLAFAX lost to CURLY BILL in a 2 minute beginner's bout. GUNTHER was handily defeated by JOHNNY RINGO in a 1 minute uneven bout. VIPER was savagely defeated by JHERI BLOOMERS in a 2 minute beginner's competition. JOHN HARDIN savagely defeated ALAMARYANE in a popular 1 minute brutal beginner's duel. TEXAS RED was subdued by RADICULEX in a exciting 3 minute brutal novice's fight. JACK POWERS killed RUMBLEFUNK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute novice's fray. MANDIBULON vanquished SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute mismatched fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |BASHING ATTACK 11 AIMED BLOW 32 - 18 - 1 64 | |TOTAL PARRY 10 PARRY-STRIKE 14 - 8 - 2 64 | |AIMED BLOW 9 WALL OF STEEL 28 - 19 - 3 60 | |STRIKING ATTACK 8 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 5 - 0 58 | |LUNGING ATTACK 7 TOTAL PARRY 46 - 44 - 0 51 | |SLASHING ATTACK 6 BASHING ATTACK 53 - 60 - 6 47 | |WALL OF STEEL 4 PARRY-RIPOSTE 9 - 11 - 0 45 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 SLASHING ATTACK 29 - 37 - 4 44 | |PARRY-LUNGE 2 LUNGING ATTACK 15 - 25 - 1 38 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 STRIKING ATTACK 18 - 33 - 2 35 | Turn 388 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 4 4 SLASHING ATTACK PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 2 - 5 3 TOTAL PARRY STRIKING ATTACK 5 - 3 2 STRIKING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 5 - 4 1 WALL OF STEEL BASHING ATTACK 6 - 5 1 PARRY-STRIKE PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 TOTAL PARRY 5 - 5 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 2 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME STRIKING ATTACK ENEMY MAKER 4015 19 11 1 107 WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) TOTAL PARRY PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218 30 7 0 119 SMITHSONIAN (245) SLASHING ATTACK CUTTER CRITES 5555 7 4 1 104 BORN LOSERS (634) WALL OF STEEL DESTROYER TADD 5597 12 4 2 93 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) PARRY-STRIKE OLD IRONSIDES 5523 8 3 0 74 SMITHSONIAN (245) AIMED BLOW OUT OF SOAP 5282 6 3 0 66 BASH BROS SHOWER (604) LUNGING ATTACK THE GYPSY 5587 6 3 2 64 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) PARRY-RIPOSTE GRIMM 5482 10 4 0 62 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629) BASHING ATTACK DAN QUEVOS 5544 5 1 0 61 BORN LOSERS (634) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is ENEMY MAKER 4015. The most popular warrior this turn was VERTIGO 5631. The ten other most popular fighters were LUCIFEROUS HOPE 5522, DEMON TALON 5456, TEXAS RED 5504, DINGO MCGEE 5384, PUNK CHILSNER 5549, CUTTER CRITES 5555, YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527, DAN QUEVOS 5544, JHERI BLOOMERS 5643, and ZIP IT 5537. The least popular fighter this week was SITTING BULL 5638. The other ten least popular fighters were MAQURO DOOMAXE 5634, GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500, ALAMARYANE 5652, GUNTHER 5507, KYRON FLEMING 5545, ETON THE STALWART 5496, THE SHRIEKER 5554, PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218, DRULINDA 5621, and HELGA LOARWEN 5632. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: ENEMY MAKER (8-4015) WEIRD ALCHEMY (476) * * * * * MEMO * * * * * From: The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission To: All Managers In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately. Managers may register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission. Each warrior may have up to 15 favorite sayings. Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, Victory and may be up to 70 characters long. For any questions, please contact the Gladiatorial Commission.