Date   : 12/17/2015    Duedate: 01/13/2016


DM-8    TURN-395

This Weeks Top Honors


(8-5378) [14-3-0,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE CHOSEN (613)               LITTLE DUCKS (640)
(8-5527) [13-4-3,126]          (8-5660) [5-1-0,45]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

OL' GRIZ                       DAN QUEVOS
(8-4755) [17-11-3,105]         (8-5544) [7-5-0,77]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PEASANT REBELLION (614)     56
2. HOYT FOUNDATION (636)       34      PEASANT REBELLION (614)
3. LITTLE DUCKS (640)          31      Unchartered Team
4. STEEL PROPHETS (615)        27
5. MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)    24      LITTLE DUCKS (640)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 PEASANT REBELLION (614)   58  24  0 70.7   1/10 PEASANT REBELLION (614)  11  4 0
 2/ 2 Z GLADIATORZ (519)       300 149  8 66.8   2/ 3 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)   10  5 0
 3/ 4 SMITHSONIAN (245)        767 462 16 62.4   3/ 1 NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)   9  3 0
 4/ 5 BORN LOSERS (634)        164 108 17 60.3   4/ 4*LITTLE DUCKS (640)        8  6 0
 5/ 6 NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)  184 140 17 56.8   5/ 5 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)     7  3 0
 6/ 7 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)     62  57  6 52.1   6/16 STEEL PROPHETS (615)      7  6 0
 7/10*LITTLE DUCKS (640)        15  14  0 51.7   7/ 2 THE CHOSEN (613)          7  8 1
 8- 8*THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)       18  17  4 51.4   8/11 Z GLADIATORZ (519)        6  4 0
 9/ 9 THE CHOSEN (613)         241 242 19 49.9   9/12 MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)  6  8 0
10/11 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)    52  53  1 49.5  10- 8*THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)       5  5 2
11/14 STEEL PROPHETS (615)      80  86  2 48.2  11/ 9 SMITHSONIAN (245)         5  5 0
12/13 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)      47  53  1 47.0  12/ 6 SERIOUS LEE (486)         5  9 1
13/16 MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)  96 112  7 46.2  13/ 7 BASH BROS SHOWER (604)    5  9 0
14/17 SERIOUS LEE (486)         34  43  1 44.2  14/17 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)      4 11 1
15/18 BASH BROS SHOWER (604)    31  40  1 43.7  15/15 BORN LOSERS (634)         2  7 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
16-19 BROKEN SPIRITS (632)      47  78  3 37.6  16-18 BROKEN SPIRITS (632)      2  8 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     The Bloody Hand Clan's guild house was filled with the smells of an orcish 
yuletide meal. There was the smell of roasted boar with a special rub that was known 
only to Gutsag Bakwort. The portly orc had taken a fascination with berries and herbs 
grown in the forest near Arkers over the last few months. Some were successes. The 
mushrooms used in the bison soup were possibly his best acquirement. The biggest 
disaster had to be the wine he made with some yellow and blue berries that he swore 
his books said were Elder Berries. When he was asked to see the alleged book, he 
claimed to have lost it. Even after repeated punches in the gut, he still said he 
couldn't find it. The orcs didn't stop slurring their speech and sounding like a 
member of Z Gladiatorz for a fortnight.
     Slaves busied themselves with chopping carrots, potatoes, and onions. Some rolled 
in barrels of wine from their cellar while others prepped chickens and rabbits. Some 
were using a massive wire masher on a mound of potatoes. The huge bowl that held the 
potatoes rocked with each violent mashing. It would have been easier to lessen the 
amount in the bowl and mash them. But Eadskar wanted them done and onto another task. 
And so they slammed the masher into the mound of steaming potatoes with every ounce of 
their being. When one got tired, another would take over and let his partner rest his 
tired, burning arms.
     "Hey Yoos!" Eadskar bellowed from his chair in the corner. He was supervising 
everything with a huge mug of brandy. This amber delicacy wasn't one of Gutsag's 
concoctions. This is was one of the finest brandies that ever graced the Ghea and all 
of her populace. And it was stolen from a caravan to some royal mucky muck in Osksi. 
The taste was superb! Each gulp was like heaven with warming after burn that carried a 
hint of honey. Eadskar had decided that the tasted of it was well worth the punishment 
he would face if he was caught with the three barrels in his cellar. He took another 
big swallow and felt the warmth wash over himself all over again. Now, if only he 
could figure out how to get rid of those blasted markings on the barrels. One of the 
slaves caught his attention.
     "Watch how yoos chop up dem carrots! I dinna tell ya to make parchment! I want 
dem chunky! Chunky like ya fat wife."
     One of the female slaves stopped in midchop. Her hand squeezed the handle of the 
knife so hard, her knuckles turned white and her arm began to tremble. The other 
slaves noticed her reaction, but they kept her heads down and continued to work. If 
she was foolish enough to attack the maniac, good for her. She would be in the right. 
How could he call her chunky with the meager rations they were fed. It's a wonder if 
any of them weren't stuffing their mouths full of the food they were preparing. But 
none dare to steal food or to look up at the drama unfolding before them. Looking up 
to watch it unfold could earn you a beating just as severe as theft. No. Chopping 
vegetables was the safest bet.
     Soon the prep work was done and Eadskar went to the counter. As he walked over, 
he swayed slightly. The brandy's full effect could be felt when he stood. It flooded 
his body like a dam had broken. The boss of the Bloody Hand Clan placed both of his 
hands on the counter to steady himself. He even managed to place the mug of brandy 
down too.  Sitting on the counter next to him was a black roasting pan with a lid. 
Under the lid came a faint scratching sound. The orc finally got his bearings and 
straightened up. Someone handed him his apron and he began to strap on a dingy white 
apron covered in old blood.  He steadied himself and looked around at the slaves 
staring at him. The woman he had called chunky still held her chopping knife. She was 
moving towards the drunken orc. Eadskar eyes fought to focus. It appeared that the fat 
wench was going to gut him. The boss of the Clan tried to straighten up and defend 
himself when Ded 'Ard Skullcrush, and his cousin, Marquro Doomaxe walked into the 
     "'Ello boss" Ded said.
     "Spiffing day, sir. Heavens above! How smashing!" Marquro said.
     The woman instantly placed the meat cleaver on the counter and stepped away. The 
boss orc picked it up in his ham hand and looked at her. He still hadn't decided if 
she was going to attack him or was simply handing it to him. Eadskar reached for the 
heavy lid to remove it from the roaster.
     "The hice smells divine, sir. What uhthah delicacies aaare you, one's old bean, 
prepaaaring for this yule...."
     Maquro's words trailed off. What caused him to lose his train of thought was what 
his boss had brought out of the roaster.  It was a cat. The animal was shaved 
completely bald. Its bare flesh was a pinkish white with red nick marks over various 
areas of its body. The doomed cat mewed weakly.
     "One is sorry, sir. But what aaare you, planning ohn doing to that poohr ani--?"
     Dead 'Ard slammed his elbow into the ribs of his cousin's side. The blow was so 
violet, that it caused the eloquent orc to gasp and double over.
     "Dat looks good boss. When do we eat?" Ded 'Ard added. "Has Defensive Lee noticed 
'is cat is missin'?  Dat'l teach'em for takin a match up against Stoney. Even though 
Stoney is goin' ta da dark arena. 'E still didn't need ta fight'em."
     Eadskar nodded in agreement. The Shewish giant was on his way to the dark arena. 
This would be his last meal as a member of the clan. Eadskar had had his fill of the 
giant's moronic behaviour. He was done. He only hoped the replacement was a better fit 
for the clan. Marquro was still doubled over and wincing in pain. He felt like he was 
going to pass out from the blow. Marquro reached out for the frame of the door way to 
keep from falling over. Eadskar noticed this.
     "Wats wrong wid 'em?"
     "Nuffin' boss" Ded lied. 
     "'Es been fartin' al day. I blame dem fancy cheeses 'e eats."
     "Don be fartin' in 'ere! Yoos gonna ruin the arm-bi-unce. Take ya foulness outta 
     Marquro, still unable to breathe properly, waved and staggered off. He made his 
way upstairs. Ded 'Ard wondered if his cousin would understand. He had just saved him 
from a thrashing after all. Once Maquro was at the top of the stairs, he straightened 
up. As soon as he did, he felt a popping in his side. It felt as if something was 
popping back in place. His side still hurt like hell, but his breathing improved. That 
is when he heard a thwacking sound. It sounded like someone was hitting a sack of meat 
against the counter. Each thwack was accompanied with the shriek of a cat. Maquro 
froze. He wanted to ignore the brutal act taking place downstairs, but he couldn't 
help but listen. His morbid fascination had gotten the best of him. Finally the 
kitchen became quiet.
     "Well...dats one down. 'Ow many more do we have left?"
     "Five more, master." One of the slaves answered.
     "Well, 'urry up!" Der are some hungry boyz in dis stable. We need ta git cookin'. 
Dis 'uns mine 'cause it was Defensive Lee's. Don git it mixed up. Da utters will be 
fer da boys.  An don trow way dem guts. Dey will be used to make sausage casinz."
     And so the thwacking began anew. This only reinforced Maquro's confidence that he 
was doing the right thing. Marquro walked to a room at the far end of the hall and 
     "Come in", was the reply on the other side of the door. Maquro opened the door 
and quietly tipped in. Sitting on the edge of the bed was the Shewish giant. He was 
dressed in a pair of massive green pants and an equally massive black shirt. His head 
was downcast.
     "Aaare you, one's old bean, ready?"
     Stonewall nodded, but he couldn't hide the sadness he felt inside.
     "Why do I have to go?" he asked. He turned to look at Maquro and a large tear 
rolled down his face. Maquro felt his heart break.
     "You, one's old bean, have to toh live." Maquro said. He looked around and saw a 
big leather bag sitting on the floor. It looked full.
     "I can live here." The giant bawled.
     Marquro moved to quiet him. "Noh, you can't. You, one's old bean, aaare in dangah 
here. Remembah what one told you, about gladiators with losing records?"
     "Well, why aren't you going with me? You are losing too."
     The words stung, but they were true.
     "Trust myself, one will be doing the same if things mustah as frightful as they 
aaare for you. Eadskaaar is angry at you. One knohs you, fancy him, but he is. Trust 
myself. One fancies you, one's old bean, to jolly well goh and meet the people one 
told you about. Aftah that, they will take you, somewhere safe. Remembah: mustah ohn 
the wagohn with blue covering. When you, one's old bean, mustah to the uhthah city, 
they will send ah lettah beck. If one has to leave, one will meet you, there. If not, 
you, one's old bean, can find some nicah people to live with. Hoh does that sound?"
     "Why are you doing this for me?" asked the Shewish giant. He sniffed and wiped 
the tears from his face.
     "It's yule, lad. One is giving you, ah gift. Life. Noh let's mustah going before 
they come loohking for us. Don't you know?"
     So the two crept down the stairs. Maquro went first to make sure the coast was 
clear. Stonewall soon followed. Maquro looked over in the kitchen and he saw Eadskar 
kicking a woman repeatedly in the stomach. The other slaves were huddled in the corner 
and terrified. There was a man pleading to the angry orc boss to stop. Eadskar wasn't 
listening and the woman could only wail and cry for mercy.  Maquro waved the giant 
over and they both slipped through the door.
     "Jollyoh, lad. This is it. Be safe. One hope you, one's old bean, enjoy your new 
     Before another word could be said, Maquro found himself scooped up off the 
ground. The Shewish giant held him in a massive bear hug and swung him back and forth 
in the air.
     "Thank you, Maquro. You are my best friend. First it was Beckah. But now it is 
     The giant then placed the startled orc on the ground and patted him on the head.
     "You aaare moyne, lad. You aaare moyne."
     Maquro then hustled him off. This would all be a waste if Eadskar or one of the 
others came out and saw them. Stonewall took two steps and then broke into a run. 
Maquro waved at him even though he did not see him.
     Maquro turned to go back inside. But he was stopped in his tracks. Standing on 
the steps were Gutsag Bakwort and and Ded 'Ard Skullcrush. Gutsag was holding a jug of 
     "Is 'e gonna be okay?" Ded 'Ard asked. Marquro only nodded. He could feel his 
life slipping away. Marquro envisioned them calling Eadskar and then the three of them 
beating him within an inch of his life.
     "Good." Gutsag said. "'E 'ad no business 'ere. Eadskar will be pissed. But wat of 
it? It iz better dis way. And we will neva tell 'im wat really 'appened."
     All three nodded in agreement. Maquro decided to take a walk. He needed to clear 
his head. And to be honest, he was feeling a bit of loss. The dullard had grown on 
him. And oddly enough, he was the only one who knew what Maquro was saying. This 
caused Marquro to stop in his tracks. Perhaps he wasn't such a dullard after all. 

     "Thanks, sweet heart", a gruff man said and gave the waitress a smack on her 
bottom. It was the early shift at the Drunken Swordsman and there were only a few 
tables with customers. But none of them had the gall to put their hands on the staff. 
The waitress yelped and did a comical skip that sent her several feet in the air. She 
spun around to glare at the man. Her first instinct was to give him a crack with her 
serving tray. But she knew better. This was one of the Steel Prophets. That bunch 
wasn't to be trifled with.
     The Steel Prophets were what you would get if you took a bunch of thugs and 
street gang members and made a gladiator stable with them. The young man who had the 
odd way of showing affection to the waitress was Doom Groover. He was fairly new to 
the games. Doom Groover was a powerful man. He had a thick powerful build; perhaps 
even freakish. It looked as if he had neck muscles that simply grew from his broad 
shoulders. His jaw was broad as well. If an artist took a block of granite and carved 
a human caricature, that would be Doom Groover. Despite his hardness, he had a boyish 
face framed by his medium length black hair.
     The big man leaned over his plate as if he was afraid someone was going to take 
it away from him. He had a large meal before him. There was half a chicken split into 
a wing, breast, thigh, and leg. Next to that was a mound of mash potatoes. The 
potatoes had a slight yellowish colour from the butter that was melted in them. Next 
to that was an equally large mound of peas. The young man's mouth began to water. So 
he grabbed a leg and began to devour it. The meat on the bone did not stand a chance. 
And soon the bone was stripped of all of its meat. Doom Groover was reaching for 
another piece when a mug of ale was placed on the table in front of him.
     Doom Groover looked up to see a man wearing a long black trench coat. In his 
mouth was a thick, dark coloured cigar. It was burning with a red tip at the end of 
its grey ash. He held a clear glass of dark amber liquid. Anyone across the room would 
think he had a glass of tea. One whiff of that glass would tell the true story. The 
liquor was popular among the citizens of Ghea. It was soon after Longshot came through 
a Chaos Gate almost three decades ago that he tried the liquor. The then young man 
claimed that they had a similar drink back on his plane. They called it bourbon there. 
The young man took such a liking to the liquor, he made a contract with Mino that he 
would be the first to buy any barrels or bottles that the old Minotaur might acquire 
on his "outings."
     "Mind if I sit down?" Longshot asked. Just as Doom Groover said 'no,' Longshot 
placed his glass on the table and his butt in the chair. Doom Groover slapped his 
hands on the table in frustration. His fork shot up briefly and came back down with a 
clatter. Some of the ale sloshed out of the mug and was quickly absorbed into the 
wooden table. All he wanted to do was to enjoy his meal in peace and be on his way. If 
the waitress was still around, he would try to get her to share his bed later tonight. 
But now he had this guy to deal with. Doom Groover knew who Longshot was and he knew 
about the monks who had rediscovered their religious roots.  
     "I'm not interested in your holy order," Doom Groover said and scooped a fork 
full of potatoes into his mouth. 
     "That is good because I am not trying to recruit you for their holy order. I have 
my own beliefs and the monks have theirs. They helped me a long time ago. In return, I 
help them train and get warriors into Lady Greywand's service. But my story isn't 
important. I am here to offer advice." Longshot waved his hand over the mug of ale. 
Doom Groover refused to touch it. Longshot shrugged his shoulders and took a drink 
from his glass. The amber liquid hit the back of his throat and burned all the way 
     "It appears your reputation is true" Longshot chuckled. Doom Groover was sitting 
with his arms folded now.  His face was in a scowl and he was ending mental order for 
the pushy manager to get away from his table. Longshot got the message loud and clear. 
He just wasn't going to leave. Not yet anyway.  "I'll make it quick. I can see you are 
having your dinner."
     Doom Grover did not reply. He sat and glared at the man. His lips had turned into 
a thin line of tension. Longshot noticed this too. He just ignored it. Instead, he 
took a long pull from his cigar, held it, and blew out. The old manager was courteous 
enough to blow the cloud away from the annoyed gladiator.
     "I saw what you wrote in the personal ads. First off, Porta was ecstatic that you 
used his phrase. 'Mega Spender'."
     Longshot couldn't help but laugh out loud at the thought of his old warrior 
running amuck in Arkers. Porta had earned the wrath of many in Arkers for his 
commentary. Ocean had told him about the angry mob of people chasing him home. After 
Porta went to the Isle, the Chosen made a campaign to improve relations with the city.
     "I just want to give you a heads up."
     Longshot saw Doom Groover about to protest. He could even tell what was going to 
be said.
     "Yes, I have no doubt you can handle yourself. But you are young and they are the 
Legion of the Butthurt. I don't think you have ever had the backlash that could be 
coming your way. I wouldn't be surprised if someone thinks I am your manager. That 
will be more fuel for it."
     Longshot chuckled again.
     "Anyway, don't let the words get to you. They will talk big. They will even 
insult you. But they won't do much else. I had a run-in with one of the Legion last 
year. Not only did he misunderstand my words, he then twisted it to make it seem I was 
in the wrong. You would wonder why someone would protest so much. What could make 
someone act so?"
     Longshot took a drink from his glass, swallowed, and then took another pull from 
his cigar. The smoke flowed from his mouth again.
     "Could it be he realised that he made a mistake and was embarrassed? Could it be 
he let his buddies swell his head with praise for his "funny" post and he was going 
for most shots? OR!!! Could it be the fact that I unintentionally hit a sore spot? 
Don't know the answer? Here is a hint. They sent thirty-two rookies to the last 
tourney. Unless he was running six to thirty-two new teams, I was right about him and 
I wasn't even trying."
     Doom Groover's mouth was hanging open in shock. "Thirty-two?!?!?! No wonder he 
was defensive."
     Longshot nodded. "So, stick to your guns. And if any of the Legion of the 
Butthurt get bold enough to attack you on the sand, send them home in a bag."
     He then left Doom Groover to his meal.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Busy, busy, busy, lots of things happening in ARKERS this turn, and let's start 
with a look at some of the teams.  It seems the training can make the difference, as 
NORTHERN BADLANDS is pushed out of top team by PEASANT REBELLION, who came from 10th 
with a 5-0-0 this turn.  Now keep the taverns open late tonight, for there are 
sorrows to drown for SERIOUS LEE, whose 1-4-1 this turn dropped them by 6 into 12th.  
And let's see, THE ANXIOUS MAN fought OUT OF SOAP and gained 19 points and 
contributed to HOYT FOUNDATION's 3-2-0.  OUT OF SOAP has lost to THE ANXIOUS MAN, 
falling 16 points, while helping make BASH BROS SHOWER a 1-4-0 turn.  LUCKY STRIKES 
challenged for the Duelmastership this turn, attempting to dethrone PEASANT 
REBELLION's warrior.  The attempts to dethrone the Duelmaster have failed, and SWEET 
REVENGE remains ARKERS' top warrior for another turn.  Can someone confirm a rumor 
for me?  I hear the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at The Dripping 
Blade until they win.  Maybe?   
     Oriental wise man once say, 'Hiding behind shields prevents proper sun tanning.' 
Inscrutable, but true.  BASH BROS SHOWER has cause to stand tall, as they were 
ARKERS' most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a team to beat.  And 
avoiding BASH BROS SHOWER more than any other team we find THE CHOSEN.  ARKERS, are 
we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?  The most challenged warrior this 
turn was THE CHOSEN's warrior ETON THE STALWART.  More fighters challenged him than 
challenged the Duelmaster!  Well now, what do you expect when someone like YRAH 
BANEWRECKER from THE CHOSEN challenges down 49 points to fight THE SHRIEKER of BORN 
LOSERS?  It pains me to see warriors take advantage of the system like this.  YRAH 
BANEWRECKER bested THE SHRIEKER, as if it surprises anyone.   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  You gotta do what you gotta do.  BLOODY HAND CLAN has sent STONEWALL to the 
Dark Arena.  The deed is done.  Lift the ale, and toast the memory.  Is it really 
true that ARKERS has more dishwashers per capita that fighters?  Just thought I'd 
     I like this place, ARKERS, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  Well, I'm burning daylight here in ARKERS and I've a long 
road ahead of me.  Happy Trails.  Until the sun next rises and my pen sets to paper-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SWEET REVENGE 5378           14   3  0   123       PEASANT REBELLION (614)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 YRAH BANEWRECKER 5527        13   4  3   126       THE CHOSEN (613)
 CLYDE D'CLUB 5376            14   3  0   114       PEASANT REBELLION (614)
-ZEST 5224                    31  10  1   112       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
-PLYMOUTH ROCK 5218           32   8  0   109       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 OL' GRIZ 4755                17  11  3   105       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
 TORCHBEARER TOM 5380         12   5  0   103       PEASANT REBELLION (614)
 PITCHFORK KID 5377            9   6  0   101       PEASANT REBELLION (614)
-MAYFLOWER 5235               24  11  0    99       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 LUCKY STRIKES 5426           14   6  0    98       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466          11  11  1    98       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DINGO MCGEE 5384             18  15  1    90       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 CUTTER CRITES 5555           11   6  1    88       BORN LOSERS (634)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PUNK CHILSNER 5549            8   1  2    87       BORN LOSERS (634)
 THE GYPSY 5587                9   6  2    86       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH 5610     10   3  0    81       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 GROUND SHEET 3725            12   7  2    77       MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)
 DAN QUEVOS 5544               7   5  0    77       BORN LOSERS (634)
 DEMON TALON 5456             12  14  1    74       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 THE SHRIEKER 5554             7   7  1    72       BORN LOSERS (634)
 ZOO 5236                     16  18  0    70       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
-LUCIFEROUS HOPE 5522         11  14  0    69       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 REAPER 5483                  12   8  0    68       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ZIRCONIUM 5493               12   3  0    66       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 THE ANXIOUS MAN 5589         11   7  1    66       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 KYRON FLEMING 5545            9   3  1    66       BORN LOSERS (634)
 PUGACHEV 5379                 9   7  0    66       PEASANT REBELLION (614)
 SITTING BULL 5638             6   3  0    66       SMITHSONIAN (245)
-ARIXIA 5512                   7   8  0    62       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 LUCKY DUCK 3826               6   4  1    59       MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)
 THUNDER SPRITE 5658           6   1  0    58       STEEL PROPHETS (615)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500          12   7  0    52       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
 GRIMM 5482                   12   8  0    50       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 UGLY KIDD JOE 4942           11   7  1    47       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
 STANDING WATER 5617           8   4  0    47       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
 ETON THE STALWART 5496       13   7  0    46       THE CHOSEN (613)
 MAYMES 5660                   5   1  0    45       LITTLE DUCKS (640)
 OUT OF SOAP 5282              9   7  0    44       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
 DEFENSIVE LEE 4062           12   5  0    43       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 PARIS TROUT 5591             10   9  0    43       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 HUMBLE LEE 4061               7   8  0    43       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 HALIN STORMBREAKER 5498       8  10  1    41       THE CHOSEN (613)
 SLOW DRAIN 5618               7   5  0    41       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
-ZIP IT 5537                   5   3  0    39       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 SEHWYN STEEL 5633             6   4  3    37       THE CHOSEN (613)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JHERI BLOOMERS 5643           5   5  0    33       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 AUDACIOUS LEE 5542            6   5  0    32       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 DOOM GROOVER 5667             4   2  0    32       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 JROSE 5661                    3   3  0    32       LITTLE DUCKS (640)
-CURLY BILL 5501               4   3  0    28       THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)
 KORSEN 5663                   3   3  0    28       LITTLE DUCKS (640)
-EGRIM 5510                    5   9  1    25       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
-BLACK BART 5682               3   0  0    25       THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)
 MAQURO DOOMAXE 5634           3   7  0    25       BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COLD 5640                     6   4  0    22       BASH BROS SHOWER (604)
 ACADIA GEM 5687               3   0  0    22       MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)
-JOHN HARDIN 5505              3   4  1    21       THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)
 HELGA LOARWEN 5632            4   7  1    20       THE CHOSEN (613)
-MALLAFAX 5508                 2   9  0    19       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
-TEXAS RED 5504                4   3  2    17       THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)
-JOHNNY RINGO 5502             3   4  0    13       THE OUTLAWS 2 (631)
 BOSTON TEA PARTY 5706         2   0  0    13       SMITHSONIAN (245)
 ZANY 5653                     3   3  0    12       Z GLADIATORZ (519)
 DOJES 5662                    3   3  0    12       LITTLE DUCKS (640)
 BARON VON SMASH 5071          3   2  0    11       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
 THE DEALER 5685               1   2  0     9       HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
 CRUEL LEE 5676                1   1  1     7       SERIOUS LEE (486)
 STEEL 5713                    1   0  1     6       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOUR SEASONS 5679             1   3  0     6       MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)
 MR. BOGUS 5718                1   0  0     5       STEEL PROPHETS (615)
 MAXIMUS BRUTALUS 5714         0   1  0     1       NORTHERN BADLANDS (397)
-BRACH GEIST 5703              0   1  0     1       BROKEN SPIRITS (632)
 MAYHEM 5712                   0   1  0     1       GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
 LONGIT 5704                   0   1  0     1       LITTLE DUCKS (640)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
WAITING FOR IT 5689     0  2 0 BASH BROS SHOWER 604 CRUEL LEE 5676        395   
STONEWALL 5494          9 12 0 BLOODY HAND CLAN 626 DARK CHAMPION         395  NONE
GUNTHER 5507            6  4 1 BROKEN SPIRITS 632   SEHWYN STEEL 5633     393   
DRULINDA 5621           4  7 0 GHOSTWALKERS 2 629   BLACK ORC             395  NONE
KLOBBERELLA 5651        3  4 0 GHOSTWALKERS 2 629   JOHN HARDIN 5505      394   
BILIRY 5664             1  3 0 LITTLE DUCKS 640     TEXAS RED 5504        393  REVENGED
FOOLISH LEE 2 5716      0  1 0 SERIOUS LEE 486      STEEL 5713            395   
URK DEATHBROW 3416      0  1 0 WARLORDS 421         TEXAS RED 5504        391  NOT REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Zowie! Z'z be 3-1!  Fantaztic! -- The Z Man

Mallofax, of Broken Zpiritz, yu zuck! -- Zip It

Clyde D'Club, and you thought this waz a Country Club. I buzted that notion, pal. -- 

Halin Ztormbreaker, yu Halin, me ztorm. Yu monkey, me rhino. -- Zoo

Maquro, that waz mean of you. -- Zany

Z'z be bezt. Otherz be dump. -- The Z Man

Congrats to Duelmaster Sweet Revenge. If you can beat big tobacco, you deserve the 
Title. -- Curator

Waiting For It, ha ha, I got there first! -- Boston Tea Party

Sweet Revenge, I plan to get it. You will see! I will smoke you! -- Lucky Strikes

Demon Talon, yeah, you go to sea for a hundred days on a rickety wooden floating hut 
and you will see what being a demon means. -- Mayflower

Torchbearer Tom, Sitting Bull deserved better than that! What's wrong with you? -- The 
Smithsonian Publicist

Health. Humility. Honor. -- Curator

Zany -- Who yoos callin' "Butsag"? My butt is round like a pumpkin. I can even do da 
twerkinz like da young 'uns do. Watch dis.. er.. Yoos might wanna take a step or two 
back. -- Gutsag Bakwort

Defensive Lee -- You are going to be in a lot of trouble for that. I am not allowed to 
tell what will happen to you.  Let's just say your cat will be tasty next to a mound 
of potatoes. -- Stonewall

Zany -- Those were some spiffingly spiffing hits, roysh. And you, one's old bean, 
seemed to love to teach skills.  One appreciates that. One hopes our next match goes 
the same. Ah win and ah lot of skills for myself. hurreay! Heavens above! How 
smashing! Until then! -- Maquro Doomaxe

Ground Sheet -- Do dey call ya Ground Sheet "cause ya spend so much time on ya back? 
-- Eadskar Da'Bad

Honest Merchant -- Hur hur hur. Go back ta sellin' doilies. -- Ded 'Ard

Grimm -- Yoos run from Eadskar turn afta turn, but wuz bold enuff ta tangle wid me. 
Betcha wont do dat agin. Hur hur hur hur hur! -- Gutsag Bakwort

Standing Water -- Ma namez 'ard ta spell? Watz wrong? Yoos cant spell? Are yoos hooked 
on Fonics? Maybe dat shot ta yoos melon 'ead rattled sumthin. -- Eadskar Da'Bad

Zoo -- Riddle me this; how do you lose every minute, get smacked around, and still 
"unbelievably best" me? Who are you bribing? -- Halin

Pitchfork Kid- You boys have been around since Turn 358. Back then Steel Prophets were 
2-2-0, Porta Fortress was a pain in the arena's butt with a 12-3-0 record, and there 
were only seven teams in the arena.  Most of the guys who fought you back then only 
had one fight under their belt. Those same people have over twenty fights and have 
moved onto the Isle. Why are you still here? -- Yrah Banewrecker

Audacious Lee -- How can such a weakling deal so much damage? -- Helga Loarwen

Out of Soap -- I was actually expecting a Blood Feud from Broken Spirits. You were 
also my second choice as far as challenges went. I didn't think the down challenge was 
so bad since you have more fights than me.  Despite it all, I almost had you. Way to 
steal the initiative. -- Sehwyn Steel

Lucky Duck -- Sorry about that. I needed an opponent and I miss counted how far down 
you were. In all fairness, it was only three points, but for some reason I thought it 
was one. Until next time. -- Eton

For your Yuletide bloodletting pleasure, sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland."

                          Slay bells ring, are ya listenin'?
                        Beneath the moon, blood is glistenin'!
                         A grisly sight, we're happy tonight,
                         Watchin' all the Dark Arena fights!

                       In the daytime we can catch the action,
                         as the Duelmaster defends his crown!
                         All the criticals and bloody drama,
                     and if you're nasty you can challenge down!

                              Later on, by tavern fire,
                             managers, they'll conspire,
                        to face unafraid, the challenges made,
                            Duelin' in that Alastari land!

Wishing all good D2 managers a Happy Holidays!

                                          -- Stik and Grim Fandango of Sunset

Sehwynn Steel -- Coward.  Makes Assur more than a bit pleased to see me put you down.  
You're lucky he doesn't change his attitude towards killing even for such as you! -- 
Out of Soap

Boston Tea Party -- WHAT!?!  You can't bring the Tea Party into the arena!!!  The only 
surprise is that you didn't shoot to the top of the popularity charts. -- Assur

Thunder Sprite -- Guess I just have to turn it down even more so even sprites feel 
the... -- Cold

EGrim -- I am a test.  I am only a test.  If I had been a real warrior, you would have 
known it and I would have been using weapons more suitable to my style. -- Slow Drain

Ugly Kid Joe -- Fortunately, you have a face a mother can love. -- Standing Water

Eadskar -- With an attitude like that, perhaps I'll whip up some of the worst standing 
water known to the planet, putting nasties in it that will cause even your remains to 
be destroyed. -- Standing Water

Luciferous Hope -- Not much hope there son. Not even a little... -- Ol 'Griz

Standing Water -- We wont be forgetting you mud puddle. -- Ugly Kidd Joe

Dingo Mcgee -- It wasn't supposed to be you, I wanted Lucky Strikes, that was 
disappointing...! -- TImber Walker

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

STONEWALL was viciously butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
DRULINDA was slaughtered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
YRAH BANEWRECKER demolished THE SHRIEKER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
LUCKY STRIKES was bested by SWEET REVENGE in a 2 minute Challenge Title contest.
PUNK CHILSNER was defeated by PITCHFORK KID in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
THE GYPSY slimly lost to OL' GRIZ in a popular 2 minute expert's Challenge brawl.
ZOO was savagely defeated by DAN QUEVOS in a 3 minute master's Challenge brawl.
DED 'ARD SKULLKRUSH won victory over REAPER in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
LUCKY DUCK vanquished SEHWYN STEEL in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
GUTSAG BAKWORT unbelievably bested HUMBLE LEE in a popular 5 minute Challenge fight.
THE ANXIOUS MAN handily defeated OUT OF SOAP in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
KYRON FLEMING demolished DEFENSIVE LEE in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge match.
PUGACHEV devastated ETON THE STALWART in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
DOOM GROOVER handily defeated DOJES in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
KORSEN won victory over COLD in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge bout.
CRUEL LEE dispatched WAITING FOR IT in a 1 minute novice's Challenge fray.
TORCHBEARER TOM devastated GROUND SHEET in a popular 1 minute brutal mismatched brawl.
CUTTER CRITES was demolished by CLYDE D'CLUB in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
EADSKAR DA'BAD overpowered DEMON TALON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched fight.
DINGO MCGEE savagely defeated SITTING BULL in a action packed 3 minute brutal fight.
UGLY KIDD JOE overpowered MAQURO DOOMAXE in a 1 minute gruesome uneven fray.
GRIMM bested HALIN STORMBREAKER in a 2 minute veteran's bout.
ZIRCONIUM overpowered STANDING WATER in a 3 minute uneven fight.
AUDACIOUS LEE was beaten by MAYMES in a action packed 1 minute fight.
THUNDER SPRITE overpowered PARIS TROUT in a 3 minute one-sided bout.
SLOW DRAIN vanquished HELGA LOARWEN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BARON VON SMASH was handily defeated by JROSE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
JHERI BLOOMERS overpowered ZANY in a 1 minute uneven competition.
BOSTON TEA PARTY savagely defeated MAYHEM in a action packed 1 minute novice's fight.
FOUR SEASONS was defeated by THE DEALER in a 1 minute novice's match.
ACADIA GEM overpowered LONGIT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
STEEL killed FOOLISH LEE 2 in a crowd pleasing 5 minute novice's fray.
MAXIMUS BRUTALUS lost to MR. BOGUS in a 3 minute amateur's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  14         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         TOTAL PARRY       52 -  44 -  1      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         SLASHING ATTACK   51 -  46 -  1      53  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         STRIKING ATTACK   34 -  33 -  5      51  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         AIMED BLOW        40 -  40 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         LUNGING ATTACK    35 -  37 -  4      49  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    61 -  70 -  3      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  24 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  17 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  24 -  0      40  |

Turn 395 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        4 -  6         3  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    6 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  3     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         2  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         3 -  3                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     7 -  7                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       SWEET REVENGE 5378         14   3  0  123 PEASANT REBELLION (614)
BASHING ATTACK   CLYDE D'CLUB 5376          14   3  0  114 PEASANT REBELLION (614)
LUNGING ATTACK   PITCHFORK KID 5377          9   6  0  101 PEASANT REBELLION (614)
WALL OF STEEL    GROUND SHEET 3725          12   7  2   77 MERCENARY WARCKERS (411)
TOTAL PARRY      ZIRCONIUM 5493             12   3  0   66 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
PARRY-STRIKE     PUGACHEV 5379               9   7  0   66 PEASANT REBELLION (614)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    GRIMM 5482                 12   8  0   50 GHOSTWALKERS 2 (629)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is OL' GRIZ 4755.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was DAN QUEVOS 5544.  The ten other most popular fighters were HUMBLE LEE 4061, DINGO 
5663, LUCKY STRIKES 5426, EADSKAR DA'BAD 5466, and GRIMM 5482.

The least popular fighter this week was FOUR SEASONS 5679.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ZANY 5653, BARON VON SMASH 5071, HELGA LOARWEN 5632, PARIS 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:



For those of you who keep track of such things, several additional warriors 
graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. 

                       MALCOLM X (5-2496) BLACK BULLDOGS  (11) 
                       GO WEST (82-40489) ROOKIE CULT 3  (6754) 
                  THUNDERBIRD (82-30981) THIRSTY THUGS 0415  (5090) 
                 LBA DOMINATION (82-11488) NO-SO ROYAL RUMBLE  (1672) 
                     SSG 4 (84-18771) MEDAL OF HONOR D11  (3333) 
                     ROONEY (84-35472) THIRSTY THUGS 1308  (6203) 
                     ROBBER (84-35428) THIRSTY THUGS 1307  (6194) 
                         TOBIAS BEECHER (65-5035) OZ 2  (556) 

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes