DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 02/22/2018 Duedate: 03/21/2018
ARKERS ARENA
DM-8 TURN-422
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
HALIN STORMBREAKER
THE CHOSEN (613)
(8-5498) [18-21-1,124]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
HALIN STORMBREAKER POSITION IS EMPTY
THE CHOSEN (613)
(8-5498) [18-21-1,124]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
HUMBLE LEE JHERI BLOOMERS
SERIOUS LEE (486) HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
(8-4061) [18-21-0,105] (8-5643) [16-19-3,118]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
SMITHSONIAN (245)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. THE CHOSEN (613) 70
2. SMITHSONIAN (245) 57 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
3. HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 44 Unchartered Team
4. BOOK OF THOMAS (411) 17
5. SERIOUS LEE (486) 10 BLACK JACK HAMMER (526)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 349 188 9 65.0 1/ 3 SMITHSONIAN (245) 10 2 0
2/ 2 SMITHSONIAN (245) 829 497 18 62.5 2/ 1 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) 10 5 0
3/ 3 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) 130 98 6 57.0 3/ 4 THE CHOSEN (613) 9 6 1
4/ 4 THE CHOSEN (613) 308 291 21 51.4 4/ 2 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 9 6 1
5/ 5 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 123 120 11 50.6 5/ 7 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) 6 2 2
6/ 6 SERIOUS LEE (486) 75 77 2 49.3 6/ 5 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 5 6 0
7/ 7 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) 110 140 9 44.0 7/ 6 SERIOUS LEE (486) 3 3 0
8/ 9 FOREST GARDEN (642) 21 34 2 38.2 8/ 9 FOREST GARDEN (642) 1 5 0
9/10 THE TRAVELERS (639) 17 56 0 23.3 9/ 8 THE TRAVELERS (639) 1 11 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.
I am Zirconium, a steel-gray hard ductile metallic element with a high
melting point that occurs widely in combined form (as in zircon), is
highly resistant to corrosion, and is used especially in alloys and in
refractories and ceramics. I am also Duelmaster. (For the second
time.) So, don't mess with me or you may find yourself melded into an
alloy or fired and flattened to a dinner plate.
Z is for Zirconium --- DMII
SPY REPORT
Greetings, warriors of ARKERS! Once again I've been called out of retirement
for my abilities and insights into Spyreporting. Bein' on top is great while it
lasts, BLOODY HAND CLAN. But how many friends do you have now? BOOK OF THOMAS
showed ARKERS what they were made of as they fought with a vengeance to walk off with
3-1-2. What's with EIGER THE HARDY? He actually beat SERIOUS LEE's DEFENSIVE LEE,
and walked away with 22 more points from the fight. Laughs were big at SMITHSONIAN
while they watched PILGRIM clobber THE BEGGAR. He lost 13 points and got bruised
from objects thrown from the stands. Apparently ARKERS isn't filled with as many
gutless wonders as I thought. The Dreaded Duelmaster got 5 challenges this turn!
Another fighter (HALIN STORMBREAKER 18-21-1) challenged another Duelmaster (ZIRCONIUM
25-10-0). Life goes on. I'm sure ARKERS is excited about HALIN STORMBREAKER, the
new Duelmaster from THE CHOSEN. (remember?) But when you've seen as many as I
have... I suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow
fighters? Tough!
No matter the time or place, men will always duel. The most avoided team was
HOYT FOUNDATION. Management must be dealin', as the boys at THE CHOSEN ain't
reelin'! HOYT FOUNDATION's mad! Fighting is a better craft than farming, JHERI
BLOOMERS, but you have to pay your dues. Being challenged by GUTSAG BAKWORT, 22
points above you, is dues. GUTSAG BAKWORT's gonna be practicin' hard this week,
after JHERI BLOOMERS, lower ranked by far, mashed him! Taunt your opponent ZULU!
That was my lucky charm when I was unfairly challenged. (and by 19 points!) 'ACKY
GIT should have an easy win. 'ACKY GIT overcame ZULU. BLOODY HAND CLAN calls this
fighting? In my day... TOOTHLESS LOVE didn't quite know what to make of a challenge
she received from BUFFALO ROAMS of SMITHSONIAN, who is 20 points below her. BUFFALO
ROAMS perhaps got its just desserts, seeing as it defeated TOOTHLESS LOVE and ended
up with 25 recognition points.
A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing. Some fighters
don't accept this. The best do. GUTSAG BAKWORT of BLOODY HAND CLAN didn't know when
to quit. When you've got a 24-20-0, that's a good sign. Now he's dead. AMAZON
QUEEN, with hers forgettable 4-12-0, was killed by SCRAP METAL in a forgettable
match. THE TRAVELERS didn't seem to mind very much. Is it my imagination, or are
fighters getting younger every day? To die so young, so gloriously!
Who knows what the future holds for a warrior. More fights, there's no doubt.
Are you as tired of reading this as I am of writing it? Actually, I guess I'm
writing it before you read it. Oh, well. Remember--a good fighter needs both good
skills and good luck. Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
HALIN STORMBREAKER 5498 18 21 1 124 THE CHOSEN (613)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
JHERI BLOOMERS 5643 16 19 3 118 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
THE DEALER 5685 16 12 1 108 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
HUMBLE LEE 4061 18 21 0 105 SERIOUS LEE (486)
-GROUND SHEET 3725 15 11 2 103 BOOK OF THOMAS (411)
EIGER THE HARDY 5811 14 2 0 99 THE CHOSEN (613)
'ACKY GIT 5814 11 3 1 99 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
DEFENSIVE LEE 4062 28 12 0 96 SERIOUS LEE (486)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ZIRCONIUM 5493 25 10 0 90 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
-CRUEL LEE 5676 10 7 2 86 SERIOUS LEE (486)
UGARG SNOTSNIK 5815 13 2 0 85 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
MAUD STONEGUT 5721 14 10 2 82 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ZULU 5817 5 5 0 71 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
PILGRIM 5842 8 2 0 66 SMITHSONIAN (245)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
RAL STORMBREAKER 5786 10 9 0 56 THE CHOSEN (613)
THE BEGGAR 5848 6 3 0 49 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
WILY GIT 5844 7 1 0 46 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
BASKETEER 5749 6 3 1 43 FOREST GARDEN (642)
GETTYSBURG 5854 4 0 0 43 SMITHSONIAN (245)
-ZOMBIE 5823 5 4 1 39 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
GOLD RUSH 5851 3 2 1 35 SMITHSONIAN (245)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-MYSTERIOUS LEE 5729 5 2 0 33 SERIOUS LEE (486)
HODGE PODGE 5790 2 1 0 33 BOOK OF THOMAS (411)
ZEPHYR 5824 6 6 0 32 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
HAL THE CRAZED 5858 2 0 1 31 THE CHOSEN (613)
PIP SQUEAK 5789 3 0 1 27 BOOK OF THOMAS (411)
LORD SHADOW 5627 5 11 0 26 THE TRAVELERS (639)
BUFFALO ROAMS 5855 2 2 0 25 SMITHSONIAN (245)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SCRAP METAL 5758 3 2 1 23 BOOK OF THOMAS (411)
SHAWNDO 5853 5 1 0 22 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
LADY SMOKE 5665 2 8 0 18 THE TRAVELERS (639)
TOOTHLESS LOVE 5847 4 5 0 17 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
ALAMARAYANE 5652 2 10 0 16 THE TRAVELERS (639)
ZUCCHINI 5859 1 0 0 13 Z GLADIATORZ (519)
-GENERAL LEE 5796 0 2 0 10 SERIOUS LEE (486)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500 24 20 0 BLOODY HAND CLAN 626 JHERI BLOOMERS 5643 422
TROUBADOUR 5840 1 1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 411 HAL THE CRAZED 5858 422
ONL CERL 5856 2 2 0 THE CHOSEN 613 PIP SQUEAK 5789 422
AMAZON QUEEN 5629 4 12 0 THE TRAVELERS 639 SCRAP METAL 5758 422
PERSONAL ADS
Har, har! Zis Zirconium ve Duelmazter! Yah. Z's ve gut! -- The Zee Man
Congratulations to the diamond-in-the-rough, Zirconiun. If a Z Gladiator had to be
Duelmaster, it is best that it was a gem. -- Curator
Also, congrats to our own Smithsonian, Gold Rush, who TV'd last month in Tempe. Way to
go, Champ! -- Curator
Troubadour, not only can you sing, but you can fight! If you keep that up, there will
be no buffalo left. -- Buffalo Roams
Virtuous Scribe and Ambitious Guard, thanks for being there to give us work outs and
wins. -- Gold Rush and Pilgrim
Hey, a big welcome back to Papaiz. Glad to have seen you again at The Face. May your
time back in Arkers be fun and fruitful. -- Curator, Smithsonian (Consortium
affiliated)
Health. Humility. Honor. Arkers Always. -- Curator
"Sleazee Come..." was top unchartered team, eh? Vandal slander, I tell you! Wait...
that's a good name for a warrior! -- Slander Vandal
Zombie -- Oh! Too slow! Sorry, no brains at this picnic! That means you, "No
Brains"! -- Basketeer
Well of course Maud Stonegut was teh favorite! There's so much of her to like! --
Sadal Blender
Lady Smoke -- Perhaps I was a bit too ambitious in my challenge. But I got what I
wanted. Until next time. -- Onl Cerl
All hail, Zirconium. Duelmaster of Arkers.-
Zirconoum -- We should know if you still hold the title by now. You are a hard nut to
crack. -- Halin Stormbreaker.
Gold Rush -- No no, sir. You are good. And that is what scares me. -- Onl Cerl
Virginal Concubine -- Heh... Come back, Virginal Porcupine. I am tryin' ta get a kill.
Heh... Heeere porcupine... Hehehehehehehe... Heeere porcupine... Hehehehehehe... At
least it won't be as bad as when I went skunk huntin'. Hehehehehe... Porcupines are
cuddly. Skunks smell. Blue Whack-a-Do! -- 'Acky Git
Defensive Lee -- Yoos nearly lost ta me. And yoos called Ugarg a welt? *** Turns and
looks off to the side*** Wat? He said wat? Wilt? Welch? W-H-E-L-... Listen! Stop wid
da spellin'. Ya know I ain't good wid dat. -- Maud "Too Sexy" Stonegut
Defensive Lee -- Hur hur hur. Yoos got beat up by a boat. -- Ugarg Snotsnik
Veteran Mercenary -- Tanks fer da win. Now, when do I get ma invite? I wanna be
immortill too. -- Gutsag
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
GOLD RUSH devastated LORD SHADOW in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
GUTSAG BAKWORT was viciously butchered by JHERI BLOOMERS in a 5 minute battle.
HALIN STORMBREAKER vanquished ZIRCONIUM in a 2 minute Challenge Title brawl.
'ACKY GIT overpowered ZULU in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
PILGRIM devastated THE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BASKETEER was bested by RAL STORMBREAKER in a 2 minute Challenge match.
SHAWNDO slimly won victory over ALAMARAYANE in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
HAL THE CRAZED assassinated TROUBADOUR in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
ONL CERL was dispatched by PIP SQUEAK in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
BUFFALO ROAMS overpowered TOOTHLESS LOVE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
DEFENSIVE LEE was outlasted by EIGER THE HARDY in a dull 29 minute one-sided fight.
HUMBLE LEE savagely defeated UGARG SNOTSNIK in a exciting 4 minute one-sided fight.
THE DEALER handily defeated MAUD STONEGUT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
WILY GIT bested ZEPHYR in a 1 minute bout.
GETTYSBURG handily defeated FRATSFA MERCENARY in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
AMAZON QUEEN was dispatched by SCRAP METAL in a 1 minute bout.
LADY SMOKE was handily defeated by HODGE PODGE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
ZUCCHINI overpowered SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK 6 SLASHING ATTACK 23 - 6 - 2 79 |
|BASHING ATTACK 6 WALL OF STEEL 15 - 6 - 1 71 |
|TOTAL PARRY 5 TOTAL PARRY 36 - 23 - 0 61 |
|AIMED BLOW 4 LUNGING ATTACK 14 - 10 - 2 58 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 15 - 14 - 1 52 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 31 - 32 - 2 49 |
|WALL OF STEEL 3 PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 8 - 0 43 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 BASHING ATTACK 21 - 33 - 0 39 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 - 0 33 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 5 - 0 17 |
Turn 422 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
SLASHING ATTACK 3 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 4 4 TOTAL PARRY
AIMED BLOW 3 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 5 2 WALL OF STEEL
LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 1 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 2 STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 4 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 2 - 1 1 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 1 SLASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK THE DEALER 5685 16 12 1 108 HOYT FOUNDATION (636)
TOTAL PARRY EIGER THE HARDY 5811 14 2 0 99 THE CHOSEN (613)
SLASHING ATTACK 'ACKY GIT 5814 11 3 1 99 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
BASHING ATTACK MAUD STONEGUT 5721 14 10 2 82 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
STRIKING ATTACK PILGRIM 5842 8 2 0 66 SMITHSONIAN (245)
AIMED BLOW WILY GIT 5844 7 1 0 46 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626)
PARRY-LUNGE BASKETEER 5749 6 3 1 43 FOREST GARDEN (642)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is HUMBLE LEE 4061. The most popular warrior this turn
was JHERI BLOOMERS 5643. The ten other most popular fighters were HUMBLE LEE 4061,
HALIN STORMBREAKER 5498, RAL STORMBREAKER 5786, SHAWNDO 5853, PIP SQUEAK 5789, HODGE
PODGE 5790, ALAMARAYANE 5652, THE DEALER 5685, GOLD RUSH 5851, and GUTSAG BAKWORT
5500.
The least popular fighter this week was EIGER THE HARDY 5811. The other ten least
popular fighters were DEFENSIVE LEE 4062, LADY SMOKE 5665, TOOTHLESS LOVE 5847, ONL
CERL 5856, TROUBADOUR 5840, BASKETEER 5749, THE BEGGAR 5848, ZULU 5817, ZIRCONIUM
5493, and LORD SHADOW 5627.
The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:
HALIN STORMBREAKER (8-5498) THE CHOSEN (613)
DEFENSIVE LEE (8-4062) SERIOUS LEE (486)
SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
We have planned our summer FTF for July 13-15, 2018, in Arlington, Virginia, only 7
miles on a quick Metro ride from Washington, D.C.!. It will be held at the Holiday
Inn Arlington at Ballston. Room rates are $79 per night on 7/12 and 7/15 and $129 on
7/13 and 7/14, 1-2 occupancy. There's free wireless throughout the property as well
as a fitness center, outdoor pool, and business center, as well as a resturant and bar
inside the hotel. There is no airport shuttle and parking is $7/day. The rooms are
blocked -- ask for the Reality Simulations block. Reservations must be made by 6/12.
(As always if you have issues making reservations, please let us know!)
Hotel site: http://www.hiarlington.com
Look for the tournament info sheet and minioverviews some time in June. We hope
you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!
-- RSI
Mission to the Twisted Lands
Episode One
Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his
shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant,
Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently
toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot
springs in it.
Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And
the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So,
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful
profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That
explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme,
which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet,
though.
They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently
frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind
him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted
the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those
bozos."
As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some
with swords and some with halberds.
"Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
"Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old
Brown's butt.
"Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
"So have you," the guard continued.
"Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.
"Who are you guys?"
"We are the Queen's Guard."
"What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find
the ***holes that shot him."
"Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the
assailants."
"Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My
HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of
geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs
and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat
Langerman. And you are?"
"Keel Woodhaven."
"I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you."
"That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail
which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made
weren't too noticeable.
Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though.
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and
signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies...
personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses,
even.
There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
"Yup."
"Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint
greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts,
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch
from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to
reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged
it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged,
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an
alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against
the wall.
"Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
"Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
"I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think
there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured
arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?"
They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
"What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."
He listened. "Your guys are coming back."
"Yeah."
The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at
least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old
Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely
handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be
good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty
well.
The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair,
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat.
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
"Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close
together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly
handsome Guardsmen.
Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse."
"Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you."
"Why?"
"Glowing sword."
"What?"
"Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured
we could sell it so we followed you."
The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow.
And cut things."
The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic."
"Ain't. Sorry kid."
After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and
luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her
appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart
belonged to another, always and forever.
* * * * *
This is a continuing adventure.
Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!