DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 08/09/2018 Duedate: 09/05/2018 ARKERS ARENA DM-8 TURN-428 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS MISS COMMUNE KATE LADIES IN WAITING (115) (8-4118) [17-12-0,106] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader MISS COMMUNE KATE CHES-PAYNE LADIES IN WAITING (115) GIT'EM SICK (657) (8-4118) [17-12-0,106] (8-5892) [1-0-0,16] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite MISS COMMUNE KATE GOLD RUSH LADIES IN WAITING (115) SMITHSONIAN (245) (8-4118) [17-12-0,106] (8-5851) [8-3-1,98] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM LADIES IN WAITING (115) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. TAC (105) 45 2. GIT'EM SICK (657) 42 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 3. BOOK OF THOMAS (411) 21 Unchartered Team 4. Z GLADIATORZ (519) 20 5. THE TRAVELERS (639) 3 GIT'EM SICK (657) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*GIT'EM SICK (657) 5 0 0 100 1/ 2 LADIES IN WAITING (115) 8 7 1 2/ 1 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 365 192 10 65.5 2/ 9 TAC (105) 8 7 0 3/ 2 SMITHSONIAN (245) 841 506 19 62.4 3- 1 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 7 3 1 4- 3 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) 139 104 6 57.2 4/ 3 Z GLADIATORZ (519) 7 3 0 5/ 4 LADIES IN WAITING (115) 327 270 13 54.8 5/ 4 SMITHSONIAN (245) 7 5 1 6- 5 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) 139 129 13 51.9 6/ 5 OTHERWOOD (642) 6 9 0 7- 6 THE CHOSEN (613) 316 299 22 51.4 7/ 0*GIT'EM SICK (657) 5 0 0 8/ 7 SERIOUS LEE (486) 80 82 2 49.4 8/10 THE TRAVELERS (639) 4 10 0 9/ 9 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) 116 153 9 43.1 9/11 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) 3 6 0 10/ 8 OTHERWOOD (642) 35 49 2 41.7 10/ 7 SERIOUS LEE (486) 2 2 0 11/10 TAC (105) 20 29 1 40.8 11- 6 THE CHOSEN (613) 2 2 0 12/11 THE TRAVELERS (639) 24 76 0 24.0 12- 8 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) 1 3 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. <div dir="ltr">Sit ye back, gentle reader, and allow me to avail ye of yet another tale of Little Damage woe.<div><br></div><div>I was born under a favorable star, during a gentle summer zephyr, in the midst of a most abundant harvest.B Every sign, from the "M" on my right palm, to the proper knobbiness of my head, bespoke of future success.</div><div><br></div><div>I was a star of the junior gladiator league.B The star.B My records still stand.B Wielding wooden swords, and armor padded sufficiently to prevent the break of young bones, I was ranked #1 in every age class, though I always fought against older, stronger competition.</div><div><br></div><div>I was fast!B I was accurate!B I could trip you up, or knock your weapon out of your hand with a dexterous whip of the wrist.B And I couldn't be hit.B I wish I could have watched myself; I'm sure I was amazing.</div><div><br></div><div>Finally, at the tender age of 16, I was allowed to participate in the magical ritual known as The Overview.B That's when my troubles began.</div><div><br></div><div>"Parry-Lunge?!?B I've never even HEARD of that.B I'm a Ripper, through and through!"B Apparently, though, being underage, I wasn't allowed to select my style.B My manager had recently met Donatello II, and was SO impressed (and with an apparent desire to become the next Mirage, as if that was ever even a possibility) the paperwork was filed</div><div><br></div><div>Rated a mere 13 on ST (a travesty!) and only measuring SZ 4, I was told I did "Little" damage.B No problem, my manager assured me, we'll train you out of that.B One ST bump should do it.B But alas, my friends, one ST bump did NOT do it!<br></div><div><br></div><div>I naturally assumed I'd continue to train ST until I was awarded "Normal" damage, but my manager (shout out to Bruce Lee!) would hear none of it.B "You'll burn an Attack AND a Parry skill.B Unthinkable in one with your potential."B I don't know what he meant by burn, but it didn't sound like something I wanted to participate in, so I acquiesced.B B </div><div><br></div><div>While I continued to be hard to hit, Bruce tried to teach me a new way to fight.B Bruce called it "Cutting Down the Tree."B I preferred that to his other famous technique, "Eating the Elephant."B Still, I found cutting down the tree to be exhausting.B And when the Muddy Hand Clan moved in, with their enormous trunks and apparent lack of nerve endings, well ...</div><div><br></div><div>So it took me 43 fights to graduate.B That's more than twice as long as expected, and even longer than Defensive Lee who was SUPPOSED to be my wing-man.B Turns out I was the wing man.</div><div><br></div><div>The good news is, I'm well bonused, so I won't be retiring.B At least, that's what Bruce Lee tells me.B According to D.Lee, retirement (along with immortality) is just what the doctor ordered.B Free room and board until the Chaos Gates return.</div><div><br></div><div>Toodles, Arkers.B See you on the Isle.</div><div><br></div><div>PS I think I'm going to miss the Muddy Hand Orcs (or Goblins, or Kobolds, or whatever they are) the most.B For all their lack of social graces, they pay for Midori Sours like nobody's business and THAT counts for a lot in my book.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div> SPY REPORT Oh, hi. Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte. Thought I'd check out ARKERS to see what's new. Like, HOYT FOUNDATION had to be so embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by LADIES IN WAITING! Way to go LADIES IN WAITING! I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings or anything, but THE CHOSEN really goofed with their 0-0-0. TAC like really fought hard to move up to 2nd from 9th. Way to go! I talked to GIT'EM SICK's manager before the fights. He said, "We're gonna do good." And look at this: 5-0-0! Psychic, or what! MVP award for CHUSMI? TAC's proud of him after beating GETTYSBURG and getting 22 points. Talk about yer big time losers! GETTYSBURG got smashed by CHUSMI, and lost 17 points! The Duelmaster isn't going to stop just cause she's Number One! MOUNTAIN TROLL knows this. He was Dark Arena Challenged by the Duelmaster. The crowds were amazed this turn, as MOUNTAIN TROLL killed the Duelmaster, HUMBLE LEE, leaving SERIOUS LEE in mourning. MISS COMMUNE KATE gets to be new Duelmaster. But doesn't this mean people might try to kill her, too? Is the Duelmaster really being a real snob to his teammates? Don't ask me! So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway? It can't be for these really neat Spyreports can it? The warriors of HOYT FOUNDATION must be getting lonely. They were the most avoided team. Do you guys know something that I don't? Is there some deep dark secret why Z GLADIATORZ's been avoiding HOYT FOUNDATION so much? Or is it just that they're too scared? Can BOOK OF THOMAS' HODGE PODGE be more popular than me? He was challenged the most, but is that really the same? Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds. All ARKERS ever talks about is fighting! Me, I'm more laid back. Fight, fight, fight. Is that all you guys can do? I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid. Who would've guessed I'd be a famous Spyreporter? I gotta leave. ARKERS is like such a dump, and you guys smell too much! I had a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MISS COMMUNE KATE 4118 17 12 0 106 LADIES IN WAITING (115) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -THE BEGGAR 5848 9 5 0 109 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) -GROUND SHEET 3725 16 11 2 105 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) -UGARG SNOTSNIK 5815 17 2 0 104 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) -GUTSAG BAKWORT 5500 27 20 0 101 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) -'ACKY GIT 5814 11 3 1 99 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) GOLD RUSH 5851 8 3 1 98 SMITHSONIAN (245) -EIGER THE HARDY 5811 16 4 0 93 THE CHOSEN (613) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -JHERI BLOOMERS 5643 19 21 3 90 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) ZOMBIE 5823 8 4 1 82 Z GLADIATORZ (519) -MAUD STONEGUT 5721 14 14 2 80 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) MISS CONSTRUED 4419 10 14 0 78 LADIES IN WAITING (115) -RAL STORMBREAKER 5786 13 10 0 71 THE CHOSEN (613) ZULU 5817 5 6 0 69 Z GLADIATORZ (519) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ZEPHYR 5824 11 7 0 61 Z GLADIATORZ (519) -TOOTHLESS LOVE 5847 7 7 0 61 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) PILGRIM 5842 10 6 0 59 SMITHSONIAN (245) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CHESHIRE MOON 5749 9 6 1 55 OTHERWOOD (642) CHUSMI 756 6 3 0 48 TAC (105) ZUCCHINI 5859 6 0 1 47 Z GLADIATORZ (519) HODGE PODGE 5790 5 4 0 43 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) -MYSTERIOUS LEE 5729 6 2 0 41 SERIOUS LEE (486) -WILY GIT 5844 9 3 0 38 BLOODY HAND CLAN (626) GETTYSBURG 5854 6 2 0 37 SMITHSONIAN (245) -SHAWNDO 5853 7 4 0 36 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) MISS MATCHED 4709 5 6 0 35 LADIES IN WAITING (115) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SMI CHU 755 4 5 1 33 TAC (105) -HAL THE CRAZED 5858 2 1 1 33 THE CHOSEN (613) PAT BUR 754 6 4 0 28 TAC (105) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -DEATH LEASER 5881 3 0 2 28 HOYT FOUNDATION (636) MISS PLACED 4723 4 4 0 27 LADIES IN WAITING (115) -PIP SQUEAK 5789 3 0 1 27 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BUFFALO ROAMS 5855 2 3 0 23 SMITHSONIAN (245) SNAKE EYES 5888 2 0 0 23 THE TRAVELERS (639) SCRAP METAL 5758 5 6 1 22 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) THISTLE MAN 5862 4 2 0 21 OTHERWOOD (642) TREE ANEMONE 5863 4 2 0 17 OTHERWOOD (642) -GENERAL LEE 5796 1 2 0 17 SERIOUS LEE (486) CHES-PAYNE 5892 1 0 0 16 GIT'EM SICK (657) HAWK 753 1 9 0 14 TAC (105) Q2 5896 1 1 0 14 TAC (105) -ROSE BOWL 5884 2 0 1 12 SMITHSONIAN (245) VAMPYRILLA 5865 2 3 0 11 THE TRAVELERS (639) -ALBUS BONERATTLER 5874 2 2 1 10 THE CHOSEN (613) WILLA THE MIST 5861 2 4 0 10 OTHERWOOD (642) RUNI-NOZE 5895 1 0 0 9 GIT'EM SICK (657) PYNK-EYE 5893 1 0 0 7 GIT'EM SICK (657) COMYN-KOLD 5894 1 0 0 5 GIT'EM SICK (657) DA'-FLUE 5891 1 0 0 5 GIT'EM SICK (657) IRONBARK 5882 1 2 0 5 OTHERWOOD (642) MISS BEA HAVED 5897 0 1 0 5 LADIES IN WAITING (115) SHE-HULK 5889 1 1 0 4 THE TRAVELERS (639) -KANGRI THE STRONG 5877 1 1 0 4 THE CHOSEN (613) 13 1/2 5887 0 2 0 2 THE TRAVELERS (639) M.A.S.K. 5898 0 1 0 1 THE TRAVELERS (639) -DARK(ER) LEE 5883 0 1 0 1 SERIOUS LEE (486) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? HEDIES 5899 0 1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 411 SPYMASTER 428 NONE HERMIT CRONE 5864 0 2 0 OTHERWOOD 642 ALBUS BONERATTLE 5874 424 NOT REVENGED HUMBLE LEE 4061 21 23 0 SERIOUS LEE 486 MOUNTAIN TROLL 428 NONE SARATOGA 5860 1 1 0 SMITHSONIAN 245 DEATH LEASER 5881 425 Q 798 1 5 0 TAC 105 DEATH LEASER 5881 426 WAR PIG 5879 0 2 0 THE TRAVELERS 639 ROSE BOWL 5884 427 WAR PIG 5871 0 1 0 THE TRAVELERS 639 ZUCCHINI 5859 424 NOT REVENGED PERSONAL ADS Ze Z's ve 2-1. Zz o.k. Vant Morez. -- The Zee Man The Beggar, that's not fair as you got me begging! -- Zirconium I head off to ADM (really retirement) as a 18-17-13-7-21-4-14 TP. Bye. -- Zircinium Captured Orc, meeting up with you made my day. -- Zephyr Miss Placed, I think I put you in a pickle. -- Zuchinni Congrats to Humble Lee, Duelmaster of Arkers. Salute. -- Curator Chusmi, I was really on. Wow! -- Gettysburg Toothless Love, thanks for the challenge and the win. I would say I knocked your teeth out, but we all know you started that way. -- Gold Rush Miss Construed, if we misconstrue that fight, I won. I definitely like that better. -- Pilgrim War Pig, Uh, yeah, ok. Is that like an Auburn War whatever? A loser, I mean. -- Rose Bowl Health. Humility. Honor. -- Curator, Smithsonians Longshot -- Dueling spotlights with you has been like engaging in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. Still... I admire your pluck! Perhaps Serious Lee shall return again in the future just to rattle the cage. Salute! -- Bruce Lee, mgr Serious Lee (a wholly owned subsidiary of Trump Gladiatorial Enterprises) Jheri Bloomers -- That was a textbook example of "Chopping down the Tree." I hope you enjoyed it; in the future, others will have to pay for such dueling lessons. -- Humble Lee, Lord Protector Kanga: the Strong -- no 30 years, just 19. -- Pat Bur Miss Matched -- (grinning) Allow me to help you up, m'lady. -- Cheshire Moon Rose Bowl -- Aye, with a lever big enough, you could move the whole world! -- Ironbark Two pigs eaten by travellers... -- Garden Forester 13 1/2 -- You were good luck for me! -- Ironbark Hawk -- WUHMMM?! -- Tree Anemone (translation: how'd you like me digging my talons into you?!) Q2 -- Welcome? -- Thistle Man Albus Bonerattler -- Willa was wondering: Where were you hiding? -- Thistle Man Pat Bur -- Ah I see... and you saw me! -- Willa the Mist Book of Thomas- Don't get too comfortable. I am still coming for you. Stay scared. -- Ral Stormbreaker Willa the Mist- And I shall be waiting, mi'lady. Until next time. -- Albus Bonerattler Humble Lee -- Congratulations on the invite. You earned it. I tried to hurry it along. But oh well, you achieved it now. -- Longshot Zephyr -- I will be waiting. Just don't take too long. -- Ral Stormbreaker Zirconium -- Congratulation on the invite. Z Man must be proud. -- Longshot Pip Squeak -- Heeeeere Pippy Running Stockings. Heeeeeeere Pippy, pippy, pippy, pippy. Come on Pippy. It is safe now, right? You outran the blood feud. You're safe now. Come on out. -- Hal the Crazed Stoopid Lee -- Well, well, well. Yoos got yer invite. Di yoos git one of dem cool great swords like Eadskar? Dem tings are great! But Eadskar got angry when I tried to cut a loaf of bread with it. Look 'em up on the Isle. -- Gutsag Otherwood -- Wait! We just got nice words from elves. We feel dirty. -- Acky and Wily LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS HUMBLE LEE was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 4 minute Dark Arena fight. HEDIES was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee. VAMPYRILLA was demolished by ZUCCHINI in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud fight. TREE ANEMONE was devastated by HODGE PODGE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest. IRONBARK was defeated by SCRAP METAL in a 1 minute amateur vs. master Challenge match. GOLD RUSH defeated MISS CONSTRUED in a exciting 2 minute struggle. MISS COMMUNE KATE devastated ZULU in a 1 minute one-sided Title competition. ZOMBIE vanquished M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute uneven duel. PILGRIM vanquished MISS PLACED in a 1 minute uneven fight. ZEPHYR vanquished MISS MATCHED in a 1 minute one-sided fight. GETTYSBURG was beaten by CHUSMI in a 2 minute melee. CHESHIRE MOON overpowered BUFFALO ROAMS in a 2 minute one-sided fight. THISTLE MAN was subdued by SMI CHU in a 2 minute competition. PAT BUR overcame WILLA THE MIST in a 3 minute contest. HAWK was demolished by SNAKE EYES in a 2 minute mismatched match. Q2 luckily beat SHE-HULK in a 4 minute gory amateur's conflict. 13 1/2 lost to PYNK-EYE in a action packed 1 minute amateur's bout. MISS BEA HAVED was unbelievably bested by COMYN-KOLD in a 3 minute amateur's bout. RUNI-NOZE defeated STRAY CATMAN in a 2 minute novice's bout. CHES-PAYNE beat VIRTUOUS SCRIBE in a popular 1 minute novice's bout. M.A.S.K. slimly lost to DA'-FLUE in a 3 minute amateur's competition. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |STRIKING ATTACK 6 TOTAL PARRY 28 - 17 - 0 62 | |PARRY-STRIKE 6 STRIKING ATTACK 38 - 26 - 3 59 | |AIMED BLOW 5 WALL OF STEEL 12 - 9 - 0 57 | |SLASHING ATTACK 5 SLASHING ATTACK 20 - 15 - 0 57 | |PARRY-LUNGE 4 AIMED BLOW 25 - 20 - 1 56 | |LUNGING ATTACK 4 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 11 - 0 54 | |BASHING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 21 - 18 - 4 54 | |TOTAL PARRY 2 BASHING ATTACK 20 - 30 - 2 40 | |WALL OF STEEL 1 PARRY-STRIKE 10 - 17 - 0 37 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 5 - 0 29 | Turn 428 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 1 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 3 3 STRIKING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 4 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 1 3 TOTAL PARRY STRIKING ATTACK 4 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 3 2 SLASHING ATTACK PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 2 1 LUNGING ATTACK PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 3 1 WALL OF STEEL LUNGING ATTACK 2 - 2 1 BASHING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 1 - 1 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK MISS COMMUNE KATE 4118 17 12 0 106 LADIES IN WAITING (115) SLASHING ATTACK GOLD RUSH 5851 8 3 1 98 SMITHSONIAN (245) STRIKING ATTACK ZOMBIE 5823 8 4 1 82 Z GLADIATORZ (519) PARRY-LUNGE CHESHIRE MOON 5749 9 6 1 55 OTHERWOOD (642) PARRY-STRIKE CHUSMI 756 6 3 0 48 TAC (105) AIMED BLOW HODGE PODGE 5790 5 4 0 43 BOOK OF THOMAS (411) BASHING ATTACK GETTYSBURG 5854 6 2 0 37 SMITHSONIAN (245) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is MISS COMMUNE KATE 4118. The most popular warrior this turn was GOLD RUSH 5851. The ten other most popular fighters were MISS BEA HAVED 5897, SCRAP METAL 5758, GETTYSBURG 5854, THISTLE MAN 5862, SHE-HULK 5889, PYNK-EYE 5893, ZUCCHINI 5859, MISS COMMUNE KATE 4118, CHESHIRE MOON 5749, and SMI CHU 755. The least popular fighter this week was 13 1/2 5887. The other ten least popular fighters were Q2 5896, HAWK 753, MISS MATCHED 4709, MISS PLACED 4723, IRONBARK 5882, TREE ANEMONE 5863, VAMPYRILLA 5865, HEDIES 5899, DA'-FLUE 5891, and COMYN-KOLD 5894. The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: HUMBLE LEE (8-4061) SERIOUS LEE (486) ZIRCONIUM (8-5493) Z GLADIATORZ (519) Name Change-o-Rama -- Final Update Algernon looked at the goats and sighed. No doubt it was a Good Deed to give goats to people who wanted them. But why did the goats have to be gathered in HIS office? Four of them, and they were a lot like gladiators: not smelly maybe, they were clean goats, but pushy and sure they were the most important thing around. Maybe they should be enrolled in the arena? No, there were only four, not enough for a team. He shook his head to clear it of the image of armored goats with sharpened horns. One thing at a time. He pulled a piece of paper out of his desk drawer, dipped his pen in the ink, and began to write. "It is our pleasure and honor to note that ninety-eight gladiators and teams have elected to change their names, supporting the contribution of goats to deserving people. With the Commission's matching funds, this has purchased four goats--a good goat can't be purchased for a copper, you know. The goats are already en route to their new homes, where they will be--" He paused and thought about it. "--very welcome. We wish all the best to the goats and the new goat-owners."