Date   : 11/14/2006    Duedate: 11/27/2006


DM-9    TURN-555

This Weeks Top Honors


(9-4936) [7-4-0,69]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

STEEV                          POSITION IS EMPTY
THE MONGOLOIDS (83)            
(9-4936) [7-4-0,69]            

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

NAHTALEE                       BLUE BLOTTO
THE MONGOLOIDS (83)            BLUE MOON (381)
(9-4871) [8-5-0,55]            (9-5262) [11-6-1,66]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BLUE MOON (381)             25
2. KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)       9      THE MONGOLOIDS (83)
3. DARK WARDS (451)             0      Unchartered Team
4. 70'S CHILD (479)             0
5. THE MONGOLOIDS (83)         -2      PERIODIC TABLE (283)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*70'S CHILD (479)           9   3  0 75.0   1/ 2 BLUE MOON (381)           8  7 0
 2- 3 DARK WARDS (451)          53  46  2 53.5   2- 1 DARK WARDS (451)          7  3 0
 3/ 4 THE MONGOLOIDS (83)      381 363 21 51.2   3/ 3 THE MONGOLOIDS (83)       5  5 0
 4/ 5 BLUE MOON (381)          461 586 14 44.0   4- 5*70'S CHILD (479)          1  0 0
 5/ 0 KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)     8  18  0 30.8   5/ 0 KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)    1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Ah, for the title and my notice of graduation, of COURSE I have a random match
with the reliable but non-brilliant Veteran Mercenary.  Bah.  He does his best, I
suppose, but that isn't saying much.


P.S.  Morning star?  Gods, say it isn't SO.

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in ZUKAL!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Like, DARK WARDS had to be so 
embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by BLUE MOON!  Way to go BLUE MOON!  MVP 
award for BLUE BLOTTO?  BLUE MOON's proud of him after beating NAHTALEE and getting 
14 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  NAHTALEE got smashed by BLUE BLOTTO, and 
lost 11 points!  Don't you think the Duelmaster is being unfair?  I think ZULOR 
should let VETERAN MERCENARY be Duelmaster for a while, without fighting about it.  
Who was the wiseguy that said ZUKAL's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at The Blue 
Boar Inn?  Don't look at me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  Fight, fight, fight.  Is that all you guys can do?   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it 
quits.  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STEEV 4936                    7   4  0    69       THE MONGOLOIDS (83)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLUE BLOTTO 5262             11   6  1    66       BLUE MOON (381)
-TONKA 5198                    5   0  0    58       70'S CHILD (479)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NAHTALEE 4871                 8   5  0    55       THE MONGOLOIDS (83)
-NOSFERATU 4946                8   8  0    55       DARK WARDS (451)
 EXPENDABLE YOUTH 4200         4   1  0    49       KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)
 ULTORINO 5244                10  16  1    47       BLUE MOON (381)
-TOREADOR 4948                 8   7  1    41       DARK WARDS (451)
-VENTRIIE 4987                 3   1  0    38       DARK WARDS (451)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WILYUM 4935                   5   6  0    29       THE MONGOLOIDS (83)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BLOOD SUGAR BABY 4605         3   4  0    21       KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)
-DONAHUE 5197                  2   2  0    19       70'S CHILD (479)
-MATCHBOX CARS 5195            1   0  0    19       70'S CHILD (479)
-BRUJAH 5000                   3   0  0    18       DARK WARDS (451)
-HOLY DECEPTION 4195           0   2  0    18       KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)
-GANGREL 4999                  3   0  0    15       DARK WARDS (451)
-TEE BALL 5196                 1   0  0    13       70'S CHILD (479)
 BLU JON 5308                  2   5  1    12       BLUE MOON (381)
 TIKO BEN 5320                 1   3  0     9       BLUE MOON (381)
-WE TODD IT 5208               1   0  0     9       KARNHORN KARNAGE (382)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Steev -- Well, not so dumb if you can learn like that.  Of course, I'm an
extraordinarily good teacher, which is bound to make a difference.  But still, you
haven't done badly for a dummy. -- Ultorino, master of tact

Wilyum -- Well, what can you expect, when you challenge someone so strongly your
superior, eh?  (beaming with pride, bouncing with self-satisfaction)  This is the way
I like my fights to go, you know.  I'll have to find someone who remembers what I was
drinking last night so I can do it again. -- Blue Blotto

Brujah -- It was the forced sex-change operation that made you so cranky, right?
Heck, it'd make me cranky, it makes me twitchy just thinking about it happening to
somebody else! -- Tiko Ben
P.S.  You could've taught me something, though.  I wouldn't have minded.

Gangrel -- I looked you up, and Merriam Webster (you remember her?  She was in the
class ahead of us in school) says you're a vagabond and you probably carry all your
belongings (your bottle of cheap wine, for example) in a paper bag and sleep on
benches.  If that's what makes your socks roll up and down, well, FINE, see if I
care! -- Blu Jon

Ed. -- HOMELESS, slightly decayed mongrels, apparently. -- Tiko Ben

     Interesting.  I wonder which comes first, the homelessness or the decay? -- Ed.

20 October 2006
In accordance with those rules set forth by the Lady of the Realm, I hereby announce
the formation of a small group of managers calling themselves "The Outsiders".  The
group consists of the following members:
     Doc LeGrande
     Street Legal
     This group has only one rule.  Respect the play of the managers of this
alliance.  We have no worries about not playing by the rules set forth by others.  We
fight the way we like, and all those in this group appreciate what tools each manager
brings.  We have managers from the Delarquan, Andorian and Free Blade regions.  We
have managers that focus on the tournament arenas, and we have those that focus on
the regular city arenas.  We have those in our ranks that fight with honor and
respect for all, and we have those that have a bloodlust that cannot be quenched.
     Our goal is simple.  To create a ensemble of managers that will show their
prowess in the land of Alastari, and to bring a new level of competition to all those
that share the sands with our warriors.  Our warriors are many throughout the land.
We have no home arena.  We have no pacts we abide by.  Our fighters range from
Mordant to Talcama, from Lapur to Lyratilan, Aruak City to Valamantis, the Primus
arena to Talahya, and many more arenas throughout the land.
     Whether we are sought out or ignored makes no difference to us.  We are what we
are.  We fight how we fight.  And we do it however we wish.  We have no rules.  We
have no leader or ruler.  Be prepared.  We are.

20 October 2006
The Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire respond thus to the Avengers of the Light:
Where are you?  EACH AND EVERY Dark Knight can be found in arenas 31 and 52.  Your
pretty words mean less than nothing if you won't fight.  EVERY Dark Knight is more
than willing to back up their talk.  So...we give you three turns in either 31 or 52,
REPEAT 31 or 52 to show up or shut up.  If you don't show we'll let all of Alastari
know the Avengers are indeed cowards! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

2 November 2006
I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ZULOR viciously subdued VETERAN MERCENARY in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gruesome fight.
NAHTALEE was savagely defeated by BLUE BLOTTO in a exciting 1 minute gory melee.
STEEV vanquished DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute mismatched Title brawl.
EXPENDABLE YOUTH defeated ULTORINO in a exciting 1 minute bloody fight.
WILYUM bested BLU JON in a 1 minute duel.
TIKO BEN defeated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute novice's struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         LUNGING ATTACK     8 -   3 -  1      73  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         WALL OF STEEL     21 -   8 -  1      72  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   15 -  12 -  3      56  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         TOTAL PARRY        2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  13 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         AIMED BLOW         4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         SLASHING ATTACK    0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 555 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  STEEV 4936                  7   4  0   69 THE MONGOLOIDS (83)
BASHING ATTACK   BLUE BLOTTO 5262           11   6  1   66 BLUE MOON (381)
WALL OF STEEL    NAHTALEE 4871               8   5  0   55 THE MONGOLOIDS (83)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is NAHTALEE 4871.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BLUE BLOTTO 5262.  The ten other most popular fighters were EXPENDABLE YOUTH 
4200, STEEV 4936, TIKO BEN 5320, NAHTALEE 4871, ULTORINO 5244, WILYUM 4935, BLU JON 
5308,  0,  0, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was BLU JON 5308.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were WILYUM 4935, ULTORINO 5244, NAHTALEE 4871, TIKO BEN 5320, STEEV 4936, 
EXPENDABLE YOUTH 4200, BLUE BLOTTO 5262,  0,  0, and  0.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

ZULOR (9-5235) BLUE MOON (381)