DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/12/2003    Duedate: 08/25/2003

KOLACT ARENA

DM-10    TURN-472

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

QUONSET
QUBIT (464)
(10-4990) [17-6-0,115]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

QUONSET                        CHIEF GREASY HAIR
QUBIT (464)                    CON MANCHIES (459)
(10-4990) [17-6-0,115]         (10-4686) [6-0-1,63]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CASIMIR                        OBELISK
MEGAWARRIORS (47)              TERRAPIN STATION (189)
(10-457) [14-16-0,58]          (10-5138) [2-3-0,13]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

QUBIT (464)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. QUBIT (464)                 51
2. ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)       35      TERRAPIN STATION (189)
3. PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)        34      Unchartered Team
4. THE MENTORS (242)           32
5. CAPITAL CITIES (491)        30      ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)      3   0  1  100   1/ 1 QUBIT (464)              10  2 0
 2/ 1*CON MANCHIES (459)         7   2  1 77.8   2/ 5 TERRAPIN STATION (189)    8  5 0
 3/ 0*CAPITAL CITIES (491)       3   2  1 60.0   3/ 4 SIR AGLIO (296)           7  3 1
 4/ 2 TERRAPIN STATION (189)   441 327 20 57.4   4/ 2 TOWNSVILLAINS (457)       7  6 0
 5/ 3 SIR AGLIO (296)          583 439 25 57.0   5/ 6 SPRINGBORN (358)          5 10 0
 6- 4*FEARSOME FIVESOME (415)    7   6  1 53.8   6/ 0 THE MENTORS (242)         4  1 0
 7/ 0 THE MENTORS (242)        138 119 14 53.7   7/ 8 THE MOONDOGS (97)         4 11 0
 8/ 5 QUBIT (464)              364 330 11 52.4   8/ 0*ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)     3  0 1
 9- 7 WAR HAWKS (11)           253 266 14 48.7   9/ 0*CAPITAL CITIES (491)      3  2 1
10/ 8 PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)     247 298 17 45.3  10- 3*FEARSOME FIVESOME (415)   3  3 0
11/ 9 SPRINGBORN (358)         274 349 19 44.0  11/ 7 PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)      3  7 0
12/ 0 MEGAWARRIORS (47)         77 101  4 43.3  12/11*CON MANCHIES (459)        2  0 0
13/10 TOWNSVILLAINS (457)       88 122  5 41.9  13/ 0 MEGAWARRIORS (47)         1  4 0
14/11 THE MOONDOGS (97)        171 303  9 36.1  14/ 0*THE MACHINE (484)         1  4 0
15/ 0*THE MACHINE (484)          1   4  0 20.0  15- 9 WAR HAWKS (11)            0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 475): CIARAN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 361): BIG RED of BIG COUNTRY (Wally the Wacko, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 480): PETE HARNISCH of BOMBAY BUMBLE BEES (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 477): BAQA of ABBY NORMAL (Poppa Balrog, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 475): FOLIE HANNA of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 479): VIZZERDRIX of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 477): BAYUSHI KACHIKO of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 471): HOTTA WATTA of TOWNSVILLAINS (The Narrator, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 463): QUEUE of NEXT GENERATION (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 462): CARNIVOROUS CANARY of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 436): BLONDIE of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 427): ZAZU of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 184): B.A. TURRY of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 413): PUDDING PARADE of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 362): LURCH of SORROW'S HARVEST (Gergin "Happy Toes"
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 171): MICROSOFT of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 159): HAMP of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 311): EURO STEAMER of AS SEEN ON TV (Indimar Fallon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 136): ANDRO MEDA of FEARSOME LEGENDS (Brewmaster, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 354): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 475): HAWKS (Mr. Monsen, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 361): BIG COUNTRY (Wally the Wacko, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 480): SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 477): ABBY NORMAL (Poppa Balrog, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 475): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 479): SOUL STRIPPERS II (Saucy Jack, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 477): none
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 471): QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 463): WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 462): MINISTRY OF SKA (?, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 436): BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 427): ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 184): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 413): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 362): SORROW'S HARVEST (Gergin "Happy Toes" Frothingslosh)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 171): INDULGENT DRINKS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 159): HANGOVERS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 311): STRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 136): ROCKERS OF RAGE (Unforgiven, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 354): THUNDR + LITENING (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 475): CIARAN of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
                            HELLRAISER of UNKNOWNS II (
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 479): DUNE of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
                          MX of THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 478): ZOT ZIPZIG of NIGHT TRAIN (Teet, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 477): BAYUSHI KACHIKO of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh)
                           TOTURI of CALL TO THUNDER (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                           NUTMEG of SUGAR AND SPICE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 470): SIR VILE of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 462): BO PEEP of SHEPHERDS (Assurwhatever, mgr.)
                            MIMIC BLENNY of BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 462): CARNIVOROUS CANARY of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
               (turn 461): STONE KILLER of NASTY MOB (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 426): HAR DI'HAR of JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
                              GAR & BRILL of JUST BECAUSE (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 183): HOCKEY DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 159): HAMP of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 136): ANDRO MEDA of FEARSOME LEGENDS (Brewmaster, mgr.)
                               JARRAC of FREELANCERS (Jinx, mgr.)
                   (turn 135): EVE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

I had the strangest dream last week.  I dreamt that I had beaten some warrior, who 
had just gotten his invitation to the Isle of the Eye, and became Duelmaster!  Can 
you imagine that?  Me, Hotta Watta, the Duelmaster?  Nah, couldn't happen.

This week, the same dream, only with a different opponent...

...then I woke up and saw a silk sash with the words "KOLACT DUELMASTER" embroidered 
on it lying on the chair in the small room I have here in the Townsvillains 
headquarters.

Anyway, it's nice to be "da man" for another week, and since that's the case, I get 
to pontificate for the masses once again.

Torlec, shame I missed ya, bud.  I hope we can get it on some time once your manager 
gets back.

Munchies, I don't think you were expecting a title shot to fall in your lap like it 
did, but you put up a heck of a fight anyway.  I'm glad I could teach you a few 
tricks of the trade; being able to whale away on the other guy is great, but you 
gotta be able to keep him from doing the same.

I'm sure you won't mind my not signing a rematch just yet, because, having been 
brought up the right way by Mom and Pop, I believe in "ladies first."  So, my next 
challenge is going out to Grandiose Greta, and I think this'll be a good one, 
provided she accepts, of course.

And, uh, Novgorodny Vir, I'll pay for the fifteen beers you had down in the bar, but 
I REFUSE to cough up even one copper for any of the ***CENSORED***.  Next time you 
come to Kolact, you're on your own, pal.  Don't you spy reporters have expense 
accounts, anyway?

That's all for this week, so keep your weapons dirty--preferably with the other guy's 
blood--and your noses clean.

--Hotta Watta, Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Much has changed in KOLACT since last I was here.  Never fear, Olaf Modeen 
adapts to many situations, as do all successful fighters.  Phhbltt!  Too much 
drinking and too little dodging gave FEARSOME FIVESOME a 0-0-0!  I got a good laugh 
out of it!  Up 'n down.  Up 'n down.  Rankings always change.  Up 'n down.  I think 
I'm gonna be...  Well, TERRAPIN STATION's 2nd moved them up to 2-2-0 place.  Welcome 
to KOLACT, ALASTARIAN IDOL!  We need more teams who can get a 3-0-1 their first time 
out!  KOLACT's got someone new to push around.  C'mon everyone, challenge CAPITAL 
CITIES.  Let's see how long they last.  Laughs were big at THE MOONDOGS while they 
watched CLEO clobber OJO TANGO.  He lost 13 points and got bruised from objects 
thrown from the stands.  I'm sure KOLACT is excited about QUONSET, the new Duelmaster 
from QUBIT.  (remember?)  But when you've seen as many as I have...  Wouldn't it be 
nice to have live subjects to practice on?  I hear some team is looking into the uses 
of convicted prisoners.   
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  KOLACT thinks TERRAPIN 
STATION and their 441-327-20 is too much!  If at first you don't succeed, give up...  
In my day, no team with a 439-325-20 would scare me off!  What's the problem, 
SPRINGBORN?  How well I know the feeling of being the most challenged warrior, O. 
PROCELLARUM!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to haunt you.  Maybe 
PRAETORIAN GUARD's THE HAND OF G-D is one of those guys who likes pain, or something. 
That's what he'll get next week, after challenging up 27 to LENNY BAXTER.  THE HAND 
OF G-D found one way to advance:  challenging LENNY BAXTER and losing, but getting 3 
points.  No brain, no pain.  KEPLER didn't quite know what to make of a challenge he 
received from QUAQSIMOTO of QUBIT, who is 22 points below him.  QUAQSIMOTO perhaps 
got his just desserts, seeing as he bested KEPLER and ended up with 88 recognition 
points.   
     Warriors of KOLACT unite.  You have only your games to lose!  Is it my 
imagination, or are fighters getting younger every day?  To die so young, so 
gloriously!   
     Who knows what the future holds for a warrior.  More fights, there's no doubt.  
Are you as tired of reading this as I am of writing it?  Actually, I guess I'm 
writing it before you read it.  Oh, well.  Remember--a good fighter needs both good 
skills and good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 QUONSET 4990                 17   6  0   115       QUBIT (464)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 QUIBBLE 4756                 13  32  0   100       QUBIT (464)
 MUNCHIES 5053                13   5  0    98       TERRAPIN STATION (189)
 QUICKSAND 4989               15   9  0    93       QUBIT (464)
 GRANDIOSE GRETA 4932         17  16  0    91       SPRINGBORN (358)
-TORLEC 5018                  12   9  1    91       WAR HAWKS (11)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOTTA WATTA 5038             15   3  0    89       TOWNSVILLAINS (457)
 QUAQSIMOTO 5043               8   1  0    88       QUBIT (464)
 KEPLER 4625                  14  37  2    81       THE MOONDOGS (97)
 FELICITAS 5021               14   7  4    75       PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)
-MISSAE 5027                  12   7  0    69       WAR HAWKS (11)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LENNY BAXTER 5064             9   5  0    64       TOWNSVILLAINS (457)
 CHIEF GREASY HAIR 4686        6   0  1    63       CON MANCHIES (459)
 CLEO 4996                    11  15  2    61       THE MOONDOGS (97)
 SIR PRISE 3573                9   8  1    61       SIR AGLIO (296)
-PAPPY WHAPPY 5045             8   6  0    61       TOWNSVILLAINS (457)
 CASIMIR 457                  14  16  0    58       MEGAWARRIORS (47)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHYLAYLA MINOR 5066           9   5  0    55       PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)
-SIR OCCO 5079                 5   3  0    55       SIR AGLIO (296)
 O. PROCELLARUM 4793           8  27  0    51       THE MOONDOGS (97)
 SIR INGOMYELIC 5119           5   0  1    46       SIR AGLIO (296)
-WATSON 5091                   3   0  0    44       FEARSOME FIVESOME (415)
 BLING BLING 5084              8   4  0    40       TERRAPIN STATION (189)
 SULTAN OF SWING 5076          8   6  0    40       TERRAPIN STATION (189)
 OJO TANGO 5046                7   7  1    40       TOWNSVILLAINS (457)
 THE HAND OF G-D 5080          6   5  0    38       PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)
 TYCHO 4997                    5  21  0    36       THE MOONDOGS (97)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VENUS 4103                    4   3  1    34       THE MENTORS (242)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GRACIE 5125                   2   4  1    33       SPRINGBORN (358)
 LUNA MOTH 5054                5  13  0    28       THE MOONDOGS (97)
 VAPID VANNA 5147              3   1  0    27       SPRINGBORN (358)
-EXEDUS 5081                   4   4  0    26       WAR HAWKS (11)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-NICHLAUS 4190                 1   2  1    23       FEARSOME FIVESOME (415)
 NEVENGAR 491                  3   7  0    21       MEGAWARRIORS (47)
 MARCUS 4149                   3   0  0    19       THE MENTORS (242)
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 5185          1   0  0    19       ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)
 DIE QUICK 854                 3   8  1    18       MEGAWARRIORS (47)
 GABRIEL 4147                  3   0  0    18       THE MENTORS (242)
-SIR PENT 5089                 0   4  0    16       SIR AGLIO (296)
 BABOON KABOOM 5118            1   5  0    15       TOWNSVILLAINS (457)
 OXX 5153                      1   0  0    15       THE MACHINE (484)
 OBELISK 5138                  2   3  0    13       TERRAPIN STATION (189)
 SARAJEVO 5197                 1   0  1    11       CAPITAL CITIES (491)
-COUPLES 4193                  2   0  0    10       FEARSOME FIVESOME (415)
 JOLLY 5184                    1   0  0    10       ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)
 CRAVER 5193                   1   0  0    10       THE MENTORS (242)
-QUIETUS 5165                  1   0  0     9       QUBIT (464)
-HOGAN 4191                    1   0  0     9       FEARSOME FIVESOME (415)
 SUAVE 5183                    1   0  1     6       ALASTARIAN IDOL (489)
 BEIJING 5195                  1   0  0     6       CAPITAL CITIES (491)
-WIPES WITH HAND 4685          1   2  0     5       CON MANCHIES (459)
 PANDANGO 3134                 1   1  0     4       MEGAWARRIORS (47)
 OSLO 5194                     1   0  0     4       CAPITAL CITIES (491)
 GRAVEL GUS 5181               0   2  0     2       SPRINGBORN (358)
 THUNDERSTAR 3133              0   2  0     2       MEGAWARRIORS (47)
 SPARE PARTS 5150              0   1  0     1       THE MACHINE (484)
 JERUSALEM 5196                0   1  0     1       CAPITAL CITIES (491)
 RED LIGHTNING 5151            0   1  0     1       THE MACHINE (484)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DA 5198                0  1 0 CAPITAL CITIES 491    STONE GOLEM 528       472 NONE    
MAXIMUS 5149           0  1 0 THE MACHINE 484       SUAVE 5183            472         
ORANGE CRUSH 5152      0  1 0 THE MACHINE 484       SARAJEVO 5197         472         
BRONCO 5192            0  1 0 THE MENTORS 242       WURM KIN 529          472 NONE    
BAD RU 1 5199          0  1 0 PRAETORIAN GUARD 6    SPYMASTER 524         472 NONE    
BAD RU 2 5200          0  1 0 PRAETORIAN GUARD 6    BANDIT PRINCE 527     472 NONE    
QRYPTIC 5103           1  1 0 QUBIT 464             GRACIE 5125           468 JUST REV
QRYPTIC 2 5145         0  1 0 QUBIT 464             NICHLAUS 4190         469 REVENGED
WEASLE 5148            0  4 0 SPRINGBORN 358        DARK CHAMPION 526     472 NONE    
TRAX 5137              1  1 1 WAR HAWKS 11          SIR INGOMYELIC 5119   470         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Qubit -- You guys are all heart.  I mean, what do you give the fighter who has 
nothing?  Skills!!!  Skill-Haul Supremos...most appropriate for most any occasion.  
So easily identified, so readily accepted.  It'd taken her a dozen contests to 
acquire this level of competency.  Assuming she had and does survive. (knock knock)
-- Still

Lenny Baxter -- Just call me the little ole Tinker. (was'is that, a 3-1 diff?) *tink* 
*tink* *tink*  It's even-stephen money whethers I'll be able to garner the rockhead's 
attention or not. -- Greta

Quonset -- PPPpppssssseeeeewwww  Challenges made with alacrity.  Ah'm seein the 
logic, but you sliced me-up mightily totally there, partner. -- Gracie

Obelisk -- Slip-sliding away.  I'm the smooth-sliding one.  "Vaporous Vanna" that's 
not the handle, but it should've been.  Sliding and gliding over the sands, my 
footprints hardly distinguishable from the rakings. -- V. Vanna

Quietus -- It's tough bein an experimental, don't ya know?  I mean it's not so 
obvious that folks are pointin, but there's always some deficiency to overcome.  Not 
just walking onto the sands, but climbin outta the rack ina mornin. -- Gravel Gus

SOS -- D'ja see? -- V.

Late personals, but I hope the last batch of late personals from me for a while.

Missae -- Isn't that just LIKE Murphy, that I don't get to do a timely personal when 
I WIN?  Anyway, my thanks, belated though they are. -- Kepler

Lenny Baxter -- Dear man, I was distracted by an asp. -- Cleo

Shylayla Minor -- Good heavens, woman, what were you thinking?  I blushed every time 
I looked at you. -- O. Procellarum

Bling Bling -- I was so startled by a sudden loud ringing sound that I completely 
lost track of our match.  Sorry. -- Luna Moth

Watson -- Considering everything, we didn't really go very long, did we?  Maybe we 
should try it again. -- Tycho
P.S.  But you forgot to bring ME any lunch.

Still -- Congratulations on Sunny Side, but have you noticed, since I
agreed to post the stats of any warrior graduating here, I've only had ONE go?  I 
think this may be a trick of the universe, you know, the way it laughs at me and all. 
-- Galileo
P.S.  Yes, I know, Nick is now the manager of record, but I'm still the one who has 
to get everybody up in time for the fights.  It's the dirty work that counts.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled personals.  Thank you.

Quasimoto -- Does it count if you're short because you're a Dwarf?  I mean, your back 
looks straight enough to me. -- Kepler

Ojo Tango -- That gives me the most terrible headache.  You can't imagine. -- Cleo
P.S.  Probably your secret weapon, yes?

Pappy Whappy -- But why?  What did I DO? -- O. Procellarum

Bling Bling -- Tcha. -- Tycho

Chief Greasy Hair -- Yuck.  No woman really likes that in a man, you know. -- Luna 
Moth

I hope everyone who has an interest in that sort of thing is noting the conjunction 
of Mars? -- Galileo

Watson -- Way to move up the ranks! -- Sir Prise

Nichlaus -- We'll try again with Quonset.  After all, one learned skill  is probably 
not worth a loss, is it? -- Qubit

Gracie -- Not bad for learns.  Could be better, but not too bad.  We'll try this time 
with Quicksand. -- Qubit
P.S.  And you tried to avoid?  Don't blame you.

Kepler -- Well fought.  Think I'll try again, even if I lose again, in hopes of yet 
even more skills. -- Quazsimoto

Gravel Gus -- Tough old dude, ain't cha! -- Quietus
P.S.  Nice learns!

Hotta Watta -- 15 and 2, hangin' on to the throne.  Impressive. -- Sultan

Hoffa -- Are your dogs ever going to bark here again? -- Sultan

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
    snail.
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
    double!
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
own!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WEASLE was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BAD RU 1 was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
DA was killed by STONE GOLEM in a action packed 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
BRONCO was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
BAD RU 2 was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
QUICKSAND bested GRACIE in a popular 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud brawl.
QUIBBLE bested GRANDIOSE GRETA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute master's Challenge match.
QUAQSIMOTO overpowered KEPLER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
SIR PRISE vanquished O. PROCELLARUM in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
OJO TANGO was overpowered by CLEO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
THE HAND OF G-D was defeated by LENNY BAXTER in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight.
SULTAN OF SWING savagely defeated TYCHO in a 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
BABOON KABOOM was savagely defeated by VAPID VANNA in a 2 minute competition.
HOTTA WATTA was demolished by QUONSET in a popular 1 minute mismatched Title match.
MUNCHIES overcame KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute gruesome fight.
FELICITAS overpowered CASIMIR in a 1 minute uneven struggle.
BLING BLING was handily defeated by CHIEF GREASY HAIR in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
SHYLAYLA MINOR devastated CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute brutal one-sided brawl.
SIR INGOMYELIC savagely defeated LUNA MOTH in a exciting 3 minute brutal bout.
VENUS overpowered DIE QUICK in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
NEVENGAR devastated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GABRIEL won victory over OBELISK in a popular 6 minute match.
MARCUS handily defeated THUNDERSTAR in a 1 minute uneven duel.
PANDANGO was devastated by THE UPRIGHT MAN in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GRAVEL GUS was defeated by BEIJING in a exciting 4 minute gory beginner's fight.
OXX vanquished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SUAVE killed MAXIMUS in a 1 minute novice's melee.
JOLLY vanquished RED LIGHTNING in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided fray.
ORANGE CRUSH was executed by SARAJEVO in a 1 minute uneven competition.
CRAVER overpowered JERUSALEM in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
OSLO unbelievably bested SPARE PARTS in a 5 minute brutal novice's fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        29 -  15 -  0      66  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         LUNGING ATTACK    42 -  29 -  3      59  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -  13 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         TOTAL PARRY       17 -  17 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         PARRY-LUNGE       18 -  18 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  21 -  2      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         WALL OF STEEL     22 -  25 -  2      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   19 -  26 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  25 -  1      34  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  12 -  0      20  |

Turn 472 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     5 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         4 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         1  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  3     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  4         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       QUONSET 4990               17   6  0  115 QUBIT (464)
PARRY-LUNGE      MUNCHIES 5053              13   5  0   98 TERRAPIN STATION (189)
PARRY-STRIKE     GRANDIOSE GRETA 4932       17  16  0   91 SPRINGBORN (358)
TOTAL PARRY      HOTTA WATTA 5038           15   3  0   89 TOWNSVILLAINS (457)
STRIKING ATTACK  FELICITAS 5021             14   7  4   75 PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)
LUNGING ATTACK   CHIEF GREASY HAIR 4686      6   0  1   63 CON MANCHIES (459)
WALL OF STEEL    SHYLAYLA MINOR 5066         9   5  0   55 PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)
SLASHING ATTACK  THE HAND OF G-D 5080        6   5  0   38 PRAETORIAN GUARD (6)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CASIMIR 457.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
OBELISK 5138.  The ten other most popular fighters were GRANDIOSE GRETA 4932, SIR 
INGOMYELIC 5119, DA 5198, VAPID VANNA 5147, GRAVEL GUS 5181, SPARE PARTS 5150, 
QUICKSAND 4989, QUIBBLE 4756, LENNY BAXTER 5064, and QUONSET 4990.

The least popular fighter this week was OSLO 5194.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were ORANGE CRUSH 5152, MAXIMUS 5149, PANDANGO 3134, THUNDERSTAR 3133, DIE 
QUICK 854, BLING BLING 5084, CASIMIR 457, BABOON KABOOM 5118, TYCHO 4997, and OJO 
TANGO 5046.