Date   : 06/19/2009    Duedate: 07/02/2009


DM-11    TURN-622

This Weeks Top Honors


(11-4752) [13-6-0,92]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(11-4752) [13-6-0,92]          (11-6721) [3-5-0,54]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KIANA TOM                      TOM SAWYER
(11-4753) [11-15-0,88]         (11-7101) [12-14-2,73]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KRILL CAVALRY (374)         36
3. THE UPSTARTS II (411)       18      Unchartered Team
4. PHILANTHROPISTS (576)       12
5. BULLDOGS (157)               0      PHILANTHROPISTS (576)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 COLORIFIC (511)          396 206 13 65.8   1/ 2 KRILL CAVALRY (374)      12  3 0
 2- 2 ANIMAL FARM (510)        %1184 651 40 64.5   2- 1 ANIMAL FARM (510)         6  2 1
 3/ 3 GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRL (435) 112  79  4 58.6   3- 4 COLORIFIC (511)           5  4 0
 4- 4 BULLDOGS (157)           %1074 795 33 57.5   4/ 5 THE UPSTARTS II (411)     5  6 0
 5- 5 TECHNO 8 (609)            89  76  4 53.9   5- 3 BULLDOGS (157)            4  3 0
 6- 6 NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (474)  112 106  5 51.4   6- 6 TECHNO 8 (609)            4  6 0
 7/ 7 THE UPSTARTS II (411)     18  19  0 48.6   7/ 9 GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRL (435)  4  8 0
 8/ 8 IMMORTALS (85)           934 %1070 75 46.6   8/ 8*PHILANTHROPISTS (576)     2  1 0
 9/ 9 KRILL CAVALRY (374)      417 717  8 36.8   9/ 7 IMMORTALS (85)            0  5 0
10-10 FURRY FURY (611)          10  22  0 31.3  10-10 FURRY FURY (611)          0  3 0
11/11*PHILANTHROPISTS (576)      3   9  0 25.0  11-11 NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (474)   0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #31 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lady Fern knew that her brothers Fandil and Lenpro were competent men, and that
they had each followed up what they considered an important point in the current
problem.  But she could not help feeling that they had, each of them, overlooked the
key to the problem, or at least the point which should have been dealt with FIRST:
the King.
     Whether the true king had died some time ago or was alive but under magical
control or any of several other possibilities, the important thing, as she saw it,
was to insure that command of the Andorian League did not fall into the wrong hands.
Yes, the causes of the problem, which Fandil thought he had a line on, needed to be
dealt with.  And yes, the secondary results of the problem such as intolerance of the
Aruaki, which Lenpro had gone out to tackle, did need to be dealt with, too.
     But the previous kings of the League had not made much effort to draw it
together into a coherent whole, and if the king failed, it would--almost must--fall
apart into its constituent parts.  Fratsfa, Convincia, Ardivent, and the Aruaki
Clanholds.  Raltumas... she shrugged.  That was probably lost.  Which, also, an
active king might have prevented.
     So she had done what seemed reasonable to her, and sent one of her Girls, the
Outcast Orchid, to Andor to find out what was going on.  It seemed so obvious.  No
magical scrying, no careful collating of reports from spies and chance travelers,
just... go and look.  She'd been tempted to make up a party drawn from several teams
here, because though her Girls were Good Girls, they were easily distracted.  But in
the end she had not.  Time enough to involve more people when she had some
information to work with.  Orchid had strict instructions not to become involved with
people along the way, just to go, see, and return to report what she had seen.  It
would have to be enough.


     Outcast Orchid leaned against a pillar along the Processional Way--whatever the
actual name of the avenue was, she didn't know or care--and waited for the King to
drive past in his carriage.  It had been a boring trip.  No fraternization with
anybody!  She understood why her manager had give that order, but it had been hard to
follow.  All the opportunities she'd passed by!  She let her eyes wander across the
crowd waiting for the king to appear.  There was a fine-looking man in the prime of
life who looked like he might know a thing or two.  And over there a young man, full
of energy, who might be a gladiator--he looked like he could hardly wait for the
king's carriage to come into view.  It was good to see someone who really cared; and
he had several more probable gladiators with him.  They must have come from one of
the Convincian arenas to see the king.  And that man over there, my, wasn't HE a cute
     A stirring in the crowd at the end of the block.  Not a cheer, but....  No, she
couldn't say what it was, exactly.  She wasn't good at finding words for stuff like
that.  Not exactly excitement, but greater attention.  Focus.  Probably the king's
carriage.  Or at least the head of the procession.
     Yes, here they came.  Guards.  Fine looking men, really fine.  Very serious,
practically stone-faced, but they were on duty, after all.  Then ordinary men in
fancy clothing.  Lesser members of the government, she guessed.  Some of them looked
like nobles, and some reminded her a LOT of Commission officials.  A bureaucrat
doesn't change from office to office.  More guards, looking more tense.
     "I was against this," a man beside her muttered.  "I told them from the
beginning that it would be better to keep it simple."
     She turned to look at him.  Oh, my, really cute!  Dark and gloomy, looked like a
poet.  She could have FUN with a man like that, but... she had her orders.
     "You think the parade is a mistake?"
     "That, too.  The more they bring their 'king' out in public, the more chance for
people to see that something's wrong.  But they have insisted on displaying... him.
No, it's this that's going to happen next.  I advised against it.  I did!  But they
WILL have their drama, and I, the gods forgive me, helped them set it up."  He shook
his head, looking more gloomy and romantical than ever.  "You should move away from
me.  I'm dangerous company."
     Orchid was going to ask him what he was talking about, but the carriage came
into view around the corner.  Okay, she could ask questions later.  Right now, her
most imperative command was to SEE.  To see the king, and report what she'd seen.
Accurately, which meant she had to pay attention here.  The carriage was moving
slowly, so she had plenty of time to observe it.
     The man on the rear seat, in the purple robes and the golden crown, must be the
king.  Who else could it be?  But she hadn't expected the crown, somehow.  She'd seen
Emperor Alonj of Fratsfa, and he didn't wear a crown.  She studied the king, if that
was him, closely.  Lady Fern would want details.  He didn't look... huh.  Not much of
anything.  Not interested in the city going past him, not bored by the parade, not
angry at something, not... anything.  Not particularly healthy, not actually sick.
He seemed so much a blank that it was disconcerting.
     "What's WRONG with him?"  She didn't realize she'd spoken out loud until she
heard the words hanging in the air.  Too late to call them back.
     "Aside from the fact that you're looking at a golem with no more mind than a
puppet?  Not a thing.  As empty golems go, it's a fairly good one."
     "A... golem?"  She turned to look at the man beside her.  "Then what happened to
the KING?"
     He shrugged.  "Nobody who's talking knows."
     He took her arm gently and turned her back toward the parade.  "Watch this."
His voice was grim.  "Watch closely, not just the 'king', and see if you can spot the
flaws.  Someone needs to know, besides me."
     Orchid focused on the carriage again, then began to look at the people closest
around it.  The neatly arrayed ranks of guards had gotten out of step and out of line
when they turned the corner back there.  Surely guards knew how to handle corners?
But they were being slow to reorganize their ranks.  The group she'd identified as
almost certainly gladiators--half a dozen of them--surged forward.  To protect--  No!
They were ATTACKING the king!  She stood for a few seconds in stunned disbelief, then
shook herself together and took a step forward.  She had to protect--
     The grip on her arm tightened, holding her back.  "No, lady, don't throw your
life away for nothing.  That is not the king, it was never the king, and this
'assassination' was arranged by--  Better, probably, if I don't tell you.  They sniff
out guilty knowledge like pig sniffing truffles.  Take what you have seen and get out
of town as quickly as you can without attracting suspicion.  Tell people--it's
important that people know what really happened here--"
     "Come with me," she said.  "You're in danger, too, aren't you?"
     "Yes, but I put myself in the path of--"
     A scream cut off his words.  She looked back.  The words of so many spy reports
ran through her head:  Blood on a purple robe may stain.  That robe was badly
stained.  But it was the gladiator-assassins who were screaming as the guards closed
around them and cut them down.  Cut them into pieces.  The pavement was awash with
     The grip on her elbow dragged her back into the concealment of the milling
crowd, then into a side street.  "Come away, lady, while you still can."

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): ZENITH of Z GLADIATORZ (? , mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): GEORGE FOREMUN of ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 610): PAUL WEIDORFER of MEDAL OF HONOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): AMARANTH of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): SIR CARLSON of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (?, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): CHARLES DEGLOPPER of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 554): ANNA BEATRICE of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 257): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 453): BILLY JOHNSON of 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 506): VAJRA VALMEJAR of SCARLET KNIGHTS (Armalias, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 610): MEDAL OF HONOOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 554): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 257): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 453): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 211): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 506): SUPERIOR FATHER et al (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 309): CONCUSSION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               MOCHA MONKEY of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 620): MR FANG of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 606): SUZETTE CREPPAY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 601): LITTLE ROCKY of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 571): DAY TURNER of MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): ROBERT DUNLAP of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                 (turn 562): TERRINDAR of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 553): BUM of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 210): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Rumor has it that I am gone.  Lord Protectorship awaits!  And my buddy, the
Mocha Monkey, is going with me.  Finally!
     While Mino has already posted our starting stats, this Column will be more about
me and the monkey.
     12(+2)-20(+3)-7-11(+1)-21(+1)-4-17(+1) TP
     Bonused TREMENDOUS Endurance on the roll
     Master Parry (Probably got expert defense in this last fight)
     Unknown Faves, guessing BS/Mod/Very Low
     3/99/6 with BS 0/37/0 with all others
     Skill learn rate 1.68
     33-6-1 in arena and 11-9-0 in tourneys
     11(+1)-9-13-15(+1)-21(+2)-10-11(+2) SL
     Bonused GREAT damage and +3 DECISE on the roll
     Adexes Init, Attack, Decise
     Unknown Faves guessing SC/High/Low
     5/25/5 with HA; 13/81/18 with BS; 9/47/10 with SC
     Skill learn rate 1.36
     20-4-0 in arena and 5-3 in tournaments

Ring out the old and bring in the new!

          Lilac Lizard DM VIII

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly ARUAK CITY games.  Former top team ANIMAL FARM was 
unseated this week as KRILL CAVALRY moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top spot 
with a 4-1-0 record for the round.  Did only my eyes note the 4-1-0 record which 
KRILL CAVALRY managed to post this round?  I don't doubt that such a record will draw 
challengers!  AMANDA BYNES caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as 
she skillfully bested HAVERHILL CHAMP and was awarded 21 points in recognition.  In 
one of the week's more notable duels, AMANDA BYNES put down HAVERHILL CHAMP, causing 
him to lose 16 points of recognition in the process.  Due to hers absence and 
inability to defend the throne, LILAC LIZARD has lost the title of Duelmaster.  The 
city has turned out in honor of CARMEN ELECTRA, for with hers arena victory she may 
now lay claim to the highest position in the city!  No confirmation, but my sources 
claim that the top team has gained their position using magical aids.  Charmed 
weapons perhaps?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  I saw one fighter that warriors 
avoided when this week's challenge seeking began.  ANIMAL FARM is feared.  This much 
I can say.  Apparently the stalwarts of GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS are catching the bulk of 
jests down at the challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  Loose talk 
at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters 
are after HAVERHILL CHAMP.  Watch your back!   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She showers the 
miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious.  Remember this!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Ahh, but I can hear the spires of a far off 
city calling to me.  I must away!  Till next we meet remember:  a fool flies into a 
rage quickly and often.  The wise are angered by the same thing only once.  Zontani 
Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CARMEN ELECTRA 4752          13   6  0    92       GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (435)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BUTTER BURRO 7062            22   2  0   116       ANIMAL FARM (510)
-PUPPY LOVE 7026              26  12  0   111       BULLDOGS (157)
-GREEN THUMB 6830             23  11  0   103       COLORIFIC (511)
-TONYA WAITS 4757             20   9  0    99       GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (435)
-TWOFLOWER 7120               15  12  0    99       TECHNO 8 (609)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KIANA TOM 4753               11  15  0    88       GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (435)
 SONG OF SUMMER 7119          18  11  0    82       KRILL CAVALRY (374)
-GRAY MATTER 7152              7   4  0    80       COLORIFIC (511)
-BROWN NOSE 6939              11   5  0    75       COLORIFIC (511)
 TOM SAWYER 7101              12  14  2    73       IMMORTALS (85)
-PUP TENT 7134                10  12  1    71       BULLDOGS (157)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SPACE TOAD 4402           8   3  0    69       THE UPSTARTS II (411)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TWEED 7198                   12   4  1    60       TECHNO 8 (609)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SHY MEERKAT 7140              6   4  0    56       FURRY FURY (611)
 STABLEBOY 7118               13  16  0    55       KRILL CAVALRY (374)
 WOODROW BILLIT 7151           8  14  0    54       KRILL CAVALRY (374)
 AGRAEDUS 6721                 3   5  0    54       PHILANTHROPISTS (576)
-YELLOW FEVER 6978            11   5  1    47       COLORIFIC (511)
-TONK 7163                     9  11  0    46       TECHNO 8 (609)
 CINDERELLA MAN 7102           8  18  0    42       IMMORTALS (85)
 TIRLA DANCER 7228             3   2  0    42       KRILL CAVALRY (374)
-TWILL 7197                    7   9  0    40       TECHNO 8 (609)
-BEAN SIDHE 7130               4   0  0    40       NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (474)
-MIXED BREED 7135              7  12  1    36       BULLDOGS (157)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE ANALOG KID 7165           6   9  1    33       IMMORTALS (85)
 IRVIN FLETE 7211              5   8  0    33       KRILL CAVALRY (374)
 DRAYTON FLASHSTONE 7166       7   8  0    32       IMMORTALS (85)
-HOUND 7230                    4   0  0    28       BULLDOGS (157)
-PENNYWISE 7129                3   5  0    28       NIGHT'S GUARDIANS (474)
-RAGING BULL 7205              3   7  0    27       BULLDOGS (157)
-SORTA DARK ELF 4403           4   3  0    24       THE UPSTARTS II (411)
 BROOK BURKE 6472              2   8  0    24       GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (435)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PAPRIKA PUMA 7204             3   1  0    22       ANIMAL FARM (510)
 STINGER 7233                  2   1  0    22       THE UPSTARTS II (411)
 AMANDA BYNES 7240             1   1  0    22       GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (435)
-TONI 7222                     5   3  0    18       TECHNO 8 (609)
-RED HEAD 7231                 2   1  0    10       COLORIFIC (511)
 HAVERHILL CHAMP 7229          1   2  1     6       IMMORTALS (85)
-MR SPRINKLES 6971             1   2  0     5       THE UPSTARTS II (411)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BOB THE NINJA 4405      3  3 0 THE UPSTARTS II 411  HAVERHILL CHAMP 7229  619   
PUFFY 7244              0  1 0 THE UPSTARTS II 411  MOUNTAIN TROLL        622  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Both me lizard and me monkey done gradderatin ta yon Isle?  More critters a commin',
blimey!  Me Lilac Lizard done started atta 10-17-7-10-20-4-16 bonused endurance TP
while Mocha Monkey were10-9-13-14-19-10-9 bonused damage and decise SL. -- Mino

Ichabod The Bad/Good Guy Slosher, and Bean Sidhe The Aruak Dr. Hyde -- I had not even
realized that I killed Keeper Of Secrets, but I apologize to you both.  It was
certainly not my intent.  I hope your new recruit is a godling. -- Lilac Lizard

Carmen Electra -- I had LOTS of fun with you! -- Butter Burro

Ichabod -- Me lizard bea sad she made yer Keeper walk yon plank.  Aye. -- Mino

Kiana Tom -- You had some great digs and passes and almost aced me on the serve.
Well done. -- Lilac Lizard

There is something about matching up with a Veteran mercenary that I like. -- Mocha

Tirla Dancer -- Maybe a woodpecker, but surely a henpecker.  I am copying you, my
mentor.  (wink) -- Red Head, Proud Colorific

Twoflower -- You two-faced geek!  Who'd you pay? -- Brown Nose, Proud Colorific

Gray Matter -- You lost to Khalhum's Dwarf?!  You are not only a lousy fighter but
you are DUMB and in peril of Unlit action! -- Purple People Eater, Proud Colorific

     We light the arena at night! -- Shinketh

Irvin Flete -- How very nice.  I like the easy wins.  I do.  Perhaps I am jaundiced?
Now you are!  Heh, heh, heh. -- Yellow Fever

Mr. Sprinkles -- I'd say I am soooooo sorry, but I am not. -- Red Head, Proud

And just who has the BEST team in all Aruak city?  I am sooooo good! -- Purple People
Eater, proud Colorific manager

Ichabod Frothingslosh -- Keeper Of Secrets was a nice one.  We are sorry for your
loss.  May he fight well in That Great Arena In The Sky.  We will miss a great
competitor. -- Kennelworth and The Bulldogs

Gavin Rules -- It depends on which has the greater damage rating.  If both are the
same, the damage is likely near same.  BOTH size and strength are direct contributors
to damage doing.  Big guys have "built in muscles." -- Kennelworth

Kung Fu Master -- Did you have to do that?  I was just looking for a good spot to put
down some stakes. -- Pup Tent

A salute to Lilac Lizard, Duelmaster.  Duelmasters drink free at The Bulldog Inn. --
Kennelworth, Proprietor
P.S.  And congrats on the Lord Protectorship.

Khalhums Dwarf -- Love hits even the little guys! -- Puppy Love

Brook Burke -- I just love it when you pet me like that.  It makes my tongue hang
out!  And I just want to say you were very, very pretty on Dancing With The Stars.
You are MY star.  (pant, pant, pant) -- Hound

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  Help maintain Aruak City as The Heart And Soul of
Andoria. -- Kennelworth

Hot off the press from The Animal Farm Gazette:
     Lilac Lizard faves were QS/Lo/Lo Response Tactic, learns Riposte
     Mocha Monkey faves were HA Mod/Mod Slash Tactic, learns Attack
          The A.F. Publicist

Brwon Nose -- Most colorful indeed. -- Twoflower

Stableboy -- Ah, quite the workout. -- Tweed

Tirla -- Hmph! -- Toni

Song of Summer -- Wait!  No fair, it's not summer yet! -- Twill

     Maybe not where YOU are, but it surely is here.

Woodrow -- Sigh. -- Tonk

Tweed -- It's way too hot for tweed.  Lots too hot. -- Stableboy

Toni -- Did we even fight?  The announcer called our names and then it was over.
This is weird.  But at least you didn't die. -- Tirla Dancer

Twill -- It's too hot for twill, also.  In fact, I think it's the weather for
seersucker, which always struck me as a strange name for a fabric. -- Song of Summer
P.S.  It sounds more like a biting fly, doesn't it?

Tonk -- Onomatopoeia, or however it's spelled.  But I tonked you a few times, and the
sound was just right.  Thanks for the suggestion. -- Woodrow Billit
P.S.  Okay, this gremlin came along and fixed the spelling.  A fourth O.  I wouldn't
have expected that, it's got plenty already.  Supererogation.
P.P.S.  And then the gremlin took away an R from that one!

Yellow Fever -- They say it's the season, but I think I'd rather pass. -- Irvin Flete

Re Question of the Week:  If you have a gladiator with 17 ST and 7 DF and another
with 5 ST and 17 DF... first, how likely are they to have the same skills?  And they
are NOT going to use the same weapon equally well. -- Jorja

Congratulations to Lilac Lizard and Mocha Monkey. -- Jorja and Krill Cavalry

Lilac Lizard and Mocha Monkey -- Er, ah.  Congratulations are in order, I hear.  I
congratulate you.  Beyond that... are you sure you want anything here?  Are you not
going away to the Isle? -- Shinketh, Land Agent

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PUFFY was barely slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SONG OF SUMMER demolished M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
TOM SAWYER was defeated by CARMEN ELECTRA in a 3 minute master's Title duel.
KIANA TOM overpowered WOODROW BILLIT in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
THE SPACE TOAD devastated CINDERELLA MAN in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
DRAYTON FLASHSTONE was overpowered by AGRAEDUS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
STABLEBOY bested THE ANALOG KID in a 2 minute competition.
TIRLA DANCER savagely defeated CAPTURED ORC in a 2 minute gruesome beginner's melee.
IRVIN FLETE vanquished BROOK BURKE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HAVERHILL CHAMP was vanquished by AMANDA BYNES in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
STINGER overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute uneven match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         TOTAL PARRY       45 -   7 -  1      87  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     24 -  12 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   5 -  0      64  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   22 -  22 -  1      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         BASHING ATTACK    24 -  24 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    20 -  26 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         AIMED BLOW        10 -  18 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   1 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   4 -  0       0  |

Turn 622 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         4  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         3  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      CARMEN ELECTRA 4752        13   6  0   92 GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (435)
AIMED BLOW       SONG OF SUMMER 7119        18  11  0   82 KRILL CAVALRY (374)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE SPACE TOAD 4402         8   3  0   69 THE UPSTARTS II (411)
WALL OF STEEL    TIRLA DANCER 7228           3   2  0   42 KRILL CAVALRY (374)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KIANA TOM 4753.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TOM SAWYER 7101.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE ANALOG KID 7165, 

The least popular fighter this week was HAVERHILL CHAMP 7229.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BROOK BURKE 6472, DRAYTON FLASHSTONE 7166, CINDERELLA MAN 7102, 
TOAD 4402, IRVIN FLETE 7211, and TIRLA DANCER 7228.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:


                                  Daydream Believer

You once thought of me,
As a white knight on a steed.
Now you know how happy I can be...

It's true.  I'm gone.  I've punched my ticket to Immortality and I'm off to the Isle.
I know a lot of you are wondering what it is about me that has made me so successful.
I wish I knew for sure.  I think it has more to do with intangibles (knack) than it
does with design, bonuses and favorites.  I'll let you decide.

Daydream Believer (PR) 17-14-4-17-7-8-17  Poor Endurance--Good Damage
I -- 8 (+1)  R -- 13  A -- 14 (+4)  P -- 14 (+4)  Df - 8  Dc - 6 (+3)

I know what you're thinking, "WTF, that guy looks like a 98 lb weakling!"  Sigh...I
prefer to think my physical characteristics are ideally suited for a finesse style.
As for my bases, I know they aren't much to look at.  After all, I am a PR.  I'm
fortunate to be blessed where I need it the most--attack and parry.

Okay, so I've got nice bases with bonuses in the right spots.  What about favorites?
Did I know them in advance or did I change them?  The answer is no, I had no idea
what they were for sure until I recieved my graduation announcement.  I would be
happy to tell you what my favorites are but I don't think my clone, Jumpinjack Flash,
would be very happy with me if I did.  Let's just say that from the moment I stepped
on the sands as a Rookie I used the same strategy in EVERY fight.  The only thing I
ever changed was armor (early on vs. TP's) and attack/defend locations.  That should
give those of you who have faced me more than once something to think about.

You may be interested to know that I am all natural.  I haven't had a prize of any
type used on me.  I'm a freak of nature.  It just goes to show you never know when a
guy like me will walk into your guildhouse looking for work as a gladiator.  It's up
to you to spot the potential and nuture it along.

I'm going to list my tourney results and records versus each style.  It isn't meant
to be a brag--I just thought you might find it interesting and a lot easier than
looking it up yourself.  Enjoy!
     Tourneys:  Rookies: 15-1-3 TC.  Initiates: 15-3-3 TV.  Adepts: 16-2 TC.
Champs: 13-1-1 TC.  Rookies--Champs record: 59-7-7 (.894)  Challengers: 9-3 TV.
Challengers: 15-1-1 TC.
Challengers: 13-3 TV -- Runner-up (Marv-AB)  Challengers: 13-3 TV -- Runner-up
(Teevella-LU)  Challengers: 7-3  Challengers: 11-3-2 TV  Challengers: 11-3-1 TV
 Challengers: 13-3 TV -- Runner-up (Marv-AB)

Challengers: 12-3 TV.  Challengers record: 104-25-4 (.806).  Career Tourney record:
163-32-11 (.836)  TC's: 4  TVs: 8 (3 Runner-ups)  Arena record: 5-0-1  Grudge
matches: 3-0

Total record: 171-32-12 (.842)  Tourney record vs all styles:  AB: 7-11  BA: 6-0-1
LU: 46-9-4  PL: 5-1-1  PR: 2-0  PS: ---  SL: 9-2  ST: 51-5-2  TP: 35-4-3  WS: 2-0

As you can see, the only style I had trouble with is the ABs.  I think that has more
to do with which ABs I fought rather than the style as a whole.  I was 3-1 vs ABs
early on (Rookies-Champs) and 4-10 in Challengers.  I was 1-5 vs Marv, 0-1 vs Marv Jr
and 0-3 vs Soulsnare.  I am going to make an educated guess and assume they all had
skills or prizes added to them to make them competetive at the Challenger level where
so few ABs are.  I could be wrong, though I doubt it.

See you on the Isle,
    Daydream Believer