DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/11/2003    Duedate: 08/23/2003

TOBIR ARENA

DM-14    TURN-469

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BERWICK
OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
(14-3901) [15-8-1,103]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BERWICK                        POSITION IS EMPTY
OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)        
(14-3901) [15-8-1,103]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SABRE                          10% VIGORISH
LEGION OF STEEL (241)          THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
(14-2142) [12-9-2,74]          (14-4108) [2-2-0,28]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)     34
2. LEGION OF STEEL (241)       12      OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
3. THE DEATH SQUAD (63)         5      Unchartered Team
4. THE DOGHOUSE (188)           2
5. DELIVERANCE (33)             0       (-1)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)  201 114 12 63.8   1/ 1 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)      8  7 0
 2/ 2 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     272 247 23 52.4   2/ 4 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)   7  3 0
 3- 3 DELIVERANCE (33)         427 478 44 47.2   3/ 3 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        7  6 0
 4/ 4 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       239 285  5 45.6   4- 2 DELIVERANCE (33)          4  6 1
 5/ 5 LEGION OF STEEL (241)     40  54  4 42.6   5/ 6 LEGION OF STEEL (241)     1  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #117 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Seam:

     Tonga, a Lord Protector who had graduated here, stood on the top level of the
arena and looked out over the small city.  The past year or two had not been kind to
Seam.  Buildings still stood between the center of the city and the river, but the
other half of the town was in ruins.  "It wouldn't look any worse if there'd been a
war here," he muttered to his teammate, Nathaniel G.
     "If there'd been a war, there would be more bodies," Nathaniel argued.  Anything
else he might have said was drowned out by rumbling deep in the earth.
     The geyser that had broken out a few months ago burst into the air, bringing
sulfur-scented steam.  It rose in the center of the devastated area, shooting higher
than the arena walls before a wind from the west seized the top of the plume and blew
scalding mist to the east.  The circle of abandoned buildings marked the distance
that any normal wind was likely to blow the deadly steam.  Although some of the
destruction in the center had resulted from the blast that released the geyser, and
from the occasional earth-shocks afterward, most of it was due to vandalism and
looting.
     Some of the vandals, Tonga noted sadly, were gladiators whose teams hadn't found
new homes after the arena closed.  He could understand their anger and despair, but
wished they'd found a more constructive outlet.  Others were relicts of the civil war
who, for one reason or another, had nowhere else to go.
     "Point's in worse shape," Nathaniel said when the geyser finally subsided.
"Wiped out by..." he hesitated, not wanting to attribute the destruction of Point to
ghosts.
     "Ghosts," Tonga said.  "Might as well admit it.  Everyone says it was ghosts out
of Krael that wiped out Point and hit Iaye, too."  He glanced sideways at his
companion.  "When you were out toward Point, did you swing down to Ti?  We haven't
heard a word from there in, I dunno, weeks, months?"

Zorpunt:

     Karanjal walked into the Krill Cavalry guildhouse and flopped into a chair.  He
wasn't sure now what he had expected life to be like once he became a Lord Protector,
but he knew he hadn't expected to end up as a courier riding all over the Clanhold.
He accepted a mug of cold cider from his teammate, Flitter McGee, and drank deeply.
     Flitter waited impatiently, and when Karanjal didn't seem likely to stop
drinking, he said, "Well?"
     "No, not well," Karanjal growled.
     "You went to Ti," Flitter prompted, when no further comment was forthcoming.
     "There isn't any Ti.  Empty beach.  Not even ruins."
     "Some kind of wave, like took out Point?" Flitter guessed.
     "You're not listening!"  Karanjal slammed his mug onto the long refectory table
in sudden irritation.  "There is no Ti.  It's like there never was a Ti.  With Point,
there are ruins.  With Ti, nothing.  I searched the coast for three miles each way--
What a joke, each way from what?  I couldn't even be sure exactly which part of the
coast used to have the town on it!"  He was silent for a moment.  "There's a cliff at
the water's edge," he said finally, "some kind of purplish rock with fossils in it.
Like nothing I've seen anywhere before.  I'm guessing that's where Ti used to be,
that somehow the town got swapped for a piece of some other coast somewhere...."
     "But that's impossible!"
     "Unlikely, maybe, but what other explanation is there?"
     "Okay, okay...."  Flitter frowned.  "Okay, really big magic could maybe do it,
but really big magic is impossible right now, because of the Chaos contamination and
the Arcanum failing and all."
     Karanjal shrugged.  "I don't have to come up with answers, thank all gods!  I
just go and gather facts.  Someone else can figure out what's going on."  He heaved
himself up reluctantly.  "I suppose I'd better write out a report."

At an unknown location:

     Belana listened to the sliding rocks, but she kept her eyes moving.  Just
because she could hear someone coming from one direction, that didn't mean there
wasn't somebody coming from some other direction, too.  The man who emerged from the
trees was dark enough to be Delarquan, but if this was the wrong side of some Gate,
that didn't mean anything.  She supposed she should be glad it was human.  Or at
least looked human.  Her gaze flicked to the man and then along the edge of the
trees, back to the man and along the trees on the other side.  He looked like
Gelleran.  Not exactly, but very nearly like Gelleran.  Maybe he was trapped on this
side of the Gate, too.
     Or maybe this was somebody or some THING else that was mimicking Gelleran's
appearance to put her off guard.  There was a lot of deceit in the world--in ANY
world, after all.
     The man came down the last of the slope in a half-run that made enough noise to
cover anyone else who might be moving in the woods.  "Belana!  My seer said you would
be here--I'm so glad you're not badly hurt!"  He came up against the low wall that
marked that side of her floor, hitting it with a jolt that would knock the breath out
of anyone.  He grinned at her, panting.
     If this wasn't Gelleran, the illusion was beyond her ability to penetrate, and
she couldn't refuse help just because she didn't trust this world.  Belana put down
her rock and stood.  "I'm glad to see a familiar face," she admitted.  "But where are
we?"
     "On Kordos, of course!"  He recovered his breath and came around the wall,
obviously intending to take her into his arms.
     Belana shied back.  She knew he liked her, but they hadn't been on hugging
terms, that she recalled.  But at least they must be still in the Ghean world, still
on Alastari, even.  She grabbed for the first neutral topic that came to mind.
"Kordos...that's your island, isn't it?  Near Valamantis--"
     "It is my island, yes, of course," he said, lowering his arms and looking
disturbed.  "And yours, too, I hope.  As my betrothed and soon-to-be wife and queen,
I hope you will come to regard Kordos as your home just as it is mine.  But...I do
not know of this Valamantis you speak of."

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Not in Zuwayza:

     A deep drumming sound echoed through the house.
     "That will be the Sultan's men--or the Temple Guards, even!--at the door," the
merchant muttered.  "I dare not refuse them entry."
     The merchant hurried away, and Tankesh dismissed the man from his mind.  The way
his head ached, he didn't figure on wasting his efforts on peripheral puzzles.  The
important thing was to get on his feet without falling down.  He braced one hand
against the wall and pushed himself upward.  After a moment, the room stopped
wobbling around.  He took a careful step toward the small table that held his sword,
picked it up, and slung the belt around himself.  Headache or no, he could fight if
he had to, and just having the sword at hand gave him confidence.  He looked around
the room.
     The doctor was tidying away all sign that someone had been here, straightening
the cover on the divan, scooping up a small cup and spoon, a bit of bloodstained
cloth, anything that might be out of place, and gathering it all into a small bundle
which he shoved into his doctor's bag.  Not speaking, the man gestured for Tankesh to
follow him and darted out a door that had been concealed by a hanging curtain.
     No, Tankesh corrected himself as he scrambled to keep up with the man, not
concealed.  It didn't seem to be anything like a secret door, and the curtain was
probably merely to stop drafts.  Well, whatever.  He didn't suppose that mattered.
He would probably never see these people or this place again.
     The doctor led him down a long hall; some of the doorways opening off it had
curtains for closure and others had real doors of wood.  Even in what Tankesh guessed
was a service hallway, the doors were all surrounded by tiles painted with bright-
colored floral patterns, and the floor, also of tile, had a long strip of striped
carpet down it.  The door at the far end was locked and bolted, but the doctor had a
key and let them out into an alley.
     A blank-faced building on the side made a narrow path of black shadow, but for
the rest, the sun turned the alley into an oven.  The doctor didn't pause but led him
onward at a brisk trot, around a corner, and in through another door, across a small
courtyard, into a dusty hallway, out another door, and on and on through a maze of
buildings and alleys.  Tankesh wondered what kind of practice the man had that he
knew this maze so well.  They saw few people in their rapid passage, all of them
heavily cloaked and moving away.
     They ended up in another small courtyard, this one dominated by a spreading
cypress tree and a tiled pool of water with a fountain splashing gently into it.
     "I will leave you here," the doctor said quickly.  "The sage may be able to help
you return to your own world.  Fare you well, Traveler, and may the Goddess smile
upon your going out and your returning."  Before Tankesh could respond, he vanished
back through the gateway.
     "So you are a Traveler, eh?"  The voice came from the deep shade of the cypress,
unhurried and genial.  "It's been a long time since I Traveled, though I visited many
worlds in my youth.  Come sit here by the fountain and tell me how it is with you,
young man."
     Tankesh peered into the shadow but couldn't make out more than a vague presence.
With a slight shrug, he moved closer, noting with relief that the air was distinctly
cooler under the tree.  He sank down onto the rim of the fountain and squinted into
the shadow.
     The sage was very old, a shrunken, withered figure barely visible among a nest
of shawls.  How could he stand shawls in this heat?  "What's going on?" he asked.
     The old man sighed.  "It's a time of change, young man.  I have studied many
lifetimes and do not fully understand it.  There is always the possibility of
Traveling from one world to another, but the choice of destination is ordinarily
restricted, and the passage is difficult.  For some reason beyond my slender
understanding, this is changing...at least for now.  A world of which we know
nothing, have never Visited--your world--is coming into conjunction with ours.
Travel is easy, even happening by sheerest accident.  Thus, I gather, your presence."
     "The doctor who brought me here said the same thing, more or less.  But that
still doesn't tell me why ME, what happened to my companion, and how I get home!"
     The old man laughed.  "Why you and what happened to your companion, I cannot
guess.  As to how you might get home--"  He stretched one thin leg out in front of
him, and the sunlight burned on a crimson slipper with a curled toe.  "I don't think
my shoes will fit you, but there are other ways.  Quite simple, really.  Come into my
terminal."  He hoisted himself to his feet and headed for a door that was barely
visible under a deep arcade.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): NUBIAN GOD of VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): CONAN of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): SLIM SHADY of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 458): WENT TO MARKET of THIS LITTLE PRIGGY
                              (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): BENEFICE of THE TAKEN (The Annalist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): OL' JOE COLLIN of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): PIPE LAYER of WORKING MEN (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): NEBBISH of SAILS OF CHARON from ARADI (The Sentinel)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): THE ASININE (Philthy Phil, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 458): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): WRESTLMANIACS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                           FOTHERINFOP of WIMPS OF PERIL (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 232): DOMINO of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
                           BETHUNES of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): LUKARIAN LAMORAK of SCARLET KNIGHTS (Talon Warsmith)
                               JUGHEAD of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
                               BART WELLENS of 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
                   (turn 468): BOOTLEG PATCHWORK of  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo
                               Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
                           SUE of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): FLITTER MCGEE of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
             (turn 453): INFERNO of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): LONGARMOFTHELAW of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
                          SLAP HAPPY of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
              (turn 316): SCUMBAG of WIMPS OF DEATH (Wimpy, mgr.)
                          WETBOX of BOXES (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): RHYTHM METHOD of SURPRISE! (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hail Tobir,

It is I, Conan, your king, er Duelmaster sitting upon the throne before you!  A shock 
it was to meet an opponent I have never heard of nor seen but I was able to overcome!  
This journey has been long and hard but I sit before you for a second straight turn!  
I consider it a great honor, though I have battled legions of soldiers in my youth my 
age allows me to look upon this achievement in high regard.  I lift my cup on high 
and salute you as we drink tonight at the Gold Dragon Inn.  To celebrate my 
accomplishments come all warriors of Tobir and drink on me tonight for tomorrow I may 
seek your head should you stand before me in the arena!

Conan

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  TOBIR needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  MVP award for MOLYNEUX? 
OTAGO HIGHLANDERS' proud of him after beating VIRGINAL CONCUBINE and getting 12 
points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  JUNKYARD MUTT got smashed by LIVING DEAD 
GIRL, and lost 7 points!  Was that a tear I saw in BERWICK's eye, as he took over 
Duelmastership?  And wasn't CONAN fit to be tied!  Who was the wiseguy that said 
TOBIR's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at The Deeproot Inn?  Don't look at me!   
     So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway?  It can't be for these 
really neat Spyreports can it?  THE DEATH SQUAD was the most avoided team.  Is a 
272-247-23 record really that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are OTAGO 
HIGHLANDERS?  THE DEATH SQUAD, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them 
to accept an invitation!  Like, is MOLYNEUX popular, or what?  He was challenged the 
most in all of TOBIR!  He's got a 13-5-0, is that good?   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to hear from you? 
Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I gotta leave.  TOBIR is like such a dump, and you guys smell 
too much!  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BERWICK 3901                 15   8  1   103       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LIVING DEAD GIRL 4077         9   0  1    98       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CONAN 3986                   12  12  0    84       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 BLACKHEAD 3994                7   2  1    84       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 JUNKYARD MUTT 3936           15  21  2    79       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 MOLYNEUX 3921                13   5  0    79       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 SABRE 2142                   12   9  2    74       LEGION OF STEEL (241)
 ATROPHY 4034                  9   5  1    71       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 SWAMPY SPUR 3928              9   8  0    69       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOLLY BILL 3998              14  12  0    54       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 HYDE 3927                     9   8  2    46       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 BOWSER 4096                   3   4  0    36       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-YETI 4025                     6  12  1    31       DELIVERANCE (33)
-VICTIM 4033                   7   8  1    30       DELIVERANCE (33)
 CATKILLER 4109                3   0  0    30       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 10% VIGORISH 4108             2   2  0    28       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
-PRITHEE 4092                  4   2  1    25       DELIVERANCE (33)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RAPINE 4091                   4   2  1    15       DELIVERANCE (33)
 JOHN Q. PUBLIC 4102           1   5  0     8       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
-UNGER THE OGRE 4103           1   2  0     5       DELIVERANCE (33)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

All -- Hello all, I have returned.  I hope to be here for a while.  I am also trying 
to see if I can get the Pissed Pizza Guys to come back as well.  Good luck to you 
all. -- the Mun

Pissed Pizza Guys -- I would like two large Pepperoni Pizzas and some Bread Sticks.  
You better make it quick or no tip for you. -- The Mun

Street Legal -- Do you realize 4 of my 5 warriors have kills.  I can't wait to bump 
into your gang. -- Lance Turbo

I've been thinking.  With this small of an arena I should try all the weird and not 
so conservative tricks.  Everybody will be running with a 1 Kill Desire (expect in 
desperation).  Let us see what a little self control does for my team. -- Lance Turbo

Leeta -- It seems we could use some new blood in the arena.  Anything we can do to 
help? -- Lance Turbo

Ugh.  Me no feel pain. -- Unger the Ogre

You would think these White Collar Criminals would learn that crime don't pay.  Don't 
do the crime if you can't do it in the arena. -- Prithee

Holy cow! The prodigal son returns. Welcome back to The Mun. Just in time to take 
away my fifth award and a free turn, but hey 2 free fights is still fine. Now looks 
like I need to get that popularity leader spot for any hope at 5 awards! All in good 
fun and are you staying around for a bit? -- Street Legal

Solly Bill -- I think she's taken a liking to you!  Perhaps you SHOULD be afraid! -- 
Street Legal

Molyneux -- A valiant effort but fortunately for me I brought my can opener with me! 
-- Conan

Prithee -- Curse and be damned.  Not fair to treat a regular guy like that! -- John 
Q. Public

Yeti -- Not even a mythical creature can escape the... 10% Vigorish

Berwick -- Not fair picking on a itty bitty fella' like me! -- Atrophy

All -- I thought that I wrote some personal ads last turn, but I guess that I didn't.  
So let's try it again. -- the Mun

All -- Hello all, I have returned.  I hope to be here for a while.  I am also trying 
to see if I can get the Pissed Pizza Guys to come back as well.  He will most likely 
be here in a turn or two.  Good luck to you all. -- the Mun

Pissed Pizza Guys -- I would like two large pepperoni pizzas and some bread sticks.  
You better make it quick or no tip for you. -- the Mun

Conan -- That big knife of yours really hits hard. -- Molyneux

Living Dead Girl -- Let's see who is faster. -- Blackhead

Junkyard Mutt -- I guess you don't like to get your paws dirty.  You just had a quick 
run through the SWAMP. -- Swampy Spur

Legions of Steel -- Welcome back.  I also just returned, and it is good to be back.
-- the Mun, mgr. Otago Highlanders

Swampy Spur -- I hold you PERSONALLY responsible for all the EXTREMELY SMELLY mud 
that the Mutt has tracked through the guildhouse. -- Daisy January
P.S.  And for failing to teach him any new tricks.  We're really TIRED of his old 
tricks.

Living Dead Girl -- You just completely confuse me, ma'am. -- Solly Bill

Rapine -- I think Bowser mistook you for some kind of bone. -- Daisy

Unger the Ogre -- Even if you aren't a cat, I can TELL that you're a cat sympathizer.  
Take that! -- Catkiller

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
    snail.
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
    double!
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
own!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LIVING DEAD GIRL devastated JUNKYARD MUTT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
HYDE was vanquished by ATROPHY in a exciting 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
CONAN was overpowered by BERWICK in a 1 minute mismatched Title duel.
BLACKHEAD devastated NOBLE ASSASSIN in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
MOLYNEUX bested VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 3 minute veteran's duel.
SWAMPY SPUR devastated CHEERFUL FAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
SOLLY BILL was overpowered by SABRE in a 2 minute uneven melee.
CATKILLER won victory over JOHN Q. PUBLIC in a action packed 3 minute duel.
BOWSER luckily beat 10% VIGORISH in a action packed 3 minute gory duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -   5 -  2      64  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -   9 -  1      64  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW         7 -   6 -  1      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK    13 -  12 -  1      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  13 -  1      52  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         TOTAL PARRY        6 -   6 -  1      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   8 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK     9 -  12 -  1      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         SLASHING ATTACK    8 -  13 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   5 -  1      38  |

Turn 469 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         2  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   BERWICK 3901               15   8  1  103 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
STRIKING ATTACK  LIVING DEAD GIRL 4077       9   0  1   98 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
TOTAL PARRY      MOLYNEUX 3921              13   5  0   79 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
SLASHING ATTACK  SABRE 2142                 12   9  2   74 LEGION OF STEEL (241)
AIMED BLOW       ATROPHY 4034                9   5  1   71 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
PARRY-LUNGE      SWAMPY SPUR 3928            9   8  0   69 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    SOLLY BILL 3998            14  12  0   54 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
LUNGING ATTACK   HYDE 3927                   9   8  2   46 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SABRE 2142.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
10% VIGORISH 4108.  The ten other most popular fighters were CATKILLER 4109, 
BLACKHEAD 3994, SABRE 2142, LIVING DEAD GIRL 4077, ATROPHY 4034, SWAMPY SPUR 3928, 
BOWSER 4096, HYDE 3927, BERWICK 3901, and MOLYNEUX 3921.

The least popular fighter this week was CONAN 3986.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were JUNKYARD MUTT 3936, JOHN Q. PUBLIC 4102, SOLLY BILL 3998, MOLYNEUX 
3921, BERWICK 3901, HYDE 3927, BOWSER 4096, SWAMPY SPUR 3928, ATROPHY 4034, and 
LIVING DEAD GIRL 4077.