Date   : 11/17/2003    Duedate: 11/29/2003


DM-14    TURN-476

This Weeks Top Honors


(14-4034) [15-6-1,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ATROPHY                        POSITION IS EMPTY
THE DEATH SQUAD (63)           
(14-4034) [15-6-1,123]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

HYDE                           VICTIM
(14-3927) [15-8-2,88]          (14-4033) [9-11-1,39]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE DEATH SQUAD (63)        44
2. THE DOGHOUSE (188)          17      OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
3. DELIVERANCE (33)             7      Unchartered Team
4. OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)      3
5. PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)    -13      MOTHER EARTH (388)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)  219 126 15 63.5   1/ 2 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     10  4 0
 2/ 2 PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)  106  84 11 55.8   2/ 1 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)  10  5 1
 3/ 3 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)     292 261 23 52.8   3/ 4 DELIVERANCE (33)          6  6 0
 4/ 4 DELIVERANCE (33)         439 491 45 47.2   4/ 5 PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)   5  5 0
 5/ 5 THE DOGHOUSE (188)       255 304  5 45.6   5/ 3 THE DOGHOUSE (188)        3 12 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #19 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The Lord Dankilvan had given them temporary quarters in his mansion.  A suite
among the servants, but that was okay, the decor was less overpowering.
     Berdan looked around at the nearly plain hangings that covered the walls of the
central room in the suite and scowled.  "I don't like this," the ex-assassin growled.
"Sequestering us!  This Dankilvan is up to something."
     Raoul shrugged, took off his hat and looked at it, then put it back again.  The
gesture didn't mean anything, but it gave him time to think about his answer without
being rude.  And he was really tempted to be rude.  Berdan was repeating himself.
And the gladiator was getting tired of repeating his answer.  But one more time...
maybe it would get through this time.  "Lord Dankilvan is trying to keep Skaithvarn
out of Alastarian politics.  Can't blame him for that!  We don't want that
entanglement, either."
     "He's sending a Delarquan spy with us--"
     "A Delarquan gladiator who may or may not be a spy.  So?"
     "She'll be a spy.  Everything we do will be reported to this--"
     "Are you planning to do something you want to hide?" Jeri Northwind asked.
     Berdan jumped a little, having forgotten that she was there.  "No, but--"
     "Then it isn't a problem.  In fact," she exchanged a glance with Raoul, who
nodded slightly, "in fact, it's a good thing.  It means the S'varni won't have to
worry about what we might be up to, because they'll know what we ARE up to."
     "Right, doll.  And besides, better the spy we know and can see than one we
don't.  Surely you realize that, Berdan?"
     The ex-assassin sighed and shrugged.  "I suppose so."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Hallie O'Dene turned out to be an elf.  A southern elf, a dark-skinned Shagornan
elf, an elf of the kind deeply distrusted by the northern elves who figured in the
ancestry of all Fratsfan nobles.
     Berdan refused to have anything to do with her.  "And how Dankilvan, himself of
the High Blood, could actually employ her, trust her--!"  He stormed around their
sitting room, not quite throwing things but looking as though he wanted to.
     Hallie O'Dene watched quietly, showing no offense, nor any other reaction except
mild interest.  Leaning just a little toward Jeri, she asked, "Does he have a strong
heart?  Because he's a prime candidate for apoplexy right now."
     Jeri put a hand over her mouth to hold back a snort of laughter.  "I don't know
him that well," she admitted, "but fortunately, we can do this without him if we have
     The Delarquan's eyebrows rose.  "You think he might abandon the mission just to
avoid working with me?"
     "He might, doll," Raoul said, coming to sit between the two of them on the
room's long couch as Berdan continued to rage up and down the room, cursing Hallie,
Raoul and Jeri, Peranis, Dankilvan, and other people they'd never heard of
comprehensively and bitterly.  "That doesn't worry me so much as that he might quit
us and try to go on without us--go into competition with us over it.  How much can we
trust him?  The man used to be a spy and an assassin, after all."
     "Well, it's as good as a play," Hallie said, "but Lord Dankilvan wants us to get
ON with things.  Maybe we should try to stop him?"
     Raoul shook his head.  "He's got to get through it, doll.  But maybe we should
get on with it ourselves.  Jeri and I are ready to go--we didn't unpack when we got
     "Leave Berdan to follow when he calms down?" Jeri asked.
     "Or go back to Andor, if that's what he wants to do."  Raoul shrugged.  He
glanced at Jeri, who jumped up and grabbed a backpack.
     "I'm ready," she said.  As soon as Raoul and Hallie had picked up their packs,
she added, "What's the matter with this Leemith place that Lord Dankilvan mentioned?
He didn't seem to like them at all."
     Hallie led the way out the door.  "I've got horses waiting for us," she said.
"The Leemin, well, they're all vampires.  Generally good neighbors, but still, you
just don't trust a town full of vampires, do you?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 475): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 464): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): SAPPER of SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 461): DUMB, DUMB of RED DOG GANG (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 426): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 419): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 412): BANANA JR of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 324): UNDERGROUND BEAT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): MALICHAI of WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 360): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 475): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 464): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 461): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 426): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 419): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 412): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 324): FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 360): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
                   (turn 474): SECRET of YOUNG JUSTICE (Rillion, mgr.)
                               NEVILLE of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Rillion, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
                           PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 467): JUDITH of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  We now have a new top team for all of you guys 
to dogpile on.  THE DEATH SQUAD now holds the crown and they are betting they can 
keep it.  Hey everybody, watch out for ZERO THE HERO, who flew up 19 points in the 
rankings after mashing KILDA like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling 
like a basher in the top ten was KILDA, who dropped 17 points after a disappointing 
(to say the least) bout with ZERO THE HERO.  Drawing on all of his experience as a 
8-1-3 warrior, WINDOW WING SIGN went for the Duelmastership against ATROPHY this 
week.  Our battling duelmaster ATROPHY has managed to hold the title, fending off 
WINDOW WING SIGN's none too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, PISSED PIZZA 
GUYS.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the TOBIR arena.  And hey, 
kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid THE DOGHOUSE, please raise you hand.  Wow.  
Does TOBIR really have that many liars?  For those of you who like math, try this 
one:  THE DOGHOUSE + Weapons That go Boom = PISSED PIZZA GUYS + Avoid City.  Well 
just about everybody wants a piece of 10% VIGORISH, who was this week's most 
challenged warrior.   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and take your ally 
in the arena with you and see what happens.   
     Well, there's the manager of the TOBIR giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  
Good luck in next week's fights.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can 
pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ATROPHY 4034                 15   6  1   123       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WINDOW WING SIGN 3876         8   2  3    96       PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)
 MOLYNEUX 3921                16   8  0    95       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HYDE 3927                    15   8  2    88       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 RUDE CUSTOMER 3810           14  12  1    83       PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)
 10% VIGORISH 4108             6   5  0    70       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 SOLLY BILL 3998              18  15  0    69       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SWAMPY SPUR 3928             12  11  1    63       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 CATKILLER 4109                8   2  0    58       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 $2 A GALLON GAS 3884          6   2  0    49       PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)
 FAKE PHONE NUMBER 3839        8   8  1    47       PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)
 YETI 4025                     9  15  1    43       DELIVERANCE (33)
 VICTIM 4033                   9  11  1    39       DELIVERANCE (33)
 PRITHEE 4092                  7   5  1    38       DELIVERANCE (33)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RAPINE 4091                   8   4  2    33       DELIVERANCE (33)
 BOWSER 4096                   6   8  0    33       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 ZERO THE HERO 4129            2   0  0    32       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 JOHN Q. PUBLIC 4102           2  11  0    25       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HAROLD JOHNSON 4130           2   0  0    21       THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
 ABBOTT 4131                   1   0  0    16       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 THE COUGAREAT 3885            3   3  1    13       PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)
 PUSSYFOOT 4126                3   3  0    12       THE DOGHOUSE (188)
 KILDA 4127                    2   3  0    12       OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
 LOGCHAIN 4111                 1   6  0     9       THE DOGHOUSE (188)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
UNGER THE OGRE 4103    1  4 0 DELIVERANCE 33        THE COUGAREAT 3885    472 REVENGED
I ATE MY WORM 4053     2  1 0 I BENT MY WOOKIE 413  RAPINE 4091           472 NOT REVE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Hyde -- I thought you were the NICE guy.  Boy, was I wrong! -- Solly Bill

Victim -- (darkly)  Consider yourself LUCKY you aren't a cat. -- Catkiller
P.S.  And that Leeta makes me play nice with the neighbors.

Prithee -- I hate it when people are polite and THEN beat me up.  Mincing around with
your wrist limp to sucker me. -- Logchain, not reconciled

Kilda -- (flattening his ears and wagging his tail, figuratively speaking) I'll be
good!  No more slippers chewed, well, only a little just on the toe.  No more
sleeping on the couch, although I'll still have to get up there in order to look out
the window sometimes. -- Bowser, vowing to be a GOOD dog

Harold Johnson -- I sure won't stay in YOUR hotel. -- Pussyfoot

Ed. -- Yeah!  I want cake and ice cream NOW! -- Bowser, with a definite gleam in his
eye as he approaches the refrigerator

     No cake, but there'll be fresh apple pie soon.  I'll let you help test a piece
     if you really ARE a good dog. -- Ed.

31 October 2003
     Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari!  The Third Annual Turf
War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns....  C'mon and get your
team some experience, and get declared!
     More info available in North Fork's newsletter.
     Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB

13 November 2003
Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up
for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad.  I named this
fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don!  Sorry TUM didn't get
me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager

13 November 2003
All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel
Alliance.  I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends.  Their
company will be missed, but they will endure.  I wish them well. -- Apex

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WINDOW WING SIGN was bested by ATROPHY in a 1 minute Challenge Title fight.
FAKE PHONE NUMBER was devastated by 10% VIGORISH in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
PRITHEE was overcome by CATKILLER in a 2 minute Challenge match.
JOHN Q. PUBLIC was savagely defeated by YETI in a 3 minute bloody Challenge duel.
THE COUGAREAT was devastated by BOWSER in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge fight.
ZERO THE HERO devastated KILDA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
MOLYNEUX overpowered KHALHUMS DWARF in a unpopular 3 minute one-sided struggle.
HYDE viciously subdued KHALHUMS DWARF in a action packed 1 minute expert's fight.
SWAMPY SPUR was vanquished by NOBLE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SOLLY BILL lost to RUDE CUSTOMER in a 1 minute veteran's duel.
$2 A GALLON GAS defeated VICTIM in a action packed 4 minute match.
RAPINE beat PUSSYFOOT in a exciting 1 minute brutal fight.
LOGCHAIN was bested by HAROLD JOHNSON in a 3 minute conflict.
ABBOTT devastated POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    19 -   6 -  0      76  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         AIMED BLOW        11 -   6 -  0      65  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   22 -  14 -  1      61  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -   6 -  1      57  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         TOTAL PARRY       11 -   9 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL     10 -   9 -  1      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         BASHING ATTACK    10 -   9 -  3      53  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   7 -  1      42  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         SLASHING ATTACK    6 -  12 -  0      33  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  21 -  0      30  |

Turn 476 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        3 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       ATROPHY 4034               15   6  1  123 THE DEATH SQUAD (63)
TOTAL PARRY      MOLYNEUX 3921              16   8  0   95 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
LUNGING ATTACK   HYDE 3927                  15   8  2   88 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (348)
PARRY-LUNGE      RUDE CUSTOMER 3810         14  12  1   83 PISSED PIZZA GUYS (389)
WALL OF STEEL    SOLLY BILL 3998            18  15  0   69 THE DOGHOUSE (188)
PARRY-STRIKE     PRITHEE 4092                7   5  1   38 DELIVERANCE (33)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is HYDE 3927.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
VICTIM 4033.  The ten other most popular fighters were YETI 4025, CATKILLER 4109, 
3810, RAPINE 4091, HAROLD JOHNSON 4130, and ABBOTT 4131.

The least popular fighter this week was MOLYNEUX 3921.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were $2 A GALLON GAS 3884, SOLLY BILL 3998, SWAMPY SPUR 3928, KILDA 4127, 
SIGN 3876, and LOGCHAIN 4111.